 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. In this one we're going to be talking about when the narcissist realises they lost a trustworthy friend. Which is what you were to them. You were this person that they could trust and depend on. This person who is always there for them. When they said jump, you said how high. You remained loyal and devoted to them the entire time that you were with them. You were always there for them. But in actuality, despite the title of this video, and not only this video, but many other videos as well with similar titles, the reality is and the truth is that the narcissist never realises that they lost a trustworthy friend. They never realises that they lost that in you. They can't even perceive all that. Because narcissists are always in exploitation mode. They're predators. They're just seeking to manipulate, control and exploit you. They are often unconsciously looking for someone who they can trust to some degree. But at the same time, they later end up devaluing you. They end up putting you down and they start to see all of these things wrong with you. They become very paranoid and delusional to where they think that you're out to get them so they've got to get you first. So they're never really looking at it like you are someone that they can depend on. Even though that's exactly what they do, they do depend on you. But they don't really trust you. Because of course they already know all of the things they've done to you. They manipulated you, they lied to you, they future-faked. They abused you. So they assume that at some point, you're going to seek revenge on them. And they're very paranoid and hyper-vigilant. They're just expecting it, they're waiting for it to happen. That one day you're going to turn your back on them or you're going to expose them. Because they already know that they're bad, they're no good. And someone like that, someone who knows that they are wicked, immoral, foul and corrupt. How can someone like that ever think that they've got a real one by their side? They don't really believe that anyone would actually desire to be in their corner. Because they already know that they're no good. So even though you may be a real one for the narcissist, or at least you may have been this dependable person, this trustworthy friend, that does not change how they perceive the situation. Because they look at things very differently based on what they know about themselves. And while they may often project this image of perfection, as though there's nothing wrong with them and everything wrong with you, deep down of course they know the truth. That is why they engage in all of these manipulation tactics. That is why they devalue and degrade you. That is why they abuse you. Because it's constantly resurfacing their shame. And they already know that they are bad. And to operate at that level of those emotions, that frequency, they can never recognize in you as you are. They can never see you as this real one, as this trustworthy or dependable friend. No matter what you do, and I know some of you may have remained loyal to the narcissist your entire life. It doesn't make any difference. It doesn't matter what you do. They are never going to see it that way. In their minds you are actually quite the opposite. Because remember narcissists are very controlling. And they see you as an extension of themselves. So in their minds you are actually very rebellious. You are always acting out against them. Even when you're just thinking for yourself or you're trying to make your own decisions. In their minds that already means that you are not a real one. Because in their minds a real one aligns with them and everything that they want for you. So anything that you do that is outside of their control. To them that automatically means that you are untrustworthy. You are someone that they cannot trust or depend on. And this is the reason why. It's because on one hand they view you as an object that exists to meet their needs. And also you are an extension of them. And yet you're also a separate person even though they don't see you that way. You have your own feelings and needs. Which constantly conflicts and goes against their narrative. Which there's to them that you are actually very rebellious. As though you're always going against them. And there really isn't too much you can do about that. It's like you just have to be this puppet on a string for them. You have to be their door mat, their robot. You have to just jump to their every command and never think for yourself or have your own feelings. And they know for a lot of you that's what you become. It's like you feel so dead inside. You can't even smile or laugh like you used to. You don't even feel like yourself. You can't even remember the last time you actually did something for you. Because you have to constantly conform to their standards and expectations. Which are in line with their view of you as an extension of them. But naturally as humans, of course we're not robots. No matter what they do to us. No matter how they try to keep us down. And they try to get us to conform to being an extension of them. A separate part or component of them. Where we are attached. No matter how much they try to do that. It's like no matter what we always have our own thoughts and feelings. And they detect that. And it leaves them to believe that we are very untrustworthy and rebellious. As though we are always acting against them outside of their control. Which makes them very insecure. And of course that is why they're so controlling. To keep you in the box. Where they can then view you as an extension of them. And then dump their emotional waste onto you. They can use you as their emotional punching bag. Or their emotional tampon. To where you absorb and soak up all of their emotional waste. Because that's really what they want for you. They don't even view you as a friend. They don't view you that way at all. You are their enemy, their opponent. They are very envious of you and that is why they're so competitive. That is why they're always comparing themselves to you. And they're trying to keep you down. So that you are lying with their narrative. And then they can keep you as an extension of them. Because remember narcissists cannot regulate their own emotions. They need someone to be their external regulator. Because they're very anxious and depressed and never at peace with themselves. So they regulate their emotions through you. If you're down, they're up. And you will notice this when they're in a bad mood. They're feeling down. It's like as soon as they abuse you, they insult you. Straight away they calm down. They start feeling better about themselves. Because they've extracted that energy from you. And it's making them feel better. But then you feel down. You feel bad about yourself. And that's all that they really do. That's what they view you as. You're just an extension of the narcissist. Your narcissistic supply. To make them feel powerful or important. Desirable and attractive. Or whatever else they deem to be. Something where they are superior, where they are greater than you. Because you're like their measuring stick. You're their reference point. And if they're above you. If they're able to keep you down. And they can feel better than you in that moment. Then that means they're doing okay. Because unknowingly to you. In a lot of ways, yes, they do actually look up to you. They do see you as being greater than them. And that... That is actually true. And that is why they do what they do. Because remember. The roots cause or basis of narcissism. It all comes back to envy. They are envious of you. And that is why they do what they do. If they were not envious of you. They wouldn't be doing that at all. They would be doing something else. They would be focused on their own lives. But instead, no. They're constantly focused on you. They're constantly suffocating you. They're constantly over your shoulder. Because they view you as an extension of them. As though you're like this attached part of them. It's like when you hold your phone. The phone is an extension of the human body. That's how we use it. With the narcissist, we are the extensions of them. And they use us to feel better about themselves. Which is really crazy when you think about it. Because everything they're getting. Everything that they think is making them feel better. It's all coming from us. They're stealing bits and pieces of us. And yet a lot of them are in denial. Or they just don't see it that way. But that is exactly what is happening. And that's why the longer you spend with them. It's like you don't even know who you are anymore. And you feel drained and lifeless. All of your energy just goes away. Because it's going to them. So that is exactly what is happening. And that is why they will never see you as a trustworthy friend. They're never going to look at you that way. No matter how much you may wish that they would. No matter how much you may wish that they could just be a trustworthy friend to you. And you feel like you have to help them. You have to earn their trust. You have to show them that they can trust you. When in fact by doing that you are just wasting your time. Because they will never trust you or anyone else. They experience a lot of trauma in their childhood. Abuse and neglect. And from that point on they believe that the world is not very safe. They accepted that they could not trust people. So now they don't trust anyone. And if you've noticed they're very paranoid and hyper-vigilant. They're always scanning their environment for threats. Especially from you. Which is why they're always over your shoulder. They're always suffocating you. They're always watching whatever they think that you are doing. They've always got to be there. They can't even leave you alone for five minutes. They've always got to be around you. And yet they portray it as though it's because of you. You can't be trusted. When in fact it's because they're very distrustful. And this is manifested from their childhood. Something happened to them when now they cannot trust anyone. And everyone that they surround themselves with. They're just supplies. Even their enablers and flying monkeys. They're all just supply. Narcissists don't have any friends. They don't really connect with anyone. Because they don't trust anyone to let them get that close. They have all of these different characters. That they give to different people. But they never let anyone in. And the odds are that they never will. Unless something happened to them. And they were in a crisis. And they lost all or at least most of their flying monkeys and enablers. And then they realized that they have no other choice. But to trust in someone or something. Or at least to give you a chance. And to let you see the real them. Only if they think that that will help them. But otherwise other than that type of situation. It's likely that you will never see that. And they're never going to see you as a trustworthy friend. But you've got to look at it like. Why should you even care? Why should you even want them to know that they lost a real one in you? I mean you've got to look back and remember what this person was doing to you. They manipulated you. They lied to you. They sold you a dream. They devalued and degraded you. They future faked. They abused you. And again they may have even discarded you and triangulated you. And started a smear campaign against you. I mean a person like that. Why should we even want to be a real one? A dependable person. A trustworthy friend. Someone like that. Someone who only saw us as an extension of them. To just manipulate our emotions. And never seeing us as who we were or are. With our own separate person. With our own separate feelings and needs. Sometimes that's just how we've got to think. But the reality is that they will never realize that they lost a real one in you. A trustworthy friend. They will just realize that they lost an extension of them. And that will cause a narcissistic injury. They will come back to try to control you and put you in the box. So that they can then use you again to regulate their emotions. And that is the only thing that's going to happen. It's not going to be any different. Everything you saw in them it was a false character. They gave a false character to you. And they gave false characters to everyone else as well. We are all just extensions of the narcissist. Or objects that they use to meet their needs. And that's all that it really is. There's nothing else outside of it other than that. So we have to just let it go. This character we have to grieve it. Recognize that it wasn't real. It never even existed. It was a figment of our imagination. A shared fantasy. They just sold you a dream. They weren't about any of that for real. But to see a more positive side of it. You were about that for real. And you can take those qualities and dreams. And go on to share that with someone else. Because someone else will appreciate it. And they will be able to share that with you. But with the narcissist. You're never going to have that with them. They're never going to see you that way. Because of their childhood traumas. The abuse and neglect that they experienced in childhood. Which led them to become very distrustful. Very paranoid and hyper-vigilant. To where they've got to beat you to the punch. They've got to get you first before they think that you're going to get them. Because of all of these things. And how they now have to see you is an extension of them. They're never going to realise. That yes, in fact. They lost a trustworthy friend. Even though. Yes, I do believe that they recognise. Many of us are empaths. Yes, I do believe that they recognise that. But they see it as though. We are just using our empathy. To manipulate them. To gain an advantage and to get one over on them. So that we can get them when their guard is down. And the last thing any narcissist wants is to be seen as foolish or naive. To be seen as stupid. Or ignorant. To where they were susceptible to an attack. Because they believe that you cared about them. Or that you were trying to help them. No narcissist is ever going to put themselves in that position. They're never going to let themselves be on the other end of it. They're always going to try to be two steps ahead of you. So that they can get you before you get them. Because they're always anticipating an attack. They already know that they're bad. They know they're no good. They know the wrong that they've done to you. So the last thing they're ever going to do is be vulnerable. They're never going to be that around you or anyone else. So I hope this shared some light on this topic. I know it can be confusing when you see these titles. A lot of people are saying how the narcissist realises that they have lost a real one, a real friend. So I hope this clears that up anyway. We've got 113 live viewers. 38 thumbs ups. So if you found this video helpful, you can give it a thumbs up down below. And let me know what you thought of this video too. Let me know your thoughts if you agree with it or not. Or your opinions on this topic. You can let me know in the comments down below. Share the video. And hit that subscribe button as well. And you can book a coaching session with me. On my website. It is Narxiviver.co.uk. And check out my Instagram as well. It's Narxiviver YouTube and Instagram. New pictures and videos of my travels every day on there. Yes, this is just how it goes. The narcissist will never realise that we were the realest. The person that they could depend on, the person that they could trust, they will never realise that yes, in fact, as empaths we are the real ones. And they will never realise that because they're not real. They lack effective empathy. They display these false characters. So how can they ever recognise how real you are? If they're not even real themselves. Anyway, I hope this video helped. And as always, I will talk to you in another one very soon.