 Welcome to Tea Cakes and Tarot. My name is Will Wilhelm. I am so grateful that you are here. Thank you to those of us who are joining in the Zoom room that are here to chat and hang with us. Also, this is our first episode that is being live streamed via HowlRound. So thank you so much to those of you that are tuning in through them and who will join us along the way. So Tea Cakes and Tarot began as an idea that my friend Erin Berry and I cooked up, a way to create some virtual togetherness and community in these wonky times. And something that I really love to do is to host events or friends in my home and my MO is always to connect the webs of queer people that I know to form a deeper and stronger community. So that's what we're doing here. We're going to meet a wonderful friend. We're gonna have a chat about our lives in the industry as artists and actors. And we're going to reflect and we're gonna dream. So welcome to my virtual living room. As my friends and my guests, I wanna see how you're doing, how you're feeling today. So I've got a little poll question for you. And as we are interpreting this episode, which I am very excited about, I'm going to be quiet for a moment so you can read and respond to that. Okay, we're almost ready to publish this poll. Thank you all for participating. Yep, let's do it. Okay, we've got a ton of fire signs in here, which I love. I appreciate the amount of people, the percentage of people who just admitted, I don't know. It took me a long time just to know that I am an air sign, which thinking about it now makes sense. So what I want you to do is center yourself, sip on something. If that's your vibe, light a candle, make yourself cozy. I'm gonna be sipping on my Egyptian licorice tea. Please feel free to use the chat for those of you that are gathered here. I'd love to know where you're tuning in from, what you're sipping on, if that's something that you're doing. Settle on in. So as I mentioned, I'm gonna bring in a friend, we're gonna have a conversation, a little chat. And then, because this is Tea Cakes and Tarot, conversations with queer futurists, we gotta have some tarot, right? So I'm gonna pull one card from the Major Arcana, from the Star Spinner Tarot by an artist named Trungles. We'll talk more about what that means a bit later, in case anyone doesn't know. And then the Island Shakespeare Festival, our producer has our very gorgeous, very elegant, custom deck of Sonic cards. So I'm also gonna pull one of the Shakespeare's Sonnets. And that's it. Like I said, feel free to use the chat. Thank you for people coming in from all countries. I love that. If you have questions for our guests, feel free to put those in the chat as well. And let's do it. Let's get cozy, let's get comfortable, and let's do some dreaming. So our guest today is a super talented actor, based out of LA. His credits include the Deaf West production of Spring Awakening on Broadway. He's played Romeo in Romeo and Juliet at Act Seattle. He played Quasimodo in the Fifth Ave's theater production of Punch Back of Notre Dame. And he's all over the internet, doing some amazing thing like web series directing, solo shows, so many things. My guest today is the super cute, super sweet, Joshua Castile. Let me bring him in right now. Hello. Come on with the bits already. Hi, Josh. How are you? It's Guac. Hi. I'm good. How are you? I'm doing really well. I'm so happy that you're here. Thank you for having me in your intergalactic space. Absolutely. Josh, you are such a beautiful bundle of joy. And that like pervades through literally five seconds of interaction with you and anyone who's seen you on stage or anywhere on social media. Can you just tell us a little bit, like where does that come from? It's funny you said that because I just realized the other day that my friend was like, I'm from like a French background, and I said, that means I like to discuss the philosophical questions and discuss, you know, what is the existence of life? And I was like, oh, and then we looked at what Cajun means. And that's from like Louisiana where I'm from. And we just like to have a good time. I mean, I like to hold things against people just like to smile and have a good time. So I think I get that from like my culture in my background, but I just feel like life is so beautiful. And I get to meet wonderful people, people like you and just have fun, why not, you know? I love it. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having this fun with us. Oh my God, yes. So I, oh, thank you so much. Here we go. I have a few questions for you, but I also know that you have come to this space prepared with at least one joke. So I'm gonna let you start off with that. Okay. So my first one is, what are the chocolate bars pronouns? I don't know, Josh. What are the chocolate bars pronouns? Are you sure you don't know? Milk and dark? Ooh, that's great. Okay. Hershey. Oh, bitch. I love it, right there. Yeah. Zoe from the chat did get Hershey. That is really good. Oh my God, I love it. Josh, I just sort of went over your like very expansive resume going from Shakespeare to film to Broadway. Like she's doing it all. Oh, she's shy. She's shy. Will you talk to me a little bit about like spanning all of those mediums? Like what's the same for you? What's different? Do you have one that you love most? You do film and theater both, right? I've actually never really done film. I do a lot of theater. Ooh, I'm really curious to see what your voice looks like in film because I feel like you have a lot of like really cool ideas and I'm just like... Thank you. Yes, yes. Feel free to introduce me to whoever will make that happen. Yes. So to answer your question, I've always been into theater. Theater was my biggest thing. Like I love, I love. And I think it came from, I tell the story that where when I grew up on the playground, a lot of kids didn't want to play with deaf kids. So we always had to play with trees and like each other, we weren't allowed to like use the swings or anything. And so when we, I went into my first theater space, I remember whenever I had to play like a king role and everyone was treating me with respect and I was like, oh, this is fun. You get to play with dynamics. I like this. And then as we kept going in the classes and I realized like, oh, I like telling stories with like meaning and messages. And so it started with that. And then someone was like, you should try film. And I was like, I'm a theater person. And then I got into film stuff. I was like, oh. And then now I'm just like, no, no, I just want to tell a story in every possible medium. And I think we all have perspectives and experiences that bring to those mediums. And so that's where I'm at, I think. And that's a simple answer, but that's my answer. That's amazing. No, that's perfect. And we were sort of chatting about that the sort of necessary parameters of this time have made us feel like, ooh, how are we telling stories and through what mediums? Oh, I love your nails too. I'm just noticing those somehow for the first time. Well, I had time to like paint them while I was waiting. I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, oh, go ahead. Yeah, well, you were saying the necessary time now. And I feel like, yeah, it's very interesting for me because I feel like social media has brought a lot of people together, especially the queer kids like us. Yes. I feel like we really connected. And the deaf community really connected through social media because queer kids and deaf kids are very similar in that we're born to parents that aren't like us usually. 80, 85% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. So they have no connection right off the bat with that element. And I feel like queer kids have that same experience. And also we're born in places where we're like, there's not really another deaf person around, just like a queer kid. So I'm feeling like I'm seeing both communities really thrive through social media. And my parents are now saying things like, social media divides as we talk about politics and it's not really connected as we're like connected through fake screens. And I'm like, that's your experience and I get that. But like for me, I feel it's so refreshing to see like your work and other queer artists, other deaf artists, and really just having this pandemic give us space to really create content and connect. And I'm really excited about that. I'm really excited because I feel like it woke up a part of us that I'm hoping doesn't go back to sleep after the pandemic. Yes, absolutely. I thought the same way. I feel the same way. And what you just said about, I think about that all the time, especially how queer and trans people are born into surroundings where there is very often no queer community, no trans community. Certainly like very often no, it's not a familial hereditary thing. And I didn't know that statistic about how deafness is very much the same. Do you feel like your queerness is more embraced in a deaf community or your deafness is more embraced in a queer community? Does that make sense? Do you find mutual understanding? Because I feel like sometimes when we're talking about intersectional identities, it's hard where someone will say, in this space, I occupy the other, like I'm still always an other no matter where I am. But I'm wondering if those communities, because of their personal experience with ostracized, like being ostracized, if there's a common understanding. Essentially that's a very good question I've never really thought about, but my immediate reaction is that I've noticed in queer spaces, people of color except me more than white people. And that was something I didn't realize until I was in Seattle with, oh my gosh. Oh, Chip Sherman. I was like, Chip Sherman who played Bimboglia with me and Romeo and Juliet, he took me to the gay bars a lot and introduced me to the queer scene more. And as we were going, he was like, do you notice that when I introduce you to white people, I don't really talk to you? I was like, that's interesting. I never realized that. I just go into the space and connect with people. I don't really think about when I'm an other. I just feel like, oh, you don't understand. You don't have the vocabulary to express what you're going to be by. I'll talk to someone else. But when it comes to the deaf element, I think that's something I've noticed. As a queer person, the deaf community has definitely historically gotten its resources from the church. So I do think we still have some conservatism, but also at the same time, I've been really, really embraced by the deaf community. So it's an interesting paradox, I think, but I think that's what we're going through now is we're realizing the otherness is something that can unite us. It's not something that divides us by saying, I'm non-binary, I'm gay, I'm deaf, I'm trans, I'm half Asian, half Black. That doesn't divide you. It just tells us how to respect you. And I'm really excited that we're talking about this now and we're really connected. We're saying, oh, you have an otherness experience. We were late now. It's both before I feel like we were a lot more like, oh, you're deaf, I don't know that experience, I'm trans, I'm over here, I'm straight and I'm over here. Now it's more like, oh, you're over there, but what are your experience too, you know? 100%, yeah. Because I feel like we are all in this space of trying to fight for ourselves, but realizing everyone has to be coming along with us. It's kind of like, I feel like I've heard and said a few times, if we think of the most marginalized group, if we're thinking of Black trans women, if they're thriving, then everyone else should hopefully be thriving too, because they're experiencing the most things working against them from our society. That's really interesting that you mentioned that sort of conservatism. There was a moment in, you have this really cool web series on D-Pan, which is a deaf channel online, called Reverse Polarity, and I haven't finished it, but I've gotten to see the first few episodes. There's a moment where you're rehearsing a Romeo and Juliet scene, and there's nudity involved. They're like, oh, I have to be naked for the audition. And you mentioned something that makes it seem like the deaf community has like a prudishness. Is that, did I pick up on that? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely right. It's very funny because Jules Dameron, who wrote that and directed it, she talked, we talk a lot about our struggles, because I'm obviously speaking and signing at the same time, which the deaf community is not going to like that very much because I, just how I express myself. But we have this small nature in the sense that we know each other, you know, like we see each other. I almost feel like the gay community is almost the same way, like when you go to like WeHo, every week you go, go, go, and then you'll start to see the same people and you'll start to get to know the same people, so then you start to, like the pool becomes small. So with deaf people, it's definitely a small community. So when you see someone naked, that changes the dynamic of things, you know, like, but now I think we're talking about nudity is not pornography, but I think for the deaf community, that was a hard concept. So you did pick up on something right, it's like nudity is something that the deaf community does not accept well, and that was something that the director, right, I wanted to push and I wanted to push that too. I felt like our bodies are beautiful as they are, so why not talk about it and show it, you know? Yes, 100%. Cool, that was a really beautiful episode and scene, and I think in the same one, y'all take off your clothes and you do a Romeo and Juliet scene together, but it's all signed. I don't think any of it is spoken, right? No, it was all signed, right? That was beautiful to watch. And I'm curious, you know, to hear about you playing Romeo, I, what is it, what is the feeling like, what's your experience with embodying Shakespeare and literally internalizing that poetry? I think to many people that might initially seem paradoxical or contradictory, but I'm curious, like, what your experience of that intersection is. Oh, she's thinking of a lot of good questions. Okay. People think ASL is spoken English, but it's not. It's like signed English, but it's not. It's conceptual and, I mean, you said you saw it, like you can see we put concepts and value and meaning behind things. So what I think ASL does is just solidifies the concepts into our hands. And I think Shakespeare's already emotional, which fits ASL because we put our emotions out there. We're not like, oh, hi. And we're like, hi, how are you? What's up? La, la, la, la, la. I was like, I think it comes hand to hand and I think it's something that we were playing with at ATT with that show. Oh my God, no, I'm so sorry. No, no, no, no, sorry. You're here. Someone just caught me. Someone just caught me. I'm here. We were playing with that with ATT and it's interesting because it's, when you put one deaf character in a whole crowd of other hearing characters, it's hard to explore that, but then he added Fire Lawrence. Howie. Like Howie Sego, yes. Howie Sego, who also is in a Star Trek. And Spring Awakening, right? And Spring Awakening in Los Angeles. Yes, yeah, oh my God, no, yeah. He is great, I love him. And he made Fire Lawrence. And I think for me it was the first time that I really understood Romeo and Fire Lawrence's relationship because you're like, you're a tough cookie and you're a priest. Like how does this, oh, when the both of you use the same language, it connects you in a unique way. And I think it really helped me see Fire Lawrence's lines in a stronger light. You know, I think all of our experiences are like a lens. That's what my friend Joel says, is that all like a lens of a camera and when you put the script, which is the body onto it, you see different things. So like if you directed Romeo and Juliet versus a black woman versus, you know, an Asian Pacific Islander who's deaf, you know, all of us have these experiences that put to the story. Yeah, or any of us. And because we're all like, every single individual artist is their own unique lens. And I really, the artists whose career I follow and I'm most interested in are not the ones who sort of sink away into their roles and disappear, but the ones who have a very clear crystal cut point of view. And it doesn't need to be the same exact thing for every single production, but when you take a really strong stance and really strong point of view and then add that onto your two-dimensional character, that's the kind of shit that I live for. I love what you were saying about, I'm realizing now like being able to sign Shakespeare and incorporate ASL, it makes it like a dance almost because like dance is movement that we put meaning to. And you know, maybe I'm making this, I don't know if this is a correct correlation, but to think of like you said, ASL, not as a direct translation, but movements that we're putting meaning and story behind is very much how I think of what a dance is as someone who cannot do it myself. Well, I think that's what happens with signing is that I think it's a natural response to say that it feels like dancing because dancing has so much thought and meaning behind it. Usually sometimes it does it and you're still involved by it, but I just think that we've definitely developed, we've developed parameters in the language and we've developed communication through movement. I think that's something unique to see two people communicate without speaking at all because that's not something the majority has experienced or seen. And it's funny because I often forget until someone mentions it, am I right? Because I'm just in it, I'm just communicating. So it doesn't feel like a dance, it doesn't feel like this beautiful thing and it's not a bad thing to say that. For me, it's just words and expressing ourselves, but in this conversation, we're talking with words, like we're saying words and painting the picture, but in ASL it's more of the feeling just comes through and it just, it just... Yeah, no, that's it. And thank you also, thank you for educating not only our audience, but also me on all of that and the way you speak about it is sometimes, I feel like sometimes when I am in the gay club or a queer space or whatever, it's kind of like, I almost forget that the world outside is not like that because we're just doing what we do in this space and this is who we are and this is what we bond over. So it's like sort of like, we just don't even think about it, it's a non-event. I wanna talk to you more about, you mentioned like being in a relationship, like a stage relationship with Howie and how that really informed that character duo and correct me if I'm wrong, but you've been on both ends of the spectrum of like being with many deaf actors in Spring Awakening on Broadway and also maybe being the only deaf actor in tribes. Or yeah, can you talk about like what the differences in those experiences are? It's an interesting experience because when we did Spring Awakening, when we did Spring Awakening, I think about like how we were all learning together on that stage and I mean, we were all like babies, like babies and learning about the process, learning about how to do the show was something different than when I did it with Howie. It wasn't as much learning, it was a lot more about just delving into the relationship between us in that moment and Spring Awakening, we didn't really, I mean, the lines aren't really talking to each other, we're talking to the audience like 75% of the time. So I think that's a very interesting question. I'm curious to see what a show where I'm talking with other deaf actors directly in a scene and having relationships rather than songs so the audience defining our relationship, does that make sense? Yeah, 100%. That's what I think about. I also think about like Hunchback and Romeo and Juliet where Romeo and Juliet and Howie, but Hunchback, I was the only one, Trimes, I was the only one. It definitely becomes an advocating space where you have to be like, no, like this character would not do that. So I think we need to think about these options but in terms of the artistic creative space, I love that, I live for fusion, I live for cultural differences because I feel like there's so much that we can put together that we never thought alone. Yeah, of course. I really love for that, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm always curious to talk to other people, especially like of my age demographic because I think advocating for yourself like is a hugely important thing to do in the rehearsal space and I've sort of had to learn it. I think we've all had to learn it the hard way but I also, when I am given the opportunity to speak to students or younger people, I'm always like harping on like, please, please, please advocate for yourself, you have to. Can you share, not only as a deaf person, not only as a queer person but also just as a younger person, like a person beginning a career, how you learned to advocate yourself for yourself? How did you learn? I think that would help me remember mine. I just, I think what it was for me was feeling like I had to do a good job for a lot of other people and that was a sort of pressure. Like no one was asking me to be a martyr in any way but I think I felt a responsibility to a community and myself to, yeah, do a good job and act, represent well and authentically and so I think in the moments where I ask myself like, ooh, do I wanna be like the squeaky wheel right now or do I wanna take up time and space? I sort of stop thinking about myself and I start thinking about the young trans person in the audience and that sort of helps me realize like I need to speak up for that future audience member right now. Mm, that's right. Well, yeah. I think it came from my mother when she would tell me like, people don't know. We just don't know. Like when you were born, I didn't know. I didn't know what you needed. I didn't know what you feel. I don't know what you think. So I think part of what you're saying is like my second level. I'm sorry, when you asked me the question I didn't know where, so you helped me put context in it. I think that was my second level awareness. I think the first one was more of like people don't know what I need. They don't know what an interpreter is. They don't know where to get Brad. Like I had to work a long time to find Brad but you know, like people don't know where to find Brad the interpreter. They don't know where to find an older deaf adult. Like where do you, did you know where to go find one? Mm-hmm, no. No, no, right. So that's where I think it started with that but then now it's become a lot more about like I said, the future. Like that little deaf kid in the audience who is watching the show, like they get to see themselves. And it's just, yeah. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I'm curious and I wanna say thank you and I appreciate you coming here to this queer space where I knew we were gonna talk about queerness and also like I know that people ask you about your experiences as a deaf person all the time including myself. What else do people not know about you? What do people not give you the time and space to ask about that may or may not have anything to do with that? Like what do you wish someone asked you about or you got to talk about? Food, like I mean, food, Louisiana food like gumbo, jambalaya. I can tell you, we're talking about boudé balls. Oh my God, do you know what boudé balls are? No, I don't. Okay, I'm sorry, if anyone here is a vegan or you want, okay, then you can't eat food. No, tell me anyway though. Well, it's like pork but it's ground up like pieces of pork because in Louisiana we have a big culture of using up the whole animal. So there's a lot of like a pig intestines ground up and they put it with rice and then they like fry it and it becomes like a ball and you see, yeah, it's in spook, Louisiana. But I don't mind talking about my deaf identity. I don't mind talking about my queer identity. I think it's where it becomes like you're trying to devalue the experience of my community. That's where I'm like, okay, this is not a fun conversation anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah, 100%, yeah, yeah. Well, I hope you get to be the host of a food show. What were you gonna say? Oh yeah, I would love to be a host of like a mmm. But like what do you wanna be questioned and talked about? Thank you so much. No one ever really asked me questions back in this space and so I'm like, oh. That's you, I'm talking to you. You're a friend now. Yeah, we are. I think the part of my self that I don't get time and space to share a lot is that I'm a nerd, I'm very dorky. Like I would love to sit around and play like very complicated board games and like what I did earlier in the afternoon was I like teach calculus as my day job. And like I love to be like fun and queer and fabulous but I'm also nerdy. And I bring these things up. Like when people are like, what's a fun fact for you? I'm like, I will destroy you in a board game. But I wish- Like what kind of board game are we talking about here? Like Settlers of Katon, I will destroy anyone in. I, some of the people in the chat have played board games with me before. And I like the card games like Dominion, like the deck accumulation games or anything simple like a sorry, aggravation, like a classic board game is fun too. But I feel like that's something that I don't talk about very much. See, I would have never thought of calculus. I would think you're definitely like an artist who like paints on there every time. No, she's just calculus by day. Painting this face is the most painting that you're going to see me do. I imagine, I imagine like having Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey like over you with like his like ladder like painting your eyebrows for you. Cause like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just painting. Okay. I have one last question for you. And then I'm going to give you a reading. I'm curious because you've had at least two opportunities to like share a role, right? Both Quasimodo and Ernst were both like you're sharing the role with a hearing actor and also maybe a non-queer actor. I don't know about Ernst or, well, I don't know about either of them, but what does it like to sort of have joint responsibility of a character in that way, especially with someone who's coming at it from a very different experience and angle? Well, both of them were different. I think Daniel who was my voice in Spring Awakening was not queer. If he is, I'm very sorry for that. I don't, I believe he's not. And then E.J. Cardona is also a straight man, but he's very open-minded and we'll talk about anything. And he's also from Latin background. That's where we can, I think, you know, background. But he and I definitely have, I learned a lot because like I said, with Spring Awakening, that was a learning process. So I was learning through Michael Arden's way of doing it. Like, so when you're doing a character together, I think it's important to think about like, what does this relationship on stage mean? And I think that's what I learned from Spring Awakening was like, I had to figure out with Michael what does Ernst's character mean? So we talked about like these ideas of like him embracing his gay identity, but not knowing yet until he kisses Hanshin. And then that's when my voice walked away from me because I didn't need this anymore. I knew what I was. So I'm now gay. So I know this, I don't need you anymore. And so that relationship changed in the play. With Hunchback, it was, I defined E.J. as the one gargoyle who wasn't based on a saint. Because all the other ones I thought were based on saints. So I didn't think that my mind would allow me to fully show my full self. I mean, you don't show the priest your full self. So I thought that one would know everything about me and would sign the best. And so we really worked a lot together on that relationship of when you're alone, like who do you talk to? Like who's that character? And so we talked about that a lot. And E.J. and I just sat, I mean, every day and just talked about choices and things just like David, Daniel, David Stewart. And I feel like you have to have the sense of humility because you have to be willing to say like this character's not 100% mine. But at the same time, you have to know that you're driving it. Like I'm the one driving this car. You're just telling me the direction sometimes. And so it's just a very interesting process of sometimes E.J. like my favorite thing about E.J. was in one rehearsal, we were rehearsing made of stone. And I remember we were doing one part of it and I signed a certain way. I was just doing my thing. And he stopped doing it. I called up this, this has a lot of hurt and anger that I didn't realize he was putting in the line, let's go back. And so we went back and did it again. And then he was like, oh, when you said this, I noticed this about this line. I was like, oh my God. So it's almost like you get two eyes on one character and it gives you more depth and more discussion and more heart. And so I love it, I live. But I think it's important that we separate between access for the audience and access for the characters in the stage world. Yeah. That makes sense when I'm saying like, creatively when you have a voice with a deaf actor, I always say like, are they here for the audience? Are they here for my characters or are they here for me? Yeah. And so when you define that, I think it helps, you should make choices to match that goal rather than just being like, it feels cool. You know, it's like, no, there's a purpose and now they're here. Yeah. That's amazing. That's so cool. I can't wait to see you on stage one day. I know like, y'all won an award, right? For your jointly for, for that Quasimodo, Gregory. Yeah, Gregory, yes. And like, I know so many people were so deeply moved by that production of Spring Awakening, which is a musical I love. Like I've heard many people say like, wow, Spring Awakening made sense to me for the first time. Like it elevated the material. Like I wish I could have seen that, but I'll see you soon. Yeah, the first scene, you on stage two, I have another joke for you before. Okay, yeah, please. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna start shuffling the cards and we need another joke. Okay, so this is another nine binary joke, which I think are great. How does one non-binary ninja kill another non-binary ninja? They slash them. Literally, why am I literally missing every single one of these and everyone in the chat screams them? Are they really? Are they really? No. Literally everyone is like saying the answers as you say them. Something else that I guess I don't get to talk about is that sometimes I'm like, have a lot of very useless knowledge, but the easy, the easy things to tie together just go right over my head. Oh, same, same thing for TikTok. TikTok has worked hard for me to do nine binary jokes and I'm like, yes, I had to do it. I love it. All right, Josh, are you ready to do a reading? Ready. I have my Lisa Frank cards ready with you. All right. Hi. Here we go. I'm obsessed with the Lisa Frank cards. So I'm gonna tell, you know, I know you know, you're familiar with the tarot, but for those of us who are not, it's separated into two parts, the tarot deck, the major arcana and the minor arcana. I'm gonna overly simplify, let's think of the minor arcana as sort of like a deck of cards, like there are different suits and you know, numerical levels. The major arcana is like the 22 cards. I think of them sort of as archetypes. Like we were talking before about taking your three-dimensional lens to a two-dimensional character. The major arcana is very much like archetypical characters that when we translate ourselves through them, hopefully give us a little bit of insight and knowledge. So Josh, what are you thinking about right now? What are your questions? What do you want some clarity on? I have a question. Clarity is, I have so many projects, so many ideas, so many things I wanna do. How do I wring with them and make the most impact? That's my question. That's a good, like important two-part question. How to wrangle the projects in attempt to make the most impact, that's good. Okay, so I've shuffled. I'm gonna sort of bring these on the camera now and just cut the deck. So when you are ready, say stop and then the top card will be yours. Okay, so thinking about many projects, how to manifest them for the most impact, how to focus. You've drawn the emperor. The emperor is very interesting because it's about sort of leadership, power structures. Sometimes it sort of symbolizes a potentially, I don't know, patriarchal, like rule of society or government or civilization. But I think of the emperor also, like there's these mountains in the back as a very like sturdy grounded card. The emperor is definitely leading something. So especially in consideration with so many opportunities being around you in so many different directions to go, interesting to think about the ones in which you feel like you're leading the narrative or the project or the idea. We'll talk more about that, but I also want to bring in a sonnet. So I'm gonna do the same thing, just cutting the deck. Let me know what to stop. Because reading is what? Fundamental. Fundamental. Stop. Okay. This is sonnet 91. 90 cents down. Some glory in their birth, some in their skill, some in their wealth, some in their body's force, some in their garments, though newfangled ill, some in their hawks and hounds, some in their horse. And every humor hath his adjunct pleasure, wherein it finds a joy above the rest. But these particulars are not my measure. All these I better in one general best. Thy love is better than high birth to me, richer than wealth, prouder than garments cost, of more delight than hawks and horses be, and having thee of all men's pride I boast, wretched in this alone, that thou mayst take all this away and me most wretched make. So sonnet 91. I'll read it for you a second time. It's just since there's so much there, but what jumps out to me, please. I liked it. I felt like there was a connection and I need to have read it again, like you said. Yeah. So sonnet 91 is so much about all of the worldly trappings, all of the status symbols, which I feel like we can get very wrapped up in as people that are in the performing arts and in the entertainment industry and on social media. It's a lot about material possessions. But the poet here is saying like, y'all can take all of that because the most important thing to me is the one person that I love or whatever is the thing that I love, the thing that I'm leading with love. And in fact, the only thing that has power over me, the only thing that has the power to make me wretched is that thing that I imbue with love. And with power. And so if I don't need all of these fancy garments and all of these things, then they don't have the power to define me or to control what I think and how I feel about myself. So I'm gonna read it one more time while I'm also gonna show you the emperor. And just like this time, just think about if anything jumps out at you. Oh my God, look at your Lisa Frank emperor. That panda bear in overalls. Okay, I'm gonna try to look at your emperor while I also read and you look at my emperor. Some glory in their birth, some in their skill. Some in their wealth, some in their body's force. Some in their garments, though newfangled ill. Some in their hawks and hounds. Some in their horse. And every humor hath his adjunct pleasure wherein it finds a joy above the rest. But these particulars are not my measure. All these I better in one general best. Thy love is better than high birth to me. Richer than wealth, prouder than garments cost of more delight than hawks and horses be. And having thee of all men's pride I boast. Rretched in this alone, that thou mayst take all this away and me most wretched make. What do you notice? What's resonating? Really resonating with me with that picture was the eagle hawk on the chair coming up, watching and this sense of strength behind the person if you realize it's there, just take that strength. So that's what I'm getting from this is just to trust the strength and power I have and just go forth with it. Yeah. And look at this scepter has a little globe on the top of it. He's holding the entire world. It looks to me like sitting at the top of a mountain top or something. And what I think about- But it's also humble with his head down. Isn't that like ha-ha, he's like. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So when it comes to making your impact, I think, despite our age, it's clear that you've had a lot of amazing experiences and you've have a very clear point of view. And I think what we're gathering from this moment is like the world is ready and also needs to hear it. So when it comes to this sonnet too, it's very easy to let other metrics define us but something that I think is very important as a queer person. And I wonder if you feel as a deaf person is that my metric of success does not look like a heteronormative or a cis-heteronormative metric of success. I am defining something that I would like to accomplish for myself. And I try to not necessarily be, I try to not necessarily let the outside world influence that my leadership at this point and your leadership at this point, we've made it to the spot where we've survived the childhoods and we've survived some of the traumas and we know where we are and what we have to say and why we need to say it. So what more is there than that? I feel like the only thing to trip us up and make us wretched is getting too caught up in other people's nonsense. And I think it seems from today and this evening that you and I are well poised to pay bitches no mind unless they're paying our bills. Pay our, paying our bills. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah. Thank you, that was really nice. Yeah, thank you. Josh. Do you have time for me to do your tarot card or no? Yeah, let's do it. That would be amazing. Okay, okay. Hannah, is it that you seek? Right now I am seeking some clarity on balance as a Libra that's very important to me, but I also can have like workaholic tendencies. So I go like play hard, work hard. I like do the most when I'm working and then I have to have like zero percent when I'm disconnected from the world when I am playing. It's just a lot of balancing and balancing. It's a lot of balancing from extremes. So I'm wondering about if I need to consider a more consistent balance or intersection. Is the balance of, is the balances of our choices and like working for us? Yes. I'm gonna shuffle and cut the deck. Yes. Tell me. Stop. Great. Yes, thank you. So what this means is I don't know tarot card so you're gonna have to find this one. So, oh my God, I'm reading myself. Wow. I mean, that's honestly my personality those to read myself. The wheel of fortune says, you know, like keep on keeping on when it's good, it's good. When it's bad, it's bad, but it's only, you know, temporary. It's just, it's fate. Fate keeps turning and it keeps going on. Make peace with the change. And so I wonder if in response to my question, it's saying like, you know, work is gonna come and it's gonna go, rest is gonna come and it's gonna go and like life goes on and things are as they are meant to be. So try to just appreciate the busyness when, you know, when many opportunities are coming your way as opposed to being overwhelmed by it. And then, you know, make your time in your space to chill and relax. Cause the situation is not always when in your control, like, you know, as artists and actors, we don't necessarily get to decide when we're working. And so I think your Lisa Frank card just told me, you know, to chill and go with the flow, which is not wrong. The wheel of fortune, what that means is you have to accept that life comes and goes. Things are like clouds, but in this case, you're in a fishbowl, okay? I know you're an air sign and not used to water. Girls, time for you to be fluid. Don't be so rigid, be fluid. Fit in the opportunities that I presented to you. Amen. Thank you, Josh. I will take that with me for sure. Oh my God, this has been an iconic and one-of-a-kind episode of Teacakes of Tarot in so many ways. Thank you so much for just giving me that literal treat. Well, I think that happened in a time we can be foolish together, so thank you. Oh my God, and there's more foolishness to come, I can tell. You know, we, oh my gosh. Oh, I love you. Thank you so much for spending time with me. Like, this has been really, really just like so fun and so beautiful and so silly and so wonderful. Bye, Josh, I'll see you soon. See you soon. Oh my gosh, thanks all for being here. Wow, so much happened that I didn't know was gonna happen and isn't that like a really fun surprise as a host? So here we are, Teacakes of Tarot. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed what you saw, we this very morning just released the Teacakes of Tarot podcast. So you can find that on Spotify and Apple Podcast. We just released four episodes this morning. So we're gonna be releasing a new one every Thursday. They go back to our first season in September and yeah, and we're gonna be working forward. I'm so excited for, every single one of these encounters has been so wonderful and so iconic and so special and really honestly like educational. The guests have brought so much beauty and intellect and insight. And so we quickly realized like, oh my God, we have to preserve these somehow. And so we are preserving them in that podcast. So if you enjoyed your experience today, I hope that you'll give that a download. So you can listen to it whenever you need some, some, you know, queer imagination and queer beauty in your life, which for me is often. Thank you so much to HowlRound and our producer Island Shakespeare Festival who have made this all possible. This is our first of a trio of HowlRound episodes. So we are going to be in this space wherever you found us on Zoom, on Facebook, on Vimeo. We're going to be here two weeks from today with Yehan Osanyin, who is like a multidisciplinary, just like super capable Seattle artist, non-binary person who is creating such ways with community focused art. I cannot wait to talk to them. And then two weeks from that, so four weeks from today, we'll be talking with Robert O'Hara, who is the like iconic director of Slave Play on Broadway, a hugely talented playwright, huge voice in the American theater. And I'm so humbled that he's gonna be here sharing space with us. Thank you again so much for being here. Thank you for bringing Teacake Centero into your evening. I hope to see you again soon. Please, please, please make sure that you are being gentle with yourselves and each other as we learn how to be in community again. I know I'm very excited, but I know it will present challenges. And so I think the best thing you could do is be gentle and kind with yourself and with others. Until the next time, thank you very much. See you soon. Big thanks to my interpreter, Brad. Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad. Thank you, Brad Galloway. And to all of you, I hope you have very sweet dreams.