 My principle of the dual mothership in the narcissist shirt fantasy says that the narcissist and His intimate partner or friend or colleague doesn't matter the narcissist and the partner in the shirt fantasy convert each other Into maternal figures in the search for Unconditional love and acceptance. It's like having a second childhood a chance Getting things right finally having failed in the original child But wait a minute. Many of you asked me Where is daddy in all this? Where's the father? What is the father's role? Well fathers of course are very important in personal development and growth But at a much later stage after age three years Mothers are the critical figures between zero and three years old When I say mother let it be clear It's anyone in the child's life in the infant's life anyone who fulfills a maternal role Anyone who is the primary caregiver the primary object Could be a grandfather grandmother Could be a neighbor in the absence of a mother of a functioning mother when the mother is what what is called in psychology a dead mother absent selfish seek instrumentalizing Barentifying abusive whatever when the mother is not there There's always another person very often another person who takes over the maternal role and that person is the mother I'm referring to The narcissist and his intimate partner Try to find in each other this maternal figure in order to resolve conflicts of early childhood that remain open and this is known as repetition compulsion Father comes into the picture much later Father is what is known as a socialization agent father brings into the picture Society it's edicts its expectations its scripts its beliefs its values and its injunctions now Everyone has can have daddy issues men and women alike People with mental health disorders such as borderline personality disorder and people who are completely healthy Anyone and everyone can have daddy issues When a woman has daddy issues when she has unresolved Unresolved conflicts or problems with her father She she is in six later in life when she becomes an adult she seeks care protection approval acceptance understanding support Validation adoration attention worship she seeks someone to tell her what reality is known as reality testing and Unconditional love now. We all are looking for these things, but women with daddy issues Looking for these things in a man who is much older and resembles a father figure men with daddy issues are looking for believe it or not pampering safety guidance instruction discipline Regulation of sense of self-worth grandiosity and Unconditional love these are Dispersed sentence of daddy issues in both gender a Father who is dysfunctional who is remote who is cold with distant who is rejecting a dead father so to speak affects the process of socialization a Saturation and the regulation of anxiety a Dead mother on the other hand does not allow the the child to separate from her and to become an individual So these are two distinct classes of problems when the mother is problematic Disfunctional instrumentalizes the child treats the child as an extension. There's a problem with separation individuation The child has never become a Person and the child would go through life Seeking to recreate and reenact the relationship with his mother So as to allow himself to separate and to individuate hence the repetitive patterns in relationships with narcissists idealization devaluation discard now when The father is the problem There will be an attempt to recreate a father figure who would stand in For society would bring the world into the person so in both cases We are this we are talking about situations where the father or the mother the original ones the biological ones have failed have failed to act as fathers or mothers and The opposite is also true when the child is pedestalized idolized pampered smothered when the child Experiences emotional incest when the relationship is Disproportionately and inappropriately close with father or with mother All these induces the same outcomes now people with daddy issues Can simultaneously have mommy issues Narcissists for example, they have mommy issues So they are looking to come they want to convert their intimate partners into mothers and then separate from these mothers newly found mothers, but many narcissists also have daddy issues and they would tend to be falling and people pleasing to a figure who is Authoritative and father-like avancula if you wish so that would go through life narcissists of this type compounded narcissists would go through life looking for both a maternal figure and a paternal figure a substitute mother and A substitute father do not conflate and confuse these issues. They're not the same