 Philosopher Emanuel Kant said, Love is not only a feeling of passion, it is also a choice to commit to, care for, and support another person. When it comes to a manipulative partner, these essential components of love may be absent or distorted. Being in love with a manipulator can be a confusing, challenging, and painful experience, especially when we've convinced ourselves that everything is fine. It's essential to recognize the signs of manipulation so that you can protect yourself from emotional harm, set healthy boundaries, and seek support. Here are five signs that you may be in love with a manipulator. Love bombing Think back to the early stages of your relationship with your partner. Did they make you feel like the center of the universe? Shower you with excessive kiff, love, and affection? Even saying, I love you, before getting to know you? Perhaps they tried to rush the relationship forward, discussing marriage, or the idea of moving in together before you were ready. This sounds like love bombing. But what exactly does that mean? According to psychology today, love bombing is a common tactic of manipulation where one partner bombs the other partner with overly affectionate behavior. Manipulators do this to gain trust and make their partner more dependent on them. While it may feel good to be the center of someone's world, love bombing is not a sign of genuine love and affection. It's important to note that, according to psychiatrist Dr. Deal Archer, excessive attention and affection does not always constitute love bombing if there is no further abuse. However, don't be surprised if you notice a devaluation phase where your partner stops showing affection and uses other forms of manipulation. Archer suggests that love bombing typically decreases or disappears altogether as the relationship progresses. Once the manipulator gains control, they may no longer feel the need to use love bombing as a tactic, and instead may resort to other manipulative tactics like gaslighting. Gaslighting! Everyone thinks you're crazy. You're imagining things. I never said that. I did this because you made me. This is your fault. Sound familiar? Gaslighters try to fill their victim with doubt and in turn make them question their own reality, furthering their control over them. Studies from the Open Journal of Medical Psychology found that gaslighters often use various tactics to achieve their goals, such as frequently denying things they've said, blaming others for their behavior, or twisting the truth to make themselves look good. You may find yourself doubting your own sanity or wondering if you're overreacting to situations. According to Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, manipulators may also use gaslighting to isolate you from others, making you think that they're the only one who cares. They may criticize your loved ones or create conflict between them, making it difficult for you to maintain those relationships. Does your partner say things like, your family doesn't really care about you or your friends are just trying to hold you back? This can make the victim feel like they can only rely on the manipulator for emotional support. Remember, you are never alone. You can always reach out to a mental health professional or find support groups for help. Your partner often plays the victim. Manipulators use the victim role as a way of diverting attention from their harmful behavior and gaining sympathy and support from others. They may even make you feel guilty for things that are not your fault. Aaron Leonard, PhD from Psychology Today, says that manipulators may do this by exaggerating or inventing their own struggles or portraying themselves as powerless and vulnerable. Even if they cause the problem, they may present themselves as the one who has been wronged. They don't want sympathy though, just control. By saying things like, nobody understands me or you don't appreciate everything I do for you, manipulators can induce feelings of guilt or responsibility in their victims and lead them to believe that the manipulator can do no wrong. It's crucial to recognize this behavior and avoid falling prey to a manipulator's victim playing tactics. Walking on eggshells. Do you feel like you're constantly tiptoeing around your partner's emotions, worried about upsetting them or saying the wrong thing? Do you find yourself making excuses for the manipulator's behavior in order to protect yourself or avoid conflict? Manipulators often use fear and intimidation to control their partner. They can be unpredictable and may react to extreme ways to minor things, leaving you feeling like you can't predict how they will react to a given situation. This can make it feel like you're constantly treading carefully and trying to avoid doing something that will cause an explosive reaction. This is a very stressful way to live and it can be exhausting to always be on guard. Remember, this isn't your fault. You deserve to feel safe and respected in a healthy relationship. In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People, author Shahidah Arabi encourages you to step away from self-blame and stop attempting to please someone who cannot be pleased. A toxic person's behavior cannot be changed unless they see a problem within themselves and are absolutely willing to work on themselves to change it. You feel like you're the only one putting in effort. Being in a relationship with a manipulator can be draining and it's not uncommon to feel like you're the only one putting in effort. Manipulators use their partner's love and devotion as a way of controlling them. Taking advantage of their willingness to do anything to keep the relationship going. Dr. Dale Archer in Psychology Today says that manipulators don't really care about their partner, only what they can do for them. If you're constantly trying to make things work while your partner is not putting in the same amount of effort, you may feel like you're carrying the weight of the relationship all on your own shoulders, which can be a very isolating and frustrating experience. In a healthy relationship, both parties should put in equal effort and respect each other's boundaries. Love goes two ways. If you're in a relationship with a manipulator and feel like your efforts are not being appreciated no matter how often you ask, it may be time to reevaluate the partnership. It can be difficult to recognize when someone is manipulating you. It's important to note that it's not just one sign, but rather a collection that could indicate manipulative tendencies in a partner. So where do you go from here? Psychologist Dr. Harriet Breaker says you should never try to change a manipulator, instead rather change your actions towards the manipulation. Try to step back and evaluate the situation objectively. Be firm in your boundaries. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, or consider speaking with a therapist who can help you process your emotions and develop a plan for how to move forward. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and you always have the power to make choices that prioritize your own well-being. If you enjoyed this video, please leave a like and share it with someone who may need it. Click the notification bell to be notified whenever we post a new video. Are you looking for a cuddly companion that brings positivity and mental wellness to your daily life? Get your very own Psy. The lovable plushie is here to brighten your days. It embodies the spirit of Psych2Go, and it serves as a reminder to prioritize your mental well-being. Its green leaf symbolizes growth, renewal, and the importance of self-care, whether it's for yourself or as a thoughtful gift for a loved one. Psy is ready to be your smugly friend through all of life's ups and downs. Buy your Psy plushie today. Link is listed in the description box.