 Lux presents Hollywood leave your brother's company the makers of Lux toilet soap bring you the Lux Radio Theatre starring Bing Crosby and Anne Blythe in The Emperor Wolves. Ladies and gentlemen your producer Mr. William Keely. Greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen. Undoubtedly the outstanding personality in the entertainment world today is our star tonight Bing Crosby first in song first on the screen and first in the hearts of his fellow Americans. Bing is here to bring you one of his greatest paramount hits The Emperor Wolves. With Bing we present the lovely Anne Blythe as his co-star in this lively romantic story of Old Vienna. It's pure entertainment from the moment the American traveling salesman meets the beautiful Countess until they both meet a happy ending and of course it's full of the songs that delighted film audiences everywhere. You know it's the audience that makes a picture a success and it's the same way with a product like Lux toilet soap. Famous for years as the complexion care of beautiful women Lux soap has now made another hit with a big bar size and here's the signal for the curtain to rise on The Emperor Wolves starring Bing Crosby as Virgil Smith and Anne Blythe as the Countess. Vienna some 40 odd years ago in the study of his palace Emperor Franz Joseph has just received some visitors General von Stolzenberg Stolzenberg his daughter the Countess Johanna and his daughter's dog a French poodle named Scheherazade. Come in General come in don't stand there sit down. Your Majesty. My dear Johanna sorry I can't kiss your hand bad cold full of germs. Oh how are you Scheherazade what pretty ribbons you're wearing today. Well General you know why I've sent for you. If it's about that girl at the opera house I definitely did not promise her the lead in Aida. Girl opera house now what have you done? Me? Your Majesty I'm really... You better be quiet Father before you really give yourself away. I sent for you Johanna to discuss a marriage. Marriage? But your highness... The Russian Duke Scheher the one with all the money? Don't be absurd a match Johanna that means a great deal to me. I've given it infinite thought my dear studied the bloodlines on both sides one could not ask for better. Thank you Scheherazade. I've raised Johanna to realize that blood comes first. What pleases me most is that both lines are prolific. Pro... Prolific your Majesty? I anticipate superb offsprings. Oh it will warm my old heart to see the little things crawling about. Great honor, a great honor. If there are five I shall want three. Is that asking too much? Your Majesty. Now don't quibble it'll give the emperor any happiness. I think the Union should be brought about as rapidly as possible you see spry as he is the bridegroom is rather an elderly gentleman. How... How old your Majesty? Twelve. Twelve? What's what possible differences in... Twelve? On the seventh of September now I suggest that the nuptials take place in my kennels. Kennels? With all that barking going on? Father the Emperor is talking about the poodles. His Majesty's dog Louie is asking for the paw of Scheherazade in marriage. Well I... Well of course I'm no fool. Scheherazade did you hear? You're engaged. My dog Louie and I will expect you tomorrow at my hunting large in the mountains. We're most honored your Majesty. Think of it you honor why we... Forgive me your Majesty but you must take cover at once, Sire. Now what's going on? There's an assassin in the palace. The captain of the guard says he's got a bomb. Oh dear this constant hiding gets to be such a ball. Don't be alarmed your Majesty we're closing in on the villain right now. He's surrounded down there in the courtyard. Hey, hey, hey, way break it up. What's the matter? Release the fabric here. What are you trying to do? What's the big idea? How come you guys want to chase me out of the palace? I got a pass. See? Signed here by the Royal Chamberlain. We've got him Lieutenant. You can call off the cavalry. You're crazy or something? Now what'd you do with my box? And let go of my dog you dog you. Never mind buttons we'll file suits first thing in the morning. Captain we dropped the box in the pond but it may still explode. Oh is this the Emperor's Palace or a loony bin or where am I? This pass. Virgilate Smith. Yeah it says here you came as a potentate. Well are you a potentate? Well I may have stretched things a little but I'm a shriner all right. Dews paid up through January. You're an anarchist that's what you are. I am not. I'm a Presbyterian. Another lie. It says here you're a salesman. Less than a wobble face isn't it possible for a guy to be a Presbyterian shriner potentate salesman? Now you're trying to... I am also a registered Democrat, a junior member of the Chamber of Commerce, a Sandley at 13. Not so fast now. I gotta talk fast if I don't my sample's gonna rust in that Thush Fish pond. Assume where you are. Thush Fish. You got me all upset. I don't know what I'm talking about. Got the thing that it's no bomb. I never saw such a bunch of ignoramuses. What's the matter with you anyhow? Bomb. Look I'll get the box out of the water myself. Will that help you? I'll even open it myself. Maybe that'll convince... Stand back men. If it goes off it'll save the expense of a hanging. Look he's winding up the box. He's winding it. Well it's a little damp fellas but it may still work now. I attached the little horned busley. Oh don't be silly. Okay buttons. Cock your head now. Hook in the horn. There you are fellas. Well don't you recognize the trademark? You don't get it huh? You're all playing infield around here I guess. Well this box is an invention. It's a talking machine. A phonograph. A new kind of American thingamabob. Here watch this. We have a record. We place it on the machine. We drop the needle. And we're in business. Here she goes boys. Listen now. Get yourself a phonograph. You'll get yourself a girl. When you start a record playing. Introduce yourself by saying let's twirl. Get yourself a phonograph. How can you ever miss? Let the needle help you wheedle a kiss. And when she hears the music. How romantic she'll become. A serenade that's ready made for an insignificant sum. Get yourself a phonograph. Just give the crank a whirl. It's a wonderful invention. And attract so much attention. And of course you heard me mention that you get yourself a girl. Well there you are. Convinced? Doesn't convince you huh? Well let me back in the palace. I'm trying to see the emperor in here. I can't wait to. Yes enough worries without listening to that. All right Lieutenant. Turn the prisoner over to the Royal Chamber. All right Your Majesty you may come out now. Well what was it this time? A false alarm sire. An American salesman. Don't worry I'll dispose of him immediately. The dogs Your Majesty. We were making the final arrangement. Shahara's out and I will leave in the morning Your Majesty. I'll escort them myself. And I may personally guarantee Your Highness a most glorious litter. I know it. I know you're the Royal Chamber and you're the boy who lined up the appointment for me. I tell you we have changed our mind. Now out the gate. Ah listen. Listen steady chubby. I came here to put my talking machine over and I'm going to. You understand? I'm going to sell 5,000, 10,000, 20,000. Not in Austria I assure you. What a bunch of dusty old aunties you got around here. Why you wouldn't have put in electric lights only the emperor did. You wouldn't have bought an automobile only the emperor did. Well he's going to buy the first talking machine you see and he's going to endorse it and when he does you just watch the sales skyrocket. Ho ho ho. Up they go. One more word and you're under arrest. V&E's charm. Okay buttons. It's all right. All right. Tell you one thing. If you ever see me order Venuschnitzel again you can spit in my eye. Hey buttons. Here now. Back here. Didn't say we had to run out. Oh no. No. No. What's the matter? What's the matter with you? Over there. Over there. That other dog she belongs to the counters. Call back your dog. Call him back. Hey buttons. Hey here. Yeah buttons. Here boy. Come on boy. They're off the rust up now. You hear me? Here now. Let's get it on you. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Oh quick. Get in the coach. Oh my poor Scheherazade. Did he frighten you? Hey. Hey. Come back here. What you doing to my dog? He's bleeding. Hey stop. Who do these people think they are? They are his Excellency Baron General from Stolzenberg Stolzenberg and his daughter the counters. Yeah well where do they live? In the Stolzenberg Stolzenberg Palace and Stolzenberg Stolzenberg Square naturally. That's a lot of Stolzenberg isn't it? Don't tell us to get out again because we're getting. Come on buttons. Let's have a look at that park. You rang sir? Yeah. Does a black dog live here? I beg your pardon. A French poodle. Black but so big. You tell us she's got to see a man about a dog. It's all right friend. I'll dispose of him myself. There they are buttons. There they are. Quietly keep that animal on its leash. Sit down Scheherazade. It's the idea just running off before down there. You saw what happened. Your dog bit my dog. Your dog annoyed my dog and take off your hat. Look at his paw. She had bled for half an hour all over my rented suit. Don't let him upset you darling. What is it you want money? I want a saliva test. I want it right now. Oh what? Saliva test. Your dog may be mad. That silly looking beast might have the rabies. Oh thank you. Not to use such vile words when you talk about her. Well have you watched her lately for symptoms? Has she been frothing at the mouth? Has her bark sounded... My dear man. My veterinarian goes over Scheherazade twice a week from snout to tail. Oh listen. Any mutt can get rabies. And stop referring to her as a mutt. Have you ever heard of bloodlines? Hers goes back to the 18th century. Buttons goes back to as far as they've been having dogs. Her father belonged to the Tsar of Russia. How you don't say? Her mother to the Infanta of Spain. Well Buttons more belongs to a milk man in Jersey City and his father... Oh well his father you got me there. Furthermore Scheherazade has just become the truth to the dog of his Emperor Franz Josef. Yeah. Well Buttons brother helps a kid named Stinky O'Hara deliver newspapers and his sister was making an honest living as a watch dog until she had a little run-in with the Jersey Central Railroad. How really fascinating. If your poodle is so darn classy how come she doesn't know better than to go around biting a nice little dog like Buttons? She all he did was go up to her and say how do you do? Yes. Thrusting his ugly ill-bred little face right into hers. And for that she bit him? Certainly. And she was right? Well there are such things as class distinction you know. If the low bread has the impertinence to come so distastefully close well... What can you expect but to be bitten? Is that so? It is. Okay. Let's see. You kissed me. Yeah. Now go ahead. Bite me. Well what do you got to yapp about? I told you what happened. The Emperor is up here in the mountain. See it said so in the newspaper. If we're going to sell him a talk of machine... I thought you'd like it up here. All these trees and things. You're there! Where are you going? Why? What's the matter? Road closed or something? It is to you. These grounds where the Emperor goes hunting. Oh, he's hunting now, huh? His Majesty hunts only in the morning. But right here in the woods, huh? He goes down this road and through the gorge. And no spectators! I heard you the first time. Your first time. Hey, Buttons. Get a load of that echo. La la la. La la la. La la la la. La. Oh, that was wonderful acoustics. What do you say, Buttons? Let's hit him with the full treatment, huh? Yalllll... Yalllll... La la la... La la la la... Bum bum... Yalll... Bum bum... If you feel a song, then let the song begin. And you'll find a friendly mountain joining in. Loosen up your pipes and, brother, you can bet. It's as pretty as a barbershop quartet. Or say you take the lead and you think you're all alone. But you find you've got a tenor, bass and baritone. We're almost there, Scheherazade. Don't be impatient. I tell you, your honor, the dog's not well. Just feel her nose. She's running a temperature. Don't be hysterical. Hysterical? Don't you realize what this means to me? What if she gets a cold or distemper? Oh, heaven forbid. Oh, we're all right. Let's rest for a moment. Stop here, driver. Ah, just breathe this delicious air, Scheherazade. What's the matter? What is it? She's running away. Scheherazade. Hustle up the song. What's eating you? What's the matter, Buttons? Hey, now, the song ain't that bad. Come back here. Hey, boy. Hey, Buttons. Scheherazade. She's fighting. He's killing her. Buttons, cut that out. Cut it out. You hear me? Let her alone. Call off your dog. Call him off. What's the matter with you, Buttons? Here, now, he-he-down, down, down there, boy. Quiet, desist. Why, first thing you know, you-you who? This is outrageous. Small world, huh? Are you following me? No. Are you? Why? Why, this is the same objectionable American, isn't it? I'll take care of him, Father. You take Scheherazade back to the coach. Oh, yes, yes. I'll give her some brandy. As for you, exactly what are you doing here? Well, they don't pay my expenses just to climb mountains. In Yodel, I'm here on business. Got to see the emperor. At his majesty's request? Let's not get technical about it. Then how do you expect to see him? Oh, he's going to see me, or hear me, or rather, he's going to hear my talking machine. Oh, really? Yeah, well, every day, you know, I find out he goes out coon-hunting or something out here, and one of these fine mornings, I'll hide behind a tree or something, get my talking machine all set, and suddenly... And then? Well, once he gets a listen, it'll be a sense you'll say, How come that beautiful dog-gone band is up here playing in these little bitty old dog-gone foothills tomorrow? That's what he'll say. I shall pop out from behind my tree, and I'll say, Imp, that's no band, that's a phonograph. Come on over here, see for yourself. Very clever. Only it won't work. Why not? Because you will not be hiding behind any tree, because no tradesman can be allowed to presume on the emperor of Austria, and because you're going straight back to the inn, and you take your things and leave immediately. You and that miserable dog of yours. Who's going to make us? The police. Fun day. Well, I'm an American citizen, he's an American dog. I got a passport, he's got a dog flag. And if you don't leave voluntarily, I'll see that they throw you out. You try anything like that, and you're going to get into a peck of trouble. Don't you forget that Teddy Roosevelt still carries a big stick. Who carries what? You start a mad with me, he'll have the rough riders over here, so fast make your head swim, boy. You honor, get back here at once. And the army will be here too, and the navy and the marines, you understand? And don't forget, we're building a little thing called the Panama Canal. Just what are you raving about? You'll find out soon enough when we won't let your ships through, not one of them. You'll have to go all the way down around South America, or else you'll have to go all the way up north where it's so darn cold that you... The first train out of here. You and your apparatus and that dog. Especially that dog. Yeah, we'll fix you in Washington. What we'll do to your ambassador. And we'll boycott your product. The Blue Danube Forbidden by Actor Congress. Yeah! Oh, hi fellas. Oh, shut up with that stuff. In a moment, we'll return with act two of the Emperor Waltz. Now, here's our Hollywood Reporter, Libby Collins, with interesting news for movie fans. They'll be glad to know, Mr. Keely, that Metro Golden Mayor has an important new picture. It's the Red Danube. An exciting story of post-war Vienna, as up-to-date as today's headlines. There's certainly drama in that subject, Libby. You know, Walter Pigeon tells me his role in this picture is one of the most powerful he's ever done. Ethel Barrymore is thrilled with the story, too. And with her part, as the mother superior of a convent near Vienna. There's only a great actress who could play the role with such conviction, which means that Ms. Barrymore, well, she's perfectly cast in the part. I love Peter Lawford as the dashing British major. Didn't he get a grand reception when he went to the premiere in San Francisco last week? Yes, and I noticed that Janet Lee takes another step toward the stardom in the Red Danube. You know, she makes a very lovely Russian ballerina. Yes, indeed. She looks the part with that delicate, almost a-theorial beauty she has. Don't you think so, John? She's a charmer, Libby, especially in the close-ups. A luxe girl, of course. That's right. The luxe toilet soap gives her skin just the care it needs. And the new bath size cake makes a special hit with her. It's so luxurious, she says. That big bath size luxe toilet soap couldn't be finer. Lots of rich, creamy lather, and a perfume screen stars love. Yes. It leaves such a delicate, clinging fragrance on the skin. There's something rather special about that luxe soap perfume. Indeed, there is. It's an exclusive blend of many flower fragrances. Rose, Jasmine, Lily of the Valley are just a few. No wonder that new bath size cake is the choice of 9 out of 10 screen stars. And women everywhere say it makes their daily beauty bath more refreshing than ever. Have you tried this fine new product of Lever Brothers Company? You'll find the whole family will enjoy the generous bath size luxe toilet soap. Now, our producer, Mr. William Keely. He's back two of the Emperor Walls starring Bing Crosby as Virgil Smith and Anne Blythe as the Countess. Well, our hero, Virgil Smith, is convinced that his sales trip to Austria is a bust. And in the golden fiddle in, he's packing up to go home. A few miles away in the Emperor's hunting lodge, disaster hovers over the royal dog kennels. Scheherazade, the French poodle, is ailing. How is she, Dr. Schweibach? Oh, my poor Scheherazade. Physically, there is nothing wrong with the Countess, but emotionally, well, this is something else again. You think she's upset about her wedding? It's very difficult to say. I have been psychoanalyzing her. But she never had a sick day until she had the fight with that other dog. Fight? Other dog? It's an American dog, a brown and white mongrel. His name? What was his name? Buttons. Well, let's test it. Scheherazade, listen. Buttons? Absolutely clear now. A fear complex, very disturbing. Isn't there a cure? We must bring the two dogs together. Scheherazade needs buttons. Oh, but I've ordered Buttons owner to leave Austria. You did what? That is bad, Countess. Very bad. Well, maybe it's not too late. He'll be at the inn. Don't worry, Scheherazade. I'll do everything I can. Everything. I'm leaving, I told you. I'm going back to the police station. Let me finish. Well, well, well. Come in, Countess. I thought it was the cops again. I'm here to demand your cooperation, Mr. Smith. Me? Help her, Countess? My dog is in a state of complete collapse. What am I supposed to do? Well, the reason for Scheherazade's breakdown is fear. And the reason for her fear is your dog. Oh, no. Now, the veterinary says, well, to put it simply, if Scheherazade could realize that Buttons is not a danger, if your dog could be nice to my dog, well, no. Oh, no, no. She might toss a flea on him or something. I assure you this is a matter of utmost importance. It goes far beyond just curing a dog. So we're going to do you a favor, take us out, that is. No. No, you can stay as long as you like. I don't care. Oh, well, now you're talking sense. Let me get Scheherazade from the carriage. There's no time to waste. Oh. And see that your dog behaves. Hold it, Countess. There's a word missing here. I beg your pardon. The word is please. Please. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You can do better than that. Please. Come again. Please. Bring in the mutt. Just look at the Mr. Smith playing like a couple of puppies. It's incredible. I told you, didn't I? Back in Vienna, that Buttons was a gentleman. Of course, after she heard his feelings, the way he did, you know. You don't know how relieved I am. Why, the doctor said Scheherazade might have gone. C-R-A-Z-Y. Oh, not that. Well, let's see what else we can do. Does Scheherazade like music now? There's a piano over there in the corner. Oh, I think she'd love some music. Oh, nothing too gay, though. She mustn't become overstimulated. Oh, no, no. Well, let's see. How's this here? That's fine. I'm begging for your lips. I haven't any right, madame. To do the things I do. Just when I hold you tight, madame. You vanish with a knife, madame. In dreams I kiss your hand. And I pray my dreams come true. I think, you know what I was thinking, maybe a little object lesson might help, huh? Object lesson? Well, if I were to kiss you like this, well, then they might get the idea, too. Get you on? I see. Nothing personal, do you understand? Oh, I understand perfectly. You may kiss me again, Mr. Smith. Yeah, yeah. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't presume that. No, no. Of course you wouldn't. Oh, look. Look, she's kissing Buttons, and now Buttons is kissing her. Oh, she's cured, huh? Oh, I'm sure she is. Come, dear, we can go back now. Say goodbye, Buttons. You've been very kind, Mr. Smith. Oh, uh, my, uh, talking machine, huh? Any objections? Oh, no, no objections. You wouldn't happen to know when he's going hunting. Tomorrow morning. They've sighted a big stag in the Glen. Well, then if I hide in the woods tomorrow morning, the chances are he'd hear it. Goodbye, Mr. Smith. Well, what's the matter with you? You're telling me. There he is, Your Majesty. What a magnificent stag. What antlers? All my life I've waited for a stag like that. Here's your rifle, Your Majesty. Look at it. Like a statue mounted on those rocks. Don't move anyone. Oh, already I can see its head mounted above Your Majesty's desk. I can't. This, not at this distance. Quiet now. I'll take aim. Oh, no. No. No, what's going on? My stag. He's gone. Incredible. Must be a band marching down the highway. I want my stag. I want my stag. Music here. Arrest them. Arrest every man in that band, especially the brass section. Oh, what a disappointment. What a tragedy. It's inhuman. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. Countess. Oh, hi, Countess. Turn it off. Oh, but the Emperor's here. I saw his hunting party. Hey, now, look out. Don't fool with that. You're going to scratch my ruff. Look out. Don't. You scared off the Emperor's stag. They're combing the woods. Well, he can knock off a stag anytime, but an invention like this. Oh, be quiet. Come. Did you find that band? Not yet, Countess. But they must be here somewhere. Who is that man? You mean this man? What's he doing here? Oh, just a tourist picking wild strawberries. And that contraption he's got. What is it? Well, that's what I was just asking about. It's apparently for strawberries. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Strawberries. Show me. Well, you see this horn? You put the strawberries in here, and then you grind them up with this crank, you see? And the jam collects down yonder in the box. Yeah, down in the, get the box down there and get the jam. That round black thing, what does that do? Oh, you mean this platter? Well, this is what you serve them on. In the hole in the middle, that's so the juice can run out. Any questions? I don't know. It would seem to be... I don't care if what it seems to you. Now go find that band. All right. I beg your pardon, Countess. Come, please. Come. Oh, you're a pet, Countess. And thanks. I'm afraid you'll have to think up another scheme for your talking machine. Yeah, I guess I will. I don't know what it is. Save! How shall I start? Oh, gay is a lock. Busy with a wedding plan. Oh, boy. Being trimmed, a new collar. Sniffing over her wedding present. Buttons and I, we didn't sleep a wink last night. Couldn't eat breakfast either. Oh, I'm so sorry. So you don't suppose that, you know, whatever Shaharazad had that... Could that be contagious? Oh, nonsense. Buttons is a sturdy, well-adjusted little dog. Talking about me. I'm no... I'm no one's got the shivers. Oh, no, really? No, don't laugh. I've got them. One of these nights there'll be a knock on your door, and when you open it, buttons will be standing there with me in his arms. Just like you were with Shaharazad. And I'll lie there quaking with my eyes rolled back until just the white is showing. Oh, you'd have to help me then, wouldn't you? How? Oh, you'd bend over me and... Where the hell are you? Remember the cure we found? Your Honor! Your Honor, where are you? I... I have to go. Wait, wait a minute. Don't go. Don't you feel it too? Feel what, Mr. Smith? That funny stir inside of you. All bubbles and firecrackers and your blood all out of whack. Oh, boy, right now, mine's going counter-clockwise. How's yours? Perfectly normal, I assure you. Goodbye, Mr. Smith. Count us, hey! Oh, well. Fact chance I'd have with a gal like that. Say, I wonder if it would work? I throw some strawberries in the horn. I turn the... Oh, holy Toledo, I am nuts. Still awake, Shaharazad. Don't you know it's way past midnight? Now you listen to me. He's just an ordinary little dog like a million other little dogs. All right, he has some charm. Knows a few tricks. But he's not for you, Shaharazad. He's not your sort. And tomorrow, you and the Emperor's poodle will be married. Oh, now stop crying. You're not a child, Shaharazad. You're an adult and intelligent woman with a position to maintain. Self-control? Dignity? Is that too much to ask? It's no use, is it, Shaharazad? A fine pair we made. Shaharazad, where are you going? Shaharazad, come back here. Royal Chamberlain, Sire, I find it my duty to... Yes, yes, yes. Well, it's high time you knew what was going on. Well, speak up, speak up. What's going on? Sire, it is three weeks since the Countess Joanna came here to the mountains with her dog. Well? Why do you suppose the Countess is so intent upon remaining here? Why has she not returned to Vienna? Perhaps she likes it here. She has an excellent reason, Your Highness. There's an American in the village. I've had trouble with him before, Sire. Countess Joanna sees this low person every day. He dares to make love to her. Well, if it's been going on for three weeks, she can't object too strenuously. Perhaps she finds him amusing, which is more than I can say for you. Now stop this absurd gossip and let me alone. Let's not walk any more, Virgil. Let's just sit here by the lake. You know something? If Scheherazade hadn't run away that night to find Buttons, I wouldn't be here now. Poor Buttons. His gallop and married royalty. As I shall probably do, one of these days? Meanwhile, do you suppose I could trouble you for another kiss, Honey Countess? No trouble at all. I'll never forget you, Virgil. Oh, you bet you won't. Because I won't be around to remind you. Impurtenant, unpardonable, ridiculous Virgil. You can say your lips are not for me, but you can't hide the kiss that's in your eyes. And you can say my arms. And you can say tonight will come and go without a single moment's worth of sound. What did you mean, Virgil? You're going to be around? I thought you were going back to America. I got it all worked out, Honey Countess. You pack your bags, I pack mine. We get the dogs, we take the first train, the first boat. And then one day your folks are going to get a postcard from Newark, New Jersey, and it'll say, Merry Christmas from Mr. and Mrs. Virgil Homer Smith. Oh, it sounds so wonderful. Is that great? It's so impossible. Why? Don't you understand, Virgil, there'd be a scandal and we can't afford a scandal in my family. I have a younger brother in the Imperial Military School. He'd be expelled. Well, so he'll hustle around, he'll get a job setting up pins in the Imperial Bowling Alley or something. He'll find something, don't worry about it. I have a young sister. She's to be presented at court. Well, so she'll call in the neighborhood kids. Instead, she'll have herself a big taffy post. And then there's my father. Very bankrupt and slightly dishonest. If we should affront the Emperor... All the Emperor again. Nobody's that important. He is, darling. Well, then why don't I go see him? Tell him how things are with us that were wacky about each other. He wouldn't listen to me. Just get me in there now. I'll reason it out with him. You don't reason with an Emperor, Virgil. You simply listen to what he tells you. And what he has to say is, No. Oh, not me. I don't take no. I'm a salesman. I'm a pretty good salesman, too. So I've noticed. Come on, honey counters. Let me see you. Huh? What do you say? Come on. I'll see what I can do, Virgil. But I'm warning you now. It's no use. Words, Mr. Smith. You're trying to tell me that you're in love with the Countess von Stolzenberg Stolzenberg. Exactly, Your Majesty. And she loves me. Oh, I know it. It sounds crazy considering who she is and where I hail from. And in which one of the United States are these tracks located? New Jersey, Newark, New Jersey. My mother has a place there. An estate? Oh, no. It's a house. Well, sort of half a house. Two family deal, you know. Dr. Coleman, the dentist. He lives in the other half. Very nice fellow, Doc. You ought to say, We go bowling every night together. Have a barrel of laps. And you and Joanna would live with your mother? Well, then she wouldn't be alone, you see, while I'm out on the road. On the road? That's right. I'm a traveling salesman. I earn $22 a week, 4% commission. That's not bad, you know, when you consider what an up-and-coming product I handle. I got it right here over just in case, you know, you'd like to... Oh, that's it. That mechanical music box with which you pursued me. Yeah, I'm sorry about the stag, Your Highness. You know, of course, I'm the one made you lose him. You know that? No, I probably would have missed him anyway. Very poor shot. This talking machine, it's really good. Good? Why? It's the guy who's dying. It's Jim Dandy's machine. You have... Listen, you... I didn't come here to sell the machine. I came here to sell myself. So you wouldn't think the Countess was throwing herself away on some hoodlum, you know? But you're not a hoodlum, are you? No, no. You're a businessman. Oh, sure. And if a good business proposition offered itself, you wouldn't let it slip through your fingers. Well, I should hope not, sir. It so happens I have one for you. Give up your honor, and I'll endorse your talking machine. Come again? I'm sure you heard me. Oh, now look. I loved your honor. That's what I'm counting on. I've seen these love affairs time and again, Mr. Smith. Princes eloping with soubrettes, princesses with headwaiters. Well, why not if they love each other? Why not because it never lasts? Never. A few short months, then unhappiness, disaster, even death. Why, in my own feathers... Well, there's royalty. Is it so much better? I don't say that. No, no. What I do say is that I know my class. Take your honor with you and you destroy her. Do you want to destroy someone you love? No, I don't want to. I'm not going to. I'm going to make her happy. One chance in a million. Picture your honor in this two-family house in your new walk. Oh, she still may love you, but as she dries the dishes, won't she think tonight is the gala opening of the opera in Vienna? Last week I should have been at Asgard and the Royal Enclosure. I wonder how the season is at Biritz. Oh, she won't think that. Because she has you. Are you enough, Mr. Smith? $22 a week with 4% commission? I too love you, honor. And I intend to protect her. Now show me that machine of yours. Well, how does it work? Seems I kiss your hand, my darling. Your dainty fingertips. And while in slumberland, madame, I'm begging for your lips. I haven't any right, madame, to do the things I do. Not exactly grand opera, but pleasant in its way. When I hold you tight, madame, you vanish with the night. Seems I kiss your hand, madame, and I pray my dreams come true. I don't know, Father. I don't understand. This is fantastic. The Empress taking up the Emperor's time. Maybe he's playing the talking machine because everything is going so well. Oh, that must be it. He's doing it just to trick a nice old man into a sentimental mood. It's not fair. The Emperor is consented. Oh, I just know he has. And Virgil, what is it? What did His Majesty say? Exactly what I wanted him to say. Honey Countess. Oh, Virgil. And I sure want to thank you, both for myself and on behalf of the company. Oh, it's all so wonderful. What company? The phonograph company, my bosses. They better send you a bathtub full of roses, too. But why? You helped swing the deal, didn't you? I sold the Emperor the phonograph from now on. It's the same. You mean... You mean that's all you talked about? Oh, come. Come now, Countess. What's a salesman after first? Last. All the time. A sale. Of course. And everything that happened between us. All those words, those silly dreams. All part of what you call a sales campaign. I... I had a hunch he didn't be a little sore, but you couldn't have taken it seriously. Gee, a Countess and a traveling salesman. I guess I'm terribly stupid. Well, you're a very good salesman, indeed. The company thinks so. They send me on all these tough assignments. This one wasn't so tough, now, was it? No hard feelings, huh? No feelings at all. It's just funny, isn't it? Of course, not half as funny as the idea of me, may Virgil Smith take on a life-sized Countess back to Newark. So long, Countess. Thanks for everything. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. After a brief intermission, we'll continue with the third act of the Emperor Walls. It's always a pleasure to see a promising young player get ahead, and we're glad to welcome Randy Stewart of 20th Century Fox. I understand you've been very busy at the studios since your last visit to the Lux Radio Theatre, Randy. Yes, I have, Mr. Kately, and I love it. You learn something new every day, you know. For instance, I never realized before the drama there is in the trucking business. Obviously, you've been seeing the new Fox picture, Thieves Highway, the story of those long-haul trucks that travel by night. And the danger and adventure they meet en route. With Richard Condy heading the cast, there's plenty of action. Yes, he's a forceful player. And so is the new Italian discovery, who plays the sweetheart. Barbara Lawrence turns into a grand performance, too, in Thieves Highway. You know, there's a young player with real ability. Very easy on the eyes, too. I should say so. And I think Mr. Kennedy will be glad to know that she's an ardent Lux girl. Why, she even took a supply of her favorite beauty soap on location with her. That was a smart idea. But then, screen stars wouldn't be without Lux toilet soap for daily beauty care. And they love the big new bath size, Kate, Mr. Kennedy. It makes such a refreshing bath, wonderful for a quick pickup after a day on the set. Yes, that new bath cake is a winner everywhere. It's generous in size and so convenient to use. And the perfume it leaves on your skin is just what women like. Reminds me of spring flowers. Thanks, Miss Randy Stewart, for coming tonight. And now, here's a hint for canny shoppers. Put the new bath size Lux toilet soap on your list tomorrow. The whole family will appreciate it. Here's your producer, Mr. Keely. The curtain rises on the third act of the Emperor Wall, starring Bing Crosby as Virgil Smith and Anne Blythe as the Countess. It's a few months later now, and Virgil Smith's talking machines endorsed by the Emperor have taken Vienna by storm. There's a ball in the palace tonight, and an uninvited guest has managed to crash the royal gate. He's found the Countess, Johanna, and hustled her off to an anti-room. Let go of my arm. Countess, come, please. Now, you don't think I'd have come here at all, if it wasn't a matter of life and death. Whatever your reason, Mr. Smith, I am not interested. I don't think my father is either. And if he should find you... Look, look, now, after the night, you'll never see me again. I promise you, we're ready to go home. Only buttons will never make it. He's sick. He'll never live to see Newark again, unless you help us. No. Now, let me get back to the ballroom. He's out there in the carriage. Poor little fellow, all bundled up. You ought to see him. Just a little rack of bones. Last night, he dragged himself out of the hotel. You know where I found him? In front of your house. Looking for Scheherazade. I'm extremely sorry. I rang the bell and your servants told me Scheherazade was here at the palace. And she can't be disturbed. What are you trying to do, Countess? You're trying to take it out on him for something my dear? Buttons isn't a business, man. He isn't working any angles. All Buttons did was to lose his fool heart. That's all. One doesn't die of a lost heart, Mr. Smith. Except in those syrupy songs the chambermaids play on your phonograph. Well, let him see her just once more, huh? Come on. Just for a minute. Just so the poor little dog can begin to breathe again. I'll go out there and get him. I'm expected back in the ballroom, Mr. Smith, and that's just where I'm going. I forgot the word, maybe, huh? Please. Please. Your Honor, and where have you been? What is it, Father? The emperor just went to the kennels. Scheherazade's puppies will be born at any moment now. Well, aren't you coming? Yes, Father, of course. Oh, Buttons. Now, how'd you get in here? I thought I told you to wait out there and stay covered up. You just got to see Scheherazade. Is that it? Well, boy, I never wanted to tell you this, but I guess I'll have to. It seems that she and the emperor's poodle, well, Buttons, she's about to present him with her family. Sorry, fella, but that's the way it is. Now do you give up? Buttons. Buttons here. Here now. Come back here. Here now, wait a minute. Buttons. Here, boy. Any news in there? It will be a little while yet, Your Majesty. If you'll excuse me, I'll stay with Scheherazade. Of course, my dear, of course. What a relief, General, of when this is all over. Now, what shall I call the puppies? Let me see. They'll be black, of course. A jet black like their mother and father. I have a few suggestions, Your Highness. Huh? First born Othello. Oh, good, good, good. If for the second, Café Noir. If he's very small, Demitas. Yes, and if it's a female Sheba. Queen of Sheba, you know, she was dark. Inspired, Your Majesty, simply inspired. Oh, if I could only stay here, but I can't, not with a palace full of guests. You will remain, General. Let me know the moment the puppies arrive. Uh-huh. So this is where you are, Buttons, huh? Well, those are the royal kennels, that's fine. So, Herazade must be in there, but... Oh, she's a pretty busy lady right now. I guess all we can do is just walk the floor out here. Who is it? Who is that? The Emperor. Why, uh, it's just Buttons and me, Your Highness, me. Remember Virgil Smith with the music boxes? What are you doing here? Well, as, uh... Yeah, what am I... Well, I came to see Dr. Schweibach. Buttons here has really got to miseries, and I understand that Dr. Schweibach's got something in there. Might do him a world of good. He's the best veterinarian in Austria, but you'll have to wait. She's very busy right now. Oh, we'll wait, Your Highness. Easy, Buttons. Easy, boy, now. We'll see her yet. Don't worry. Just make a day out. Well, Schweibach, what is it? Don't just stand there staring at me. The puppies, General. They've arrived? Well, what's wrong? Come in this room and look. They're in the little basket. Well, now, that's more like... No. No, I refuse to leave my eyes. Three puppies, brown and white. Each of them, that blasted black Chessabelle... Stop shouting, Father. That dog can't do this to me. She seems to have done it anyway. These puppies are the image of Buttons. The Emperor, this will break his heart. It could ruin me. And, nevertheless, he must be told at once. Your Honor, you'll come with me. Yes, perhaps I'd better... be a good mama, Scheherazade. I'll be back later. Schweibach, come here. Yes, yes. I shall tell the Emperor that the puppies were born dead. Then he won't want to see them. Good, good. What shall I do with them? Father, I'm waiting. I'll be right there. You will drown them at once. General, I... You heard me. Drown them. That's an order. Three puppies, you say, General, and all black. Black is cold, I wager. Well, I shall go to them at once. I don't think you should see them. What's that? Great grief has befallen us, Your Majesty. Your Honor was too upset to face you with me, Scheherazade. The puppies, they were born dead. Dead? Dead? Such an ugly word. How was Scheherazade? Quite well. She'll give you puppies yet, Your Highness. Come, spring. You may count on another litter. The question is, can I count on another spring? Now go, go. Your Majesty. Well, Your Honor, you heard what I told him. Do you think it's wise to lie to His Majesty? I thought I handled it very well. Anyway, I didn't lie. The puppies are dead. I ordered Schweibach to drown them. You didn't, you couldn't have. Let them live. Run the risk of him finding out. Now, stop acting so tragic and get back to the ballroom. Hi. Hey, can we come in, Doc? I hope it's not past visiting hour. Who are you? Get out of here. Oh, yeah, just a minute. You're being a little rude, aren't you? This little gentleman here is a close friend of the family. There you are, Buttons. Scheherazade. Nobody's allowed in here. Now get out. What about the plucks? Hey, what are you filling that pail for? Stay away from them. The orders have been given. What orders? Now, give me those plucks. They're in the basket there, but you can't... Stop! Stop, come back! Gentlemen, His Majesty, the Emperor, Franz Josef. It's your majesty. Wait a minute now. Before you tell these people that the dance can go on, I got a little something to tell you. What? I got the puppies, you see, and you're not going to kill them. Just what are you trying to tell me? They're not pure enough for you. They're not good enough. They're freaks. Little brown and white mongols that you wouldn't have around. So what are you going to do? You're going to shake them off that great big noble family tree, yours, and let them rot, as if nothing had ever happened. Exactly what is in that basket, Mr. Smith? The Harrazade's pups. And you know it. General von Stolzenberg. It seemed wiser, Your Majesty. I didn't want to shock you. Let me see them, Mr. Smith. And as my hearing is not impaired, please stop shouting at me. I wanted to get my two cents worth in before you started talking. Last time, like a chump, I kept my mouth shut, and what did you do? You sold me a bill of goods at the wrong side of the tracks, and a lot of guff about me not being good enough. Are we discussing the Countess Yoado or the contents of this basket? Well, it amounts to the same thing, only now I know, with your very kind permission, sir, that you're full of cracked ice. Maybe I was to fall for it and walk out and make a heel out of myself. Virgil. Virgil, will you say that again, please? Slowly and plainly and simply. I sure will, honey Countess. But later. Your Majesty, please. Was it me that you made him give up? Your Honor, we both agreed that with him you had only one chance in a million to be happy. Does Your Majesty think I am happy? Isn't one chance in a million better than no chance at all? Oh, my dear, you're much too pretty for mathematics. Look at those puppies. Look, they're all boys. Sure. Boys running buttons family. Maybe one has a bite like a nutcracker. Oh, Your Honor, so sweet, Your Majesty. They'll be the strongest, the smartest, the funniest little... Yeah, and between buttons and me, we'll bring them up right when we get them back home, too. There's no fooling around with these. Can I have them? Give me the... Indeed, you cannot have them. No. Why should you have buttons and chairs out and the puppies? Maybe we could leave one for His Majesty, the one who seems so attached to his finger. Oh, sure. That sounds like a good deal to me. You know what I'm going to do? Yes. I'm going to withdraw that remark about the crack dice. Well, thank you very much, but I'm keeping them all, nevertheless. Oh, now, here. Now, leave me alone. Go on, dance, all of you. Oh, Your Majesty, if I may. You may not. I'll settle with you later. Virgil, the people, they're all staring at us. Good, good. I got something to tell you. You too, Honey Countess and the people. Love is a dream. Yet it's so real. Hard to explain just how you feel. Deep in your heart joy seems to dwell like how it says perfectly swell. Some say love is lonely, some say love is serious and sad. If you ask me and I must tell I'm where the poet is perfectly swell. Love is a dream. Yet it's so real. Hard to explain just how you feel. Deep in your heart joy seems to dwell like how it says perfectly swell. Your applause calls tonight's stars back to the footlights. Here they are for a curtain call. Bing Crosby and Anne Blythe. You know, you both gave delightful performances. Thank you. Thank you very much, Bill. Take a bow, Countess. Oh, sure. And it's very kind of you, sir, to say such nice things. The Countess is an old friend of Barry Fitzgerald's. Well, sir, now, you know, it's just that I worked so long with you and Barry in top of the morning. Paramount will adore you for saying that. So you just get to talking that way, eh? Ah, that's right. You might say it's a habit like that wonderful bath-sized luxe soap. Oh, you can't beat luxes. Oh, you're so right. It's a grand soap. Ah, and she's one of our loveliest luxe girls. Thank you, Bill. You know, I've been reading all about the Luxe Radio Theatre's 15th anniversary in Look Magazine. The pictures are very interesting, especially one taken in 1937 of one of our older singing stars as he appeared here. Well, Jolson in print again. You can't keep old Jolie down. Oh, oh, oh. Poppin' up. Bing, this was a picture of you. Very handsome, too. Me? Look, must have been Al Dexter or somebody. Oh! What's the show next week, Bill? It's very timely, Bing. Next week, the World Series begins. And next Monday night, we'll celebrate baseball's big week with a fast-moving baseball comedy. It's the 20th Century Fox picture. It happens every spring. We'll have the original star of the picture, Ray Maland. And with Ray, the lovely Colleen Townsend, a delightful, romantic play for the whole family's entertainment next Monday. Well, I'll have to scout that line up for the Pittsburgh Pirates. So long, Bill. Good night. Good night and thank you both. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Luxe Toilet Soul, joined me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday evening. And the Luxe Radio Theatre presents Ray Maland and Colleen Townsend in It Happens Every Spring. This is William Keeley saying good night to you from Hollywood. And Blythe is here by arrangement with Samuel Goldwyn, producer of Rosanna McCaw. Our play was adapted by S.H. Barnett, and our music was directed by Louis Silvers. This is your announcer, John Milton Kennedy, reminding you to join us again next Monday night to hear It Happens Every Spring, starring Ray Maland and Colleen Townsend. And listen in next Sunday night by the best record of the show. And we'll be back with a new video next week! Talk about glorious cakes! They're better than ever made with new spry. Lighter, finer, richer, supremely delicious. Why? Because new spry contains a superior new cake improver. You'll find in no other type of shortening. And we'll be back with a new video next Monday night. We'll be back with a new video next week. See you next week! find in no other type of shortening. For better cakes than ever and for all you bacon fry, try new, better than ever, Sprye, another fine product of Lever Brothers company. You'll be a better cook when you use Sprye. Be sure to listen next Monday night to the Lux Radio Theatre presentation of It Happens Every Spring starring Ray Maland and Colleen Townsend. Stay tuned for my friend Irma, which follows over these same stations. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.