 During these crazy times, I have a little motto going on. Don't make dumb decisions now that you're going to regret in six months. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel's all about mental health. And something that can mess your mental health up is relationships. So, if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And before we jump into this amazing topic, I wanna let you know, I started my podcast back up. It's a mental health podcast. And I have such cool guests coming up. Like you have no idea. I'm talking about psychologists. I'm talking about neuroscientists. I'm talking about therapists. I'm talking about authors. So many cool people. I am so, so, so excited. But anyways, it's released every Wednesday. I just did one this morning. It's so low. But anyways, go check it out. It's about the United States of Anxiety. All right? So go check it out. It'll be linked down below. It's on Spotify. It's on Apple. All that good stuff. Cause I'm here for you, baby. All right? So yeah, let's talk. Let's talk real quick. So in the current situation of social distancing, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot of loneliness, we are in the perfect situation to make the dumbest decisions ever. So I wanted to make this video for all of you guys, although I am in a very loving relationship with my beautiful girlfriend Tristan. We've been together for over three years. But before I met the love of my life, I made the dumbest decisions ever. And I know how a lot of you feel right now, if you are single, if you're feeling lonely, and all that stuff. But right now is not the time to try to hook up with your ex, okay? So I made a video the other day about how social distancing, it can cause signs of depression, it can cause signs of anxiety, right? And we can feel very alone right now. And there's one of the reasons why I keep talking about staying in touch with your support group. But here's the thing. Like, so I used to get in terrible relationship after terrible relationship after terrible relationship, right? And I used to just get in this pity party, like, oh, why me? Why can't I just find a decent woman to date, right? And I was neglecting all personal responsibility, right? Although some of the relationships that I was in were verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and even though I'm a guy, I was physically abused as well. But the thing was, I was making very dumb decisions, right? By getting in those relationships in the first place. All of the glaring red flags were there. But an even worse decision that I used to make was getting back with these people. And although the current climate is different right now, it's the same feelings and same emotions that we all get. So save this video and use it later, okay? Because when we're lonely, when we're sad, when we're depressed, we start to lower our bar. We start to lower our standards, right? Like being in that vulnerable state of, you know, not feeling good enough, wanting to feel loved, all of that stuff, like being in that state, like we make really, really dumb decisions. And I saw some people talking about this on Twitter. I'm like, this is some true stuff. So the first thing we'll talk about with the main reasons why you don't do this and try to hook up with an ex during this time is many years ago, before it really made sense to me, I had an older brother-like figure. He was almost like a mentor to me, right? And he told me about the spoiled milk philosophy, okay? Stay with me. So when you're thinking about an ex or getting back with an ex or texting an ex or hooking up with an ex, never forget the spoiled milk philosophy, all right? So what he told me is, getting with an ex is like drinking spoiled milk, okay? Like, imagine you go to your fridge and you're like, I'm gonna have a glass of milk. You pour yourself a glass and you're tasting the boom. Oh my God, this is spoiled, right? Well, the idea is getting back with an ex is like taking that spoiled milk, putting it back in the fridge, taking it out later and thinking it's gonna be better this time. Now, girl, it's still spoiled milk, okay? And I can tell you this from personal experience. Some of you might have this personal experience as well. And trust me, I know I'm gonna get some comments like, oh, I got back with my ex and we're married now and everything like that. That is the exception, not the rule from a lot of people's experiences, okay? So remember these things. Like, something that's really fascinating to me about the human psyche, especially when it comes to relationships, but you might even have this happen with like jobs or family members or friends, but we have this weird blind spot, this weird mental blind spot with our memory where we forget all of the terrible things, all of the terrible things and our brain focuses on the good times, right? We forget all of the fights. We forget all of the lying or cheating or the emotional or verbal abuse that they put us through. And we're like, oh, but what about that time we cuddled on the couch? What about that time when we first started dating, when they did this, right? It's such a weird blind spot. So before we make this decision to call or text an ex, right? It'd be like, yo, social distancing, but you want a Netflix and chill? Like we need to remember the whole picture, the whole picture of that relationship. Something we often forget is we broke up with that person for a reason. This relationship ended for a reason. But again, in that blind spot, we had this tendency to lie to ourselves about what actually happened. And sometimes it turns into this personal type of self-blame, right? Like, oh, maybe if I was a little bit more trusting, maybe if I didn't make them so mad all the time, right? Maybe I shouldn't have been doing that thing, you know? Like all these other things. And we neglect to realize that that was a very emotionally or even sometimes physically abusive relationship. And if you are not seeing in this blind spot, a great thing to do before you call or text that ex during this time is talk to your friends. Talk to your friends. Now, a lot of us don't do this because we know what we're gonna hear. Like some of you know, I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, seven and a half years clean. And, you know, one of the things they tell us is like before you, you know, pick up to relapse, like call someone, you know? Call someone from your support group, call a sponsor, you know, whatever. And a lot of times we don't do that because we know they're gonna tell us not to do that thing. But again, like I said in the intro of this video, and I will say this until this whole thing is over, do not make a dumb decision today that you're going to regret six months from now. Right now, we are in a very difficult time that none of us have ever experienced, right? And we're freaking out. We are panicking and we're taking this day by day. But listen to me, I promise you, I promise you, okay? This is going to stop at some point, okay? There's different estimates of when it's gonna blow over, right? Some people are saying May, some people are saying August, you know? All these different estimates. But the thing is, this whole thing is going to pass. And one of the reasons why I've been making so many mental health videos during this time, like I dialed back on the content I was making. But one of the reasons I'm so active on this channel right now is because now we have to remember to take care of our mental and emotional well-being. And something that will knock us off course is reigniting a relationship with someone who is absolutely awful for us. And one of the worst case scenarios, one of the worst case scenarios is that you get back into like a severely abusive relationship. You know what I mean? I might make some more videos about how this period of time is, you know, it's a breeding ground for even more domestic violence and things like that, which is really scary. But just to touch on that real quick, if you're somebody watching this who was in that situation, like there are still resources available. Reach out to friends, reach out to family, leave that situation if you have to. Do not think that this current period of, you know, social distancing and isolation means that there's no way out because there is. But the worst thing that any of us could possibly do right now is to willingly get back into that relationship. Because again, that damn mental blind spot, we can start making excuses for the other person's behavior and what they did to us, okay? There are plenty of fish in the sea, although right now is not the time to be swiping over on Tinder, okay? Because you don't wanna catch nothing, all right? But like talk to people, build social connections, like again, loneliness makes us just lower our guards and lower our standards. I did that for a very long time, okay? Many years was me having low standards just because of my poor mental health, because of my loneliness and everything like that. If you need some love, go adopt a cat, they're amazing or a dog, whatever you wanna do, they'll show you some love, okay? But anyways, that's all I got for this video. Remember, for the love of God, now is not the time to hook up with an ex. Don't make a dumb decision today that you're gonna regret six months from now, all right? But that's all I got for this video. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel around Patreon, as well as everybody supporting the channel by buying my mental health books at therewiretole.com. And if you use code Rewired, you get 25% off any of my e-books or audio books at therewiretole.com slash shop, all right? Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.