 When was the first time that you registered yourself as a sexual person? Probably like mid-20s. I've never considered myself a sexual being. I remember this time in, I want to say, third grade. And then like from then on, I was like obsessed with sex. Like I was trying to find it everywhere. What up, lovers and friends? This video is sponsored by Vegicated, the Netflix of Sexual Wellness. It's an online course platform that helps you to level up your love life and upgrade your love making skills. Something that all of us, regardless of experience level, can benefit from. When did you first start masturbating? Um, 2001, to be exact. Is that real? That's very accurate. I can't remember the moment actually. Dr. Dre had an album, I forget the name, but I see the cover. And there was a track, it was just interlude, and this girl was having an orgasm there having sex, and I wouldn't masturbate to that sound. 2001, how old were you then? 14. Can we give a little shout out to my math? I just got an A in statistics. Yeah, do for you. That was quick. Thanks. All right, thank you. This is so embarrassing to talk about. This is so bad. But again, I was out of sleep over, and I remember my friends speaking about masturbation. Like he was like, do you guys masturbate? And I didn't know what it was. I was like, what is that? What is that is? And he's like, it's when you rub your dick until it just can't rub it no more. And I was like, huh. So later that night, I went into the restroom and I tried. Did you report back to your friend? I was like, it hurt. And he was like, that means you did it right. Really? Yeah, and I was like, okay. And maybe. 14, maybe. I actually called my friend and told him. I was like, bro, I did it. I was very excited because he used to talk about masturbating all the time. I didn't understand it. And then I pulled it off. Well, not literally. Yeah, I would hope not. Figuratively, I pulled it off. And I was very, I was like very, I remember being excited, surprised because I didn't have a brand new feeling. I've never experienced anything like that. Trying to see what that feels like. So. Are you not loving this conversation? I promise we're going right back into it. But first, a message from the sponsor of this video, Begecated. We are here to tell you about Begecated. It is the Netflix of Sexual Wellness as an online course platform that gives people the literal tools to level up their love-making step by step. And we have been taking these courses together. And I just gots to say. The sex got kinkier. The sex got kinkier. It got friskier. It got wetter. It got better. Which I think is important for people to know that even as people who study sex, we are still learning techniques. There were techniques that I learned through Begecated that I literally had never even thought of before. So whether you are single or partner, they have courses for you. We specifically went to the couple section and they have over 53 courses for couples alone. Everything from kinky sex, tontric massage, oral sex. All of it. How to squirt. All of it. How to give better handjobs. How to give better handjobs. We love Begecated and we love this partnership. And what we love it so much is they are offering an incredible deal that everyone can benefit from. And we're all about inclusivity. So no matter what day you are watching this on, if you click that link, you will get one day, 24 hours free access to all of Begecated's content and courses. So take advantage of it. Go learn something new. And try something new. Better sex. Better life. Oh, but wait babe, there's more. You're also going to get 70% off the cost of a yearly pass for Begecated which means you're only going to be paying $7.99 per month for an incredible catalog of how to level up your love making skills. But wait, you didn't tell them the best part. I just didn't. I told them the same person. No, no, it's not the best part because this deal that we're offering right now is locked in forever. That means forever. Not just this year. Every year that you use Begecated, you are going to get that discount forever. Hit the link in my description and get 24 hour full access to Begecated plus access to the 70% off forever discount. Click that link. Click that link. Click that link. Click that link. Click that link. As you know by now, in this video I interview three men about their sex lives which you might not know is these three men are the hosts of Enjoy the Podcast. And if you want to see more of them you can go over to Jared's YouTube channel or just keep watching this video. I remember I had a roommate in New York and so at the time I would have been 21, 22 and he asked me just in conversation do you masturbate? And I was like, no, no. Totally lying. And I remember thinking why can't I be honest about this? Everyone does it but it was a shame feeling. It's that taboo for me. The men just got better as I did it more and I was actually not shooting blanks and stuff like that. Then became an issue when I was just jerking it every free moment that I had. Parents are going to go, go time. So yeah, that was probably about like 17. Oh God, man. I was a horny little thing at that age. I was humping everything. Sleeping bags, pillows, nothing was safe. I have never really had a crazy sex drive. It's always been something that I wanted but didn't need. But on the contrary maybe because the masturbation was there so I was like, I can just do what I need to do. I don't need someone. And I'm great at it. And I'm really good at it. I know what we like. More so and quicker than you would. But yeah, so I never really had like a high sex drive. I remember girls I would date would be like, is it me? And I'm like, no, no, I'm just like, I'm tired. And I really feel like, you know. But yeah, so it never like, there wasn't like a four or five year span or whatever time frame span of like, I was out here like a dog humping anything that would freak, you know, wasn't like that. From like 13 to probably 20. It's this nonstop drive to come. And you're going to do it at any time, any place, you know, you're gonna get it, get off. You know, especially if you become like alone, if everyone leaves the house, it's almost a guarantee. It's almost a guarantee. So everybody who out there who has sons that is from the ages of 13 to 18 know that when you leave the house and he's alone, he's in there with the jargons. I think it's such a fascinating thing and something I always want to lean into whenever I talk to teens about sex. Because I think they have to understand what that insatiable, especially people with vulva is like, they may not relate to that insatiable desire to ejaculate. What is it like inside of the penis during these periods? It's kind of like being hungry, where it's like the only thing that you can think about is just, I need to eat something. And there's just like even like the physical feeling to like eat. You have the same like physical feeling to just like ejaculate, you know, get the grind motion, whatever it may be. You just as a young man, you're just like, I gotta, I gotta come. I think it really falls on like being educated on what's going on in your body. You know, I mean, I don't think most young boys are taught that this is what's happening. Yes, you're taught that puberty is going to happen and you're taught like you're going to grow facial hair and all these things. But I don't think it's really talk to them like, hey, just so you know, you're going to be wanting to have sex extremely, extremely, extremely strong. It's going to pull you to do some crazy things. Always keep it in check. You know, it's kind of like the thing that like you have a conversation with someone who's going to do drugs. Like, hey, don't jump off this building. You're on drugs. You know what I mean? So it's just like kind of like, hey, don't do this. You're just going through puberty. You know, you know, a thing that we were doing as kids when we go to sleepovers is like, you know, it was just in the same time when computers started and the internet started going crazy. And so we would go over to like a friend's house and watch porn or people would look it up. And I remember when I first saw porn, it was like disgusting. Like I was like, what is this? This is too much. You know, go back to like the movies when they're just dry humping. Like that used to get me hard. But when he would show me porn and it was so explicit and so aggressive that I was like, this is crazy. And it felt bad to watch. But then as I got older, like I started to need to see that to get excited. What was your sex education then growing up? Figured out on your own. It was figured out on your own. I didn't have a dad growing up. I had a stepdad who he exited my life our life. My mom and I, when I was 15, 16. So I think like we would have had that talk had he stayed a little bit longer. I think he thought he had more time but I lost my virginity actually on my 15th birthday. So yeah, but it was very figured out. I didn't have like an older male figure that I felt comfortable with in talking about sex and I damn sure wasn't comfortable with my mom or my sister who would help raise me. I was taught how to have a baby and not have a baby. And you know, like even growing up in my household like it was like don't don't even have sex. Condoms don't work. How do you think you got here? That was like the thought. So I didn't even trust condoms to be safe. Like I thought that like someone's going to swim through it. Because you did condom plus pullout method. Yeah, well all my entire time having sex. Yeah, no, I lost my virginity at 18 and I knew I wanted to do it again but I just didn't really know like how to make it happen. I mean like I knew what you know I'd seen on TV and all that but I didn't I didn't feel confident for one. And then I just didn't feel I guess I just didn't feel informed as to like how to go about getting what I want. Like my education all came from like seeing my homeboy. Which was be worse education how to court a woman. And so yeah, I ended up just kind of playing the sidelines until I got probably to my mid 20s. But I also didn't feel very attractive until then either. So kind of the older I got the more I came into myself the more I became sexually aware and more sexually active. I was a relationship guy back then. So it was like you know not that it wasn't quantity for sure as far as sexual partners but I just remember thinking like it happens this way and when you're done you're done and then you move on. Like again there was no experimenting. There was no I didn't have a feeling of like a safe space to explore more. Craved it because when watching porn I'd be like oh I want to try that but I don't know if they're you know and I would talk myself out of it. I wouldn't even bring it up to them in conversation. Because I didn't want them to think like I like them over you right or like you can't do this but I'm still going to pleasure myself off of that and it's unfair to you. So all these again just confusing for lack of a better word. I was just aimlessly going with whatever flow. Listen to the whole. I would never miss. I mean side note perfect segue. I then became a father. Actually at the end of that five year term I became a father at 20. Arguably you know might not be a father at 20 or would have been a father at 20 if I had some type of influence in my life or just better education. I don't know. I mean I'm grateful for my daughter of course but I've often wondered like if I grew up with a dad or just even my stepdad if he didn't leave right or just a better education system where I felt comfortable to express myself and be honest I don't know if I'd be a father at 20. I doubt I would be a father at 20. So does that mean you never had conversations around sexual health nobody ever bought you a box of condom? No definitely not. Do they do? No definitely not. Am I making an incorrect assumption to say that when you started sexually engaging with people? That was all you cared about? Oh for sure. Yeah because for one I felt like I was making up for lost time in one way. I've been wasting all these years not doing this. Let me hurry up and see what I can do. So yeah no I didn't care. I was just about you know on to the next one not just on to that post. Early 20s was cool. Like I had a partner we were having sex. I don't know how focused I was on her pleasure per se. I liked when she had pleasure but I wasn't trying to learn new tricks. I wasn't trying to you know learn off of her. And I think in that relationship it was because I felt that security of being in the relationship that I was like if she had a problem she would tell me which is not always the case. You know sometimes it's embarrassing to tell your partner hey you're doing this pretty shit. Yeah. Figure it out you know. So I guess it's like I was having sex and I felt like I knew what I was doing but when I look back at it I don't think I did. If you were to think back on the partners that you've had and you know in your 20s especially do you think that they had great sex with you? Probably not. Yeah I mean again it was like consistently. I don't know. Any of y'all out there that had sex with me before the age of 33. I'm sorry. I apologize. I know the sex wasn't good. Maybe you enjoyed it. Probably not. Me understand like I thought I was prioritizing their pleasure at that time but in reality I didn't even know what that looked like. There's so many more I guess this is my point is that what I understand about the female anatomy right now is light years away of what I did right. And so I didn't if I cared about their pleasure I would have been looking this stuff up on YouTube but I'm leaning on them to teach me what they like right. And so and a lot of times in those younger relationships I don't think that she or they were ever comfortable telling me exactly what they like. I think that they would just like react if I did something that they're like and then I would just keep doing that thing but I feel like in this relationship it's more or less like I'm always constantly learning new things. I mean how many times do we have sex and you're like did you try something new? Yes. You know what I mean? And it's because of that like that to me is seeking you know female pleasure or putting their prioritizing their pleasure because it's like there's so many different ways to pleasure a woman. And I didn't understand that. I thought there was like only a couple ways and that was it. Can you compare and contrast sex in your mid 20s to now in your mid 30s? Oh it's way better now because it's actually because I actually want my goal one of my goals is for her to orgasm before I do because I already know once I orgasm I'm useless to like 15 minutes. So it gets you taken care of I really and not just because I want to get you out of the way but I actually enjoy a woman and you know having pleasure when she's having sex with me as you should because that's the whole point. It's the two of you. It's not just the one of you. And I think that realization just made it way more enjoyable for me because it's kind of like giving a Christmas gift when you give somebody a nice gift and they react we were like oh my god this is amazing. It is nice. So it's kind of like you know I'm giving you a great gift and at the same time I know I'm going to get a great gift as well so everybody's happy. It's a good Christmas. So now how would you describe sex in your 20s? Again still with desires without clarity and how to explore these desires. Very vague so you can unpack that if you'd like but yeah. Does that mean you were having boring sex? Yeah yeah like layman's terms dumb down version. Yeah very basic back to that word basic sex. And then when I got out of that relationship is when I think I started focusing on female pleasure more I felt like I was really just focused on learning at that time and wanting to be good and wanting my reputation to be good. So I didn't hesitate to be like what can I do better or how do I learn from this. And then I think right after that we met. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah I'm your early 20s. You were in that time where I was trying to learn. Because I met you at 24. Yeah. Which is fascinating because I told you this at the time. I always got the question of how did you find somebody who wasn't intimidated or aren't people very intimidated. And I immediately knew with you that that was not the case. And then later on you divulged to me that you were your interest was piqued by what I did for a living. It wasn't a turn off for you. No not at all you know not at all. And I think I was going through a very promiscuous time at the time. So I think the fact that you were a sexual educator it was like this is going to sound bad. But I think I came into it being like oh I'm about to learn some shit so that when I have sex with other people I'm going to put it down. You know that was like kind of my mindset. I am capable of having like emotion like emotionally detached sex. Right. Like I can just have sex and then not be anything but sex. But I also do enjoy like when I have a connection with somebody it doesn't even necessarily have to be somebody I'm dating it just could be somebody that I really well with. And so an actual true friend would benefit in such a situation. Can we model a dialogue that you would have. So I think you're very attractive. I mean we obviously have a crazy vibe together right. Yeah. But I am seeing somebody right now however I don't know if you're seeing somebody. I am seeing somebody. Romantically. No sexually. You have sex with other people. I do. Okay. That said I would be interested in saying you know you'd like to go out and have a drink or something and see if you'd like to have sex with me as well. And it's something that you're interested in we can figure out you know how you feel about the other partners and all that but otherwise yeah that's pretty much it. Well are you looking to get into a relationship at this time because I'm open to that. It's not something I'm necessarily looking for. Probably not. Should I try to be as awesome as I can to prove you wrong. That would not be a good idea. Okay. I would not want you I would say if we end up in a relationship they just happen organically but don't go out of your way trying to prove anything to me because I don't want you to set yourself up to be disappointed by me not reciprocating the energy that you're putting out. Relationship with sexual health. Getting tested and. Oh yeah. What about it how often or. Yeah what was your relationship with it. Oh yeah yeah. Again just that no educational piece to it. I was pretty good at protecting myself. With a condom but even oral you know I wouldn't so I had a girl that I was dating I think it was the girl before my daughter's mom and she was the first one ever asked me like have you ever been tested before and I was like no because I was thinking you it's like I never went to the dentist since I had a cavity that was just me so I wouldn't get a std check or any type of sexual check. I've never heard that analogy before it's a really good analogy. Unless I had something wrong with me but they were like no no to prevent you want to prevent not chase. And then asymptomatic. Right so I was like oh okay well where do I go I didn't know what to do you know I'm like 18 I think at the time so and then from then on again relationship guy but when I would step out of my relationship selfishly I wasn't careful often you know so definitely got tested enough I guess I'll use that word yeah. Because you have multiple partners and enjoy multiple partners tell me about your relationship with sexual health. Um I use condoms 99% of the time there are times when I don't but in those instances it's usually with somebody who oh that was a mosquito. I hope so. It's usually with somebody who um I've had that discussion with and that we have both been made aware of each other's like testing status and that type of thing um there have been times where I have slipped up in the past and I did not wear condom and by the grace of God I have been fortunate enough not to have contracted anything or depending on how you look at it had a kid because I'm not ready for one yet. Well I was going to ask you something first. Okay. Can you role play with me how to make the sexual health conversation sexy. Okay yeah for sure. All right hi Lose. Hey Shan how you doing? I'm really horny. I am too what do you know. What do you like in the bedroom? I like to get ahead. I like to get a little bit ahead. Oh. Booty maybe. Me too. I like skin to skin contact. Yes that's a huge priority of mine I want to just feel free in the moment to me the best sex happens when it's off script and to do that I really make sure that I get tested before so that I can feel completely in the moment because you know sometimes you don't actually know someone's status and you can actually really like get in there how you want to get in there so I know what my status is and I get tested regularly do you? I haven't had one recently but let's let's go get a test. Let's go get a test and that's how you do it kids the more you know. I was like super extremely focused on sexual health and I think that only had to do with my fear with sex and so I had this fear that like God was gonna strike me with the baby or strike me with the with an illness because I was going against his back so I was getting tested often I you know always strapped up with every sexual experience that I had and it was like a huge focus on me. I don't think it was a huge focus on me to protect myself per se but it was a huge focus on me being like you're not gonna catch me slipping God like you know what I mean but I guess in turn it was a good thing. Which is interesting because you're one of the first people I've met before who's never had a genuine pregnancy scare. No. Best orgasm ever if you're willing to share the conditions but I also recognize that you've shared more than you probably have ever shared before so I would leave that up to you. I don't think I can pinpoint one specific moment but I will say my favorite time to orgasm is um at the same time as my partner but where there's just that level of like I feel like I'm tethered like remember the movie Avatar when they like tether their tails that's what I'm talking about like when that orgasm comes at the same time we're tethered I'm just like oh so yeah. Relationship guy. Like that? Oh my great answer. Great answer. Best orgasm. It was slightly fueled by some mushrooms. I think how to achieve my best orgasm is I have to be edged and it has to be slow. It can't be like pound pound pound come you know what I mean it has to be like a slow build-up that's very very slow and then almost like right before I come out to stop like don't move anything and let it like spaz on its own. Oh really? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. For people who are watching this and who are looking for tips because you have experience with as one keeps mentioning multiple ladies um so they want to make- I'm not that- hold on let's also just- I'm not still I don't currently get down like I used to. Okay but- It's not like I'm still- You've acquired- I have made my rounds in my days. So I would say that you could probably say hey here's some do's and here are some don'ts. Sure yes. Don't use teeth. Number one unless you know that person likes teeth. Teeth are out. Teeth are chopped. Okay not to move. Do use a lot of spit so that's- All over. Do you want to be spat in your mouth? No no no this one when performing oral um don't be afraid to ask for what you want you might get it. I think if you come into every sexual experience with a new partner thinking I am maybe good at sex but I'm not good at sex with you just yet. I think going into it with your complete authentic self is going to make the experience better so you might be in positions that you've never seen before or that you've never experienced but you're just kind of in the flow of what you guys are doing um and it's sometimes it may be goofy and sometimes it may be awkward but the times that it is great it's going to be far greater than it's awkward. Feed your curiosity in a safe way um don't just go out and sleep with everyone unprotected but just feed your curiosity whether it's with porn whether it's with a partner whether it's with the same sex like whatever it is um feed your curiosity because you don't know unless you try um what may not be for one person may be for another because that was a fear of mine too is like what if she doesn't like this it's like well okay well maybe the other person would right or future partner um and then last but not least don't suppress whatever desire you have you could think you're the craziest freak um or approve whatever um but don't suppress it because it will come out in a way that may not be controllable down the road aka you may cheat um and try to feed that fantasy that you may have been able to experiment with your partner. This was a pleasure. It's always a pleasure when I'm around you. Thank you. I appreciate you. This hug's going on for a really long time. Thanks for having me on. I appreciate it. You want to do one too? I'm not there yet. Okay. Okay. Will you do a trust call with me? True. You're not going to catch me. I will, but I'm going to trust you. Wow, Jared. Big ups to the gentlemen of enjoy the podcast who I adore with all my heart and if you also enjoy this kind of content go over to Jared's YouTube channel and see more of them. I put a link in the info box. Another link in the info box, which you will see is a link to be educated, which I genuinely hope that you click because one that shows them that my audience loves this kind of content and I really do love this kind of partnership. But two, if you love free then this is for you. You get 24 hours of educated courses, the sex education that you wish you had for absolute free because they are that confident that after being exposed what they have to offer, you're going to want to come back for more. So went on to the info box. Like I said, click a couple links and then also while you're going down visit the comment section and let me know what's one thing that you wish you learned in sex education.