 Bestumakf Rakunja wajimu, nundi wajingu wajimu mwaji yunniwe ha shirtu namafu wajimu yunniwe. Nyimi Rama Agcuqu aliazku vikwiliani hwapia, wajimu wajimu wanendu iwikwiliani kwa wajawezziye nandu wajimu, kwanwa yuwe ha ta nyisiye wajimu wajimunare wa Exportu nani. Kwa wajimu wajimu maomin. We need to help us in this particular discussion. This is a fantastic lady. Ladies and gentlemen, I am with in studio Shufa Ottman. She is an author and founder of The Sisterhood KE. Thank you very much. I'm glad to be here. I'm happy to help you. Thank you. I love what I saw on your page. Just tell us something a bit more about that. What is The Sisterhood KE all about? The Sisterhood KE is a group of ladies, of young ladies aged between the ages of 25. We are hoping to extend it to the age of 45 where they just come together and talk and basically just vent because I realized that I have a lot of things to say and I don't particularly know exactly where to say them. Who to say it to? If I don't particularly want to go to therapy because they still the stigma and a bit of fear when it comes to therapy. So it's like some mentorship? Yes. For women? For ladies, yes. Because in the ages of 25 you realize that you're in a quarter life crisis of some kind where you don't really know what exactly you're supposed to do. You've been told growing up that this is how everything is supposed to go. You finish school, you get a job, you work, you start a family and sometimes life really doesn't go according to those steps. So where do we talk about it when we're having a difficult time? Where do we discuss when, for example, you cannot find a job? Where do you discuss if you hate the job that you're in? Where do you discuss if you cannot find a partner? Where do you discuss if you're having trouble with your partner? Where do you vent? Where can you let go? Where can you take that load off your chest? Yes. And ladies and gentlemen, that is Shofa, strength of women today. We won't talk about matters concerning mental and social welfare right here on Why In The Morning. Remember, we are coming into your life from the broadcasting house here in Nairobi, Kenya. We are also streaming live through our website and that's at www.kabc.co.ke first slash Y254. The hashtag is Why In The Morning. Tag me at Ramaguko. The official station handle is at Y254 channel and, of course, ensure that you let us know where you're watching us from even as you engage on our post or conversation of the day. Shofa, doing a fantastic job. Thank you. We won't talk about mental and social welfare. I know that there are so many things that you handle on that particular platform. Yes. But let me take us a bit back. Okay. Why did you choose this path? Okay. I studied psychology in university and once completing university, I realized that very many people are afraid to actually go through therapy sessions. And so I wanted to provide just a way for people to be able to speak up because the more we hold things inside, the more they disturb us. So they are needed to be a way in which somebody can feel like they're letting go and maybe have some and be provided with some solutions of some kind because if I speak to somebody else, they'll have an opinion, their experience is different. They'll be able to help me. They might not be able to give me 100% of what I want to hear but everything they've said, I will be able to pick. And sometimes also, when you say something out loud, it's clearer to you. When you remove it from your mind and speak it out, whatever you're going through is clearer to you. But now you are in school doing psychology? Yes. And it's hitting you that, by the way, people don't actually visit psychologists. Yes. People don't want to talk about it. Yes. And you want to create a platform where people can actually get access to you without physically coming to where you are? Yes. That's a nice job opportunity by me. It's creating your own niche here. I love that. As you started this whole process, I know it took a lot of strategy and a lot of thinking around it, a lot of planning. Many say that starting is always a problem. It's the hardest part. Was it hard for you? Yes. Okay, I was afraid. I was very afraid to start because it's first something that's not there, not common. You might find it, but it's not very common. And also, are people really willing to join you on this journey? Yes. I'm willing to vent and speak to someone about what is happening with me, but is someone else willing to do the same? Yes. It was very difficult for me, just the fear of starting. So I just started with my friends. I said, yo, we're really going through things. And when we speak about it, we actually realise we're going through the exact same things. Did you feel, as if at some point, it might not come out to be something that is interesting for others too? Definitely. There's always that. You're doing something so out of the norm. You're doing something so... Just go and sit in your office what is all this you're doing. This does not make sense. You actually get that feeling of this does not make sense. Why are you doing this? But I feel I'm very passionate about people speaking out. Because the more, unfortunately with mental health cases and suicide cases increasing, we have to figure out how to simply just help each other and give each other a listening ear. I wish I knew. So that someone can just feel like, by the way, if I talk to this group, they might not be able to have a solution for me, but they'll hear me. And I feel like a lot of people these days don't feel heard. So that's why I started the sisterhood. And sometimes someone isn't looking for a solution? No. Sometimes someone just wants to talk and talk just don't say anything. Don't preach to me. Just let me talk. We have all the information. You can literally Google go on YouTube to say how to stop anxiety. Everything. But I just need someone, a human being to listen to me. How do you end up gathering all these people together so that they can be in one place where they can do more to vent out? Just my group of friends. Friends I was within high school friends I was within uni. So let's just come together and then everybody bring somebody. Everybody bring somebody. And then because now we already knew each other it was easier to speak. This is physically, right? No, just on WhatsApp actually. We started a WhatsApp group. That's why it started because sometimes it's easier to write down what you need to say and then later we realized okay now we are comfortable enough to actually meet and speak in person. Because sometimes you just need that sometimes they need for that for like I'm speaking to someone who's listening but not sitting there so that I'm not watching their facial expressions to know oh my gosh this person is judging me. So it started as a WhatsApp group and now we've started to expand it to Instagram and Facebook. And then on Instagram and Facebook it's now becoming a podcast. Yes, we started a podcast two months ago the podcast is called Cookies and Sangria. Cookies and? Sangria. So there we just now just properly speak and just speak the truth and let people hear what exactly it is we are going through to be able to give someone else an opportunity I'm going through that as well and to feel free enough to open up about their experiences. Now when you started the WhatsApp group you are with your friends. Yes, we were five of us. Around five of you. But I believe that there is that growth that has been there since then. You're now on Instagram and I'm trying to wrap my mind around the people that you're involved with because Shia is no longer the five friends now it's on Instagram and it's on Facebook. Now which people are you engaging with here and how far is the reach so far? What usually happens we ask you if you want to join the WhatsApp group you send us a DM on Instagram with your details. You tell them on IG? Yes. Or if you just rather speak to us on Instagram it's like a one-on-one because people are still shy or they just want to participate but not open up. We actually have members in the US, in Greece. Yes. Wow. I did not expect that. This is IG. Is it a private conversation with the public? Yes. This person venting is this person venting to a private team or just to the public it doesn't matter who is hearing me. For Instagram it's in the DM and then if you want to you can specify if you want to speak to a specific person or you'd like to speak to the group. So if you want to speak to the group we add you to the WhatsApp group so now you speak to the group because you know this this perception of someone else knowing my secrets I don't want someone to know my problems yet I need to vent out because one problem that many do have is the desire to be heard and the desire to speak but you are trying at the same time to be very careful not to speak to the wrong person who will end up talking about your problems with a third party that aspect of privacy and secrecy how do you employ it with your group? It's a very strict rule with the group that whatever is shared here is for the group only and actually it's just luckily I would say it's just a matter of trust everybody who has joined and participated knows exactly what they want so they just trust that nobody will share their information the way they trust like someone else has trusted them so to be quite honest we're just very lucky that everybody has actually just been very trusting and very true to keeping confidentiality because if someone tells your story there's always the fear of someone will tell my story by sheer luck that everybody understands the concept of the group so you managed to instill this system where there's confidentiality and you trust in the team that you're working with wow you must be having some way of talking to these guys how has it been because at some point who has ever come to you and told you I shared this with someone and I'm hearing it actually very fortunate nobody absolutely nobody from in the two years that we have been functioning absolutely nobody has anything like that so let's keep fingers crossed we don't expect anything but you managed it for two years and so far so good if you could manage for that period I believe so I trust the people who are joining the people who participate so as much as I trust them I know that they trust me because we don't have people who are just looking for tea exactly we're trying to help each other we're trying to lift each other we're trying to bring each other up it doesn't do anyone any good to be tell exactly and that's what everybody just needs therapy now even as you interact with people I want to bring it down to you you have you have managed to bring up a platform where people can vent out it's a good thing and people are coming out strongly and they say you know what ever since I started talking here I have grown you get a peace of mind but what about you what about Shufa where do you vent oh I go for therapy because I'm thinking sorry to say but I'm thinking yes the doctor treats me but who treats the doctor who keeps you in check how do you take care of yourself because you're hearing so many people's problems doesn't it get to you I mean I also share my problems within the group as well so there's that aspect but if somebody shares something that's way too heavy for me I do go for therapy to just unpack what they've said so that I don't carry it so that I'm in a better place to help them because you can only help others when you've helped yourself first have you had those instances where you've actually felt definitely people are really going through things out here and sometimes I'm not well equipped to handle it myself or provide a solution so I actually have to seek that party opinions and you know just how to guide someone on what to do without mentioning any names what are just some of the notable scenarios that you felt touched you that you feel you know what people are suffering mentally out here and it was that thing for you work environments toxic work environments is a very big deal people are not happy with work people are not happy with their colleagues people don't know how to teach each other at work that one is quite and that one is difficult because everybody has to earn a living everybody has to make money somehow so coping in such environments is difficult when you don't have an alternative also relationships are a big problem manuvering relationships partners solving problems conflicts those are I would say the biggest issues about work you can't resign you can't out of the job about relationships you love this person but things are just not working out they were expected all these problems how do you manage to help the people that you're working with to at least find peace within themselves and to push on because within the group is a diverse range of ladies some are single, married have children others are self-employed business women working offices so once someone shares their story everybody else chimes in with their own experiences and like pieces of advice from their own experiences and because there's people who are older and younger everybody has like a different experience so that helps when someone shares their story for them to pick what they need from the shared experiences wow so it's that aspect of helping each other heal yes definitely you share your experience no no no yes it's all very personal and that's what helps because we are always trying to give this certain image look this certain way when we just need to shed off the mask and just be ourselves now I want you to give me a typical day not even a typical day a day where you are saying you wake up in the morning and at what time does this let me say function start it's open 24-7 oh there's no time that you are saying I will log in from this time 24-7 at what time do you log in I would say I like to check in the morning because you might find someone has wanted to talk about something in the night let's pick it from there typical day this is your farm you've woken up you're saying I want to log in I want to check what's going on here tell me how it's like from the time you log in and the discussions that go on I want to feel as if I am in this particular in the group and I am part of the team bring me into it I log in see somebody has said something more often than not especially with the people who are abroad someone has already replied because of the time difference so if someone has shared for example you have shared your story in the middle of the night because that's the best time to vent type it out so you have shared your story someone abroad has replied already because of the time difference so I chime in say what I need to say as well as the day continues everybody chimes in just everybody sharing everybody everybody and then at some point I do a side conversation with the five people that I started the group with they are still there to see whether what else can be done if there is anything that needs to be done that's more than what's been discussed here so that then we can side chat the person who has the problem to now discuss like one on one what solutions we can come up with and then later now refer to the group and be like okay you're okay this is sorted out and then later the person come to say yes I'm feeling better sisterhood I love that I wish men I don't know if men can come up with such a thing I'm sure they can I would like to it's just that I'm more well equipped to work with ladies so I look for men to start the brotherhood men don't talk men don't talk even in our mental states our mental health men don't talk I love it the fact that women are talking even as you talk what is just that crazy voice notes that you ever came across confidentiality no no no don't mention don't mention any story or you went on TV to say my story or they'll pick it up it's that isolated wow wow but now even as you interact with your how do I call it sisters as you interact with your sisters is it okay to conclude that when it comes to women women are creating an environment or a safe space where they are promoting a mental health yes it's very correct because we realize it's very important and especially as we get older we are the ones who take care of everybody and so in that spirit who takes care of us we need to learn how to also take care of ourselves and you cannot do anything if your mental health is struggling this thing can happen and you will have a bad day and everything else will just feel like a disaster so it's I felt like prioritizing our mental health and our role in the society honestly always being the caretakers caregivers we also need that we need the care does it also build you how does that also build you as a person it has been very impactful with knowing that I'm actually not alone like we are all going through the exact same thing in different ways in very different ways and that's why it helps to speak about it so that we all know oh ya okay I'm not just struggling with this and with that I can just be better doing my best because it doesn't every day different and if you know okay I'm sharing this experience with someone else okay it's not that bad because sometimes people think that their situation is the worst exactly you don't know what I've been through you don't know how I've suffered on this earth you don't know how some even call it character development you don't know what I've been through so you won't understand and we're all going through the exact same character development just in different ways until you hear someone else's story ya and you can only hear it if someone has the courage to speak and that's why I actually really appreciate the ladies in the group because that's courage to speak and not everybody has that sort of courage to just speak ya now let's talk about the podcasts here in terms of execution of these podcasts how do you execute the podcast themselves for the podcast there have got to be some form of arrangement for the podcast let's talk about that so okay for the podcast we have a list of topics you know relationships money, work and so I asked the ladies who are in the group to sign up to whatever topic they feel that they want to chime into so that when the main hosts me and two other ladies are having the podcast they can come in so there is a sheet for everyone to fill I want to talk about relationships I want to talk about work so that's how we go about that one now there is an image that is about to come up on your screen I don't know if Abdul you've got this this is we took it from your IG page yes and gentleman go and check her out on her Instagram account what's the handle tell me about this picture here also this picture was our very first meet up away from WhatsApp away from Instagram when we said okay now we are brave enough to look each other in the eye and communicate and share our stories and see exactly who we have been talking to you've never met some of them we had actually never ever met till this day till this day we said okay let's go for lunch talk and just laugh about everything just have an easy time and plan what next to do with the group it must have been nostalgic getting to finally meet one on one discussing ideas oh that's you this is how you look putting a face on someone's voice our problems you get to hear someone's problem then on this day you see their face you compare the face exactly oh no we are not our problems definitely not wow sisterhood yes let me ask you when you look at a picture like this when was this taken oh this was taken a while back when was it taken I think early 2021 2021 now I was checking your account I saw yes it was wuko 2021 and I was asking myself this question wondering and maybe you can enlighten me between then look at this photo and now the progress you've made there must have been those achievements those milestones those things that you look back and say wow this was it what are some of these things for you I would say firstly the group growing we've grown tremendously from the 5 to 30 now we're about 30 those are the core people away from people who we talk to on Instagram and Facebook the core people we engage with those are the 5 deep state deep state also I would say getting being part of everybody's life as they've progressed is also a big milestone for us sharing in everybody's achievements being able to participate people getting married people having babies people moving to new jobs so you can reach out those weddings yeah which is an announcement someone has a baby so for me just the growing I would say growing as a family and growing individually because at the end of the day we are actually all strangers apart from the 5 core people who knew each other the rest we are actually strangers so creating that family for strangers and giving us what maybe if someone feels like they would have wanted growing up because everybody's family situation is different so creating that family is important for us wow that's me see you look a bit different it's the hair yeah it's the hair it's the hair I was wondering what the heck it's the hair it's nice seeing the impact you're making especially to women you mentioned expanding what are some of these plans you're having future plans for sisterhood KE even as you mentioned the part of getting an outreach up to 45 years of age what are some of these future plans you're having for this group we definitely want to hold more physical meetups and the physical meetups in the ways of workshops having professionals come in and speak to us speak to the ladies having luncheons where we have we can get mentors for people we can actually create opportunities for people within the group we're also looking as we grow the podcast also looking to grow a website so that there's the aspect of speaking your story and also writing your story so that people who are more comfortable can type out their story and it's permanently there on our website a blog of some sort have you already come up with it no the website is in progress it's working progress looking forward to it because it's something that many need to get so here we are looking at different kinds of content will the content be different from the one we are looking at in terms of the podcast the website the website now will have a combination of everything because I want to make it for people to be able to be free in the way they communicate so if you would like to speak then speak, if you would like to write then write, then the website will have everything this is your IG page is this IG? our little Instagram page our big Instagram page thank you I will explain this sports in spo style convo food so this is actually part of the growth like you know conversations on the podcast style and in spo what can inspire fashion or whatever and then we have sports where the sisters would want to hang out recommendations where people can go for certain things so we are a baby group and we are really growing what we would like to do and it's just creating wholesome individuals wholesome in finding your fashion sense finding what you like to do and where you like to hang out finding I love what you're doing I love what you're doing keep doing it I'm seeing a link there that's to the podcast yes separate website Spotify yes guys let's build this thing up by the way you go to your own logo there yes I dread myself a leaf an olive branch and hands what does it mean tell me the symbol is in behind of course the olive branch is peace and the hands is togetherness of holding each other together and it's basically just holding hands helping each other yes sisterhood I want to submit this conversation to a close and I'm told that there's something if we can bring it up as we bring this conversation to a close once it's ready Abdul let me know but I want to give you time to have a final word to talk to your sisters out there alright but what I'm about to bring up Abdul should I mention it or you can let me know what is that that you're bringing up when you're ready you will let me know I want you to have a final word talk to your sisters watching it today what would be your parting show to them please join us I would say it's important to have a space to speak would love to have you would love to listen to what you have to say would love to appreciate what you bring to the table and would love to grow with you and be part of your journey alright thank you so much keep doing what you're doing keep doing what you're doing I love the work that you have started and of course we encourage everybody who is watching to get a hold of her and as I mentioned earlier on he is on Instagram how can people get a hold of you just as we bring this to a close you can get a hold of me at the sisterhood ke or my personal Instagram at underscore Shufa and that's SHUFAA SHUFAA alright sister do you call her sister? yes we do imagine me guest I'm actually sister shu alright thank you so much for that I wish you the best looking forward to seeing great things definitely and once you come up with that website come back again I will mental health very important definitely and that is what brings us to the end of this particular discussion right here on why in the morning it has been a pleasure being with you right here my name is Ram Maguko it's all about matters concerning mental health right here on why in the morning what are you doing to promote your mental health who are you talking to are you getting solutions are they telling you what is your environment what is your Shufa the best place to be get a hold of her my name is Ram Maguko it's a pleasure being with you we are taking a short break we'll be back with more right here on why in the morning