 In just a moment suspense with Edward G. Robinson Have I got that hiccups? I'll say you have and the way you sputtering you sound like a car that needs a set of new auto lights bought now Happy it isn't funny Billy. Have you tried drinking a glass of water while you hold your breath? Mom? I'm so full of water now. I feel I Feel like an auto light stay full battery men never take anything seriously. Maybe what Billy needs is a hiccup I mean a checker that an auto light ignition service station might help if I could get my mind on something else Hey, I know what'll make you forget those hiccups and give you a bunch of thrills to boot a switch to auto light Mary It's time for suspense Suspense and its 60,000 dealers and service stations bring you Radio's outstanding theater of thrills Starring tonight. Mr. Edward G. Robinson in Anton leaders production of the man who wanted to be Edward G. Robinson a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense I I'm making this statement in accordance with the promise to a very dear friend It's a complete statement in every detail even including those matters which are to me personally most incriminating Because my trust in my friend is such that I have the slightest concern on that score or any other What follows concerns primarily two persons Myself Homer J. Hubbard and my wife Ada Samsey Hubbard Even when I was courting Ada I was aware that hers was a strong and domineering personality say the least And after we were married Well, the first I put up with Ada's constant nagging and petty persecutions as best I could I put up with them for 20 long years It wasn't until a memorable evening a little over a year ago that the first-day outlines of an escape and Finally a plan began to take shape in my mind You see, I I never was much of a one for movies, but Ada and I had gone to see a picture called little Caesar It was a Reissue, I think they call it with an actor in it who might never even heard of before So you thought you're right on me. Hell well get this nobody rats on little Caesar see I saw that face on the screen the minute I heard that voice The world of reality around me simply ceased to exist. I live that picture. I was little Caesar I was Edward G. Robinson. I was dimly conscious that my voice was like yours That even my face without my spectacles and with my hair parted differently might have been mistaken for his but It was more than that it was his personality And that I assumed car matured tough Kind of a man who will make people do what he wanted on the way he wanted it done Walking out of the movie theater afterward. I knew something had happened. It was going to change my whole life Well, there's a man Yes, these are they call him and well they may and that Edward G. Robinson. I'll wait. Yeah, he's no Casper milk toast Yes, dear Is that all you have to say? Well, what does it take to arouse a little enthusiasm in you anyway? Well, you've seen a fine performance a picture that get anybody in the world excited and all you can say is yes Dear, I wish you were half the man that Robinson is But from that moment I no longer really cared what I had wished I thought I'd begun my escape into a dream world of my own making a world in which I was Edward G. Robinson As the weeks went by I began to identify myself with him more and more I imagined myself in countless dangerous situations and when no one was looking I Imitated him and I affected his mannerisms. I would start daydreaming at my desk wondering what the other people in the office would think of I suddenly exposed this hidden side of my personality Okay, everybody stay where you are. Well, hold your hands on your head. I don't want any monkey business See now stand back there Ryan. Why any funny stuff from you, and I'll let you have it This is preposterous. What do you mean by such behavior? Is this your idea of a joke? You'll see whether it's a joke or not if you make one false move. This isn't a water pistol. I'm holding here You know you're fired leave this office immediately. I'm getting out. All right, but I'm not fired. See I'm leaving well here That's why you come in mr. Ryan, please please hubbard be reasonable shut up Do what I tell you keep your hands up in the air. Well, you're welcome. What did I say open it up? Get all the money out of it and put it right here on the desk in front of me I get moving. I don't want to have any trouble with your Ryan I'm gonna count three and if you're not moving when I finish you'll never move again see one to Hubbard What are you doing daydreaming? Better get busy. I should be forced to report you to mr. Pemberton again. Yeah. Oh Oh, I'm so sorry mr. Ryan. I'm terribly sorry. I can't understand what could have come over me Well, that's the way it went at the office walking down the street riding home on the bus My life outwardly come and well ordered possibly even though was actually 24 hours of harrowing adventure With myself as the central figure So every Edward G Robinson picture that came out it was the day after seeing key Largo for the third time that Ada finally caught me I was lathering my face and talking to myself Okay, I rat you ask for it. You don't come out say we're coming and get you see and we're coming in shooting. See what's that? Oh Yeah And only a dirty yellow rat would say that okay boys. Let him have it Well, I never of all the whole performances. I ever heard of this beats everything Yeah, what in the world are you jabbering about in here? Oh, well, it's really nothing dear Ada I was just sort of trying to imitate Edward G. Robinson You were what? Edward G. Robinson You trying to imitate Edward G I Interrupt the performance mr. Movie star Come on do your act for me. Well, well dear. I don't see anything so funny I'll leave you to your rehearsing. Why don't you imitate any bracken or Margaret O'Brien? I think you was right then that I decided to kill her for suspense Auto light is bringing you mr. Edward G. Robinson in radio's outstanding theater of thrills Suspends Billy's all over those hiccups. Thanks to Edward G. Robinson and suspense. Don't mention hiccups again. He might get him back Let's switch his mind to something else. Well You know how he is about anything auto light makes let's listen to Frank Martin that'll do the trick Friends money can't buy better electrical equipment for your car than auto light and here's why In the first place auto light is the world's largest independent manufacturer of automotive electrical equipment Original factory equipment for many of the finest cars and trucks in America in its 26 nationwide plants Auto light manufacturers distributors generators starting motors spark plugs batteries wire not to mention such things as bumpers Dicastings horns instruments and gauges lights ornamental plastics and over 400 other products What's more auto light service stations all over the country are staffed with trained men and specialized machines To give your car the best possible electrical service So friends when your car's electrical equipment needs attention drive into your nearest auto light service station or the dealer who sells your Make-of-car and ask for original factory parts and service Remember auto light service stations are listed in your classified telephone directory under automotive electrical equipment Now auto light brings back to a Hollywood soundstage Mr. Edward G. Robinson in the man who wanted to be Edward G. Robinson a tale well-calculated to keep you in suspense I might have decided to have a missy on her if she'd only let me alone But Ada could never leave anyone alone She ridiculed me at home and in front of our friends Sometimes she'd let a few weeks go by without saying anything and I would think that perhaps she had forgotten No, Ada never forgot. She would wait until we were in the group of people and then she would come out with it Well, my dear, you mean I haven't told you about Homer's dream world He thinks he's Edward G. Robinson Oh Do tell us mr. Homer G. Robinson, when do you think you'll be getting your next contract from Hollywood? Oh, you folks have got Homer all wrong. He's a killer at heart just a cold-blooded killer Yes, sir, what kind of a gun well, I Don't know much about guns, but that one looks all right. Yes. Yes. That's a nice little gun 2850 Do I have to have a license? Oh, not unless you're going to carry it on your person Oh, otherwise we just register it for the police records under your name. Oh, yeah, what's the name? Oh? Edward G. Robinson You heard me mug Edward G. Robinson see Made my plans very carefully My plan was that her murder would look like suicide It would be a night when the moon was full so that I could see a head on the pillow and aim carefully I would fire the shot through the temple quickly wipe my fingerprints from the handle of the gun and then push it into her hand And as the shocked and bereaved husband, I would call dr. Wallace the police wouldn't come until later And when they did I would be ready for them I was so busy laying my plans that I hadn't been reading the papers and had to be told the big news Homer Oh, I beg your pardon. Mr. Robinson Would you mind passing the spinach that is if you're not too preoccupied with planning your next murder Yeah, held up any banks lately Homer Here you are dear. Oh say that reminds me all kidding aside. Did you know that he's gonna be here next week? Who Edward G. Robinson? He's going to address the hobbyist convention. Oh, is that so? Yeah, sure. Well, hi I'd like to hear I would do. Oh, I'd love to see what a real he-man is like not just a poor imitation We went and at first it was the most terrible disappointment of my life Because he wasn't tough or hard-boiled or anything like it You seem to be a mild-mannered little fellow a little shy Almost like me. He talked about orchids and modern art There were hobbies. He said raising orchids and collecting paintings modern paintings As the lecture went on I began to understand by the time it was over. I I knew and So ladies and gentlemen, I consider myself twice blessed every man is blessed who has a hobby But I am among the fortunate few who have two hobbies and as the fellow said whose fiancee had a twin sister. I love them both Later that evening I made an excuse to get away from Ada and went down to the hotel where I knew mr. Robinson was staying I Bribed the bellboy one dollar and seventy-five cents to tell me which was his room. I Went down the hall and knocked at the door of 708 Yeah Western Union Come on in just put it on the Well say Western Union dresses their boys up pretty snappy in this town, don't they? I I must apologize for adopting the sub-diffusion mr. Robinson But I have something of the utmost importance to discuss with you and I was afraid you might not see me since Well, we've never been formally in introduced Ha ha ha formally introduced why that's all right. What is it the autograph? I'm afraid it's something a good deal more serious than that mr. Robinson. Yeah Well, you caught me right in the middle of shaving as you see, but if you know my my finishing the job while you talk Why come right along inside tell me all about it. Thank you Well now What's on your mind? Well, uh, mr. Robinson, I Have a problem and I feel you are the person best fit it in the world to tell me what to do That's all. Well, what is the problem? Mr. Robinson Suppose of course, this is purely hypothetical But suppose you were going to kill somebody kill somebody Yes In in your own home somebody was shall we say related to you Yeah, and I'll hold on a minute. Mr. Uh, mr. Hubbard Homer J Hubbard. Yeah, mr. Hubbard. I may look like a bad guy on the screen when I'm not working I'm just a plain peace-loving citizen like anybody else Oh Oh, you you you can fool people like that audience night with all that talk about orchids and modern art and it was very good And I quite understand why you do it man your position must have a front of course, but You didn't fool me. I didn't huh? Well, I I know Rather I I knew I I could come to you and be Perfectly frank. Yeah, but what? Why about the murder about the what? Look at me mr. Robinson. I'm a shy Inhibited weak utterly ineffectual person. I have none of your assurance your Harness your ability to cope with any situation to direct ruthless way. Yeah How many times I I wished I had because for 20 years my life has been made horribly unbearably miserable by one person my wife, oh So that's the way it is. Yes For years. I bore it as best I could and then one day I thought How would you have coped with it? And of course I knew it once you would kill it. Yeah, now wait a minute. Are you kidding me? Oh, no, no, Mr. Ronson. I wouldn't think of such a thing. Look look here. I Even secured a gun to do it with hmm Hey, yeah, you better give me that no no don't point it with handed in me by the barrel here Put it over here Say for you now Yeah, I must admit I I know very little about firearms and then they're quite distasteful to me as you and me both You mr. Robinson. Well, I mean Small arms like that. Of course a Tommy gun that's different. That's the only thing to use Yeah, I suppose you're right, but I didn't know where to get a Tommy gun. I was afraid even if I did I Never master the art of using it. Yeah, well Now you want to kill your wife. Is that it? You want me to help you if you If you could spare the time, I can't tell you how grateful I'd be Yeah, well, you know now was to hovered you Well, you look like a pretty nice little guy. Yeah Why must really be an old battle axe to got you in a frame of mind like this? All right, I'll tell you what I'll do. I will help you. Oh, Mr. Robinson Yes, but it's got to be done my way. See it's got to be done, right? You got a plan these things You know take this gap this little fleet for instance that you got over there. That's no kind of a rod to kill your wife with Why the caliber is all wrong the Ballistics would be all wrong fix would be on your trail just like that Now I gotta get home. That's perfect for the job. Get me. I've knocked off Orson wills Jimmy cake Oh, I don't know how many guys with this now the first thing when I get home I'll send it to you parcel post see would you mr. Robinson? Oh sure sure now when you get it just lay low see now Don't do a thing till you hear from me. I'll lay this thing out for some of my boys and then I'll get in touch with you Okay. Oh, yes, mr. Robinson. I don't know how to thank you. I forget it now What's a little moiter between friends I could scarcely maintain my composure in the two days that followed The second day sure enough the gun arrived It was a great heavy thing the kind that's referred to I think is an automatic Remembering its history. I handle it with the utmost care of reverence. I Hit it in the garage where I keep my pipe that Peter won't let me smoke in the house It was the next afternoon Saturday that the phone rang I rushed into the bedroom to answer it and close the door after me So Ada wouldn't hear in case it was Yes, Eddie. Oh Yes, yes, mr. Eddie Get that package I sent you. Oh, yes. Yes. I got it Understand. Oh, yes. Yes, the phones in the bedroom and the doors closed everything just as you say Eddie followed his instructions to the letter seemed ours before Ada went to sleep that night Seemed days until my watch finally crept around towards midnight But at last the time had come I Crept out of bed got the gun out of my coat pocket and took my position on the landing outside the Bedroom door as he had told me to and then suddenly suddenly the phone rang The plan was ruined even Edward G Robinson couldn't have foreseen this I Rushed back into the bedroom hoping against hope that I could catch it before Ada woke up, but she already had the light on What in the world are you doing prowling around at this time of night with a gun in your head? Why I thought I heard a burglar burglar when I've answered this phone. I want to talk to you home a Jeremiah Hello, yes What? Oh What Homer there is a burglar is there someone just saw him trying to get into the house Are you sure of course? I am a man just found that he saw the burglar. Well, don't just stand there Yeah, no got a gun go on down and stop him. Yes, but but Ada. Oh, do you want us to be killed in our beds? Go on. Hey there. Why do you have to spoil everything? There's nothing to do but go I Crept down the stairs and the darkness I Knew what Edward G Robinson would have done He would have gone down and captured the burglar without the slightest trouble and turned them over to the police after giving him the beating he deserved that Somehow I I didn't feel much like Edward G Robinson just then It was at that moment that the terrible thought occurred to me that maybe it wasn't a burglar Maybe this was Edward G Robinson. I had no time to pursue the thought further Suddenly there was a barrage of shocks and a confused yelling of voices in my cheddar I suppose I'm I squeeze the trigger of my own gun Jumping in my hand. I jumped on something and the next thing I knew I was tumbling headlong down the stairs And that was the last I remember Ada was holding my head in her arms. She was crying They made me stay in bed for a couple of days, but I Really didn't mind the reporters to see me and take my picture for the paper and all kinds of people Even mr. Ryan and mr. Pemberton came to see me and Ada Well, Ada was simply a changed person. Nothing was too good for me. My slightest wish was literally a command If the whole thing hadn't been an accident if I planned it that way it couldn't have turned out better Then is the final climax that afternoon when the phone rang by my bed Yes, oh Yes Eddie You did you did a oh Nothing nothing really Yes, oh Well, um about that Things have changed. Oh, yes, they've changed quite a lot. I Don't think we'll have to go through with it That's right. Oh Sure. Sure. She's right here. Just a minute Eddie Robinson You mean Edward G. Robinson. Oh, yes. He we had quite a little chat that night. He was in town after I let you he got pretty chummy Hello, oh Yes, oh Yes, mr. Robinson. Oh, I know he is Oh, I certainly will mr. Robinson. Yes. Yes, I know I'm very lucky All right, mr. Robinson Goodbye Oh, oh my he knew all about it. He'd seen it in the papers. Yeah, so he said and he said you were a hero a Real hero bigger than any movie hero that ever was Well, if Eddie Robinson says I'm a hero I guess maybe I am Couldn't have turned out better Eddie. You know how grateful I am I'm a regular little sees around town now and my married life is all I've ever wanted to be Because there are some things about the whole thing that confused me a little It has even occurred to me I'll confess that you might have had the more of a hand in it that was generally known and That the gun you sent me might have contained blanks. I believe you call them because in spite of all the shooting There wasn't one bullet hole anywhere in the house And the gun had disappeared which confused the police on what to win the burglars might have been some of your boys playing a little joke But I don't think you would do a thing like that to a pal Eddie. Would you I? Don't even think you would use the statement that you asked me to send you to hold of my head as a guarantee that I wouldn't try to kill Eddie again, and I'm not that I ever would Yes, but even if you did all that Eddie, I don't really mind Because as you might say yourself What's a little joke between pals Thank You Edward G. Robinson for a splendid performance. Mr. Robinson will return in just a moment That was a wonderful performance wasn't it half sure was oh say Billy Yeah, how are the hiccups? Oh God dad? I think I lost them during mr. Martin's last auto light commercial. Yeah, that's fine Well, I guess it's time to oh my gosh now. I've got them Mary Turn up Frank Martin again quick Auto light original factory parts and auto light service stations work as a team to help you maintain carefree economical performance for your car So friends when your car's electrical system needs attention drive into your nearest auto light service station Or the dealer who sells your make of car and ask for original factory parts and auto light service Money can't buy better electrical equipment and auto light and remember Auto light means spark plug ignition engineered spark plug Auto light means batteries stay full battery Auto light means ignition system the lifeline of your car And now here again as mr. Edward G. Robinson. It's been fun appearing in our suspense story tonight But just so nobody gets the wrong idea. It was only a story. I'm not really so tough only get this I'm telling you say you better listen to suspense next week say Because Ray Milan Will be here in the story called night drive by William L. Stewart another gripping study in Suspense Edward G. Robinson may soon be seen in the Paramount production night has a thousand eyes Tonight suspense play was written by Leslie Raditz with music composed by Lucian Morrowick and conducted by Lud Bluskin The entire production was under the direction of Anton M. Leader in the coming weeks Suspense will present such stars as William power Lucille ball John Garfield Sydney Green Street and many others make it a point to listen each Thursday to suspense radio's outstanding theater of thrills and next Thursday same time here Ray Milan in Night Cry Show drivers if your life depends on it it does Good night switch to auto light. This is CBS the Columbia Broadcasting System