 It can seem to be a little more subtle to think of autonomy as specialness. I mean, most times, codependency is obviously specialness. But autonomy, there's a part, there's a line in the Course in Miracles where Jesus says, your autonomy is the autonomy of creation. So he's like lifting autonomy, the word, from everything that we consider what we know about autonomy is in this world and just equating it with creation. I guess the only way you could make any sense of it or get any kind of feel for it is that God creates and creation is extension and then in the extension the creative ability is extended as well. So who you are as a spiritual being involves creation and creativity. Creativity and creation that you receive from God and that you extend and create yourself, not in form but you create as a perfect being and then the Course refers to creations that we have creations. They're spiritual creations. So it's like in a line of creativity, spirit creates, spirit creates, spirit. Just like in the Bible, the Old Testament was the begat in terms of families, begat, begat, begat. Create, create, create. And that's what Jesus calls true autonomy. But what goes for autonomy in this world is independence. And it's still the personal self seeming to have a will of its own to be independent to not need anything or anyone. And it's epitomized in the Frank Sinatra song, My Way. That's an autonomy song. Yes, there were times I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all, when there was death, I ate it up and spit it out. I mean, it's really kind of this false sense of autonomy and it's rare that that is seen as a specialist. But what we were talking about in the small group, Noel and I were talking, is that how you get to a certain point in spirituality where you start to realize this, this I am, this is so vast and it's not personal. And so even when you follow the path to become self-reliant, like I will not rely on anybody else. I will rely on myself. This self is the smaller self. It's taking care of oneself. And this is just a sense of pride, really. It's just another form of the self-concept that has I with it as a person or a personality. So I think I forget how you were talking about it today. You were talking about it trying to do this. I am this with a vertical sense, but still a very personal sense. To the I am-ness, are there any qualities that can be associated with it? What I'm getting at is in my experience of some kind of temporary waking up, there was wonderment, curiosity, joy. I mean, those I consider qualities. And is that still in the ego realm? I mean, it seems like it would be. I mean, is it just, does spirit have, I mean, qualities implies there's an individual to have the qualities, I guess. Is there any of that going on? Well, I think you could say that the realm of the I am-ness, you could say that there's qualities like a sense of eternity. That sense of wonderment is a sense of really openness, but not knowing anything about anything. And that's the quality of this presence. The curiosity is something that I think is like an opening kind of state of mind towards something much more profound. So in the actual state of being-ness there's no sense of curiosity, because curiosity implies a bit of a question. But it's actually more of a helpful step in the sense that there's a curiosity and an openness of not thinking that something's already known and willingness to be shown that's part of the curiosity. So I think that's more of one of those lead-in kind of states of mind, not the actual state of mind. A sense of contentment, peace, you know, talking about joy. Childlike quality is what I experienced. A giant baby. And when you find that childlike quality of children are very much dependent on their parents for everything. They don't have that sense of autonomy we were just talking about. That starts to develop, that's the ego developing, and I can take care of myself. I can tie my own shoes, I don't need to hold a hand, I don't need training wheels for the bike anymore. Childlike quality is, yeah, when Jesus said, except you become as little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven, he was talking about that sense of dependence on a parent or a source, not so much an earth parent or dependent on the form, but dependent on the spirit for everything. And that's what washes away, that's the very thing that washes away that sense of autonomy. That I can do it on my own, I don't need anybody else's help. So it's like a meter, if one side of the meter was this kind of codependent sense of, you know, I need you, I need you, I need you in a personal sense, and the other side is I don't need anybody. I can do it all on my own. Neither of those are the state that is really given by God. It's more kind of in the middle, the middle road there, which is a state of trust and of being taken care of completely. And so that's where it takes a lot of lessons to be washed free of that sense of autonomy. Because as long as there's any sense of autonomous control, then there will still be a bit of defensiveness, a bit of harshness, a bit of control coming in there. Because it's not your final resting place, you know, as far as mind. It's still a bit of push and pull that goes on with that. And there's many, many praises for being autonomous in this world, depending on the culture. I mean certain cultures, you know, don't value it as much, but many, we'll say western cultures value that sense of autonomy. Your own making the living for yourself, saving money, spending money, personal development, you know, it's like a strong sense that you can actually be somebody. And through that you can be somebody or something that's important. I remember watching, when I was watching the Star Trek episodes and everything, when I was watching, they were putting out the Star Trek movies, and they had one with Patrick Stewart there. And it came out when it was, you know, the enemy had shifted from the Klingons to the different enemies and this and this, but then came the Borg. Borg were like the collective that were assimilating the individuals. So it was like, that was a Star Trek movie playing out this individual versus the collective. And then we could say, if you go much deeper, you start to see that the individual is an illusion and the collective is an illusion. So it's like Jesus said, truth does not fight against illusion, nor do illusions fight against the truth. Illusions battle only with themselves. And from that definition you would see that that sense of individuality and autonomy will have to be given up just as much as this idea of a collective group identity. And in the end that's where, you know, when people have a little bit of hesitation and trepidation around spiritual communities, the uneasiness that's playing out inside is still this individual versus the group. Oh, if I merge with this spiritual community then what individual rights will I have? And what are the group principles and what are the group rules and what are the group values? And there's always going to be a little bit of trepidation about this because they're both illusions, the individual and the collective. There really are no such thing as individual rights and there are no such thing as group values. Those are just constructs, more constructs in the mind that have to be completely released. As you're emptying the mind of everything, it literally means everything including this concept around groups. So, you know, in one sense you could just say that any experience that you have wherever you go is just an opportunity to free the mind from these limiting concepts. And the only concept that is not limiting is forgiveness. We'll say that's the top of the line. When you can reach that concept, that's the concept that you can embrace because it is shared with you by the Holy Spirit. It's the only concept that can be shared and is meant to be shared. Forgiveness was a shared concept. Every other concept was meant to be possessed and protected. Every other concept also has a sense of uniqueness with it or a sense of specialness or a sense of specific. Whereas forgiveness is like a giant blanket that just covers the mind with peace. And that's why it's shared. It's a shared experience of peace. And it will make way for that which is beyond concepts. But as long as we're going through this mind training, we should know that that's the curriculum is attaining or embracing that concept, that whole inclusive concept. And it's a God dependency that literally you might say, So it's going beyond the do I believe in God or not believe in God. But if you're coming into an experience, it's very, very loving. And you feel very, very, very taken care of. And it's like, wow, to be able to relax. And I think there's a quality of that even in childhood that we've enjoyed being taken care of. But there was a dependency in the sense of the form with the physical metaphor only goes so far. Taking care of, taking care of, and then whatever the parents are killed in an automobile crash. And then it turns into a tragedy instead of everything being perfectly cared for. But with God, there's no sense of a threat that something could go wrong. And it's during the break, that's something that Noel and I were talking about. It's like this feeling of a dependency in something that's so sure, so certain, so strong that it's risk free. That there's no risk that could enter into it.