 Schlitz, the beer that made Milwaukee famous, presents the Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. This is Ronald Coleman. And Benita Coleman. Inviting you to join us again on the campus of Ivy College as the guests of our sponsors, the brewers of Schlitz Beer. The taste of Schlitz, the taste so many people prefer, has made Schlitz beer first in sales in the USA. If you like good beer, do as millions of people are doing all over the nation. Ask for Schlitz, the most popular beer in history. Welcome again to Ivy, Ivy College that is in the town of Ivy USA. The fall semester being well underway, Ivy's president, Dr. William Todd Hunter-Hall, can steal a few moments down there to dip into a magazine or scan the newspapers. With an educator, of course, who should maintain at least a nodding acquaintance with current affairs, this temporal theft is not subject to reproach. It's what might be termed a stainless steel. As he says to his wife Victoria, former star of the English stage. Ah, the dear old fourth estates. To think of what mechanical ingenuity, what integrity, and what chicanery go into making up a modern newspaper. And for what? Eventually to line a pantry shelf or wrap the garbage. Yeah, I know. Secrets at Gloria Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, and a big fat one on Sunday. If you're still with the home section, darling, I'll take it. I still have to learn how to make a decent pumpkin pie. Now, then you'd better avoid the newspaper cooking experts and consult a female friend who has no editorial obligation to extoll the virtues of pecans, marshmallows, whipped cream, and frosted watercress. I think you're right. Simplicity and boldness is the right approach. A little filling and a lot of crust. Yeah, uh, where's the home section? Uh, here it is, darling. You'll find an interesting suggestion in it about how to peel onions without weeping. Uh, you, you, you peel them underwater. Not me. I can only hold my breath for 20 seconds. No, no, no, you, uh, no, you don't have to get, get underwater, my darling. Just put your hands in a pan of it. Oh, oh, oh, good. I'd hate to have you come home and find me getting dinner in a diving suit with little air bubbles of domestic happiness popping out of my helmet. Is there anything interesting in your section, dear? Not much. Except an announcement that my good friend Judge Merrick is retiring from the bench. After 41 years of hazardous service. Now what's so hazardous about being a judge? I thought all they had to worry about was middle-aged spread and not mashing their fingers under the gavel. No, there's more to being a judge than trying to stay awake during protracted cases and tripping over a loose hem in a black robe. Any a good judge has been lost in the quagmires of local politics, objections sustained, and the tug of privilege at the elbow. Well, how did your good friend Judge Merrick avoid all that by not listening? No, no. He always heard every word. But when the verbiage was too thick, he'd call both attorneys before the bench and lean over and say quietly, gentlemen, I am genuinely impressed by your extensive understanding of codes and statutes. And it is my painful duty to remind you that this case is about people. Hmm. It sounds a bit like a certain husband of mine. I may have acquired a similar viewpoint. He was my professor in the history of law at Ivey. And it was the only law class in which Walt Whitman's poetry was studied as diligently as the civil code. Well, I suppose there's no reason why rhyme and reason shouldn't meet. It's a shame this kind of influence is so rare. Especially with an election coming up. Somehow, the significance of the word people takes on entirely new meat meanings at election time. That is when Vox popularly is temporarily Vox day. Meaning Vicky... The voice of the people is the voice of God. You didn't catch me on that one, you see. Well, who's running and for what? Well, several undergraduates on the student council have been drafted or called to reserve units and some offices must be refilled. Including the presidency. Well, good heavens. A student body without a head. Oh, well, no head's better than two, I always say. Judge Merrick's nephew is a candidate. Ellie Hugh Potter. Oh, him. Ellie Hugh Potter. Law student and a debater. He's always making speeches. He's having a love affair with his own voice. Any other candidates? Yes. There are two others whose names I don't recall and a girl, a Deborah Jameson. Pretty name. I hope she wins. Well, your concern for the victory of a pretty name is rather typical of the average voter. It's sad to realize that so many elections, fraught with grave issues, have hung on the cut of a moustache, a mastery of political rhetoric, and an ability to play the guitar. Or a willingness to play the piano. Yes, I'm right. However, I too hope Ms. Jameson wins. At least I hope Potter does not. Why? Don't you like him? Oh, knowing him by campus reputation only, I neither like nor dislike him. And I deplore, however, his tendency to manipulate and his affection for expediency. I'm sure he didn't get his conception of legal ethics from Judge Merrick. Well, surely he won't try anything shady in this election. Truly speaking, the word shady is subject to various definitions, depending somewhat on the source of illumination. The glare of well-handled publicity sometimes makes a candidate look quite bright, and the dark shadows behind him appear natural and reasonable. Hmm. You know, my darling, I have a feeling I just said something rather cogent. Yes, but I'm sure you did because I didn't understand it. Now, how does Mr. Potter feel about opposing a female candidate? Well, it appears to be young Potter's belief that women shouldn't be running for student body presidents. He seems to think that girls are unable to run gracefully, particularly against him. How do you do? Dr. Hall is in, I presume. Is that you, Mr. Wellman? No, no. It's... Ella, you Potter. That's funny. Sounded like Mr. Wellman. Dr. Hall, I have something very important to discuss with you. Go right ahead. Uh, as I said, I have something very important to discuss with you. Uh, Mr. Potter, um... Discussing things with my wife present is a habit I developed in the early stages of my marriage. It's too late to change now. She knows too much. I was only thinking she might be bored. Well, if you're going to discuss what I think you're going to discuss, there's not a chance of my being bored. I'm going to be fascinated. Oh, then, uh, you know. Everyone knows, Mr. Potter, only the balloting is secret, not the candidates. Well, and Dr. Hall, well... It's a good question. Are you by any chance related to Mr. Wellman, Mr. Potter? No, sir. No, sir. A friend of my family is all not even remotely related. No, sir. Not in any way. Hmm. Strange. Your conversational techniques are uncannily similar. Uh, but what is it you wish me to do? Talk to the Jameson girl. Deborah Jameson, get her to withdraw her candidacy. Oh, wouldn't that be influencing candidates? A dishonorable practice? What's dishonorable about influencing a candidate for her own good? All candidates for any office. They're always influenced. That's why we have political parties. They formulate platforms to influence the candidates, don't they? Newspapers influence them? So does public opinion. So do their mothers, their friends. Men that can't take advice as a bad candidate. One who takes too much isn't a candidate. He's a figurehead. Well, just the same, Mrs. Hall. It's a politically acceptable practice. There are a lot of accepted political practices, Mr. Potter, which we could do without. And as president of this college, I feel that to influence the outcome of a student election would be an abuse of power. But you'd be doing her a favor. Really, save her a lot of embarrassment. And at the same time, rid you of some important competition. Or do we leave that unstated? You mean, Ellie, that she doesn't stand a chance of winning? She hasn't got a prayer. Believe me, not a prayer. That, my boy, is a colloquialism, which I deplore and to which I do not subscribe. Everyone is entitled to a prayer. Not even a politician who is quite apt to confuse the power of prayer with the prayer of power can withhold that final privilege. Yes, she has a prayer, and therefore a chance. If you're so convinced that Deborah's goose is already cooked, why are you bothering with all this? Just because you love a debate? A matter of principle is all. Not only a waste of campaign energy, but it's against tradition. There's never been a woman president of the student body. Never in Ivy's entire history, never. And we have no intention in inaugurating the custom, believe me, no intention. I take it your avoidance that the first person singular is not due to sheer modesty, Mr. Potter, so who is we? Well, most of the members of the student council. Well, if it's not an impertinent or an embarrassing question, how could the women members of the council feel about it? That they've gone far enough. We've convinced most of them that in the interests of the American home it would be better if Deborah Jameson is restrained. You mean if a woman is elected president of the Ivy student body, the family as we know it today is doomed? It's a philosophical point, a sociological point. Women unrestrained will eventually replace men. With certain exceptions, I don't think men have run the world up to now with any great success. Why not let us girls have a go at it? There might be a little hair pulling, but I'll bet there'll be more business than gunpowder than gunpowder. Oh, my, my, my dear Victoria, you're opening up a whole new field of debate, one in which at some other time I would joyfully plan. We have our tomorrow at 2.30 behind the gymnasium, huh? Yeah. Uh, Potter, what happens if Miss Jameson insists on running for office? Or am I prying too closely into campaign strategy? Well, the original strategy, Dr. Hall, was to see if you wouldn't try to discourage her, but that seems to have failed. My husband's reputation should have warned you that it would alley you. He'd be for the underdog if it had just bitten him through his best trousers. So we try something else. We'll find a way. Potter, as a grim look in your eye, a sort of brass knuckle determination which impels me to issue a warning. Let not judge Merrick's nephew's tuped to devious tactics. He wouldn't like it, and neither would I. You know my uncle, Dr. Hall. To paraphrase a fairly well-known exclamation, alas, poor Merrick, I knew him well. He served the law with honor and distinction. Go thou, Potter, and do likewise. Battlefront! For the student election! Oh, oh, no. No, only that Miss Deborah Jameson has apparently been informed that the pernicious Potter was closeted with me, and suspect that I'm advising him on troop movements. Oh, poor Toddy. Always in the thick of it. Oh, this sort of thing is meat, drink, and French pastry, to me. I'm always fascinated by undergraduate intrigue. It always seems to... Yeah, I suppose this is Mr. Potter, the woman-hater again. Well, if it is, he's a convert. No woman-hater could visit you more than once and maintain his status. But we'll see. How do you do? Hello, Dr. Hall. I'm Deborah Jameson. Can I talk to you a few minutes? Of course you can, Miss Jameson. Come in. I'm happy to meet another contestant in our political arena. Victoria, this is Deborah Jameson. Hello, Deborah. Sit down, won't you? We've already met your opponent, Mr. Potter. Yes, I heard he was here, but I can't sit down. Thank you. We're holding a street rally in a few minutes. That's quite a schedule you've undertaken for yourself. I haven't undertaken it. It's been forced on me, Dr. Hall. I just wanted to quietly run for office. I thought I was capable. But apparently a lot of other people don't think so. Well, unfortunately, a lot of other people don't think. I know how you must feel as a woman, Mrs. Hall. And I guess I should have expected Dr. Hall to line up with a man because he's a man. Deborah, I did line up with them, but in somewhat the same way the Army and Navy football teams do. You mean you haven't given Elec you Potter your support? Well, I not only haven't given him my political support, but I'm planning to withdraw my amiable attitude. Oh, well, that's a relief. But I had to come over here to make sure. I couldn't believe you'd take sides in this. Well, I couldn't very well. Do you really want to be student body president? Not now. I did once. It would have been satisfying and exciting. Now it's a duty I have to run. I have to try to win. And with an ever diminishing concern for what you're trying to win? That's the trouble with fighting prejudiced people like Elec you Potter, Dr. Hall. You get so taken up with a battle you forget what it's for. That's a concise epitaph of mankind's more eminent failures. Well, thank you again. For what, my dear? For not being prejudiced, I guess. Bye. Goodbye. Dr. Hall speaking. Yes, they did what? But it has always been a majority, Potter. You can't just take a basic law and pull it out of shape to suit an immediate situation. Constitutional law is basic and not subject to expediency. Where are you speaking from? Oh, Mr. Wellman's office. Hmm. That figures. Please tell Mr. Wellman not to leave. I'm coming right over. Now. Dirty work at the crossroads, dear. Foul play and haggamugger in the old churchyard. All three of them. It seems the Potter faction checked over the student constitution. The section's governing elections. Section three states that the president shall be elected by the largest number of votes. Well, don't tell me they found a hole in that. They found a slight ambiguity and stretched it into a gaping aperture. The largest number of votes has always been interpreted as meaning a majority. The special meeting of the council has reinterpreted it to mean a plurality. Well, that sounds to me like reinterpreting a barking dog into a dog that barks. Ah, but in elections, there's quite a difference. Which I shall attempt to clear up for you and for me sometime in the future. In this case, with so many candidates running, they were afraid Deborah Jameson might get it on the... get in on the runoff. So, they tampered with the constitution. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going over to the administration building to see Mr. Wellman about this and another matter. Yes. It seems to me if you feel it's wrong to mess around in student elections, Mr. Wellman ought to keep his six-fingered hands off it too. I quite agree. Anyway, it gives me a chance to see Mr. Wellman on his own ground. What if anyone calls while you're out? You just tell him I'm taking my constitution law. It's a fast-moving world we live in. Some things that are new today may be commonplace tomorrow and out of date next week. Chap Waterford, the automobile dealer here in Iowa, was discussing that subject with me just recently. You know, Ken, I can still remember the first car I ever sold. It was the last word. It had just about everything new and modern that the manufacturers could dream up. But now, I look at some of the buggies on my showroom floor and well, I wonder how it could ever have been new. But like they say, time changes all. Take your friends, the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company. When they started brewing Schlitz over a century ago, there was strictly a small outfit, like the early car makers. Well, in time, Schlitz made its hometown, Milwaukee, famous as the world's brewing center. And in time, the brewery grew to the point where now they brew and sell more beer than anyone else. Same thing in the auto business. A few of the car makers made Detroit famous as the motor city. There's just one reason back of these success stories. It's giving the American public real quality right from the start. Now, the taste of Schlitz, as far as I'm concerned, is the best you can yet. And you know that taste will never get out of date. That's one of the few things that the passing years can't change. As long as other folks keep on liking that taste as much as I do, I'm sure Schlitz will stay the most popular beer in history. Well, champ, if you could ask everyone who prefers Schlitz, why he does, you might get a million different explanations, they'd all boil down to the one word that you used a couple of times. Taste. That's the reason Schlitz beer is first in sales in the USA. Next time, every time, ask for Schlitz, the beer that made Milwaukee famous. That's a rock. As we return to the halls of Ivy, we find Dr. Hall with an expression of firm resolve on his face just entering Mr. Clarence Wellman's office in the administration building. Hello, Dr. Hall. Sit down. Sit down. I know exactly why you're here. Sit down, Dr. Hall. Sit down. Thank you. Have a cigar? No, thank you. Oh. Well, all right. Mind if I smoke? I'd view it with pleasure, Mr. Wellman, with or without tobacco. With or without tobacco? I don't know what you're... Oh! You mean you don't care if I burn to a crisp? Well, under the circumstances, I don't know that I... Mr. Wellman, as president of this college and also... Yeah, I know. I know. I know. As president, you don't think you should interfere in student politics and you don't think I, as gunman of the chair of board... I mean, chairman of the board of governors... Chairman of the board of governors should be involved. Or I might say... Mr. Wellman, as president of this college... You said that, Dr. Hall. And let me tell you, I had nothing to do except maybe in an advisory capacity. I mean, when I'm asked for advice, I give advice, just like you. And when you tell me, I should have stayed out of this business, changing the constitution. Mr. Wellman... What is it? That is not what I wanted to see you about, primarily. Although I do think you were at fault if you advised young Potter and his devious maneuver. Well, if you don't want to... I mean, if that's not what you came here for... What did you want? Your contribution. My what? As president of this college... And as local head of the community chess drive... I want your contribution. Oh, why didn't you... I mean, here I thought you came over to scold me for... Now, please, please get out your checkbook and make out quite a large check to the community chess. Its goal this year is $8,366,328. Wait a minute. You were asking me for $8 million when last year... I thought I was being generous when I get... How could you possibly ask me just one person to... No, no, no. The community chess is not asking you to defray its entire expense for one year. Mr. Wellman... Just a 25% increase over what you gave last year. Oh, well, that's quite different. I mean, I can understand... I mean, with everything going up and all... Exactly. Since career, penicillin has gone up 110%. Bandage is 80% and so on. Oh, I don't have to tell you what the community chess does. The many organizations and agencies it serves. So, your check, please. Very well. Now, let me see. What amount did I give? Here we are. It's on this slip of paper. I've added 25% here. Here's the total. Oh, there you are, Dr. Paul. Thank you. Thank you. Well, I hope people elsewhere will be as prompt and as generous as you. Because it's unthinkable not to give all we can. The heart of every community should be big enough to fill its chest. Now, thank you, Mr. Wellman. You've been very helpful. Oh, I'm helpful, all right. And about the part of Jameson election. Yes, sir. I helped her, too. I knew Elhue was stooping pretty low, so I called her up and gave her some advice. Well, now, may I... May I ask what advice you offered her? Well, she's a girl with girlfriends, and he's a boy with boyfriends, so, well, I told her to read Lysis Tratter. Well, Mrs. Tratter. Lysis Tratter. Mr. Wellman, I retract everything I have said and thought about you up till today. This doesn't commit me to anything tomorrow. But Lysis Tratter, it's wonderful. You're a surprising man, Mr. Wellman. Oh, right on. Say, about the girls who refused to go back to their boyfriends unless they stopped fighting wars all the time. Yes, that's roughly the theme, my darling. An insistence of the gentlemen lay down one set of arms before they use the other set. Did you read it, Deborah? No, I didn't have time, but I asked some of my friends who wore glasses about it and got the general idea. And I might say the male half of the student council is in something of a panic. They all get no more dates than a fig tree. But I don't know what good it'll do now I lost the election, potters in. Would demand a recount or something. Oh, I couldn't do that. The election was legal. Was it? Of course. What do you mean, Dr. Hall? By what authority are the council members on the council? By authority of being elected to it. Elected by a majority or a plurality? Uh-oh. I begin to see a loophole in a loophole. Well, I'm afraid I don't get it. Deborah, if the members of the student council who elected Potter instead of you, and by a narrow margin at that, are holding office under a cloudy title, not only your defeat, but their elections are possibly illegal. If, by altering the constitution to favour a certain candidate, they have perpetrated an illegal act, either the new members or the old members are holding office unconstitutionally. I think it requires a friendly and disinterested legal opinion. Well, that certainly knocks the whole business haywire, doesn't it? Where can we get this legal opinion? Judge Merrick. Judge Merrick. He's Potter's uncle. Aren't we kidding ourselves? Not if what my husband says about the judge is true, Deborah. If you know what I mean, he does not interpret the law relatively. Judge Merrick told them to hold another election, and they did, huh? They did. And Deborah won this time? Fair and square? No, Deborah lost again. But fairly and squarely. She's really quite happy about it. Oh, don't tell me Ella Hugh Potter is student president. Very well, darling. I won't. Well, but is he? Yeah, who? Ella Hugh Potter, is he? Is he what? William T. Hall. Now, let me warn you, I have just read Mrs. Trotter again myself. No, no, no, no, no. Please, please, please, please. I give up. The new student president is one, Herman Bollinger, known to his loving classmates as the Weevil. And, as sufficient unto the day, he is there, I suppose. I never heard of him. Dark horse candidate. And why are they called dark horses, by the way? Oh, probably because it's hard to see them running until they get to the finish line. But in this case, I am delighted to see the victory of a dark horse over a brilliant jackass. You don't mean Deborah? Oh, no, no, no. I mean Potter. But Deborah is a filly. Running out of her class. And now that we have torn up our mutual tickets, I must make out my community chess report. Starring Mr. and Mrs. Reinal Coleman has been presented by Schlitz, the bear that made Milwaukee famous. The bear that made Milwaukee famous. The taste of Schlitz. The taste so many people prefer has made Schlitz beer first in sales in the USA. Why don't you two enjoy the most popular beer in history? Next time, every time, ask for Schlitz beer. Now, here again are Mr. and Mrs. Reinal Coleman. Good night, everybody. Good night from all of us. And from our sponsor, the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and its thousands of friendly dealers throughout the nation. Good night. Good night. At the same time, at the Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Reinal Coleman, Mr. Wellman is played by Herbert Potterfield, Deborah Jamison was Virginia Gregg, and Ellie Hu Potter was Sydney Miller. Tonight's script was written by Arthur Ross and Don Quinn. The Halls of Ivy is presented by the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, who invited to enjoy on television the Schlitz Playhouse of Stars on the paper for time and channel. Ken Carpenter speaking. Now, join the Great Gilder Sleeve on NBC.