 J-P-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Dane, yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with, I'm Building a Palace for Alice in Dallas. Scarcely a day passes, ladies and gentlemen, that doesn't bring us dozens of letters full of praise for Jell-O. Some of these letters tell us how much children love Jell-O's gay color and delightful goodness. Others report on you and especially tempting desserts that can be made with Jell-O. And still other letters applaud the fact that Jell-O is so easy to make, set so quickly and dissolves in lukewarm water. Put all these letters together and you get a picture of a dessert that just can't be beat. A dessert full of rich, tangy flavor, as refreshing as the juicy ripe fruit itself. And a dessert that takes only a few minutes to make, a few pennies to buy. Order it tomorrow in any or all of Jell-O's six delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. Incidentally, if you think strawberry, raspberry and cherry Jell-O taste even better than ever, you're right. Because they now have a new improved flavor obtained by using a natural flavor base artificially enhanced. Start to enjoy Jell-O right away, friends. Ask your grocer for this grand dessert tomorrow and make up a rich, luscious mold of shimmering Jell-O. Alice for Alice in Dallas, played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as there are only five more weeks left in the current Jell-O series, at this time I would like to pay tribute to a man who, for the past 30 weeks, has brought joy and happiness into millions of American homes. Well, what's this? A man whose wit, charm and personality have endeared him to the hearts of his public. Something fishy going on here. A man who every year at this time renews the contracts of myself and the other members of the Jell-O cast. Oh, ho! Jack Benny! Oh, so that's it. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and, Don, I was wise the minute you opened your big fat mouth. There are only two times a year when I hear that malarkey. Christmas time and option time. Well, Don, I suppose you've looked over the contract I made you for next season and you're all ready to sign it. On the contrary, Jack, I'm not quite satisfied with some of the clauses in it. What? Yes, Jack, I discussed the matter at home and the little woman doesn't think my increase in salary is quite big enough. Oh, she doesn't. But, Don, when I spoke to you on the phone, you seemed quite happy about everything. I know, Jack, but after talking it over with the little woman, I feel that you're taking advantage of me. Oh, you feel, huh? Well, Don, let me ask you something. Who does the announcing on this program? You or the little woman? You can expect her any week now. Oh, fine. Now, Don, before the others get here, exactly what kind of a raise do you think I ought to give you next season? Well, here's the situation, Jack. You've been getting a lot of laughs at the expense of my being fat. Uh-huh. And this year my weekly salary has been at the rate of two dollars a pound. Oh. So I think it's only fair that next year I ought to get three dollars a pound. Three bucks a pound, eh? Don, I can get Blue Ribbon grade A Kansas City beef cheaper than that. Anyway, uh, Don, the raise I offered you was as high as I can go. Now, what do you say? Well, I can't decide right now, Jack. I'll have to talk it over with the little woman. Oh, you and the little woman? Haven't you got a mind of your own? Yes, but I respect my wife's opinion and I'm very devoted to her. Oh, you are. After all, I'm home with her every day except Sunday. Well, I can fix that, too. Now, look, Don, I've been very fair about this whole thing. And I think that... Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. What are you talking about? Oh, Don isn't satisfied with his new contract for next season. He isn't? No. Oh, my goodness. After all you've done for him... Well, that's the way it goes, Mary. There isn't much gratitude in this business. Why, Don Wilson, you ought to be... Never mind, Mary. Thanks just the same. By the way, have you read your new contract? Yeah. What are you trying to do? Bring back slavery? Oh, so I'm going to have trouble with you, too. What's the matter with your contract? Well, I'm getting paid to rehearse on Saturday and do this program on Sunday. Well... But if you think I'm going to mend your socks the rest of the week, you're crazy. Well, you're getting paid on the basis of a full week. Anyway, I can't mend my own socks. I don't know anything about sewing. You don't know anything about sewing? No, I don't. I hate to race you making a soup, brother. Oh, for Pete's sake, I maybe made a half a dozen suits when vaudeville started to slip. And that was so long ago, I've forgotten all about it. Go on, you could thread a needle with your toes. Oh, stop, will ya? I was never a real tailor, so forget about it. Say, Don... Sleeve 32! Sleeve 32! Now, cut that out! Listen, Mary, I want you to stop kidding about me being a real tailor. I'm not a real tailor. Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of, Jack. If you made that suit you're wearing now, you're an excellent craftsman. This suit? Oh, it's a lovely fit, Don, but I didn't make it. A fellow named Marino makes all my clothes. Marino? Yes, you ought to try it sometime. Hiya, Jackson! Boy, are you lucky I made the broadcast tonight. Oh, hello, Phil. Well, that audience wouldn't let me off the stage at the Fairmont. Oh, you're still there, eh? Say, Phil, are you doing the same gags you did last week? No, Mary, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not doing the same gags you did last week. No, Mary, everything new, all fresh material. I can imagine. No kidding, Jackson. You remember that bit last week we did where my guitar player pulled the gag and I hit him in the face with a blueberry pie? Yeah? This week's strawberry shortcake. Well, that's a switch. It's a little more subtle, Phil, but I imagine the audience gets it. So you hit Frankie with a strawberry shortcake, eh? Yeah, but I had to take out the strawberries. He's allergic to them. Yeah, you know he breaks out in a rash all the time. Phil, you only came in here two minutes ago and you've already set this program back 50 years. Now, before we go back another generation, how about playing a number? Okay, Jackson, what would you like to hear? Glenn Miller, but I'm stuck with you. Go ahead. Now, go ahead, play anything. Hold it. Come in. Telegram for Jack Benny. Take it, Mary. Wait a minute, bud. Here's a dime for you. Oh, darn it. Now I have to store that hole in my pocket. I'd love to have his head for my rock garden. Who's the wire from, Mary? Oh, look, Jack, it's from Dennis Day. From Dennis? Yeah, it says, I'm out in the hall. We'll be in soon, regardless. Well, isn't he a thoughtful little dodo? Play, Phil. I'd like to know. And his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our feature... Hey, Jackson, are you in a good mood tonight? Why? What's on your mind, Phil? Well, I want to talk to you about that new contract you set me. My lawyers don't like it. Your lawyers? Who are they? McDermott, McMillan, McFadden and Fink. It's a nice firm. Well, Phil, just what is it your lawyers object to in the contract? Well, they don't like that clause. It says I've got to get the bed Saturday nights before 3 a.m. Well, it's for your own good, Phil. After all, we've got a program to do on Sunday, and I want you to look bright and fresh. I know, but if I lose those bags under my eyes, I ain't got no character. Oh, I'm sorry, Phil, but that clause stands. You'll have to be in bed by 3 a.m. Okay, okay, but you won't be able to call me quits no more. Now, I'll just have to take that chance. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I started to announce, for our feature attraction this evening, the Benny, if you like us, tell your friends, even though you lose them, players, will present an original detective thriller entitled Murder at the Movies, or No Croaking on the Main Floor. Now, in this gripping drama, Don Wilson will be Sergeant of Police and I will be the captain. We knew that. You always have to have the star part. Well... Yeah, Jack, why can't I be the captain? Because you're too soft, Don, too sympathetic. Now, you've got to be a tough and callous and hard-boiled like I am. Look who's hard-boiled. When the quiz kids left town last week, you cried like a baby. Well, I did feel pretty bad at the station, especially when little Gerard put his arms around my neck and kissed me. That really made me cry. Well, I didn't mind that, but when you got down on your knee and sang, of course, a sunny boy, I could have kicked you. As if you didn't, sister. Anyway, getting back to our play, I'm going to be the captain. Now, let's see. Oh, Mr. Benny, did you get my telegram? Yes, but what a silly thing to do, Dennis. You're only out in the hall. Why send a telegram? Why, am I too young? No, but a telegram. You were right outside here. Why didn't you open the door and yell in? That's old-fashioned. Old-fashioned? You're the kind of a guy that said the automobile wouldn't be practical. What? You better wake up, Bob. What the heck are you talking about? Silly thing. Now, settle down. As long as you're here, kid, we're casting our play. We're doing murder at the movies, and you're going to be the ticket taker. You mean the guy that takes tickets? No, the guy that shovels coal in the basement. The guy that takes tickets. And, Mary, you're going to be the girl in the box office, the one that sells tickets. Okay, give me a stick of gum and let's get going. Here you are. Here's your penny. Thank you. Now, this play, ladies and gentlemen, will go on immediately after a song by our young tenors. Are you ready, Dennis? Yes, sir. Say, Dennis, I like that new suit you're wearing. Who made it for you? Marino and Benny. All right, Dennis, go ahead with your song. Why, Jack Benny, I thought you weren't making suits anymore. Marino makes them. I'm just the outside man. That's all. Now, go ahead, Dennis. I'll take it. Hello? Oh, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. All right, Rochester, what do you want? I've been listening to the program, boss, and it occurred to me that we haven't discussed my contract yet. Well, Rochester, you've been working in my house now for four years, and I feel there's no necessity for a written contract. Everything is perfectly clear. We have what is known as a verbal agreement. That means we have a mutual understanding. Why put it on paper? The amount of money involved is too small. That's what I mean. Let's get it up. Never mind. Now, believe me, Rochester, there's no necessity for a written contract. But my attorneys advised it whereas hands are with. Your attorneys, who are they? Sambo, Tambo, Sugarfoot, and Smite. Well, tell Sambo, Tambo, Sugarfoot, and Smite to get in touch with McDermott, Macmillan, McFadden, and Fink. Let them handle it. That's the same firm they got a branch on Central Avenue. Well, anyway, Rochester, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm giving you, I'm giving you a substantial raise next year. Substantial? Yes. You know what the word means, don't you? I ain't literally done skeptical. Well, you'll get it, so don't let it bother you. Now, we got a play to do. Goodbye. Goodbye? Oh, say, boss. Now what? In this play tonight, you're going to be a detective, ain't you? Yes. Does that mean you're going to solve a murder? Yes, it does. Well, when you clear that up, find out what happened to the gas man. Forget about the gas man. Goodbye. Gas man, gas man. Carmichael didn't touch him. He's as gentle as a lamb. Sing that. Okay, Don, Dennis' voice... But they're still ribbing me about the one I did last time. Don, Dennis' voice was like a breath of spring. Oh, all right. Ladies and gentlemen, even though you run out of breath, why don't you spring down to your neighborhood grocer and ask him for a package of jello? Uh, keep going, Don. Remember, you've just run five miles. When you get there, save your groceries. I want a package of jello. Keep going. And, like all six delicious flavors, I don't care whether strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, or... Keep going. Come back here. I never saw such a guy. I rack my brains out trying to think of clever commercials the least he can do is read them. See, you think I wrote the corniest material in the world? Next to the corniest. Don't forget strawberry shortcake, Harris. Oh, yes. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our play, murder at the movie, or he took the count at the Paramount. Now, the scene opens... The Paramount! Am I the guy that's going to be killed? Phil, if you've been there two weeks and no one has taken a shot at you yet, you're safe. Now, the scene opens at police headquarters where Captain Benny is seated at his desk... Is seated at his desk. Curtain. Music. Now, listen, Wilson, things are going from bad to worse. The Chief just phoned, said we'd better clean up the crooks in this district or else. Oh, we're doing all right. Doing all right. You were on duty in Westlake Park last night. You let somebody seal a canoe. Well, what are you worried about, Cap? I was in it with my girl. And another thing, you're a fine-looking policeman. Where's your bag? Down here, my suspender's broke. Well, put her back where it belongs. They'll fall down! Let them fall! Now, listen, Wilson, I want action around here. Action! I'm going to fill this jail if I have to put in jukeboxes. That's what. I'll take it. Hello, police headquarters. Captain Benny speaking. Hello, this is Bainey Livingston, cast here at the Paramount Theater. Oh, hello, Mamie. How's Trich? Fine, she just had pups. Now, don't mean now. What'd you call me up for? Better get over here right away, Cap. A fellow was murdered right in front of my box office. He was cute. Murder day. How do you know he's dead? He doesn't wink back. I see. Well, tell me, when did this murder happen? About three hours ago. Three hours ago? Why didn't you call me then? I was reading a movie magazine. Oh, is there a picture of me in it? Yes, and you look worse than a guy that's laying here. I doubt that. Well, hold everything, Mamie. We'll be right over. Come on, Sarge. Your murder's been committed in front of the Paramount. Let's go. Okay, the squad car's right out in front. Good. Pull up your pants. Yes, sir. New Drive, Wilson. And we'll find the murderer. Or my name ain't... Forgot to mention those easy payments. Step on it, Sarge. Look at that marquee. Bing Crossy and Bob Hope and the road to Zanzibar. And Phil Harris on the road to Annie Bar. Stand back, everybody. There's the body, Cap. Guy's dead all right. Yeah. You get a load of that suit he's wearing. His tailoring is awful. That sleeve is enhanced. It was done with a machine. Wonder who made it, Cap. I'll find out. Let's see the label. Well, I'll be darned. Who made it? The German, McMillan, McFadden and Stink. Lawsuit and clothes. I was wondering what Stink was doing there. Now there's Mamie in the box office. I'll see what she knows about this crime. Hello, Mamie. Hello, Cap. I'm glad you got here. Now tell me, Mamie, how was this man murdered? He was shot through the little finger. Little finger? How could that kill him? He was scratching his head at the time. Well, you're a witness, Mamie. Tell me exactly what happened. Well, Cap, I was sitting here selling tickets when all of a sudden, how many please? One in the balcony. If you've got a man with you. I'm going to hold him. Come on, Mrs. All right, Mamie. Let's get going. I want the facts about this crime. Well, Cap, I was sitting here selling tickets when all of a sudden I heard a sound. Yes, yes. So I looked around and, how many please? The sticks. I want to lie down. All right, Mamie. A shot was fired. You look around and what happened? Where did the murderer go? He bought a ticket and went inside. That's all I wanted to know. Come on, Sarge. We'll go in and get that killer. Right behind you, Cap. Oh, no, you're not. Leave the way. There's the doorman. Hey, buddy, did a man come in here a few minutes ago with a gun in his hand? Yes, sir. He did. Was the gun smoking? Yes, sir. I made him sit in the lodges. You hear that? Come on, Wilson. Okay. And pull up your pants. Let's go inside. I'm sorry, Mr. But you fellas will have to have tickets. Tickets? We're the police and we're after a criminal. Here, look at our badges. They're very pretty, but you've got to have tickets. Oh, all right. Hey, Wilson, buy two tickets. Okay, Chef. Now, see here, buddy, you have no like to hold us up. I'm Captain Bennett. Got a good mind to give you a belt in the back. That's what I told Marina, but he wouldn't put one on. Well, he is stubborn. Now, look, I've got the tickets, Cap. Okay. Here you are, buddy. Oh, you're stubborn, please. Offer your pants, Wilson. Now, come on. The murderer must be upstairs. Follow me. Okay. Here are the lodges. Now, let's take it easy. We might corner him. Stubbs, please. Oh, here you are. I'm sorry, sir, but these tickets are for the main floor. Now, look here, buddy, we're the law. We're after a desperate criminal, and he's sitting in the lodges. Well, if he can afford it, can't you? All right. What do we owe you? That'll be 30 cents extra for two tickets. Here you are. Take a note of that, Wilson. Now, come on. We've got to find the murderer. Hey, look, the stage show is starting. Oh, yes. There's Phil Harris making his entrance. Hi, you folks. Make me know you're glad to see me. I guess you'll do some of those corny gags now. Come on, champ. We've got to find that murderer. You look around. I want to stay here a minute. Okay. You know, folks, the funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater. I stopped in a restaurant and said to the waiter, do you have frog legs? And he said, no, I'll always walk this way. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, listen to him laugh at that. Ain't that stuff terrible? How does he get away with it? You got me, mister. Anyway, folks, when I got through with the frog legs, I wanted some coffee. So I said to the waiter, give me a cup of coffee, half and half. So he'd bring in half of the cup and half of the saucer. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, brother. Isn't that awful? It sure is, buddy. And now, folks, we're going to play a little number of titles. Papa, get the hammer. There's a fly on baby's head. Holy moly. Hit it, boys. Oh, boy. I can't get over those gags. I wonder where Harris gets them. I know where he used to get them, but he ain't going to get them no more. What do you mean? I just bumped off the guy that wrote that stuff. What? Yeah, he's laying out in front of the theater right now. Oh, so you're the murderer? Well, I'm for police headquarters. I'm sorry, but I'll have to arrest you. OK, Cap, let's go. Not right now. I want to stay here and listen to the rest of Harris's act. Well, I can't stand this anymore. I'm going over to jail and wait for you. OK, just tell them who you are, and they'll act you in. Thanks. So long, Cap. So long. And you got nothing to worry about, mister. There ain't a jury in the world that'll convict you. See you in jail. In the past seven years, ladies and gentlemen, we've broadcast hundreds of jello recipes on this program. And during that time, many listeners have written in to ask us if these recipes are available in printed form. Well, the answer now is yes. Yes, you can now get these very same radio recipes gathered together for your convenience in one of the handiest, most attractive cookbooks ever printed. You'll find the best of these well recipes in the General Food's New Dessert Book, a big 48-page collection of the grandest desserts you can imagine. But don't think that's all, no sir. Not only does this handsomely illustrated book contain lots of luscious jello desserts, it also gives you ideas and directions for making all kinds of other tempting treats. 365 different recipes and suggestions and all. A new dessert for every day in the year. And it's a book that's really beautiful. It's a brightly decorated cover and it's rich, striking color photographs and paintings. But the only way to tell how good-looking it is is to get a copy. So send for yours now. Mail $0.10 in foreigner stamps with Don Wilkman, chair of General Food's Battle Creek Michigan. Remember, all you send is $0.10 in foreigner stamps. And the address again is Don Wilkman, chair of General Food's Battle Creek Michigan. We're a little late, so good night, folks. Who goes there? Private Frank Bingman. A fancy to get the pass with. Jello pudding. Don't you mean jello? No, I mean jello pudding. Jello puddings are not jellison desserts like their partner in pleasure, Jello. They're smooth, creamy puddings that you make with milk. And they're so rich and creamy and luscious that they simply melt in your mouth. How many flavors do these jello puddings have? Chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. And are they swell? Did you hear that, folks? Well, tomorrow when you have those new creamy jello puddings and see if we're not right. Pass, friend. This is the national broadcasting company.