 Ripped her lips off you ripped her lips off You can see sound watch this Matt remember how I used to do the knife thing This is the new scissors thing oh Cut very close to his skin and that it finds him. I hated that it was you had to trust Marty with it Well, you're a lot dude there were times I got stabbed in the face Not by you by Luke one of our other friends at on New Year's Eve party I never fucked that up. I really really was far too confident with that game. I but I would move So I would move as you eventually yeah, yeah, you got used to it But I still remember there were times in that hostel in London. I would people strangers Well, not strangers We'd met them but only known them for a few days or a week or something Standing all around me in the kitchen cooking and I just got the fucking Biggest knife I could find and just started doing it in the entire room and everyone was completely frozen You panic you see everyone panic and then the panic gives me more fuel and I used to I knew when to move with you and when to be still but this night I did it on New Year's I moved in the wrong movement and it stabbed me right in the cheek Well, we're talking about guys is picking up and and don't do this my god Yeah, we did this so you don't have to you you pick up a knife And then we would stab around our friends like while they were just standing there spots and like, you know Get just close to them, but not obviously stabbed them. It's very dangerous We do not recommend and we don't do that anymore But I'm new thing. I've just found that scissors doing that close to someone's face because if you nip their lips or something That's a snip there. That's a snip It can snip your skin right off that bit. Yeah, it's definitely definitely I don't like it fucking out it is So there you go What happened on the fucking weekend friends? We got we got fucking we had a bit of a surprise party for our fucking mate Jimbo Johnson was his birthday. He had no idea. That's the first like so I think I've been to a couple but too drunk to remember, but that was the first one. I was like a Surprise that worked and he was genuinely surprised. Have you ever had somebody was getting laid? You've never had you've thrown a surprise party for me. Yeah, and I've had another one when I think I was like 23 Have you had a surprise party? No, I've never had a surprise party. I'm one sort of did one for me last year Just the boys rocked up. Oh, yeah, we surprised and we all went out Oh, yeah, no, I'm not Anyway fucking great night got high just fucking had a bloody blast playing Dyson shit And then on the way home at the editor of this podcast Connor lives like like not even five minute drive away from our man James and We'll drive and home and like it was like what midnight 1 1 a.m. It was midnight. I think I'm gonna have a meal in the car. By the way, we were so yeah Yeah, we took a meal. I'm sorry And we were like fucking let's swing by Connors and just I'll just yell out the window or something But we stopped in front of corners at 12 and I just start like screaming as Loudly as I can but like so loudly that it doesn't even sound like a scream anymore It sounds like like someone's Overscreaming and like well like while they're being killed. Yeah, it sounded like the most fearful scream ever Like it's so yeah, it's too loud. Sorry. It would peak it would break something. Yeah, but just Just screaming as I was in hysterics. It was that like he reached a new level of Name like five times and then fuck at the end and then we drive off and then Yeah, attacked it was very funny like would have woke his neighbors and shit like fucking good shit very very funny and Then like 10 seconds later after we drove off. He sends me this message Can't that woke me up? I was so scared He was genuinely scared because the way I was screaming his name was Attacking you Imagine and like yeah fucking because Connor lives with other people imagine just like having a housemate that Just that shit happens If you haven't heard the other shit, we've done the Connor. It's so good. There's been times where we've got like 15 of us to sort of surround his house and chant his name. Yeah, that's I don't know. I think we did. Yeah. Oh Chatter, we're gonna whenever we go to James James is like the main place we always go to and you know, there's like 10 15 of us sometimes and we'll just yeah, we'll just get bored relate It's almost like a bit of a bit of like a tradition now Yeah, me and James one time just took his bins up for him like really violently And I saw him just look out the window like this for ages and he was sort of frozen It was like a standoff with him It was like one of those windows where you can't see clearly through but you can see the shadow of them and it was so funny Like it ended with us walking around further and he he was so like he looked at me like we're such concerned Like it was all worth it Okay, very good. He's so scary like he constantly imagine the roommate and and just sitting there on the couch watching a Saturday night movie probably stone and then you look up and there's like 15 people out front of your house Chanting oh It's necessary. It's so good. It needs to happen. Imagine if a rapist rocks up at his house Yeah, I think it's just being loud and comes in and call. Oh, don't worry. He's probably just matting on Michael Before he knows it. He's just getting You know really badly hurt and raped Oh How did we go with swearing? I can't do it anymore. Just we've been okay. It's rapist swear word. No, but Tash to here It's like a hurt. It's like a it's a perfect word for that Scrape Vaugh, yeah, it's good. Scrape. The word is right in it tape. So it's like therapist The rapist Of the cockatoo We got a fucking email from the Lord Mayor and meetings back on So on Tuesday the 19th of October, I think that's when we go in and we have a chat to the Lord Mayor If you guys want us to ask him something. Yeah, comment it. Just like comment what you want us to ask the Lord Mayor I've got a bunch of questions already Guess what we did today Today was fucked. I feel so sick still we got a bit of a good reaction from the you laugh You lose video we did for our website and there's a bit of shit involved All right, like us shitting in front of each other trying to make each other laugh So and we've been getting lots of comments people saying I'll redo the laxative challenge so we stupidly This morning brought a whole thing of laxative juice from the chemist necked half of it each Because last time it took like seven hours for it to and it wasn't even that bad But we had probably more than we did this time. Yeah, exactly We had more the first time it felt like but this time we went out filming and Fucking stupid little UFC brand deal that we're gonna do and it just hit us Started way should we cut that? No, fuck that. It is a stupid little video for the UFC So anyway, we love the UFC. Yeah. Yeah, no just this particular video that we have to make for them is shit Yeah, brand deals are hard work sometimes anyway, we started cramping up. We raced home Can't well we need to film this now and after the first event of the laxative Olympics Michael just like let's loose dude You don't know we haven't told you about this. We wear white. I'm the reason why I was fucking was like I was peer pressured into doing it because I was upset about what happened to me and wait. This is See I didn't even know nothing was in there then a like see I'll get all weird after fucking holding them in sweet Apparently it comes out of your pores if you hold them in Fucking hell. Yeah, like I'll Google it. Okay, right now. It's risky business because yeah We had a lot of laxatives. So then it could have gone wrong. Yeah, that was it's made it's more exciting It's the laxatives have made me quite gassy. Yeah, and I like I didn't shit anywhere near as much as you did Oh, dude, okay, but back to the story, but if you need to do that again, that's fine Don't okay peer pressure into shitting because I'm I've lost the race I'm on the ground because it was a leg race very difficult your hop race your feet are tied together So I'm sort of like recovering. He shits on my back That's all I have now I Will have more I will go get more on with the story On with the story my friends. He shits on my back and Look at this point we because we'd had the laxatives like seven hours beforehand Fuck we shouldn't probably tell the story. Well. Yeah, let's not look. We're not gonna tell the whole thing but Michael When he finally let go it was it was shocking to see shocking Dude, I know we're gonna we're gonna steer away from some shit Yeah, for a little bit cuz like like I'm a bit ashamed and I was even thinking after that video that I was like Like I'm not proud of that man That's like, you know, it's fucking it's not our finest moment, but like it's not that bad It's just poo. Look at Matt. Look at the disappointment in his face the laxative Olympics Matthew Well, we wear white underwear. You guys are fucked. Yeah And that's like that's it's our thing where the fucked guys Where the shit dude, we're just the two fucking like are they crazy? Are they gay? Are they fucking you know relevant anymore? Are they retarded? That's us. Where the we make you question whether we're learning difficulties Yeah, that's regardless Which makes us all makes us the best All of those reasons. I think Bosley might need to shit. Do you mind just opening the doors? I was scared to lose him and I don't worry about it. He wouldn't never run away. Oh But yeah, it was a rough day like Just I had a shower. Yeah. Oh big shower shit all through his fucking shoes and socks Anyway, so that's the website video coming out this week. Let's fucking after that shit story We'll go quickly talk about man scaped Man scaped sponsors this podcast. All right, so that fucking they say flicks be a cash Right and what we can do for you that means you just get a discount code, right? Do you know what that is? You don't I don't look look look you get a discount, right? All you got to do is say our code fully actual 20 or one word fully actual 20 You get 20% off just like that. That's it. We got to do is say it and they give you 20% off So if you want to buy man shit, you got shavers You got ball cleaners and fucking deodorant just lots of cool shit that you you sort of need But you didn't know that you needed Oh, yeah, very nice. Fuck that feels good. So manscape.com buy some Have it just have a look first because I'm probably not explaining it very well But they do have the best of ball trimmers to date. I'd say In the business in the business. I used one. Yeah, we all use them. So manscape.com fully actual 20 Go on hit a mark, right? Love you manscaped Love you so much. We better invoice them soon And of course the other sponsors us University of Markle subscription website where we post scat porn weekly Only lately only the last couple look it's a you laugh you lose. It's like it's just we just chat to make our mates laugh You know what a shock your friends to make them laugh and he bought a golly bottle all over himself. So it's like shocking So it's funny You know what if people don't think it's not funny. They're wrong That is fucking hilarious Shitting is hilarious No, but we post like our half an hour Weekly vlogs just about our lives and just videos that we make we can't post the social media Sometimes we shit sometimes we shit in the videos most of the time like 90% of the time. There's not shit in the videos Yeah, it's just like now and then yeah, and you're just it's unlucky that we've now just filmed two shit videos. Yeah Is that explain it for you Matt? Does that make you feel a little bit better? You're gonna sign up? No No and no Unbelievable bossy you really starting to like what what do you stand a near the bin for? But anyway, that's the fucking shit talk this week. We've got a fucking jam-packed fucking episode Don't we the farting segment? Oh, I'm so excited. We've do we've been listening to the submissions Very good. Okay, very good. Keep them coming. There's some fake ones and what you can hear them the fake ones, but Then keep them coming submit your fart Okay, film yourself fighting. That's the best or maybe like film like a single Yes, something while you fart so we get the audio and a funny reaction But just keep sending them in the sounds are hilarious. Who doesn't like a fire? Very good So you can send in your fart submissions to at Marty and Michael fully actual Instagram or at Marty and Michael Instagram too But probably better off to the fully actual because we get swamped sometimes claim claim claim So you fucking send them in and if you just remember guys if you can't send in your farts one second. Yes Yes Pushed it then, but that was danger. Is it risky? Yeah, that was danger. It feels like baby. Oh Man, maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's maybe she's born with that. No, she's fucking hideous. Yeah, I'm only fucking Maybelline Yeah, you're fucking hair if you can't send in your farts sign up to the website or fucking buy men's game She that's fine. It's fine. Okay. We don't ask If you feel like it like the video Comments something can't think of something comments comment comment or we're the best very common Well, tell us a little story story. You're your favorite car funny sentence. Tell us a secret a little secret. Maybe All right guys, it's fuck dietary time. All right, you guys fucking these guys fucking their head Aren't they? It's up in the air. We'll see diary entries diary entry diary entry number 140 from Michael Cory Brookhouse. I Looked in the mirror today and thought I see you be I promise me Can sight see or sound hear do feelings have feelings or am I clang? Whatever your reason for being is be more of it be more being be more be Anyway, I'm off to the shops for some lollies Very philosophical You're very mark. We used to go to the shops and just buy lollies for dinner. Yeah. Oh, yeah Those gummy trolls Trolly burgers and geckos for dinner packets of them packets of paddle pops I Scream cakes sometimes too Ice cream cakes. Yeah, the Viennese. Oh, yeah, I wasn't a huge fan of them. I mean there were some nights I saw you get I'd get the whole your eyes light up come Custom for breakfast custom for breakfast. I like how you include some clings Anyway, anyway, sorry Bosley. Can you come on man? Direntry number 100 temp my Today, I had to skin the rats dad had caught for dinner. We can't afford knives So I have to rip the skin off with my bare hand. It is very difficult I hope we catch a fish or even a cat tomorrow. It's hard to sleep because my tummy rumbles. It was a pretty good day Oh, oh, that's saddened so far. Oh Oh Direntry number 69 from Julian James Tennyson Woods from Ashgrove 40 60 until he dies Today I did some burnouts on my scooter. Yeah, I'm fucking drinking Get a few of the boys down and yeah Got a few frothies waiting in the freezer stab stab all we need now is a few rippers Yeah Stop push. No, but it should be a sick night. I'll catch you tomorrow diary. I love you diary I'm so grateful I can express my vulnerability so freely in you and now you don't pass any judgment on me diary And I do find myself being sexually attracted to you diary Even though you're just a small book But yeah, anyway stab up across stabs dad. Oh Wow, so Julian's into items Just diaries, maybe This we can get fucked a it looks uncomfortable Diary entry 10077 from Matthew Gregory fucking brown Fucking brown a fucking hell. It was a stormy evening and I just finished stuffing my pillows with human hair Now my entire bed was made from human remains bones for the frame skin for the blanket and pillow covers and human hair for the stuffing My biological mother choir had inflicted some near-fatal wounds. So I slept for six days straight as I healed I was more confused than ever and needed some answers my brother and mother were out plotting an attack to have me I Cannot have them have me and must have them both Having been had before has me having to have again I waited for nightfall and slithered backwards to my father's place. Yes, that's right slithered backwards I Arrived at my father's and burst into his house I stormed into his bedroom and got right under the cunts nose right in his fucking face What the fuck what the fuck I pushed him back into a wall and he looked confused and scared man What are you doing? Why is there mints on your shirt? What the fuck didn't you tell me about choir dad? Choir who the fuck is choir cut the shit cat or bite your cheeks off I lunged at my dad Open mouth, but he caught me and pushed me aside I laid six large eggs and banged them into my own head as fast as I could I charged again as my father did We both got a firm grip of the other my hands on his hips and his hands on my hips I was locked and we started fuck thrusting our hips backwards and forwards at exactly the same time Our hips were colliding together over and over bang bang bang bang bang bang Now hips banging together sounded like a jackhammer on cement I felt my father weakening and began headbutting him smooching his entire nose into a flash pancake across his face I threw him onto the ground Please I don't remember a choir. Do you have a photo? So dad I reached into my phone and opened Facebook. I found a few pictures Of her on questants page and saw dad's face change Yeah, Matt, I do remember her now. I was so drunk. I don't even remember her name The only reason I remember her is because she did this thing where she would blink really fast right next to my dick and her eyelashes Would flick against my knob and it would make me come But that's it man. You have to believe me. She's dangerous Matt. Very strong and very twisted. She's my real mom dad I said Yes, she could be I don't know who dropped you on questing off and I was fucking more methods than I could keep track of at that stage I'm so glad she did drop you done that. I love you. I embraced my father and we had a touching heartfelt moment I came it was time for me to start training That's a touching moment is coming with dad Fucking hell dude. I Quiet is like a full-on Sick demonic bitch. Not really human. I would cause it sounds like she's from some other realm to be honest man I've had my suspicions on you too. You can change form from the liquid state to a gas state and stuff like that has me thinking maybe something Do maybe something I'm missing. I would love to see that to see you in two dudes They're just seeing him and his dad just fucking A sight to see I would pay money to see that I would love to watch that like really hard. It would fucking hurt Anyway, thank you Matt. I guess is what I'm trying to say you've You've come through with the goods my friend I Didn't come through with them He did come and now he begins his training for his mother and twin brother question interesting Anyway, it's like how many more than Dragon Ball Z What do you mean Matt? Why do you always ask me this shit? You wrote them? You know how many there are I didn't write them. I just pick one out every fucking week Just read the next page in the book next segment Is the name of this segment and this is where we answer your fucking questions If you want us to answer a fucking question from you We have to do is comment it and we answer the questions that with the most likes So if everyone else and you like your question and we'll probably answer it because we'll go to the top So comment your question and have a scroll through see what other comments you like and give my thumbs up if you like them All right, and yeah, God bless. Okay. We really feel for you guys out there. It's fucked up man It's crazy shit, but just ask us some questions That's fair to say. All right. Oh Matthew Brown top question went to Ryan Fernandez Fernandez All right Question for Michael. Oh Which one of Marty's laughs is your favorite? My favorite laugh of Marty's is when he described a person dying. I Don't remember that part Fuck like that one that you hear like him do he's like that That's that's all fun and games until you are walking through a shopping center And that's all all you And then you've got Families and so many people looking at you Remember once we're in Bunnings and like this worker and this other colleague to work colleagues came up Like are you guys right? I had to explain like oh, yeah, we're fine It's literally like that fan that came up to us today though That laugh and that character is based off of that type of person. Yeah, it was pretty fucking good We found that UFC real life brand deal today and he fucking It was like in a coals where I just choke Michael out and he just ran up to us after and he was like I was like just so so over the top and he just followed us all the way to the car and was just so loud Hilarious very like I was I wanted him around longer. It was very nice. It's like how can someone be so cheerful? It's like it's like you see hope in humanity, but so loud Marty's isn't that it's just this like sarcasm Yeah, and Yeah, it's just you get a constant stairs constant stairs at the shopping center one I do like is the one where you tilted your head back and was like And like oh, yeah, okay, these are better This this is me Fucking hell very good that had different fucking frequencies. It was so good Was levels to that those pops that was like fucking you having rice bubbles. These are all my fat submissions Cocoa pops But yeah, I know what you mean about Marty's like Obnoxious laugh you'd be we've been at dinner before in restaurants and he'll say something really normal. It's like oh, I'm a bit hungry. Hey boys Like everyone looks at you guys like you're fucked Because you've never hear like that fucking laugh and I feel like I've ruined everyone's night But no, it's and then like it starts with a laugh then it gets topped off with a massive far And then it's like all right There's no respect for that table But yeah, it's it's welcome then it's good because if I can it makes me laugh a lot of time Being uncomfortable is fun, I guess I don't even know what my real life is anymore I Think I ever do really laugh genuinely everything is just as a reaction of to sarcasm Everything I feel is sarcastic I feel like the code is coming out That's me caring What's you being grumpy? Far out What about you being sweet Oh Not for that man See that that laugh see it's a new one. I mean every day is a new laugh makes me laugh all of them Buzzy It's like a bird Like a weird bird. Oh my Bosley. Should we continue? Yeah Oh Yeah, next question is from Oz Baba Would you Would you guys turn the new van into a coin van? Yeah, we thought about it, but then we're like, oh, it's just the same And we're getting it wrapped as well, so we're like we don't want to fuck the rap Do you know what I mean? We're getting it wrapped in some of the most again something else I'm not gonna feel comfortable driving Fuck the rap pictures that we're getting yeah, it's not on man. It's like our only fans pictures Next question is from internet cat Question for the podcast. What do you guys think Matt's dad's name is? Oh Creaky I mean you brown Peter no I've forgotten his name I ain't telling you Just take advantage of that Fuck if I heard it once. Yeah What's it start with Matt? I'm not telling just the letter. No, Jeremy. No, it's not a long name. Is it? A little bit it's Kane His name is Kane Next question is from Steven Lucifer is there a chance of both of you wearing green suits For an episode. I would do that for you. Who asked that next time we're at the Steven Lucifer. Yes, I'll do that for you. I promise you okay next time to this Steven Oh Is it too risky It's put gaps in it again puts it puts my whole rhythm out man gaps in the gas. It's my whole rhythm right out Thanks question damn people need something to hear your goddamn damn Matthew Brown Next question is from Sean able Seanable Michael where'd you get that t-shirt from? The one with the wolf The market the markets a wolf t-shirt store in the Gold Coast somewhere. I don't know this A real wolf to few people asked about that shit. Sorry dude. Sorry about that My bad man Don't just let it build up a bit. Yeah Next question is from Donnie Jones. Why is Michael so disgusting in every way possible, but can't stop watching him Compliment sort of That's a compliment. Yeah come oh man I can see that like that being said after the you laugh you lose too. That's not like I'm not really cool anymore I never was It's not a cool fucking Next question Really comment on that is there? Yeah, well, I guess so How can you fucking not become disgusting after? The gullible. No, but you must be disgusting before to be able to do that. Mm-hmm. You were born like that Yeah, true. You were born the way I am able It's the way I am next question is from Justin Bradford Does Matt's family listen to the podcast specifically his diary entries, I feel his parents don't know the real Matt Brown You're all the breasts Do they surely not no? Haha, what would you do if they said that they started listening to it? I try and I try and convince them to stop Do your parents know that you're a bit fucked in the head though like just from your personality I fuck around so much like Like my parents always wouldn't own from high school like just from fucking hanging around You and just the shit we used to how we used to behave that he's not all I would love a bit different Stand with your mother Diary entry All the fuck Of the best part, I think they'd laugh at the fart The feet can't not laugh at the farts and you get when they Good farts. Yeah. Next question is from Chloe Boys is Matt your carer Hmm sometimes when we're fucked on Dude, holy fuck MD MD nights out. We just be sitting there. Fuck not really knowing what's going on because we've had a bit too much And Matt would have to drag us around Reminders where we were and who we are. She also added I sounded so disappointed when When you manage less than a minute minute saying Like a parent um fucking Yeah, Matt and they used to driven us home many times. Yeah, I went through a period of Fucking whether a big period of not drinking this what which what ended up me driving when did we what was that day? We needed the most caring on oh Man, there's been acid days You come to the rescue with strawberries for me. Oh Yeah, I did too. There's also been MD nights where you probably just like I've probably just been like am I in a gym? You know Michael reminding me that we're at a bar and Where I'm at and who I am and shit like that from MD. It's been heaves of occasions I've called you when I'm fucked at parties at the Gold Coast and said come get me and you driven down from Brisbane I did do that Then when you came out in a pink pan there great Kara. Yeah, you drove home. Yeah, exactly He picks me up in this fucking pink onesie So there you go Matty's a time Thank you Matthew for caring. It's all good question from it's question of the parks from the juicy fruit Marty where does to to to come from? It's just a a laugh That and like I don't know if I don't even know the laugh The original laugh that led to that anymore Yeah Then you just kept the start of it Yeah, it's like the start of that. It's not committing to that because it's a big commitment doing that whole big It's just a little giggle You're meeting someone So that's the beginning of that laugh and yet you've all heard someone laugh like that. I know you have It's just an exaggerated thing of something that already exists true Next question from Sam Warner Michael Are you a bit of the Joe Rogan with hair? Why do you know so much about psychedelics and the spiritual shit? like Joe does Michael is a spirit. I have actually Been wanting to fucking tell you guys for ages Here we go. I'm Joe Rogan I'm actually you. Fuck off man dude. I don't buy that for it. Are you really? Yeah, dude. All right so That's that. Holy shit. Well that explains that question. All right. We'll guess we'll see everyone next week Joe, welcome by day all night Oh That's the really wide mouth laugh Do a rest man Joe Oh We see that's what I was that's exactly what I fucking told you that's where it came from. Yeah, so now we can be ourselves That's not even what he says It's sort of that's yeah, it's the fucking Australian version. It's the same sounds People only hear what they want to hear. It's the same sound Uh, uh, next question is from the drummer chick Um Will we ever see quest and make a return to the podcast? Well, that's really up to matt and quest quest and it's nothing to do with us I'd happily have him on again. He needs would you let him to be in an only fan shoot? Yeah, yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, you'd have to ask him I don't know if he wants to do it. Matt. Of course. He wants to have you. He wants to fit in more. He wants to have you Fit in more. I hate him. Yeah I won't be in a photo. I hate him. Yeah. Well, you fucking You guys have fucking had each other your whole lives come do you know what I mean? Family's family, man. You guys have had each other the way you used to talk about having Changes the meaning for it. It's like fucking. Yeah. Oh, I have my wife It's like what you did what come you fucking did what to your wife? Yeah, but you probably would fuck your wife Yeah, but have them Yeah, you have you're not there's no It's having them like Look, I don't want to go into the definition because if once we do then we can't say the word anymore Okay, but having it's too much exactly But it's sort of it's It's fucking you you own that person now if you have them Would you in that moment? Yeah. Okay. So it's pretty much a rape Is that what we're saying? No, we definitely wouldn't go that far Okay, so having like in between sex and rape it's like sort of It's like rough. I don't know. Okay. I'm just fucking reading the diantries. I'm not getting involved in this shit Okay, I don't know what it is. You're not reading them. It's it's a family matter. It's nothing to do with us Next question is from air force one direct you Do you guys believe in those future prophecies like nostradamus predictions? Um, what did nostradamus say again? I don't know, but like, you know, the world will end in 2020 Have you looked up not your nostradamus? I'm doing it right now There's a part. I've watched like a couple of docos on it and apparently like I think he predicted something right He's a frenchess. I'm sure like it's not so dumb. They're usually the 12th century. He's a french astrologer 17 is best known for his book le prophesie. Dear a collection of Fucking some future events on the bogus published in the field 1515 five Doesn't say I've heard people say he predicted 9 11. Um, but you know, I'm sure there's fucking dudes out there He's on another level right day's born with some defecting shit And he knows what's going to go on down up and down the fucking next week in that man. It's fucking true Next question, um Comes from Sabrina. Uh, she's asking, uh, what's happening with the triple m account the cutting one Oh, yeah, yeah the um, yeah, that's that's a work in progress things were ground to a halt Um, but there is it's still something it's it's pretty much a very long-term thing It's like the start a little seed that's growing now. Yeah a little if you want to vape you can go buy vape We're gonna add products to it. Yeah, this time goes on. We've just got to sort some shit out because like Payment providers don't want anything to do with us because we're selling like fucking vapes and shit So it's just a very slow lengthy process, but as soon as there's an update We will let you guys know so don't worry. We'll keep you guys in the loop Okay, just make sure you keep listening to the podcast That's all you have to do. Yeah Matthew Uh, next one is from dr. Quiet Uh, um, he's very sad that the holy He's so scared Sorry, dude go on Mr. Quiet The quiet dr. Quiet you said your mum's name Almost quiet Almost quiet it's same sounding sort of thing reading it be okay. I'm gonna delete this one No, I want to hear it dr. Quiet said he said that the holy artifact is gone as in the golly bottle man. He said, um Well, he says you better be starting another one, but are you starting another one? to be honest like I'm not coughing up as much shit But I have got it. I've got a little glass there and it's just it's not happening as quickly as the last one So it's it's yeah demotivating But you know starting from the start every It's usually around the same time of year you get a bit flaming and a bit Yeah, now it's coming into It'll come back next year. Yeah, all the hot weather's melting or your rubber bullets in your throat Yeah, it'll come back Like it has. Yeah, it is a shame that it's gone, but I feel like it definitely went to a Worthy cause we should maybe just post that snippet To tick tock to only fans. I think we said we would Yeah, we did. Yeah, you want next question only fans guys. We're gonna be fucking Yeah, if you want in case this channel gets deleted, which we're scared it could now That's gonna be our backup place. I don't think we'll get deleted. We haven't had any yeah Well, we're doing all right now again. We have a little sticky little guys just stop swearing at the start No, stop talking about the r word and the u word B words together. What is the u word Matthew? We'll talk about it later. What is the u word uterus urine? Us The next question is from ringworm D um Did b more b just turn into a cult following? Look, it makes it makes sense that it should Do what nah, I'm gonna shit Damn it. Michael's been shitting so much because we had so much lexatives today. Oh, okay. Sorry. Keep going false alarm What was that? What did you just say Matthew Brown? Did b more b just become a cult? Well, I think it's always been in people's minds if they just haven't been able to put words to it Now b more bs come around it makes a lot of sense to a lot of people and I think it's the perfect Platform for it to spring and turn into a movement and I fully believe that I'm right here for you It's the right timing for it. Everyone's fucking scared shitless Hashtag be more b and yeah, everyone's seeking for like answers Be more be like and for the hashtag. Let's just do it be More be because then it's more. Yeah, the bees take it. It's a bit boring It's another tangent. It's another tangent and it you can put it all in one crop But it sometimes it's just better off. It's too full put the hashtag on that side and leave the bees Over there for something else like mine and their own bees their own business like the birds and the bees So it is now officially be more be be be more be be more be Next question is from Conor G. Um That was intense. Yeah, it's hot talking that shit. Um Um, he's asking if there'd be a creepy funny halloween version of the podcast we would do when his halloween Would this be something 31st of october? Yeah, we'll look what we'll do is we'll put some costumes on I might even put a wig on uh, michael put eyeliner on and uh, we'll do the podcast It's halloween every week exactly halloween base maybe Yeah, and we could I could do a prank or where I where I say I'm outside your house to someone scare the shit out of him and like Yeah We could do that to friend. No, I know who we are Connor I'll just cold call people We should just we should find someone send us the number of uh of a phone Someone sent us the number of a payphone at the airport man. Did you know this? Two more left and you guys can continue to ramble um Questions from matthew. Uh, I have a question for marty. Michael. Would you ever get bitten by a western type hand snake? Well, how about any snake? Oh, a venomous one's probably not at this stage Probably not. Oh if they had the anti-venom and it was for like something big Oh, we have fuck so get bitten and then you have the anti-venom instantly Hmm I guess what the venom makes it worse because it's more painful, but Would you get okay take the venom out a normal snake? Yeah, I would it would take me a long time to be okay with it. That's scary as fuck and terrible. They're so sick Yeah, I don't like the snap there Oh, yeah, they don't look like where the fuck are your arms come? Yeah Like they don't have any arms or legs can't it's just one neck It's just too much. It's just a head and a neck. It's a hulls hulls hulls bit me I stood on a hulls and it turned around and bite me Oh my god, that's fucking That is like a 45 year old german woman Hmm They should just be called necks. I'm tweeting that right now Snakes are just necks Look, I'm tweeting it we have we're on twitter now. We haven't told anyone but we're on twitter All right, you didn't even tell me that. Snakes are just necks. They've got a face though in a mount and eyes Snakes are necks Tag necks hashtag fact hashtag spiders Holy shit moly Very good, I guess Yeah, I'm just gonna leave it there. That's fucking great Let's get ourselves a cat on the back everybody. That was a great work everyone Now let's take a fresh look at every one and introduce a brand new segment And this is a segment where we play the farts You have sent us Oh boy. Oh boy. Am I excited? You know how much we love fart It's very important to us. Fart is spelled f a a h t Yeah And that's um a real fun Okay, so Um, because I'll play these first four. We're pretty sure that they're fake like one of those fucking You just fucking get one of those fart apps push up. He's just blowing in them All right, ready and listen to this. We read out who they're from Um, okay, so that some people probably might not want to yeah, okay Um, if you want us to read your name, we'll happily do it. Just look at first names Yeah Okay, I can read first names If you definitely want us to read your name just message your name underneath your fart submission and we'll read it Okay, if there's no name there, we'll just read your first name. All right. This is from bodi What do you reckon? Yeah, I'm gonna say fake. I think that that's fake. Bodi's gonna be so upset with me, but I think it's fake. Yeah I'll say fake too All right, he's got three more. That's the other reason it makes me think it's fake because they're all very different very good The breathing was very very good I'm pretty sure he has what julian has the talent of fart lapping It sounds like he's doing it like with his mouth on his arm or something people can suck air into their Ass. Bodi, if you want to send us any more film it film your film your face at least Um, all right, there's two more. Look, but like you've heard those two. How different were they? Yeah. All right now listen to these two That's pretty similar Yeah, I think he might be like sucking in air like julian can All right last one from bodi That's real. That's very impressive. Okay, very impressive I would suggest maybe getting some tightness though if you can tighten that up Not only can you drag that out that you can the pitch your pitch levels We'll be able to reach those decibels as high high decibels more crackles Yeah, so what I recommend is pulling trying to pull your cheeks apart and tighten your asshole as you do Oh Fuck dude That is a fucking different sound Leaf this is leaf. So he sent another one here Pretty good Um, and that was from leaf. So well done leaf Obviously, not very long, but uh, I love the clips sending the video clips. They're my favorite They please us. All right. Here we go. Here's some good ones. All right. This is from jasek jasek it guy jasek. Oh jasek. I think he tells these. Oh fuck. He's gonna hate me Yasek Oh Like an interesting one Yashik. Oh, there you go. He told us his name. That's him. He's telling matt how to say his name. Yashik. He's not a fart Oh Wet man Oh, he's got organ problems. Yeah, that doesn't sound healthy that one. Is that real? Here we go. There's another one Oh Shocking I like that You can hear it's nighttime You can hear it's nighttime That's what pleases you because it really cuts through the air Crickets in the back there's a couple more a couple more guys nearly done So this guy's farting on his girlfriend, I think yeah Did she get that? Yeah, she turns away. And again, very good Oh Fuck okay one more. He scares his cat Yeah Yeah, is that it? All right, there's more Sour I like this from Oh, it sounds like Oh, yeah with his lips With his lips Thank you. That's not bad. That's my favorite This is my favorite That's what it was like today It's what it's like it's been like today, dude. Yeah, we've all been there It's easy to get a good fart if you're shitty Dude, yeah, but that's like That's a fucking Monday morning. Okay and one more from Jono You always just want a little bit more. Hey, yeah, it's length is good. So that's our first start Bear with us while we fine-tune the process of condensing all the farts together But yeah, that's not a bad start not a bad start at all. There's some good ones I keep them coming and remember the video clips are the best. Okay, ones we can save straight to our What should we call this segment? Fart. Yeah, send us your farts. Yeah Send us your farts. Just fart F-A-H-T exclamation point Is that what it's called? Fart. No, isn't it exclamation mark? How dare you? Sorry Um, I have some secrets and some explains, but we're probably running out of time Okay, fuck. All right, we got to get a move on. All right, the secrets that will fucking bank them for next week So send in your secrets as well. We're fucking love reading them. Don't worry. We won't read your name, Mitchell All right, which leaves us with The fucking P.I. Box and the prank call. Let's open some gifty whifties, baby. Snape No, no, not all of them. We'll go fucking two other counts All right, we have two gifts One is from Jacob Dickinson Oh a frequent from dude Oh, no speak of the devil Donut films. Well, let's start with something nice. Yeah, let's start with donut films that sent us something. Oh, no So this is something else first something nice Please To say who it's from. Yeah, Jacob He's comments a lot. We'll see. Oh, yeah, Jacob. He even talked to him discord. Yeah Oh Fuck me. You spoil us, Jacob. You spoil us Look at all these woey pops And what do we have in here? Oh, what's that some mints? Mints and what are these? Okay, so he's there's a tin of mints but amongst the mints there's these orange pills I just had one. We'll see what they do No, I'm kidding. I didn't really have one to the entire fully actual crew The altoids are the altoids are for julian the suckers are for all of you. What's altoids? altoids However inside the white bag is a virus. I had growing on my toe. It's not contagious. It's basically a wart Sorry, my handwriting is shit. Oh my god Okay, so he sent us some mints and some altoids whatever they are altoids and the mints All right, so mints lollipops and here we have a wart a virus In a jar. Oh, fuck. Oh, okay. Fuck me. I don't want to really here we go Let me get a hold of this and hold it up for you guys. All right, so it's dry. Whatever it is. It's dry It's in a yeah container. Have a look at that Michael. You want to pop that in your mouth? No You can see the wart thing Look, it's like it lasts too clearly Yeah, there's like a weird how do you get it off? Looks like a dead spider. How did you get that off? Jacob? Did you rip that off? So you did Well, we'll keep it. We'll keep it here. Now you're on the table. We've got a part of you on the table Jacob. Thank you, Jacob. And thank you for the treats The wall will pop. Don't get bored. The wall will pop. Now here we fucking go All right, donut films What have you done man? It has sent us a package everyone prepare yourselves. I don't want to see it If Michael's jumping, I'm not Michael. Oh, there's a glad wrap thing in there What is it? Oh, dude, it's like a I'm gonna guess like Whoa, yeah, oh man. There's a giant jar of likes. Oh, it smells Oh, no Oh, no, that's a table. No, what is that? Oh, dude, it reeks. I think it's like like dog food. Isn't it nice or something pigs ears? It looks like an intestine Oh Touching the bag may touching It's an infection way Very good. That's what we that's what we're about. That had piece of shit going on. Thanks guys All right. Now. Yeah, whatever. I don't know what this is. I think that's pigs ears But I don't want to I don't want to risk giving this to bozzly in case it's like his fucking dead granddad's fingernails or some Is there an explanation on that jar? Oh, dude, I'm about to shit He sent us a jar of his piss. What is it? I think it's his piss. Donut films piss. He is Fucking drink some water. Donut films. That's why it smells. That's what reeks. Oh, it's a jar of piss. He sent us a jar of piss That's not bad. I'm cool with that. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, he needs to he's dehydrated. Yeah, that is very dark Very dark piss. It's like this piss already dark after a while Yeah, I wouldn't I wouldn't drink that one. Hey, I'd have to be pretty fucking drunk But uh, yeah, thanks donut films always thanks. Yep. No, that's all every everyone who sends shit We are we asked for weird shit. Yeah, I guess so Not piss specifically. What haven't we been sent yet? Um bodily fluid or like waste earwax I hear we've been sent snot I'm wondering if we could make a communal golly bottle. I could seriously spray water onto this table right now from my ass It's like literally right there. I don't want to see that. Hey, no Matt It's getting bad Well, luckily we only have the prank call left okay Okay, prank call time All right guys time for a fun segment of the dance of prank call time Shit! Fuck me that rigs cunt that fucking smells like shit, cunt Smells sort of clear cleared the air Hello Yes, how are you? I'm very well. Thanks. Um, am I speaking to the massage place? Yes, I'm gonna help you Yeah, great. Um, look, I'm just wanting to book in a massage for myself and my son tomorrow Um, perhaps tomorrow afternoon. Is that something you guys have available or? Yes Great. So what time do you think? um What time do I think tomorrow? Yeah, you tell me Uh, well, how's how's 4 p.m. I finished work at 3 so 4 p.m. It'd be perfect. Thanks. Yeah Yeah, that's okay. That's fine. Okay, great. So for me and my son for an hour Um, can I request that we're in separate rooms? Is that okay? Oh That's okay. That's okay. Great. Um, listen, uh, also just something a little more personal Um, I like to really relax during my massages. Do you guys um, do sort of um You know, uh, give special treatments or anything or is it just sort of the standard massage? Yeah Oh I said, do you guys give any special treatments? Do you know what I'm trying to say? I'm like, I want to be I want to be extremely relaxed If that makes more sense. Yeah, I want to be I want to leave feeling incredibly refreshed and very very relaxed Do you know what I'm saying or Yeah, I do. Awesome. Uh, what about your son? Yeah, the son not not for the son. He's only 15 Oh No, not for the son. Thank you. Um, just just just a standard massage for him and um, I'll I'll have a bit of a Come by yourself What was what was that? Sorry? What about you just come by yourself? Um, what is it possible to do both of us at the same time? Just to save time I can look I can leave him at his father's for an hour. That's fine. I can do that I'm happy to do that for you But if you guys can squeeze both of us into the same time that'd be absolutely ideal because that's saving me an hour of Driving, do you know what I mean? So yeah, if both of us both of us at the same time be perfect. Yeah If you have the room Well, I work here by myself. I mean, I mean, no, that's fine. That's that's totally fine I can leave my son at at his father's. That's no worries. Okay. So how about we do this has this, okay I'll come in at about three thirty if you're available I'll have my clit touch and I'll get there and have a bit of a cum cum Then I'll go and get my son. I'll drop him off at four thirty No, let's say five five o'clock and then I'll come and pick him up again at about six p.m. How does that sound? No problem. All right, you just say it's three thirty here No worries and just to be clear you you do provide the full service So I would like to be fingered and touched and and have my breasts groped and all of that Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then and great sounds perfect julian put me in for three thirty, okay I'm really looking forward to a darling Oh, man, she doesn't want to the sun there was she's I knew the sun had an awkward element. Yeah, very good. Yeah, she didn't want to do anyone don't they Man, that's cray-cray. It's a wacky world. I realized the other day The funniest part about the prank calls is that we don't tell them. It's a prank call. There is Have a hundred people Always think back to that dude that you told that your arm was on fire Oh The girl the jb hi-fi I'm coming I'm coming out the front now And all the final fine ones and that's just crazy. Yeah, it's great to see So small business. Uh, that is the end of today's podcast. Uh, we we felt a bit flat And I'm pretty wrecked to be honest and I need we had to film shit out. We had to film two videos today And we got to film three tomorrow as well as toca And then we got to film another one on fucking thursday So we can have a break at the end of the year and because we got a mate's bucks on friday night So we should have some stories for you come next podcast come Yeah, wow We are the best though everyone have a great week okay get out there and show everyone your true self We are the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best Best Too much too much He's still connected get out. I wish he said head