 That moment when you are completely overcome by the urge to self-harm or to kill yourself is so hard and There's loads of great advice out there, and I've got a safety planning video about how we try and manage that but actually the hardest and most important bit is just getting through that first minute and It's also helpful to remember that you only ever have to get through the next minute So if you can put in place some strategies that help you just to get through the next 60 seconds Then you can think about the rest because sometimes the idea of the rest of the hour the rest of the day The rest of forever is too huge But the idea of just getting through the first 60 seconds feels more manageable And sure then you think about the next 60 seconds and the next and so on but in the first instance It's just the first 60 seconds So in this video I'm going to share 10 ideas that other people who struggle with self-harm and thoughts of suicide Have told me that they use for getting through the first minute and some of them sound a bit odd a bit You know they might sound a bit frivolous, but actually it's really whatever works for you It's whatever you can do in that moment when everything feels too hard just to get through the next minute So the first one is just literally to set a timer So I have a watch with a second timer on it and sometimes if I'm struggling I just literally give myself a minute you could equally carry an egg timer or you can use a timer on your phone But just literally have 60 seconds give yourself 60 seconds and say I'm not going to harm myself until 60 seconds are up And then I'm going to see how I feel after 60 seconds So the first one is literally give yourself a minute and the next one is things to do with counting So counting from 1 to 100 or 100 to 1 backwards or you might count to 100 in threes anything That's kind of counting so that's really easy You don't need anything to be able to do it and it can distract you somewhat The reason why you might count in threes or something like that is because it makes it that little bit more complicated Which kind of takes us on to number three Which someone told me they recite their times tables So they'll literally do their ones and then the twos and then the threes and then the fours and then their fives And they use that to distract them and they said that because they've learnt them like by rote as a kid And then it had a kind of cadence and rhythm to it that they found sort of really reassuring And made them kind of feel safe and it gave them something that could distract them for a minute or two The next one is to listen to a piece of music a song a track a tune that you like And just give yourself the length of that piece of music in order to maybe feel just a little bit better And you might equally create playlists for this kind of moment And you might you know play one song and then perhaps continue on and see if you can manage two three four The next one feels a little bit unlikely and that is to play candy crush or another game And the reason why I suggest that is because you often will have that to hand and something like candy crush Which is really easy and quite addictive can be quite good because you don't need like lots of bandwidth in order to engage with the game In order to be able to do it But it can quite quickly absorb your attention and once you've like played one level often you want to kind of carry on Because you know these the people who make these games are really clever and the same thing that can make you stay up till three In the morning playing candy crush That is the same thing that can maybe help you get through the next minute the next five the next ten minutes And because you're so absorbed in the game So having a game on your phone and that's kind of mindless and you know you find a little bit addictive That can be a great thing to turn to in those difficult moments Next is to read the page of a book. It doesn't have to be a book But I really love to read fiction and I've always got my kindle to hand So I might read a page or two of my kindle or I might listen I listen to audible and I might listen to a minute or two of audible. I find them really soothing those audio books Equally, I might just pick up anything to hand and just read it So the act of reading kind of you know focuses your mind elsewhere and it really doesn't matter What the topic is I mean great if you're part way through a book that you're really enjoying and it might absorb you That's fantastic, but equally just pick up whatever's to hand and read it could be the back of the cereal packet It doesn't really matter just something to take your attention away from the difficult thoughts and feelings Another one you could try using breathing exercises So I've shared a few different breathing exercises in the past But you might do something really simple just counting your breathing focusing in on your breathing And trying to get control of your breathing and feeling that little bit of control and trying to make things feel calmer using something like the Box breathing or the finger breathing and I'll link out to those other videos so that you can learn one of those if you Haven't learned it before Connecting with your body is another really good one So you might do a kind of grounding or body scan type exercise But you could equally very simply just go through counting and stretching each of your fingers and toes in turn So like literally one by one just feeling yourself wiggle it And feeling how it feels and then moving and doing each of your toes in turn and just being aware of your body And just taking the time to feel each part to wiggle it to stretch it to clench it that kind of thing This won't work for everyone because you might be like me and have some short hair But if you've got longer hair then one thing that somebody suggested to me was and platting and playing with your hair And yeah, she said she liked to like create little plats in her hair and she found that really tactile And would help her and she would try and create lots of little plats and then undo them And she would try and do that to kind of occupy her mind So I think that's one that could be worth trying but kind of yeah platting brushing doing your hair In some way or some other form of kind of you know self care You might do your makeup which might sound like a really odd thing to do So you're feeling like overcome with the urge to self-harm But if you enjoy makeup or you enjoy hair or maybe you enjoy kind of some sort of massage or something like that Then kind of showing that bit of kindness to self Can be like the complete opposite of self-harm and can try and sort of flip you out of that feeling Another suggestion that was made to me was somebody who said that when they overcome with this feeling and then they Unlace their shoes so they take the laces out of their shoes and then they put the laces back into their shoes And they found that you know because they always had laced shoes on this was someone who's struggling at school They would go to the toilets they would unlace and relace their shoes And they just had learned that the amount of time it took them to take the laces out and put them back in again It was kind of how long it took them to calm down And then the the final suggestion is that if you can to reach out to someone And depending on where you are and who you are and what your support network looks like that might be easier or harder But there's always someone that you can talk to and so it's worth carrying with you the the phone number of different crisis line Yes So there are various kind of websites help lines text lines that you might be able to contact and the good thing about them is They're often 24-7 so it doesn't matter if you're not able to get someone on the end of the phone But equally you might go and talk to a trusted friend or adult if you're in a situation where they're nearby You don't necessarily need to tell me yourself harming just actually just try and connect with another human being You might pick up the phone to someone you might WhatsApp or text someone make sure you've got other Backups in case they don't answer or in case it's the middle of the night So that's why it's good to have those those crisis lines In to hand as well And then the other thing is that you could connect over social media So for me sometimes if I'm really struggling and I'm finding it hard to reach out to people I feel like I don't want to be a burden to them and that kind of thing They never feel I am a burden and for the record if you feel like that It's not true that the people who care about you will always want to help you But you sometimes in that moment don't feel able to reach out But what I often have found that I can do is to reach out via social media and it doesn't necessarily have to be I'm in crisis help me but it can be you know a simple please send kittens a kind of message and People often will be incredibly kind and caring so you connect in whatever way you can With other people and yeah, that's fine the final one I just kind of thought Barry man. I just said to please send kittens Watching YouTube videos can be a great one to distract you to so you might want to save into your watch later list Videos that you know might make you smile or otherwise occupy your mind So I love watching videos of climbing my husband watches videos of squash my kids like watching morgues like whatever floats your boat And it might be you know mindless kitten videos That's totally fine. Remember here the aim is not to be saying doing something like productive and amazing with our time Is literally to get through the next minute unscathed if we can so that then hopefully We're able to put our safety planning into place So give those ideas a go and please do leave a comment letting me know what ideas work for you because I could do another Video like this in future with more ideas that you find helpful and be prepared to try different things Except that some things will work and some things won't we're all different and also accept that sometimes something will work for you One day and not another and not another day So have a few different ideas that you might turn to but always remember in those crisis moments when everything feels too hard You only ever have to get through the next minute You can think about the rest after that but just the next minute So whatever it takes to get through the next minute Good luck And if you're watching this then you're clearly either on a journey yourself Or you're supporting someone who is so either well done or thank you depending on which of those it is And I just want to offer a bit of reassurance Really it might be that things feel really difficult at the moment and you can't imagine them getting better But things have felt different in the past and they may feel different again in the future Try and stick with it Yeah, keep going. Good luck. Okay