 We're rolling we're rolling Dana Eagle, I just want you to you said a quarter fell out onto the rug Gary stocked how my daughter has perfect pitch And her name is Hannah Feldman and I can take a dime a penny and a quarter and drop it on A table and by the sound that it makes she can tell me Hannah Feldman Can tell me if it's a dime a quarter nickel or a penny That's what I was when I said Hannah fell I said I said that is the most attractive an unattractive trait in a human being It's kind of freakish. She's a savant. She's my change No, it's a Sephardic actually Guy Nicolucci is with us Steve Rosenfield Steve Scrovan This is a writer's round table. We originally were planning to have Meryl Marco here with us We weren't big enough for her. Well, I come a pig and we did an hour together. Her book is amazing I cannot recommend it enough and we started talking about writing for television And I wanted to bring you guys in but her take on it was just so Well, you know It's just a different experience and then to turn it into a round table I was it was gonna be diluted and Gary Stockdale's gonna sing a song for us very quickly June for a Can come in next week. She's the voice of Natasha Tweety Bird's mother Wow, Rocky and we also have Lorraine Newman. What do you think? That's a good show, right? It's a good show better than this show Are we why aren't we doing that show now? Let's go. Well, that's what I was trying to tell the audience. Are we doing a teaser for the next one? This one you may not be enjoying but next yeah, we got a show for you So what what should we do? That would be a fun thing to do Think about how are we gonna write for Tweety Bird? Now will says will Ryan from the Cactus County Cowboys you say that legally we're allowed To have her do sketches using The story it's parody fair use it is fair use parody But she might have a contract with say Warner Brothers where she can only do that voice for them You might want to ask her before she comes I think those voices must be copyrighted. I would see bird and all those those are Warner Brothers. Yeah I can't imagine If you were to say here, we're going to do a show about Tweety Bird I think they could get you if you're going to do the voice of Tweety Bird. I Don't think they can do it. Oh, you don't identify it as Tweety, but then it's that it then it satire I what remember we did a sketch with that ended with Parkie Pig saying even did that So we didn't we just didn't call him Parkie Pig, right? We just said oh, here's the pig I just want to say June is fond of quoting Bill Scott who was the Co-executive producer of Rockin Bowenkel and the head writer and the voice of Bowenkel. He said he said June remember Someone else may own the characters, but you own your own voices. You own your voices. Wow, okay Now what did Jay Ward say because he was the real owner he was in the hospital There's one of the little rule on it, too. Yes, they will come after you if the thing you're doing is making any money Ah We'll be safe for years to come we've out we've outfoxed them Or how about good we don't have anything they want Okay, we will talk about that's good shows that we're getting interesting shows great writing great performers Steve Scrovan is not only a fantastic comedy writer But the director of an unreasonable man That's correct the doc. That's right Dana Eagle. He directed the documentary about Ralph Nader Which is a great documentary and along with Henriette Mantel. That's correct And she's gonna get Ralph to come do the show and hopefully some sketches with us He's a funny guy. I saw him on SNL. That's right. It's certainly not live. Yeah, but the airbag didn't deploy That's right Equipped him with an airbag and it was supposed to deploy when Lorraine Newman hugged him You can ask her about that. Mm-hmm about doing a sketch with Ralph Nader I can't imagine my airbag not deploying He can't imagine my airbag Words can be two different things You're also one of the chairman of the boards or what are you I'm Frank Sinatra. Yes You're I'm on the board of public citizen, which is the group that Ralph started in 1971 and then hasn't been involved with formally for 30 years, but in doing the movie I met a lot of these people I met Sid Wolfe and Joan Claybrook and Rob Weissman who's now the current president and interviewed them and that's my punishment for doing the movie was to be asked to be on the board and so that's What I've been doing I've been on the board for about five years now and I've been trying to in Help them raise money and do their work and you introduce me to Barbara and right I introduce you to your hero Barbara and right who is also on the board. Yeah, and At the at the benefit the stand up for Main Street in June And we're doing another one of those in April with me and you are gonna be my co-host Is Jimmy Dore gonna be there Jimmy Dore could be here. I've talked to him yet Yeah, if we can figure out three and we can do three hosts speaking of Jimmy Dore Steve Rosenfield you're on the Jimmy Dore show I'm on the show every other week. How's that work? They rotate me out me and Robert. Yes, Amara. Yeah, it's been fun I'm writing for him and Performing on his monthly shows that he does at Flappers, but this is more fun Just say yes, yes, you get treated better here You can I like them in different ways, you know, it's hard to compare apples but apples and lousy shows You have to compare you have a good personality But he's prettier in sex. Yes. Okay, and guy Nicolucci. Hello, sir comedy writer extraordinaire Well, half right you have to talk closer to the microphone half right you've written for Conan and John Stewart and Among other sins and the roasts. You're a great comedy writer. So let's talk about comedy writing All right, but maybe Gary Stockdale wants to sing a song first But why don't we get why don't we get rolling on How great it is to be a comedy writer and then we'll stop and have a song and then Meryl Marco Who is a novelist and writes essays and pieces and she has a great book out that a collection of her essays, you know There's there's a lot Common contentious is the name of the book cool common contentious. Yes. Is that what you were looking for? Yes Thank you. You did not check. You should have just asked but had the name cool common contentious I'm reading and it's really a great read. Have you picked it up yet? I have not but great But I sort of seen her interview and talked about so it sounds good Meryl worked in television She worked for the letter created the Letterman show who worked with Michael Moore and sitcoms and stuff like that And she describes the writing room and the interview I did with her. Everybody comes to work in a state of rage Because they're all pitching to one guy and he it's like baby birds in the nest looking for the worm Everybody's chirping and you've got to get on the same frequency as the showrunner So you sort of that that's my metaphor and then you know if you get a Joke in do you get a worm? I don't come in a state of rage. I leave in a state of rage I I leave in a state of rejection and dejection. I'm usually fired in a state of rage And New York is does it it to me? It doesn't make sense The the system for writing for television now does not make sense What about the system? It's an old model. It's the old Sid Caesar model where I'm the alpha male I'm gonna sit at the head of the table and I'm going to kill your babies You're gonna get you're gonna put babies in front of me and I'm gonna kill 99.9% of them and that will make me feel better about myself because I can't get it up for my wife And at the time who do you mean specifically? whose wife yes, and at the time I think in the 50s when there were three networks you could afford to have a writing staff sitting around Wasting their time and wasting their efforts. I think you get it's the 21st century the idea now of having All these highly paid writers spending 15 hours in a room Getting their ideas destroyed because some guy Is either too young to figure out what's funny Or too old to get it up for his wife and wants to punish these comedy writers by making them feel like Lesser men. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Who have you worked for? Because He started on the Arthur Godfrey hour well Yeah, cuz I've been I've been lucky on some not on all the shows I've worked on but some of them, you know that Well, you work not you had you had the everybody loves Raymond job He worked for Phil rose. Yes, and that's like the that's still you still get your ideas rejected because there have to be decisions made but I have not the level of Vitria, you know that he's the heroin dealer Phil Rosenfall is the guy you meet and He gets you hooked to the comedy right because he's a nice guy and you think oh The all comedy rooms must know but I've but but you but he's still rejecting you you're not talking about You're talking about the manner of the rejection It's gonna be 99% rejection no matter what because you have 10 people in a room pitching lines And you can only use one of them, right? So there's gonna be rejection what you're describing is something even even the last show that I was on Which I got off of And it wasn't actually a alpha male. It was an alpha female and She was very nice about rejecting but it was still a rejection So I have not encountered so much the the the angry. I'm going to reject you because I have a small penis thing Maybe you're a good writer. Maybe you don't have to look for excuses like some of us I am a little bit more well-adjusted than the average writer Maybe you're good. Maybe you have talent. Maybe some of us get over our heads and I'm not sure about the talent, but the I will claim I'm pretty well-adjusted. Well, my thing is and it is all rejection, but You know the writing the actual writing is the fun part, you know to actually create something that makes you in your head you titter and go aha, I'm funny and And I think I stole this idea from Jack Lemon who says they don't pay me to act They pay me to sit around and wait in deal with all the BS and the acting I do for free and the way I look at it They're paying me to listen to their BS and hang around and I'm writing the jokes for me Right. Yes, that when you have to share it with something or somebody or the world That's when it, you know, it's all perfect in your head and everybody's laughing at the same time and it's it's great And that's that's the best time When you've got it when say, you know, if you're writing a script and you're off on the script and it's all yours and everybody's put There input in but now you have to form it. That's the most fun part And then you have to bring it back into the room and get it ripped to shreds whether it's ripped to shreds in a nice way in a kind way or ripped to shreds in a more vitriolic way it's still ripped to shreds and You've got to be able to handle that Everybody loves Raymond is the gold standard of sitcoms. So I'm not gonna ask you about that. Okay, because that makes me feel less than I Don't need to hear about your success Not a very still not a profitable Emmy award-winning show you now syndicated in Europe Yes, walking to any you don't want to hear about the fact I could buy each and every one of you No, that had you killed legally brings no joy to me But let's say you're on a lousy sitcom. Yes, okay. Okay. I won't ask you for any names. I have been okay And you weren't happy there. Yeah, and you were underpaid and underappreciated And you felt lousy right now. I don't know about the underpaid part, but okay Just make me Give me some I'm not gonna get you know, I haven't chosen what I'm gonna give okay So when you're on a lousy television show, yes, you hand in a first draft. Yes, and then the network says Change it network doesn't say it at that point your first draft Network doesn't see if I'm writing a pilot that'll that might have you're on you're on Four guys in the pair of teeth Sharing two teeth Well, first of all, yeah, I gotta make a note of that one make the teeth like well, let me ask my question Okay, you're we were gonna say I mean I said you don't hand a first draft to the network, right? Okay, so you're on staff. Yeah, they assign a script to you. Yes the head writer. Yes, you write you spend a Week writing the greatest script Greatest first draft. Yes in my head in your head But the head writer has to justify his paycheck and the writing staff So it gets rewritten and rewritten and then it gets passed through the sieve of the actors and the Executives and by the time it gets on the air everybody's been fixing the script. Yes What do you think would be better if they just took your your first draft and maybe punched up a couple of jokes or Let it go through the sausage making factory Well, I mean that all depends on the script the answer is if they left your script along the answer it Well, that's not the answer. That's the you don't know what you're talking about. It is not the answer It is not the although, you know, there was a term that we used on one show when sometimes you'd go back to The head writer would say what was in the original draft there this line and that was called the writer's superior script What was in the writer's superior So that happens and You have to understand here's the thing you are there to serve this the showrunner And so everything ultimately is their vision because it's their responsibility So you are it's it's not your piece of Right you are Sublimating your own vision for the vision of the showrunner and how well you're able to do that, right? Determines how long you will thrive, right? So you can't go in with the sense the same sense of ownership, right? If you're not the showrunner or if it's not, you know I can see if you're writing a sketch and you're you know, it's your own thing And it doesn't go through the sausage machine or or does and whatever but you have more sense of ownership I've had scripts on the air where I I've had Where other people have had more lines than I have ultimately and vice versa where I've had more lines and somebody else's script than they did but their name is on it the when you're doing 2022 episodes a year you have these big writing staffs because that's a lot of material to produce in a year and so you have to have these big writing staffs and I don't see the People that I've worked with The showrunners have been a varying talent But I have an encounter that they're doing it because they need to prove that they are better than you and all of that It's it's either they can be different levels of competence. I think you're answering this question to prove it You're better than I am He doesn't need is better Maybe I filter everything Everybody trying to prove they're better than can I can I I'm very sick man. We agree with that. That is the stick But can I I've only had I don't like your tone of what you're trying to prove right now That you can get it up for my wife No, man could do Wow, you better cut this out. It's it will never make me any more zitty But I've only had one Equivalent showrunner who is a guy who had absolutely no talent A miserable nasty human being who did bring the penis factor into this. I've had that once Wow, he can read minds. We'll bleep that. Thank you. I Was I would get a laugh. Yeah, well it did for me and fear but That is the only time I mean and actively untell if the human being brings that to the table I've been fortunate. I've only had that once in my career, right? I don't get me wrong David. It hurts Every time they you know, you're sitting there and and they're going through the script your script and it's like Do you see what I have here? Did anybody bother there to read this or or if you change that you don't understand? Three pages later. That's gonna screw that and you say goodbye to the the bit You know is gonna have to go three pages later because they just killed the Set up Steve can I interrupt because I just actually was in a bar last night Heard a good story about a guy who worked on the sin bad sitcom Yeah, and he says we'd go down to rehearsal and sin bad would say hey guys put away your scripts We've thought of something delicious much better than what you wrote Sin bad is a compound word But and the guy was talking to said and it's like and sin bad would have come up with some quip That basically gave away a plot point that he wouldn't have known from three pages later Right, and you had to explain to him that did it and he wouldn't listen so you had to run up and rewrite the script Well, that's I've had the experience with actors where they you know They just don't have the head the actors are paid to be a tree. They're not paid to be see the forest and so you Have to explain to them When they want to get involved and it's it's rare, but there are those those people and But they just don't have the head for that so they don't understand that if you pull this string then this affects everything and it's They don't see that they just see Blah blah blah blah blah my line blah blah blah blah my line Why were sitcoms written by two guys in the 60s? Who were those two guys? They Jerry Belson and Gary Marshall wrote that couple basically, right? Yeah, they didn't need like 26 guys I think it's great that they're hiring all these people. I just just wonder about the you know I don't know the facts that I know Larry Gilbert wrote a lot of the mashes. Yeah alone But you know, I don't know somehow their production schedule allowed that, you know Aaron Sorkin tried to write everything himself Larry David tried to write everything himself But he still needed people to feed him ideas and And I think the Gary Marshes would buy freelance ideas You know, I don't know. I don't think they generated all the ideas themselves and they may have been rewriting and I don't know I don't think they only did it themselves. I would have to Get some verification on that too because it's a it's an enormous job and just Generating the ideas like you say Writing the scripts in certain ways is easier when you know your show and you know your characters and the voices but getting the ideas That work and have good beginning middle and end. That's the hard part with a classic story about you I was watching there's a classic story about yes Steve will you shut up, please? Dominating the entire panel here. Okay. I was watching fascinated with all you idiots Boy, I don't know which diva hate more You're all filled with hate. I was watching the PBS and there's a special about prime time legends and obviously everybody loves Raymond He's included in it. Yes, everyone does Raymond is but I'm not mean and they tell the story about they were out of ideas Oh, oh the story Phil. I think was probably telling the story About we would all of our ideas on that show Came from real life who came from some Excuse me some conflict or some event that happened and then we would fit it into the show and expand on it or whatever and And you know my my joke about that is my our wives and other than spouses Got used to things being used of their lives And so I'd be in an argument with my wife and she would see my eyes sort of go into the corner of the room In the middle of the argument and she go this is not for the show This is not for the show and Then I explained to her how much they'd pay for each episode And she go, okay, this is for the show And sometimes we'd extend the argument artificially just to get a second act So yeah, and and actually there's even a funnier story that Lou Schneider tells where this is later in the run of the show and Excuse me for one thing, but that is a true story That is absolutely true that you and your wife fought to extend it to the second act Yeah, well in a yeah in a manner I can see I mean I can see how That you know when your wife that it becomes it starts pitching on the argument You know, she's trained well now because she's she sees that the Fighting is acting when you're when you're fighting with your wife. It is like an improv exercise so I can see It's always the same script with me Still waiting for the happy ending I always I'm wrong. No, the first rule of improv is the same rule of fighting with my wife always say yes And that's what pisses her off because she knows you're patronizing But Lou tells the story now this is later in the run He had a great writing like Lou Schneider I love his very fight it so do I and he should come by he shall bring him by He's in the Palisades, so I don't know if he's ever been a great guy and that writing room was a fun writing room You know what if you want to do a show sometime I'll bring who's ever around and we'll do we'll tell stories like we did we used to do show We used to theater show and I hated the fact that you guys were so happy and successful Yeah, so that would be that would be called. Let's torture David Feldman. Excellent. I'm I'm all for look how happy We were on a successful sitcom. Yes, but can I tell the story? Sure. Go ahead. Is it gonna make me miserable? No, no, it'll make you laugh. Okay By now but six seas six seas six the wives are hip to the whole if something goes wrong It could be a story so there's always a silver lining and he's on a vacation with his family and it's a ski vacation and They're coming back from the day of skiing and they're going up the elevator with all their equipment and Lou drops his keys and it falls into the the crack in the elevator floor and His wife is holding the door as it keeps trying to shut while he's trying to fish the keys out of these Crack and He can't get them out and he's cursing and his wife who's hip to now. Okay bad things can be stories says to Lou Well, you know think of it this way look it could be an episode and because no no Oh Ray already lost his Great We already did that show. This is just some shitty that happened That's that's like the Mel Bricks sketch when Mel Bricks Yeah, where he's walking down the street to Nuns pass go in it and he Says the two knows we just cut that sketch Which you worked on Conan for all those years many years and in the same building as Mel Brooks where they did your show shows and I always whenever I did stand up on Conan I always thought of that joke because you'd go do Conan and there would be nuns walking around There'd be Napoleon walking around Pumas and and so you then you go out into the the street and everybody looks like they're in some sketch Yeah, yeah, I used to work at the whole subtext of that story was that I used to do stand up on Conan go ahead Very talented man David. Thank you. How's he taking finish that thought I used to work I did a show at Paramount and they do the stars Go ahead It's always about you You've opened stigmata on David's hands. Really? Everybody's love's raining in Paramount in the same conversation That show lasted 20 episodes And they do the Star Trek Episodes there and so you walk and buy the lunch and there'd be a Klingon Folding chair reading variety In Klingon or English I Think it was the Klingon version. Are you smoking a cigarette? I can see how people That's why it's so dangerous because if you're in your 20s and you see that you decide This is all I ever want to experience for the rest of my life I want to I'll do whatever it takes to just be on this lot So I can see that because it's it's intoxicating. Yeah, and but it's dangerous because it's not real and it's Not family and it's not friends. It's a factory and You get sucked into it emotionally. I wish You think this is I will give up and so I will give up everything I will give up my family my everything I my morals just so I can be part of this. I Don't think I know you anymore You better immoral. I've seen your family. Yeah, not much of a trade I sold my soul So we're actually in hell this is what hell is Radio show the podcast the never-end turns out the blue book value on my soul 64 rambler you can change for a dollar is my question. Yeah, it is fun writing for television You worked on what show I my first job in television was Roseanne Okay, and but that there's stories about Roseanne where that was a factory so I can see where your bitterness comes from then I went to Dennis Miller again. Okay. Yeah, you're sweet man. Yeah, and then a couple of you know I did ten years with Dennis five years with Bill Maher That's you've hit the trifecta and then I went to John Stewart turned out to be worse than Dennis and Bill Maher combined. You know what I've I'm not gonna edit this before you respond to them. Well, no John was friend of mine. He he was I love John He is a great human being. I've not heard these stories about him. I but you've heard the rumor you've heard people talk I've heard some guys talk. Yes. Yeah, he's not good to his writers That's that's I'm very disappointed near that and Dana Eagle said something you said something interesting last night about Why you think a lot of these stand-up comics who hire writers are bad Well, I have a I have a friend that came up because I have a friend that ghost writes on Films and it never occurred to me before that all these guys that you know churn out films You know year after year, of course, they can't do that on their own And and so things get kind of tight between them. So Woody Allen's got a ghost writer I don't know about And and so I guess I just and I have lots of friends that write on on these kinds of shows here Just as angry is and why is that because I think there's a certain amount of shame for the host Who's the comedian and you know getting all the accolades and their name is even though there's a list of writers It's still then that's getting the credit and so there's kind of a lot of shame associated But I just got this huge laugh. They feel like a fraud. They feel like a fraud, right? That yeah There's a logic to that and they would rather use weaker material Then use great material except again. I've worked with Ray Romano one of the most decent people on the planet and shares credit gives Jerry Seinfeld the same way Let other people have funny lines Because they're smart enough to know right that they don't have to do all the heavy lifting if they surround themselves by good people and in the beginning it was hard for Ray to kind of Have other people write for him because what you come up as a stand-up You spend all this time Developing your own persona and your own voice and then a bunch of people you've never met are gonna start writing for you That's an odd thing and so the first year or so. He you know, it was tough for him to adjust to that But once you know, you spend enough time together and you kind of get in sync There couldn't have been a more generous Guy I mean he still gave us a hard time about the writing about the But it was it was never personal. It was always about the product and and and you know, let's let's make it good And and I wouldn't say this this way He actually said one thing that made us all laugh. I think it was the second season where somebody written in a Script that the ray drinks a cup of coffee now Ray's not a coffee drinker But his his whole act is is based on personal stuff that he really does and he's But I don't drink coffee You know and feels like he's wired all the time I feel saying, you know, but you know for this bit Let's just say, you know, you drink, you know, and we for half hour We're talking about whether he should do this bit because he has to drink coffee and finally he just Relented and gave in he was all right. I guess eventually I knew I was gonna have to act That's where sin bad is different. He never gave in and learned to act well, and that's why sin bad is not Still getting checks Let's have mr. Gary Stockdale who's with us Your new CD is out What is the name of your it's called sure of myself Which for baby boomers is spelled like thank you for letting me be myself, which was all I should take the hat off Hey, I had that 45. It's a great slide family's living in a trailer now. Is he really oh, yeah On the street. They just did an article about him like many comedy writers. I think wow slide from and the family stone Yeah, Sylvester is living in a trailer living in a in an RV and in an RV that was given to him donated to him And he he just is on the street What happened to the royalties and all his nose I think a lot of drugs a lot of selling them to get drugs a lot of craziness and insanity and and For most people show business totally smooth sailing, but he had his own he had his own problems Do I can't Steve scroll in have told me stories like that? Are we by the way, are we in a pledge drive right now? We're raising money for slice stone Steve showed up on time to every gig you never knew whether whether sly You come in you have a song you have a wonderful story a heartwarming Christmas tale about sly from living in an RV Something I'm gonna drive home and I'll be purring and feeling good about it. Steve sgrovan comes in No, we all loved each other on Raymond until Rose fall is the greatest showrunner in the world We we encountered this dude There's a comic very funny guy named Dave phlebot and there is there was an article that came out in the the writer's guild magazine called written by He reads that well This guy read it and you know it was one of those articles about and it was same complaint But how I may love each other. They don't have And Dave phlebot says Lou Schneider calls them up and Dave's floor Oh, it's Lou Schneider from everybody's loves Raymond. We're all the desks are made of chocolate Ah That's show we're the brother All the other comedy writers feel like the brother and everybody loves that's right. That's right That's what you've done to it. Did you ever see the video micro made for Phil Rosenthal's birthday like ten years ago at the roast Yeah, right in which elves came in you guys all left at six and elves came in and That's right, and they wanted co-writing credit. Yes. Oh, that's a great job You know that I'm not going to tell it around the room of comedy writers That's a great. Do you know that I don't think I don't know that you Tell the joke your song. Well every comedy writer who's a friend of mine will go stock deals gonna tell a joke stop him Let's let's well eight now the one thing that that this feeds into is is as comedy writers you have to collaborate And so this is a song about collaboration Oh, I'm sorry You are a terrible host fluid because I'm sorry because you're talking about my mother was French So during World War two she turned in a lot of Jewish business. So what you're talking about? There'll be a short quiz later. That's what they told me when they told me when I was told that comedy writing was about collaboration Having yes background that I have where my mother was sure French who turned in all the World everyone loves Vichy. She was yeah Everyone loves Patan. So I showed up in my first Writing gig and just started turning in all the Jewish writers because they said it was about collaboration. I think Apparently I was wrong. I can't understand why anybody would rewrite you There's another kind of writer than a Jewish writer That's a myth. They're all Irish Catholic two Italians at the table. Are you Italian? Yeah, and what's the other half? Czechoslovakia. I'm sorry, which means that every December 7th He's half Italian and half Czechoslovakian this means that there is no good punchline for that Every every September 1st. I invade the Sudeten land and surrender. I don't know what He's a chop as a Canceled check Joe. Yes Hi David, let Gary do his son. No, this is the first thing he was doing richer it Of stairway to heaven. All right. Well, hang on it is why he's part Czechoslovak, which doesn't exist anymore So I did when I was born No, actually literally literally my grandmother was Czech and my grandfather was Slovak so Sgrovan is actually is Slovak and Probably in the old country was called Sgrovan Hang on and so private Eddie Slovak was the last American executed for a desertion. Yes, just putting that on come on He's part Czech and he's part Italian You got something for this He's let's see he's I already did he invades the Sudeten land and then surrenders. He's there's a surround He doesn't know who to surrender to I don't know. Yeah something Half-check. Oh, I know have done. Yeah hates Jews Yeah, but what's the joke? Yeah, that's true, but you were gonna say a joke that was the joke. Oh, I thought you were just stating a fact. Oh Wait a second The Is silent like omerita Check Gary, will you please do this? Gary please World-class comedy writers in this room and you're part Czech and part Italian and there's no joke and there's no joke We I have a friend who's half Japanese and half black every December 70 attacks Pearl Bailey I have a friend who's half Japanese and has a severe stigmatism every December 70 attacks Pearl vision What is the stereotype of that checks I I don't think there was one and I'll tell you a short story about when I was in high school. I went to this Catholic Prep school where they did hazing and I want the seniors would haze the freshman and What are you laughing at? He's thinking of Texas and and So they put the all the seniors in a little theater and all the first man to go up on stage and the seniors would just So what's your name and then they'd mock their name? What's your your nationality? They mocked the nationality and you know poor guys were Italian They had a giddy the guys were Irish. They had this black. They had this and I had a senior Everybody was assigned a senior and this guy was a nice guy And he says what before I go up to take this abuse. He goes what's your what's your nationality? And I would will half Italian and half trickles of hockey and he thinks for a second goes Say chuckles of hockey because he knew the MOOCs wouldn't have anything If I said Italian they'd have all the Italian stuff but checkers of hockey and they put over a Yeah, what there is no well, it's a made-up country. I mean it's through it was like three different countries Yeah, put together at the end of World War one, you know Slovenia The Czech Republic and well it was all part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. It's Bohemia. It's the food is great It's a mix of German Italian and Hungarian food, you know, and there's probably a punchline there But I don't have it. Yeah A lot of sauerkraut and dumplings at my grandmother's house, but yeah, there's no Nothing, you know, it looks like it all I know is my father said, you know, they He grew up next to the Polish neighborhood and they would just make fun of the pole. They would do the Pollock jokes So I don't think there's anything check. There's such a difference in the DNA between Yeah, yeah one end of a chromosome So was Gary gonna do a song Gary who good question me a song about My English Irish French and German. It's all it's all white people. I have no melanin at all. I had to marry and do it You married Pearl Bailey And is that a stopwatch at the end of your guitar or am I just glad It's a tuner actually a tuner okay singing a Steve Half-Japanese and half-Chinese every December 7th. She attacks Pearl Buck Now I know what you were laughing about before All right, so Gary hi, hi, this is a song about collaboration something you writers are only to I Have a friend half-Japanese wait a minute. I got half-Japanese Half-Northern Californian. Oh, this is nobody's gonna get this Every December 7th attacks John Steinbeck Monterey grapes of red you wrote the pearl Can anyone get us the pearl Mesta is there a way just asking my it's like the Kevin Bacon game my Sisters half-Japanese and half porn star every December 7th. She asked for a pearl necklace Pearl because that's yes. Yeah, we're being rude to you. No I'm laughing like a monkey. Okay, my eye So you were saying that there was a set up aberration. There was a set up. I began about 20 minutes ago That was by collaborations on the writers are familiar with and have to endure so Here it is. It goes something like this Had my dreams and aspirations I Thought you'd back me all the way Each time I tried to tell you all my best laid plans You always had something to say If it wasn't for you, I could be anything if it wasn't for you have a right to your opinion It might be Sometimes I think that I should go if it wasn't for you if it wasn't for Part Czechoslovakian yes instead of pasta primavera they would cook pasta Prague spring Because Primavera what is Primavera? What is Primavera main? Spring so something so so if it was if you're part By the way, that was beautiful. I you know what? I think you need to Obviously you were not listening to the song Primavera means spring right and there was a Prague spring in 68 I love explaining jokes, but if you're in Czechoslovakia. Yes, so if you're Italian and Czechoslovakian And we're winding down a pasta Prague spring. You know what? This is not even my show and I'm gonna fire you And that's a wrap Gary Stockville. That was beautiful. What's the name of your CD? Oh Thank you. Sure of myself spilled my CEELF just to confuse people Great. Thanks guys. Thank you. Thank you