 The Harold Perry Show. Hee hee hee. Harold Perry as Honest Harold the Homemaker. Well, Honest Harold, that popular radio entertainer of Melrose Springs, is playing a new role these days. He is acting as father to 10-year-old Marvin, a distant relative who has come to live with him for a while. There's a lot of hustle and bustle around the house this morning, for this is the day Marvin makes his debut at Melrose Springs Grammar School. Yes, this is an exciting morning, especially for Honest Harold. Hurry up now, Marvin, get your little coat on. You don't want to be late for school on your first day. Ah gee, Harold, it's only 8.30. School doesn't start till 9. That doesn't make any difference. You know what Benjamin Franklin said. What's that? Well, uh, uh, anyway, let's get going. All right. Let me have a look at you, Marvin. Well, you certainly look handsome in your new blue-sert suit. Thanks. Harold. Yeah? It was awfully nice of you to buy me this suit, but... Well, don't you think I'm a little too dressed up for school? What? Well, all the other kids might think it's kind of funny. They'll all have on their school clothes. Well, that's nonsense. Nothing wrong with looking like a little gentleman. I bet the kids will be real impressed. Well... Yes, sir. You'll show them all up in that outfit. Now, let's see. Make a chip in your pocket. Bow tie. Black and white ventilated shoes. Yeah. Sure. I'll be real proud of you. Oops. Almost forgot, Marvin. Here's a carnation for your buttonhole. What? There. Now you look real spiffy. Well, let's get the car out and I'll drive you down. Mother, have you got Marvin's lunch ready? Yes, ma'am. Now, who's that? Come in. What are you doing here so early? Oh, Marvin. How are you this morning? Just fine, sir. Thank you. Marvin, your lunch is ready. Oh, excuse me. Boy's certainly dressed up higher. Where's he going? He's going to school. What? With that carnation in his buttonhole? Must be going to a school for floor walkers. Very funny, you old horse, doctor. It won't hurt him to dress up, Doc. There's nothing wrong with Marvin making an impression on his classmates. You're making an impression, all right. Harrow kids don't like to dress up when they go to school. I know when I was a boy, I didn't. Doc, when you were a boy, they didn't have schools. I'll just ignore that, Harrow. Yes, sir, when I was a lad, I was the huckleberry fin type. I went fishing all the time. I went to school barefoot wearing tatted overalls and an old straw hat. That holds for your ears, too. And I used to walk to school with a little girl next door. I carried her books, and she carried my paler worms. Oh, my goodness. You ought to go back to school, Doc. You're in your second childhood. Come on, Marvin. Pretty nice-looking school, huh, Marvin? Yeah. Kind of small, but it's real up to date. As a Coca-Cola machine in the hall. Well, thanks for driving me down, Harold. Guess I better go in now. Wait a minute, Marvin. I'm going in with you. You don't have to do that, Harold. You saw the principal and enrolled me yesterday. I know about that. I want to be sure he gets started right, Marvin. I'll take you into your teacher and introduce you to some of the children. But I can do that myself, Harold. Well, it'll be a lot better if I do it. I'm a prominent alumnus, you know. Come on, Marvin. All right. Guess we're a little early. The kids are still outside playing. Well, there you are. Those are your future friends, Marvin. Let's see. You're in the fifth grade. They said that'd be room seven. Here we are right here. Well, let's go in and see if the teacher's there. Well, Harold... Come on now. Good morning. Good morning. Are you the fifth grade teacher? Yes, I'm Miss Turner. How do you do? I'm Harold Hemp. This is little Marvin. He's going to be in your class. Oh, yes, the principal told me. Good morning, Marvin. We're very happy to have you with us. Thank you, ma'am. Yeah, it's thought to be better if I came down with him. First day in a new school, you know. Oh, well, that was very nice of you. Oh, I'm glad to do it. Marvin looks pretty handsome in his blue-shirt suit, doesn't he? Why, yes. It was my idea. I wanted to make a big hit with his little classmates. Well... How old are you, Marvin? He's ten. Thank you. And Marvin, what school did you go to last? Well, I... Military Academy. He's quite a little soldier, too. Show Miss Turner how you drill, Marvin. Ah, gee, Harold. Don't be bashful now. Hut, two, three, four. Mr. Hemp. Perhaps Marvin can show me some other time. Oh, yeah. It was very kind of you to bring him down here, and I'm sure he'll get along fine. Well, that's good. Oh, Miss Turner, there's one thing I forgot to have little Marvin do. It's an apple for the teacher. That's all right. You know the old saying, an apple of a teacher will give you an A. Harold, won't you be late for work? Oh, no, no. My radio program doesn't start till 10. Oh. Oh. Hmm? Oh. You know, being in this class takes me back to my school days. I used to sit in a desk just like this one. I wonder if I could still fit into it. I think I'll try it. Well, Mr. Hemp, it's rather small. Perhaps you should... Oh, just for fun. Now, just squeeze in. There. Maybe I could do it. Well, feels just like a school kid again. Teacher, may I stay after school and clap erasers? Mr. Hemp, the other children will be arriving in just a moment. Oh, well, I'll get out. Oh, my goodness, I'm stuck. Good morning, Jerry. Mr. Hemp, can I... Well, that's Mr. Hemp. Yeah, I'm Mr. Hemp. Is he going to be in a class too? What? He looks funny stuck in that desk. Jerry, that's not nice. Yeah, made it. Darn it. Scratched my elk's tooth. Oh, Jerry, I want you to meet your new classmate, Marvin. Hello, Jerry. Hi. Look at that outfit. Looks handsome, doesn't he? Sure does. Well, I bet you and Marvin will get to be real friends. Yeah, we sure will. Well, time for class, I guess. Nice to have met you, Mr. Turner. Thank you. You'd better be going. I know you'll get along fine, Marvin. Yeah, goodbye, Harold. See you tonight. Yeah, you'll see me before that. What? After my program and coming back from spend the whole afternoon with you. You are? In case JP, just a moment. I'll connect you. Good morning, Glory. Oh, hello, Harold. How's little Marvin this morning? Oh, fine. I just took him to school. I want to get him started right on his first day. Oh, that's nice. You know, Gloria, I kind of enjoy being a father. Really isn't very much to it. Just have to know how to handle children. That's all. Yes, so, gee, I'll be glad when Raymond and I get married. And maybe he'll be a father. Uh-huh. Maybe someday I'll be a mother. That'd be nice if it happens at the same time. Oh, Harold. Well, Raymond and I can't get married for a while. Anyhow, we have to wait until he finishes paying for his saxophone. Oh? Somebody holding a note on a saxophone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? I said, skip it, Gloria. Well, it's time to go in and do my broadcast. Holding a note on a saxophone? Oh! God, she got it. See you later, Gloria. Well, radio listeners, I hope you've enjoyed my Homemakers program this morning. And girls, I'm in sort of a fatherly mood today. So I'd like to dedicate my last song to a little boy who's just like a son to me. Dirty hands. Dirty face. Leads the neighbors a chase. But his smile is as cute as can be. Making noise. Breaking toys. Always fights with the boys. But his eye vision to see. And when my work is done. Coming home to the setting sun. From the gate. Then I kiss my boy's face. Little is a name. This is Honest Harold, the Homemaker, signing off. You can turn your vacuum cleaners on again, girls. Bye-bye, see you tomorrow. Thank you, musicians. See you, too. Dirty hands. Yeah, sure, wonderful being a father, all right. There's no trouble at all. I don't see why everybody makes such a fuss about it. All it takes is a little understanding, common sense. Oh, Harold. Yes, Gloria? Oh, you just got a lot of phone calls. Oh, I did. I guess my fans like the song, huh? Oh, your fans didn't call, Harold. It was from the Melrose Springs Grammar School. The school? Oh, they said Marvin got in a fight. What? We gave a boy named Jerry a black eye and then ran away from school. If? And then Jerry's father called and he's going to give you a black eye. And then your mother called. My mother? What happened to her? She said Marvin's seen up on your roof and won't come down. Huh? On the roof? This is going to be one of my bads. We will return for the second act of our story, Honest Harold, in just a moment. Through the years, Red Cross has helped the victims of disaster, brought comfort to servicemen in camps and hospitals and to their families. Today, with the country rising to meet the challenge of aggression, the Red Cross has been asked by the government to undertake tremendous tasks. By giving generously to the Red Cross, you will help mobilize for the defense of your families, your community and the nation. Give as much as you can today. And now, back to Harold Perry as Honest Harold, the homemaker. Well, Honest Harold is learning that playing father to a 10-year-old boy has its problems. It was only a few hours ago that Harold proudly took little Marvin to school and already the boy has had a fight run away from school. Yeah, tell him the rest. And he is now sitting up on the roof of Harold's house and refuses to come down. We find Harold a little up in the air himself, just driving home to cope with the situation. Well, I guess children aren't so easy to understand after all. What got into Marvin? He was perfectly all right when I took him to school this morning. Sitting on the roof in his new blue-surge suit, too. Well, there's a house. I don't see him. Oh, my goodness. There he is, leaning on the chimney. Hello, Marvin. Hmm. Yee-hoo, Marvin. Aren't you going to say hello to Harold? Had a nice day at school? I mean, what are you doing up there, Marvin? Nothing. Oh? Well, why don't you come down here and do nothing? Marvin, you better come down now. You want to go to school this afternoon, don't you? I'm never going back to school. Oop. Now, Marvin, just because you had that little fight with Jerry, you don't have to worry. Nobody's going to punish you. Why, I had a lot of fights when I went to school. Well, one, I lost it. I won't go back to school. Now, Marvin, why not? Well, Marvin, how long do you intend to stay up there on that roof? I'm going to stay up here forever. Forever? But Marvin, the roof's only guaranteed for 10 years. I'll try another attack. Marvin, if you want to stay up there, it's all right with me. I'm not going to coax you to come on down. You can stay up there as long as you want to. All right, I will. No, you won't. You'll come down right now. Oh, my goodness. All right, Marvin, if you won't come down, I'm going to come right up there and get you. Uh, how'd you get up there? Hmm, kind of a skinny tree. Slippery elm, too. Maybe I'd better go in the house and think this thing over. Don't go away, Marvin. Uh, I mean, well, see you later. Mother, I can't get Marvin to come down off that roof. Poor little fellow. I wish there was something we could do, Harold. Well, I tried to talk to him, mother. That's a strange way for a little boy to act. There must be something troubling him. I'm sure there is, but I can't figure out what it is. I'm just not going to worry about it anymore. He can stay up there all night for all I care. I suppose he'll get pretty cold up there when the sun goes down. Well? And he'll get awfully hungry without any dinner. Yeah, I guess he will. And the paper says there'll be a heavy rain tonight. Heavy rain? Maybe I'd better go out and talk to him again. I knew you would, Harold. I'm not worried about him, you understand? I just don't want his new suit to shrink, that's all. What am I going to say to him? I could just think of some way to lure him down. Well, when you were a little boy, Harold, you'd do almost anything for a dish of ice cream. Well, mother, I think he got something there. I have a little chocolate ice cream in the refrigerator right now. Good. I was saving it for your dessert. My dessert? Well, what the heck, I can eat stewed prunes again. Ice cream. Chocolate, too. Yum, yum. I said, yum, yum. I heard you. Too bad you're not down here, you could have some. I won't. Ice cream certainly looks delicious, doesn't it, Marvin? Too bad you don't want any. Looks good, I think I'll take a bite myself. Hey, it is good, I think I'll take another bite. Now, guess I better save a little for Marvin. And Marvin! Yes, sir? Maybe you can see the ice cream better if I hold it up over my head. Look, doesn't the ice cream look... Oop, dripping on me, running by my neck. It's cold. Howdy, Harold. Oh, Pete. What's so funny, boy? Nothing, Pete. Did you get any of that ice cream on the inside? Inside my shirt. Brought this ice cream out here for Marvin. Marvin? Where is he? In the roof. How's that, boy? Pete, will you stop asking silly questions and look up there? Well, I declare. Hello, Marvin. Hello, sir. You're up there for almost an hour and he won't come down. Well, maybe I can help you. I'll let me talk to him. Marvin, Pete DeMarcel wants to talk to you. He's a policeman, you know. You better listen. Hello, Marvin. Hello. You better come on down now or... Harold won't let you go to school this afternoon. No, Pete. Well, say I got another idea. Harold, if the boy won't come down here, why don't you go up there and get him? I thought of that, Pete, but how do I get up there? Well, all you need is a long ladder. I'll go down and get the one at the jail. Good. Oh, Shaw. I just remembered. Last time we had a prison break, the boys took the ladder with them. Too bad it didn't take you. Yeah, Harold, I got it. We'll get the fire department down here. Hey, that's a good idea. I'll go in your house and call them up right now. I'll be back in a jiffy, boy. You hear that, Marvin? I'm gonna have to call the fire department. I hate to do it, but I can't let you stay up there all night. Hello, Harold. Whoa. Hello, Doc. Your mother told me about the trouble you're having with Marvin, say. I know just the thing to get him down off that roof. You do? Yes, this little puppy here. A little puppy, eh? That might work, Doc. Of course it'll work, Harold. Every boy loves a dog. A dog, he is a friend of man, always ready to lick your hand. Okay, Doc. A joy for every little boy. Let's get this over with while Marvin's still a little boy. Oh, all right. Marvin, I bring you a little puppy. Looks like this is gonna work, Doc. Would you like to have him, Marvin? I sure would. Well, then why don't you just come down here and get him? Oh. Too smart, Doc. Marvin, why don't you come down to the edge of the roof where you can see him better? Careful. Isn't he a nice little puppy, Marvin? Yeah, closer. Harold, he wants a closer look. Why don't you hold the puppy up over your head? Well, then... I've got another idea, Harold. Good, good. I'll climb on your shoulders and then Marvin can get a real close look at the puppy. Climb on my shoulders? Mm-hmm. Well, all right, Doc. Let's go, then. Okay, now you bend down, Harold. Well... Steady not now while I get up on your shoulders. Watch it, Doc. You're stepping on my ear. Oh, sorry. Well, alley-oop, Harold. Alley-oop, what a corn ball. Hang on to the trellis, Doc. I said the trellis. Oh, here we go. Yeah, here we go. Hey, it's kinda nice up here. I float through the air with the ground. Doc, will you cut that out and show Marvin the puppy? All right. Here he is, Marvin. If you reach down, you can hold him. Well, Marvin, you can have him if you come down. Why should I come down? What's going on up there? Is Marvin coming down? No, Harold. The puppy's staying up. Oop. Yee-gods. Thanks a lot for the puppy. Oh, young man, you don't wait until that fire department gets here. Doc, steady down there, Harold. You're rocking the boat. Stay, Harold. I got hold of the... Well, I declare acrobat. What? You two going in the circus? Is the fire department coming? Well, it can't for a while, boy. They're playing baseball against the mattress factory team. They got six more innings to go. What a fire department. Say, Harold, will you boost me up a little higher? Maybe I can see the game from here. I hope the mattress factory skunks them. Today this has been. I was so proud of Marvin when I took him to school this morning. Here it is, three o'clock. And he's still perched up there on the roof with Doc's puppy, too. Oof. Now, who's that? Maybe it's the fire department with that ladder. About time they finish that ballgame. Hello, Mr. Ham. Oh, hello, Miss Teacher. Miss Turner. Come in. Thank you. Sorry, Marvin didn't come back to your class today. Well... I'm going to have a little talk with him as soon as the fire department gets here. I mean... Before you do, I'd like to have a little talk with you, if I may. With me? Oh, of course. Mr. Ham, I've seen parents who do too little for their children, and then I've seen parents who try to do too much. Oh? I know you meant well when you brought Marvin to school this morning, the way you had him dressed, your efforts to get him started. Well, thank you. But I'm afraid it gave the other children the impression that Marvin was a sissy that he couldn't stand on his own. It did? Well, that's why he had that fight with Jerry. That's why he's ashamed to go back to school now. Oh, I see. A school is a sort of a miniature world, Mr. Ham, and self-respect is important there, too. Oh, of course. I had a little talk with Jerry, and he understands now. In fact, he's waiting down at the school playground right now for Marvin. He wants to apologize. He does? Well, I think I better apologize to Marvin myself. Thanks a lot, Miss Turner, for helping me understand. Excuse me now. I ought to go out and climb an elm tree. It was a little stronger, and I thought it was. Hello, puppy. Cute. Marvin, just in case you decide to go to school tomorrow, I don't want you to wear that blue-surge suit. You don't? No. I think it better dress like the rest of the guys. And don't you expect me to drive you down there, either. You'll just have to walk like the other fellas. Really? And Marvin? Yes? There's a friend of yours waiting for you down at the playground right now. He wants to apologize for thinking you were sissy. He knows it wasn't your fault, but it was all mine. Oh, gee, Harold, you're a swell guy. Yeah. Better run along. Don't keep Jerry waiting. Okay. Let's go, puppy. I'll climb down the tree after you. It's so long, Marvin. Little Marvin's happy again. He does look kind of silly in that blue suit. Well, all I gotta do now is get down from this tree. Pretty small branches. I have to be careful. Good thing I made it back in the roof. How am I gonna get down? Hey, hey, I'm back, Harold. Pete, thank goodness. Well, I do declare, Harold. Now, you're up on the roof. Don't you want to go to school with me, either? Pete, I'm stuck up here. Is the fire department coming with that ladder? Well, not for a while, boy. That matters. In fact, we just tied the score in the ninth inning. This game might go on all night. What? Yeah, well, I gotta get on back to the ballpark. It don't go away, boy. Pete! Pete! Well, anyway, I can see the game from here. Come on, fire department, let's win this game. You have just heard the Harold Perry show, Honest Harold. The supporting players tonight included Jane Morgan, Polly Bear, Butch Covell, June Whitley, Sammy Aug, and featured Gloria Holiday as Gloria, and Joseph Kearns as Old Doc Yak Yak. Norm and McDonald directed, and the music was composed and conducted by Jack Meakin. Pretty few, isn't it, Bob? It is. Honest Harold, created by Harold Perry, was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson. Oh, yeah, a couple of... Ladies and gentlemen, Judy Garland will be Bing Crosby's guest on CBS tonight. And later, on most of these same CBS stations, you'll hear the broadcast of the middleweight fight between Chuck Hunter and Roy Barnes at the Olympia in Detroit. Ask them if they got a ladder, will you, Bob? So... So, stay tuned now for the Bing Crosby show, which follows immediately on most of these same CBS stations. This is Bob LeMond speaking. This is CBS, where you thrill to suspense on Thursday night, the Columbia Broadcasting System.