 So as many of you know billionaire Mike Bloomberg is running for president and you know the first thing that he's clearly trying to do is convince all of us peasants that he is just like us and He's human except the problem is that he's not being very convincing at Showing us that he's human because he's making decisions that just show how out of touch He is and like you're a billionaire you're gonna be out of touch But Tom Steyer is a billionaire even he is Less out of touch than Mike Bloomberg and I don't like Tom Steyer But I mean when you compare the two it's clear that one of them is You know more human and the other is Possibly an Android like we're talking like 5050 chance that he is straight up just an Android So the campaign you'd think would help would try to make him more personable You know, I'm sure that when Elizabeth Warren launched her campaign when she did that Instagram live stream where she got a beer all Weirdly and awkwardly that was what her campaign staff tried to do but Mike Bloomberg's team just seems to be like making him lean in to the fact that he is possibly a robot and one of the most you know The biggest example that shows that he may be a robot and is definitely not a normal person is when team Bloomberg Tweeted out this video with zero context Where's my ice cream? Big gay ice cream is the best anybody So my first reaction to that was Why is the ice cream gay like is he trying to be like cool and like say oh this this ice cream is so gay Which wouldn't necessarily mean that it's it's cool That would mean that it's it's gay If you thought that gay men stupid if we're going back to the 2000s with lingo there So I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about and second of all like this is the guy who tried to ban big gulps So why is he eating ice cream assuming it's filled with sugar wouldn't he want to ban it and not try to eat it? Now one of my Twitter followers said that apparently big gay ice cream is an ice cream shop in New York Okay, well, how are we supposed to know that like I live in Oregon? I don't know what the fuck big gay ice cream is How am I supposed to know that that's the name of an ice cream shop when you just tweet out a 10-second video of him saying? I love big gay ice cream What I mean, that's like me just saying hey, I love muchos People would say what the fuck is that they wouldn't know that that is a delicious Mexican restaurant in Beaverton, Oregon Nobody would know that hence why you need to supply people with context So I mean if you're if you're trying to prove to us that you're not a robot You're not helping now the biggest evidence that Bloomberg is not a human being and that he is straight up just Robot reptilian. I don't know is this interaction that he had with a dog I've watched this video like 25 times so he encountered a dog Rather than like scratching its head or something or scratching its ear he grabbed the dog's fucking face and Shook it as if it were a hand. I'm not kidding. Take a look. I I've seen this video like 30 times and Wow Who does that? Who does that and it took me forever to realize that he was like trying to emulate a handshake I'll be it with the dog But if you've ever come into contact with dogs before you know that one might be able to shake hands. Just you know Do this and then maybe the dog will put its paw on your hand. But what does he do? Grabs the dogs fucking Like serial killers do this What the fuck are you doing and the look on the dog's face is just like Man Like the dog didn't know what to do the dog tried to play it off and just like yawn American politics is so stupid Now the internet reacted to this i'm crying but um And i've seen this so many times, but it's still funny the internet reacted and you know had the same response that I had like Why are you grabbing the dog's face you fucking weirdo? So he responded by releasing an ad to totally prove that he just he loves dogs Mike Bloomberg is the man to lead us. He will create more jobs Mike's not afraid of the NRA not one bit trust me. I will get it done. Yeah Get it done. Yes. He does not tweet. Oh I like Mike. I like Mike. I lick Mike I'm Mike Bloomberg's dog. I approve this message. I'm Mike Bloomberg and I approve this message Stop Stop shut it down shut it down Oh my god I almost want him on the debate stage even Though i'm against billionaires like buying their way onto the debate stage I almost want him on the debate stage Just like observe his behavior Because this is not a normal human being like as much as he's trying to personalize his campaign and make it seem like he's down You know down with the peasants and he's just like one of us No, not buying it. I mean look at these pictures. You can see him here You know, he's just clearly miserable with this woman who i'm assuming is a supporter But he doesn't look very happy to be in her company You have him I guess almost high fiving this girl But not wanting to make direct skin contact with a peasant because I'm assuming he thinks that You know, we have germs although, you know while wearing gloves He is less likely to catch diseases from peasants. So, you know He is willing to shake their hands in this instance, although i'm assuming he is going to throw away that glove afterwards Or burn it and you know as a body language expert myself right here He's crossing his arms to signal that you know, he's closing himself off And he doesn't want that peasant to go any closer to him that distance is fine But it's you know any closer and you're gonna be making mike bloomberg feel uncomfortable And here you have him enjoying a game like all the peasants do and you know in this picture you can see he's really enjoying this game look the point of democracy is representation of the people Michael bloomberg is not a person. This is a robot and he He doesn't even know how to interact with the dog like normal humans just instinctively want to scratch a dog's ear or pet it He grabbed its face and Seeing him utterly miserable talking to people I just I don't understand like If you are a billionaire and you have So much money more so than you'd ever be able to spend even if you were lucky enough to live to be 10,000 years old Why not just retire Why not just retire to one of your i'm assuming like 30 mansions? retire buy an island live there I just it makes no sense to me Why if you're that wealthy you would try to do something like this Like I don't think that donald trump wanted to actually become president I think he was using his 2016 campaign as a stepping stone for like some sort of a network But now he is clearly miserable. He hates his job just likes the campaign part So, I mean, why would you want to do that as well? You're rich. Just just go away I mean, you're not offering voters anything. You don't support medicare for all I don't know How you'd be different than donald trump. I mean what maybe we get more centrist supreme court justices. That's it I just it makes no sense to me. Why billionaires feel so Hell meant on influencing american politics when no matter what the u.s. government does it's not going to change their lives at all So i'm done talking about mike bloomberg. Uh, this is not a human being. This is quite possibly the most obvious android not fooling anyone and I can't get over the dog video I still can't get over it