 Well, this morning we're going where angels fear to tread let's turn in our Bibles to the song of Solomon we're gonna talk about sex and men men I'm expecting you to take notes during this session you you may have never taken a note a day in your life you may have gone through school and never took a note but you want to take notes over these next few minutes so ladies give him the pen give him a piece of paper and make him take notes this is there you go give it to give it to the boy there you go great let him take notes guys you need to take notes over this Bible study and everybody needs to kind of squeeze a little bit tight sit a little bit tighter to their spouse at least to where you can reach over and grab their knee this is gonna be a knee squeezing Bible study you don't even have to look you can just reach over and just squeeze their knee they'll know what you mean father in heaven thank you so much for this wonderful morning Lord thank you for speaking to our hearts and all that you're gonna continue to do in our hearts and in our marriages this morning Lord we approach a subject that we don't talk much about in church but Lord it's so important to you and it's important to us and I pray that you would give us needed instruction today we love you and thank you for your spirit who is our teacher we pray all this in Jesus name amen once a pig farmer had three sows that he wanted to breed with his neighbors bore one morning after calling to make arrangements he loaded the three pigs in the back of his pickup truck and he drove to his friend's farm there he unloaded his sows he put them in the pin with the male pig and he left them there for the rest of the day well when he returned that afternoon he asked his neighbor how he would know if the mating had been successful well his friend told him he says in the morning when you wake up if the pigs are rolling in the grass you know it took if they're rolling in the mud you know it didn't well the next morning the farmer ran to the window he checked on his sows and there they were all three girls were out there rolling in the mud well the farmer was disappointed but he decided to try it again and so he loaded up the pigs in the back of his pickup he took them back to his friend's farm again he put them in the pin with the board he promised to return that afternoon when he arrived he asked again he said now how do I know little piglets are on the way well the neighbor repeated he says if they're rolling in the grass you know it took if they're rolling in the mud you know it didn't well as soon as he awoke the next day he looked out the window and there the pigs were rolling in the mud undaunted he loaded up the three sows a third time and he returned to his neighbor let the end of the day he asked his friend one more time he says now let me make sure I get this straight if they're rolling in the grass it took if they're rolling in the mud it didn't that's right you got it well that night the farmer had to fly out of town but the next morning he called his wife and he asked her to look out the window and tell him are the pigs rolling in the grass or are they rolling in the mud well he waited and he waited well finally his wife returned to the phone he had to know he said honey please tell me are the pigs rolling in the grass or are they rolling in the mud she responded neither two of them are in the back of your pickup truck and one is in the cab honking a horn obviously his neighbor's male pig was no more the moral of the story is that God created sex not just for breeding but for blessing the Creator designed sex not just for our procreation but for our pleasure if all God cared about was repopulating the earth cloning or cell division would have done the job but sex brings a husband and a wife together in a manner that creates intimacy and enjoyment sex fuses two lives and solidifies the commitment and closeness between a husband and wife make no mistake about it when God created sex like everything else he created he said that it was good today we want to look at the biblical account of Solomon and the Shulamite for the song of Solomon describes just how lavish a source of intimacy and ecstasy sex can be between a husband and a wife you know since sex is so often abused and misused in our society we get the impression that sex is evil but not so that is certainly not God's take on the subject Hebrews 13 verse 4 reads marriage is honorable among all in the bed undefiled the word translated bed there is the Greek word for sexual intercourse Proverbs 5 verses 18 and 19 daringly declares rejoice with the wife of your youth let her breast satisfy you at all times always be enraptured with her love hey God is no prude God's version of sex as it should be is so graphic the language in this book so erotic and sensual that the Jewish rabbis prohibited their young men from even reading the song of Solomon until they had reached the age of 30 years old these eight chapters will steam your glasses they'll cause your pulse to race they'll cause your face to blush but just remember God isn't blushing God wrote the book on sex and he wants us to read it and understand it and even model it in our marriages you know a trip to the bookstore will turn up thousands of sex manuals on the market but there's only one written by the creator and that's the song of Solomon this morning we're gonna chart the sexual highs and lows of Solomon and the Shulamite for marriage and especially sex and marriage it's not always fireworks and red hot 4th of July's there are occasionally chilly days where the temperature dips near freezing at times the sex sizzles at other times it can fizzle but most of the time it's somewhere in between this was the experience of Shlomo and Shula if you're taking notes and you men should be I've outlined their ups and downs as follows so what I want you to write down guys you ready the bill for sex write that down the bill for sex the thrill of sex the frills to sex the skill in sex and finally the chill on sex here it is again in shorthand form five movements in this book the bill the thrill the frills the skill and the chill now before we pry into their sex life let me introduce to you our couple well Solomon you probably know he was the king of Israel one day his royal entourage was weaving its way through the countryside when he saw this beautiful maiden keeping watch over her family's flocks Solomon returned to meet her disguised as a shepherd and it was only after she had fallen in love with him and agreed to marry him that he revealed to her his true identity now this Shulamite was a country girl sort of a hillbilly babe sort of like a carry-underwood beautiful but a little backwoods and this was why Solomon fell in love with her his palace was packed with cover girls pampered pin-ups with store-bought beauty but the Shulamite was different hers was a natural beauty a simple rustic yet stunning beauty she had the perfections of a rose the attractiveness of a field of wild dandelions and she was honest a woman of virtue and character undefiled by the big city her country charm and innocence had caused the king to fall in love and he took her to be his wife and moved her to his palace what chapter one opens with her already in Jerusalem she is a new queen in new surroundings during her country courtship it was just her and her shepherd just the two of them shlomo and shula the days were free the hours were private the duties were light but now she is the wife of the king she has servants and responsibilities and Solomon too is about his daily duties he's busy attending to affairs of state and he's often late returning to the palace life has changed for them both she's not used to sharing her husband with so many people and she is now painfully aware that in the palace there are other women who long for her husband she sees the looks oh they would love to be with the king upon moving to the city she realizes she now has competition and this is why in chapter one we find her questioning her attractiveness nursing her insecurities listen to her sulk in verses five and six of chapter one she says I am dark but lovely oh daughters of Jerusalem like the tents of Qadar like the curtains of Solomon do not look upon me because I am dark because the sun has tanned me my mother's sons were angry with me they made me the keeper of the vineyards but my own vineyard I have not kept the shula might bemoans the fact that her skin is tough and tanned she feels inferior these palace princesses were always indoors they were pampered with bubble baths and facials their skin was moisturized they had creamy complexions but the shula might had been out in the fields under the hot sun caring more about her brother's sheep than about her own appearance and when she compares herself with the royal court she feels inferior and she wonders why Solomon would ever love the likes of her men the first step toward a healthy sex life for you and your wife you ready got that pen ready the first step is for you to show a sensitivity to your wife's insecurity a sensitivity to your wife's insecurities the bill if you will the cost for a bright vibrant vigorous sexual intimacy is your sensitivity for fellas just like the shula might maiden your wife has some misgivings about her physical appearance you know a recent Harris poll revealed that 99% of all women that's a lot of women 99% 99% of all women wish they could change something about their body the popularity of breast implants and fanny tucks and facelifts testified of female insecurities men your wife won't give herself freely and uninhibitedly unless she is certain you're satisfied with what you're getting this is why you are a blabbering idiot if you are ever critical or condemning of your wife's appearance did I say that with enough tenderness a blabbering idiot if you want her to want you then praise how she looks tell her how much you love the special features God created in her even the features she's added over the years the more assurance you bring the more affirmation you send her the more trust that she has in your acceptance and your appreciation the more she'll be able to open up and loosen up in her sexual expression and this is what Solomon does look at how he speaks to her concerns in verse 8 if you do not know old fairest among women follow in the footsteps of the flock and feed your little goats beside the shepherd's tents for I have compared you my love to my filly among Pharaoh's chariots your cheeks are lovely with ornaments your neck with chains of gold Solomon praises the shulamites beauty he assures her that as far as he's concerned she has no competition the mention here of Pharaoh's Philly was probably a reference to the daughter of Pharaoh who was given to Solomon in a diplomatic maneuver to ratify the peace treaty he had signed with Egypt the presence of this princess had added to the shulamites insecurities Sondland lets his wife know that she is the only girl for him radical feminist Gloria Steinem was once asked why she had never married Gloria responded I could never mate in captivity well if Gloria wants to compare herself to a wild animal that's up to her but most of the women I talked to they view marriage not as a captivity but as an opportunity for creativity for only when a woman is completely sure of her husband's acceptance and commitment can she release mentally and relax emotionally and explode sexually husbands always remember the bill for a healthy sex life is your sensitivity to your wife's insecurities well second notice the shulamite describes the thrill of sex she recalls one night in particular that characterized the early days of their marriage the evening began with an official dinner and ended with a sexual feast the king and queen were at a royal function when the shulamite tells us what happened chapter 1 verse 12 while the king is at his table my spite nerd sends forth its fragrance a bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me that lies all night between my breasts my beloved is to me a cluster of henna blooms in the vineyards of Ingeti that evening the shulamite had gone to dinner wearing a new perfume that could have been hell hell number five well in the midst of the meal the king caught the aroma the aroma wafts across the room it was recognized by the king he knew it was her perfume the couple exchanged knowing glances and just a look in each other's eyes aroused passions were allowed to eavesdrop in the conversation once the dinner was over and they'd returned home they're in the palace bedroom when in verse 15 Solomon says to his bride behold you are fair my love behold you are fair you have doves eyes the shulamite answers him in verse 16 behold you are handsome my beloved yes pleasant also our bed is green the beams of our houses are cedar and our rafters of fur and notice here she's talking about the rafters which means she must have been lying on her back the shulamite is inviting her husband to bed in chapter 2 verse 1 she says I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys and this is again a sign of her insecurities for in ancient Israel roses and lilies were common flowers rather than go for a hundred dollars a dozen you could pick up roses anywhere and here the shulamite is bringing her insecurities to bed self-doubt will spoil the evening unless a quick thinking Solomon picks up the bill and look at how he answers her verse 2 oh like a lily among thorns so is my love among the daughters what a fantastic line she calls herself a lily but Solomon counters by saying oh no a lily among thorns Solomon was sensitive to his wife's reservations and insecurities and quick to lay them to rest she continues like an apple tree among the trees of the woods so is my beloved among the suns I sat down in his shade with great delight and his fruit was sweet to my taste he brought me to the banqueting house and his banner over me was love sustained me with cakes of raisins refresh me with apples for I am lovesick his left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me the phrase translated lovesick means that she was exhausted from making love and the talk here of raisin cakes and apples it has sexual overtones after a night of stimulating sex in verse 7 the Shulamite has some advice for her single servants she says I charge you oh daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles or by the doze of the field do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases as a nuclear reaction has to be contained lest it causes damage sex is also an emotional reaction that should be reserved only for marriage now there are two points here that I'd like to make about this episode the wooing and the wording guys write that down the wooing and the wording both add to the thrill of sex first I want you to notice the wooing slo-mo and shula begin their foreplay long before they enter the bedroom it all starts at this dinner this official function that they had you know book was published several years ago entitled sex begins in the kitchen I never read the book but I've never forgotten the title the implication is that little thoughts of kindness and thoughtfulness and tenderness throughout the day do more to arouse your wife sexually than does a sudden embrace at the end of the day see good husbands realize the differences in the sexual impulses of men and women men are turned on by sight show the old boy a little leg and he goes wild but women are aroused slowly more gradually a stimulating night in bed begins with a kind word at breakfast or a telephone call during the day just to check on how she's doing or help with the dishes or help with the kids getting their homework done and putting them to bed women respond more to forethought than to simply foreplay kind of get an amen yeah it was coming when it comes to sexual desire men are like dry leaves easily combustible it doesn't take much for them to ignite but they burn out rather quickly whereas women are like charcoal oh it takes longer and more effort to ignite them lighting charcoal can be a very delicate job you have to protect it with from the wind you have to prime it with a little lighter fluid you have to be patient it may take several matches before you can get that fire started before you get a flame but once it begins to burn man it lasts a lot longer than a pile of leaves men your wife has a deeper threshold for sexual enjoyment than you do but if she's to experience it she needs to be gently primed and protected and shown patience notice the wooing but second notice the wording why all this symbolism all this talk of apples and raisin cakes realize when god speaks of sexual expression he doesn't use slang terms which would be crass and crude nor does he use medical terms which would sound unromantic and mechanical no god uses poetic symbolism to describe sexual expression the shulamite says i sat down in his shade his fruit was sweet to my taste boy when you think of it symbolically these phrases are quite to turn on ladies what sounds more appealing to you hey get over here and let me inspect the merchandise or let me visit your garden and enjoy its fruits now i'm not going to give you any examples but kathy and i have had a lot of fun experimenting with our own phrases i'm just saying a great way for a couple to spice up their sex life is with verbal stimulation don't talk dirty but talk descriptive develop some clean poetic yet suggestive language to stimulate your spouse and communicate what you desire it's biblical and it will dramatically enhance your sexual expression well next i want you to notice the frills to sex for in chapters two through five the shulamite flashes back to their courtship to solemn's proposal into the honeymoon it was a spring day when he proposed she accepted of course and solemn went to jerusalem to prepare for the nuptials he then returned for the wedding in a honeymoon all the way from lebanon back down to the city of jerusalem and she remembers it well chapter three verse six she says who is this coming out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke perfumed with mur in frankincense with all the merchant's fragrant powders behold it is solemn's couch with 60 valiant men around it of the valiant of israel they all hold swords being expert in war every man has his sword on his thigh because of fear in the night of the wood of lebanon solemn the king made himself a palanquin he made its pillars of silver its support of gold its seat of purple its interior paved with love by the daughters of jerusalem go forth oh daughters of zion and see king solemn with the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding the day of the gladness of his heart now of these frills i want you to notice guys you're writing this down frills under that i want you to notice two things the couch and the clothes the couch and the clothes solemn comes riding in his honeymoon limo this palanquin was a mobile bedroom it was sort of the ancient version of a customized van with the stereo and the opaque glass and a shag carpet you know this is the vehicle that you would never allow your teenage daughter to step foot in the court ladies in jerusalem lined the bed with soft flower petals and scented powders you see the orientals believe that the art of love making should include the stimulation of all five senses the honeymoon environment was exciting and stimulating and soothing listen guys solemn's couch showed that he cared husbands please understand that when it comes to your wife's sexual desire environment matters when a man is aroused all that exists in the world are those two sheets and his wife for the guy sex is a time to block out but for the wife sex is a time to take in that she becomes acutely aware of her surroundings are the clothes picked up can the children hear us are the lights just right are the dishes done dishes done a husband can care less about the dishes being done i just as soon go downstairs and throw the dishes out in the backyard by all new dishes oh but a smart lover doesn't fight with his wife on these issues he plays by her rules and he makes the environment they share as enticing as possible one biblical commentator describes the bedroom environment that we'd find if we had climbed into the king's palanquin the wall would be lined with beautiful linen and satin curtains coated with scented powders to make the room smell erotic the bedsheets were dusted with scented powders as was the clothing furthermore their bodies were anointed with scented lotions to top it all off they probably burned incense and thus the whole room was filled with smoke in fact we probably would have choked guys perhaps you could start with a little scaled-down version men draw a warm bubble bath for your wife and let her soak while you do the dishes and put the kids to bed prep the bedroom with some soft lights some romantic music go down to walmart pick you up one of those love songs from the 80s put that cd on buy you one of those scented candles you know vanilla flavor or whatever give your girl a massage with some soothing lotion try that once a week for three months and tell me if you're disappointed with the results see Solomon shows his wisdom here by sparing no expense and creating the right atmosphere for his bride look two at the clothes for in chapter four verse one we're told that she's wearing a veil in other words sexy lingerie an old pastor friend said to a young charlie shed he said son you've got to save money somewhere but there are two places you should never cut back never try to save money on food or your wife's lingerie a woman will act sexy if she feels sexy and she'll feel sexy if she looks sexy so i say sell the car who needs to refinance the house put off buying shoes for the kids but whatever you do don't you dare cut back on your wife's lingerie budget my wife knows that she can take that credit card at any time she has an unlimited lingerie budget well fourth here i want you to notice the skill in sex listen carefully as we read through chapter four and again husbands take notes because i'm afraid that some of us guys are like all hands we've yet to learn that touching our wife with words does far more to a rouser than just us pawing all over and this solemn man he is a master at spinning a phrase he arouses his wife by whispering compliments in her ears guys write this down his talk his tenderness and then his touch work together to bring the shulamite to sexual satisfaction look at chapter four verse one behold you are fair my love behold you are fair you have dove's eyes behind your veil your hair is like a flock of goats going down from Mount Gilead imagine watching a flock of black goats walking down a mountain in single file line and you get the idea here he's describing the locks of her hair of course hair like goat's hair might not mean as much to your wife as it did to solemn's you might have to do a little translation work here but work at it she'll love it verse two your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep which have come up from the washing every one of which bears twins and none is barren among them apparently she had a good orthodontist as a kid verses three and four your lips are like a strand of scarlet and your mouth is lovely and realize you don't come up with this kind of imagery on the spur of the moment solemn has given this wording some advanced thought and some preparation he continues he says your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate your neck is like the tower of david built for an armory on which hang a thousand bucklers all shields of mighty men solemn loves her jewelry i mean baby your necklace is like an ammunition belt typical man and apparently he's working his way down down her body from her temples to her neck oh down he goes in verses five and six he whispers your two breasts are like two fawns twins of a gazelle which feed among the lilies until the day breaks and the shadows flee away i will go my way to the mountain of murr and to the hill of frankincense and i'll just let you guess what he means by mountain of murr and hill of frankincense but men make no mistake about it you are watching a skilled lover here at work he doesn't just jump right in and go for the big splash he moves slowly and gently lovingly lingering over every inch of her body he shows some self restraint he takes time to tell her how beautiful she is to him schlomo knows what he's doing in verse eight he says come with me from lebanon my spouse with me from lebanon look from the top of amana from the top of sineer and hermone from the lions dens from the mountains of the leopards remember it only been a few days since they were in faraway lebanon and he since here her mind wandering it's a what does he do he addresses her concerns this is a revolutionary idea for some of you guys but sometimes before a wife is ready for sex she might want to talk did you ever think about that guys she might want to discuss her day or what's happening with the kids the wise husband resists the urge to just get on with it instead he remains sensitive to her needs solemn says in verse nine you have ravished my heart my sister my spouse you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes with one link of your necklace how fair is your love my sister my spouse how much better than wine is your love in the scent of your perfumes and all spices your lips oh my spouse drip as the honeycomb honey and milk are under your tongue and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of lebanon the Hebrews knew about this kissing long before the fridge took credit for it and in verse 12 he turns up the heat a garden enclosed is my sister my spouse a spring shut up a fountain sealed your plants are an orchid of pomegranates with pleasant fruits fragrant henna was spiked spitanard and saffron calamus and cinnamon with all trees of frankincense myrrh and aloes with all the chief spices a fountain of gardens a well of living waters and streams from lebanon you need to understand that gardens in biblical times were more than a couple of rows of vegetables they were walled in closures interlaced with paths and fountains and shade and fruit trees there were sweet smelling herbs and there were little breezy arbors where you could sit and enjoy the refreshing effects of the garden see up until the honeymoon the shulamite sexuality was a garden enclosed the wall was up the marriage before the marriage this garden full of spices and sweets was owned by her alone but now she invites even entices her husband to enter her garden and enjoy its pleasures notice here he initiates and she doesn't just tolerate no she invites him to her garden verse 16 she says awake on north wind and come all south blow upon my garden that its spices may flow out let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruits the shulamite asks Solomon to arouse her passions and enjoy its fruits notice both husband and wife here are givers not just takers there should be no selfishness in the marriage bed the goal should be to please each other not just ourselves and i love the last half of chapter five verse one many bible commentators believe it's actually the voice of god putting his stamp of approval on their sexual expression he says eat oh friends drink yes drink deeply oh beloved ones remember from the very beginning god said that it was good well finally i want you to notice the chill on sex friend chapter five the shulamite has a dream that warns her about some bad attitudes that are creeping into her sex life she says in verse two i sleep but my heart is awake in other words this is a dream it is the voice of my beloved he knocks saying open for me my sister my love my dove my perfect one for my head is covered with dew my locks with the drops of the night in her dream Solomon is late getting home from work must have been the wee hours of the morning because his clothes are soaked with the dew he wants into the queen's room to initiate intimacy but she's not willing in verse three she offers up a couple of lame excuses she says i have taken off my robe how can i put it on again and i know what Solomon's thinking baby don't worry about your robe that's the last thing you're gonna need with what i got in mind and then she says i have washed my feet how can i defile them i mean all of a sudden the old gal develops a clean foot fetish what a lame excuse she just doesn't want to be bothered does she that's right she recalls in verse four my beloved put his hand by the latch of the door and my heart yearned for him i rose to open for my beloved and my hands drip with my my fingers with liquid myrrh on the handles of the lock i opened my for my beloved but my beloved had turned away and was gone my heart leaped up when he spoke i saw him but i could not find him i called him but he gave me no answer see by the time the shulamite rises to open the door Solomon is gone he has been spurred his fragile male ego and ladies it's a lot more fragile than you think his fragile male ego has been crushed she realizes that he's been hurt and she races out into the street to find him and to apologize i am convinced that most women don't realize how significant sex is to their husband clueless might be too strong a word but they vastly underestimate its significance let me ask you ladies a question how many wives desire conversation with their husbands raise your hand how many wives desire conversation with your husbands great just about all of you how many of you would think that something was terribly long in your relationship if conversation were lacking raise your hand yep yep well wives recognize a simple truth sex is to a husband what conversation is to a wife ladies when the world beats your man down and his superiors mistreat him when he falls short of his goals sex is your tool to prop back up his confidence a wife can let her husband know that at least to one person he is still the most desirable man in the world a sensitive woman can use her central charms to pump air back into a man's deflated cells through sex she can make everything right in his world at least for a night she can encourage him in his manhood and ladies even when you have to turn your husband down and at times you will please do it gently another writer writes when a wife needs to reject her husband's sexual advances he may feel down not just for missing out on a moment of pleasure but his manhood may feel rejected see this is why a wise woman eases the blow by saying something well i just can't get with it tonight baby but i know i won't be able to stay away from a man like you for long when kathy says that to me it's like oh okay i can wait another night no problem and ladies make sure those rejections are few and far between in first Corinthians seven paul says to married couples that our bodies are not our own you know when i got married me and my wife made a swap she got my hairy ugly naughty dirty body and i got her beautiful curvaceous sweet soft body i think i got a pretty good deal verse four puts it in first Corinthians seven the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does and the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does her body's mine and my body's hers and therefore he says in verse five do not deprive one another and the reason for that so that satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control in short sex in marriage should consist of three f's make it fun make it fulfilling and perhaps most importantly make it frequent see the shula might hear makes three changes in her marriage to remove the chill that had settled over their sex life write these down guys first was a new attitude toward her husband second was a new aggressiveness toward her husband and third she sought out a new atmosphere to share with her husband we'll close with these three changes first notice she adopts a new attitude toward her husband's body listen to her in chapter five verse 10 my beloved is white and ruddy chief among ten thousand his head is like the finest gold his locks are wavy and black is a raven his eyes are like doves by the rivers of waters washed with milk and fitly set his cheeks are like a bed of spices banks of scented herbs his lips are lilies dripping liquid mur his hands are rods of gold set with barrel his body is carved ivory inlaid with sapphires now so far in the relationship only Solomon has described his spouse's physical features but now the shula might describe Solomon's body notice she is training her mind to think sexually about her husband and she too starts with his hair and works his way down in fact the ivory portion of his body is the area where the sun never shines it stays white and the sapphire inlays are the blood vessels running under his skin she says in verse 15 his legs are pillars of marble set on bases of fine gold his countenance is like Lebanon excellent as the cedars in other words he's strong and tall his mouth is most sweet yes he is altogether lovely this is my beloved and this is my friend oh daughters of Jerusalem to some women the word husband has become a synonym for provider father nice guy even friend but they have stopped associating the term with the word lover wise you need to view your husband's body as god's gift to satisfy you sexually not the romance novel but your husband's body there is nothing wrong with you thinking of your husband in erotic sensual sexual ways here the shula might is daydreaming about Solomon's physical features and it's breaking the chill her new attitude toward her husband's body is arousing her sexual passion well second notice a new sexual aggressiveness toward her husband in chapter seven she dances for Solomon and understand this is definitely not the foxtrot this is no square dance ladies this is a very sensual sexy seductive dance done only for the purpose of arousing her husband sexually and it is only for the bedroom in verse one Solomon talks about his wife sandals but that's the last stitch of clothing he mentions apparently that's all she had on was a pair of sandals in verse one how beautiful are your feet in sandals oh prince's daughter the curves of your thighs are like the jewels the work of the hands of a skillful workman now this phrase the curb of your thighs is best translated the vibration of your hips the shula might understands that men are turned on visually and so she's providing her husband with some visual sexual stimulation and when you get to your bedroom later tonight i want you to read the rest of chapter seven this must have been quite a dance but ladies don't miss the point there are times in marriage when you need to be the sexual aggressor if your husband is the only one in the marriage initiating intimacy he grows frustrating he gets the impression that he's a burden on his wife husbands need to know that sexual desire in the marriage is a two-way street female author joe berry writes this one of the greatest blessings a husband receives is when his wife takes the initiative those are the times he cherishes in his heart just as a woman cherishes an unexpected gift or a bouquet of flowers a couple's sex life will be very one-sided and vital lines of communication block if the husband always has to be the one to institute sex the shula might understood this and she worked through whatever reservations she had to bless her husband many wives are afraid that if they show too much sexual interest toward their husband he'll become more obsessed with sex than he already is but that is seldom true question when are you most obsessed with food answer when you're on a diet but your obsession with food dissipates when you can eat all you want and wife you'll find the same is true with your husband's sexual appetites take the old boy off the diet and he might just settle into a frequency that's comfortable for you both well finally i want you to notice the new atmosphere look at chapter seven verse 11 come my beloved let us go forth to the field let us lodge in the villages let us get up early to the vineyards let us see if the vine has budded whether the great blossoms are open and the pomegranates are in bloom there i will give you my love see the shula might realize is that a change of scenery might renew her sexual interest and so she suggests a romantic trip let's go to the country perhaps your marriage could benefit from the same crews or mountain getaway in conclusion let me summarize what we've learned guys ready get the notes out you're ready see how you did the bill for a vibrant sex life is a come on help me guys the bill to a vibrant sex life is a exactly the thrill is accentuated by wooing and wording don't forget the frills the couch and the unlimited section lingerie budget the skill involves talk tenderness then touch and the chill is broken with a change of attitude and aggressiveness and atmosphere for as with all of life sex included things go better with god if you want the best sex life do it god's way follow the bible the owner's manual and before long your spouse will be in the pickup honking the horn father we thank you bless us today in jesus name amen