 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeves. Yeah! Kraft Cheese Company makers of Parquet Marchion and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. We'll hear from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. But first, let me tell you about the grand cheese food that gets such a royal welcome from shoppers every time a new supplier arrives at their favorite food store. Yes, it's your old favorite, Pabstet, the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred uses. Pabstet, an economical, nutritious cheese food, is such a wonderful help in preparing wartime meals we just wish there was a whole lot more of it to go around. Pabstet, you see, makes those smooth, appetizing cheese sauces that add such nourishing goodness to macaroni or noodles, cooked vegetables and fish, prepared in dozens of tempting ways. And Pabstet also spreads slices and toasts to perfection. So naturally it's in big demand too for sandwiches and for crackers with dessert. So ask for Pabstet and buy it when you can. Look for the round, flat package, the delicious golden cheese food, Pabstet. Now let's join our friend the Great Gilder Sleeve. The ups and downs of his campaign for mayor, plus the complications of his passion for Miss Eve Goodwin, have reduced him to a bulky shadow. Yesterday afternoon he inadvertently announced his engagement to Miss Goodwin at an Arbor Day rally. And now as he drops in at Peevy's drug store he's in a mood to accept congratulations. Love is the sweetest Well, thanks, Commissioner Gilder Sleeve. Oh, hi, Floyd. Who's taking care of the barbershop? Closed up. Shave them a quarter for the day, Commissioner. Have a soda? No, Floyd, you have one. I'm buying today. Where's Peevy? Out back there, making up some of my special hair tonic. Guaranteed to grow hair in a pool ball. Now if you only find some stuff, they'll grow hair in a human skull. I use it myself. Very good. Come on, what do you have, Floyd? Well, if you're buying, I'll have a cigar. What's the occasion, Miss Gilder Sleeve? Haven't you heard? I'm engaged to be married. Well, congratulations. Say, didn't you just get out of one? What do you mean? Well, wouldn't you engage to that Southern party with the... Well, that was some time ago, Floyd. This is different. This is the real thing. Well, if you're satisfied, why should I kick? Who's the... Miss Eve Goodwin. The school principal? Never would have thought of her. Why not? I don't know. I had a teacher once that I wondered about, but a principal. She's a very lovely woman, Floyd. Oh, sure. I wasn't casting any asparagus on the lady. Asparagus? Five gallons on the last little Christmas. Hello, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Hello, Peevy. Have a cigar. Well, I rarely use tobacco, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Is this some kind of an occasion? Sure is, Peevy. The commission has gone out and got himself engaged again. So are I here? Yes, Peevy. I'm engaged to the nicest woman in Summerfield. Come on, have a cigar. Well, as I say, I seldom smoke cigars, but just to be a good fellow, I'll ring one up. Oh, you're a prince, Peevy. I'll get out the box of Floyd and I can smoke. Yes, sir. Your, uh, regular brand? No, let's have the three-for-a-half model. Three-for-a-half at the end. Thanks, commissioner. I think you should be very happy, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Miss Goodwin always seemed like a nice, wholesome, substantial woman. Wholesome? Peevy, you make me sick. You haven't got a spark of romance in your whole system. Well, I wouldn't say that, huh? Well, don't call my fiance wholesome. Oh, no offense. I'm very happy if you've met Miss Wright. Was it, uh, love at first sight, would you say? Instantaneous. You can always... Well, Judge Hooker, come on in. Join the party, Judge. Thank you. Gilder Sleeve's given out cigars for his engagement. Yeah, that's right, Judge. Have a cigar? I've already offered my congratulations, but I'll accept the cigar. I wish you a long life of happiness, and I think you used a lucky girl. Oh, thank you, Horace. The commissioner claims it was love at first sight, Judge. There's no such thing as love at first sight, Floyd. Love is a matter of habit. Habit? Love is not like brushing your teeth, Horace. Well, I think there's something in what he says. Man, Floyd's a married man, Gilder. He ought to know. All right, Floyd, what's your theory? Well, I'll tell you the way it happened with me. I was going with the wife for about six months, I guess. You know, she seemed like a good kid. Her family knew my family. She was fairly good-looking at that time, hadn't started to spread out, you know. But to me, she was strictly a good time. Nothing serious, few laughs, little neck and once in a while. Then one night I took her to a dance someplace, and when we were going home after, there was some moonlight or something. Before I knew it, I asked her to marry me. I didn't have any more intention to marry that girl than... Well, as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I could have bit my tongue off. That's very interesting, Floyd, but what's your theory about love? My theory is that it's an accident, and there ought to be a law against it. You're just cynical. You can't convince me. Sure, me either, Mr. Gallus. What do you think, Pee-Vee? Do you think love is just a habit? I think love is a miracle. Oh? What do you mean by that? Well, I'll tell you. The minute I laid eyes on Mrs. Pee-Vee, I was swept off my feet. There you are, fellas. Tell us how it happened, Pee-Vee. Well, we met at a picnic. There were several other... Oh, I'd never fall for a girl at a picnic. They make you do all the work. Such, Floyd. Like the fire, boil the water... Let Pee-Vee tell his story, Floyd. Burry the garbage. A lot of work at a picnic. Go ahead, Pee-Vee. Well, Mrs. Pee-Vee was the only stranger in the group at this picnic, so four or five of us young fellas were meeting her for the first time. As soon as I saw her, I knew she was the girl for me. It was like an electric current, huh? Well, no, I went... Yes, by George Edward. It was like an electric current, and it sure filled me full of ginger. You know how young fellas are. I commenced to show off, climbing trees, jumping across the creek. Had on a brand-new pair of trousers, but I just didn't give a hang. That's it, Pee-Vee. That's the miracle. Oh, no, that's not the miracle. The miracle was that I was the only fellow there that fell in love with her, and I was the only one she married. That was the miracle. I don't believe it, Pee-Vee. Now, wait a minute, Floyd. What is it you don't believe, Floyd? I don't believe it was any miracle. Did you clean the pots after the picnic? Well, yes, I believe I did. You buried the garbage? Well, yes, I recall that very distinctly. Well, there goes your miracle. A woman always picks out the man that's got his nose to the grindstone, and boy, does she keep it there. You'll find out, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. I still hope it will turn out well. Do you think it will? This is the first time in my life I've ever made a cake. Now, honey, just take it easy. Take it easy. Don't get yourself in the uproar. Just do like I tell you. Put it in the oven now. One side, Leroy. Oh, sorry. Leroy, for goodness sake. I said I was sorry. You have to hang around the kitchen. Why don't you go out and play? I don't feel like it. I don't know why it is. Every time I bake a cake, Leroy has to be under foot. One side now. I know what Leroy is hanging around for. Here it is, Leroy. You can lick the bowl now. No thanks, Bertie. What? No thanks. Leroy, honey, what's the matter? Nothing. I just feel like punching somebody in the nose, that's all. Well, what on earth? What does he have to go and get married for? Why can't she leave him alone? Oh, why can't he? Oh, Lady Goodwood. They were doing all right till she came along. Now, Leroy, you had not a feel like that. Well, I do. Who wants to marry an old principal? Well, it looks like your uncle does. Besides, she's not old. She's not even as old as Uncle Moore. What's wrong with marrying a principal, anyway? It's like marrying a cop. Very fair to Miss Goodwood. Was she fair to me? Made me clean up the whole playground when I didn't even throw it. Whitey threw it. I don't know what you're talking about. And anyway... Ask Whitey. He admits it. He admits it. Anyway, I like her. You would. I don't know that I think she's just the person for Uncle Moore, but I like her. What do you think, Birdie? You don't want to marry her, do you, Birdie? Well, you have to look at it this way. There's all kinds of women. Now, Miss Ransom, she's one kind of woman. Miss Goodwood, she's a little different. It's up to the man. Mr. Gillsleeves knows what he's doing. I hope. Well, gosh, do we have to go through this every spring? This year is Miss Good... early. Yes, Uncle Moore. Did I interrupt something? Oh, no, we were just talking. Yeah, just talking. I've been teaching Miss Marjorie how to bake a cake. Yeah, she's been teaching me how to bake a cake. Yeah, baking a cake. What's for dinner, Birdie? Besides cake. Oh, something you like. Good. Well, um... How did it go today, Uncle Moore? Fine, fine. Birdie. Yes, sir? Birdie, I suppose the children have told you that I've decided to take the fatal plunge. I'm taking it again, as it were. Oh, yes, sir. I was just getting around to congratulate you. Many happy returns, Miss Goodwood. Well, thank you, Birdie. Thank you. You approve of this step, I trust. Oh, everything you want to do is all right with me. You know that, Miss Goodwood. Yes, I know that, Birdie. But I'd like to know what you really think of it. Oh, I think it's fine, Miss Goodwood. I think it's fine if you do. Oh. Well, thank you. Of course, I don't know the lady, except in the one time she came here to dinner. Yes, I must have her dinner again soon. Perhaps tomorrow night, so we can all get acquainted. After all, we're going to see a lot of each other. I can't help noticing that you children haven't committed yourselves as yet. If Marjorie, what do you think of all this? Oh, I think it's fine, Uncle Moore. I really do. I hope you'll be very happy, and I think you will. Well, I think we should be. After all, Miss Goodwood and I have many things in common, which should... Lee Roy, what do you think? Oh, I think it's fine. Fine, I think it's fine. You do, eh? Yeah, I think it's fine. That's fine. Front door, I'll go. Come on, Marjorie. Let's get out of here so Birdie can get dinner. I've got to watch my cake. Oh, I'll watch it, honey. You run along. Oh, thanks, Birdie. But I'll bake it, remember? Don't worry, you'll get the credit. Uh-oh, I suppose she's heard. Yeah, I'm glad to come over, Mrs.... Pretty polite all of a sudden. What's the little devil up to now? Oh! Hello, Marjorie. Drug vaulting, I'm so happy for you. Happy? Hmm, I just heard the news just this morning. Of course, I had a hit from Judge Hooker. Oh, I was going to call you, Leela. Oh, I understand. Gracious. You're much too busy to have any time for me. But I just couldn't wait to tell you how happy I am for both of you. I called Eve up right away. You did? Oh, we have the nicest child. I think she's a dear Throckmorton. She'll refine. Oh, yes, Eve's very refined. I'm such a lady. I think you two should have a very interesting life together. Well, we plan to, of course. I bet the children are just thrilled about it. Aren't you, Leera? Yeah, it's great. Don't you think it's wonderful? I'm so excited about it. I want to give a party to Throckmorton right away, an engagement party. Well, that's very nice of you, Leela. But after all, who has a better right? I mean, think of all the parties that were given for us when we were engaged. I think I ought to do something in return, and I'd love to. I love parties anyway. Well, I think I ought to speak to Eve first. She isn't much the party type. Oh, don't worry about Eve. I've already spoken to her. You have? Mm-hmm. I invited her for tomorrow evening, and she said she'd love to come. Oh, Eve is wonderful. I've invited the judge, too. I thought we'd just make it, you know, kind of intimate as long as we're all such old friends and all. What about the doctor? Uh, Dr. Hograve? I had a town again. You know these doctors. Sometimes I think all they really care about is microbes. Hi-ho! Who wants to be a microbe? Leela by George, sometimes I... sometimes I don't know. Well, then, Dr. Motton. Wait, I'll go to the door with you. Oh, thank you. I, uh, I just want to say, Leela. Yes, Dr. Motton. Well, I think you've been a darn good sport about this whole thing, and I want you to know it. Oh, gracious, Dr. Motton. I couldn't be happier for you, really. I love giving a party. After all, it isn't every day you get yourself engaged. Not quite. See you tomorrow. Yeah, see you tomorrow. Tomorrow. I wonder, it could be one of my bad days. This leave will be with us again in just a few seconds. A few packed lunches for school-going children and hard-working grown-ups. I surprised them some day this week with the appetizing cheddar cheese flavor of Pabstead. This delicious golden cheese food makes wonderfully good sandwiches. And, of course, Pabstead is also one of America's special mealtime favorites. It melts with luscious smoothness into a golden cheese sauce that's simply grand with macaroni, vegetables, eggs, or fish. And another main dish treats for a hungry family. Pabstead also slices perfectly to be served with desserts. Pabstead, in fact, has won a reputation for their different uses. And it's wonderfully nourishing, too. Pabstead helps provide food energy, milk protein, milk minerals, rival-flavin, and important vitamin A. So for delicious nourishing sandwiches and other mealtime treats, buy Pabstead whenever you can. Look for the round, flat packets, the delicious golden cheese food, Pabstead. Now let's return to the great Gilder Sleeve who finds himself facing a delicate domestic problem. For the first time since the announcement the good one is coming to the house. And Gilder Sleeve senses that Leroy is going to require a little coaching. The coaching is going on in Gilder Sleeve's bedroom as he cleans up for dinner. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah? Yeah. Come back here. I want to talk to you. What about? Well, I'd just like to talk to you, Leroy. Sit down on the bed there. Okay. Shoot. Well, uh, what I wanted to say, Leroy, was, uh, was that the necktie I gave you? Yeah, what's the matter with it? What I was going to say, my boy. Yeah? Did you wash your neck? Sure. Come here. By George, you did, didn't you? She's not going to get anything on me. Who? Miss Goodwin. Now that's just what I want to talk to you about, young man. That attitude. You must realize that because Miss Goodwin is the principal of your school, she has certain duties to perform. It's her duty to be strict with you. God, somebody's got to be strict with you. You mustn't take that to mean that she doesn't like you. That's all right. I don't like her. Uh, let me put it this way, my boy. When Miss Goodwin's out of school, she's a different person. A very different person. And you must learn to think of her that way. You must learn to think of her as well as somebody who's very dear to me. Will you do that? I'll try. That's the boy. I know you will. You know, Leroy, you and I ought to get to know each other better. I've always been intending to spend more time with you. Are you going to tell me that you're marrying Miss Goodwin so that you can spend more time with me? I know how you feel, my boy. We've always been a pretty tight little corporation here. You and Marjorie and I. But I feel that the time has come now to expand a little bit. We've got to take a new partner into the firm. Why? Well, I don't know that I can explain why. Perhaps when you're older, you'll understand. When I'm older. That's right. When you're older, you'll understand a lot of things. When I'm older, everything's going to happen when I'm older. For corn sake, I might as well go to bed and stay there till I'm 21. I know how you feel, my boy, but there are certain things. Well, you just have to grow up to them. What things? When did you grow up to them? I haven't got time to explain it all now, Leroy. Miss Goodwin will be here any minute. When she comes, I want you to be polite to her. You understand? Well, I'll be polite. Don't worry. You're not going to get anything on me. I'll be polite to her. You'll be more than that. You'll be nice to her. You're a little squirt, or I'll give you a good fanny. You understand? Okay. Now stick in your shirt tail. Let's go downstairs. Why didn't they tell me you were here? I've only been here a few minutes. May I? Careful, lipstick. You know, even my day, if a teacher used lipstick, they'd have her run out of town. Well, your day is over, thank goodness. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I've just been having such a nice talk with Marjorie. You have a very tactful niece, Brock Morton. I have a very lucky uncle. Your uncle has very good taste. Luck had nothing to do with it, did it, Eve? It was sheer determination. Yours or mine? Where's Leroy? Oh, he's upstairs. He'll be right down. Well, let's sit down, shall we? Dinner won't be ready for a few minutes. I'm looking forward to Mrs. Ransom's party this evening. I think it should be such fun. Yes, I hope so. Marjorie was telling me she baked her first cake yesterday. I think that's wonderful. Well, it wasn't wonderful, but it wasn't bad. Was it, Uncle Moynihan? It was food for the gods, my dear. You must teach me how sometimes to cook. Oh, I'd love to. It's very simple, really. You just take a cup of flour and... Marjorie, not right now, my dear. That was very simple. Oh, here's Leroy. Come on in, my boy, and meet your future... Say hello to Miss Goodwin. Hello, Leroy. How do you do, Miss Goodwin? Well, won't you come over here and sit beside me? I'm quite comfortable here, thank you. I might cloud you. Huh? There's plenty of room. Leroy, do as Miss Goodwin tells you. Now, Dr. Ackmorton, that's no way to talk to a boy. Let him do as he pleases. Did you have a good time this afternoon, Leroy? Yes, Miss Goodwin. What did you play? Baseball? No, Miss Goodwin. You didn't play baseball. Well... Tell Miss Goodwin what you did play. Yes, sir. We played Commando. Oh, that sounds like fun. How do you play it? Tell her how you play it, Leroy. Yes, sir. Well, do you have foxholes? Do we have foxholes? Boy, honestly, we have foxholes. Go on, Leroy. Miss Goodwin asked you a question. Answer it. Just a minute, Dr. Ackmorton. Leroy? Yes, Miss Goodwin? Come here a minute. Yes? I don't know that this is the place for it, Leroy, but I owe you an apology. What for? I found out who threw that paperwad in assembly. It wasn't you. Who was it? Paul Marx. They're still cold. Am I? Well, don't tell me who it was. It wasn't you and I apologize. Miss Goodwin, I'll tell you something. Yes? I didn't actually throw it, but I watered it up. Well, I'll forgive you, Leroy, on one condition. What's that? When we're out of school, don't call me Miss Goodwin. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, call me Eve or anything you like, but not Miss Goodwin. I like to get out of school once in a while, too, you know. Okay, I'll do it. If you'll do something for me. What's that? Don't call me Leroy. The name is Leroy. No, young man. It's a deal. Oh, here's Birdie. Is dinner announced, Birdie? Come and get it. Birdie's a jewel, but she's no Emily post. Shall we, Leroy? I get to sit next to... Happy little family. How do you mean, Throckmorton? Well, the way you handle the children. So tactful. They're very nice children. Well, it's a big load off my mind. Now, if things go well at Leela's... Well, if you're worried about it, perhaps we should have stayed at your house and been cozy. How about it? Shall we tell Leela we couldn't make it? Oh, Throckmorton, I was joking. We can't possibly back out now. Come on. All right. How about a quick kiss? Just one before she comes? Lipstick. I don't mind. I like the taste. Well, I'm my Throckmorton, dear. Well, the happy couple. Here they are, George. Well, congratulations, Throckmorton. My profoundest sympathy, Eve. May all your troubles be little ones. Don't worry, Eve, the first hundred years of the hardest. I'll take care of it. I'll take care of it. I'll take care of it. This is the hardest. Oh, brother, this is going to be worse than I thought. I want to tell you that's the finest homemade punch I've ever tasted. It's simply delicious. Great. Oh, now y'all are just trying to turn my head. But my mother always told me a girl should be able to do one thing well. Well, I'm sure you have other accomplishments. Well, cook a little. I used to wonder what Throckmorton was seeing a silly little girl like me, and I finally decided it must be my cooking. On my way downtown this afternoon, I... You might... You might just as well realize Eve the Throckmorton simply loves tea. You know, one time I fed him from Fried Egg Plant, and he ain't so much, he got the hiccups. Throckmorton, you pig. Now, Leela, please. Oh, this is fun, Throckmorton. Tell me some more things about him, Leela. Oh, did he ever tell you about the time when he was a little boy and the little girl wanted to kiss him in Sunday school? Leela. Throckmorton thought she wanted to wrestle. My, how he's changed. Eve, please. But, darling, I like to know things about your pads. Then let me tell them to you. Eve, have you ever seen that snapshot of Throckmorton, the one that was taken when he was a three-year-old baby? Now, Leela, I forbid it. He was all stomach. Throckmorton, I'd love to see the picture. So would I. You stay out of this, Hooker. Oh, please. We're just having fun. Yes, that's how it is, Throckmorton. Eve, tell me, does he ever... Does he ever invariably...? Why, George, I don't have to stand for this. Eve, has he ever sung Speak to Me of Love? Leela is nothing sacred to you. Well, it can't be terribly sacred, Throckmorton. You've sung it to me. Shut up, Hooker. Oh, Throckmorton, sing it for us now. No. Oh, come on. No, I don't want to sing it. Oh, come on, Throckmorton, sing it for us. Eve. He wants to be coached, girl. I do not. Throckmorton, won't you sing it for us? Please, pretty please. I will not. All right, ladies, I will sing it for you. What? Oh, what? The music, please. The music, please. I'll play it for you, George. Speak to me of love, and say what I'm longing for. No. Come on. Women. Floyd was right. Well, sir, Throckmorton, Pete Gillerslee, has learned his lesson. What do you want? Darling, don't you see? Don't you understand what Leela was doing? You were just as bad as she was. She was trying to make you look silly. She was trying to make me lose my temper. Who wouldn't lose his temper? I'm not blaming you, darling. Only don't be mad at me, please. Would you forgive me? Well, I won't go back there. We don't have to. Isn't there anything else you'd like to do? Yeah. TV was right after all. Love is a miracle. Dear diary, this will have to be a brief entry, because here it is two o'clock in the morning. How did it ever get to be so late? And I thought this was going to be one of my bad days. Good night, everybody. Music heard on this program was directed by Clark Sweet. 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