 All right welcome back to the 21 convention up next we have our final speech for the evening and I can promise you It's gonna be an amazing speech He goes by the name of Jared psych Lawrence and he's a dating coach You may actually recognize him from MTV's show made and he's also been a five-time speaker at the event He's a master instructor with the Tao of DJ Fuji and without further ado Jared welcome to the stage Hey now. Hey now now hands off the merchandise Whoa, okay. Whoa. You need a wine and dine me before we do that Hey, it's my bubble. All right got in my bubble You are such a dork How brilliant and fun are those shit, right? How great is that stuff? Because while every other guy's out there trying to like show interest in his girl and trying to get this girl We know different We know all you got to do is be disinterested and indifferent and she'll just chase us all the way to the bedroom Won't you right? We're never gonna actually show her how we truly feel We're not going to You know give our car play our hand. We're not gonna give away our power This was my mindset for years for years. I had this mindset When I when I started getting good at this or whatever I Realized that you had to at some point show interest in a girl you had to show the girl. Why do you like her? what Actually matter if you want to make a real connection if you want to come out and Let the girl I see what is about you solidify something true You have to be able to make this happen You can't just rely on all the teasing because when you think about it it works, right? It's not bad. It's not that it doesn't work Women do like a challenge. They do like to be teased They do like the falsest qualification. They're chasing the validation. They like it all it makes a lot of sense But you can't just bank on that. It's only half the equation So what's the other half? What do you guys think what what process are we missing here? What? Qualification and why what about qualification? Why do we do qualified? What's the whole point? I want you guys to think about this Right that other half is a part that we never really think about that much We get into this and we go into the teasing we go into the you know being playful with them We screw around with them a lot, but we never go into the qualification because I don't think a lot of us understand The real reason behind it. Why do we do it? Show me that we like it show the interest All right, so I got some visual visualizations for you guys right now That's going to help demonstrate what I'm talking about so this speech is going to be on qualification and showing interest and Now when I talk about qualification, I'm not going to be talking to you guys about the qualifiers setting standards You know baiting the girl to invest Great stuff. If you have questions on that, I'm gonna break it down for you in the science, right? I love that stuff. The problem is it's out there all over the place. You can find that tons of areas I'm going to talk to you more importantly on the purpose behind qualification I'm going to talk to you about something that's drastically not expressed within this community and that is showing interest and not just showing interest but showing interest correctly Because every guy I've been working with most of you guys have seen this community There's a big fear behind that of how to show that interest We don't want to play our hands. We don't want to give away a power But at some point needs to take place now. Why does this even matter? The first reason is because it helps you have a real connection with a girl You can't if you're not real to her if you're not real in her eyes. Guess what? You're there for her amusement You're there just as a fun guy in a club. She met Right had a nice amusing time with you and then done. You're not real You might as well be just some arcade game. She played with at that time The other reason I really want to stress this first point is Because an every instructor who gets into this any guy who's been into this for a really long time It's got really good is gonna really understand this next point is that if you fail to make these real connections with women And you were constantly going out there and gaming you're gonna go to a dark place And this is something they don't warn you about that much You know a place where you stop realizing women are actually real people you're gonna go to a place where everything starts to become about manipulation about not being able to trust anyone about Just seeing you're going to more and more pessimistic about life. It fucks with your head up a lot I don't want to see you guys go down that route Remember this have those real connections. The other reason is it solidifies attraction Attractions not over until it's mutual understand that We say one more time attraction is not over until it's mutual Because what else does it look like if it's not mutual? It's not really attraction more. It's just interest I think of it as an opening door analogy You make the go giggle right you make her giggle you tease you have some fun with it Right you open the door, but she doesn't come through yet. You don't solidify it. So after you close the door Oh, I'm gonna role play. I'm gonna do some fun stuff and be energetic. You open the door and close the door on her again I'm gonna DHV. I'm gonna do all my stories I'm gonna do my cold reads to open the door, but you're not getting her through you're not making that connection actually happened You're just opening the door forward to happen. If you want to solidify attraction you have to show interest a correct way The other thing is how many people here have dealt with the flaking have dealt with Thank you have dealt with the flakes that would I don't know how to do phone game or the text game Doing the dates all of that stuff. It's not the phone game. It's not your How you said how you setting up on everything right the problem is Why would she want to go out with you again? Yeah, she likes you problem is she likes a lot of people she gets attracted to guys Continuously over and over she probably got attracted to ten guys that night But she doesn't have time to go out with every single one of you. You aren't real. You're not in her world yet Right if you haven't solidified attraction by making a real connection by showing her that you are interested in her as a person Something that she would think you know what I do want to invest in this guy because he's generally interested in me Why would she meet up with you again? Oh? Yeah, you want to fuck me? Well, guess what? Which guy in here wouldn't want to fuck the hot girl? Do you think she really has a scarcity problem with that? It's different for us So if you want to get rid of that stuff solidify the attraction LMR same thing. How many people here deal with LMR? You get the girl or give resistance you get that girl and you're trying to escalate last on LMR's last minute of resistance after anyone doesn't know Show her the interest why she give you LMR. Why is she holding out because it's a gamble? I remember a speaker who's I said this and it was brilliant. He said LMR for a girl the clear example is It's a roulette table It's like putting your entire life saving on Red and a roulette table and just watch watching it spin around It could be pay great payoff or it can go really horrible, right? That's a big thing to go the way you can make the girl feel sure about that bet is if she knows you're actually interested in her She's not gonna put up that much resistance if she knows there's a mutual attraction that's taking place So when it gets to interest I want to actually define five types of interest It's not just one of those general things really I'm gonna show interest. I don't show interest. There are five types of interest I'm gonna be talking about for you guys some of them are good and some of them are bad and The ones we're all always worried about are those bad ones that I'm going to introduce to you I'm gonna show you how to avoid that and then I'm gonna show you how to do the good ones properly sound good Thank you sound good Okay, there we go We're awake here All right meet Walter We know this Walter's got the purse here with his lovely female friend here Now Walter is a patient guy right? He knows that the way to play this game is just a lay low take his time and Everything will just work out for him. He's a sweet guy and he knows because he's a sweet guy That she will eventually see pass all the douchebags that she dates and recognize him for how great he truly is Because his philosophy is one day it will just happen So why ever try to make a move because that would just ruin the flow. He's doing so great He's got all this time in with her until then Walter is just going to enjoy smelling her hair every time she gets close by now Our good friend Walter here. What kind of interest does he usually show would you say take a guess? Friends what's the word for friend? Platonic The first kind of bad interest is platonic interest now What are the characters platonic interest the nice guy now? There's no problem being a nice guy I think of myself as a nice guy, but there's a difference between being the pushover a nice guy and A nice guy with your own personal boundaries All right, the nice guys at Walter's case is like oh, let me hold your purse for you because I know you're such a frail Lovely creature. You can't even hold your damn purse right? It's too much When you go out of when you try to be nice where it's a detriment to yourself Out of your way I can a continual basis with nothing in return. Guess what you're of Walter The other thing is he's an orbiter. He believes he has a chance. He believes if I just stick around there's something That's going to happen Let me just keep sticking around Right other guys are talking to her, but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna be right here and then she'll learn she'll eventually realize it Understand that now. There's nothing wrong with having a female friend. I encourage it I have go so far as to say if you don't have five real female friends That should be your focus right now not trying to go out and you know have a bunch of sex whatever have that around you But at the same time realize that going in the friend zone should be your choice not something that has to happen to you That you fall into that's your choice So don't be that orbiter the other thing about the platonic interest guys. He's a counselor, right? Tell me your story. Oh, he was mean to you tell me about it. Okay, you can crop my shoulder. Come here It's okay, right. Let me just let me just ease you through this He's a counselor right unless she's paying you a hundred dollars an hour for this then no You don't have to be her counselor Because that's what her girlfriends are for All she's doing is dumping her emotional baggage on you and then you're gonna get the you're the best hug And you're done right It doesn't serve your purpose all that showing is I like you as a friend. I'm here for you I'm here for you, which is fine. If you're her friend. That's good. That's what friends do But not if you want to be a guy. She's gonna be attracted to Perfect for her friend. I love it every Walter out there. I The girls like I wouldn't sleep with him. I don't want him, but oh, he'd be perfect for my friends Really, why would he be perfect your friends? He's such a sweet guy. Oh, would you sleep with him? Oh God, no What? No, no, I would never do that. Well, why because it's not like that. It's we're friends All right, well, why do you think your friends want to sleep with him, right? Because here's the thing Girls will see that Walter is the nice guy and they'll think you know what other girls would like him Actually, don't don't change him. He's gonna be easy. He's a great guy just the way he is just be yourself Right, just be yourself and it'll be fine. He's so sweet prom is No friends want the guy that their friends don't want Put it that way Do you want the girl that I don't want to get with do you want to be the guy of your friends? All your friends are like I wouldn't bang her for you, bro right Who wants that? Right, you wouldn't do that yourself the same thing all the friends are good all their girls You'll be looking like sweet guy perfect for my friend. I wouldn't touch him So overall what is Walter? He's the wuss Plain and simple Again, not because being a friend with girls is a wussy thing you should have female friends But thinking going down that route is going to get you with her I built a traction with her. That's a wussy mentality. I want to make that clear Now let's meet another friend of mine We're going to meet Jimmy now Jimmy is a virgin who currently lives in his mother's basement, but that doesn't stop Jimmy because he knows he's a lady's man He knows that if as long as he just keeps hollering enough girls and offering them a ride on mr. Pokie They'll just come around The thing with Jimmy is right now girls are usually telling him to get lost every time he talks to them But he knows eventually I lost my number. Can I have yours? Well one day work? All right, that's our Frank Jimmy. What kind of interest do you think Jimmy usually shows the girls? What not sexual? Creepy what okay? What is he ooze off? He's just needy desperate. All right This guy's just desperate. You can feel it off him So this desperate intro and creepies part of that so the first part I've shown desperate into the first thing you feel when you see something desperately interesting you it's just creepy Right. I'm telling you right now. That is a death sentence label for attraction. If a girl labels you as creepy You're done All right That is the death sentence Because creepy is everything attraction is not you want to get away from it and make your skin crawl, right? You think I don't know what's gonna happen. He might rape me and kill me or something He's just a creepiest guy ever right and The thing the reason why it's creepy is because it's obviously he wants something from her People avoid those who obviously want something from you The other thing is because it's try hard if he has his stuff together. He wouldn't need to be that try hard He would need to be the one who's like, you know just really try to hit on everything and I lost my number Can't be yours. He's doing just ridiculous stuff to get with this girl and it's obvious it's transparent Now God bless him, you know up at least Jimmy's trying at least he's putting himself out there And you know what maybe he'll even get laid every now and then I guarantee you Jimmy probably will get something But it doesn't change the fact that he's still desperate. He's still being try hard The other things that sub communicates is low social status Anyone who's creepy try hard anyone who's acting like a Jimmy? It's very transparent. You're from a low social ladder. You're low social status and the girl would align with that kind of guy It's gonna lower her social status among everyone. She knows It's kind of like I hate to say it but let's say you got the fat pimply face girl Right and you start day and show it all your friends like look what I got man. That's like, okay But hey, awesome, or you just get a creepy girl for you forget looks What if he's got a really creepy weird girl, right every time you introduce her to a friend. She's like How you guys doing It's a cool, right? It's like dude. What the fuck are you doing with her? Why are you with that chick and low is your social status? So he leeches that's all that we just went straight it leeches off of her The other thing is it's obvious this guy is low self-esteem. I don't care what front he puts up. Yeah, I'm a ladies man Yeah, I stick my head back man. I'm baller, right? It's obvious It's transparent because anyone with any self-worth with any kind of self-esteem isn't gonna be the creepy try hard guy Who has obviously no social status That's a deep root inner game thing that he would have to work on this guy So overall, what's the clear thing that a girl would think which he sees a Jimmy the loser? These are the two types of interest that are gonna blow it This is what we always want to avoid right because we're like I don't want to be like the other guys What do we mean by that? What do the other guys do in the clubs and stuff? We associate them with the Jimmy with the desperate interest. Hey, baby. What's going on? I just want to talk to you good come here, right? It's desperate interest. I don't want to show that I don't want to show I like her because it could be platonic. It could be bad, right? So these are the two key kinds of interest that we always want to avoid Now why these don't work is the first reason is because it communicates that you are beneath her It shows that you're not at her level you're screaming it at her The woods planning interest I'm not worthy enough to try to make a move on you the desperate guys like oh Try hard, you know, I don't really think I have a legitimate chance of getting you so let me just try to be creepy about it She feels that you're beneath her it also shows that you're invested way more than she is and that's gonna put her off Again that try a hard mentality you're just constantly investing in this girl and she's not reciprocating or giving anything back Another one. This is huge is a scarcity mindset If there's a key mindset that I could just like put into you guys and still you that would make you better with women in general It's the mindset of abundance If you truly felt that you truly had this mindset of abundance for example If you had 15 gorgeous girls at home waiting for you whenever you want, right? How would you feel talking to some girl out on the street? Would you be nervous about it? Would you think oh my god? I'm such a loser and now to go back to my 15 gorgeous girlfriends Right without even thought even coming to your head You have to you think if you have to get rejected by some girl who's like a sense like I know you're old and creepy, okay? Right Sure, I'm just going back to my mansion like a thousand playboy buddies right now. That's fine, right? It doesn't come to their heads. They have abundance. What if you don't even have the 15 girls What if you're a guy that just knows there's so many women out there, right and you can get any one of them And you just know if I go out tonight. I'm gonna meet a girl. It's gonna go fine That's abundance. These guys lack that they have a scarcity. They realize oh sure I might not be able to get this girl The other key thing is it's emotionally non stimulating although give me might be a little stimulating food You pointed out to me Jimmy might be a little bit stimulating but not in a good way at all You don't be creepy stimulating But the point is they're not emotionally they're mostly not stimulating every girl knows guys who desperate for them every hot girl Knows a guy's desperate with them. They see it. They know it but tonic. Oh, I'll be nice to you. Okay, cool It's boring. There's no emotional spikes. It doesn't get them excited at all So a lot of stuff you learn is how to be stimulated The only use we have for these kind of interests is to frame other guys As far as a mug or anything like that when you're dealing with other guys The best thing is to frame them as one of these two types of interest. He's desperate or he's friendly He's nice guys platonic Harmless platonic or desperate right if you frame some other guys one of these two things. It's a death sentence for him That's literally the only use we have for these So what does work? What can we use? Well meet Ben Ben knows at an early age that he needed to keep women on their toes and keep them guessing what the next thing is He has no problem telling a girl. I like you but not before he lets her know what a big dork She is at the same time. He's pulling her in close to him He's looking in the other way with a not a care on his shoulder While he's looking you're dead in the eye and smiling. He's backing away slowly sending those mixed signals The girls can't figure him out ever no girl can but it doesn't stop them from constantly trying So what kind of interest is Ben always showing? Push okay good. And what is push pull? What is that interest that show that's a tactic? What? Catching through and bit mix ambiguous interest right you don't know The ambiguous interest right Now what is ambiguous interest? What is it exactly? Well first? It's mixed signals clearly Go doesn't know what the hell's going on here. Oh, he's into me. I got it. No, he's not. Oh, I've got these into Oh, no, he's not right. It's emotionally stimulated. It gets them on your toes like shit I don't do I have him. Oh, I got him in my pocket. Oh, why is he going away now? He's not calling me. Oh, okay, but what I did it was we just went so great He loves me. Oh wait, but now he's talking to that other girl. I don't know what's going on They don't know what the hell's going on. So it's that mixed signals. The other thing is it's a challenge Right if I've learned a key thing here, I know women like sex, but another thing I know is they love a challenge Right because so many guys with that desperate interest guy They they're just constantly coming up to them when you got a guy that's a little bit different They can present that challenge. It's exciting now. It's fun. It's stimulating The other thing is it toys with the validation Now you can take this to a little bit of dark place, but on the light side of things It's fun for the girl a little bit Right. It's like, oh, does she like me does he not? Oh, what's that my girlfriend's about? I don't know It's it could be fun for her playing with that now what What my friend Ben here is he's a flirt, right? This is the art of flirting This is that fun stuff that most of us do and it's usually the kind of interest you want to show in a very beginning That kind of interest we play with Usually the beginning now how do we go about doing it properly the key one who said push pull this guy? He's smart The first one is push pull the biggest thing though is most guys to horribly don't know how to do push pull properly They don't understand it Correctly most people even know what real push pull actually is so I'm going to kind of just Briefly to find a little bit for you push pull is showing the ambiguous interest in the girl and then the playful disinterest Simultaneously now this could be done Verbally, but oh my god. You're either the coolest girl ever or the weirdest girl. I don't know yet Right, you know verbally or it could be done with a mix of verbals and nonverbals. Oh my god You're such a dork right and you hug her So there's different ways of doing it But the key thing is it's ambiguous interest and playful disinterest what a lot of people do is they go to the extremes So a lot of guys do is don't show them biggest interest. They show clear like I love you, right? This is just heavy interest in this girl and their disinterest is found salty Their disinterest is not playful. They the real things are disinterested. So a push pull actually a lot of guys is I love you Even though you're fucking slut Like whoa Where did that come from right? It's too much they go too far on the extreme So you want to tear it in now rapport cycling is pretty much very similar push pull with one little key difference It's done over a longer space of time report cycling is when we start building rapport with a girl and then we break that rapport Break rapport just means to make it lightly uncomfortable. We can do it sexually we can do it playfully Whatever it is, right? We build rapport there and then we break it and we rebuild it We break it again, and you can do this over longer periods of time Just like push pull though You can go to extreme rapport cycling a rapport building can be taking the stream of rapport seeking Report breaking can be taking the stream of rapport severing again It's just super heavy interest and super heavy disinterest. We want to tone it down in both ends The more we get in the middle the better it's going the more ambiguous we're getting now, okay with both of them Another way to do it is just unclear wording ambiguous statements such as you're adorable What does that mean? Is that platonic or is that he's actually likes me? I Must say you are something I'm so I'm so is that is that good? Do I want to be something? Being around you is turning into a very interesting night You seem really different for most girls different. How? What do you mean different, right? It leaves a question. Well, what does he mean by this? What are these things is as good or is this bad now? What's she gonna do? She's gonna ask you what does that mean is that good and you're gonna have one simple answer And you're gonna drive her crazy with this, but it's great. All you're gonna say is it is what it is But is that good it is what it is And just that confused by the question. I don't know it's just it is what it is. I mean you you are something I don't know. It's just that that's what I mean Drives are crazy, but just stick to that answer. It's amazing. All right Now the next guy let's meet a new friend here. Oh Hunter I mean Hunter out. Yeah. Yeah, all the ladies are getting excited by Hunter already Now my friend Hunter here. He doesn't play games with the girl because he's too busy having sex now See Hunter Hunter realizes that he has something women want and by owning his sexual desire He gets them going his favorite activities includes making the girls blush getting them breathing hard and flustering them to death right He owns that sexual desire now. What kind of interest do we think hunter shows when he talks to a girl? Sexual right pure unadulterated on a polygenically sexual Now we first someone said it was when we saw Jimmy someone said oh sexual interest Sexual interest is not bad Desperate interest is bad. I want you to clearly understand that difference. That was a big thing back in 2006-2007 no one knew how to show sexual interest properly until it was like s1 or like I was back in like The bedroom really like we didn't show sexual just tells like in the bedrooms. I by the way I do have a penis It's like so what we quickly realized is that we would distinguish a difference between desperate and sexual interest Wow things got really going a lot better and a lot quicker So sexual interest what actually is it first off? It's masculine. It's owning your masculine energy It's be a motive. What is masculine traits? What do you think masculine? What's the first thing you think of? What is a masculine guy? Confident and what is the projection of confidence? Decisive and dominant right decide all word confident size of dominant These kind of things show the sexual and energy on a polygenic. He doesn't care Hunter don't play no game The other thing is for the group from the girls at an endpoint. He gets them flustered, right? He gives him that thrill guys don't do that girls are usually used to flushing the guys. Oh, thanks Walter. Oh Right flushes the guys Imagine flipping the script on them saying things and doing things that just get him like oh my god I can't believe he said that Right get some amazed by it The other thing is to build sexual tension now. This is something that's gonna be scary when you first start doing I always avoided I would start building I would freak out to stop now. I bask in I love sexual tension How do you about doing sexual tension by the way? Well, there's a few key ways you can save sexual things Prolonged eye contact breaching personal space prolonged touch. There's lots of ways we can use sexual tension to our advantage and The whole portion of tensions gets them aroused and that's why Hunter is the arouser I'll tell you right now if you got a girl aroused everything else is a piece of cake So how do we show sexual interest correctly the first is more aggressive Kino Now I mean aggressive Kino I don't mean just like throwing yourself that or like humping. No, we're not doing something like that Aggressive Kino is basically not being a guy that touches a girl like this Little spider fingers, right? There's something like that It's actually if you're gonna put your hand around a girl like go up for example, but I'm just hover hand calm All right. No, you pull her in and all your touches are confident. They're dominant. You're not worried about it You're gonna take her hand you take her hand if you put your arm around you put your arm around here That's really aggressive. He does it in a confident way. He does it without fear Another way is sexual innuendo is a misinterpretation if anything if the girls is anything gives him anything where he can Show are you gonna turn the topic to sex? All the better All right, that's what she said clear example of the misinterpretation stuff But he'll take anything to sex and when you get those topics going with misinterpreted and misinterpretation and sexual innuendos You get sex on her head if you get sex going our mind early on Things to becoming a lot more interesting sets. You have a lot more fun in your sets All right, next one is statements of intent. I'm actually now I've heard about seeming to tend a long time ago, but it was kind of one of those vague Things you're just like yeah, just let the girl know you like her make a statement of intent I think the only example we have was like you are sexy Right that was like that was it. We all we have like this. I'm not everyone's like I'm not using that shit However, I am gonna give credit where credit is due I learned a lot about statements of intent correctly from my boy sin and Some of these are basically come from him. I love these. I've incorporated these in my game tremendously All right, and if you're not using these you're losing out on a big chunk of game that you can be doing For the new guys, it's gonna push your comfort zone for newbies. It's going to show you that it give you the permission Yes, I can be sexual. Yes. I can build sexual confidence for you advanced guys that are already kind of effective. This is how you get efficient You want to do things a lot quicker and you want to make things hit harder get your SOIs down Now I'll give some examples one is I tell you what I'm thinking now, but it's really inappropriate Another one I Mean that even though I'm totally hitting on you You can't do that and not expect me to get into your pants. I I FYI by the way, I'm gonna be kissing you later. Just letting you know putting out there, right? Throwing these statements right out there. Now, of course The girl might battle that a little bit, right? She'll either get flustered like oh my god Or if she's a little bit more confident she might battle that would be like, oh, you're kind of sure yourself, huh? Or or you're kind of You think highly of yourself and you and your answer every time just like the last one is gonna be we'll see We'll see I'm very charming All right, we'll see the night's still young All right, but you know I'm gonna kiss you. Oh, you think so, huh? No, no, I know so really well We'll see the night's young Right it shows that you're that's that's what it means, right? You hear that term unapologetically sexual and the people don't really know what that means It's like I'll just be sexual. That's what it means I don't backtrack if she should test me on it if she comes at me I'm holding my ground nothing changes A lot of time I used to do a very kind of an indirect style But I tell you one thing it once I make that move to I'm being properly direct with a girl. There's no going back You either start direct or if you're going from indirect to direct once you make that move you do not go back Because all that means is you're a wuss You sure that own it Let's now meet Edward. I know that's very cheesy obviously, but let's meet Edward Edward ever since he's you know all the time he meets women. He always makes him fall for him the poor man He just can't help it Maybe it's because he sincerely enjoys every interaction he has with a girl and truly has a love for all women He sees his affection as a gift that women will truly enjoy and he has no problem giving them what they want Christmas always comes early All right Now a friend Edward what kind of interest do we think he's showing? Romantic, yeah Keith it but what if you want to be romantic, but you still want to show a certain kind of interest it is romantic It is romantic. I debated what I want to call it. However, I know another way of thinking about it is just genuine If you like a girl be genuine about it Obviously that falls into romantic can be romantic because you if you want to make a connection there other than sexual It can go romantic, right? But if you like a girl genuinely you can show that So genuine interest, what does genuine interest do? And that's all put that's a big thing with qualifications specifically is qualification will separate you from when you show interest as a guy who shows Normal our desperate interest to genuine interest because genuine trust shows that you know her You understand this girl. I'm gonna tell you a story Back when I was a Vegas poll I guess am I back when I was in Vegas I Meet the girl and I bring her back to my room and Things are heating up and one of the things she says to me. He's like, oh, we're going a little too fast. You don't even know me Now what would you say to that? How do you respond to a statement like that? Who what would you do you're in the room? I want to ask you're in the room you're in the room and The girl says wait, we're going to fat. You don't even know me. How would you respond? Come on? Back off that you're right Freeze out You don't know what to do, right? I mean, it's kind of hard. It's kind of like you that's all that's really all we have You've got to freeze up like okay, you kind of right. I'll back off a little bit me try again a little bit later on, right? Here's what I said You think I don't know you? Honey, you just came from Toronto to Vegas because you want to pursue a career in acting But you fit round up going into veterinary school even though you don't truly like it But you spent the last four years working at PhD of yours Your Virgo which you pretty much told me means you're a very analytical person, which I can clearly see But you're also have that core spiritual side because of all those retreats used to go on and that when you really heavily into Buddhism Now I also know you're really strong an independent girl because at an early age You're only at the age of 14 you had to deal with both your parents dying and that's not easy on anyone Now I just want to ask you again. Do you really feel like I don't know you? You know what a reaction was Speechless, I remember exactly said but I literally said everything one of why two things one because I did qualify because I did get information out of her I got to know her Throughout the whole time. I was with her it wasn't like I was just drilling her the whole time These were information I got from her throughout the whole night. I was qualifying here. I learned this I learned this later on I learned this and the other thing I did is I actually listened Wasn't in my head thinking always my next fucking routine going to be okay when she said some bullshit about her parents Okay, and I'm gonna cube her right No, I actually was listening what she gave me and that saved me. I didn't have to freeze out. I didn't have to back off She understood that I knew her and it was done. I'll am are over The other things into interest does is it shows that you have a valuable and sincere affection Right, otherwise any guys trying to give their affection. Oh, I like you'll take you out for flowers to do other stuff Right, but why it's not valuable any guy will give that up. She worked for this. She qualified herself She worked for your affection That means your interest is now valuable. That's something she cares about. She wants a girl to say she likes a guy She wants him to like her She wants that affection back Now you can use that you can use that to your advantage very heavily By using as a reward system, right? You can let the girl know that yet the more we do the more affection we give back It's reciprocal You can also do that by making solidifying that mutual attraction heavily I think too much of us are scared to put ourselves on a line with that We're too scared to actually show a girl that we like her because we think it'll blow the whole thing out But at some point that's only going to make it that much stronger. You have to change gears You can't stay in first gear forever Now where does that come from? Well, I'm gonna I want to prove to you why a genuine interest is so important It comes from evolutionary psychology. That's where the whole slut factor comes from Right Let's go back to caveman times if a girl gave it up to a guy that didn't care for her that truly didn't like her Where would she be in life? She's gonna be alone with a kid without any resources and no protection They had to learn early on to save that to be careful of what happened in those caveman times and they did give it up They better make sure it's a guy that stuck around and watched out for them because they didn't they're dead and so is her kid So how do they screen for that? They had to screen for the guys that just wanted one thing to the guys I wanted the real thing they need to know that this guy actually Carries about me if I'm gonna give it up. He needs to care about me. That's where that red factor comes in Am I giving up too soon? Well, I lose everything or he's gonna be one of the most rewarding fun experience of my life That's what goes through their head So Genuine interest what does that make Edward it makes him the real deal It makes him the guy that the girls gonna go back and brag to her friends about and their friends are gonna encourage her to Go on dates with that guy answer him when he calls Don't play games with that guy If you got girls who are constantly playing games and it happens to the best of you know girls play games Just like we do Happens, but if you want to reduce that tremendously if she feels it's on it's real They don't want to play games either. They feel they have to just like we feel we have to So how do we show this genuine interest correctly? There's a big one with qualification this first thing alone it will hopefully change the entire way you do qualification Qualify a girl right you you you throw the bait out she hooks with whatever she says Then you've got to reel her in right? We all learn this bait hook real release crap So you got it so you show you so you reel her in right and the real is we have to show interest in her now How does everybody do that? Oh? awesome high-five oh That's so cool There's props. Oh, that's awesome. All right cool next thing What did that show? What did that really show? I like you cool All I'm gonna do is introduce one word To how you reward her when she qualifies to you and watch how things change Because One word I like you because and then fill in the blank Watch how things change with her because now it's genuine now you have to think oh, I'm a doctor Oh your doctor awesome high-five, right? It doesn't say anything why you like her you're a doctor. Oh, I love that because You better think of something Why do you like a doctor and if you don't like it if there's nothing if you don't got anything well if I harder Oh, you're a doctor really why'd you get it becoming a doctor? Well, I'm really you know kind of family-oriented and my parents kind of pushed me that direction I wanted to please my parents wow, that's so cool because I It's really rare you meet in like South Beach and you know Miami scene someone who's actually a family-oriented girl Somebody who cares about that kind of stuff and somebody's driven enough and has a commitment It takes to actually achieve those goals of becoming a doctor. That's not a hard field to go into I Get I give it up for you Whoa, it's a lot more powerful than going that's awesome high-five Right things change up a lot when you do this one word because Because I always want to do it all right the other reason our genuine interests relate to her world We never do that we get in our heads and we think let me just talk about the stuff I want to talk about she's got to go into it right that's not even a community thing That's just a guy thing personally biggest thing I see what my female friends is guys don't ever give a shit what I'm talking about They don't want to listen to me. They just about they want to talk about it Just not my head and go okay, right? All the time from the girls. That's just a guy thing However, if you relate to her world She will love she will be like oh my god that I need this guy think of this I'm gonna put I'm gonna reverse this imagine you meet a girl and she goes I love self-help right I love guys I'd go out and try to better themselves I love the club so you know I love guys who go out and there's just socially open or down being new people Nothing, you know makes me more attractive than that It's not like a girl. You're gonna think fucking ding ding ding Right any guy here she can relate to your world you probably like well this is convention I go I could probably show you taking this thing right she probably might even love this Imagine a girl who loved the fact that you're doing this all right, and she was just into your what it What's the hobby you're into other than pick up and whatnot? Yeah Right now. I'm sure you would hate to know a girl that loves boating I'm sure I'm sure if a girl talked about boating with you You'd just be bored off your mind and you'd be like get the fuck away from me Right and how much would you like talking about that to her? So why can't we do that with them? Sometimes it's not about what you say it's about what you let her to say She'll love it It's the same thing. It's the same exact Concept relate to her world and let her bring it out me and auntie at a funny thing Sometimes the biggest thing we have to teach them guys. It's just shut the fuck up That's it. It's like just be quiet Let her talk it's a big thing to teach them guys The other thing genuine interest is actually being impressed with the girl showing her how she stands out amongst everyone else You want to show how you're not desperate and you can show real genuine interest Show her show that she stands out amongst everyone else around there and that you're impressed with her uniquely her That will key in her eyes that this guy's generally interested in me However, we're gonna let you guys know right now that This might be one of the hardest things for you to do This is not an easy time. It sounds easy when I just say like just do this, right? Uh When I through my whole progression through pick up or whatever you want to call it through, you know going out meeting women I Had to go out and push my comfort zone by doing crazy things. I had to develop social balls and I was hard I had to deal with countless of Rejections and flaking girls and girls who were just rude and bitchy and hurtful to me I had to deal with getting over that approach anxiety. That is difficult I had to do hundreds if not a thousand approaches to reduce approach anxiety to an extreme to an imaginable level All those things are incredibly hard But I'm gonna tell you right now The same single hardest thing I had to ever deal with was once I built this psych persona up To realize the next phase of my evolution in this was to tear him down and have Jared actually do a real approach To put myself on a line raw bear and vulnerable I've never been more nervous in my life. I have never been more scared That will be the hardest thing you would ever have to do But that's when you make a real connection That's when you can create mutual attraction That's when you can actually enjoy the game the way it's meant to be enjoyed That's when the magic happens I'm Jared psych. Thank you guys