 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia I'm a jolly good fellow for they a jolly good fellow Quiet for heaven's sake we'll wake up the whole neighborhood. There isn't any neighborhood around We're alone in the middle of the night in the middle of our driveway in the middle of Connecticut Or it's a jolly good fellow You will wake up the neighbor he moved to the country mrs. Brown So he'd have no neighbors. We're all alone in the middle of the night in the middle of our driveway Connecticut, I think we ought to maybe be quieter Travels power in the dead of night and there are some people who live a half a mile or so away Well, let's go in the house. We can be as noisy as we want and wake up fritz and bertha and the baby and the cat and the dog and the rooster I should say not we are going to be noisy. We will be noisy quietly agree out here in the driveway Agreed. Agreed for mama's a jolly good fellow But Claudia's a jolly good fellow for they a jolly good fellow that nobody can deny Pretty good. What time is it jolly good fellow? Half past eleven already Oh, what a wonderful first anniversary we celebrated. I'm stuffed with lobster up to my ears. We're wonderful lobsters. Not bad. Not bad. Oh, you're so blasé I hate to go in the house. It's such a beautiful coolish night. I don't know about you, but I'm off to bed My lobsters are getting sleepy. They tell me lobsters do need a lot of sleep. David, do you have a key? Well, certainly I have the key I think mama's right. It's time for all good people to go to bed. But I don't want to be good people I want to keep on celebrating my first wedding anniversary all night. Well, celebrate it while you are asleep And just tonight I'll bet you I won't dream Life's like that. Give me the key, David. Look, just because I'm going to bed, there's no reason for you to If it's good enough for you mama, it's good enough for us Is that an owl? She's coming to wish us a happy first wedding anniversary. Congratulations, David Norton Congratulations, Claudia Norton Congratulations, Mrs. Brown All right, thank you. All right, thank you Nothing at all She's a beautiful night. So many stars I'm glad we moved to the country There are many more stars in the country than there are in New York And two of the brightest ones are in your eyes You're so poetical The lobster in it is talking We're going to stand on this doorstep all night. It's a lovely doorstep, too Everything is lovely Bluff has come to join us Come on, come on, old boy Such a good sight to have taken him with us It wasn't nice to leave him home when we were off celebrating Oh, Bluffo, you wouldn't want him to come, would you? You wanted to stay here and protect our homestead That big sissy, he couldn't protect her mouth Come and shock Bluff, be quiet Quiet, quiet, quiet down Oh, now he's gone and awakened all his friends There'll be no peace in Eastbrook tonight There should be no peace in Eastbrook tonight After all, it's our first wedding anniversary, isn't it? Eh, goodness, it only comes once a year It only comes once a year to the outside world But for me, it comes 365 times and I'll leave you at 366 Well, what do you know, Mama? Your daughter knows how many days there are in a year The little show-off Good night You don't really mean it, do you? Oh, yes, I do The buzzing with that key, Mrs. Brown, the door is not locked Why didn't you tell me? I've been ruining my eyes Looking for that keyhole Well, they don't lock doors in Connecticut No, I shall disappear into the house You're not supposed to disappear until midnight Are you hinting that I'm an old witch on a broom? No, no, no, no You are the fairy godmother on a moonbeam I can't take any more of this You're turning my head Good night, children Good night, Mama Sweet dreams And I do want to say this It's been a lovely year, hasn't it? You both made me very happy I sleep very easily now It's the country air that does it More than that, you know it Anyway, here's to another year And lots more country air Good night Good night, Mrs. Brown I hope I'll be like Mama someday Well, every chicken becomes an egg Or every egg becomes a chicken, as the saying goes Every egg does not become a chicken You told me so Now, don't split yolk Oh, no more, no more Oh, are you calling it a night? Let's take a little walk You feel like walking at the strangest time What, strange about the middle of the night? Anyway, whoever said the night was lonesome Was just crazy I don't think he was so crazy There are nights that never end And nights that can be terrifying When you're alone Don't you ever feel alone? No, not anymore Do you used to? I certainly did If your father died, the nights Must have been terrifying And before I met you I missed something, didn't I? I'm glad you missed it I wonder I've been so lucky Everything was always so perfect Mom and I Before I'd even outgrown being a daughter There was you And I was a wife Then, not such a bad wife at that David, I don't know how you stood me The first few months we were married I had to hang all my teeth some of the time I'll admit I just didn't know anything about anything Oh, what a dope I was Look, you don't have to convince me of that I wasn't good for anything I was ignoramus around the house Ignoramus, actually Remember the things I used to try and cook? The pies I burned The eggs I hard-boiled And the salmon most we ate For days and days and days and days and days Don't talk about salmon My lobster resents it Listen, you remember the time I scraped The paint off the window with your razor blade? I certainly do I tried to scrape the beard off my face With the same blade I don't know, I forget You know I would a-whale the daylights out of you Come to think of it You did A good whaling? A swell whaling Isn't anybody asleep tonight? Of course not, it's our anniversary Now, let's see, only Twenty more minutes of it David, let's sit down here on the side of our own hill You can see out all over the country Look, there's a light in my room I bet you twenty cents You went in and kissed Bobby goodnight That is not a fair bet, of course you did Look at how the light in her room Shows up the green in all the trees How long the shadows are It's the only light for miles Still Poor Shakespeare Maybe we ought to get him married, too Maybe he is, who knows Cats tell no tales But Shakespeare has such a beautiful one I kill myself You certainly do Remember the night you gave him to me? The most positively do That was one of the most brilliant maneuvers Of my career as a husband If I do say so myself Brilliant Poor Shakespeare You are nothing but a little red herring For David's cold I wonder if Shakespeare remembers his brother Well, I certainly do So funny about life What is? It's always taking hostages For everything you receive, you have to give something back That holds even for cats We have Shakespeare, but to keep him We lost his brother You've learned a big lesson Well, I have an awful lot of big lessons left to learn Now we have a son I wonder what he'll cost us He cost you a lot already I don't mean money No, I don't mean money either What hostage for Bobby, David? A part of us I don't mind being less free than I was It's a very small price So far, we're lucky That's the only price to date But there are others Peace of mind, I suppose I guess behind the great excitement Of having a baby is the realization That in the having there can also be loss That makes Bobby twice as valuable Golly, I certainly started out a year ago Not knowing from beans Well, you had a big dose of beans I've gotten so I even like beans Think just a year ago, we were married Just you and I Only two people in the whole world No responsibilities, no problems, no nothing Don't tell me, young woman You didn't feel that you had a great adjustment to make Maybe I was mal-adjusted before I got married Because I don't feel as if I had to get adjusted All over again As a matter of fact, I feel adjusted now For the first time, I think In five years, you'll look back on tonight What you were so conceited about That's exactly what I'm doing now I mean, about a year ago It's been quite a year hasn't it? Look at us Sitting on the side of our hill In our very own farm This doesn't seem possible In our own son, our very own cat Our very own dog and rooster But we've certainly multiplied The tension of fritz and bertha Oh, Mama, put a light out How much darker it is now It always is You know, David It used to be when I read a book I always had to peek at the last chapter first Not anymore? No, I'd rather wait, see Don't grow up too fast Or I won't catch up with you It's almost midnight I'd better give you your anniversary present Not another one I haven't given you any one so far Much What is it? Ooh, now you're greedy Well, if you're gonna give it to me Come on, give it to me Don't make me die waiting Close your eyes and open your hands Mother hostess, can't I keep my eyes open too? You may not Oh, oh, fine, all right, all right I'm closed Now, open your eyes I don't have to, I know what it is I can feel it in the palm of my hand Well, if you're so smart Before I open my eyes, slip it on my finger, David Hold up your hand There you are Beautiful Engagement ring Before you say I shouldn't have spent the money The stone was my mother I'm glad I hope wherever she is, she knows Better late than never, huh? The day earlier would have been too soon I don't think people really know What getting engaged to be married means For a long time after It's very becoming too My engagement ring is beautiful 50-way blitterness I'm in the dark I didn't mean your ring What did you mean, David? Very becoming to you Being married is I don't know what I'd do without you I love you, Mrs. Norton And I love you, Mr. Norton You're the greatest of pleasure The greatest of love All If a man of the house comes home And says he's invited a few folks over for the evening Do you look surprised and pleased? Or just surprised? You can greet such announcements with care-free pleasure If you always keep enough Coca-Cola on ice for hospitality You might check your supply of Coke right now To be sure you're prepared for unexpected guests Mr. King, have Claudia and David come into the house yet? Yes, just a few minutes ago Strange, I didn't hear them Well, perhaps they were more subdued than usual They must have been, still they were very gay When I left them Their mood changes The anniversary isn't all gay at all Reckoning too Well, as long as they're safely tucked in I guess I'll go back to bed Sweet dreams, Mrs. B I'll have them life is sweet till dreams are Claudia agrees to that tonight But ask her tomorrow night, Mrs. Brown And she'll tell you it's a dog's life Of what? It's a dog's life And there are moments when she'll wish She could go to the dogs That sounds fascinating I'll be around tomorrow to hear the box Goodbye, Joe Goodbye Every day, Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed As of your friendly neighbor Who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying Au revoir And remember, whoever you are Whatever you do, wherever you may be When you think of refreshment Think of Coca-Cola Or Coca-Cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised And directed by William Brown Maloney Now, here's a word from your friendly neighbor Who bottles Coca-Cola