 Hi, everyone. So it gives me a great pleasure to introduce our next speaker, which is me. So, hey. I spoke very briefly at EMF 2016 on one of the lightning talks, and at the same time on stage A was a talk about sex robots, so I have questions about those, but I've learned don't compete with sex robots, so it just doesn't work on any level. So anyway, right, yep, so this is my talk about 101 hacks for late Soviet water towers, one in particular, and I haven't got my contact details, but if you Google Latvian water tower, you'll find me. So, right, obliquity speaker slide, what you need to know about me. I'm half Latvian, quarter English, quarter Irish, and the unicorn is because that's how I saw Latvia when I was younger. It used to be behind the Iron Curtain, part of the USSR, and it was mystical fairy land that you hear about where everyone is equal and you can't visit. And because it's forbidden, human nature is we're interested, we want that, and actually it sounds good. Everyone being equal. I was a staunch communist until the age of 10 when he sort of learns that it's not quite that good. So, anyway, yeah, Myers-Briggs type indicators, if you know about those, great. If you don't Google it, it's endlessly interesting. So I come up as being slightly introverted, so this is a push for me, but also sort of interested in lots of different things, and so hence the EMF is brilliant. So, right, yeah, in 2016 I was 40 years old, and I'm probably one of the old ones here at CMF Camp. Who else is over 40? Fair few. Okay, so half of you will relate to this, and the other half can learn and take notes for what you'll have to come, because, yeah, I absolutely did not have a midlife crisis. I did fly a Spitfire, I did do the Cresta Run, and I did accidentally buy or become the custodian of a very fine Latvian water tower, but it's not a midlife crisis at all. So anyway, I don't know how much you know about Latvia, but most people tend to think of boozy weekends for stag dues and stuff, and you've got the beer bus bike thing and shooting AK-47s, or actually they've upgraded to AK-102s now for health and safety reasons in the shooting range and partying and all that stuff, which is great sometimes, but I prefer the deeper side of the country, and actually there's a lot more to Latvia than partying, and actually this year they had the hashtag I'm introvert for the London Book Fair, the little cartoon there which I quite relate to anyway, and yeah, there's a whole side to the country which they're branding, and I suppose it appeals to half the people, but it's sort of true of the nation, but EMF and Latvia are very similar things, so EMF rule one of hackspace, don't be on fire, very good rule, oh no rule zero, sorry not rule one, I've no idea what rule one is, but rule zero is don't be on fire, whereas in Latvia we like to challenge that, and if there's a fire you'll find a Latvian jumping over it, hopefully not getting burnt to death, so yeah, so beer here is very good, beer and Latvia are brilliant, money back if you don't like it, a few words of Latvia to learn, Luzo Divus Alice is pleased to beers, so I'm going to go through this talk quite quickly, but if anyone's got any questions later you can go to the bar and ask that, so other things about Latvia, yeah I will mug to prove it, it has the fifth fastest internet in the world, I think that's a slightly out of date stat, but because of the legacy, actually the first time I visited there was pre any mobile phones, and to call home I had to go to a host box and have the operator connect to call and they had to go out and pay for it, and to tot it up they tot it up on an abacus, and that's something I'd heard about from you know school and ancient Egypt and stuff, and actually it was super quick, there's no batteries and they're not going to blue screen, so it's pretty appropriate technology, but it's now come a long way and they've got fibre and stuff actually yeah the same mug is a bit dodgy because on the other side the most popular product in Latvia is potato, so I'm not sure quite what the question they're asking is, but actually that's indicative of how a lot of things have worked in history there, so actually formally in history when the Soviets came in and took over effectively they were invited by the Latvian government and they voted for that to happen, and it was basically a choice of you know vote for this or die, so yeah they did that, I doubt there was a gun to heads for potatoes, so anyway oh yeah back to the unicorn, so actually the Baltics are very tech-focused and you've got more unicorns per head of population in Estonia neighbouring than anywhere else in the world, so rollover Silicon Valley and nobody can afford to live in Silicon Valley anymore I gather, if anyone's got a house there you're doing very well, so yeah and if you're Radio Ham here we get 400 watts in Latvia you get kilowatt to play with, so anyway yeah and actually also housing yeah so as I was saying so I looked up yesterday, £85,000 buys you a single garage in Twickenham or somewhere like that, yeah not much whereas I also yeah so the story of this anyway I got bored at my desk you know I work in IT it's stressful and occasionally you think oh the grass is greener let's go and live on a farm and just have the easy life and the good life and be simple and there's a website called SS.com and it's not that SS it's the equivalent of Craigslifts come eBay and it's super addictive I guarantee you and as you can see it's all in Latvian but thanks to Google Translate it turns into English can you read this from the front or anyway so there's a part on real estate and I look at it occasionally thinking well let's have a look at a farm something like that and again go into that section and yeah I'm learning Latvian slowly and there is this point to get to work yeah there's very good one here so there's 235 entries for Rialto, Pakol, Piumi which if we go to Google Translate who says machine language learning is bad so it says FEVS services so that's pretty good I thought good for Google but yeah so I looked last night at what's available in Latvia what can you get me money and here's one okay so 10,433 or 34 euros buys you 18 apartments nine of them are three room or three bed and the others are studios plus a hectare of land in a looks name which is a really nice area so that works out about 500 pounds each so you're not gonna go far wrong there so yeah Silicon Valley versus Latvia again good value but I came across this ad for a water tower and I it was in the auction section and I thought well actually let's learn about the auctions and the things that have tracked me about it one it was on the date of my birthday and I thought I'll be a good excuse to go over see how the process works and actually I'm not going to get it because a telephone company Vodafone or someone they're gonna buy it put masks at the top they got deep pockets I haven't so no chance of auction fever and eBay and all that and oh there's a shed and stuff as well so I read a bit more about it and actually on the details you probably can't read this but it's it basically says technical situation no electricity water and drainage none so it's what water tower no water so it tells you something about the collapse of the Soviet system that they didn't get it connected so anyway I registered for the auction filled in the form and sent a deposit and all that good stuff and then had some time and I thought I'd learn about it because actually how do these you see pictures these Japanese auctions of stuff you you yeah I did expect to understand the process and so in the ad it's 40 meters high and I'm no good I've no idea how many square meters this is some people might know I have no idea so I looked up what's 40 meters high and the statue of Christ in Rio de Janeiro is I haven't been there so I can't relate to that and the space shuttle that's 40 meters I've seen one of those and I sort of had the picture of that sitting next to the tower and yeah I could I can envision to that so anyway it's on the day of the auction I flew over you can do lap here and back in a day if you want fire Ryan air it's pretty hard works at 6 a.m. flight out 9 a.m. or 10 p.m. back but you can do it so I thought I'd go for a pleasant day and all that and anyway by the time I got to the auction house well the privatized agency they came in so I came in and they said oh Mr. Fitzgerald we were wondering who was gonna who was registered for the auction so you're the only person registered so you asked five euros and it's yours and right so I wasn't really ready for that but so grand designs obviously hasn't come to Latvia yet so so well obviously I this was sight unseen I hadn't seen the things the first thing I did was a few forms and got a taxi to go down and had a look at it so yeah so what do I find basically you know for sale sign on it there's a open door sort of open door down the side there so there is no door so I thought first thing okay we've got to have policies you know coming from IT background first thing open door policy yeah that means are inviting people so we'll have an open door policy and so I went in sorry next slide yeah and yeah so we've got the door I went in and climbed to the top and yeah the view from the top do you see things like the lampposts and stuff normally we look up at lampposts and it's very high it's in a very nice area actually in Yarmala which is the seaside and yeah it's scary up at the top which is good so anyway yeah climbed up went down had look around and had look at the shed or the guard house at the bottom which had a really nice portrait of Lenin in it no Lenin or Stalin whoa I should get that right but anyway so did got that together and then went back to the airport so I thought to myself well actually well what am I going to do with it now and in the great tradition of lists of 101 things I thought well have to start 101 a list of 101 things to do with Watertown first thing let's learn about it and I started learning up about them and it's incredible when you start looking at stuff you start seeing them everywhere but I found the British Watertower Appreciation Society and I'm not gonna and actually interestingly normally it's five pounds a year to join but if you own a water tower it's free so the fact I spent five euros on it was bargain I quit in already so I don't know if you read all the stuff it basically says there are lots of ways the water tower can kill you and take care which is probably sage advice so at this point I thought well I'm gonna need two lists yeah one of a hundred and one things to do with water and one of our 101 ways it'll kill you which sort of helps keep you balanced because I yeah I don't want to experience the 1.67 seconds of saying goodbye so anyway so yeah went back and a little bit later to do more forms and learn about the tower and actually it was the weekend of the big NHS hack so this was the view of the lake was me sitting there my laptop working for most of the weekend helping make sure that everyone was good and patched and all that stuff but also explored the tower and did some cleaning up and felt like being conservation at school so went around and picked up litter from around the tower and so yeah on the 101 things to do with water tower list have parties and it looks like there'll be some jolly good parties there already and why wasn't I invited so but there we are and but I thought I found quite a few bottles inside the tower so I thought yeah the open door policy nice idea but actually we're gonna need a door because alcohol and being really high up is not it's not good and yeah I mean the seaside in Yarmala is really really nice Latvia is beautiful it's been likened to Miami Beach as I say you see towers everywhere once you start spotting them and on the way here I keep looking at them and you know you sort of out the corner where I or I they catch them so many different designs and yeah next time I went back they built a park next to the lake which is really nice thank you that being a government so I was then learning about the design and construction of it and interesting so it's all modular so these these are built and it's actually something from the Soviet system a lot of things aeroplanes bridges all sorts they're all designed to be built with fairly unskilled or conscripted labor and so aircraft maintained by that and so these are pre-constructed it's probably how many houses are done now in modules and they're put together and they're actually some of these designs you have four balls on mine in the system slightly being slightly impossible style but it is lined up so it's not going to fall over and they build them with inside in the levels there's rebar and they're bonded together basically the same way they use to do railway construction and it's the same equipment and probably same materials but it's it's sort of really thick rebar that holds the weight of it and then yeah so going up you you have ladders and levels 12 12 stories up basically so good thing to stop and take your breath as you go well I've got an update then these reboot let me say no to that anyway and yeah you go up to the top and more ladders up to the very very top so this is the bottom of the water containers which hope which meant to store about 40 tons of water that I haven't actually measured it but so there are two pipes that go into a tower one for the out one for the in the in one I was never connected or has been cut off and yeah I found from the plate that this one actually on here you can see it was built in May 1987 so ages it and up at the top yeah so this is what you get up to the top I said it was scary up to the top there is no well yes there's the rail around the side but if you slip you're off bye bye so it strikes fear of God at me some of my cousins work on wind farms and they're totally happy at the top but which scares me even more and you can look down into the tank like a ladder down there and they used to just fill by overflowing if it did ever work so yeah one of the things I've learned about as well is I've been reading up and actually the sort of history the architecture it's quite interesting and there's a story of how the key how the tower came to be designed and I gather that in the late 70s under the command economy in the five year planning there was a meeting of whichever design bureau with comrade someone saying yeah we I won't try doing the Russian accents or it's rubbish so I'm rubbish at it basically saying yeah we need a new design for water towers to you know all the stats and all what they needed and there are a group of engineers and architects taking the specs and as it seems to be a universal thing if someone's bored in a meeting there are some people who doodle and don't if you noticed it seems to be again quite universal there seems to be one piece of male anatomy which universally is doodles and you don't need too many prizes for guessing and yeah apparently one of the chaps at the back Yuri was doodling and he was noticed he was caught so he was caught out Yuri what are you up to Yuri's a quick thinker good to give them that and basically a couple squiggles few lines turned upside down a new design module water tower and let's have a look so it came out to have a look you know what this looks like brilliant this is a we'll go with we don't need any more and we will show the Latvian people that they are well and truly fully part of the Soviet Union so anyway and that architect was Yuri Skalberg I don't know if this is actually a true story I'd really like to meet him and ask if there's any truth in that who knows so it could be but he's built a whole load of buildings and it's the same case with many other architects and unfortunately a lot of the buildings people build are then replaced if they're civic buildings over time so the water towers are probably going to be his legacy so right what have I done with the tower since as well so oh yeah I've run a radio station off at the top which was quite good fun I've got great respect for those people who are not people the lightweight equipment because if you have to take lead acid batteries 12 stories up on ladders antennas 12 stories up and you get quite worn out doing it so lightweight stuff's good yeah some of the stuff we've done yeah run station we took I took part in a documentary about water towers done by a couple from Oregon and that was great fun and actually there's a couple of things I learned I mean America's quite progressive in some things it's like in Colorado they've legalized stuff at cannabis haven't they but in Oregon where Jessica and Ryan came from or live is illegal to fill your own car with fuel so you have to pay some you know the pump tendons still has to do it which I seem so backwards and land on three but yeah it's just different world so other things yeah we experimented with music in the tower and put speakers in and actually from the inside it radiates outside and I'm trying to organize a permanent electricity supply so that we can keep that going and run Gem finders long player which would be great fun so we're now going to door so it's there's a policy of everyone being welcome oh sorry but yeah there's code to just for health and safety is a lot to that and lots of learning and thinking so there are lots and lots of other things that we can do with it so on that sorry that's one more all right so yeah what's left to do so yeah reverse the shrinking beam that's something I've got to do so yeah we've got very sick I mean it's basically I've got this list of 101 things I'm not showing you everything here but actually because you condition people a bit once you get to number 70 it's really hard as well so I'm we welcome any ideas but yeah we had some ideas like so what records can we break so the yeah so actually with this particularly phallic water tower I had a look well actually what's the world's biggest condom and that it's the record in the Guinness book is 20 meters high from a which went on a statue in France so yeah we have the Latvian people can compete that definitely I'm sure that'd be fun and it's fun with all these things just sort of looking at what we can do but it's it's interesting but there's there's all sorts of things actually you know you could almost flood it and use it as a submarine escape training pad and things like that or a sundial and calibrate it and there's there's an interesting thing as well of so EMF loves fire and that means love fire and yeah you sort of think about fires and I thought well let's put one of these beacons off of the tops you know the flames because Latvia is a hundred this year so it's the hundred anniversary of the nation so big parties and there was a huge song festival there will be a population bubble in nine months from roughly March so anyway and yeah so we're thinking about flames and there's also things like there there was a big thing for hands across the Baltic which was everyone holding hands for independence as a big protest and the nation's lining up and there was another thought is again okay so if you think about flames and things on top so what's the most famous flame that's the Olympic flame and actually there's there is a movement to to actually bid for the Olympics in the Baltics in something like 2040 or thereabouts which have been sort of interesting to get get involved for a little bit and you know why not and actually have it with the three nations and it's sort of fun doing all these things and looking at what can be done and you know we've got lots of ideas I'd be interested know what what else people can think of and all that so yeah so yeah so stop a fire and get the power sort out and audio installations and just general having fun so yeah that's my last slide so if anyone's got any questions please let me know all right actually let's try something as well so I'm lazy sorry I'm lazy so we'll throw this over to questions so are you good at catching oh let's give to go I'm rubbish at throwing hey is the is the mic on here the catch box so I was wondering if it's actually structurally sound and how do you make sure that it is so yes I have that checked because the are you present expert in it if there is anyone's yeah so the steel is pretty solid it does need some touching up but actually I the rust that you can see I've been in there with sandpaper and all the steel it's actually really good steel it's built to last and you rust take it down and you get some nice shiny metal behind that YouTube has wonderful videos of laser rust removal I would love one of those machines if they weren't like a hundred grand but I lost after one of those if anyone's got one and fancy lending it to me that'd be wonderful but cool any other questions oh there's one at the back you'll throw it or maybe throw it in the middle well that's quite fun and those come from that beer by the way yeah so that one arrived yesterday hello hi have you considered putting water in the water tower I have thought of that yes and what would the outcome so actually the water used to come there was a there's a well the other side of the lake which I think used to be connected except it was an industrial complex behind it so yeah we've we've explored reconnecting free use but there's nothing there now to serve so that's why the water company was selling it off and actually I was lucky because they they had some of the some of the other bigger towers they were good to watch and those off and there was a big sort of national outcry but all these are too good to privatize and stuff so I've got one of the one of the one of the few so yeah does that answer your question yeah thank you cool and any other questions oh so it's one over here do you want to throw it halfway oh that's all right it's a good test to make sure this works so yeah hi have you have you considered hiding the water tower behind a one-to-one scale picture of the space shuttle so say say that again have you considered hiding it behind a one-to-one scale picture of the space shuttle so of the space shuttle oh right I haven't one of the things I would like to do though is so the Soviet Union and stuff was all about making things up and not making things up I mean that yeah so the Russian space shuttles apparently they flew allegedly maybe possibly not that we don't know but yeah that could work or have it photoshopped so I was thinking of photoshopping in pictures of Stalin's show that this is favorite life in water tower and stuff as well but which is which is a sort of revisionist thing that sort of tends to get done so why not so yeah so does that answer your question sorry thanks anyone else oh there's one one at the back there so yeah so given the Soviet construction of concrete and rebar and everything else and the amateur radio connection have you considered turning into a full wave 40 meter antenna so I took so the antennas I took up I I took up a 40 meter and an 80 meter antenna which would G whip antennas and they're really really good single wire ones which actually they're Kevlar wire and the I'm a member of the left ours lantern nothing forest radio group and yeah the Kevlar those those ones are banned there now so they had one of the secret nuclear bunker lately and a sort of tractor got caught and it pulled over the mast and broke the tractor and the antenna was fine so yeah I've I've I've strung one up and took the radio up and it worked pretty well I don't know what the actual resonant frequency of the of the steel itself is I'd be fun to find out maybe something to add to your list of things to check sorry say something to add to the list of things to check yes yeah why not or or feel free to set your radio over all that you know where it is so yeah cool okay brilliant I think that's it so brilliant okay thank you very much indeed so