 Heading the list was this item, three packages of Jell-O, orange, lemon, and strawberry. Mr. Lapworth writes, I didn't realize that Jell-O has been on the market for many years, but I wish I had a dollar for every package we bought since our first order. For Jell-O makes a bang-up dessert easily made, more easily eaten, most easily digested. Well, thank you Mr. Lapworth, and ladies and gentlemen, that's the way Jell-O keeps its friends right down through the years. It's been America's favorite gelatin dessert for over 40 years and no wonder. For it's Jell-O that brings you that delicious extra-rich fruit flavor, which can't be topped for tempting goodness. So look for those big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O, a miracle played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you our master of ceremonies. That suave, comedian, and sophisticated humorist, Maxwell Stroud. Now, wait a minute, Don, I refuse to accept that introduction. No matter what Fred Allen says, I'm not Maxwell Stroud. I'll change it immediately. Okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, this being the first week of spring, we bring you that quince on the fruit tree of life, Jack Benny. That's better. Anyway, Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, thanks very much for that royal introduction. It was awfully nice of you to call me a prince. Oh, don't mention it. I'll see you later. But you're right, Don. Spring is here. Flowers are blooming, trees are budding. It's getting warmer every day. Oh, it sure is. Oh, by the way, Jack, have you taken your long underwear off yet? No, I always unveil in April. But you know, Don, this spring weather has done my cold a world of good. I tell you, it's simply marvelous to be living here in sunny Los Angeles. Yes, sir. Sonny? Why, Jack, there hasn't been any sun here in over two weeks. Of course not. It's going to San Francisco for the fair. But it'll be back. I am looking much better, though, don't you think? Oh, you certainly aren't. Incidentally, how's Carmichael, your polar bear? Oh, he's fine, Don. Getting along swell. Now, you know, I've been taking him out for long walks nearly every day. You and the bear? Oh, sure. And you know, Don, I was so embarrassed yesterday that we were strolling down Hollywood Boulevard, and all of a sudden, Carmichael pulled out a tin cup. Oh, I don't know where he got it. Not much, you don't. Phil, I was talking to Don. But as long as you're here, I want to thank you for taking my place on the program last week when I was sick in bed. That's all right, Jack. Say those jokes of mine were pretty hot, weren't they? Hot. They were warmed over, if that was the case. Hot. You got the next line, Phil. Go ahead. What are you waiting for? You just ate Modrun, that's all. Modrun, what a combination, corny and illiterate. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello. Say, Jack, I saw you and your polar bear on the Boulevard yesterday. Boy, what a crowd you had around you. Yes, we were quite a sensation, weren't we? Yeah, but I thought you were overdoing it with your violin. Now, Mary, don't jump at conclusion. It just so happens that I was taking my violin to the repair shop. Sounded all right to me. Now, Mary, don't make up things. You know, very well, I was not playing that violin. Then why was the bear dancing? Because the pavement was hot and keeps ill. Gee, where's the way you're questioning me? I think I didn't have an amusement license. Now, let's forget it. What territory are you working next week? Westlake Park. Will you be there? We start out with a program about spring and here we are in Westlake Park. Can I unpack the lunch? Now, stop this. Phil, I think you better play a number before the ants spoil our little picnic. OK. Oh, no, you don't, Phil Harris. I just wrote a poem about spring and you're all going to hear it. Now, Mary, we're not going to listen to a lot of... You are, too. Oh, all right, get it over with. What's the title of your poem? When it's springtime in the Rockies, I will throw some rocks at you. Now, there's a sentimental thought. Go ahead, Mary. Winter, you have gone away. Where you are, I cannot say. But spring is here and birdies sing. Gee, I'm happy, pling, pling, pling. Pling, pling, pling, what's that for? I'm playing a banjo. Oh, I didn't see it. Continue. I saw a robber not long ago making a nest of grass and snow. Snow? And then I saw an old blue jay building his nest in Jack's toupee. Isn't that silly? Yesterday, I spent two hours watching the bees among the flowers. Buzz, buzz, buzz, they were making honey. And I got stung where it wasn't funny. Well, it's your own fault. Last verse, take it, Don. You can have your spring with birds and bees. I'll take a dish of jello, please. It's tempting, delicious, and oh, so divine. All our folks at the end of the line. Well, that was very good, both of you. Now, Phil, if you'll put down your nail file, how about a number? What's it going to be? I'm going to play a little ditty entitled, we don't know where mom is, but we've got pop on ice. Oh. Phil, now you pick up that baton and redeem yourself. We got pop on ice. I'm going to get some shut-eye played by Phil Harris. I don't know where mom is, but we got pop on ice. Wow, Phil, no kidding. How can you possibly be so corny? Corny, I resent that, Jack. I'm high class. All right, then have it your way. You're cream of corn. Say, that was a fast one, ain't very? Yeah, that was a stinger. I'm glad that's over with. I was a little worried about how you were going to read that. And now, folks, now, folks, since our feature attraction this evening is rather long, I will start announcing it without further ado. Tonight, the busy Benny Bumpkins will present a hotel mystery drama entitled... Hey, Jack, look at Kenny standing over there, biting his nails. Oh, yeah. Hello, Kenny. Hello. What's the matter with you? Nothing's the matter with me. That's what. Now, Kenny, I know there's something bothering you. What is it? I'll suffer alone, thank you. Kenny Baker, I don't want you coming in here with a long face. Now, what's wrong? Did you ever buy a ticket on the Ari sweepstakes? Yes. Did you win? No. Well, put yes and no together and leave me alone. Oh, so that's it. Listen, Kenny, everybody can't win. You bought a ticket, so what? Two dollars and a half shot to Dante's Inferno. All right, all right. Don't be such a hard loser. Look who's talking. Quiet. Now, folks, getting back to our play in our hotel mystery, I will play the part of the clerk. Or clerk, as they say in England. Or clerk, as they say in Waukegan. Phil, have you so much money saved up that you can afford to add lib at random? If not, I would suggest less levity. Now, let's see. I'm going to be the clerk. And, Mary, you're going to be the telephone operator. Okay. Say, Jack, why don't you be the house detective? Because I don't want to. I'm going to be the clerk. See, two flat feet gone away. Never mind that. Now, this murder mystery will go on immediately. I'll never eat another Irish potato, believe me. Kenny, will you forget about that sweepstake ticket? Now, folks, as I've been trying to say, this murder mystery will go on immediately after... Come in. Pardon me, is this the Jello program? Yes, it is. What can I... Well, of all people, Ed Sullivan, how are you, Ed? I'm fine, Jack. How are you? Well, well, it certainly is a pleasant surprise. Nice of you to drop in, Ed. We're doing a swell play tonight. You'll enjoy it. Well, thanks, but to tell the truth, Jack, I really came up here for another reason. Oh, well, it's sure good to see you again. Say, Ed, I don't think you've ever met my gang. This is Mary Livingston, our leading lady. How do you do, Miss Livingston? Mary, this is Ed Sullivan. He writes a very famous newspaper column. I never saw my name in it. Mary. Don't mind her, Ed. She's a little blunt. She's a little brat, too. Yes. Yes. She is. Now, there are Don Wilson and Phil Harris. Harris is the one with the false eyelashes. Right there. Oh, I know them both. How are you, fellas? How are you, Ed? And, oh, yes, I want you to meet our young tenor, Kenny Baker. Kenny, this is Ed Sullivan. Hello, Kenny. Oh, an Irishman, eh? Give me my 250 bag. Kenny. Mr. Sullivan has nothing to do with the Irish sweepstakes. You see, Ed, he's a little upset because he didn't win. Oh, come now, Kenny, I bought a ticket and I didn't win either. Oh, a sucker, huh? Kenny, I've had about enough from you. Now go over in the corner and lay down. Jolly little troupe you have here. Yes. Well, Ed, we're just about to put on our little play, so sit down and make yourself comfortable. Now, wait a minute, Jack. I didn't come up here to watch your program. I'm here as a reporter. Oh, well, what's on your mind, Ed? I want to get the low down on this Maxwell Stroud stuff. Now, what about it? Are you Jack Benny or Maxwell Stroud? Ed, believe me, I'm Jack Benny. And until two weeks ago, I never even heard of Maxwell Stroud. The last Wednesday night, Fred Allen had the real Jack Benny on his program and a notary public from walk. He can approve it. Now, wait a minute, Ed. You and I have been friends for a good many years. We started on our careers at the same time. We've paled around together from the bright lights to Broadway to the battle-scarred trenches of France. I don't remember that. Well, we stuck together through thick and thin. You and I, the two of us, we've called each other buddy. Now, whom do you believe, me or the notary? The notary, buddy. Well, maybe I didn't build it up enough. But look, Ed, regardless of what Allen said, you know that my name has always been Jack Benny. Well, you could have changed it, you know. Take my case, for instance. My name wasn't always Sullivan. Oh, no, what was it? Hooligan. Hooligan? Yes, Edward H. Hooligan. Oh, what's the H for? Happy. Marry. Now, look, Ed, don't pay any attention to Allen. I'm the real Jack Benny and you can tell your readers tomorrow that I'm not Maxwell Stroud. Well, let me ask you something. What about that ring you're wearing? What about it? Well, what does that MS stand for? Mostly silver. It does not. That MS on my ring stands for Master of Ceremony. Master of Ceremony? Ceremony begins with a C. In Russian? Well, I got this ring in Moscow when I was playing Rasputin's Rivelly. I went over very big. Now, Ed, will you please sit down and watch our play? Oh, no, I'm here for a story and I'm going to get it. Say, why don't you run out and get drunk like reporters do in the movies? Don't evade the issue. Fred Allen has definite proof that you're an imposter. You're not Jack Benny. I'm not, eh? Well, you call up Mansel Talcott, the Marowakhegan. He'll tell you why he planted a great big elm tree in the public square in my honor. Call him up. I tried to, but he wouldn't come down out of the tree. Oh, is he up there again? Ever since he visited Hollywood, he thinks he's Tarzan. Now, we got a long play to do tonight, Ed, and I haven't time to discuss this any longer. All right, Mr. Benny or Stroud or whatever your name is, I'll go, but I'll be back and get to the bottom of this or my name ain't Edward Happy Hooligan Sullivan. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hmm, what a prying prunella. What? Why, were you Jack out of punch to write in the nose? Now, Mary, how could I hit a man wearing glasses? He wasn't wearing glasses. Well, I am. And now, folks, our hotel mystery will go on immediately after Kenny Baker's song. Go ahead, Kenny. How can I sing when my money lies over the ocean? Sing, Kenny. I've had enough for one day. And where's my cigar? Over sleepy ego. Oh, the middle sun is sinking low. Well, sung by Kenny Baker. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our play, that great hotel mystery entitled... Now, the scene of our drama is the lobby of the Hotel Chafing Dish, located in the thriving little town of Sterno, Pennsylvania. It is a dark and stormy night. Outside, the wind is howling and whistling. Gazoops, what weather? It is 8 p.m., just one hour before the stroke of nine. What happened then? Nothing. Curtain. Music. Sing, Hotel Chafing Dish. Here's your party. Good evening. What's that, sir? Oh, that's terrible. You'll do no such thing. What seems to be the trouble, Miss Labanze? Mr... Mr. Furncly from 503 wants to send some money down to pay his bill. Money? What's wrong with that? Two hours ago, he ordered some paper, green ink, and a picture of Lincoln. Oh, is he doing that again? Last week, he gave me a $5 bill with baby snooks on it. Oh, well. What a night. Good evening, sir. Good evening. I'd like a room, please. Would you like a room with a bath, or do you want to follow the arrow? We, uh, we have both. It doesn't matter. I won't be here long. I see. Frant, take this gentleman's luggage up to 401. Be careful of that alligator bag. It hasn't had lunch yet. You know something? I think that guy is nuts. Oh, tush-tush, Miss Labanze. He's all right. Well, sir, I hope you have a good night's rest. You look tired. Yes, I had a tough day at Waterloo. Hmm. That three-cornered hat should have tipped me off. Yes? Oh, pardon me, but the folding bed in my room is stuck, and I can't get it down. We'll take care of it, Mr. Baldome. Thank you. Goodbye. Good evening. Yes, Mr. Smith. What? There's a hippopotamus in your bathtub. Well, put your glasses on and apologize to your wife. Mrs. Smith is a pretty big woman. Well... Well, well, how do you do? Hello. I'd like a room. I just got married. Oh, a newlywed, eh? Where's your wife? Outside. She's carrying the trunk. Carrying the trunk? My goodness. Is it heavy? I think so. She never had bow legs before. Here she is. You can put it down now, Sophie. Thanks, Baldomar. You're so considerate. Say, you've got her trained early, haven't you? Yeah. Y'all to see me balance a ball on my nose. Balance a ball? That's the only seal I ever saw with a rabid coat. Quiet, Miss LeBons. What sort of a room would you folks like? We want the bridal suit. Suit? That's sweet. Sweet. Lay off of my wife, you masher. I'm not flirting with your wife. As a matter of fact, I think she's very homely. Well, that's more like it. Ron, take this happy couple up the sweet 5B. Let's hurry upstairs, honey. I don't want to miss the Lone Ranger. Following that, too. Good night, kitties. Good night. Gee, they're... they're a romantic couple. Good evening, Hotel Chasing Dish. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Who are you saying yes to? My darling daughter. Oh, how is Joni? Pardon me, but the folding bed in my room is still stuck. I can't get it down. I'll get to it as soon as possible, Mr. Baldome. Please do. Goodbye. Charming fellow. Well, more business. Good evening. I'd like to get a room. Yes, sir. What's your name, please? Phil Harris. Oh, you better have baggage, brother. No stalling now. Where are your bags? Under my eyes, straight man. Don't be so smart and get out of here. We have no room. Okay. I'll sleep at the Wilshire Bowl. What a showoff. Well, here comes Junior Wilson, the little devil. Hello, Donald. Hello. Now, Donald, little boy like you should be in bed this hour or night. Don't you want to grow up to be a fine, strong man like your father? That big tub. Now, Junior, that isn't nice. I don't care. I'm going to be a radio announcer. I want to tell everybody, but Jello has six delicious waivers. Strawberry, raspberry, cherries, orange, women and wine. Don't forget the big, wet letters on the blocks. What have you got in your mouth? Now, go to bed. Good night, Junior. Good night, Quinn's face. Quinn's face. I have trouble with my face. Quinn's face. I have trouble with your father on that. You know, Miss LeVance, that Junior is a cute little rascal. He's got big blue eyes just like his mother. Yes, but his chins belong to Daddy. Daddy can take the rap for his stomach, too. Oh, well. Yes, sir? What can I do for you? Have you any rooms available? Well, certainly. Quite a bad storm, isn't it? Yes, yes, it is. Will you be staying long? No, just for the night. I'm on my way to New York. Oh, a little business trip? Not exactly. You see, I'm on a mission of great importance, and I don't wish to discuss it. Well, I didn't mind a mean to pry into your affairs, Mr., uh, Mr. Stroud, Maxwell Stroud. Maxwell Stroud. Well, slap me down and call me grumpy. Please, Miss LeVance, you seem rather nervous, Mr. Stroud. What's wrong? Can I trust you, young man? Definitely. Well, for two weeks now, a certain well-known radio comedian in New York City has been perpetrating a vile and vicious slander. Yes? He claims that a certain Jack Benny, whom he hates... Yes, yes, I know. ...is not Jack Benny at all... Yes, yes, yes. ...but really Maxwell Stroud. But you are Maxwell Stroud. Exactly. And when I get to New York, the whole world will know of the cheap trickery that's been foisted on the public by this nasal baffoon. Well, I'm with you, Mr. Stroud. Here's the key to your room. Thank you. By the way, are you acquainted with Jack Benny? No, but I understand he's revolting. Good night. Good night. Well, Miss LeVance, that's very important news we just heard. I'll say it is. Uh, pardon me, but the folding bed in my room is still stuck and I can't get it down. Don't worry, Mr. Baldwin, we'll take care of it first thing in the morning. I wish you would. My wife is in it. Well, I'll attend to it at once. My, my, this is certainly a busy night. Hey, you, did a fellow check in here a few minutes ago by the name of Maxwell Stroud? Yes, he did. What room is he in? 313. Wait a minute, who are you? I'm Ed Sullivan of New York Daily News, the Pittsburgh Press, the Hollywood Citizen News, the Boston Traveler, the Philadelphia Ledger, the Omaha World Herald of Denver Post, and the Chicago Tribune. Did you hear those shots, Miss LeVance? Yes, they came from upstairs. I suspected something like that. Follow me. You don't think he'd go first, do you? Oh, no, come on, let's go. Good heavens, it's Maxwell Stroud. He's dead. I thought so. Now we've got to find out who done it. That's who did it, fine newspaper man. But who in the world would want to kill Maxwell Stroud? Someone jumped through that window and he's running down the fire escape. That must be the murderer. Did you get a good look at him happy? No, I didn't. Look, here's the derby hat on the floor. He must have dropped it. Let me have that. Look at the initials inside of that hat. F-A. F-A? Yes. That proves the man who killed Maxwell Stroud was none other than... He got me. Yes, who done it? I told you before, that's who did it. I was shot by... I was shot by... I was shot by... I was on nuts, play field. If your family is feeling just a touch of spring fever, here's a dessert that will make them sit right up and take notice. It's the most delicious butterscotch pie that ever nestled in a crisp brown pie crust. Or you'll make it with jello butterscotch pudding. And let me tell you, it's a treat. Creamy, smooth and golden, tempting to look at and taste, rich with true butterscotch flavor, the real old fashioned kind. And it is easy as pie to make. No fussing around with the filling for you just prepare your jello butterscotch pudding as usual, according to the simple directions on the package. Then let it cool, pour it into the baked pie shell, and, well, there you are. If you want to be extra grand, cover your butterscotch pie with a foamy topping of whipped cream. The family will love it. They love jello chocolate pudding too and jello vanilla pudding, for all three have the real homemade goodness. So ask your grocer tomorrow for jello butterscotch chocolate and vanilla pudding. And be sure to make that butterscotch pie. Thank you, Ed Sullivan. We're a little late, folks. Good night. Make repairs on the jello program through courtesy of Marvel and the Rye Productions. This is the National Broadcasting Company.