 Hello everyone, welcome to the Narc Survivor YouTube channel. In this one I'm going to be talking about how the narcissist died a long time ago. Please give this video a thumbs up down below as it will help the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there. The narcissist is not there. Their physical body is there but they are not. Their disorder is characterised by an absence. An absence of self. An absence of distinguishing features. And all that's left is a mirage. A ghost of what once existed but does not exist anymore. Because their true self died a long time ago. It's not there anymore. All that exists is a system of coping and defence mechanisms which makes up their false self. And there is nothing beneath or outside of that. That is all that exists. Which is why when you're having a conversation with them they're never really listening. It's like they're not giving you their full attention as though they're distracted. They're not really there. Even though they may be there physically. Narcissism is characterised by an absence. So even when they're responding to you. It's like they're not really present. Because they're like an artificial intelligence. And they have two modes of operation. Where they're either in their fantasy world because they're bored or disinterested. Or they're responding to their inner critic. Which they may then project onto you. Through the use of criticism, frustration or disapproval. Both modes of operation are a response to trauma. And it's because reality is not how they want it to be. They're not happy. They're dissatisfied. And while they may blame you for that. The truth is that they can't be satisfied. And nothing will ever be enough for them. Because they're disconnected from themselves. They abandoned their true selves a long time ago. And our happiness and satisfaction comes from within. It doesn't come from the external world. So no matter what you do for them. It's never going to be enough to fill that void. And they can't go within to replenish themselves. Because there's just nothing there. There's nothing inside of them. Which is why they have no thoughts or feelings that are independent of their fantasy world or inner critic. That's all that there is. There's no room for anything else. There's no room for other people's identities, personalities, thoughts, feelings, opinions or beliefs. They have no boundaries so they're all encompassing and controlling. They believe that everything belongs to them. And that everyone thinks and feels the same way as they do. But at times they may also be responding to their inner critic. Where they're insecure and defensive and they're expecting or demanding for you to do something for them. To make them feel better about themselves. Because they can't deal with their own self-talk of them but not being good enough. But this voice never really goes away. It's the reason why they're so arrogant and entitled and why they're envious of you. Because their way of thinking is that if they're not enough then they need to take something from you. But no matter what or how much they obtain they never feel complete. Because they have a void that can never be filled. But because they're envious of other people. They also assume that other people are envious of them. They always assume that other people are thinking something towards them. Whether they assume that someone is attracted to them or that someone feels threatened. They're always making these assumptions of other people's thoughts and opinions. Because it supports their narrative of them being powerful, important, desirable or attractive. They often become very paranoid and hyper-vigilant. Where they feel like they have to watch out for other people. Because they always have this inner voice. They're always judging other people. Even though they may not actually know anything about them. Remember to hit that thumbs up button down below. As it does help our community. You may not have ever done or said anything that was directed towards a narcissist. And yet that narcissist will make false assumptions about you. And even believe that they know you better than you know yourself. Because they're very insecure so they have to believe that they've got people all figured out. So that they can feel like they're in control. Which is what caused them to develop a very skewed perception of reality. Where they may have completely misread your intentions and motives. Because they're often just projecting their own insecurities onto other people. Because they never own to accept them themselves. They abandon themselves a long time ago and this is why they're so paranoid. And they view everyone as a threat. Which is why when you're having a conversation with them they won't even listen to you. They will tune out what you're saying. They will seem distracted and unresponsive. Because they're too preoccupied with this voice inside their heads. And it's telling them everything they think they need to know about you. When it's actually just based on past traumas. And it has nothing to do with you. But they will project it onto you so that they feel a sense of direction and control. Which is why you just can't reach them. Because they can't accept your separate existence. They have to view you as an extension of themselves because everything has to be about them. Which is why they really don't care about what you have to say. They can ignore you. They can give you the silent treatment. They can ghost you. Because they really don't care. It doesn't matter to them. It doesn't affect them. They don't care about your feelings. They don't care about what you're doing. It's not important to them. What's important to a narcissist is their feelings and perspective. They're not concerned about anything else. Because all they care about is what they want. Their lack or deficiency of something. And what they decide to possess or do. And anything else is irrelevant. They're not concerned. Which is why everything is one sided. It's all about them. And it is never about you. Unless they can get something out of it. Which means that even then it's still not about you. Because it is a struggle for them to even direct their attention towards you. It's like something they have to suffer. Something difficult and unpleasant they have to tolerate or put up with. Something they have to undergo or live through. It's never a positive or uplifting experience for them. It's just too demanding for them to focus on anything but themselves. So even if they're in a situation with you where they may have to do that. It's going to feel like they're not even there. They may be physically present. But their mind is somewhere else. They're either entertaining their fantasy world or they're in a critic. But they're never being entertained by you directly. They don't even see you. You're just a physical representation of something that they've created in their heads. Which they've then imposed upon you whether you know it or not. And it could be something positive or something negative. But either way it has nothing to do with who you actually are. Who you are is not a concern to them. Because they're too preoccupied with these thoughts in their head to even pay any attention to you or to even know that you're there. Which is why even if you try to bring something to their attention it is very difficult for them to concentrate. It's too dense. It's like a weight they're having to bear. To where at times they may seem unintelligent, ignorant, foolish or slow. Because they're always thinking of how they're going to respond. Or they're over-analyzing your reactions. While this inner dialogue is going on inside their heads. Which is making it difficult for them to concentrate. Because they can never put your thoughts, feelings, wants, needs or desires before their own. They're too preoccupied with thinking of their own advantage. So they just want you to hurry up with whatever you're saying or doing. So that they can get to what they want to say or do. Because their words, actions and desires are more important. They're self-interested. They're motivated by their own personal interest or advantage. Without regard for you. Because they can't see other people as they're equal. In their minds, they're superior to you. Which is why everyone has to revolve around them. And they always need to be the centre of attention. And if they're not, they will do whatever it takes to get people to pay attention to them. They will perform a narrative as if it were a play. They will behave badly. They will yell, shout and scream. Because if they're not the centre of attention, they feel like they don't even exist. Their false self can't exist without constant acknowledgement and validation. And that is their narcissistic supply. Which is why even when they're out in public, they're always scanning the environment and calculating in their heads where they would need to walk, stand or sit. So that they can elicit as much attention as possible. Because that's always their goal. Or they may just gather around a respected or powerful person so that they can use that person to their maximum advantage and control or coerce them in the way that they wanted to go. Because all they're ever thinking about is how they can be the centre of attention. They have no true self. They died a long time ago. But their false self cannot exist without constant acknowledgement and validation. So they're completely self-absorbed and they lack empathy for other people. They just haven't got the mental bandwidth to even consider you as a separate person with your own feelings and needs. If it is not all about them, then they have no interest. So they're not going to engage in a conversation about you. Because all they care about is themselves. Your feelings and needs mean nothing to them. Unless they can use them to their advantage to gain influence and control over you. So even then it's still all about them. And if it's not about them, it doesn't matter. Thank you for watching. And if you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up down below. Share your thoughts in the comments section and hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel, you can donate at paybotherme.com. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It is www.narksurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.