 So, I recently got a message on my YouTube comments and I just want to quickly read it to you. I have to put on my trusty glasses. I should have just memorized it. But it said, I wish I could find a man that will put in as much effort as I do. I wish I could find a man who would put in as much effort as I do. And I recognize that a lot of women feel like they put way more effort into the relationship than men. And I think that's predominantly because throughout history, I mean literally since Neanderthal days, women on some level have been dependent upon men, in other words for survival, for protection, for just even, you know, to be fed and whatnot. So I, and that really goes up until about 50 to 60 years ago. For the most part, women have always been in a codependent relationship with men. So I can understand why, and I'm not saying this is an absolute, this is just an observation I have, but I can understand why many women feel like they put in more effort because in some ways, literally, it's biological for them or it's instinctual, excuse me, that they nurture the relationship more so than men because men were out there hunting and providing and protecting and that sort of thing and women were the nurturers. So they oftentimes nurtured the relationship more than the men did. And I know most women would prefer that to not exist. And so I think it's important for women in particular to understand the three types of men who are in the active dating pool, the three types of men who are in the active dating pool today. Now, again, my channel is for those in midlife, which is after baby making years and before retirement. So most of my audience is between 42 and 69, although a lot of 20 and 30-year-olds watch my content. I just want to differentiate really quickly with the chart I'm about to show you, the three types of men in the dating pool. I think it's important to recognize that men in their 20s and early 30s, oftentimes, when they genuinely are on the hunt for the mother of their children, they operate a little bit differently than those in the midlife category, because roughly about 75% of singles over 40, five years old are divorced. So it's just you have to recognize that there is a big difference for those who have gone through divorce versus those that are just in the beginning stage of their life. They're basically like a blank sheet of paper. And yet as we age, we accumulate, we call it baggage, but we accumulate a lot of luggage in our lives. And because of this luggage, because of these experiences, oftentimes men fall into these three categories. So I want to just show you my newest chart. I tried to print this out, but my printer isn't working. So I want you to see here, it says three types of men, three types of men in the dating pool. And you can see in the first category, it says users. Oh, by the way, really quickly, this is not a fact. It's merely an opinion. And the next category are spenders. And the next category are growers. And I roughly say that users represent about 20% of this scale. Spenders spend 60% and growers spend about, or excuse me, not spend, are about 60% of the male population. And the growers are 20%. And I'm probably being a little bit generous with the growers. So let's talk about the users for a second. The users are men. They oftentimes come on strong. They're love bombers. They're players. They really are only in the dating process for their own needs being met. I'm going to repeat that. They're in the dating process for their own needs being met, which quite frankly, everybody dates from their own perspective first. Men do this. Women do this. It's just natural to want to get your needs met. The users are mostly in the need of feeling a bit of superiority and control. And that's why they come on strong so they can be in control. They're players. They're very suave and charming. They can be in control. And it's usually a short-lived dopamine hit for them. I'm going to repeat that, a short-lived dopamine hit for them. In fact, to some degrees, it's very much like the hunting process. You go out and hunt. You catch your food. And then once you've caught the food, the dopamine is over. You went to war. You fought the enemy. And you survived the dopamine as soon as that's over. And even the seduction of a woman back in caveman days. Because there's this fantasy that men were these totally chivalrous beings at caveman days. I mean, where is that? I mean, not that I've heard that per se. But I feel like ladies have this fantasy about men being ridiculously chivalrous. Look at the Darcy's of the world in Pride and Prejudice. That was a fucking movie. And those were noble people. And by the way, noble people could be big time fucking jackasses. Noble people could be big time fucking jackasses. And common people oftentimes could have been had more class than noble people. So that's the users. Now, I'm going to talk about the growers for a second. These are men who, and I think I'm being generous when I say it's about 20% of the population. But these are the men who genuinely want commitment with someone. They genuinely want commitment. And they've come to terms that they're ready to take care of someone. I repeat that they're ready to take care of someone. Now, much like the man in their 20s and 30s that are seeking a wife, when a man makes that decision to actually say, I'm ready to at least take care of someone or commingle with someone else and build from there. Hence why they're called growers and builders. When they reach that mental mindset before they ever date, they operate from a completely different premise. They operate from a place of intentionality. They actually are willing to do the work to actually build the roots for trust. And they're not driven by their penis. They're driven by their heart. Those are the growers. And I know you all women covet that. The reality is, is you have an 80% chance or greater of meeting the spender or the user. The spenders are men who are seeking connection and companionship and coupling or sex. Okay, connection, companionship, coupling or and or sex. Without any direction, without any intentionality, without any clear desire of commitment. And while they might say they want a relationship, well, a relationship can be connection, companionship and sex, but it doesn't necessarily mean commitment. In fact, a lot of men will say, I don't know what I want. Well, and now here's the thing. In this illustration I have, we have the spectrum. Okay, so in the spender category, which is probably the highest percentage of the, where you're probably picking from, they could either be closer to the spectrum of users or they could be closer to the spectrum of growers. Okay, now this is why I created a private coaching program. By the way, there's a link below to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. My whole coaching program has helped you to ask the right questions to determine, is he the user, the spender or the grower? So check out the link for a free discovery call with me. I help you formulate the questions based on your personality, based on your personality and your genuine desires in relationship because not every woman wants the same thing.