 Welcome back to the 21 convention in 2019 of Warsaw, Poland. Our next speaker is known on YouTube as a Spartan life coach, huge channel with over 100,000 subscribers. I've called him previously and now, YouTube's number one bad boy of psychology. But above and beyond that, he's helped me personally heal from a very traumatic and toxic relationship. This is a man who's not only helped my life and improved it and impacted it, he's probably saved it several times. Without further ado, please let me welcome for his first time to the 21 convention stage Richard Granin. Well done, mate. Thank you very much. Thank you. Gentlemen, it's my first time speaking here and it's my first time speaking within the manosphere. I did not know what to expect. I have received a warm welcome and for that I'm grateful. Other than that, I have noticed in this group here, the IQ standard is a little bit higher than I'm used to dealing with. I can randomly stop any of you and find myself in a conversation about politics, economics, linguistic science and I'm like, okay, I better keep up with these fuckers. So I've changed this speech over the last two days and I've been like, we can dial it up a few notches here. You guys have a problem. It's not a problem that I'm familiar with, but resolving problems is what I do. I work in the field of psychology and I help people to resolve problems and I also am growing as a human being and in my role as a life coach as time goes by. Predominantly I focus on trauma. Yes, it's usually relationship trauma, but resolving trauma is what I do. At this stage in my progression, I have found one of the best ways of resolving trauma is through philosophy. Psychology was always a branch of philosophy. You go to the oldest universities and you'll find the psychology department is a subset of the philosophy department. In my humble opinion, psychology should seek to be scientific, but should never seek to be a science. In fact, it can't. It always fails and makes itself look ridiculous whenever it tries. The solution is philosophy to trauma because when people are traumatized and something bad happens in their lives, they have to rebuild their map of reality and recreate a new narrative that allows that to enter that space. The problems that you guys face and are here to deal with, I think are trauma-rooted, are about a narrative that has become corrupted. The problem is a philosophical and ideological one, and the solution is a philosophical one, which is good news to say to a group of men who like being philosophical, and we don't need to pull away from that. That is, it dares to suggest our natural inclination, sexist Nazi that I am, suggesting that your biology would determine anything about your personality characteristics made the feminatsies throw me straight into gulag as soon as this is over. There is a war on against men. It's couched as a war on masculinity. It isn't. Masculinity is neither here nor there, that's a red herring. Mr. Jack Donovan said yesterday that most of the attacks leveraged against men by the feminists are actually a, he suggested they were a red herring, and he said it's usually reverse psychology. I'm going to, in the first section of this, try and put forward a hypothesis that, yes, it is reverse psychology that they're using, but it's also pure projection. The notion of toxic masculinity is not owned by men. It is owned by angry women. They are the ones who have become toxically masculine, not us. We have become, unfortunately, we're not off the hook, fragile in our masculinity. They've become toxic in their masculinity. We have become fragile in our masculinity. I'm going to put forward the idea that this is both an actual overt conscious conspiracy. I am a conspiracy theorist that puts people off, but I am a crazy conspiracy theorist. And I think this is just the way life has gone. I want to offer you a reframe. This is what I do when I'm working with people in psychology and we're working through trauma. I want to give you new ways of thinking. I don't just want to give you new thoughts to think. I want to give you new strategies, new weapons to thinking about this. I want to talk to you about something that most people think they understand, but that is not very well understood at all. It's the principle of yin and yang. People will tell you, oh, yin is feminine and yang is masculine. I want to talk about this a little bit because it lacks cultural loading. A lot of our ideas of masculinity and femininity are culture bound. This is not because even for Chinese people, this would not be a natural part of modern day Chinese culture. It's ancient and it's foreign, great. It's safe. It's also a very useful model. Yin is receiving. Yin is holding. Yin is nurturing. Yin is dark. The darkness of a cave, the darkness of a house, the darkness of your bed. We love yin. We're always trying to get back to yin. We winks Freudianly. We're always trying to get back into that space. That's why we have the concept of a man cave, who amongst you does not enjoy going to bed. That is entering yin. When you go into your bed, you're entering yin. If you take a nice lady there with you, you are also yang entering yin. Yang is light. It is that which is. Yin is that which is not yet. It is not. It's often talked about as being chaos. This is a difficult concept in Chinese and Japanese philosophy. It's more the realm of pure potentiality. Women are an empty space, but it's not empty. It's a pregnant space, pregnant with possibility of what might be. Yang is what is. Yang is what has already occurred. Yang is penetration. Yin is receiving. Everybody likes MMA. Everybody likes boxing. I throw a right cross and I hit my opponent in the face. That is yang. He didn't see it coming. He got smacked in the face. He received it. That's yin. If he dodges it, his martial strategy is now yin. If he docks under it and does a double leg takedown on me, he has now reversed into his yang. He is penetrating my space. Oops. What will my solution to that be? What are Brazilian jiu jitsu givers? A yin strategy. I lie on my back and I open my legs. It's not very masculine. However, once he's inside of guard from there, you know the drill. Arm locks, triangle chokes, whatever it is. That's yin and yang manifested. Don't get caught on the idea of women and men. It's yin and yang. All of your organs have yin and yang in them. If you have too much yin or yang in an organ, you'll die. You have yin and yang when you walk. If it's all yang, then what has happened with me is a knee injury. If there's too much muscular tension, then it creates injuries. If there's too much yin, I won't be able to walk because I'll just be flopping everywhere. I dance. I recommend all of you learn. I'm not going to do the how to get goals stuff, but there's two pieces of advice I would give you. Learning to fight and learning to dance both seem to help for reasons that we'll explain somewhere else. My particular thing is bachata. Jack Donovan also mentioned that masculinity is the perimeter. This is exactly Chinese philosophy. Exactly. It is the perimeter. It is a wall or a tower. Who's obsessed with walls and towers? Anthony's favorite man. Walls and towers are masculinity. The home, a house, a cave, a place that you would bring somebody where they're protected, that would be yin. A wall is a boundary. A tower is a means of threat. When we're in this space, and we're talking about the perimeter, I do, it's bachata is a Dominican style. It's kind of like salsa, but it's a little bit closer. It's a bit more sensual. It's a bit slower. My stance for bachata is here. I take the woman around the back and I hold her here. I am yang. I am structure. If I'm good, my form is upright. She dances within my form and my structure. I lead her. When my arm is around her back, this is the perimeter. Because on a busy dance floor, I'm to protect her. And those of you who know your combat tai chi, this is peng, ward off. So this, if it's good and the energy is strong, is yang. I must be yang in order to lead. This is all I'm talking about. Very, very simple stuff. Gets a little bit more complex, and this is where it gets relevant to the issues that you guys are facing at the moment. In yin and yang, we have two polarities. My position would be polarity is good. My position would also be polarity is essential, as is integration. We think of the yin and yang symbol and we think of something that is static. That's only because in ancient China, they didn't have gifts. I spoke to a doctor of Chinese philosophy about this two months ago, just a double check. I'm not talking out my arse. The yin and yang symbol rolls. When you see it, sometimes you'll see it drawn with arrows around it. Think of it rolling. It's always rolling. It moves. It moves. It's not static. Static is death. It has polarity, but it's integrated. No yang without yin and no yin without yang. Even your genitals are formed that way. There is yin, it's your p-hole, in the yang. There is yang in the yin. That's the clitoris. Allegedly, I read about it on the internet. Anyone of you wanna help me with that, just let me know. It's a totally neutral concept, but it's necessary at all times to appreciate that there must be yin in yang and there must be some yang in the yin, and it needs to integrate. The stage right now is we're trying to kill polarity. We're trying to have everybody meet in the middle. This is doom. Endowism and Confucianism, this was predicted. It is doom. We are doomed. If we continue, this route, we're fucked because we're losing polarity. We're losing integration. We're both separating, so we're refusing to come together. We're separating and we're denying parts of ourselves. Where did this come from? In my humble opinion, this forced, Stalinist, propagandized, brainwashing horseshit of making everything meet in the middle and be androgynous. Why would I try and spell a hard word in public? I should have just written am. Androgynous, is that right? Did I spell it right? You can tell me it's not right. I'm not. You're a dyslexic. What's happened is both a conscious effort and a byproduct of a fallacy in the human software. We like things. We like beads. We like stuff. We like shiny objects. Somewhere along the line, we can track it historically, began in the 1920s. Edward Bayonets became the godfather of public relations. He's the nephew of Sigmund Freud. He took his uncle's insights into human nature and used them to exploit people to control them, to get them to buy stuff that they didn't need but that they wanted. That was what he was told to do. Said, Edward, we need more money in the system. We need to reap more taxes. These people are buying what they need in America. It was born in America. We need them to buy what they want. How are you gonna do that? And so public relations, advertising and marketing was born. We live in a consumerist society. I'm not gonna get into this whole political thing about capitalism, anti-capitalism. Most people, when they're ranting about capitalism and the effects of capitalism, they mean consumerism. They mean cronyism. They mean corporatism. This is not capitalism. This is corporatism. And it is materialism. The problem with this is you've been encouraged. We've been encouraged deliberately to think of ourselves as individual brands. That's what makes you buy the trainers you bought. What does this say about me? These trainers, what do they say? What does this suit say about me? Is this a cool suit? I don't know. What's it telling you about me? It makes me individualistic. It makes me competitive. When you have a whole bunch of people who are individualistic, materialistic and competitive, you no longer have tribes. You no longer have tribes. Without our tribe, we're fucked. We're not evolved to walk around in cities as individuals choosing the next fucking t-shirt to buy. We're not evolved for that. That's not the animal we are. We evolved for millennia working together in groups under very harsh conditions in low resource environments. Piero touched on this. It's a big problem. People come to me and say, why is everybody so anxious and depressed? I'm like, we'll go outside and look. It's clear why everybody's anxious and depressed. So I think what we actually have right now is a state where we've been forced into yin as consumers. If you're a consumer, you're a vessel. You are to take what is given to you. You don't choose. You don't have what this gentleman keeps mentioning, agency. Agency is taken away from you. Sovereignty is ripped away from you. And you now have an external locus of control, as they would say in psychology. An externalized locus of control is, daddy or mommy gives it to me. I don't do it for myself. That becomes, that would make you passive and too yin and a bit of a whim, but it wouldn't be toxic. Where it becomes toxic is in the competition, is in the individualism. It becomes toxic because people then grow in entitlement and then they grow in being infantilized. One of the things I wanted to say early on, as I say, I'm new to this sphere and I've seen how men attack men within this sphere. Typically at school it would be like, oh, you're a faggot or you're a pussy. It's like, okay, you're a man who wants to have sex with other men. That's the derogatory term. You're a man who is akin to female genitals. That's the derogatory term. Here it's usually beta or blue pill. You're a beta male. You're not an alpha male. You're a blue pillar. That means you're still stuck in the illusion. The true derogatory term shouldn't be man, woman, red, blue, alpha, beta. It should be adult, child. Adult, child. The problem we face is not just feminization, that's part of it, but infantilism. We are not, I'm sorry to say this gentlemen and I include myself in this, men, in the sense that they were 100 years ago because we have not been given the opportunity to grow up. And where are the men to show us how to grow up? How the fuck am I gonna show you how to grow up if I haven't grown up? I'm not yet a mensch. I'm not yet made a man. Why are there no men? Well, men need men to show them how to be men. It's obvious, right? But they got rid of them. Slowly, it was worked out. If you are a vessel in the Chinese philosophical sense, you're not transmitting, you're receiving. You are what we would call in more Western and Jewish mysticism a cup. Those of you are familiar with it. You'll know about tarot cards. Jung was big on tarot cards. You're a cup in the suit of tarot. A cup is a vessel for blood. It represents the heart. And it's usually associated with the feminine because it's receptive. The sword is associated with men and it's associated with the mind. The sword cuts. The sword makes difficult, painful decisions. The sword represents the surgeon's knife that comes along and says, this is gonna hurt a little bit, but you'll be better afterwards. It's a cynical, male position. The cup, it's much nicer to get cups in a tarot reading. I love cups all day. Cops is like, oh, you're in love. You've been in love. You will be in love. Swords is like, you've got problems. Whenever you pull the sword card, you've got a fucking problem and it's gonna be painful to deal with it. Don't shy away from it. We have become toxically passive and toxically yin. The cup that is receiving is not clean. What this leads to is hyperfeminization, hyperinfantalization, but it leads to a tendency to ideological possession. Most of us now in modern society ideologically possessed, the reason being into an empty cup, any old fucking shit can be thrown and you won't fight it because you'd rather have something than nothing. Even as men, if you have the yearning of an empty cup to be filled, you'll fill it with something and it might not be the red pill. It might not be the man's fear. It could be call of duty zombies. Anybody with me on that? Just me, okay. It could be pornography. It could be gambling. It could be cocaine. It could be whatever you want, but you're empty and you're looking to be filled. That's the problem. I'll give you the solution in a moment. It gets worse comrades, much worse than this. This is nothing, nothing. The ideological possession, it rots. It gets worse because, hold in mind everything I said about yin and yang and swords and cups. The sword is the mind. It is that which penetrates. It is yang. It is masculine in its principle. The cup is that which receives and is feminine in principle. Young eventually went crazy. I'm much keener on Freud than I am on young, but there's no doubt the man was a genius. No doubt. What he said was in every man, there is a woman and in every woman, there is a man. In every yang, there is yin. In every yin, there is yang. The woman in the man is called the anima. The man in the woman is called the animus. He said, when the animus and the anima meet, the animus draws his sword of power defensively and she, the anima, ejects her poison of seduction and illusion. Her poison of seduction and illusion. The post-modernists love yang. I don't know how they can deal with what he just said there. The poison of illusion and seduction versus the sword of that which is true and that which is not true, the sword of decision. We all need this. We all need to integrate it. I just spoke of ideological possession which we're all open to because we've become dirty cops. You all got that. There's something called not ideological possession but anima possession, anima possession and animus possession. Freud, Freud young, spoke of it on the individual level. A man who is anima possessed has rejected the feminine inside of himself. She's become externalized. The anima is the soul or the heart, the emotions, the intuition, the softer side. She is rejected and cast out. She comes back and possesses him demonically. He then becomes a spineless, fucking, whinging pussy. Young didn't use those words. I'm gonna say, hypothesize that this is what's happened to us en masse. We've become anima possessed as a whole, as a group. Culture is anima possessed in men, in men. So we become indecisive, scared of going outside, addicted to the material world, addicted to pleasure, addicted to sensuous pursuits, just addicted to addictions basically. Women, in women, in the individual woman, a woman who's become anima possessed, she's rejected the man in herself. This is a woman standard with daddy issues. A man who does that is a man standard with mummy issues. So the man in her life was abusive and unpleasant, abandoned her and or exploited her. She rejects the man in herself. She kicks him out, out, out. He comes back through the unconscious and possesses her. Remember when something is possessed or a person is possessed? They become the puppet of that thing that has possessed them. Their strings are being pulled. Anima possessed, spineless, whinging, flaccid, depressed, can't leave the house. Anima possessed, a ball busting bitch, a hard, aggressive, macho, chauvinist, sexist, man-hating, bitch, anima's possession. She can't deal with her own masculinity. She can't integrate it. So it gets rejected and comes back toxic. She's now toxic yang. Toxic masculinity is a concept created by women who are traumatized who are animus possessed. Tell me it's not. I dare you. These women don't even what they hate being women. They loathe being women. They don't wanna dress as women. They don't wanna speak as women. They want to be as men, but not in some dignified noble way. Same way as when anima is possessed. We don't wanna be dignified noble women who have their shit together. No, we're wingy, bratty little bitches. What are they when they're possessed? They're angry, aggressive chauvinists. The guy I work with a lot is Sam Vaknam. He's a professor of psychology. He's a diagnosed psychopath, very intelligent guy. And he said he was watching the show Mad Men. I haven't seen it, but he says it's about 1950s American dudes in advertising. He says they're aggressive. They drink. They smoke. They're sexist. And they're hyper-competitive with each other. He said that's the model for the modern woman. That is the model for the modern woman. Now, that is pure animus possession. When Jack Donovan said they're not, what he said was it's reverse psychology is a provocation. I'll take it a step further. It is pure, you all know what projection is. I see something of myself. I can't deal with it. I put it in you. The notion of toxic masculinity was now and was always and only ever can be a manifestation of animus possession projected outward. You guys are bullies. Who's a bully? You guys are aggressive. Who's aggressive, sorry? Who's screaming right now? You guys hate women. Yes, somebody has a problem with the opposite sex. Is it us? Somebody hates their daddies. Is it us? Or is it, where's this coming from? So animus possession is also a problem. Being toxified in passivity in this context and being anima possessed leads us to being the worst elements of female power. What are the worst elements of female power? When a woman wants power, she can't get up and headbutt you and I gouge you. So what does she do? You will find victimhood narratives. You will find aggressive whining. You will find exploitative behavior and manipulative behavior. You will find somebody who pits one man against the other, even unto death. You're all familiar with that. I know you guys are. I know the books you've read. Even unto death, there's no moral boundary. It's not like, oh, these fucking idiots have suffered enough. I'm gonna tone it down now. Let them kill each other. Because if I have become psychopathic in my animus possession, I don't have moral boundaries. A bit of a downer thing I need to say to you, but I'm gonna give you it and you'll feel better afterwards. Lasty medicine, this situation, gentlemen, I personally believe, and I'm reflecting this back to you because you're intelligent men and I respect you, that most of you are in denial about how bad the situation is. You're all here and you're like, yeah, we're dealing with it. We're looking to situate the solutions. It's worse than you think it is. It's more dangerous than you think it is and it's way more far gone than you think it is. Way more far gone. Don't expect any leniency here. There is none. Don't expect moral boundaries. There is none. That's not what you're facing. This is an infection. It's spreading rapidly and it is not an overstatement to say it is tearing the world apart. I don't deal in politics. I don't deal in economics. I deal in psychology. And all day, every day, I see people on the verge of suicide because of this. In some form or other, usually it'll come through abusive relationships, but also it's, I can't live with myself. I just can't, I can't fucking stand being me. I want to be dead. And it's happening in rates that we've never seen before. Maybe a little thing that I looked at recently, occasionally I go through and I read the published research. I try and avoid it as much as possible because it's depressing. In the United Kingdom, nine to 14 year olds who attend the emergency care unit with body dysmorphia, bulimia and anorexia has quadrupled in the last four years. I claim we have never loathed ourselves more. Never. We've never hated ourselves more. This whole of social media effect, the way modern culture is going, the dissolution of the nuclear family, the loss of our tribes. We're having a mirror held up to us and it is a black mirror. It's not true. It's toxic. It's poisoned. It's a dark reality tunnel. So there's the light at the end of the tunnel for you. It's not real, but it's a powerful illusion. What did Jung say? When animus meets anima, he, the animus draws his sword of power. She ejects defensively. The poison of illusion and seduction. These little fucking black mirrors that we all hold in our pockets, that's all they do. That is the anima manifested. It's one of the sources of the anima. It's poison. It's illusion. It's seduction. And it will hurt you. It will hurt you. The thing that I wanted to say is that was like to wrap that particular thing up of telling you something that's not very nice is as men seeking rather to, rather than trying to find our masculinity and our manhood, but to grow up as adults is the following. Nobody is coming to save you. 21 con can't save you. I can't save you. Nobody's fucking coming to save you. And it's good for you to hear that. It's good for you to hear that. Because in ancient cultures, if I wanted, if I was a man and I wanted you to follow in my footsteps, I'd kick you out into the fucking forest. Most cultures have this. Survive on your own for five to 10 days. Out, away from the tribe. Ah, that'll fucking show you who you are. I can't give it to you. This even is you're receiving my words. This is Yin. You're in a passive state, right? This is Yin. You're sat there going, who's gonna fucking tell me how to live my life? No con. No con can. No con can. It's not possible. There isn't a content who is alive who could do that job for you. You can yourself, but it's gonna hurt every initiation process does. When you are in the depths of despair, don't try and think, oh, I'll get out of this. You'll actually get more from, and this is like a stoic or Zen approach thinking nobody's coming to save me. Why will you get more from that? Nietzsche said, hope, in fact, is the most evil of all things because it prolongs the torments of man. Hope is the most evil of all things because it prolongs the torments of man. Stop fucking hoping. Because when you give up hope, you act. Hoping is toxic Yin. Someone's coming. Obama's coming. Trump's coming. Nobody's fucking coming. If we don't fix this, nobody's gonna fix it. That's it. That's the correct way to live because even if that's insane and we're all delusional, we all go, oh yeah, that makes sense. And we're all completely fucking delusional. You know what it does? It internalizes your locus of control. It puts you back in the driving seat. We're all used to it. We're all used to being passengers. This is watch TV, man. It's just jerk off over porn, man. Watch Netflix, man. Any of you who is watching more than an hour of TV a day or consuming more than an hour of social media a day, you are a wank sock for culture. You are where culture spurts its dirty fucking inbred seed. You're opening your brain to its foul jism. I don't know why people laughing. That'll be the T-shirt. The Spartan Life Coach said we were a wank sock for culture. Are we paid for this? It's bad. It's bad, but the Spartan approach was kind of like a zen and a stoic approach. And this is what men can offer the world. Men, not boys. Men, a sense of humor. Sense of humor is something that will protect you. That's your shield. Your reason is the sword, is the analysis. Your assertiveness and your will is your spear. That's how you move forward. That's how I want you to approach this problem. Don't be voyeurs. Don't watch your life. Don't use fucking social media too much because you're all intelligent guys, but you're not smarter than the guys who built those fucking machines. They're reaping your endorphins. They're reaping your serotonin and they know what they're doing and you are in a chilled out state when you're looking at it. You're like, oh, this is cool. Follow that hashtag. Follow this hashtag. Look at this, look at that. They know what they're doing and they're drilling you back into a state of toxic passivity, of toxic yin, and you can't live there. It will also train you to be reaction seeking. That is childish and it is feminine. Don't be, I fucking any of you done social media, self-feeding and do this kind of shit. Which guys do now? Or they're in front of the mirror in the gym. Oh, oh, who the fuck is that for? Are you a woman or a man? Are you a beautiful object for me to pursue? Or are you the pursuer? Cause you fucking can't be both. You're one thing or the other. I have a few things I gotta work out myself. I might see Anthony afterwards coaching. It makes you reaction seeking and it will have the following effect. I don't know what the science is of this, but I watched Anthony's interview with the Elliot Hulse and two things struck me. One thing that Elliot Hulse had said elsewhere and one thing that came up in the conversation that the yin and the feminine is more to do with the material world and it's to do with pleasure. I'm not one of those guys who's like, oh, fucking go and sleep on the floor in the forest and eat uncooked rice, but too much pleasuring yourself. That's not the route to masculinity. That's not the route to adulthood. That's not the route to enlightenment. It's not good. It's not good for you. And Elliot said this elsewhere and I think it's related. It probably lowers testosterone and probably increases estrogen because you're giving messages to your body. I'm not really a man. I like sitting around and eating cookies and jagging out. Okay, well, then you're a fucking woman. There's some estrogen for you. And then you're like, oh, my dick doesn't get as hard as it used to. Hmm, I wonder why. Elliot said, and I don't know if it's true or false, but he said that in, I imagine it is, in the military and in prisons, guys get jacked. Now, okay, there's fear as well. They don't want to be fucking fucked. So they're going to train harder. I know guys who went to prison and they're like twice a day training so that didn't happen to them. But I think it's more than that. Being surrounded by men, acting in a manly way, in a competitive environment, it's probably good. It's probably going to raise your testosterone a little bit and psychologically it's good for you. Here's my humble opinion, not based on psychology but based on what I've observed. When I was a kid, I was quite a smart kid and I went to a private school because I'm privileged like that and I was lucky and they got hold of me and they said, you could go to Oxford. And I went, okay, I fucked it off because why not, why not? I didn't have, I wasn't raised in an environment that was particularly promoting of any sort of sense of self-worth. My father is not a very nice man who's not long out of prison and he basically wasn't around. So I didn't do it. What I did as an act of rebellion was I went and did nightclub security. So I took my A-levels, I took my degree, my opportunity to go to Oxford and I went, fuck it. I'm gonna go and stand on the door and snort cocaine and punch the fuck out of people because why? Yay! I actually got caught by one of my teachers from school. I was on the door, I was with my boys, I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna go off, blah, blah, blah. And this old dude walks past and he goes, granon! I was like, fuck, I turned 14. I turned 14 and I was like, oh shit, what the bloody hell are you? He bollocks me right in front of everybody. But I liked it. I liked being in that environment and I liked the fights and the fucking around and everything. And here's my theory about men coming together and I'd like to see more of this in the manosphere. I enjoyed it because of the camaraderie. We were a group of men and we had a job to do. We had enemies. There were the drunk, drugged up zombies who came and we dealt with them and there was a hierarchy and everybody ended up with a fucking nickname because that's what men do because we're silly cunts. We give each other nicknames and we laughed a lot. I remember, there was a lot of laughing. There was a lot of pissing rounds. There was a lot of silliness. I think that's how we are. I think that's how we deal with stress. I think back in our natural environment, you would face death, torture, lol. Whatever it was, hideous wounds at the hands of some bear that got hold of you and then afterwards you tell a funny story and you make each other laugh. From what I've seen, this, it's not my sphere but it needs more of that because that to me is natural masculinity. That's not that you're silly. We tell silly stupid stories. We argue about dumb shit and that's what we like to do. And that's okay. You don't wanna have an internalized woman saying, what the fuck are you talking about right now? What is the point of all this? Why are you arguing about who would win in a fight? Mike Tyson with one arm behind his back or Bruce Lee high on PCP? Bruce. It's fucking Bruce Lee, by the way. Don't fuck with me on that one. That's a fun thing to argue about, right? We could probably get an hour out of that shit right now and feel good doing it. It's natural for us to be that way. And we can be men and we can be initiates and we can be adults and still retain that joy. That is integrated yin to me. So it's in your heart. The heart becomes a clean cup, a clean vessel through which blood can flow. That's laughter. That is also love. That is bonding. It's the one word I haven't heard used much yet. Here is love. Love. What we are trying to get back to is love. Love for ourselves, love for each other and love for women. I think you all love women. I haven't heard much. I thought I was gonna get one or two guys who were like, fuck them bitches. Nope, not one, not one person. It's a good thing. Embrace that. So I said I'd offer you a solution. We have a philosophical problem and I want a philosophical solution and my philosophical solution is really simple. It's stop being yin and consuming and receiving and start being yang and transmitting. Your perimeter, your protective boundary, your way of saying no with yang masculinity is to develop a moral philosophy. A moral philosophy that is based on your values. Everybody at some point in their life, probably once a year, should go and look at a big fucking long list of values, pick out the top 10, put them in order of priority and then choose the top five and be like, that's what my life is about. You've had speakers on here, put them up on the screen. Be like, it's courage, it's honor, it's truth. Or for me, it might be independence, sovereignty, creativity, whatever it is, but you should then have those values and live in accordance with them. You must develop a moral philosophy as men. You must. That is what men have always done. That, and he's gonna be sexist again, I think, is our natural inclination. It doesn't matter whether it is or it isn't. It's what we can do. We like it. Develop a moral philosophy and live by it. Share it with people. That's cool. One of the things that you should do as well beyond just figuring out what your value system is, is actually try and answer some of life's questions. What is good? What is evil? What is the right way to live? I don't know how many. I imagine you guys in here have probably given more thought to that than most, but go further, do more, journal it more, go deeper, whoever your favorite philosophers are, read, exchange ideas with friends, develop a moral philosophy. It will give you all the protection, all the boundaries you need, and all of your solutions to life's challenges right there. Don't look for somebody else to give it to you. That's yours. That's yours and it needs to be alive and it's unique to you as unique as your thumbprint. So you keep a hold of that. And I believe that's an expression of good, healthy, noble, yang energy, is to develop a moral philosophy and then live by it. There's a guy called Jocko Willink. Most of you will know him. He wrote a book called Extreme Ownership. And I love reading the comments on YouTube whenever he talks about his extreme ownership. People are like, but what about when this happened and that happened to me and I can't own that? And he's saying, he hasn't said it like this, but this is what I would tell him to say. It's a philosophical thing to be used. It's a philosophical weapon. Assume that you're responsible for everything. Of course you're not. Only a crazy person, that's like a God complex if you think you're responsible for everything. But what's your choice? This is the point he makes in the book. As a SEAL team commander, he can either go, well, it's his fault he didn't clean his rifle or he can go, yep, no, we fucked up, we'll fix it, I'm in charge. Which is the fucking healthier response? You want an internalized locus of control. You want to reclaim your agency. You want to reclaim your independence and your sovereignty. And there's only one way to do that. And that means owning everything. Extreme ownership, everything. No more excuses, boys. The feminists did it, fuck that. That's an idea, it's a concept, it's out there in the matrix. The only thing you have is here and now. This is what you control, your personal space. It's your body, it's your brain, it's your life, it's your breath, it's your intent. You get to do whatever the fuck you want with it. They've tried to trick you and make you think that you can't. The whole idea, the guy asked me this, a client of mine said, how do I become a man? You're 56 years old, Brazilian dude. How do I become a man? And I'm like, well, I don't know, wake up and scratch your ass, you're a fucking man. But what do you mean? What does that mean? You can tuck it between your legs, waddle around, but it's still there. You're still a fucking man, but that's not the problem, is it? The problem is that we are brainwashed and propagandized to that the essence of what we are is sinful, sinful. This is the new extreme absolutist religion. You are born in sin with your little winky. Didn't get a choice, but there it is. That is your fault and it's unacceptable. What you want, unacceptable. The fact that you like women, you disgusting rapist. That's what it's become. I talked to young men now and they spoke to a 26 year old the other day and it was like, so when you meet a girl and you like her, you tell her, you think she's attractive? And I'm like, yeah. He's like, isn't that creepy? I'm like, no, what's creepy is me sitting there pretending I fucking, you know, I'm not finding her attractive when I do. I was gonna tell her. Honesty and transparency is something that Steve mentioned. And he comes back to it again and again. That's masculine because I'm not hiding. I'm honest, I'm transparent. What's wrong? There's nothing wrong with what I'm trying to do. Why would I fucking hide it from you? Just be the animal that you are. That's nature. Then you're not in denial of your nature. The last thing I'm gonna leave you with and then I'm gonna take a couple of questions is a concept I use in my own life. You know, I deal with people who've been the victims of narcissists and psychopaths and megalomaniacs. A megalomaniac is somebody who believes that they're the center of the world and there can be only one and that they have to be in charge of everything. And everybody that doesn't agree with that has committed a sin against the church of me. Naming no names. Sorry? No, anyway. I don't want to get sued. So sometimes when I'm looking at that stuff, I'm looking at the personality disorders and I'm looking at the traits because my background was in martial arts first. That was my thing. I love martial arts since I was a kid. Spartan life coach grew out of a 10 year long project called Street Fight Secrets. And one of my heroes, as most people are into martial arts is Bruce Lee. And he said, absorb what is useful and ignore the rest. So I take from everything. I take from everywhere. I'm constantly stealing ideas. And I look at psychopaths and I look at narcissists and I'm like, you know, they get some things right. The grandiosity of an idea can be really, really useful. Megalomania with an idea can be useful. I don't think I would have gotten as far as I have done in this field without really grandiose ideas. My intent when I started Spartan life coach was to change the face of psychotherapy forever. Fucking arrogant bastard, arrogant bastard. I've only got a degree in psychology. I'm not a professor. I don't have a PhD. I don't even have a fucking masters. I was like, no, I want to change the face of psychology forever, why not? Same thing with their Street Fight Secrets. The idea of that was to change the way people did self defense forever. The movement there was away from physical techniques to emotional and psychological techniques. If any of you have been in a fight, you'll know it's not a very pleasant experience. And you don't like, you don't get in a fight and start going, I'm going to chop him here and then I'm going to punch him in his dick. You just go, fuck him in a fight. Ah! And you could be, you know, a 10th degree ninja but if you're shitting your pants, none of that shit's going to help you. So I would be like, okay, let's start with the emotion and psychology of it. The grandiose idea I want to share with you is this. You should seek to bend reality to your will. Whatever it is that you want, seek to bend reality to your will. Don't wait for it to happen. Don't try and crowdfund that fucking shit. Make it happen or die trying. Samurai resolve. I'm going to make this shit happen or I'm going to fucking cut myself open afterwards. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is the correct modality for getting things done. Grandiosity and megalomania are not always bad things. If you want to get something done in the world, that should be your attitude. Any of you guys ever watch C.T. Fletcher? The bodybuilder dude? You should watch him. When he trains, he's like, he talks, he's not. Trains is biceps. He goes, grow! Grow! You are my slave! I'm like, damn! They're going to kick me out of the fucking gym. But that's his mindset. You will obey me. And he, with that voice and that intensity, is like, you are my flesh! I own you! You will grow! And I'm like, well, if we all had a little bit more of that and a little bit more of fucking balance balls and cables and men's health workouts, we'd probably all be looking a little bit more jacked. You kind of have to be crazy to do it. Seek to bend reality to your will. What you've learned here, I've told you it's not good to be toxically passive and it's actually not going to help you unless you fucking make sure it is. You liked what a speaker said, you liked a concept, you wrote your notes, put it into your lives. Make it work. It doesn't work. It doesn't. None of it works. You fucking make it work. Another, from the strength training world, there was a guy online called Jason Ferusia who's a strength coach and people are hammering him for programs. How do I get my squat better? How do I do this? How do I do that? And then I think, he must have just had a bad night and he wrote this blog post and he goes, first of all, I don't give a fuck and nobody does. If you get stronger or you don't, that's your responsibility. Second of all, pick any program at random and follow it. They all work. Stop with the dogma. The only thing that you're doing is progressive overload over time. You know, change the rep brains, change the speed. So it doesn't matter, do something, but do something. And have the intent, I will make this work or I will die trying and you'll get better results in your life. You won't be as half-hearted. You won't be as shy. You won't be as nervous. Sometimes you've got to go all in and this, the passive yin training, the propaganda, the brainwashing and saying, don't do that, it's dangerous. Just be nice, okay? Just negotiate, just crowdfund it. I don't know, like create a hashtag on social media. Maybe it'll all work out because that's how fucking billionaires are built. Get the fuck out of here. The nutters, Elon Musk, nuts. Anthony likes Steve Jobs, fucking nuts. That's not a psychological term, by the way. Can we cut that from the YouTube? Ha ha ha ha ha. These guys are crazy and they have a lot of intent. In the end, it comes down to your intent. I was talking before about doing the dancing. I wasn't joking about that. I recommend it. I don't do the how to get gold stuff, but if you learn how to dance and you get good, that won't be an issue in your lives. How to die. Why? Steve was saying the other day about what he tries to get from women. It was think, react, blush, smile, laugh, dance. Get hold of the goal and you know what you're doing. You can tell jokes with your body. You can tell jokes, it's crazy. It takes time. You've got to give it like two years or so before you get to that level but you will never be online. How do I get goals? Learn how to fucking dance. Go to these dances. Butchata's a great one. It's upbeat, it's cheerful. The lyrics are all about love. It's passionate and it's fun. And it tends to make people laugh and smile and react. I advise it. But when I am sharing with other people how to be a good dancer, because technically I don't know that much stuff, they'll be like, why do the goals always want to dance with you? And I'll say, because I'm not trying to do anything other than get them to, I'll always be like, I want it to smile and I want it to laugh. The think, react and blush is perfect. My intent is all that counts. When it comes to the martial arts, it's your intent that counts. If you're going to defend yourself, it's your fucking intent that counts. What did the samurai do? They learned some techniques, they learned different weapons, but they meditated every day like fucking robot lunatic machines to build a strong intent. You know, the Wim Hof method, dousing yourself in cold water and all of that shit, the samurai would do it for centuries. They would do it for centuries to build an iron will. There was a cult of building iron will that's more than 100 years old now. And people don't talk about it because it's not bon temps, it's not of the now. But if you want to get anything done in your lives, you'll be well advised to focus on building your intent and building your will. And if you want something to happen, fucking make it happen. I'm going to stop there and we'll take some questions. Thank you, gentlemen. Bravo, bravo, bravo, cool edge for all of you. And if you've got any questions, if you could make them one sentence long and end in a question mark, that would be helpful. Anybody at all? Yeah, there's a gentleman over there. Hey, I just have a question about the necessity for men to maintain that moral compass in spite of all this. So, that being said, if guys still need to maintain that moral compass and live by those principles, you're still dealing with women who are immoral, do not have a desire or an obligation to do that whatsoever. Isn't that sort of a David versus Goliath conflict in the sense that they have no restrictions in warfare and your one hand or both hands tied behind your back? What day is it today, Saturday? I love the fact that it's a Saturday afternoon and you have asked me a question that they were asking in ancient Greece 4,000 years ago, the best philosophers. It's a beautiful question. I don't have an answer for you, but I'd love to sit there, have a drink with you and talk about it. That's the point. You get to figure it out, I get to figure it out, you'll do it your way, I'll do it my way. Why should we behave with morality when we're dealing with an immoral person? Should we? Are there incidences where we should abandon morality? I think yes. What I actually said, I didn't use the term moral compass, you heard that. What I said is develop a moral philosophy. I don't give a shit what your morals are. I just demand that as a man you have one, that you have a good philosophical reason for everything that you do. If I catch you doing something, I want to know why you're doing it. Steve mentioned that as well. Have a good philosophical reason for what you're doing. So you mentioned goals. I don't know why you would mention goals straight away. So what are you here for? The ladies I take up. If you're dealing with a woman and you see that she's being immoral, yeah, you're gonna have to ask yourself that question. Why are you dealing with somebody who's being immoral? Once you've detected her immorality, what are you looking for? Are you trying to work around her corruption if we're gonna use the moralistic language? She's a morally redundant, fundamentally corrupt human being and you're still interacting with her. I presume, and this is just philosophy. I'm just philosophizing with you. Because I presume you have an intent and I presume that your intent involves wearing less clothes than more. Now, should you use manipulative tactics or not, I wouldn't give you any shuds. I'm not Jordan Peterson, despite the fact of the suit and the Jungian stuff. So I don't have a moral system for you. I just demand that you have one because afterwards, I don't want you coming to me in despair. I don't want you coming to any psychologist in despair and you won't. If you behave immorally and you've discussed it with yourself and you've journaled about it and you've discussed it with people you respect and you go, you know what? I really wanted to sleep with her. I knew she probably had a personality disorder. I knew I was put my dick into a hornet's nest and then you pull it out and it's covered in stings. You won't be in despair, you'll just hurt. You might even be able to laugh about it because that would be your choice. It's your behavior I'm concerned with. I'm not, there's no point, boys, in being concerned with what culture's doing, with what women are doing, like, you can't control that. But this you can control. If you have a robust moral system, you'll survive it. My general recommendation though would be that particular goal you're talking about, just leave it alone. Yeah, yeah, it's really hard to win. And I have advised elsewhere, like if people are surviving toxic relationships, I would usually advise, you can afford to abandon morality with somebody who's a total moral degenerate and you're now in self-protection mode. Somebody said about, Pierre who said about self-defense and in the UK, the law's being quite strict. It seems that way and most people who are in Britain believe that it is. It's actually very, very loose. If in the United Kingdom, if somebody breaks into your house and you believe that you're under threat, the law, the last judgment was, it is not down to the individual citizen to way to a nicety that which needs to be done. So we were asked the question, can I, I gouge him? Yes, can I blind him for life? Yes, can I crack his spine? Yes, can I bite his throat out? Yes, yes, yes, yes. If I find something and pick it up, anything. As long as it is justified within the law. But it's good for everybody to know that. Like, don't be held back thinking, oh shit, there's a moral element to this. If you're in self-protection mode, you do whatever you need to, my friend. But in that scenario, don't cherry pick. Don't be like, oh, I'm gonna self-protection mode and then go back for a little bit more of that sweet, sweet crazy lovin' because you'll get burnt. Because you've got to realize people with personality disorders are better than you at that shit. They've been training since they were kids. Their black belts were white belts. You'll be fucked. Does that help? Any other questions, gentlemen? Is there a gentleman at the back? Say the thing about me being phenomenal again, it's good for my... I'm very fragile. The straightforward question, yin, yang, taho. Is there a book you'd recommend? Yeah, for an introduction, perhaps. If a gentleman was interested. See, when I was a kid, I was raised in a very chaotic household and I was looking for psychology, philosophy, and magic, and even then psychedelics to escape the drama. So at age 10, I had learned the I Ching. So the Chinese tarot, I'd learned it. I could cast your coins and read them. No 10-year-old should know that. And that's like, I'm not proud of that because that's born of, that's trauma. That's just like, and by the way, yang talks about this. If a man becomes anima-possessed, because the anima, which I totally have lived most of my life, anima-possessed, because the anima exists outside of time, says yang, little boys will show up as wise old men, that was me, and men will show up as little boys. So that's, go on. I grew up with a mother that I had who basically emotionally managed from a very young age. So I mean, I can relate to this quite closely. I have an I Ching myself, it's not... That's nourishing this correspondence. But yeah, continue, I just want to say that. I know what you mean, though. Like that you just summarized what my childhood quite doesn't like, so. I think a lot of people here would have come from trauma. Who's the Polish gentleman I was chatting to last night? We shared a cigar. I spoke to you, but we're outside. I can't see him right now. We were talking about the necessity for pain. And this is a concept from Buddhism. Like pain breaks the consciousness open. So you're drawn to excel. Most of the people in this room have excelled beyond the means of their tribe, whether it's becoming an amazing opera singer or going out and living, learning how to live with no food in the woods, whatever it is, there's excellence here, rooted in trauma, rooted in something. So you'll be brilliant at something because you're like, how do I fucking escape this thing? People who leave their countries of origin when they're still in their formative years, up to the age of 21, develop like a different mindset, a different view of the world. People who are raised in highly traumatic family environments can't swallow the brainwashing and the bullshit of what a family should be, and they become seekers. They become seekers of truth and they become levers. They leave culture. They leave culture. They go, no, culture's not my friend. I was raised in culture and it was a fucking shit show. So the books that I learned, I literally learned from the I Ching with this stuff. And I was reading the tarot cards by the time I was 15. So I went to the source. A lot of the books that interpret them, I personally find it frustrating. There's a nuance and an authenticity that an interpretation will always strip out. And you will, like people go against what I've just said. They'll be like, well, fundamentally Yin is women and fundamentally Yang is men. But people who really understand Chinese philosophy get really frustrated with that. So young actually, there are books by young that might be worth looking at. But I would just say, read the I Ching. That's all right then. Cool, thank you. Yes, sir? In regards to anima and animus, you talked about how to heal anima, right? For guys. So do the young. Do they take your sword of clarity? Yes, and integrate the feminine. So I probably didn't push that point enough. Anima needs integrating. So we can't just be yang, yang, yang all the time. You know, the theory does like conspiracy theories about why Bruce Lee died. Some people said it was actually, he was sharing too much with the Guiloh so they death-touched him. Some people I know who are high-level Qigong practitioners said this thing of him smoking and then he got a brain aneurysm. They said it was actually the Qigong. Bruce Lee was ripped. Okay, he used steroids, but he was fucking ripped because he did Qigong through his hard chi all the time. There's a technique you can do that just develops muscles by hard chi. But the Qigong master would be like, every time you do hard chi workouts, you need to do soft chi three times as much. Soft chi is the stuff you used to with the Tai Chi movement to balance the yin and the yang. We've got to be balanced and integrated. There's a woman in you, the anima, the soul, the spirit. When you see a charity advert with a puppy in the rain and it's got no home and you cry, that's beautiful, that's a good thing. If you lose that, you'll be some hard, rigid psycho, which is when women are animus possessed, that's how they see us. They see us as psychopathic sex robots that just wanna fuck their brains out. And therefore, I can do anything to you as a woman. I will treat you cruelly because anything I do to you is punching up. You're the terminator, so I can fucking fire bazookas at you and shoot you and whatever, which is why you get this, I believe, why you get disproportionate cruelty because she doesn't think you can be harmed because you're presenting as invulnerable. There must be a reclaiming of intimacy. There's no love without vulnerability and there's no vulnerability without intimacy. As men, we become frightened of that. Why? Because we got hurt in that space. Why? Animus possession. We're trying to deal with creatures who are the victims of some fucking narcissistic zombie apocalypse. You get close to them and they bite you. So you go, shit, so you withdraw, shields up, now you're gonna be a tough guy. Okay, but now there's no love because you're not open. So it's, yes, reclaim the yang in a noble way as the Yi Qing would say it's to be the superior man, the manifestation of Taoism and Confucianism and to be just, to be fair, to be morally righteous, but you've also got to claim the yin. You've also got to claim your anima, your feminine side as well. That's all the time we have. Give it up for Richard Grannon. Thank you. Thank you.