 Okay, welcome back. So we were looking at goal setting and then we moved into action. So the first thing that we said is, once we've identified the goals, how do we ensure that we establish those goals and in Dennis's case, we said two goals. One is going for rehabilitation or you're stopping his drinking and the second goal was to change his thoughts. Okay. Now, even as you are going ahead with working with action, especially when, you know, you're formulating a plan, you also need to help them, help your counselling, find ways of how they can be reinforced for their action. For example, Dennis decided that he wants to quit drinking, right? So while you're doing that, you're also developing certain reward systems or certain reinforcements and in his case, maybe the conversation is about finding people who can support him in that journey, right? Supporting him in the journey of being able to stop his alcohol or it may be in finding a partner, an accountability partner who he can go alongside with, who will help him ensure that he's going for that rehabilitation program or going to the doctor or going for those group meetings, right? And a way that you can also, as a counsellor, be able to review of what his progress is and maybe some kind of reward. Now, reward doesn't mean you give him a chocolate or anything. It can also, it can just be acknowledging that he's making that progress, that he has not drank for two weeks or three weeks when he comes to meet you. It's just acknowledging. So reinforcing, you have to develop reinforcement so that they are motivated to continue to stick on. Like for example, if the person, let's say Dennis came to you two weeks later and said, you know, out of the 14 days, I drank two days, but 12 days, I didn't. So what should we focus on? Yeah. So the fact that he was able to do the 12 days rather than why didn't you do the two days also? Okay. But like you may help him say, okay, for 12 days, you didn't. What helped you on those 12 days, right? So you are building that reinforcement of those 12 days and not really paying too much of attention on those two days, but you can also ask, I mean, did anything different happen on those two days? So if you wanted to make the two days also better, what could you do? So you're basically the, you're helping for a reinforcement, all right? So that's what you would do on. So action doesn't mean, okay, Dennis, you decided to stop, stop drinking good. Let us go. Goodbye, Tata. No, right? So you say, okay, maybe after two weeks, we'll meet again to see what your progress is, which means you may need to hold contact with them for some time, all right, till the point. Yeah. You can text and say, how are you doing? How has the week been? You can definitely do, right? So that's what I'm saying is that once you get the action plan, you don't let go of them, you see them through for some time till they feel maybe confident to manage things on their own. So that may be different for different people, right? So now in Dennis's case, it's an addiction, but in somebody else's case, it may be something else, right? You'll stop the council. You can't force someone to come if they don't want to come, right? You can tell them, you'll say, would you like to meet? So they may say, okay, I think I got my answer, I should stop the council. Then you can suggest, you can say, you know, maybe, do you think it'll be helpful that we can meet and, you know, see how the progress has been and walk you through it for some time? You can suggest that, right? If they say no, it's up to them. If they say no, they say no, okay? So over here, what did Dennis do? Dennis actually found an accountability partner and he found a friend who could call him at any point of time in a day to ask him how he was doing. So this is what Dennis did, all right? He said, I'd like to find someone who will help me through this. And he said, if I stay clean for two weeks, then I will go for a movie with my friends. That was his reward. That was the reinforcement that he had. All right. So, okay, so Francis. So followed what I said, yeah? Are you here? Mostly. Okay. We're having an inner joke here. All right. Okay. So next is you're preparing him to implement the steps. So this is what you may have discussed about what the action is. When you prepare him, how is he going to implement those steps? Who is he going to talk to? Which friend is it going to be? After two weeks, who's going to go out with him? So you're really looking at how, what does he need? What are the resources he needs physically, emotionally, intellectually to perform each step? Maybe physically, he may need to call up some rehabilitation centers. Or emotionally, he may say every time, let's say, a rehabilitation center rejects him. How is he going to cope with that rejection? Right. Or intellectually, how is he going to keep, keep his mind alert in class when, you know, through those. So these are all the resources that he may need to implement that and formulate the first step, discuss the first step with him. What will you do next week when you come? So you're actually formulating that first step. So that's how you prepare to implement the steps. So in Dennis's case, his first step was to read up about different groups and decide which one to join. Okay. So that's what Dennis was doing. Then when are you going to do it? So you're asking him, when will you do it? And how is he going to do that search? Maybe through the internet or through friends. So you're actually building the entire one minute. There's too much of sound here. Yeah. It comes in the recording. Okay. Sorry about that. Yeah. Okay. So Francis, are you here? All right. So what is the first step that Dennis did Francis? No, over here. What is his action step? He said he wants to go to a rehabilitation program. So what is the first step that he did? So what did, what did we have to do to go to the rehabilitation center? It's there on the slide. So what is the first step he has to do to join a group? What should he do? Only distracted. I could say find a partner to. Okay. All right. So he needs to go to a rehabilitation group. What should he do first? What should he do first? If you want to buy, if you want to go buy groceries from here, what do you have to do first? But if you don't know the grocery place, what do you have to do? You should ask or you should find out. That's what he's going to do. Right. He has to find out which other rehabilitation centers. Okay. Got it. All right. Okay. All right. So that is, that is Dennis's first step. Then once all of that is done, once he's gone through the entire action plan, he, let's say he goes, he goes to the rehabilitation center. He finds out those details. Give him a feedback. Feedback is extremely important. Right. Why is feedback important? Because you are recognizing him for his achievement. So like I said, even if out of those 10 days, he drank one, two days and 10 days, you recognize that achievement, recognize that effort. Okay. Still you recognize your, he drank 10 days, but then drink only two days. Right. Still you give him the recognition for achievement. Isn't two days better than no day? Right. So recognize that achievement. Okay. That's important for us to know to always recognize what they are doing well because you know, and you confront carefully caring confrontation. If they slip or if they relapse. So I said, okay. So you don't go back first. You go back and say, okay, tell me what happened. Francis. Okay. Focus, focus. Okay. So the caring confrontation is you confront. What happened? How did it happen? What was your triggers where, which made you slip? Okay. So feedback is extremely important. So you're, you're looking at what are his slip ups or if there's any sport or hobbies that are working for him to help him stay clean. Okay. Next part of the action is termination. When all of your goals are met, you come to a place of termination. What is termination? Francis. What is the meaning of termination? Termination. Termination is when you're going to end. You terminate. You end with terminator. You've seen the movie terminator. No. Okay. Okay. It's end to end. Okay. So who decides when to terminate counseling? So, you know, the counseling may say, you know, I am, I stopped drinking for one year. I think I'm fine. I'm, you know, I think I can manage. They can decide. Okay. When to terminate the counseling is generally the one to terminate. Or the counselor can also suggest, you know, you, you seem to have done Francis. Okay. So counselor can also suggest if he sees that things are progressing and also you can express readiness for future sessions. You know, invite them and say in case you need some support, you can always come back for a future session. So in Dennis's case, the person terminated because he was dry for one year. That is, he didn't ring for one year. He started making good grades. His self esteem improved. He joined a rock band and, you know, he began to find that his self worth and significance had begun to build in Dennis's case. Okay. All right. Okay. Now is the time for practical session, not questions, practical session. Okay. All right. So now is the time that I am going to be the counseling. Y'all are going to be the counselors. Okay. And this will, we'll do a very, we'll start with very simple ones. Just to go back to what we have learning the three stages. Right. So we will look at only exploration in this, the first part, let's say the assessment part exploration, the first part, the assessment part. Okay. So I'll come with one small problem. By your questions, you're going to explore. You need to explore what the problem is and some details around the, the problem. Okay. All right. So who's the brave one? If you can turn on your cam. So one of the students here will do next one. I'll ask one of the other students. Now, right now the in person, in person students are the most privileged students. So comforting. Okay. So who'll start? Okay. Good. All right. So Prince, you'll put on your video so they can also see you. You're on mute. Oh, you can't talk. No, and I'm, you can. Oh, is it? But you're, you look. Oh, okay. Correct. Yeah. You can talk. Yeah. Okay. So Prince, I'll tell you maybe a little about what I'm coming with you. So we don't have to do the initial part of it. Okay. So I'll come with you, come to you for what? Okay. Small one only, small one only. Okay. So I'm going to come to you with, I'm a mother who has a daughter who is 25 years old and she has decided to get married, get married and to a person that, that I don't approve. Okay. All right. So what I'd like you to do is explore the problem. All right. So, which means you may, let's not look at assessment. I think we'll do a problem identification. Okay. So explore the problem. I'd like you to explore what I may be feeling about it. So let's just do that much explore the problem and identify the feelings that I'm going through. Okay. Very simple. And identify what feelings I have. Okay. All right. So I'm, I'm going to, I'll, I'll start. We won't do the first part with. So, you know, I've come to help to you because I have a daughter. She's 25. She is right now doing, she's in doing her masters in college. She's found a boy in her class that she wants to get married to. And she still has one more year of her studies. And she wants to get married right now. And I don't think it's a good idea. I really want some help to understand how I should work through this. What should I do to work through this? Absolutely. You're right. I'm really concerned. See, she's doing her masters. She has one more year to go. No, I really want her to finish her education because marriage is just going to disrupt all of this. Yes. So I'm really concerned that she's not willing to, I mean, she wants to get married right now. I think it's a, you know, I don't know how to, how to convince him. Take your time. Don't worry. You're doing a good job that you've actually, so take your time. Yes. Yes. Yes. It is that, you know, I mean, for 25 years, I've actually helped, worked with her and for her to just choose something without really having a conversation and understanding. How we as family feel about it is absolutely very, very upsetting and disappointing. You're right. Yeah. Yes. It is. It is. In fact, you know, I haven't been able to sleep very well because my mind is always thinking about this. I'm really distressed and, you know, I'm really concerned about this. My mind is always thinking about this. I'm really distressed and even at work, I can't concentrate because I don't know what she will do. What if she just, you know, just decides to get married suddenly? Impulsively. I'm afraid of all of that. Yeah. Yeah. You've done an excellent job of doing feeling, which you've helped me to. You've only come to the feeling. So come to a, keep, keep going, keep going. What else would you ask? Okay. So good. That's something you can ask. How could you ask it in a way that when you say, why do you think like that? Is there another way you can ask that question? You can help. All of you can help him. Help him. Help him. Come on. Sorry. Sorry. Thinking that she may get married and maybe keep she in a place of so insecure. Yeah. More than I don't feel insecure, but I feel anxious as to what she will do. So I really want to, you know, what, what I'd like to do is actually have a conversation with her, you know, to talk to her, but she doesn't give me a chance. So here I've given you something extra because you've actually really taken out my feelings. I'm telling, I'm giving you the next part of it. Right. I'm saying, actually, I want to talk to her, but I'm not able to, or, you know, she doesn't give me a chance. Right. Yeah. Why don't you help? Help him. Help him. Where are you? Which point? Okay. You can say, but you can move into the next thing. Like, even when you're saying, okay, you seem confused or you seem, you're anxious because you're not able to talk to her. Right. So try and ask questions that don't give you a yes or no answer. When you say, is your relationship with your daughter good? I may say yes. I may say no. Right. But they need to hear. Okay. That's, that's a good question. That's a good question. Yeah. So what, what has made, what is, what has it, what is difficult? What has been difficult that your daughter has not been able to reach out to you. Right. Good. So I'm going to ask you a question. What has been difficult that your daughter has not been able to reach out to you. Right. Good. So, so the thing is, you know, because of this, she knows I don't approve of this boy. See now I'm giving you another information. Right. She knows I don't approve of this boy. So she's refusing to talk to me because she fears that I will say no. So that's fun. I wish she used to talk. We have, we hold a very close relationship, but she knows I don't like this boy very much. And that's why she refuses to talk, to engage with me in conversation. Now remember what we said. You identified the problem, right? That I can't talk to my daughter. And what do I want? What may be the goal right here? What's the goal? I want to talk to her. That's the goal. Right. So I don't want the, the thing is, you don't have to solve my problem. You need to help me solve it. So what is the next question you need to, you need to help me personalize the problem. How are you going to help me personally? How? Yes. Right. What good. So either you can ask, what would you like to do to approach your daughter in a way that she will respond to you. Because that's what you want, right? Or you can say, you know, what, what, what would, what do you think is the contribution that you are bringing in that's, what's the contribution that you can bring in that will help your daughter relate to you. Okay. So in that way, you're making me think what can I do differently or a question to ask is, what have you tried this far? That's another question. So you know what all I have tried. Okay. So choose any of those questions. So I have told her that I have actually told her that I don't like this boy. I have actually told her. So that's one thing that I've done. I have reached out to my sister to talk to her to tell her that I don't approve. All right. Then I have also very clearly told her that that this is that, you know, we can't accept this. So these are things that I have already tried. I don't know. That's why I've come to you. So this is a very common question you common answer you will get. I don't know. That's why I came to you. So when someone says that never give up. The next thing to say, but what do you think? Or you can say, you can say, give it a moment to think. Take time to think. It's always never when they say, I don't know. Say, okay, now I have to think about an answer. You don't get them to because that's what you're trying them to do to generate a question. Right. Yeah. So you can say, take it. Give it a moment to think. Okay. Now I'm going to make it more difficult and say, no, I've tried everything. I don't know. One thing you can do then is to think about a time when you were able to reach your daughter when she was in a bad place. So what am I doing? I'm going back to some other situation which I've had difficulty with my daughter. How did I do that? All right. So what am I doing? I'm going back to some other situation and I'm trying to think about it. All right. So what am I doing? I'm trying. You're getting me to think about how I dealt with it in the past. Okay. So in that way, you're drawing from there to bring it to the situation. Okay. Go. Yeah. No, no, but you can ask me the question so that you, you know how to bring it back to the situation. So I said, no, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't think so. Yes. When she was in a bad place, yes, when she was in the 12th standard, she wanted to take science and it was a very difficult choice. I mean, sorry, she wanted to take commerce and it was a very difficult choice. And my husband and I are doctors so we also wanted her to take science, but at that point of time, she reached out and we were able to have a conversation. Yes. At that time I see that happened. Good. What helped that? So at that point of time, we were, we, you know, we had to also be a little bit patient and we, we heard her out. She came back with a list of things that she felt she needed, why she needed commerce and she was able to help us see what her likes and dislikes were. So, you know, we, we felt it may be better to just step back and but then she, you know, she was willing to have that conversation about why she felt commerce was better. So yeah, at that time, I see that was the time that we were able, even though it was a difficult time, we were able to make that conversation. Yes. So instead of saying, will the same thing happen, you need to reinforce for me and ask me what actually worked there then, you know, or what worked then and how can, so ask me that what worked then. So I may say, I was, I was, I think I was a little bit more open at that time. Right? So I said, I was open then. So, so you bring yourself. So how can that work here? What could you do here? How did you handle that situation? Very good. How did you handle that situation that you can learn from? Yeah. What would you like to try now? Good, good, good. Right. So then I may say, yeah, maybe I should, I should be more calmer and approach it a little bit more calmer. I think I'm very angry. So I don't approach it very calmly. So you've got a goal that I should approach this camera. You can, you follow up with how would being calmer look like? What would you do if you're calmer? What would you do differently if you were calmer? You got it? You got, got how you got the, the gist of it? Yeah. Yeah. To calm myself. What are things you would do differently to calm yourself? Right. So now I've come to think, I want to have a conversation with her. Right. So I've personalized the problem. I said, maybe I was not calm. So I need to be calm. So in order to be calm, I had to do these four or five things. And then I can have a conversation. The idea is not about, you know, that I should get her not to marry. That's, that is the problem. The idea is to bring her back to her problem and say, how am I contributing to this problem? That's what you did. Got it? Okay. All right. Shall we try one more? Now counsellor, counsellor, all, not me. I'm observer. Somebody else. You're the counsellor. Huh? Okay. Somebody from, from the online. Who's the counsellor? We have a Francis is the counsellor. Okay. Chira, you have been voted. Come on online students. You'll have to. You, you have to. Ravali. Ravali say someone said. Oh, on and so. Ravali. Okay. Nina. Ravali. Chira. These are the names that your friends have. Jack in. Okay. Any, anyone. Come on. There is a, there is always a. None of the online students are. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Jack in speaking. I can't hear. Jack in. Yeah. Can you hear me now? Yeah. Now we can hear you. Yeah. So Francis is your counsellor. Okay. And Jackie, you're the counsellor. So. The, all that you can do the similar thing. Identify what the problem is. And maybe come to a place of feelings. Okay. And then we'll take it from there. If it goes to personalizing, we will, we'll do that later. Okay. Go ahead. So I'm not able to hear Francis. Francis, can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you. Yeah. So. So you're the counsellor. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. But only need some technical glitches are happening. One minute. Hello. Can you speak? Yeah. Can you hear me? Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. So as a second, I came for a, I want to talk with you regarding a normal issue. Yes. So I am very disappointed with that issue. I don't know how to explore. I don't know how to explain to you, but I'm very stressful because of an issue. Maybe it's an anger sometime. Maybe it's a frustration. Maybe it's a kind of addiction. And I don't know actually what, which situation I'm going through. Okay. So I see that you're facing some challenges. Sorry. Can you come again? I think you're facing having few challenges because of whatever you said your anger or frustration in facing some challenges. Yeah. It's challenging. Okay. So. Hello. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'll put down the camera. I think I'm here very much, but I don't know. I'm just thinking. So I understand that you're feeling frustrated, disappointed because of these things. So what is it that you would like between? What is one thing that you would like to see a change or something from this situation? How do you see yourself? Yeah, I want to come out from the problems which I am going through. But sometime what I'm doing is I only go into the problems. So what I understand from you is like you are, you are getting into the situation yourself. Is that what you mean? I'm going to the situation. You're going through a situation. I'm not going through. I'm going to the situation. So what I understand is you're getting into the situation yourself. Yes. Yes. So is there something that you would like to change about this thing that Yes. That is a frustration. When I am changing next time, I'm going again to that same problem. Yeah. Understand that. Okay. So I'm not able to hear. Can you hear me checking? I'm muted here. Okay. So Jack in what is happening here is that he is beating around the bush. Right. He's not telling you what exactly is going on. Is that true? Because you're not getting the grip of what the problem is. Yeah. Yeah. And this can happen because councillors are very, very worried of what they share with you. Hello. When you're beginning to feel that you're not able to get to the root or get to what exactly is the problem. You can actually say, you know, I'm attempting, I'm trying to understand. However, I'm really not able to pick up exactly what you're saying. Would you give me an example? All right. Because he's saying and get, he's talking about the problem. So it's a very general thing he's talking about. So you need to get into to really identify what he's saying. All that you've got right now is there is a problem. He's getting into the problem. He himself is into the problem and he's choosing to be that's all that you have. Right. And that it's frustrating for him. But for you to really build on one thing you can do is, you know, come in saying, you know, I, so you're being genuine and saying, you know, I'm trying to understand. However, I'm not able to really pick up exactly. Would you give me an example? Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. So from what I understand from our conversation, would you like to give me an example of the situation you're in, Francis? I will give you an example which I went through. I am on what happened is I'm sitting silently. One person came to me and he said to me one word, which I don't like. He said to me, you learn about yourself, then you teach me. But suddenly I got angry and I punch him. I punch him. The blood came from his nose. But after that, I regret about that way I did that. I don't want to get into that. He's my brother. This is my situation. And I'm frustrated about the way I did that mistake. Yeah. So this must be really frustrating because you really don't want to do it. But you ended up in that situation. The time I want to do, before and after I don't want to do, the time when I did, I want to do. That is my problem. Yes. Yes. So how do you see yourself being changed like a different person? Like what do you see? I want to become a calm person. I don't want to be suddenly, you can call in your language, maybe short number. Okay. Okay. So now you've realized. Jack in. Now when Francis is telling you something he wants, I know we have not learned these skills, but one of the things you can do is paraphrase what he's saying. Like, so he said, he gave you an example, right? Yes. So, so from the example, you really want to clarify whether you heard what he said was right. So he said, so I may say something like, so Francis, you said, when you're angry or when you are short tempered, you respond or you react a certain way, and later you regret that or something to that effect because you want to clarify whether you've heard it right. So that's what the second that he said is, I want to become. So he said, oh, that's, that's wonderful, Francis. What I hear is you don't want to be short tempered anymore. You really want to feel calmer in that situation. So you're actually reiterating a certain goal back to him. Okay. Go ahead. So it's, it's really wonderful, Francis, that you're willing to change and you've realized and come to that point. So, what do you think that you would like to do to see yourself changed one thing? So what, what would you like to do to initiate or see yourself changed? Any one thing to see yourself in a better position? I should not get angry if anybody's coming to kill me also. I want to change like that position. Okay, Jackie. So what he said is I don't want to be angry. He didn't tell you what he wants. He told you what he doesn't want. Right. So what do you do? Great. You told me what you don't want. Would you tell me what you want? You need to build what is it on the want? What does he want? Okay. Now, after he tells you what he wants, you need to build on what that is. So he may say, yeah, I want to be calm or I want to be, I want to be. I want to have peace. Okay. Now, this is a very broad goal. I want to, what does that mean? So he needs to build on. I said, okay, if you want to have peace, tell me one or two things of how peace looks like. How does peace practically look like to you? So that's how you build on getting him to understand that this is what he wants to do. Okay. Yeah. So go back to, I don't want, I don't want to be angry. So start from there. Yeah. Okay. So Francis, so what would you like to do? Because I understand clearly what you don't want to do. You don't want to get angry. So what would you like to do, Francis? When I get angry, nobody can control me. There is no problem. So what you would like to do in sense like right now, I can't like, I won't get angry. But in case some situation comes, then I don't know what to do. That time I get angry. Even I don't have control on me. I don't know how. Like that is my answer. So he's gone back to the problem again. Okay. He's again said, I don't want to be angry. He's saying the same thing again. Right. So you may have to reframe your question. So the question I may ask is Francis, you said you don't want to be angry. What would you like to be instead of being angry? So since you mentioned that you don't want to be angry, even in such situations. So what would you like to do instead of being angry? If it is a man, I would like to hug him and say sorry to him. If it is a girl, I will hold my hand. Sorry. But I should come to that position. Most of the times I won't come to that position. Easily I will give that person and I will leave. Okay. So Deakin now, he has given, he has actually said something. Right. He said, if it is a man, I will hug him. If it is a lady, I will go and apologize something. He said that. Right. Now he's come up with a solution. Isn't it? So what do you do here? You appreciate that. You say, you know, you can say, you know, you know, that's wonderful. You came up with, with an understanding of how you want to do that. Right. So you're, you're encouraging the fact that he's come there. But he also said at that point, I don't, I won't get an idea to do that. So that's his next problem. Yes. Okay. So now begin to explore how would he, how would he come to that stage if he could come to that stage, what would happen or how would it look like? What would he imagine? Now this is all imagination. Right. So, so you're again building that goal much further. Go ahead. So that is really wonderful and great about you, Francis, that you have come to this idea of, you know, being friends. But what I want to ask you is in that situation, what would you think differently? What would you want to do differently? Okay. So this is where you figure out what is he thinking at that time? Now what happened, right? The doing he can't do. Now there is thinking. He said, I just want to think how I can kill him. What did you say? How I can destroy him. So is this an issue with the thought? Yes. Right. Now that is what needs to be. Remember we said you are looking at the first belief. So, so maybe what you can do is in, okay, Francis, in the situation when someone is facing you or when you are going through a situation, what are some of the thoughts that you have? Begin with, begin with that. So disputing the. Yeah. So first identify the thought and then coming to figure out how he can dispute the thought. Yeah, go ahead. He'll take another three, four minutes to finish this. Yeah. So if you could think of. So Jack in, you can bring about that saying that, okay, Francis, I heard you say that, you know, whenever you're in a situation like this, you, your thought is that you can destroy them. Is that so? Okay. And then say, if that part could change, or if you were able to change the thought into something that is more calmer, more peaceful, like what you want, what would it be? So, Francis, that when you see that person, you wanted to destroy that person. Instead of that thought, what would you think differently in that situation? When that thought arises? Particularly when the situation is coming because of talking, talking more. From my side, if you want some more talking from my side, it will go only actions. So it's dependent upon that person, how he's talking with me. She didn't understand your question. No, I have to. So you may need to repeat till he understands your question. He didn't understand your question. Yeah. Right. So you may need to repeat that. Yeah. So from what I heard, Francis, so you, when you see that person, you feel like destroying that person immediately. So that is your thought process from what I understand. Is that right? Yes. So in that thought process, when you see that person, what would you like to change your thinking to? If it would be a constructive thing. It's actually dependent upon the situation, each situation, each things I thought. Like recently I share an example to you that is a very terrible situation to him and me. We both got equally. But somehow then became a war fight and all. Only one thing is from their side also I need peace. It will be from my side also it will be peace. From their side voice is raising from my side also voice is raising. Yeah. So is there something different that you did previously not to get into such a situation? No, I never went being like that. Really in my school time maybe some teachers will come and punishment. That's all. And my grown up and all nobody will come and say, nobody can handle me. That kind of situation. So Jackie, he still didn't answer your question. Yeah. Right? And that's what happens. Sometimes they either they don't understand or they avoid the question and they go back to the same problem again and again. So one sec. So, you know, it is to continue to persist. Okay. So one sec. So, so I heard what you said. I'd like to know you said in this situation, I know that there are other situations that may be very different. But in this situation, you said you want to destroy the person. If there was another thought you could think of, which would make you feel calmer, what would that thought be? What do you want to do? Will that make you calmer? So if you think that let him do what he wants to do, it will make you calmer? You will keep silent. Okay. So one thought is let him do what he wants to do. Okay. Okay. What could be another thought? So I'm building more thoughts. He said one. Right. So I'm building more thoughts. Okay. If, if you could think of it in a, in a way that will help you be calmer, not him. You don't have control about what he does. If you wanted to be calm, what would you think of differently rather than destroying him? You said I want to destroy him. If you had a peaceful thought, if you had a, if you had a compassionate thought, what would that thought be? Okay. So when you're doing that, what are you thinking in your mind? When you're doing that, when you're getting up from your place and going, what are you doing? What are you thinking? Okay. So what are you thinking? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Francis, I'm coming back because that was not very clear to me. I asked you if you had a calmer thought at that time, you said you will walk away. You will get out. Right. So when you are getting out, what would you be thinking that will help you to get out of that room at that time? What would you be thinking at that time? What are you saying to yourself as you're getting out of the room? Yeah. So in this situation, when you have got out, what would you be thinking? So I'm asking you to imagine, I know it went a different way. I'm asking you to imagine if when you walk out and when you're getting angry, what are you telling yourself that will help you walk out? So you're telling when you're getting angry, you're saying, I'm a child of God. I'm representing God. I think that's what you said. You are the ambassador of Christ. What would it make you feel when you're thinking about that? What would you be feeling when you think of that? What would you be feeling when you think that you are a child of God? You're an ambassador of God and you're walking out and not being angry. What will you be feeling? What will you be feeling? I feel like Jesus took your pain. So if Jesus took your pain, what would you want to do? Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. Okay. So the next time you come with someone, someone comes like this to you. Is this something that you can think about? You just said you will think about it. So what you're telling me is that if you were able to do it differently, you would do this. That's what you're saying. I know you've never done it, but you're saying if you were able to do it differently, you would do this, isn't it? Right. So I'm saying next time when someone comes to you, is this something you can try? Yeah. Would you feel calmer and not get into a fight at that point of time? Okay. So we've come to that part. But you see how you may need to stick to something till you get them to answer. Don't get derailed because sometimes they're also not in that place. Excellent. Great job, Jack in. Thank you. Thank you, Francis. All right. Good going question. Okay. We'll, we'll cut the call and then we'll. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you everybody for joining in. We'll keep having more of this. So all of us have to pitch in all of us have to keep learning. God bless. Thank you very much.