 Hey Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video. Thank you all so much for the love and support that you've given us, enabling us to make yet another exploration into everyday psychology. So, let's begin. Do you often play the blame game with yourself? Is shame your constant companion? Shame can be an isolating and lonely experience. Carrying shame deep down can affect you in many harmful ways and often hold you back from your true potential. Feeling ashamed is the most common trigger for blaming yourself. But do you recall the remedy Uncle Iroh recommended for it in Avatar, The Last Airbender? More on that later. Blaming yourself holds you back from your true potential. Yet, more often than not, you end up carrying blames that aren't yours to carry. Here are nine things you shouldn't be ashamed of. 1. A failure. Are you constantly pressured to achieve your goals in the workplace, school, and many other environments? Do you feel like the end result is all that matters and if you don't achieve the goal, you've failed? This perceived failure can make you feel ashamed and hurt, but the end goal isn't the only thing that matters. Just because you might not have reached the goal of getting a hundred on a test or a big promotion doesn't mean you're a failure. Whatever the reason, you still worked hard, tried your best, and made good progress. After all, the experience you gained is just as, if not more important, than the end goal itself. 2. A rejection. Did you ever have to face a workplace or romantic rejection? Did you find yourself asking, what did I do wrong, or was I not good enough? Being rejected is almost always a hard experience. It can make you feel unworthy and undeserving of someone or something, but rejection isn't your fault in a lot of ways. There are outside factors involved, such as someone else's feelings or other applicants that have got nothing to do with you. When it comes down to it, blaming your own self for someone else's decision just doesn't make sense. Putting yourself out there takes a lot of courage and is an accomplishment in and of itself to be proud of. 3. Not living up to the standards of others. Is fulfilling family expectations a mantra of yours? Do you strive to live up to the many standards out there, from family and friends to media and society? Having to fulfill everyone's ideals and expectations can make you feel pressured, especially when you don't agree with them. You are not to blame for standing up for what you want for yourself, whether it goes against a family member or other influences standards. Life should be lived the way you want to, because after all, your life is yours and yours alone. Or as it goes nowadays, YOLO! 4. Something out of your control, including a conditioned response from early life. When bad situations happen, do you end up asking yourself, what could I have done better? Or what if I did something differently? Some aspects of life are simply uncontrollable and unpredictable. Situations such as parents splitting up, a loss of a loved one, or an accident are no one's fault. This also includes any childhood trauma you may have experienced. You can't change your past events or how other people, including your parents, treated you. Those events and their actions and behaviors aren't your fault. You don't have to feel ashamed of yourself for something that you had no part in causing. 5. Stigmas and prejudices of others. Do you fear stigmatization? Are you wary of prejudice? There are so many things society has stigmatized for no valid reason. One huge thing society has a prejudice against is mental health issues. Even nowadays, you might feel like having a mental health issue is disgraceful, or a sign that you're broken. But that's not the case at all. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you have depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue. Many people have them and are coping with them every day of their lives, so you are not alone. Belonging to what society stigmatizes or is prejudiced against is not a reason for shame. It's their opinion versus your fact. More power to you. 6. Your feelings. Are your reactions spontaneous? Do you feel everything that goes on around you at a much deeper level than others? Emotions are part of us that oftentimes we have no control over. You can't control whether you feel sad or if something makes you angry. There's no you should or shouldn't feel this or that, because every single emotion you have is valid. Your emotions want you to embrace them rather than be ashamed due to them. Responding appropriately to your emotions is a much better idea than blaming yourself for having them. 7. Putting yourself first. Are you a workaholic? Do you feel like taking a break isn't an option? We live in a society that puts a lot of emphasis on being productive and hardworking, which can be a good thing, some of the time. But overworking yourself and your mental health can be hazardous. There is no shame in needing a break for the good of your mental health. It's not selfish. Rather, it's wise. This includes taking a break from work, school, or a particularly stressful hobby or activity. Taking care of yourself is healthy, important, and normal. Not embarrassing, weak, incompetent, or lazy. So work that self-care routine of yours. You totally deserve it. 8. Saying no. Are you under a lot of pressure to break away from your comfort zone? Is it in pursuit of discovering a side of yourself you never knew existed? But ultimately, your comfort is just as, if not more important. Some people push you too far or too fast, which can be scary. And sometimes it might feel like saying no isn't an option, because you don't want to disappoint anyone or seem closed-minded. But if you're not comfortable with someone or you're not comfortable doing something, there is no reason to be ashamed to say so. They need to respect your comfort levels and you as a whole. 9. Needing help. Do you shy away from asking for help? Does it make you feel exposed, vulnerable? There aren't many people who are completely comfortable with getting help from others. Reasons range from privacy to fear of becoming a burden. So you prefer handling your matters yourself. However, no one expects you to do everything alone, and it's not healthy to try to do everything yourself. Needing help is a good thing. It's a part of accepting that you, like everyone else on earth, aren't perfect, and that's okay. Do you feel a little more reassured after watching this video? It can be a healing experience to hear that you don't need to feel ashamed after all. Because like Uncle Iroh, the great dragon of the west said, true humility is the only antidote to shame. If you found this video insightful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with someone who might be dealing with this as well. Subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more content. Thanks for watching, and we'll see you in the next one.