 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous cheese food, Balvita. Everybody goes for Balvita's rich yet mild cheddar cheese flavor in snacks and sandwiches and in hot dishes, and hidden in that swell cheese flavor are important nutrients for milk. That's why smart homemakers keep Balvita on hand regularly to spread or slice and to melt for grand economical hot dishes. Tomorrow, get Balvita the cheese food of Kraft quality. Did you ever have one of those days when everything seems to go wrong? Well, that's the way it's been with the Great Gilder Sleeve this morning. First of all, he cut his chin while shaving and his car wouldn't start, and then when he finally got to the office one hour late, he found that his secretary, Bessie, was even later. Where is that girl? Just when I meet her. Work piled up all over this office. That's twice this week she's been late. She'll probably come in and say her alarm clock didn't go off. Well, I'll tell. Good morning, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Good afternoon, Bessie. Huh? Bessie, do you realize you're one and a half hour late? I'm sorry, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. My alarm clock didn't go off. Oh, my goodness. That's no excuse, Bessie. What do you think people did before they invented alarm clocks? They went to work in those days, too, you know. How do you suppose they woke up? I don't know, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. How did they wake up? Well, let's not stand around asking foolish questions, Bessie. There's work to be done. Yes, sir. What are you staring at me for? You got to chin when you shave this morning, Mr. Gilder. I know that, Bessie. Does it hurt? No, it feels fine. Will you please get to work? Yes, sir. Where shall I start? Well, we could answer that first pile of letters on your desk. What are they? Oh, those are complaints about our water service. Huh? What's in the next pile? More complaints. Oh, what a day. Water, commissioner. I'd be much happier being a door-to-door salesman. I saw an ad in the paper for vacuum cleaner salesmen. Yes, sir. I'll stick it out a few more days, Bessie. But a man can take just so much. Little drops of water can wear away a stone. I'm a patient man, Bessie, but... Now, who's that? Come in. Morning, commissioner. Oh, hello, Charlie. Hello, Mr. Anderson. Charlie, why aren't you down at the waterworks? Because I'm up here in your office. Very funny. What do you want, Charlie? Mr. Guildersleeve, I've got a complaint. What, you two? Well, I can't talk to you now. I'm busy. Anyway, you should be down at the pump house looking after the machinery. That's what the city pays you for. Ah, just a minute, commissioner. I'm holding up my end all right, and that's more than I can say for some people. No, look here, Charlie. I put a requisition in this office for a drum of oil three months ago. I ain't got the dead busted thing yet. You haven't? No, I haven't. The darn machinery's squeaking like a cage full of canaries. Well... Let's get on the ball, Mr. Guildersleeve. Now, look here, Charlie. I happen to be ahead of this department, and I don't need you to tell me how to run it. Well, you need somebody. If I run the waterworks where you run this office, a whole plain town would be as dry as a hairy desert. Oh, yourself an engineer. Just because you run around with an oil can. Mr. Guildersleeve. Why, Leroy, could you hold on your job? Just get you better be careful what you say, or you'll have to get yourself another boy. Someday I will get myself another boy. I wonder if Leroy... No. Well, Bessie, let's get started. Yes, sir. All this work staring us in the face will probably be here till all hours. Looks like we're gonna have to burn some midnight oil. But I thought we didn't have any oil. Figures of speech, Bessie. Well, let's start with a morning meal. Don't just sit there, Bessie. There's no law against both of us working at the same time, you know? Yes, sir. Let's see here. These are probably more complaints. Well, that's this. A letter from radio station WSUM. What are they complaining about? They're not complaining about anything, Bessie. They think I'm doing a wonderful job. They do. That's right. Listen to this. Dear Mr. Guildersleeve, because of your fine record as water commissioner, we would greatly appreciate you being our first guest speaker on our new weekly radio series, Let's Get Acquainted with Summerfield. We sure our listeners would enjoy taking an imaginary trip with you through the waterworks. Look, that's wonderful, Mr. Guildersleeve. What is it? Next Friday. Hey, that only gives me a couple of days to get my speech written. I better go home and get started on it right now. Mr. Guildersleeve, what about all the work we have to do? Work? We'll do that tomorrow, Bessie. I've got a radio program to worry about. Hey, I wonder what kind of a hooper rating I'll get. Praying PV? I don't know, Mr. Guildersleeve. What can I do? PV, I'll bet you can't guess what I'll be doing next Friday night. How's that? I said I bet you can't guess what I'm going to be doing next Friday night. No, I guess I can't. I bet you'd like to know. I would. Oh, wouldn't you? I don't know. For heaven's sake, PV, I'm going to be on the radio. Well, that's nice. Mr. Guildersleeve, I see you've cut yourself this morning. Now, if you're a razor blade, you're dull. PV, aren't you surprised? No, people often cut themselves. I said I'm going to be on the radio. Of course, if you're not interested. Oh, I'm interested, Mr. Guildersleeve. What sort of a program are you going to be on? A quiz show? I'm going to make a speech. Explain all about the water department. Oh. Believe you me, it'll be well worth listening to. Of course. I'll be on the air Friday at 8.50. Just thought I'd let you know in case you want to tune in. WSUM. Well, I don't know. 8.15 is when the squeaking door mystery theater comes on there. PV, you don't listen to that. No, but Mrs. PV does. Well, I'm sure Mrs. PV would give up her mystery show to hear me speak. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Well, she would if you wanted her to. No, I wouldn't say that either. All right then, PV, don't listen to me. Well, if you don't want me to. Huh? I was intending to hear you on my little radio upstairs. You were? Well, I'm certainly Mr. Guildersleeve. I was on Nathan Joshing. Well, I wouldn't miss a speech by a fellow jolly boy. PV, do you know what you are? You're an old rascal. No, no, no. Maybe I had. Hello, Miss Margie. Bertie, I saw Uncle Mort's car outside. What's he doing home so early? He's in his study. He's been up there all afternoon. What's he doing in there? I don't know, but it must be something mighty important. He's in a do not disturb mood. Oh, well, I'll just go in and tell him hello. Well, if you want to take a chance. But he's in a do not disturb mood. Oh, that's all right. Hello, auntie, dear. Oh, hello, Margie. What are you doing? I'm trying to write a speech. A speech? What for? Your old uncle has been asked to make a speech about the water department on the radio. On the radio? That's wonderful. Not so much. Just in the line of duty. Poor auntie. You look like you've been working awfully hard. Bertie says you've been in here for hours. Well, a thing like this requires a lot of brain work, you know. Yes. Let me see what you've written. Well, it isn't quite... Oh, gee. Is that all you've done? Just one line? Well... Margie, I'll thank you to retire from the room immediately. Pronto. Okay, uncle Mort. All afternoon to write one line. Oh, dear. I didn't know this was going to be so much trouble. I could only get past this first line. Let me see. Ladies and gentlemen, as your water commissioner, I bring you the story behind your faucet. Now what? Guess I ought to tell him where the water comes from. Where does it come from? That's something to do with the pump house. But what is it? Uh... Hiya! What do you want, Leroy? Gee, I hear you're going on the radio. Yes, yes. What are you going to do? Be a crooner? No, I'm not. Now, if you kindly get out of here, young man... Can I get out of the radio station with you? Well, you'll see. Gee, I wish I could go on the radio. All the kids at school would hear me. Leroy, I'm trying to... Hey, maybe if you had a little time left over on the program, I could recite a little poem. What? Not that. You want to hear it? No, I don't. The boy's still... You know, it's five o'clock. Oh, my goodness. He also ate some pie and cake. Boy, did he have a belly ache. Leave the room. It's not blind. I'm available. Oh, sir. Where was I? Oh, yes. Where does the water come from? I could down and ask Charlie Anderson. No, I'm supposed to know more than he does. Well, let's see here. Oh, come in. Excuse me, Miss Gilsey. What is it, Bertie? I just wanted to know what time you wanted to have dinner. Oh, well, any time, Bertie. I don't care. I want to arrange my schedules to suit you. I know you're busy, so it's up to you. Well, we can have dinner any time, Bertie. Well, I can have it any time you want. It's up to you. Bertie, it doesn't make any difference. If you want dinner early, I can have it early. If you want it late, I can have it late. It's up to you. Bertie, I... You just tell me, Miss Gilsey, and I'll put it on the table whenever you want it. You just say the word. It's up to you. It's up to you. Well, thank you, Bertie. I just want to know what's there for dinner. I appreciate that, Bertie. It's up to you. You can have dinner whenever you want it. Well, that's very thoughtful of you. It's all right, Miss Gilsey. Whenever you want dinner, you just say the word. It's up to you. Yeah, it's up to me. I'll never get this speech written. Where was I? Oh, yes. Where does the water come from? She... She'll go down and ask Uncle Charlie Anderson. Why shouldn't you go ahead and talk? I can't talk with all that noise in here. Can't you turn off that pump for a minute? Turn off the pump? Why, you're a darn fool. If I did that, I'd shut down all the water supply in town. Oh, well... Turn off the pump. You call yourself a water commissioner. Charlie, I wonder if you'd step outside a minute. Well, all right. We'll make it snappy. Well, which one do you mind? Charlie, I'm going to speak over the radio. Where's a lot of darn fools talking on the radio already? I guess one more won't hurt. They want me to tell them what I know about the water department. Well, that won't take you very long. Anybody that wants to turn off the water pump can't know very much. That's right. Well, there are a few technical details. I wasn't quite sure of Uncle Charlie, and I thought maybe I might get him from you. For me? Well, I can't tell you anything. You're the big shot that knows everything. All I do is run around here with an oil can. That's what you said this morning. I know, but I was only kidding. You can't get much information from a fella that just runs around with an oil can. No oil? But Charlie, I'm... I'm afraid I can't be much help here. Can I talk to an engineer? What? So long, Commissioner. Charlie, who's going to help me with my speech? Don't ask me. Looks like you'll have to get yourself another boy. Oh, dear, why did I ever go on the radio? Why did he go on the radio so that you listeners could hear this news, of course? It really does take a lot of ingenuity these days to feed a family well on a budget. But, homemakers, here's a three-way helper. It's Kraft's nutritious, smooth-melling cheese food, Belvita. Help number one is the way Belvita helps you make economical, good-eating main dishes. Just melt golden Belvita for a smooth, rich cheese sauce that stretches leftovers into another grand main dish. 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We find our frustrated water commissioner getting a haircut in Floyd's barber shop. Well, Commish, how's the idol of the airwaves today? Huh? Understand you're making your radio debut tomorrow night. Oh, yes. How about Jack Benny's, plenty worried. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Floyd? You want some good jokes, Commish? Well, in he, yes, he told me a couple of pips. There was one about a mule and a flea. Floyd, I don't need any jokes. I'm giving a serious talk about the water department. Oh. Well, I guess some people like that stuff. I'll take Fibba McGee and Molly. Floyd, just cut my hair. Sure. Ah, dear. Making the speech on the water department, huh? Yes. Sure you don't want to work in that story about the mule and the flea? No! Got your speech all written, Commish? Written? Well, not exactly. I haven't had time. I'm pretty busy at the department, you know. Oh, sure. Busy executive like you shouldn't have to write your own speech anyhow. Huh? What do you mean? Well, you ought to get yourself one of them ghost writers. Huh? That's what all the mother big shots do. You think they write their stuff? Nah. They hire some skinny guy with glasses to do the brain work. They do? Sure. Be smart, Commish. Let somebody else do the work. I don't know. Who could I get? Well, how about Judge Hooker for a ghost writer? Good judge? Not a bad idea. He looks like a ghost. Very good. I don't know, though, Floyd. Hooker doesn't know much about the water department. Well, neither do you. Well, he kiddin', Commish. Anyhow, the judge knows how to sling them big words around. He'll make it sound good. Well, I guess it would be all right if I get him to do it. All you gotta do is handle him, right? Flatter him a little. Huh? See, I could ask him over to dinner tonight. He loves birdies cooking. That's his stuff. Then you can go to work on him. Give him the old schmooze. That's a good idea, Floyd. The old goat won't suspect a thing. He does the work and you get the credit. Floyd, we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. I shouldn't do this to the judge, but I will. It was very thoughtful of you to invite me over to dinner tonight, Gelde. It's all right, Judge, old friend. It was a pleasure. It wasn't a children. Oh, yes, sure. More coffee, Horace. Well, I really shouldn't, Gelde, but I can't resist birdies' coffee. It's nectar from the garden. That's plenty, thank you. Have a cigar? Fine a cigar. Cost 27 cents. Well, thank you. Here, let me light it for you. I want a service. Thank you. You're very welcome, man. If you spoil me like this, I'll be over every night. Yeah. Well, we'd be very happy to have you. Wouldn't we, children? Of course. Leroy? Huh? Oh, sure. Judge, a little later on, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. No rush, of course. Well, I'm glad you're in no hurry, Gelde. It's a pleasure to just sit here at the table and savor these last few drops of coffee. Oh, of course. You know, sitting here with you and your children takes me back to my childhood. In fact, it reminds me of an incident that I'm sure you'd all like to hear. Oh, I'm sure we would. Well, it was a cold winter morning. Pardon me. I'll keep me. I'd be excused. I have some homework to do. Yeah, me too. Now, children, your homework can wait for a little while. It isn't often that you get to hear one of the judge's fascinating stories. Okay. Go on, Horace. We're all ears. Well, as I was saying, it was a cold winter morning, and there I was, just a little tight trudging through the snow. I must have been ten at the time. No, I guess I was only nine. No, I think I was ten. Well, anyway, there I was. The old lady said to me, she's a woman about 60, I judge. Well, she might have been 55. No, I'd say she was 60. Oh, brother. Anyhow, she patted me on the head and said to me, young man, for being such a polite little man, you can have this jar of marmalade. That's the end of the story. It's about time. Was that guilty? I said the story was fine, judge. In fact, I couldn't wait for the finish. Yeah, could I? We all enjoyed it, judge. Oh, yes. Well, thank you. And there was another incident which was so amusing. Well, Horace, shall we retire to the living room now? All right. Chairs are getting a little hard. I'd like to discuss something with the judge now, so you children may be excused. Thanks, uncle. You wouldn't deprive an old bachelor the joy of listening to the children's happy voices. But, judge. Now let's all sit down here in the living room and have a nice little chat. Well, it was very pleasant. Well, children, I suppose you're both pretty proud of your uncle. Proud? Huh? Yes. I understand he's been asked to deliver a talk on the radio tomorrow night. And that's quite an honor. Yeah, I guess so. But if you don't mind my saying so, guilty, it's a good thing you're not appearing on television. I don't think they could find a big enough screen. No offense intended, judge. Oh, that's all right, judge. That was very funny. Well, I suppose you have your speech all written and rehearsed. Well, that's what I had. Leroy, I haven't had the pleasure of hearing you play the piano for a long time. Judge, it's getting a little late, and I think Leroy will really have to get on his homework now. Well, I certainly wouldn't want to keep him from me studying. Oh, of course not. Right along, Leroy. You, too, Marjorie. Good night, judge. Good night, my dear. Good night, judge. Good night, Leroy. I know you're going to study hard. Sure. Well, judge, certainly glad you came over tonight. Oh, Bushwa. Huh? You're after something, guilty. Why, judge, what makes you say that? I know you, my fat friend. When you have me over here for dinner and play me with 27-cent cigars or something you want. Now, what is it? Well, you see, judge, this speech I'm going to give. Oh, I thought so. Having trouble with it. Hey, guilty? Well, I... You can't even give a little talk about your own department. Well... You're a big fathead. Too big a fathead to write it yourself. So, you thought you'd get me to do it. Well, I... Okay, guilty. I'll do it. You will? I shouldn't encourage a faker like you. But after all, you are a fellow jolly boss. Horace, I don't know how to thank you. Besides, it'll be a much better speech if I write it. Oh, sure. By the way, guilty, I chance to drop into Floyd's this afternoon. Floyd's? Yes, I happen to give him a rather large tip. He told me all about your little scheme. Oh? Why, that dirty double-crosser. Guilty, did you ever hear the story of the mule and the flea? That's right, Adeline. I'll be on the air tonight at 8.15. WSUM. I hope you'll be listening, Adeline. You will? What's that? The speech. Oh, no, it wasn't much trouble to write. Nothing to it. Goodbye. Hello, Mrs. Folsom. This is Mr. Gildersleeve's secretary at the water department. He asked me to call all our subscribers and tell them about his radio speech tonight. Yes, 8.15. Hope you'll tune in. Goodbye. Hello, Miss Ticken. This is Birdie, Mr. Gildersleeve's cook. He asked me to call up all the neighbors and tell them he's going to be on the radio tonight. 8.15. Yes, ma'am, and he hopes you'll tune in. Thanks for listening. Hello, Piggy. Yeah, this is me, Roy. Uncle said I had to call all the kids and tell them he's going to be on the radio tonight. Or you can't hear him? You're going to a show tonight? You're lucky, I've got to listen. Let's see. They said to come to Studio A. Yeah, that must be it. It's the only studio they've got. I hope the judge is here with my speech. He would wait till the last minute, the old goat. Well, it was nice of him to write it, though. Hello. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve? Yes, sir. I mean, yes. Hi, Mr. Benson, the station manager. How do you do? You're late. Oh, well, I... You know, I have to look over your speech before you go on the air. Your speech? Yes, station policy. May I have it, please? Well, I don't have it with me. What? You see, Judge Hooker is writing it. I mean, he's typing it. The junk? Yes. He types much faster than I do. He uses the touch system. Oh. See, I'm a hunting peck man myself. Yes. You ought to be here any minute, though. Well, he better be. I've got to go over it. We'll have to cut three minutes off your speech. You will? Yes, so we can broadcast the results of the Summerfield horseshoe tournament. Well, the horseshoe is... Well, that's all right. Anything you say doesn't really make much sense. Hello, Gildy. Well, I've got your speech. You just finished writing it. Judge, this is Mr. Benson, the station manager. Oh, how do you do? How do you do? Yes, sir. Gildy, if I do say so myself, it's one of the best speeches I've ever... Thanks a lot, Judge. Looks like an excellent typing job. What? Well, it's almost time to go on the air. May I see the speech, please? Of course. I have to look it over, you know. In case we want to make any changes. Just a few little changes, Horace. You won't have to make any changes in this speech, young man. It might be turned a little classic of rhetoric. Well, we'll see about that. Anyway, we'll have to cut out three minutes. What? We need time for the horseshoe tournament. You mean you would dare to hack up this work of art? No, Judge. It's only three minutes. If you'll please give me the speech. We have much time. We'll not cut one syllable. Judge. Don't you worry, Gildy. I'll protect you. Protect me? Look, gentlemen, we'll have to hurry. Don't worry, Mr. Benson. He'll give it to you. No, I won't. He's not going to push you around, Gildy. What? It seems to me you have a lot to say about this for a typhus. Typhus? He's only kidding, Judge. No, I'm not. Do I get that speech or don't I? Young man, rather than let you touch one single comma, I'll tear the whole thing in two. Judge, please. All right. Go ahead and tear it. All right. I will. Oh, no, Judge. Yipe! Judge! How can I make the speech? I'll tear it again. I'll make confetti out of it. Judge! Mr. Gildersleeve, your program is canceled. Canceled? We showed it, didn't we, Gildy? Oh, yeah, we sure did. Fair for the great Gildersleeve again very shortly. For a luncheon main dish, have you ever served hot pan fried Belvita sandwiches? That's a grand idea and easy. Between slices of bread put good thick slices of craft, smooth-melting cheese-food Belvita. Fry the sandwiches in a skillet of margarine until the bread is gold and brown on both sides, and the Belvita melting so that its cheddar cheese flavor tastes extra rich in savory. Then pop the sandwiches onto a hot platter and surround them with broiled tomato halves. So good and thrifty, too. Remember, Belvita is one of the important protein foods, and it helps supply other important nutrients from milk. Get several packages or a two-pound loaf tomorrow for snacks and grand hot Belvita dishes, too. And in the finals, there was a new horseshoe champion crowned tonight, but Art Sigmund defeated Lefty Conklin by a score of 21 to 19. It was a thrilling seesaw battle all the way, but Art clinched the title by pitching two double-ringers and three leaners. And that concludes our broadcast of the results of the Summerfield Horseshoe Tournament. Thank you for listening. Ladies and gentlemen, you have just heard the horseshoe results brought to you by our guest announcer, Brock Morton P. Gildersleeve. Thank you, Mr. Gildersleeve. You're welcome. Anyway, I got on the radio. Good night, folks. The Great Gildersleeve is played by Harold Curry. It was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross and Richard Legrand. This is John Wall saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Tomorrow night, Charles Boyet will be Al Jolson's guest on the Kraft Music Hall heard over most of these NBC stations. Don't miss it. Remember, tomorrow night, for exact time, see your local papers. And be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve. Good night. The next time you have to fix a hurry-up meal, open a package of Kraft Dinner. In a twinkling, you can have a piping hot dish of fluffy-like macaroni and cheese. Each package of Kraft Dinner contains a special macaroni that cooks in just seven minutes and golden Kraft grated for a grand cheddar cheese flavor. Two magic ingredients for making delicious macaroni and cheese in a jiffy. And Kraft Dinner costs just a few cents a serving. For a quick, easy, economical main dish, get Kraft Dinner from your food store tomorrow. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.