 CHAPTER XVIII of THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF PIXIE by Mrs. George D. Horne Vasey. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. I WILL BE TRUE. Stephen Glenn's dreaded interview with his nephew was a typical example of the unexpectedness of advance. For, instead of the indignant opposition which he had feared, his proposition was listened to in silence and accepted with an alacrity which was almost more disconcerting than revolt. In truth, Stannor saw in the proposal an escape from what had proved a disappointing and humiliating position. His pride had been hurt by the attitude of Pixie's relatives, and he could not imagine himself visiting at their houses with any degree of enjoyment. A dragging engagement in England would therefore be a trying experience to all concerned, and it seemed a very good way out of the difficulty to pass the time of waiting abroad. From his own point of view, moreover, he was relieved not to begin his business life in London, where so far he had been free to pursue his pleasures only. To be cooped up in a dull city office, while but a mile or two away, his friends were taking part in the social functions of the season, would be an exasperating experience, whereas in New York, he would be troubled by no such comparisons, but would find much to enjoying in the novelty of his surroundings. Two years would soon pass, and at the end he would come home to an assured position, marry Pixie, and live happily ever after. He sat gazing thoughtfully into space, the fingers of his right hand slowly stroking his chin, a picture of handsome, young manhood, while the deep blue eyes of Stephen Glenn watched him intently from across the room. A long minute of silence, then the two pairs of eyes met, and Stannor found himself flushing with a discomfort as acute as mysterious. He straightened himself and put a hasty question, what does Pixie say? Miss O'Shaughnessy was, Stephen hesitated over the word, she seemed to think that my wishes should have weight, she will consent to anything that seems for your good, she said that two years would quickly pass. Stannor frowned. The thought had passed through his own brain, but no man could approve of such sentiments. On the part of a fiancée, there was an edge of irritation in his voice, of course your wishes should be considered, I don't need anyone to teach me that, I am quite willing to go to America and do my best. I shall be glad of the change, but it's nonsense to talk of not being bound, we are bound, we need not correspond regularly if you make a point of that. I don't think much of letters in any case. Writing once a week or once in two or three months can make no difference, there's only one thing that counts. Stephen assented gravely. Just so, from what I have seen of Miss O'Shaughnessy, I realize that her only hope of happiness is to marry a man who can give her a whole hearted love. Stannor's glance held a mingling of surprise and displeasure. Surprise that the runkle should offer any opinion at all on matters sentimental. Displeasure that anyone should dictate to him concerning Pixie's welfare. He switched the conversation back to more practical matters. When shall I start? The sooner the better, if the post is open there is no object in wasting time. His face lit up with sudden animation. I say, could we manage it in a fortnight, should you think? Miss Ward is sailing by the Louisiana and it would be topping if I could go by the same boat. I might wire to-day about a birth. Who is Miss Ward? Honour Ward. An American, awfully jolly, no end of an heiress I've met her a good deal this year and she was staying at the Hilliers at the time of the accident. Awfully fond of Pixie and a real good sort. He laughed shortly. We ought to go out together, for we are mentally in the same boat. She had intended to stay over the summer, but her romance has gone wrong too. Indeed. Stephen was not interested in Miss Ward's romance, but he made no objection to the sending of a wire to the Liverpool office of the Steamship Company and before evening the birth was secured and Stannor's departure definitely dated. I'll spend the rest of the time with Pixie, was Stannor's first determination, but each hour that passed brought with it a recollection of some new duty which must needs be performed. One cannot leave one's native land even for a couple of years without a goodly amount of preparation and leave taking and the time allotted to Pixie dwindled down to a few hasty visits of a few hours duration. When the lovers sat together in the peacock walk and talked and built castles in the air and laughed and sighed and occasionally indulged in a little mild sparring, as very youthful lovers are apt to do. I must say you are uncommonly complacent about my going, a fellow hardly expects the girl he's engaged to to be in such uproarious spirits just on the eve of their separation. Stannor would grumble suddenly at the end of one of his fiancé's mirthful sallies, where upon Pixie her vanity hurt by his want of appreciation would snap out a quick retort. If I'm sad you want me to be glad, and if I'm glad you're annoyed that I'm not sad. There's no pleasing you. You ought to be thankful that I'm so strong and self-controlled. Would it make it easier if I were hanging round your neck in hysterics? Oh, bar hysterics, but a tear or two now and then. Suppose it was Bridgie who was going instead of me. Would you be as strong and self-controlled? If Bridgie were going, I'd jump. In the midst of her passionate declaration, Pixie drew herself up, shot a frightened glance, and concluded lamely, I'd be very much distressed. That's not what you were going to say. You were going to say that you'd jump into the water and swim after her, or some such nonsense. You can be perfectly cool and calm about my going, but when it comes to Bridgie, if it'll please you better, I'll begin to howl this minute. I don't often, but when I do, it seems as if I could never stop. I thought, Pixie added reproachfully, when a girl was engaged, the man thought her perfect in everything she did, and she sat listening while he sang her praises, from mourn to night. But you find fault. I don't call it finding fault to wish you would show more feeling. It's the best sort of compliment if you could only see it. I like my compliments undiluted, not wrapped up in reproaches like powder and jam. Besides, you're fairly complacent yourself. I heard you telling Jeffrey that you expected to have a real good time. And suppose I did? What about that? Would you prefer me to be lonely and miserable? Oh, dear! cried Pixie poignantly. We're quarreling. Whose fault was it? Was it mine? I'm sorry, Stannor. Don't let's quarrel. I want you to be happy. Could I love you if I didn't do that? And it more than anything else. Honor is coming tomorrow, and I shall ask her to look after you for me. She knows so many people and is so rich that she has the power to help. She will be glad to have you so near. Why is she going home so soon, Stannor? I thought, so did we all. But it's fallen through somehow. I'm at car in town looking the picture of woe. But naturally he didn't vouch safe any explanation. Honor will probably unburden herself to you tomorrow. She will, if she doesn't I shall ask her, said Pixie calmly. I'm crossed in love myself so I can understand. It's no use trying to sympathize till you've had a taste of the trouble yourself. Has it ever occurred to you to notice the mad ways most people said about sympathizing? Sticking needles all over you while they're trying to be kind? Sympathizing is an art, you know, and you have to adapt it to each person. Some like a little and some like a lot and some, like cheering up and others, want you to cry with them and make the worst of everything and then it's off their minds and they perk up. Bridgie and I used to think sometimes of hiring ourselves out as professional sympathizers for there seems such a lack of people who can do it properly. Suppose you give me a demonstration now. You haven't been too generous in that respect, Pixie. Pixie looked at him, her head on one side, her eyes very intent and serious. You don't need it, she said simply, and Stannor looked hurt and discomfited and cast about in his mind for a convincing retort which should prove beyond doubt the pathos of his position failed to find it and acknowledged unwillingly to himself that as a matter of fact he was very well satisfied with the way in which things were going. Pixie was right. She usually was right. It might perhaps be more agreeable if on occasions she could be judiciously blind. He adopted the pained and dignified air which experience had taught him was the surest method of softening Pixie's heart and in less than a minute she was hanging on his arm and contradicting all her former statements. Stannor was very much in love as he traveled back to town that day and the two years of waiting seemed unbearably long. Perhaps if he got on unusually well the wrinkle might be induced to shorten the probation. He would sound him at the end of the first year. The next day Honour Ward made a farewell visit to the hall and took lunch with the family in the panel dining room where she had joined in many merry gatherings a few weeks before. Pixie saw the brown eyes flash a quick glance at the place which had been allotted to Robert Carr, but except for that glance there was no sign of anything unusual in either looks or manner. Honour was as neat, as composed, as assured in manner as in her happiest moments and the flow of her conversation was in no wise moderated. Her hurried departure was explained by a casual, I guess died better which Mr. and Mrs. Hillier had accepted as sufficient reason for a girl who had no ties and more money than she knew how to use. Even Pixie's link's eyes failed to decry any sign of heartbreak. But when the meal was over and the two girls retired upstairs for a private chat, Honour's jaunty manners fell from her like a cloak and she crouched in a corner of the sofa looking suddenly tired and worn. For the moment, however, it was not of her own affairs that she elected to speak. Patricia, she began suddenly, turning her honey-coloured eyes on her friend's face with a penetrating gaze. I guess this is about the last real talk you and I are going to get for a good long spell. There's no time for fluttering round the point. What I've got in my mind I'm going to say. What in the land made you get engaged your Stan Orvon? Because he asked me, of course, replied Pixie readily, and the American girl gave a shrug of impatience. If another man had asked you then it would have been just the same, you would have accepted him for the same reason. Pixie's head reared proudly. Her eyes sent out a flash. That's horrid, and you meant it to be. I shan't answer your questions if you're going to be rude. I'm not rude, Patricia O'Shaughnessy, you're a real sweet girl, and I want you to be as happy as you deserve, which you certainly won't be if you don't take the trouble to understand your own heart. What's all this nonsense about being bound and not bound and waiting for two years without writing he on one side of the ocean and you on another? I can understand an old uncle proposing it. It's just a sort of scheme an old uncle would propose, but it won't work out, Patricia. You take my word for that. Thank you, my dear, I prefer to take my own, and he's not old. He has the most beautiful eyes you ever beheld. What do you suppose Stan Orr would say if you knew you were talking to me like this? I'm not saying a word against Stan Orr. Who could say a word against such an elegant creature? He's been a good friend to me, and he's going to make a first-rate man when he gets to work and has something to think about besides his beautiful self. A miracle knocked the nonsense out of him. At the end of two years it will be another man who comes home, a man instead of a boy, just as you will probably be a woman instead of a girl. It's the most critical time in life when that change is taking place and you better believe I know what I'm talking about. If I were in your place I'd move mountains, Patricia, if mountains had to be moved, but I'd make sure that the man I loved didn't go through it apart from me. But if the mountain happened to be an uncle and the uncle had done everything and was willing to go on doing everything and was older and wiser and knew better than you, oh, dearie me, concluded Pixie impatiently, everybody seems against me. I'm lectured and thwarted on every side. I've not been brought up to it and it's most depressing, and it's not a bit of good either. It's my own life and I shall do as I like. And what about yourself, my dear? You are very brave about lecturing me. Suppose I take a turn. Why are you going back to America and leaving Robert Carr behind? What have you been doing to him? Well, I asked him to marry me, and he refused. Pixie sat stunned with surprise and consternation. Honor's voice had been flat and level as usual. Not a break or quiver had broken its flow. But there was a pallor round the lips, a sudden sharpening of the features, which spoke eloquently enough and smote the hearer to the heart. Oh, me dear, forgive me, she cried deeply. I'm ashamed. Don't say any more, I'd no right to ask. I meant to tell you, I'd have told you in any case, you guessed how it was when we were here. You can't be in love like that and not show it. Thought of him all day. I dreamt of him all night. When he was out of the room, I was wretched. When he came in, I knew it by instinct. Before I could see him, I knew it. In a crowded room, I could hear every word he said. See every movement. When I was sitting alone and heard his voice in the distance, my heart leapt. It made me quite faint. I loved him, Pixie. Pixie sat staring with startled gaze. She did not speak. And for a moment, it seemed that her thoughts had wandered from the story on hand. For her eyes had an inward look, as though she were puzzling out a problem which concerned herself alone. She started slightly as on her again began to speak and draughtened herself with a quick air of attention. Sometimes I thought he loved me, too, but he was not the sort of man who was choose to marry an heiress. My money stood between us, so I tried to make it easier by showing him how I felt. When we went back to London, he said goodbye and refused my invitations, but I met him by accident and she straightened herself with a gesture of pride. I am not ashamed of what I did. It would have been folly to sacrifice happiness for the sake of a convention. I asked him, and he cared. Honor said softly, I had my hour, Pixie, but it was only an hour. For at the end, we got to business and that wrecked it all. I've told you about my factory. Over here in England, when people have looked at me through monocles there have been times when I've been ashamed of pickles, but at home I'm proud. Father started as a working lad and built up that great business, brick by brick. Three thousand hands are implored in the factory, but they were never hands to him, Patricia. They were souls. He'd been a working man himself and there was not one thing in their lives he didn't know and understand. One of the first things I can remember right away back in my childhood is being taken to a window to see those men stream past and being told they were my friends and that I was to take care of them. He had no heirs, my Papa. He never gave himself frills or pretended to be anything different from what he was. There was only one thing he was proud of and that was that his men were the happiest and most contented in the States. When he died he left me more than his money. He left me his men. Honor paused. Her eyes bright with suppressed feeling and pixie, keen as ever to appreciate an emotional situation, drew a fluttering breath. Yes, yes, how beautiful, how fine. All those lives, Honor, aren't you proud? I've told you before, my dear. The best part of me is proud and glad but we're pretty complex creatures and I guess a big duty is bound to come up against the pleasure now and then. At the moment I was speaking of it was one man against three thousand and the one man weighed down the scale. But, but I don't understand pixie puckered her brows in bewilderment. Why couldn't you have both? I thought I could, Patricia. I calculated as my work was full-fledged and his had hardly begun that he would be willing to come over with me. It's a pretty stiff proposition for a woman to run a big show like that and I'd have been glad of help. He allowed I'd have to sell up and keep house for him in England and make a splash among the bigwigs to help him in his career. He put it as politely as he knew how but he made me understand that it was beneath his dignity to live in America and work in pickles and he guessed if I sold out I could find a buyer who would look after the men as well or better than I did myself. So, she waved her small white hands. There we were. He wouldn't and I couldn't. That's the truth, Patricia. I could not. I don't dispute that another person might not manage as well as I. That's not the question. It's my work. It's my responsibility. Those men were left to me and I can't desert. So the dream's over, my dear. And I'm going back to real hard life. Pixie nodded. Big tears standing in her eyes. I should have done the same. I love you enough. Honor gave a quivering laugh. He said the same of me. Couldn't seem to see any difference between the two give-ups. But there is a difference, Patricia. Well, my dear, that's the end of it. We said goodbye and there's no reason why we should meet again. Our lives lie in different places and it's no use trying to join them. Honor, dear, are you very unhappy? Honor's neat little features puckered in a grimace. I wouldn't go so far as to say I feel exactly gay, Patricia, but don't you worry about me. I'll come up smiling. You wouldn't have me pined for the sake of a man who wouldn't have me when he got the chance. I guess Honor P. Ward has too much grit for that. Pixie nodded slowly. But you mustn't be too hard on him, Honor. It's natural to want to live in one's own country and he loves his work just as you do yours. He'll be a judge someday. Chins like that always do succeed and ambition means so much to a man. You might have been pleased for your own sake, but would you have thought more of him as a man if he'd thrown it all up and lived on your pickles? Honor brought her eyebrows together in a frown. Now, Pixie, O'Shaughnessy, don't you go taking his part. I guess I've got about as much sense of justice as most and in a few months' time I'll see the matter in its right line. But for the moment I'm injured and I choose to feel injured and I expect my friends to feel injured too. I've offered myself to an Englishman and he's refused to have me. There's no getting away from that fact and it's not a soothing experience for a free-born American. I'm through with Englishmen from this time forth. Except Stannor. Be kind to Stannor. He's always liked you, Honor, and he knows no one in America promised me to be kind to Stannor and see him as often as you can. Honor's brown eyes searched Pixie's face with a curious glance. Then, rising from her chair, she crossed the room and kissed her warmly upon the cheek. Yes, I'll look after him. I'll do anything you want and nothing you don't want. You can trust me, my dear. Remember that, won't you? You're a real sweet thing, Patricia. Pixie laughed with characteristic complacence. Yes. But why especially at this moment? I always am, aren't I? And how superfluous me, dear, to talk of trust? What have I got to trust? A fortnight later, Geoffrey and Joan Hilliard, Stephen Glenn and Pixie, journeyed to Liverpool to see the last of the travellers. The little party stood together on the deck of the great vessel surrounded on every side by surge and bustle, but silent themselves with the silence which falls when the heart is full. Travelling down to Liverpool they had been quite a merry party and there had been no effort in keeping the conversation afloat, but the last moments sealed their lips. Honour drew a few yards apart with the elderly kindly faced maid who was her faithful attendance. Stephen Glenn and the Hilliard strolled away in an opposite direction. Pixie and her lover stood alone. Well, little girl, this is goodbye. Don't forget me, darling. Pixie gulped. Take care of yourself, Stanner. Be happy. I want you to be happy. I shall be wretched, said Stanner, hotly. I'm leaving you, oh Pixie. He broke off suddenly as the last bell sounded its warning note and bent to kiss her lips. Goodbye, my little love. The tears poured down Pixie's face as she turned aside and Geoffrey Hilliard turned her tenderly down the gangway onto the landing stage where they stood together, tightly jammed in the crowd which watched the great steamer slowly move into the stream. Stanner and Honour were standing together leaning over the towering hall. Their faces were pale but they were smiling bravely and Pixie wiped away her own tears and waved an answering hand. Esmeralda was holding her hand in a tender pressure. Geoffrey on one side and Stephen Glenn on the other were regarding her with anxious solicitude. She smiled back with tremulous gratitude and gripped Esmeralda's hand. Though Stanner was going there was still much left. So many people to care and be kind. The great vessel quivered and moved slowly forward. Honour drew a little white handkerchief from her bag and waved it in the air. On all sides the action was repeated accompanied by cries of farewell mingled with sounds of distress. Pixie caught the sound of a sob and craned forward to look in the face of a girl about her own age who stood on the other side of Stephen Glenn. She wore a small close-fitting cap which left her face fully exposed as it strained towards that moving deck and on the small white features of her very extremity of anguish. She was not crying. Her glazed eyes showed no trace of tears. She seemed unconscious of the deep sobs which issued from her lips. Every nerve, every power was concentrated in the one effort to behold to the last possible moment one beloved face. Instinctively Pixie's eyes followed those of the girls and beheld a man's face gazing back haggard, a quiver almost contorted with suffering. The story was plain to read. They also were lovers this man and this girl. They also were facing years of separation and the moment of parting held for them the bitterness of death. Pixie O'Shaughnessy glanced from one to the other and then thoughtfully, deliberately along the deck to the spot where stood her own lover, Handsome Stanner, bending his head to overhear a remark from honor, stroking his blonde moustache. He looked dejected, depressed, but compared with the depth of emotion on the other man's face such meager expressions faded into nothingness. The moment during which she gazed at his face held for Pixie the significance of years, then once more her eyes returned to the girl by her side. With every minute now the great vessel was slipping farther and farther from the stage. The faces of her passengers would soon cease to be distinguishable. In a few minutes they would be lost to sight yet Pixie's gaze remained riveted on the girl by her side and on her own face was printed a mute dismay which one onlooker at least was quick to read. She understands, Stephen Glenn said to himself, that girl's face has been an object less than stronger than any words. She understands the difference. A moment later he met Pixie's eyes and realized afresh the truth of his diagnosis but she drew herself up in silence and turned sharply aside. In the train returning to town Pixie sat mute and pallid and was waited upon assiduously by her sister and brother. To them it seemed natural enough that the poor child should collapse after the strain of parting. Only one person understood the deepest reason of her distress. He offered none of the conventional words of sympathy and thought, I will be true she repeated to herself with insistent energy I will be true I have given my word she felt very tired and spent as she lay back in the corner of her cushioned seat. On her heart and brain was an unaccustomed weight her very limbs felt heavy and it was hard to understand her very limbs felt heavy and inert as if the motive power had failed virtue had gone out of her at the sight of that anguished face the years of Pixie's untroubled girlhood had come to an end henceforth she was a woman carrying her own burden but I will be true she repeated gallantly I will be true End of Chapter 18 Chapter 19 of the Love Affairs of Pixie by Mrs. George DeHorne Vasey this LibriVox recording is in the public domain Pixie seeks advice a tall young man lay stretched upon a narrow bed which filled an entire wall of the one and only sitting room in a diminutive London flat on the wall opposite was a fireplace and a small sideboard against the third wall stood a couple of upright chairs in the center of the room stood a table a wicker armchair did duty for an invalid tray and held a selection of pipes, books, writing materials also a bottle of medicine and a plate of unappetizing biscuits the young man took up one of the biscuits nibbled a crumb from the edge and aimed the remainder violently at the other end of the room it hit and the biscuit broke into pieces but the glass remained intact a result which seemed far from satisfactory to the onlooker he fumbled impatiently for matches with which to light his pipe touched the box with the tips of his outstretched fingers and jerked it impatiently whereupon it rolled on to the floor to a spot just a couple of inches to the utmost stretch of his arm there it lay obvious and aggravating tempting baffling inaccessible pipe and tobacco lay at hand to supply the soothing which he so sorely needed at the end of a lonely suffering day and for the want of that box they might as well have been a mile away a bell was within reach what used to ring that when no one was near to hear the slovenly woman who called herself a working housekeeper found it necessary to sally forth each afternoon on long shopping expeditions and during her absence her master had to defend for himself as best he might dislocation of the knee was the young man's malady just a sharp swift rush of cricket a slip on the dry grass and Pat O'Shaughnessy shuddered every time he thought of the hours and days which followed that fall he had asked to be taken home for the tiny flat was a new possession and as such dear to his heart and to his home they carried him and there he had lain already for longer than he cared to think he had progressed to the point when he had been able to dismiss a decent but uncongenial nurse and manage with an hour's assistance morning and night and what with reading the newspapers smoking his pipe and writing an occasional letter the first part of the day passed quickly enough lunch was served at one o'clock on a paper mache tray spread with a crumpled tray cloth it was a tepid tasteless unappetizing meal for the working housekeeper knew neither how to work nor to cook and Pat invariably sent it away almost untasted yet every day he looked forward of fresh to the advent of one o'clock and the appearance of the tray it was something to happen something to do a change from the reading of which he was already getting tired but after lunch after he had wakened from the short siesta and realized that it was not yet three o'clock and that six seven hours still remained to be lived through before he could reasonably hope to settle for the night that was a dreary time indeed and Pat whose interests lay all outdoors knew no means of lightening it for the first week of his confinement Pat had had a string of visitors the members of his cricket team had appeared to express sympathy and encouragement some of the men against whom he had been playing had also put in an appearance fellows had come up from the office but in the busy life of London a man who goes on being ill is apt to find himself left alone before many weeks have passed there was only one man who never failed to put in an appearance at some hour of the day and on that man's coming Pat O'Shaughnessy this afternoon concentrated every power in his possession they say if you wish hard enough you can make a fellow do what you like there's any truth in it Glen ought to come along pretty soon how am I going to lie here all afternoon and stare at those miserable matches that wretched woman might be buying the town wish to goodness she'd fetch something fit to eat if that doctor fellow won't tell me tomorrow how much longer I have to lie here I'll get up and walk just despite him Pat jerked defiantly and immediately gave a groan of pain not much chance of walking yet a while he wriggled to the edge of the sofa and made another unsuccessful stretch for the matchbox but those baffling two inches refused to be mastered Pat looked around in a desperate search for help seized a biscuit and aimed it carefully for the farther edge of the box which hit at the right angle might perhaps have twitched nearer to the sofa but though Pat had considerable skill in the art of throwing he had no luck this afternoon biscuit after biscuit was hurled with increasing violence as temper suffered from the strain of failure and each time the matchbox jumped still farther away while another shower of biscuit crumbs bespattered the carpet then at last when the plate was emptied and the last hope gone deliverance came at the sound of the opening of the front door and a quick well-known whistle Glenn no one else knew the secret of the hidden key Pat hallowed loudly in response and the next moment Steven stood in the doorway looking with bewildered eyes at the bespattered carpet what's this playing Aunt Sally rather a wanton waste of biscuits isn't it give me that matchbox Glenn like a good soul it fell off my chair and I've been lying here pining for a smoke and making pot-shots of it till I felt half mad if you only knew Steven Glenn did know it was that knowledge which brought him regularly day by day through the little flat at the top of 80 odd stairs he walked across the room his limp decidedly less in evidence through the passage of the years reclaimed the matchbox and seated himself on the edge of the couch light up old fellow it will do you good Pat struck the match and sucked luxuriously there was no need to make conversation to Glenn he was a comfortable fellow who always understood was good to see him sitting there to look at his fine grave face and realize that boredom was over and the happiest hour of the day begun I say Glenn I made you come mesmerized you it drives a fellow crazy to be done by a couple of inches they say if you concentrate your thoughts I arranged this morning to call at five o'clock I should say by the look of things you had concentrated on biscuits where's that old woman Glenn inquired shopping always is and never buys anything by the taste of the food you should have seen my lunch I'll be a living skeleton at this rate Pat spoke laughingly but the hearer frowned and looked quickly at the sharpened face on which weeks of solitary confinement had left their mark why don't you round into her Darrent might make off and leave me in the lurch they do you know fellows have told me anyone is better than no one at all when you're minus a leg and about that letter the time limit runs out tomorrow you know what I threatened Pat shrugged impatiently you and your threats what's the sense in worrying when it's got to end in worrying and can do no good I've told you till I'm tired the hilliards are abroad Dick Victor is down with rheumatism and Bridgie makes sure he's going to die every time his finger aches she'd leave him if I died first I suppose but I wouldn't make too sure of that to have finished her all together to know that I was lying here all these weeks however Pat shrugged again you've got your way bad luck to you Bridgie wrote to ask me to run down over a Sunday to cheer Victor so there was nothing for it but to own up she'll write me reams of advice and send invocations serve you jolly well right on you instead far away I don't mind your muscles would be the better for a little exercise Stephen Glenn leaned back in his chair and looked affectionately at Pat's dark handsome face twelve months before the two men had been introduced at a dinner following a big cricket match in which Pat had distinguished himself by a fine innings Stephen Glenn from his seat on the grandstand had applauded with the rest of the great audience and looking at the printed card in his hand had wondered whether by chance P. D. O'Shaughnessy was any relation of the Irish pixie to whom Stan Orvon had wished to be engaged the wonder changed to certainty a few hours later on as he was introduced to the young player and met the gaze of his straight eyes Pat was the handsomest of the three brothers nevertheless it was not so much a beautiful Joan Hillier that the beholder was reminded at this moment as of the younger sister who had no beauty at all for Esmeralda's perfect features lacked the irradiation of kindness and humor which characterized Pat and pixie alike Stephen Glenn was not given to fancies but Pat O'Shaughnessy walked straight into his heart at that first meeting and during the year which followed the acquaintance Soba Gun had ripened into intimacy Stephen spent a great part of his time in chambers in town where the young man became a welcomed guest and no sooner had Pat soared to the giddy height of possessing a flat of his own and settled down as a householder than the accident had happened which made him dependent on the visits of his friends Pat was aware of Stephen's connection with his family and more especially with pixie but after one brief reference the subject had been buried though pixie herself was frequently mentioned there was a portrait of her on Pat's mantelpiece to which Stephen's eyes often strayed during his visits to the flat truth to tell it was not a flattering portrait pixie was unfortunate so far as photography was concerned since all her bad points were reproduced and her charm disappeared Stephen wondered if Stannor were gazing at the same photograph in New York and if his imagination was strong enough to supply the want for himself he had no difficulty so vivid was his recollection that even as he looked the set face of the photograph seemed to flash into smiles well I'm glad you have given in he said continuing his sentence after leisurely pause because my threat was real I should certainly have written to your people if you hadn't done it yourself you are not being properly looked after young man to put it bluntly you are not having enough to eat when do you expect that obnoxious old female to come back and make tea deed I've given over expecting said Pat despondently most days I'm ready to drink the teapot by the time she brings it in it's a toss up if we get it at all today as she's gone out Stephen rose to his tall height and stood smiling down at the tired face you shall have it my boy I'll make it myself it won't be the first time have you any idea where the crocs lives I don't want to upset before he could complete his sentence a thunderous knocking sounded at the front door causing both hearers to start with astonishment so loud so vigorous so long continued was the assault that the first surprise deepened into indignation and Pat's dark eyes sent out a threatening flash this is too strong lost her key I suppose and expects me to crawl on all fours to let her in you go Glenn and send her straight here to me I'll give her a bit of my mind I'm just in the mood to do it leaving me alone for hours and then knocking down my door Stephen Glenn crossed the floor his face set into an alarming sternness for his irritation against his friends neglectful domestic had been growing for weeks and this was the culminating point he seized the handle turned it quietly and jerked the door open with a disconcerting suddenness which had the effect of precipitating the newcomer into his arms me dear she cried rapturously as she fell but the same moment she was upright again and bolt upright scorching him with disdainful glance it's not where am I they said it was Mr. O'Shaughnessy's flat it is it is Pixie Pixie come in come quick oh you blessed little simpleton what's the meaning of this you'd know business to come there's no room for you I'm nearly well now there's no need well Pixie and poor tired hungry pat lay back weakly in his sister's arms and came perilously near subsiding into tears it had been hard work keeping up his pecker all these long weeks it was so overwhelmingly home like to see Pixie's face and listen to her deep mellow tones there's got to be me dear for I've come to stay how dare you be ill by yourself it's a bad effect London has had on you to make you so close and secretive you who yelled the roof down if you as much scratched your finger we got the note this morning Glen made me send it he's been worrying at me for weeks Glen pat raised his voice to a cry where are you come in beggar it's Pixie my sister Pixie come and shake hands Steven and Pixie advanced to meet each other red in the face and bashful of eye the encounter at the door had been so momentary that she had hardly had time to recognize the pale face with the deep blue eyes but for him the first note of her voice had been sufficient I thought you were pat I thought you was a cook she straightened at that with the flash of half resentful curiosity why am I so like her and do you always know I don't never but today she was out and your brother wanted never mind never mind pat was too greedy for attention to suffer long explanation what does it matter she's a wretch Pixie she goes out and leaves me to starve that good Samaritan was going to make tea when we heard your knock I'll make it for you Pixie said smiling but she seated herself by pat side as she spoke and slid her hand through his arm as though realizing that for the moment her presence was the most welcome of all refreshments she wore a smartly cut tweed coat and skirt and a soft felt hat with a pheasant's wing and her brown shoes looked quite preposterously small and bright in some indefinable way she looked older and more responsible than the Pixie of two years before and Stephen noticed the change and wondered as to its cause I think I will go now he said hastily you will look after you or Shaughnessy and you will have so much to talk about I'll come again but pat was obstinate he insisted that his friend should stay on and appealed to Pixie for support which she gave with great good will please do we'll talk the better for having an audience won't we now pat we were always vain we were pat assented with unction especially yourself even as a child you played up to the gallery he took her hand and squeezed it tightly between his own Pixie I can't believe it it's too nice to be true and Bridgie what does she say does she approve of your coming she did one moment and the next she didn't she was torn in pieces the poor darling wanting to come to you herself and to stay with Dick at the same time you know what she is when Dick is ill his temperature has only to go up one point to have her weeping about homes for soldiers orphans and pondering how she can get most votes he's buried with military honors poor Richard every time he takes a cold so I was firm with her and just packed my things and came off at my age she straightened herself proudly one must assert oneself was the use of being twenty-two and how she'd have lighted herself if she'd been thwarted at that age and she gave in and packed up remedies Pixie picked up the brown leather bag which lay on the floor and opening it took out the contents in turns and laid them on the sofa a tonic to build up the system beef juice to ditto embarkation to be applied to the injured part tabloids homemade cake that tea I'd forgotten I'll make it at once and we'll eat the cake now she jumped up and looked appealingly towards Steven well you show me the kitchen I don't know my way through these lordly fastnesses they went out of the room together well Pat called out an eager don't belong it was only a step into the tiny kitchen in another moment Steven and Pixie stood within its portals and closed the door behind with a careful hand her face had sobered and there was an anxious furrow in her forehead he looks ill she said breathlessly worse than I expected he said he was getting well please tell me honestly is it true? perfectly true in one sense the knee is doing well but his general health has suffered he has been lonely and underfed and at the first there was considerable pain I did my best to make him right to you before for he is not fit to be left alone that servant is lazy and inefficient Pixie glanced round the untidy room with her nose tilted high too will be a healthful shock for her to come back and find a mistress in position we'll have a heart to heart talk tomorrow morning she announced with so quaint an assumption of severity that Steven was obliged to laugh she laughed with him struggling out of her coat and looking round dantily for a place to lay it that nail on the door there's not a clean spot now for the kettle you fill it while I rummage what's the most unlikely place for the tea it will be there she's the sort of muddler who'd leave it to the potatoes it's in the caddy the brown box on the dresser I found it before the caddy Pixie looks quite annoyed it's so obvious to find oh so it is where's the butter then and the bread and the sugar where's the spoons where does she put the cloths rake out that bottom bar to make a draft does he get feverish at nights it's a mercy I brought at cake for I don't believe there's a thing does he take it strong she was bustling about as she spoke opening and shutting drawers standing on tiptoe to peer over kitchen shelves lifting the lids of dishes upon the dresser one question succeeded fast upon another but she did not trouble herself to wait for a reply and Steven watching with a flickering smile was quite non-plussed when at last she paused as if expectant of an answer what's strong tea what else could it be we were talking of tea I beg your pardon so we were yes she does like it strong and there's only one set of cups white with a gold rim there were two left the other day but it's quite possible they have disappeared she is a champion breaker we'll have tumblers then said Pixie briskly the nicest tea I ever had was at a seaside in where we made it ourselves in a bedroom to save the expense oh here they are and here's the milk now we shan't belong then suddenly standing before the cupboard door and tilting her head over her shoulder when did you hear from Stannor she asked in a still altered voice which struck like a blow Steven Glenn gave no outward sign of surprise yet that sudden question had sent racing half a dozen pulses as voicing the words in his own mind when did you hear from Stannor what do you hear from Stannor the first side of the girl's face had added intensity to the curiosity of years a curiosity which within the last months had changed into anxiety he hesitated before answering the simple question not right often we had a good deal of correspondence when he decided to stay in New York the extra six months he seems to have a climatized wonderfully and to be absorbed in his work unusually absorbed for his age but that is what you wanted you must be pleased about that Pixie said quietly she was arranging the cups and saucers on the tray but she looked at him and took a straight sweet look which yet held so much sadness that it cut like a knife Miss O'Shaughnessy he cried impetuously can you forgive me I took too much upon myself I did it for the best but two years is too long one settles down it was a blow to me when he stayed on for my own sake and Pixie nodded gravely yes we were both sorry we wanted of course to see him but you should not blame him for loving his work you blamed him before because he was changeable now he has done so well you must be proud she smiled at him with determined cheerfulness I am proud and it is not as if it were making him ill he finds time to play on our ward often writes and she tells me Miss Ward seems an adept at play returned Steven dryly in truth the lavishness of the entertainments which honor had planned during the past two years had called the attention of even the English papers Pixie had read a loud descriptions thereof in the journals in the northern town where Captain Victor was still stationed and Bridgy listening there too exclaimed in horror special liveries for all the men servants just for that one evening how wicked and all that money for a few hours when poor children are starving and myself wanting a velvet coat at first Pixie had divined that honor was trying to drown her sorrow in gaiety and was even guilty of a girlish desire to show off before her former lover but as the month grew into years it was impossible to read her letters and not realize that her enjoyment was real not feigned and that she had outgrown regret yes honor was happy and to judge from her accounts Stannor was happy too able even in his busiest days to spare time to join the revels and indeed to help in their organization Miss Ward is an adept at play I don't approve of these gorgeous entertainments said Stephen and Pixie's eyes lightened with a mischievous flash seems to me you are never satisfied now for myself nothing could be gorgeous enough she held out a brown teapot with a broken spout the water's boiling pour it in please and don't splash I'll carry it right in for Pat is impatient we mustn't keep him waiting on the tray and then added a warning please don't talk about things before Pat he'd worry but I'd like your advice another time perhaps when we are alone her eyes met his gravely beseeching and he looked searchingly back yes she had suffered it was no longer the face of a lighthearted child loyal as ever she would not listen to a word against her friend but what secret was she hiding in her heart end of chapter 19 chapter 20 of the love affairs of Pixie by Mrs. George D. Horn-Vasey this Librevox recording is in the public domain Stephen is answered for three days after Pixie's arrival Stephen Glenn took himself from the flat and on the fourth day found a stormy welcome awaiting him ah, Glenn is that you? drawled Pat coldly hope you have an inconvenience yourself don't you know after so many duty visits you are evidently thankful to be rid of me pray don't put yourself out any more on my account take hands with Pixie and seated himself beside the bed with undaunted composure rubbish old fellow and you know it if you have enjoyed my visits so have I but of course now that Miss O'Shaughnessy if it's myself that's the obstacle I can stay in my room but if you've any pity on me come interrupted Pixie my life's not worth living towards the end of the afternoon when Pat is watching the clock and fidgeting for the ring of the bell I'm only his sister you see and he wants a man I'll stay out of the room if you'd rather though I'm not saying she concluded demirally that I wouldn't be glad of a change of society myself it's horribly dull for the poor girl she doesn't like to leave me and I don't like her going about alone you might take her about a bit Glenn if you weren't so neglectful and unfriendly tomorrow Sunday and she's dying to go to the Abbey may I have the pleasure Miss O'Shaughnessy cried Steven promptly and Pixie wrinkled her nose and said you couldn't say anything else but yes just for the sake of seeming proud come and take me and come back to lunch you'll get a good one I've made some changes in this establishment she telegraphed to the Hill Yards housekeeper and she sent off a kitchen maid a broth of a girl who romps through the work and cooks you wait and see I lie and dream of the next meal Pat chuckled with dignity but if I am living in the lap of luxury I'm not going to be chucked by you old fellow he added the more one has the more one wants I've grown to count on your afternoon visit and it upsets me to go without my temperature has gone up every night from sheer aggravation isn't that true now Pixie more blame to you said Pixie but her eyes met Stevens with an anxiety which was not in keeping with her tone and in truth after four days absence the face on the pillow appeared to the onlooker woefully drawn and white Steven registered a vow that Pat's temperature should not rise again through any neglect of his own all right Pat he said well come as usual and if it's inconvenient you can turn me out and if Miss O'Shaughnessy will accept me for an escort I'll be proud to take her about we'll begin with the abbey tomorrow that's all right I thought you would what's the good of a prospective uncle if he can't make himself useful it was the first time Pat had made any reference to Stan Orvon for like the rest of the family his pride had been stung by the non-appearance of Pixie's love at the expiration of the prescribed two years Pat knew that occasional letters passed between the young couple and that the understanding between them appeared unbroken but it was a poor sort of lover who would voluntarily add to the term of his exile during the four days which Pixie had spent in the flat almost every subject under the sun had been discussed but the one which presumably lay nearest the girl's heart and that had been consistently shunned it was only a desire to justify a claim on his friend's services which had driven Pat to refer to the subject now and he sincerely wished he had remained silent as he noted the effect of his words Steven and Pixie stared steadily into space neither spoke neither smiled their fixed blank eyes appeared to give the impression that they had not heard his words in another moment the silence would have become embarrassing had not Pixie wrung the bell and given an order for tea is this your first experience of living in a flat Miss O'Shaughnessy how do you like it as far as you've got Steven asked with a valiant resolve to second Pixie's efforts and she turned her face towards him slightly flushed but frank and candid as ever I love it it's so social you know everyone's business as well as your own the floors are supposed to be soundproof but there really so many sounding boards the couple above had a quarrel last night at the high points we could hear every word it was as good as a theatre though of course she lengthened her face with a pretense of gravity it was very sad but they've made it up today because she's singing she has one song that she sings a dozen times every day something about parting from a lover Pat says she's been at it for months past since we parted yester eve she feels a poor creature I suggested to Pat that we might board him so that he might always be on the spot and she wouldn't have to part he says it would be worth the money the lady below sings come back to Erin by the hour she's always singing it we thought of sending a polite note to say that we had given her request every consideration but that owing to the unsettled condition of politics in that country we really did not see our way to move and they have anthracite stoves why shouldn't they Steven asked he had greeted Pixie's description with the delight of one who finds a painful situation suddenly irradiated by humor but the anthracite stoves conveyed no meaning why shouldn't they if they choose Pixie scowled disapproval so selfish noise like earthquakes every time they break I wake every morning thinking I'm dead this morning I counted 60 separate rakes now here's a problem for you Mr. Glenn how can you avenge yourself on an upstairs flatter if it's below it's quite easy you just bang with the poker but how can you do that on your own ceiling it is no consolation to break the plaster the tea was carried in as she spoke and she rose to seat herself at the table giving a friendly smile at the trim maid who had replaced the housekeeper hot scones Muffet you do spoil us she said cordially and the girl left the room a beam with content she adores me all maids do announced Pixie with her complacent air well to the fore it's the way I treat them my sister now Bridgie Victor she's a coward with her maids of hinting that she'd prefer pastry lighter than lead after begging us all is a personal favor to eat it in case Cook should be hurt when I have a house she stopped short and busied herself with her duties and neither of her listeners questioned her further on the subject tea was a merry meal and Pat consumed the dainty fair with undisguised enjoyment that's the pull of an accident he declared as he helped himself to a third scone you can eat it's awful to think of poor beggars on a diet let's have muffins tomorrow Pixie swimming with butter Glen's coming don't tempt me I am coming to lunch but you won't want me to stay on rubbish we do stay for the whole day and Pixie shall sing to us it's the least she can do if you take her to church Stephen looked at his hostess with a glance curiously compounded of dread and expectation music was the passion of his life so true a passion that it was torture to him to hear the travesties which passed under its name bearing in mind the very small proportion of girls who could really sing he wished that the proposal had never been made since the result probably mean a jarring episode in a delightful day but you have no piano he said uncertainly how can it's not a piano would stop me if I wanted to sing I don't need an accompaniment Pixie declared and Stephen shuttered in spirit unaccompanied songs were terrible ordeals to the listeners eyes as well as ears were tortured one never knew look he pondered as he drank his tea how the situation could be ameliorated if not escaped and reminded himself thankfully that if necessary he could hire a piano and send it in then looking up he met Pat's eyes fixed upon him with a quizzical smile Pat showed at times an uncomfortable faculty for reading his friend's thoughts Stephen realized that it was in force at this minute and was thankful that at least it did not find vent in words Pixie's happy complacence about her own powers was so far removed from ordinary conceit that he dreaded to wound it he therefore hastily changed the conversation and avoided the subject of music for the rest of his call the next morning after arranging for Pat's comfort Pixie retired to her eerie and spent what appeared to the invalid an unconscionably long time over her toilette after the cheerful manner of flats by slightly raising the voice it was easy to carry on a conversation with a person in an adjoining room and Pat therefore favored his sister with a statement that he expected to see something pretty fetching after all this time ha ha! cried Pixie in return and her voice gave no hint of modesty nevertheless and for all his expectations Pat gave a gasp of surprise when a few minutes later she sailed into the room she wore a coat and skirt of a soft mouse-colored velvet very quiet and nondescript in hue and the hat with its curling brim was covered with the same material so far very deuce and quiet but entirely round the hat and curling gracefully over one side was a magnificent ostrich plume which was plainly the pride of its owner's heart she tossed her head in answer to Pat's uplifted hands pirouetted round and round and struck a telling attitude yes ain't I smart? me dear, regard the feather seemed for years to possess a scrumptious feather and have talked by the hour trying to convince Bridgie it was economical in the end but she wouldn't she said was expensive at the start and she couldn't see any further sometimes she is dense she can't help it poor creature living with dick however, as Maralda did and she bought it in Paris to match my coat and isn't it kind of it to turn blue at the end that little touch of blue just behind my ear does set me off honest Indy and Patrick if you didn't know better and came suddenly into the room wouldn't you think I was a pretty girl? I should answered Pat but a moment later he added with true brotherly candor but you're not all the more credit to me for your dirty pixie glibly she lifted a chair which stood at the left of the fireplace carried it to a similar position on the right and seated herself upon it this side's the best I must sit here and let Mr. Glen see my splendor in full blast won't he be pleased? he'll never notice Glen's above hats Pat maintained but nevertheless he could not take his own eyes off the dainty gray figure with the pacant face smiling beneath the brim of the wide hat and that fascinating little tip of blue ending the long gray plume his admiration showed in his eyes but he felt at his duty to be bracing in words I never thought I should live to see you conceded about clothes he do get these shocks in life it's a sad old world answered Pixie and grimaced at him saucily as she buttoned her glove and after all Steven Glen never did notice the feather for a ten pound note he could not have described the next day a single article of Pixie's attire he was aware, however it was pleasant to walk about with Pixie O'Shaughnessy and that passersby seemed to envy him his post and he was relieved that she was disfigured of the extremes of an ugly fashion and after all 9 men out of 10 rarely get beyond this point they sallied forth together bidding Pat's sleep all morning so as to be ready to talk all afternoon and descended the gaunt stone stairs to the hall they walked quietly but with enjoyment in each other's company the usual crowd blocked the abbey door and Steven and Pixie stood waiting under the statue of the Third Great Canning for some time before at last they were escorted to seats in the nave the sermon unfortunately they could not hear but the exquisite service was to both a deep delight remembering the conversation of the night before Steven dreaded lest Pixie should be one of the mistaken ones who sing persistently through an elaborate choral service thereby nullifying its effect for those around he was thankful to find that his fears were unnecessary but once or twice in an unusually beautiful refrain he imagined that his ear caught the sound of a deep, rich note a soft echo of the strain itself evoked by an irresistible impulse he looked inquiringly at his companion but her head was bent and the brim of her hat concealed her face her stillness her reverence appealed to his heart for it was easy to see that she was enjoying the music not as a mere concert but above all things as an accompaniment to the words themselves one time when he glanced at her as she rose from her knees he surprised a glimmer of tears in her eyes and the sight brought a stab to his heart why should she cry what was the reason of the air of repression and strain which from time to time flitted across her face if it were stanards doing Stephen frowned and resolutely turned his attention to the service they came out of the abbey to the majestic strains of the organ out of the dim blurred light shining shaft-like across the glowing mosaic of gold and marble the great jeweled windows into the hard everyday world the pavements were crowded with pedestrians hurrying here and there restaurants had opened their doors tobacco merchants and newspaper vendors were hard at work and country bread pixie stared around in amazed disapproval they crossed the crowded thoroughfares and, led by Stephen found quiet byways in which it was possible to talk in comparative comfort alone it was better even than I expected and that's saying so much it does one good to go to a service like that it's so big the abbey queried Stephen vaguely and pixie gave a quick denial no, no not only the building everything there's an atmosphere of peace and dignity and calm one gets away from littleness and quarreling it's so sad when people quarrel about religion and one sect disputes with another it is indeed replied Stephen, sighing the chances of conciliation would be so much greater if they fought with honey not with gall the world needs kindness oh it does there is such sorrow such pain pixie's voice rang suddenly sharp and a wave of emotion flitted over her face she raised her eyes to his and said suddenly in a voice of melting pathos her face that girl's face all these years I've never forgotten it's laying here she touched her heart with an eloquent finger all these years every night I've prayed that they might meet she shook her head with a determined gesture as though shaking off a haunting thought I couldn't forget you see because it taught me things I had not understood yes said Stephen Dully for his life he could not have said another word he waited with dread to hear the next words but it was worth learning pixie said bravely I was glad to learn love is such a big big thing when it is given to you it's a big responsibility you must not fail nothing in the world must make you fail Stephen said no word the questions which had filled his brain for the last five days were answered now there was no more room for doubt pixie O'Shaughnessy was ready and waiting to marry Stan Orvon at any time when it pleased him to come home and claim her promise end of chapter 20 chapter 21 of the Love Affairs of Pixie by Mrs. George D. Horn Vasey this LibriVox recording is in the public domain a musical evening pixie have recovered her spirits by the time that the flat was reached but the invalid was discovered in a distinctly grumpy mood like many enforced stay-at-homes his unselfishness bore him gallantly over the point of speeding the parting guests and expressing sincere good wishes for their enjoyment but the long long hours spent alone the contrast between their lot and his own the rebellious longing to be up and doing all these foes prayed upon the mind and by the time that the voyages returned a cool martyr-like greeting replaced the kindness of the farewell which was sad and selfish and unworthy but let those suspend their judgment who have never been tried really oh quite well thank you did you really the cold clipped sentences fell like ice on the listener's ears and pixie going out of the room turned a swift glance at Stephen Glenn and wrinkled her nose in an expressive grimace somehow or other Stephen felt his spirits racing upward at the sight of that grimace there was a suggestion of intimacy about it amounting even to confidence it denoted a camaraderie of spirit which was as flattering as it was delightful Pat as usual recovered his good humor at the sight of food and thoroughly enjoyed the simple but well-cooked meal while pixie and Stephen tactfully avoided the subject of their morning's excursion time enough later on to describe the beauties of that abbey service Moffat is going out this afternoon a friend is to call for her and bring her back this evening it will be a change for the creature announced pixie when the meal was finished and meeting Pat's eyes she added quickly I'll make tea what about supper queried Pat sternly if there's a meal in the week which I enjoy better than another it is Sunday night supper what's going to happen about it tonight did I don't know don't fuss, it's beyond me to think two meals ahead there's cold meat I'll rummage up something when it comes to the time Pat turned gloomily to his friend you be better off Glen I asked you to stay for the day but in view of unforeseen circumstances pixie evidently puts Moffat's pleasure before our food I do cried pixie awkwardly Steven smiled his bright transforming smile and said quickly I'll stay, I'd like to if you will just excuse me one moment while I telephone to my man you have a telephone I think in the basement pixie shuddered they have in an ice-box where every drafter that was ever born whirls around your feet and if you speak loud enough hear what you say it's quite diverting to listen Steven went off laughing and pixie shook up Pat's pillows bathed his hands and kissed him several times on the tip of his nose a proceeding which he considered offensive to his dignity and then went off to change the crushable velvet skirt for a house dress of her favorite rose hue a quaint little garment made in a picturesque style which had no connection whatever with the prevailing fashion when she returned to the sitting-room she seated herself on the floor beside the fire and Pat now entirely restored to equanimity and a little ashamed of his previous ill humor himself inquired about the morning's experiences like all the O'Shaughnessies he was intensely musical and during his sojourn in London had taken every opportunity to hear all the good concerts within reach he now wanted to hear about the music in the Abbey and especially of the Anthem and that the mention of it pixie drew a deep sigh of enjoyment oh Pat a boy sang oh for the wings if you could have heard it a clear clear voice so thrillingly sweet soaring away up to that wonderful roof and he sang with such feeling she began softly humming the air and Steven knew then for a certainty whence had come those rich soft notes which had come to his ears in the Abbey sing it pixie sing it cried Pat impatiently you promised and it's one of my favourites go on I'll accompany Steven looked round inquiringly no piano was in the room no musical instrument of any kind and Pat lay helpless upon his bed how then could he accompany the O'Shaughnessy ingenuity had however overcome greater difficulties than this and it was not the first time by many that Pat had hummed an effective and harmonious background to his sister's songs as for pixie she opened her mouth and began to sing as simply and naturally as a bird she had a lovely voice mezzo-soprano in range and though she now kept it sweetly subdued the hearer realized that it had also considerable power she sang as all true singers do as if the action gave to herself the purest joy her head tilted slightly on one side as if to listen more intently to each clear sweet note as it fell from her lips oh for the wings for the wings of a dove far away, far away would I roam the words blotted out for the hearers the gathering twilight in the prosaic little room far away far away soared their thoughts to heights lofty and beautiful in the wilderness build me a nest and remain there forever at rest how had so young a thing learned to put so wonderful a meaning into that last word Pat's rolling accompaniment swelled and sank now and again for a phrase he softly joined in the words and in the concluding phrase still another voice joined in in a soft tenor note agreeable to hear Pixie's eyes met Stevens with a glow of triumph he sings, she cried quickly Pat he sings pure tenor oh what music we can have what trios isn't it delightful you can have real concerts now old man without leaving the flat it was a very beautiful solo Miss O'Shaughnessy said Steven Gravely he was still too much under the influence of the strain to think of future events as long as he lived he would remember today's experience and see before him the picture of Pixie O'Shaughnessy in her rose frock with the firelight shining on her face her unconsciousness had added largely to the charm of the moment but now that the tension was relaxed there was a distinct air of complacence in her reply tis a gift we all have it the concerts we had at knock and everyone playing a separate instrument with not a thing to help us but our own hands I was the flute, do you remember Pat? the way I whistled a flute till y'all stopped to listen to me I do not said Pat I was the cello myself fiddling with a ruler on me own knees double peddling with two knees I had no thought for flutes ye made the most noise I'll see that for ye as usual in any discussion brother and sister fell back to the brogue which time in absence had softened to just an agreeable hint of an Irish accent Stephen smiled with amusement and expressed a wish to hear the exhibition on another day put do sing us something else now he said something worthy to come after the wings and for the next hour while the light waned till they could no longer see one another across the room Pixie sang one beautiful strain after another always in the same soft restrained voice which could neither disturb the neighbors above or below nor be too strong for the size of the little room it was not show singing rather it was a series of trying's over prefaced by oh do you know this or don't you love that bit so that each man felt at liberty to join in as the impulse took him all three were singing together the hour sped by with wonderful quickness and when tea time arrived Stephen insisted upon his right to help his hostess to clear away the meal and when they returned to the sitting room low pat had fallen asleep and there was nothing to do for it but to return to the kitchen now immaculately clean and neat under the rule of the admirable Moffat as well began to think about supper and forage around Pixie suggested but Stephen echoed her own dislike of thinking of meals too far ahead and pled for delay it's rather a strain to sit and look at cold meat for a solid hour at a stretch don't you think he asked persuasively it would spoil my appetite can't we just be quiet you can was Pixie's candid answer I'm going to write I have the greediest family for letters do as I will there's never a time when somebody isn't grumbling never mind me if you want to smoke I approve of men smoking he keeps them quiet can I get you a book Stephen shook his head Pat's library did not appeal to his more literary taste and he announced himself content without further employment oh well then talk it won't disturb me said Pixie easily I'll just listen or not according as it's interesting I'm accustomed to it with Bridgie if you want to set her tongue going just sit down and begin to write Stephen however had no intention of taking advantage of the permission he was abundantly content to sit in his comfortable chair enjoy his novel surroundings how very cheerful and attractive a clean kitchen could be smoke his cigarette and watch Pixie scribbling at fever pace over innumerable pages of note paper there were frequent snatches of conversation but invariably it was Pixie herself who led the way do you illustrate your letters when you write them she asked at one time I always do, realistic you know and saves time at this present moment she drew back from the tables one eye and holding aloft her pen in truly professional fashion I'm drawing you may I see you may it's not quite right about the chair legs they get so mixed up perspective never was my strong point said Pixie holding out a sheet and pointing to the masterpiece in question with the end of her pen there Stephen looked and beheld a rough drawing naturally thin man with preternatural large eyes holding a cigarette in a hand joined to an arm which had evidently suffered severe dislocation it was the type of drawing affected by school boys and girls yet it had a distinct cleverness of its own despite the cartwheel eyes and the skeleton frame there was a resemblance there was more than a resemblance it was actually like a claim to the fact by a shout of laughter I say could I have it it's uncommonly good Pixie shook her head it's for Bridgie you notice the mouth did you know it twisted when you thought aren't they nice narrow boots I'll do one for you another day turn over the page there's another a pat as he will look at the supper tonight the second drawing was even rougher than the first but again the faculty for hitting off a likeness was displayed for pat reclining on a bed sloping at a perilous angle towards the floor gazed at a fragment of mutton bone with drooping lids and peaking brows which represented so precisely his expression when injured that Stephen shouted once again suck say foo commented Pixie jauntily as she settled herself once more to her work quite a gift haven't I couldn't do pretties to save my life but I can caricature now please do be quiet I must get on half an hour later a loud rapping on the wall announced the awakening of the invalid who was once more discovered in a fractious mood asleep nonsense for two minutes perhaps how do you suppose any fellow could sleep with you two shrieking with laughter every two minutes if you choose to keep your jokes to yourself all right it's nothing to me but it's half past seven where's supper even as he spoke another rap sounded on the front door a brisk imperative rap which brooked no delay Pixie darted forward imagining a surprise visit from the doctor herself confronted by a man in black standing sentinel over a hamper Mr. O'Shaughnessy's flat madam I have instructions from Mr. Glenn all right Saunders bring it in bring it in cried Steven quickly he met Pixie's eyes flushed and stammered it's supper he said lamely I telephoned it seemed a good plan and I thought that do you mind mind repeated Pixie laughing faith I do I mind very much but it's the right way about it won't be cold mutton after all I'll have to draw another picture the man carried the hamper into the sitting room unpacked it deftly and laid the contents on the table soup smoking hot from a thermos flask and salad a shape of cream and a fragrant pineapple Pat's lips ceased to droop his eyebrows to peek his dark eyes lit with enjoyment good ol' Glenn he cried what a great idea now let's begin and eat right through as he took part in the happy meal which followed Steven Glenn reflected that generosity and giving also with generosity and receiving Pat and his sister would cheerfully give away their last penny to a friend in need it never occurred to them to show less readiness to accept when it came to their own turn never was a surprise more happily planned never was a surprise more heartily enjoyed End of Chapter 21 Chapter 22 of the Love Affairs of Pixie by Mrs. George D. Horn-Vasey this LibriVox recording is in the public domain he loved her for the next week all went well Pat's improvement, though slow was so sure that a definite date was named on which he should be allowed to take his first few steps the doctor grimaced to Pixie as he gave this promise as if to insinuate that the experiment would not be pleasant but Pat was prepared in theory at least for anything and everything if thereby he might regain his freedom Steven Glenn paid daily visits to the flat and in addition escorted Pixie to various sites of the great city in which to tell the honest truth she showed but little interest music was a passion with her but a picture she had no knowledge and little appreciation the antiques in the National Gallery left her cold and bored though she was full of interest in what seemed to her companion the most uninteresting men and women who were employed in copying the canvases when with the frankness of criticism which she had learned from herself he rallied her on this inconsistency Pixie's answer was characteristic one is dead, the others alive the most uninteresting live person means more to me than a world of pictures that girl in the grey dress had tears in her eyes did you see she looked so poor perhaps she wants to sell her copy and no one will buy there was a man talking to the fat woman next to her as we passed through before he was writing something in his pocketbook I believe he was buying the picture and the poor grey girl felt so sad if Esmeralda were here I'd make her buy her copy too it's a very bad copy Stephen pronounced then he looked down at the girl and a transforming smile lit up his face all the same would I do instead of Esmeralda I'll buy it at once if you wish it the grey eyes brightened beamed then clouded with uncertainty are you sure it may cost that smile there leave that to me would you like me to buy it I would came back at once in the deepest tone of the eloquent Irish voice and at that Stephen strode forward his limp hardly observable on the wide smooth floor and came to a halt by the grey girl's side then followed what was to one or at least a delightful scene the surprise on the grey girl's face the incredulity the ill imitable content as the tall stranger made known his request took out his pocketbook and handed her a card emotional pixie had the softness of tears in her own eyes as Stephen rejoined her and they walked away together down the long room well she said smiling on your head be it now she'll go on painting atrocities and wasting good time when she might be sweeping a floor it's against my principles to encourage the desecration of art why did you do it then pixie demanded heartlessly but next moment she smiled a beautiful smile I know thank you for your mind about desecration art can look after itself and she can't and even if that particular picture isn't beautiful you've given me another that is the picture of her happy face I think she concluded slowly it's going to help me it will be a contrast to turn to when I see that other she sighed as she invariably did when referring to those moments but she shook off the depression with a characteristic gesture a defiant little shake not only of the head but of the whole body and cried briskly now let's imagine what she does when she goes home with that check at home in the little flat music made part of every day's program pixie seated on the hearth rug would sing Irish ballads in a voice of crooning sweetness she and pat would join in duets occasionally Stephen was persuaded to join in a trio and presently as the performers became worked up to their task they would recall one by one performances of bygone days and perform them afresh for the delectation of their visitor pixie whistled a bird-like accompaniment to pat's deep drone pat retiring bashfully beneath a sheet whistled in his turn not only an air but actually at the same time in accompaniment there too a soprano and contralto combination of sounds so marvelous to hear that he was compelled to repeat the performance unmasked before Stephen would believe its authenticity fired by the success of their efforts combs were then produced and swathed in paper turned into wind instruments of wondrous amenability surprising effect of a duet upon combs again when towards the end of the week the repertoire gave out and what shall we sing next to fail of an answer pixie revived another old knock accomplishment which was neither more nor less than impromptu recitatives and choruses a bass recitative by pat on the theme and she went to find some matches and there were none Tom Tom led the way to the liveliest of choruses in which goaded by outstretched fingers and flashing eyes Stephen was forced to take his part there were none there were none piped pixie in the treble and she went and she went rumble pat in the bass matches matches fell from Stephen's lips on a repeated high tenor note through ever increasing intricacies and elaborations ran the chorus until it last had a signal from the soprano it approached its close the three singers proclaimed it in unison that there were none and promptly fell back in their seats in paroxysms of laughter in the course of the last 20 years had he laughed as much as he had done within the last wonderful week Stephen asked himself the question as he walked home the night after the singing of the matches chorus and there was little hesitation about the answer a week ten days of unshadowed happiness and companionship and then a cloud arose pat was not well he grew worse he grew more closely ill the knee itself had done all that was expected of it but the first attempt at walking to which the poor fellow had looked forward as to a festival proved in reality a painful and depressing experience back in his bed limp with pain and exhaustion poor pat realized his own weakness with a poignancy of disappointment he had expected to be able to walk at once though not perhaps for any length of time and these few stumbling steps had been a bitter revelation all these weeks of confinement and suffering and now a long and dragging convalescence pat's heart swelled with bitterness and rebellion despite the presence of pixie and the constant visits of his friend he was sick to death of the one small room and the monotonous indoor life and as a young man successfully started in a young business he longed with ardor to get back to his work the world looked very black to pat o'shaughnessy for the rest of that day and atmospheric conditions did not help to cheer him it was raining a slow relentless rain and in the air for days past had been a rawness a chill which crept to the very bone pixie drew the curtains over every chink and hung a shawl over the end of pat's bed to still further screen him from drafts but pat was not in the mood to be coddled and had that shawl whisked to the ground before one could say Jack Robinson he was curt and silent in his manner and rare and significant sign partook of a fragmentary tea nothing was right everything was wrong his patience was exhausted and though he remained studiously polite to his friend with his sister he unrestrainedly let himself go don't wiggle pixie don't shout don't tell us that story all over again don't lean against my bed don't sit between me and the fire so on it went all through the afternoon which as a rule was so cheery and peaceful and if pixie preserved a placid composure steven glinn was far from following her example he relapsed into a frigid silence which added but another element to the general discomfort the final stroke came when pixie lifted the despised shawl and attempted to wrap it round pat's shoulders and was rudely repulsed and told to mind her own business then with his air of glancing near steven glinn rose from his chair and made his a dear coldest crystal was his manner as he extended his hand to the invalid on his bed and pixie followed him onto the little landing apologetic and miserable you're going so soon if you could stay and talk hard it might divert him from himself he needs diverting I cannot steven declared it's beyond me after all you have done after all your care to speak to you so rudely he had passed through the front door of the flat and pixie stood within the threshold her hand clasping the handle of the door her face tired and strained raised to his own he didn't she cried quickly oh he didn't it wasn't pat you spoke it was the pain the pain and the tiredness and the disappointment they force out the words haven't you found that yourself but his heart doesn't mean them he's all raw and hurting and I worried him I shouldn't have done it you must be angry with me not with pat steven gave her a long strange look I think I he began and stopped short what queried pixie and there was a long pause I don't know he answered dreamily then and without a word farewell turned away and descended the steps but he did know in the moment in which he had stood facing her while she pled her brother's cause the secret her own heart was revealed never under any circumstances could he be angry with pixie O'Shaughnessy he loved her she was for him the one woman in the world with all the stored up love of his empty life he loved her and longed for her for his own that was the reason of his happiness during the past days of the extraordinary new life which had filled his mind of his content and pixie's contentment his anxiety for her anxiety his furious resentment when she was abused and he loved her he loved her when she lapsed into her Irish brogue and said me dear he loved her when she assumed frenchified heirs struck attitudes and cried ma foie he loved her when she was sad when she was glad when she was youthful and mischievous when she was serious and old when she walked beside him in the street in the hat with the curling feather when she sat on the hearth rug in her rose you'd dress crooning songs in her soft sweet voice always and always he loved her she had crept into his heart in her sunshine lighting up unused rooms she had melted his coldness as the south wind melts the frost he loved pixie and pixie was going to marry stanore vaughn steven glinn stepped shuddering into the clammy street and away up on the fifth floor landing pixie still stood motionless holding the handle of that open door finally that he would come back he must come back he had never said goodbye end of chapter 22