 This past weekend my roommates and I, Dr. Ed, Nurse Natasha, Gary Gray, and our Butler Hans all crammed into the Bloodmobile, headed to the theater to check out Pearl. Bloodmobile? It's a piece of shit 20 year old PT Cruiser. I rode in the trunk. Pearl is the prequel to the movie X, which came out not even a year ago. How did they make a prequel so quick? Ty West and Mia Goff came up with the idea as they were developing her character while shooting X. How come you didn't ask us to be a net review? I covered it when it came out really dug it, so of course we all have to sit down and talk about Pearl. This movie is directed by Ty West. He co-wrote it with the movie's lead, Mia Goff. The plot is very simple. It tells us the story of how Pearl was pushed off the deep edge, turning her into the woman we met 60 years later in X. So what do we think of the movie? The cinematography was beautiful. I love the acting. I like the farmhouse with the animals. Mia Goff is fucking hot. Come on Ed, have some class. Good kills, good gore, good effects. Personally, I thought this movie was fucking great. I can see the future of horror in this movie. Now without giving away too many spoilers, let's talk about some of the things that makes this movie really special. First off is the setting. This movie takes place in 1918. Ah, the year I crash landed on this planet. That's like over a hundred years ago. Just think about that a hundred years ago. How different were things a hundred years ago? I remember. I'm a hundred and fifty. Not one gray hair. But at the same time, this movie does a great job of reminding us how much things are actually the same. There are still cars and trucks and airplane. There's still movie theaters, pornography and booze. There's still war and violence and a pandemic. Because it takes place in 1918, the Spanish flu is sweeping the country. Are those people wearing masks? Not the stylish as me though. I had the Spanish flu twenty times. This is a great device to make us, who never lived a hundred years ago, invested in this time period. Because we've been dealing with the same thing for the last two goddamn years. We know what it's like to feel the fear and the isolation and what that does to your mental health. All of this has something to play in Pearl's ultimate downfall. She should have come to me for some shock treatment or lobotomy. The movie mostly takes place at the farmhouse, which we're introduced to in X. This is owned by Pearl's parents. She's living with them while her husband is off fighting World War One. Her father is in a catatonic state and they're constantly having to take care of them. And again, this is something we can all relate to. The burden of family and being tied to them and feeling like you can't escape or else you're a bad person. I know what it's like to take care of rotten people. The cinematography in this movie is really fantastic. It is a beautiful looking movie, just like X. But it's also a very different looking movie than X. It's not dark and moody and full of fog and mist. It's bright and colorful. Most of this movie takes place during the day, which again for a horror movie is very unusual. But it's realistic as not all bad things happen at night. The characters in this movie are fantastic. Of course, Pearl is going to be a great character. There's no denying that. But all the side characters are great too. Pearl's mom, the hardworking German immigrant who just wants the best for her family. Pearl's mom's a hard ass, but looks like she makes a mean stew. And this poor woman sees evil in her own daughter. And how do you handle that? That gets bottled up inside until finally they have an explosive confrontation. And when I mean explosive, someone starts on fire. The dynamic between Mia and her mom is awesome. You can't wait for a good cat fight. The projectionist at the theater that Pearl has a little fling with is another great character because he's multi-dimensional, the several layers to him. On the surface, he seems like just a sweet guy. And then you find out there's a bit of a seedy side to him. Back when being a projectionist was a skill. There's Pearl's sister-in-law who is the complete opposite of her. She's the blonde, beautiful, perfect American looking girl. I think the dad was the best actor. He just fucking sat there. You can't have great characters without great acting. The acting in this movie is amazing. And a lot of that falls on Mia Goth's shoulders. She pretty much carries the movie and does a fantastic job at doing that. There is one scene in particular where she delivers this long monologue. And there are no cuts. It's one shot of her acting her ass off and doing a fantastic job. This may be the best acting job done by a lead actor in a horror movie. If she doesn't win an award, I'm gonna riot. The subject matter in this movie is great because it's something we can all relate to. Mental health. And wanting to be somebody special. Wanting to be somebody different. And trying to escape the shadow of your parents. Who didn't want to be someone special and famous when they're growing up? I'm sure all of us wanted to be something more than what we are now when we're kids. I wanted to be a dumb jock champion. I wanted to be a gynecologist. I wanted to be a fire truck. I wanted to be a dancer. I wanted to be a famous actor or musician. Now I'm doing this. And that's where Pearl starts to snap. When she realizes that she can't necessarily fulfill her dreams. Isn't that something we can all relate to? How many of us actually get to live out our dreams in full? Barely any of us. So there's a bit of Pearl in all of us. But most of us have the ability to cope with failure. Pearl does not. And that is basically the straw that breaks the camel's back. And again, that's something we can all relate to is failing. We've all failed at something in our life. So this movie is very relatable. I can't think of another movie where you can relate to the main murderer as much as this movie. I really hope that this style of movie is the future of horror. Because it broke so many cliches. Most of it doesn't take place at night. There are no jump scares at all. Not one jump scare. Thank God. I don't like jump scares. Jump scares. Who needs them? The main character, the slasher, let's say, is a human that we can relate to. That we care for. That we're invested in emotionally. Who we actually want to see succeed. Not at killing. But actually beat the temptation to become a murderer. This movie for me was such a breath of fresh air. Because it tore down so many stereotypes. One thing I can nitpick about this movie is the ending. I thought it was a little abrupt and a little anti-climactic. Give me another five minutes to show how some loose ends were tied up. Even if it was during the credit roll, I would have been happy with that. And I had the same issue with X actually where the ending was a little bit too... I don't like when she kills the animals. But I like when she kills the people. Also Pearl's long monologue, as amazing as it was I felt it went on a little bit too long. Yeah, that monologue was too fucking long. So cut down the monologue a bit. Give me a few extra minutes at the end. And this movie would have been an A plus instead of just an A. So yes, short and sweet. This movie was brilliant. Go check it out. I've seen some complaints about this movie saying it's too slow. I love a slow burn. And I wouldn't even call this movie a slow burn. Because it's more of just a character study. That's not a slow burn. It's just a great fucking thriller. So if you want to see what I think is the future of horror movies, don't hesitate. Go check out Pearl. And I can't wait for the X sequel. Okay, we've talked long enough. This is supposed to be a short review. Now watch my dancing!