 Does silence make a man miss you? That is what we're gonna be talking about today. It's one of those questions a lot of women sometimes come to me and they want to use silence as kind of this thing where they play hard to get. I'm gonna talk a little bit about why that's a bad idea and when silence is actually an effective tool and when it's not an effective tool and why you would wanna use it and why you wouldn't wanna use it. Hello, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. And so let's get started here. So what are some of the reasons why you would want to bring silence about and when does silence actually make him miss you? So the first one is that silence works if he likes you and he's attracted to you and this kind of seems like a common sense one but it might not be that much into common sense because sometimes I'll talk to women and they're like, okay, there's this guy and I like him and I went silent on him and he's not pursuing me. And so there's kind of an answer there, right? It's kind of like a little test. You went silence on this guy and he never ended up pursuing you. And the reason that it was read wrong was because you projected your attraction for him onto him, thinking that he was attracted to you in the same way that you're attracted to him and we get women that do this all the time. Guys do this as well, by the way. And so what ends up happening sometimes is that women will talk to a guy and they'll like this guy and so they want to get this guy to be attracted to him and so they jump into this thing that I call the dancing monkey, right? And they'll start being like, doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly trying to get this guy's interest and trying to keep him interested. It's like one of those monkeys with like the big symbols and he's like smashing it together and that can get attention but attention and attraction are two completely different things. And so don't mistake his attention for his attraction. And so what you really want is to have a relationship where a guy is actually attracted to you and he is doing the work to be involved with you. He's showing you that he wants to be in a relationship with you. And if you're in the initial dating phases, he needs to be investing in you, pursuing you and convincing you that you should be with him not the other way around. If you've communicated that you're interested in him and he's definitely interested in you, you can lean back and he'll step up to the plate if he's serious about it. And so that tells you a lot about whether he's serious about it and whether silence, the silence in this case is actually kind of a test, right? It shows if he is attracted to you and you've kind of created this interest which we'll be talking about here in a second, he will start pursuing if he is actually serious about it which he might not be, right? Some guys just like attention. Some guys just like to get their emotions riled up. They get satisfaction, they get their needs met through just talking to you or discussing things or not moving things forward being a pen pal. And so you don't want any of that, right? And so, all right, let's move on to number two. And by the way, if you're here with us right now say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's cool to see so many women from all over the world watching all these live streams. All right, so number two is silence works when he has an emotional addiction to you. So like when a drug addict loses their fix, right? They're like, you know, all they can think about is the drug, how can I get this drug? How am I gonna get this drug? You know, hopefully his emotional addiction to you isn't nearly as extreme as a drug addiction but there are some correlations to it. They have found that when you break up what they found is that it's kind of like going through a withdrawal. And so if he has enough emotions invested in you and he's addicted to the emotional experience of being around you because you've been using the stuff that for instance I talk about in the forever woman program, then he will definitely miss you. If you haven't been using that stuff then he might not miss you. And so you definitely wanna check that out. You can check it out at the foreverwomanformula.com. Gotta throw it in. Gotta throw the pitch in there. All right, so number three is silence works if there's positive anchoring. And so what is anchoring? Anchoring is the motion. It's when he feels an emotion when he thinks about you, right? So if he feels an emotion when he thinks about you that's anchoring, right? It's an association in his mind. He thinks of you, he feels good. And if he has that then silence could end up working, right? If he feels a lot of positive emotion because of the great positive experiences that you guys have had together he's far more likely to miss you if you ended up going silent on him. And if his emotional anchoring to you is negative then he might actually feel relieved and happy that you're finally going silent and he doesn't have to deal with talking to you anymore or being around you anymore. And so that's why it's so absolutely important to connect with him in a positive way. I get women who sometimes try to trigger men with negative emotions that they don't wanna feel over and over again to try to prove that the guy cares try to get him to prove that he cares about her. And so they'll do things like fight or argue with him or attack things that he cares about, make fun of him do things that she probably wouldn't want done to her, right? Creating drama where it doesn't need to be or trying to make him jealous or any of those things, right? Those gamey type things playing games with him trying to use emotional manipulation and stuff like that. And if you do this too often he'll welcome the silence that you guys have between you and he'll start planning his escape from the relationship and he'll wanna get out of there because if he's the more mature he is as a man the more likely he is to wanna get out of there and the less mature that he is as a man the more likely he might get caught up in those gamey manipulation tactics. So all right, so number four is silence works if it creates a contrast. So there's something that I call the contrast principle and basically what this says is that a man will start appreciating you more if you create a contrast. It reminds him of how amazing you are. And so maybe you've experienced this before where maybe if you've come in from the cold it's really cold outside and it's freezing and your hands are like numb and you're like, whoa, you come in, you put your hand by a fire and all of a sudden it heats up really fast and you're like, oh my God, it's really hot. Whereas if you were in the heat and you put your hand next to a fire it doesn't feel as hot, right? Because there's this contrast because you're cold and then you're hot and maybe you can do it like if you've jumped in a shower, right? A really warm shower after you're really cold outside and your feet and your hands are like, oh my God, that's really hot, right? And you feel that way because you're cold and there's a contrast or for instance if you've ever been really thirsty and gotten a drink of water, right? Water's great, but it tastes amazing when you're thirsty. It tastes absolutely amazing when you're thirsty. Even you water haters out there. I know you'll love water if you're really thirsty. It's true. All right, so if you've ever had great experiences together and now he's stuck at work or he's doing something boring or not nearly as interesting and exciting as being around you, then he'll definitely miss you when you're not there. And so that's when silence works, right? When it creates this contrast where all of a sudden you're not around him, you're not bombarding him with messages and you're just silent, right? Maybe you're leaning back or whatever, you're doing one of the things that we teach about in our programs and he's like, oh God, I wish I was with her right now, right? And that's why it's so important to create a great connection with a man. That way he feels really good about you. He feels really good around you. And by the way, if you get what I'm talking about right now, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what we're talking about right now, ask me whatever questions you have and we will go over the questions here in a little bit. All right, so when does silence not work? Let's talk a little bit about this. Number one is silence doesn't work if he's not invested, right? It won't work if he's not invested. So women who try to play too hard to get in the beginning, for instance, right? And they reject a guy or they insult him or they throw up a whole bunch of barriers in front of a guy. This usually won't end up getting them the guy. They won't end up with this guy unless he is like super aggressive. A few men out there might like it, but most men will not. He has to be incredibly aggressive for this kind of thing to work. And there are some barriers that you can put up in some ways that you can do this that will make a guy want to try to get more investing in you from the start, but that's kind of gamey stuff, so we're not gonna be talking about it here right now. So it's hard enough for a guy, if you think about one of the most important things that you can do in any relationship and one of the reasons why a lot of relationships fail is because we get into our own heads, right? And it's all about what we're thinking and we start creating assumptions about people. And so one of the most powerful things that you can do with a partner, if you have a partner, is to be compassionate and have compassion for the person that you're with in your life. And one of the things that you can do in practice, even if you're single, is to think, have compassion for men and what men are going through and what they're experiencing when they have to come and approach you or talk to you or whatever in the real world. So it's hard enough for a guy most of the time to work up the courage to talk to a woman. He doesn't know if she's not giving him some real indicators that she wants him to come over and talk to him. And then if you do some kind of vicious rejection or silence or whatever, early on in the dating process, it could potentially just make him think that you're not interested and most guys at this point will usually lose interest in talking to you. So it's really simple to tell if somebody's interested in what you're saying. If you're talking to somebody and they're interested, they'll nod their head and be like, oh, yeah, yeah, and they'll talk to you. Somebody that's not interested will look around, they'll be trying to find other things to do or reasons to get away from you or whatever. And so if you're talking to a guy and you want him to continue on in the initial stages, you have to give him some kind of encouragement, show him that you're interested in him talking to you. Number two is silence won't work if you're not emotionally connected together. So if a man's emotions aren't engaged with you, he's not gonna miss you. You need to connect with him by using emotional engagement, right? So he wants to see the special unique, valuable, amazing parts of your personality. He wants to see and experience the value that you bring to his life. If you're boring, like all, most of the women that he meets, which most of the women that he ends up meeting, he feels no emotional connection to he, which ends up slotting them into this casual, I can hook up with this person kind of category and makes him not feel like he wants to deal with any kind of challenges or barriers or anything that comes up. That's gonna be what ends up happening. But if you're following what we talk about on this channel, if you're using the forever woman program, then you know to connect with a man in a different way, use your personality to connect with them, use your emotions to connect with them, show him that you're special and different and unique and nothing like all the other women that he meets in his life. That way, he actually wants to be with you, right? If you never show him aside to you that special silence will only make him forget about you. So number three, let's talk about three, is silence will not work if you're waiting for him to get to the hint. And a lot of wives can vouch for this one, right? So when a woman pouts and she's waiting, she's like tapping her foot and she's like, oh, you know, maybe he'll get the hint that I'm angry right now, right? She ends up waiting for a really long time and the guy's like, oh, I thought, you know, I was kind of like enjoying it. I thought we were just hanging out together, but you were over here mad the entire time and I had no idea because you're giving him the silent treatment and he doesn't realize that the silent treatment means that you're angry or he actually enjoys it, which is kind of an interesting thing as well, right? So relationships work out much, much better when both partners try to say what they mean and stop with trying to do all the hints, right? Women tend to be really good at being detectives, right? Private investigators, right? They're like, look at dropping hints. They're looking for hints. They're like, what does this mean, right? He like, the guy's like walking. She's like, well, he walked and then he turned left. What does the left turn mean, right? He was talking to me and his bottom lip was like moving faster than his top lip. What does that mean? You know, it's just like all these random things Women are, you know, they're really great at being private investigators. They're really great at being detectives, but guys tend not to be as good at it and it's better in relationships, generally speaking to speak to the actual challenge or problem. By the way, I'm just joking with all that stuff for all the women that are gonna get really angry at me in the comments. I'm joking. I'm joking. It's a joke. It's a joke. Anyway, so number four is silence won't work if he feels only negative emotions towards you. If a guy has negative emotional experiences around you, going silent will only make him feel relieved to have you gone. We talked about this a little bit earlier. So that's why it's important to put positive emotional experiences that you have together into the relationship money jar. So imagine that you have a money jar and you're putting positive emotional experiences in there as much as you possibly can because that will end up making him feel a positive anchor to you. You'll feel a positive emotional association to you and overall then occasional negative experiences are just expected, right? It's a part of a normal relationship, but if negative experiences drive the relationship that you guys have together, it'll end up becoming a problem until it destroys the relationship and it becomes incredibly challenging to do anything about it. That's, it's a big, can end up being a big problem. All right, so if you're, if you wanna be loved and seen and absolutely cherished by a great guy, make sure that you check out my program, The Forever Woman, you can get it for free at theforeverwomanformula.com. If you have any questions, go ahead and ask your questions right now and we will go over whatever questions you have in the chat. So what do you got? What you got for me? Nadia says, are we on yet? The answer's yeah. We are on yet. All right, all right, all right. None of his Facebook user says he asked me not to contact him after we had an argument. Mm, mm. Mm, well thanks for telling us anonymous Facebook user. What shall your plan be? How long you guys been seeing each other? If you guys have been, I mean, it's one of those things. Sometimes it takes men a little bit of time to like, if they're like really angry about something, it takes them some time to like kind of wind down and let go of their anger and get back to a rational place and start feeling those positive emotions that we were just talking about towards you again. And so if he's like, hey, don't contact me again, don't contact him again and give him some space, give him that silence and allow him to kind of get over it and start missing you again if you guys have been seeing each other for a while. If you haven't been seeing each other for a while and you haven't put all those good emotions in the emotional money jar like we talked about, then who knows what might end up. If it's just new, it might not last if you guys are doing that. That's why you need to do, that's why you need to have positive emotional experiences. All right, so Robin says, I'm currently doing this 100. All right, do this 100. Edna says, hi from Abu Dhabi, his silence on me after an argument, how do I deal with that attitude? And we are in a committed relationship. Well, I'd give him, like what I just talked about with the woman before, I'd give him some space, just give him some time, give him some space, right? If he's all like angry and he's upset and you're over here like poking them, right? They call it like poking the bear. You're like over here poking the bear. And he's like, hey, I need some time to like deal with my anger issues, right? Women and men a lot of times tend to deal with their anger issues in a different way. Women tend to want to talk things out, right? They want to discuss things. And this isn't in all cases, by the way, different people are different and you have to kind of figure out what's going on with the person that you are seeing. However, if he like, is like, hey, I, you know if he's angry and he's having an argument and he needs some space, just give him some space and start working on yourself, working, work on your own life, work on things that are important. And that matter to you and give him that space and let him work on himself and get through that anger and then come back because at some point he's gonna start missing you if you guys have been together. And like I said, you have a lot of positive emotional experiences together. What will end up happening is he'll be really angry and at some point he's gonna be like, oh, I'm so tired of being angry and I really miss those good times that we had together. I want to be back with her. And sometimes guys will end up apologizing. Sometimes they'll just show back up. Sometimes they'll do different things. And so you need to make sure that you're giving him that space to do that. Cause if you, if he's angry and you're like showing up all the time what you'll end up doing is creating that negative anchor that we were talking about before where he thinks of you and he thinks of anger and he thinks of you and he thinks of anger and it happens over and over and over again. And then whenever he thinks of you, he thinks of anger and that's when relationships fall apart real fast. So you don't want to do that. Mina says, hello, I'm from South Africa. Happiness, peace and joy to everyone. Well, thank you. Mina, happiness, peace and joy to everyone. Annie says, hi Matt, love listening to you. You give the best advice. Well, thank you, I appreciate you. I appreciate you saying that to me. Thank you so very much. Carol says, what if he's to be just friends but he's made other friends? Well, I'm not sure what the problem is. If you're just friends with them and you're just trying to be friends with them then why do you care if he's made other friends unless you want something more than just friends which is usually why people will say that. Claudia says, we've been dating for four months now. He is very busy working because he has his own company. He texts me every day but sometimes I don't respond. He seems to play games and doesn't respond to me the same day. It happens more and more often that he doesn't text me goodnight and the next day everything is okay. What does it mean? Well, it sounds like you're both playing games with each other, right? You're like, in this you say, he texts me every day but sometimes I don't respond and then you're like, he's playing games with me by not responding until the next day. And it's like, okay, you're playing games with him. He's playing games with you. If you wanna like a serious real relationship with somebody, you gotta stop playing games. Just stop it. Just stop playing games altogether and instead connect with each other and focus on connecting with each other. You can give him space and this whole silence thing and when we talk about leaning back, we're not talking about it in terms of like creating this game and trying to manipulate him into doing what you want him to do. What we're talking about is getting him room. Giving him space, creating an opening for him to move into and create the relationship that he wants to create. If you're like just randomly never texting him back when he texts you something, he's probably thinking that you're playing games with him. And so he's like, all right, well, I guess I gotta play games with her too because that's the situation that we're in. And so now you guys are in this game warfare and you're getting deeper and deeper and deeper into it. And so my suggestion is that you stop playing the games and you know, once, because you guys are starting to get to the point where it's serious, right? You're starting to get to the point where you're starting to figure out whether you guys really wanna be with each other. The whole, most people kind of do this thing for about three months when you first meet each other where you're kind of putting on a show and all that kind of stuff and trying to be the best you that you can be. Then all of a sudden you're like, showing up in sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of a dress. And he's like, you know, he's showing up with a, you know, stain on his t-shirt instead of like a nice button down or something, right? And so what you gotta do is you gotta figure out whether you guys have been playing games from the very beginning or not because if you have been playing games from the very beginning and that's what he's attracted to and that's what you're attracted to, then it's gonna be really hard to have a relationship where you guys don't do that because you set up a frame from the very beginning of the relationship that says we play games, right? And what you wanna do is set up a frame instead that says we have honesty, we have connectedness, we have this space, this open space where we are allowed to honestly and openly have conversations with each other, talk through issues with each other, right? And if you guys aren't in a mature relationship then that's not gonna be the case, right? Instead you're gonna end up just playing these games and then this game world that you're gonna play until at some point what's gonna end up happening is you guys are gonna get tired of it and then one person's gonna start winning the games, the other person's gonna get really like annoyed with it and then one person's gonna get overly attracted to the other and then one person's gonna end up leaving and there's gonna be a break up. There's actually a pretty common pattern with people that play games like this and so you wanna avoid doing that kind of stuff as much as you possibly can. I hope that answered your question. Ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da. Women for all over the world, so cool, so cool. Michelle says, hi Matt, looking good. I love your energy. Great to be here having Mother's Day to all beautiful moms out there. Thanks Doc, all right, yeah. Hope everybody's doing great. Hope everybody's doing well. All right, so Conga says from New Jersey, USA, broke up six weeks ago, but heard nothing, sent a quick text two days ago and nothing. I'm scared he's gone forever and he might be. I don't know what your situation is but it's one of those things, one of the things that I talk about in my program about getting your ex back, if that's something that you absolutely wanna do, is getting to this space where you feel like you aren't gonna be devastated by him if he doesn't end up wanting to get back to you, right? Cause some of the, I don't know what your situation is but the real question is why did he leave, right? If it's been some women use this thing like the no contact thing and they do it and they're like, okay, I'm gonna go four weeks or I'm gonna go six weeks or I'm gonna go whatever in no contact and then I'm gonna contact him, right? And that's the wrong way to do no contact. No contact isn't about just hanging out and waiting and hoping that he comes back to you because men don't wanna get back into the same situation that they left. And if you haven't done anything differently in the last six weeks, then pulling, trying to pull him back into the same relationship that he just left is just simply not gonna work, right? The only way that a guy's gonna wanna get into a new relationship with you is if he feels like it's gonna be different this time around. If he broke up with you, the only way you'll wanna get back together is if he feels it's different this time around. And if you're in that no contact phase, what you need to be doing is changing enough of what's going on with you internally so that when you do come back to it, you're coming back to him from a space of bringing kind of a new you, like a refreshed you, the best version of yourself, the confident, sexy, amazing, intelligent, awesome, beautiful version of yourself that's like, boom, what's up? And you're just awesome. And he's just like floored by you. And he's like, whoa, like what, like when I left, you were in this weird state and now you're like moving on with your life and you're doing things that you didn't do in the relationship and you figured new things out that you want your life to be about. And you figured out how the relationship was holding you back and how you've created this new amazing life for yourself. Like that kind of a woman, when you run into your ex again is the kind of woman that a guy's like, whoa, like, you already have that kind of emotional history together. So it's a lot of times a lot easier to reattract him, but you've got to do the work, right? And not all ex back situations you can get your ex back, right? Unfortunately, it's not not everyone you can. And so it kind of depends on what ended up happening, you know, why he left and what you've done to kind of rectify the reasons why he's left since you broke up. Michelle Edelman says, so leaning back would also include pulling your energy back, claiming your space. Well, it's really more than anything, leaning back is it's doing two things. One, it's kind of creating this vacuum, right? Like this opening, you're creating an opening where you're like, hey, come on in, right? It's an invitation. You're creating an invitation. You're showing him that you're still interested in him. You're creating an invitation and then you're creating and working on your life and creating a life that you really love and that you really enjoy, right? And so it has to be an invitation. It's not just about, you know, pulling your energy back and claiming your space. It's really about creating an invitation for him to show that he's really interested in the relationship, right? And so you can find out all kinds of things when you lean back as to how interested this guy really is in creating the kind of relationship that you wanna have. If he's not really that interested in it, it's good that you know that sooner than later, right? Like we talked about in the video earlier, if he's, if you're going silent, if you're leaning back, if you're doing all these things and you haven't, if he's not attracted to you, if you guys haven't created an emotional connection together, if you guys don't have lots of positive emotional experiences together, then he might end up walking away, right? Which is why it's so important to have those positive emotional experiences from the very beginning. And for him to be pursuing you from the very beginning. Irene says, if he's personally is introvert and needs a lot of time alone and he can go two weeks without contacting me, should I lean back until he initiates? Yeah. And if I were you, if you're not in a committed relationship with him right now, my suggestion is that you would, if this, cause this is a pattern, right? And this is a pattern that you'll probably end up experiencing for a long time. And so if this isn't the kind of relationship that you want to get into, my suggestion is that you start using what we talk about in the forever woman program, the foreverwomanformula.com and making sure that you create abundance for yourself, abundance and connection and abundance in your options with men so that potentially you can be with a guy who's more suited to what it is that you want to have together instead of being in this situation where this guy isn't contacting you for two weeks at a time, right? Even as an, I'm a massive introvert, right? And two weeks is a long time. And usually if I met you and I was interested in you, I wouldn't go two weeks without contacting you, right? Like why would a guy go two weeks without contacting you, right? It's not because he's introverted, right? An introvert doesn't need two weeks, right? Maybe if he's got social anxiety, he might need some more time. Maybe if he's got other types of like anxiety issues, he might need some more time. But just being an introvert is not what makes him pull away for two weeks at a time, right? You can get your kind of energy back from just being away from people for a day as an introvert. And so I wouldn't go off of that one. Claudia says, what if I go silent on him and then he does the same? Well, you guys are already, we've already talked about this. You guys are in a game-playing situation. You guys got to stop doing that and start having real communication and real connection, right? You guys are four months in. You guys have been playing games for way too long. You need to start connecting with him in a real way and start having real conversations with him and start asking him questions and connecting with him in ways that we talk about in the forever woman program. And my suggestion is that you use that system because it's the best system that's out there for creating a great relationship instead of playing some kind of game-playing thing that you guys are talking about. Kathy says, hi, Matthew. Good to see you well and looking fine. Well, thank you. Appreciate that. It's good to, I hope you're well and looking fine as well. I am, I am, I am doing well and I am looking fine. All right. Blessing says, I am confused about my relationship. We've been dating for some months. He don't call, he don't like calling or starting a conversation. I'm always trying to start a conversation. How do I know he is serious with me? Well, you can pretty much bet that he's not serious with you if he's not initiating contact ever, right? He's serious, so here's what happens, right? If you start, so if you start over pursuing a guy and you're the one initiating all the contact and you're doing all these things, right? A lot of times what ends up happening is this is a situation that women get into all the time. They do a role reversal, right? They do a flipped role reversal and they start pursuing and chasing the guy and the guy starts leaning back and chilling out and if he's not that interested in you he'll still let you do all these things, right? He'll still let you chase him. He'll still let you plan the dates. He'll still let you invest in him. He'll still let you do all those things even if he's not that interested because he likes the attention. He likes getting intimate with you. He likes all the benefits that he receives from you pursuing him and being with him. That doesn't mean he's serious, right? If he's serious, he will be pursuing you. He will be investing you and you. My suggestion is that you use the dating experience that you have as like a trial, right? This is a test and it's not a test for you. I mean, partially it's a test for you but more than anything it's a test for him as well, right? It's a test for both of you. Are we right for each other? Are you the kind of guy who's going to put in the effort and the energy into this relationship that I need in order to really feel like I'm being loved and cherished and valued in our relationship. If you don't feel like you're being valued and cherished and loved in your relationship then you need to find a relationship where you are going to feel those ways. You need to make sure with this guy that you communicate to him and let him know but don't get attached. See, that's one of the problems that a lot of women have is they will be super into a guy and the guy pulls back because he's not really that interested and then the woman starts investing and she does all this stuff, right? And she gets to this point where she's like, oh, I don't want to lose this guy. I'm emotionally connected. I'm all these things because she has been chasing and pursuing and all those things, right? And you never ever, one of the rules that we talk about in the forever woman program, one of the rules that we talk about in there is initiating conversation percentages, right? And you don't ever want to go past 50%, right? And you don't ever want to go below 20% because if you're going below 20% unless the guy's really confident and really aggressive and he's really like, hey, I know what's going on here and I know what I want, I'm going to do this. Unless he's like that, what's a lot of times going to happen if you go below the 20% mark is he's going to think you're not really that interested and he wants somebody that's really interested in him. If you go above the 50% mark, what ends up happening is you start missing red flags that are very, very important for you to experience. And what ends up happening with a lot of women is they're like so invested in this and you're talking about this several months things, right? You're like, we've been seeing each other for several months and he's never initiating contact. How do I know that he's serious? You already know that he's not serious, right? You have an intuition. Women's intuition is one of the most powerful things that a woman has, right? It's your superpower and you know that there's something wrong here which is why you're on here talking to me about it and asking whether to know whether he's serious or not because you already know deep in your heart, deep in your gut that he's not really serious and there's something missing here. And that's why what you need to do is communicate with him and set up boundaries and let him know what you want and what you don't want and then lean back and give him some space and allow him to decide whether and choose whether he wants to be in this relationship and choose whether he wants to step up or not. Don't give him all the made-ups. Don't give him, you know, don't attack him or shame him or belittle him for what he's doing. Just let him know what you want and put yourself in a position where you actually are willing to walk away from this if it's not actually what you want because it doesn't sound like he's building the foundation for the type of relationship that you wanna have. It's been several months in, he's not initiating, he's not pursuing you. You need to think about that, right? And you need to think about what's best for you. What kind of a relationship do you wanna have? If you want a relationship where you're chasing and investing and doing everything for the relationship and he's just leaning back and chilling out and you're the one rowing the boat, that's fine. But if you want a relationship where he's invested, he's pursuing, he's setting updates, he's treating you like a queen, he's valuing you, he thinks that you're an amazing, awesome, wonderful woman who deserves to be treated like a queen, then you need to make sure that you communicate that, you let him know what you don't want and then you step back from the situation and you let him prove to you that he is gonna step up and create the relationship that you want to have because you deserve that. You are worth more than what you're currently getting. That's all I have to say about that. I hope that answers your question. I don't even know, yeah, there was a question. All right, so Mina says, so I am 53 years, but I look 43 and haven't been able to find my ideal guy yet. Well, don't give up, just keep going, keep doing the right things, follow my system if you haven't been following it yet, make sure you get it, it's at theforeverwomanformula.com and you can get that for free. It'll teach you all the best things that you can do, all the best techniques, all the best stuff that you can do, what to do if a guy pulls away, what to do in different situations, how to talk to guys, how to connect with guys, how to build a deep, powerful emotional connection that makes them feel addicted to you, that makes them fall in love with you. I talk about all that stuff in my program, it's my flagship program, it's a best-selling program. You should get it, it's free, you can get it, theforeverwomanformula.com, it's amazing, check it out. All right, all right. I know people were asking about Fred last week, so I wanted to show you guys, Fred is still alive. I have been watering him, actually I haven't been watering him, my girlfriend's been watering him every two weeks and he's still alive, he's making it guys. Fred is still alive, there's hope, there is hope in this world, there's hope in this world. Irene says, if he's not used to texting and don't always know how to start a conversation, is it better for me to initiate most of the conversations? Well, you can initiate a conversation, so here's my suggestion, right? And I talk all about this in the foreverwoman program, I'm basically reiterating a lot of details of the foreverwomanformula, although there's a lot more stuff you need to learn, but here's one of the things that you need to think about as far as texting. My suggestion is that if you're talking to a guy and your guy is not a big texter, don't try to make him be a texter, right? Like women come to me all the time and they're like, how do I get my man to be good at texting? He sucks at texting, like leave him alone about that, right? He's not a good texter, he's not gonna be a good texter, you're not gonna teach him how to text, right? You're not gonna give him a class and be like, all right, so here's what you do, right? And he's not gonna follow it even if you did, right? Instead, what you wanna do is focus on meeting up, right? Focus on meeting up. Let him, if you want to, you're welcome to try initiating sometimes and you can let him kind of take the conversation from there and run with it to meeting up with you, but my suggestion is you focus on the meetup, right? Always remember this, the magic is in the meetup. The magic is in the meetup. You want him to meet up with you. You don't want to text all the time and if he's not a big texter, if he's not a big person that talks on the phone, that's fine, there's plenty of women that aren't big texters, there's plenty of women that aren't good at talking on the phone and instead what you wanna do is you wanna meet up in person because that is where the real connection is built, especially if you've got a guy who's not into texting. So don't focus on the texting, instead focus on the meetup, focus on meeting up. I talk more about that in the forever woman program. Didi says, I have a friend who has never been complimented on a date, even though she's very pretty. What do you think is going on? Well, it could be a whole bunch of different things. I mean, I'd have to see what is going on with her more, right? Because beauty isn't just in your physical attractiveness. It's also in your personality, right? In fact, more of the beauty is in your personality. If she's never ever been complimented before on a date, like, you know, what's going on there? Like what is, what's the thing that's happening on the date, right? How is she connecting with men on the date? Because as a guy, right? Like if you're a guy and you go on a date with a woman, like you might, like, and you've gotten any kind of advice at all about, about connecting with women, unless you're, you know, going to the super lover school of how to go on a date with a woman, most guys aren't gonna be looking to compliment you on a whole bunch of your physical attributes, especially if you're really pretty. Because what guys think is she's beautiful. She already knows that she's beautiful. Every dude probably compliments her. So I want to be different, right? And so they meet with her and they connect with her. And, you know, how is she connecting with them is the real question. Because if they're having a good time and it's playful and he's laughing, you know, compliments are just gonna naturally come out. They're just gonna come out from, you know, I like you, like, oh, that's, you're really funny. You know, it's cool being around you. Those kinds of things should naturally come out. Another thing that could be going on is that she could just not be seeing the compliments, right? So back when I was in the men's dating space, we used to have this girl that would come with us and she would help us out when we would teach guys about going and talking to women, right? And she was kind of like our wing woman. And she would come out with us all the time and her name was Emily, right? And I remember she would always complain that guys never ever hit on her. And it was always interesting to me because she was a very pretty girl, you know? And I'm like, you know, I know women who are not even close to as attractive as her who get hit on all the time by guys, right? Who get compliments, who get hit on, all that kind of stuff. And so I was like, okay, we're gonna test this out one day, right? And so I took her, I was living, we were in Denver at the time and there was this club down the way and there was like this big, it was called Monarch. This club was called Monarch and they had this big kind of row that goes down the middle of the club. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna walk her through this club and we'll see what ends up happening because it was usually like a sausage fest in there. There's just tons and tons of dudes. And so I was like, all right. So I like take her and I just go for a beeline straight through to the other side. And I'm like, let's see what ends up happening. And so there's these guys that come up and they're like, hey, how are you doing girl? And you're looking good tonight, that kind of stuff, right? And other guys coming over and trying to dance with her and asking to buy her drinks and like, hey, pretty girl, you know, like all that kind of stuff, which granted isn't necessarily what she wanted to hear, but it was still her getting hit on, right? She was still being complimented. She was still being hit on all that kind of stuff. And this happened, I mean, it was like a circle formed around her of dudes who were just like trying to hit on her, trying to get her to dance with them, trying to get her to go to the bar and get her a drink and all this stuff, right? And we, you know, make it all the way to the other end of the club. And I turn around and I look at her and I was like, I was like, hey, I thought you said that guys never hit on you. And she goes, they don't, right? And one of the things that I realized after talking to her a bit about it was that she was one, you know, she wasn't getting the kind of attention that she wanted to get was one of it. But the other one was that she had kind of this mental block in her mind of actually receiving compliments and being hit on by guys, right? She in her mind was like, you know, guys don't like me, you know, you know, they're just doing that to make fun of me. They're just doing it to, she had like all these negative belief systems from her childhood, from her schooling system where she was, you know, somebody would say something to her and she felt like she was being picked on because that was the story she created. That was the meaning that she added to the events that happened when she was younger. And so she ended up having some kind of belief system about, you know, men don't hit on me, men aren't romantically attracted to me, men don't want me, that kind of a thing. And so it's one of those things, it could be a lot of different things, right? I don't know what's happening with your friend, Dee Dee, but it's very possible that she's kind of blocked that stuff out, right? Cause if she's pretty and she's not being hit on at all, she's not being complimented at all, it's very possible that she is, she has some kind of rules, right? So we have different rules for different things in our life and what that means, right? So for instance, we all have rules for what it takes to experience love, right? If I want to experience love, what does it take in order for me to experience that? And for some women, it's like, well, a guy has to wake up every morning and he's got to kiss me on the cheek and tell me that I'm the most beautiful, amazing woman that he's ever seen in his life. And then he's got to get up and make breakfast for me and put on my jacket as I'm leaving, right? And so if a woman has that kind of a belief system in her mind, right? These rules that are set up, like I have to experience, these very specific things have to happen in order for me to experience this, right? How difficult is it gonna be for her to experience love? It's gonna be really hot. Whereas if her rules were something like anytime I recognize the love that I have for myself, I experience love. Anytime I recognize the love that I have for somebody else, I experience love. Anytime I recognize the love that somebody else has for me, I experience love. If she has rules like that, it's very easy for her to experience love all the time, right? Anytime she wants to, because it's not this jungle gym of like dancing around things. And I got all these things have to happen, many which are completely outside of my control in order for me to experience love. And she might have those kinds of things around compliments. I don't know. That was kind of a, that was, that was kind of a long explanation. I hope it answers your question there, Dee Dee. So Kaladia says, we got more from Kaladia. She says, if he sometimes doesn't respond busy working or doesn't text me good night, does it mean that he dates someone else? Kaladia, here's the rule that you should ultimately follow and listen to and believe in and think about in terms of whether a guy is seeing somebody else or not. If a guy hasn't either told you that he wants to be exclusive or agreed with you, that he wants to be exclusive with you or that you're in some kind of committed relationship together. If a guy hasn't talked about either one of those things, just assume that he's dating other people. That's my suggestion, right? Cause in the Western world, right now, it's a little bit different in different cultures, right? If you're in Eastern cultures, a lot of Eastern cultures, even in some like Western European cultures, if you're dating somebody, that means you guys are together, right? You don't even have to question it because that's the culture that you're in. In the United States, the culture is, is that people are dating everybody and there's kind of this hookup thing going on. And unless you guys have some verbal agreement that something else is going on other than you guys just casually seeing each other and hooking up, then you can just assume that it's not exclusive and that he is seeing somebody else and men can do the same thing, by the way. I was talking to a friend of mine not too long ago and she was talking about how, you know, three of the guys that she's dating right now all got serious at the same time, right? It's like, you know, this is the world that we live in. It's not just men, it's not just women, it's everybody. This is the culture that we live. We live in the hookup culture and that's what's going on. And so if he's not talking about those things, if you guys haven't had those conversations, which you should have had by now, Claudia, which I talk about in detail in the Forever Woman program, then you can just assume that he's seeing other people until you have that conversation. Sky Phoenix says, I just joined the chat, but I don't think Silas necessarily makes a man miss you. Yep, we talked about that in detail. There, J Sky Phoenix. Okay, Katya says, what if a guy you're talking to won't let you on his social media but just lets you message with him? Very confusing and frustrating. And when I ask, he won't give me, he won't give me an answer, he ignores me. Well, I would say that he's hiding something from you, Katya, and that he is setting up a situation, you know, like have you guys met each other in person? You know, he could be a scammer. He could, there could be all kinds of things going on here if you haven't actually met him in person. He could have a wife and family and he doesn't want you on a social media because he doesn't want his wife and family seeing you. He could be a scammer. He is actually some guy living in a basement in Nigeria somewhere holding a rubber chicken in his hand, trying to figure out ways to steal your money from you, right? Those are all possible scenarios here. It could be that he doesn't have social media but it sounds like he does. And so I would say that there's a big red flag there and that you should either investigate more or move on to another situation depending on how invested and involved the both of you are. And so if you really, look, we live in this world right now where we have a lot of crazy things going on, right? We have the hookup culture which is more than anything else, it's society teaching us that we should be superficial to just get into superficial relationships where there's no depth there, there's no realness there. People are just hooking up right and left, right? Like people aren't dating as much anymore as they used to and they're not courting anymore. They're just, women are just driving over to dudes' houses and hooking up with them. We have women in our community that got put in these situations. A lot of guys are pulling away and disappearing when you decide that you wanna get serious because they don't want to get serious and they knew that from the beginning and you never had the conversations with them and you ended up diving in head first. And so you need to make sure that number one, you are protecting yourself to the utmost ability that you absolutely can. You need to make sure that you're putting yourself into the best possible position that you can put yourself in. And you need to make sure that you're communicating things that teach him that you are the kind of woman that deserves to be cherished and loved and seen and valued as the beautiful goddess queen that you absolutely are, right? And I teach all about how to do that in my program, The Forever Woman. You can go get it at theforeverwomanformula.com. You can go check it out, go there, watch the video. You can get the program for free. If you decide you wanna stay a part of our community, you can do that as well for a monthly fee. My suggestion is you go and get that program. It's helped tons of women, single women turn their situations around and get into great relationships. Some of them have gone on to get married. We've had women who are married end up turning around their entire marriage by using the system that we have. And we have, it's a great program and you will learn tons and tons of information. There's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't get it. If you really want to be seen and valued and loved and cherished in a great relationship with a guy where he pursues you for the kind of committed relationship that you wanna have, then you should get this program. Check it out. Thank you so much for being here with me today. I really appreciate all these amazing, beautiful, awesome, wonderful women that are here with us right now. You are some of the most amazing women in the world. We have the best women in the world as a part of our community. So thank you so much. I really am so grateful for you allowing me to be a part of your journey and helping you create the relationship that you wanna have. I'm all about being of service to you and trying to reach as many women as we can and get them into the system that will help them get into the type of relationship that they want in this crazy environment, in this crazy culture that we live in today. So thank you so much for being here today. I gotta get going. I gotta go floss a duck's teeth, but I will speak with you again soon and always remember, you are worth it.