 Yeah, y'all check out my mentor doc life Hey, I wanted to pop on here just cuz I was sitting here. I just shot a little short video But I'm got a little time today cuz me and some guys going over to the NBA game for a little you know guys night at the game and We don't leave for a couple hours. So I got about an hour So I just wanted to come on here because sometimes it's a little easier to shoot a video this way Then shooting the whole video and then trying to upload the video So I'm gonna just be turning on and going live and just streaming sometimes and it's random times I got to do it when I could do it. I know y'all be working a lot of people be working but some people working from home and Just want to pop in and just do look, you know different topics that I'll be thinking about and On Fridays is man to man. That's why I wrote this topic because I try to only about five percent of my youtube subscribers are men Now more than that watch And I noticed this because it's been a lot of guys as i'm out and about that's been Recognizing me And coming up to me talking to me shaking my hand and you know, hey you a motive you the motivation to speak from instagram or stuff like that and It's kind of like with with men men will look and listen and admire Ramona. God bless you now and Not really say a whole lot and a lot of times women Will say well, where are the men at? Where are the men at? But we have I heard ziggler say a long time ago. He said an average. He said studies show The average woman speaks 25 000 words a day And the average man speaks 10 000 words a day and That may be different for different men based on where you were born how you was raised My son was two and a half months early. He was he born april 26 and he talked my head off. He talked talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk He talked talk talk talk talk talk talk. He do not stop talking. I don't know what it is with his brain I don't know if it's because he read so many books. He didn't read over 400 books In his life and that's probably a underestimating But he talked talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk unless he on his phone looking at something on his phone My 14 year old he is talking My eight year old son, he don't talk a whole lot. He'll talk to you and you know, he talked when he needed to talk But when we in the car, he'll just ride At eight years old, he would just ride and he would look out the window and that's how I was My 14 year old when he was eight. I remember one time I tried to ask him to stop talking It's just totally different. But I was just I dropped my my wife daily driver off to get an oil change and all this stuff And they got a shuttle that'll bring you home and the man who was bringing me home. He's he's uh, Puerto Rican Puerto Rican As my grandma said a Puerto Rico And so he's a Puerto Rican and he was talking talking talking talking talking and he was telling me his testimony And He found Christ 13 years ago. And I think he 59 or something. He said And he was telling me his testimony and when I heard him talking Now he driving me home and he talking and I was in a uber or a lift about a week ago or something and a guy Was driving and he was talking And I remember I was in DC. I had a guy a Nigerian man who was driving And he was talking And one thing I realized is that men don't get to talk enough So if you got a son Let your son talk as much as he could talk If you got a boyfriend fiance husband Let that man talk as much as he could talk And get that man to talk This one of my mentees from basketball Just text me Get that man to talk him And let let him talk and I'm gonna be honest with you If if y'all ladies and even Men who got sons Could get me into talking more Men will be more well rounded The young man that I'm that just wrote me. I'm gonna talk to him and I'm gonna share something with him that I learned in college playing college football I didn't understand my countenance Of forcing myself to be quiet and forcing myself to be solemn faced And forcing myself to be serious Was crushing me was ruining me Was ruining my chances ruining my opportunity and was hindering me from Realizing my fullest potential. I didn't realize that as a man But as men we talked so much to be reserved and to be quiet and Big big boys don't cry That men don't cry and men Don't need to be talking and don't need to be and so we we bottle it up and we hold so much in That we'll mesh round And we'll do what what will did on that show and that's from And he talked a lot now and still Had a lot bottled up and that's that's how we are. We will bottle it up until we We go off the handle and I done it several times I know a lot of men have done that and it's something that we got to start thinking about The state of manhood and really understanding how fluid manhood is And not just boxing manhood in and just saying hey This is what manhood is and this is the only thing it can be But really getting to a place to where We can be Understanding that it's different types of men And that a man who expresses himself a lot a man who is emotional a man who will cry Is just as much of a man and just as real as a man who does not really talk And It's more to a man Than what meets the eye obviously so But a lot of times I notice a woman will look at a man And a woman will look at a man who is Expressive and who shares his heart who may cry Who may say his feelings or have been hurt who may Express what he is going through what he's feeling And a woman may take in uh Hold on right quick Y'all forgive me. I was trying to put a phone on do not stir because I don't know what to do Maryland say the live freezing The live freezing for anybody else I just frozen myself right there but um I had frozen myself right there to put the thing on Maryland um could be you could be your service Maryland could be in a bad service area if it's not mine Okay Yep, Maryland that might be that cricket That cricket and so Now What I was saying before Maryland told me the live was freezing She ain't mean no harm by it Oh, I was describing so what I noticed is is a woman may look at a man Who was expressive? And who is sharing his heart? A man who may cry a man who may say my feelings are hurt And a woman may look at that man and say Oh you soft you soft and Then may look at a man who Will take in Say nothing and let everything just let everything go as oh You strong or you emotionally intelligent And we will label and box in And so but what I have learned is that A lot of times when a man is giving his all And he's all the way in He's going to be expressive And he's going to articulate because he wants the situation To be at its best and then a man who is Not expressive And who may not ever have an issue Who may let everything slide it doesn't mean that it doesn't necessarily mean he's emotionally intelligent What it could mean is that he has a private outlet So listen, uh, cold rock god bless you now. So what I mean by that is a man who Is in a relationship But he is heavily into nasty movies And he has a side woman You may not hear complaints And town hall meetings from that man because he takes his frustration out when he With his mistress With his woman on the side And but a woman will say oh, he'll give me no problems. He's so amazing I could do anything say anything go anywhere do in it And i'ma tell you that right there is not normal That is not natural For a man to just let a woman say and do and go and spend whatever she wants to But I notice a lot of women will see a man who speak up And who express his heart express his thoughts as oh you controlling Because he has a difference of opinion about How the money is spent oh you controlling such and such Just get to spend whatever she wants to spend Such and such but but what the woman may not realize is such and such husband Or boyfriend got a mistress Or he got an ulterior motive Or he got another plan because that ain't even human nature to just get ran over We going through something to me because god bless you now We going through something so we have to think about this and and be careful that we're not just painting with no broad stroke And that we're looking at we getting to know And and what we have to realize about men today is On one side a man's life is relatively easy on one side in one way A man's life could be seen as easy meaning We don't have to Get pregnant and carry a baby and breastfeed and lose the form of our chest from breastfeeding and We're not as men expected to just stay with the child If there's a breakup Typically the child is expected to be with the mom in most cases The mom is the primary caretaker Got the majority of the custody typically And a man if he don't want that child can just boom up and leave A woman can up and leave too, but it's much more rare Then when we see men Up and leaving so on one side it's like oh the man has this easy life and then on the other side it's like Men are suffering and struggling internally Due to comparison And this one of the things today that I see that a lot of men are suffering from And that is Comparison and y'all have heard the quote about comparison. I see people saying sorry caprice I didn't get to read what caprice wrote. God bless you now God bless you and One of the things I see men struggling with a lot is comparison And what's happening is They say comparison is the the what to say the thief of joy And so today what's happening is men are looking at other men money clothes cars Women and being jealous of that and thinking that is manhood Liz God bless you now and thinking that's manhood and not realizing that That man could have that from Fraud That man could have that from Illegal other illegal activity But men are looking at other men And becoming jealous and comparing themselves and it's making A stagnant in our own lives and we standing still and That right there is dangerous because what so many men today are doing is just focusing on money They're focusing on money and getting money and almost willing to do anything to get money And not realizing that real money is a byproduct Of intangibles Money is tangible But to be able to earn money in a real way in a consistent way in a way that has longevity That comes from your intangibles meaning your character Your morals your values and so a lot of men are chasing money instead of Building character And that is what is affecting us in society today Is everything is money focused everything is money centered and not character focused and character centered And that's what we're going wrong as men And so now remember this a man-to-man session today I know we still got ladies in the room and the men be listening but This for the men today And the men always say oh, why you don't talk to the man? I talk to the man just in the amount of percentage that y'all hit the subscribe button only YouTube say only got five percent of my subscribers are men So i'm not going to do 50 percent video for men when there's only five percent subscribe So five percent of my videos is for men because that's the percentage that's subscribed And and so that's what we're seeing today this chase and this lust for money and I noticed you know You have when you post stuff if you know, you know I took a picture Um with one of my cars on on our anniversary because my wife bought me a nice outfit And I said bear I want to take me a picture I want to do me a photo shoot because I don't celebrate myself. I don't take pictures And I know a lot of men don't and so we stopped at the park In our neighborhood and I took me a picture and In the outfit my wife bought me the shirt said Burberry But you couldn't see a brand name on the shorts of the shoes I had to block one lady said my oh showing off of the brands is just too much And she wrote dude and I'm like, you don't know me want to block Get out my dm block I blocked her so fast and so But I posted that and one thing I noticed is that if I post material things so I was standing next to my Bentley and Everybody who know in it. It's not everybody know about cars because I went through the drive through the other day at Dunkin Donuts And the man at the window asked me what kind of cars this he said I see that be All the time. What kind of cars that for one, sir Just say you don't know what kind of car it is because you don't see this be all the time now Start telling that lie. So I said, oh, this is a Bentley. He's like, oh, okay, man That's nice. And so but when I post material things Men start writing me if I just post about character and integrity And just life I don't hear nothing from men But if they see money on me That's when men start writing me And men start writing me. Hey, um, how do I do what you do? How do I be a life coach? Or how do I be a author? How do I be a motivational speaker? And that and it and it hurts me man. It hurts me. It saddens me because For me everything I got come from integrity and character It don't it don't come from it come from the intangibles everything I got come from the intangibles not the tangible Skills or gifts it come from becoming a real man And then having the clarity And the peace of mind And finding my purpose Is how I produce income Living and walking in my purpose But that came from peace as a man first And that's why I want men to stop chasing money and start chasing purpose I became an intercontinental speaker when I was 29 years old And my first international speaking engagement was in Johannesburg, South Africa And I was paid ten thousand dollars And I was over there about almost two weeks And in my speech I said If you chase money, you will always be lacking But if you chase purpose Money will chase you And what I mean by that is when you're doing what you call to do what you are put here to do Even if what you do don't make a lot of money people will bless you People will bless you As to say thank you It was uh something up. It was a young lady today sent me a cash out today And that that blessed my heart because Sent me a cash out today and said thank you And I didn't ask for that. You don't see my cash out on the screen. It's not in the description of this video But some people know it and that's what I mean by chasing purpose As draining is um miss share just put it in a god bless you share share That's how y'all know it sharing um caramel kisses But I don't have it on the screen and I don't have it in the description box And but I'm serving my purpose and that's what I tell men Is when you do like a purpose could be anything I heard a guy say he liked to cut hair because It make a man feel brand new And it changed that man life the way he sees himself the way he feels about himself that it changes life And I saw that that man One of his clients became an NFL player And them NFL players one of them invested in that man and got him a mobile like a van And got it decked out did the interior to where he got like a barbershop on wheels Because of This man serving his purpose Now just as a barber getting $20 a haircut you're never going to be rich Off a $20 a haircut because if you cut 10 heads a day, that's $200 a day before expenses overhead taxes So that ain't gonna make you rich. You might be rich in joy Rich in purpose rich in serving, but that ain't rich in money in america. It might be rich compared to other countries But that man serving his purpose somebody took him bless him same exact thing My barber was cutting my hair and he cut it with such passion with such service I help him get into his barbershop helping with first and last month's rent And a little bit for some of the equipment he would need I then bought him $200 power clippers And I blessed my barber with a with a A box Chevy Because I've seen him with two box Chevy since I've known him and both of them broke down on him Or he had to sell it and I knew he had a passion for classic car for old school Chevy's So I bought him a box Chevy And at no point in him just cutting hair Could he have afforded to just spend $20,000 on a box Chevy with a paint job New interior speakers and 26 inch rims He he wouldn't have had the 20 000 to flush like that But because of him working the way he work And I see he work on his feet stand on his feet six days a week. That's his purpose So lord told me bless him with something that He won't do for himself Help him get his own business And this what I this what I want more men to understand is change your purpose So when I started doing what I'm doing It made me no money whatsoever And that's what a lot of guys don't understand like When I became a speaker my first speaking engagement was at Bethune Cookham University. I was paid $65 I was paid $65 as a professional speaker That was 2007 My next paid speaking engagement did not come until 2010 And it was $1500 And then the next one was $2500 and then the next one was $1500 again and that that was three speaking engagements in one year But that totals $3,000 $5,500 So as a professional speaker I had one engagement in 2007 that paid me $65 and the next one was three years later in 2010 And I had three of them and that made $5,500. Who can live and take care of a family of $5,500? So, you know what I was doing at that time. I was working in the group home As a counselor in the group home making $9.50 a year which turned into $20,000 a year And I was taking classes at in college getting $10,000 in student loans every year So that put my income at $30,000 And then that speaking that put me at $35,500 and then I started ghost writing and author consulting But I was serving in my purpose and there was no cloud attached to being a life coach Relationship coach. It was no money in it And then in 2011 a friend came to me and said, hey, what's going to take for you to go to the next level? I said, man, I got to get off this job for one year and I never have to work for anybody again He said, how much you met? I say $20,000. He said, I give you $20,000 for 20% But I still had a little hood in me and I know I need the splurge So I said give me $35,000 He said, I give you $35,000 for 35% and we'll start a new company a new LLC So I took the deal And he gave me $35,000 at 27 years old a black man with no college degree With no mentor with no team And I come from a city of 5,000 people The only person made it I was Tracy McGrady to the NBA And he wouldn't have made it. I had he stayed in our city He moved and went to one of them schools that you live at the school Mount Zion Academy up in North Carolina And so and that's how he went to the NBA But and when he was home, he was getting suspended from school suspended from games getting in trouble He would have been a thug probably But when he moved he had to take his earrings out couldn't have no girlfriend Had to go to church 14 hours a week at Mount Zion Academy. That's how he got to the NBA And so nobody had made it out from coming from where I'm coming from And then here come this this and this a white boy I was 27. He was 25 I never would have imagined that a 25 year old Boy, I couldn't even call. I didn't call us men that a 25 year old uh Man boy will have $35,000 to give me I'm like what in the world And so I took that 35,000 that money was going in a month I got me I got me and my wife and my son out the hood We moved into a gated neighborhood And But over that next the next time I counted my income I had made $147,000 Using my natural gifts using my gifts The money that the guy that my friend invested into me didn't go to business It went to my lifestyle it helped us First and last month's rent uh Furniture all of that, you know paying up some bills Paying up some debt trying to help get credit, right? That went to that and that was going quick But it was my natural gifts that started to earn me a living And that's why I try to get me in to understand is stop chasing money and chase purpose Meaning develop your character and as a man you got to ask yourself who am I in the dark? Who am I in the dark? So 2011 I got that investment I had to become a real man By by 2009 I stopped playing games meaning I stopped jibing around I stopped Looking around at other women. I stopped tilt on I stopped being Too face. I stopped being you know like fake 2009 I wrote my book in 2007 I ain't get my life right to the end of 2009 to get in 2010 and then guess what happened in 2010 That's when I became a speaker for the NBA At 26 years old I changed my life 2009 And I worked on my character my integrity And then that next year I was rewarded To become a speaker for the NBA and the NBA players association at 26 years old with no manager With no agent Just serving in my purpose posting tweets every day And this is what I try to get me in to understand I heard a man maybe little Brian Tracy say with people fast is slow And slow is fast You cannot be effective and efficient with people You are effective and efficient in a factory With products But with people you got to take your time You got to go slow You got to build slowly You cannot rush the process I used to always Tweet trust the process Trust the process And then Joe mb. He followed me on twitter because I spoke to his rookie class remember i'm a speaker For the NBA so I speak to every rookie class at this program they have called rookie transition program Joe mb started following me on twitter I used to always post trust the process trust the process Joe mb started saying that when he was injured I would DM him he would DM me back and I just say keep your head up man keep going and say hey Thank you appreciate it and he started saying trust the process and that made it it went viral it went viral and I think Phil Jackson said too So this thing became a thing And that's why I try to tell men is with a process You can't rush a process So what we have today is because so many of us are chasing money. That's why we have a thing called a fake guru That's why we have a thing called a charlatan only know what this stuff means, but I just hear people saying it And we have that because men getting so money hungry that they'll throw integrity out the window Like I had a mastermind group that I canceled Because although the mastermind group was five thousand dollars a month In residual income the the members pay forty seven dollars a month But I didn't feel in my heart. I was providing enough value And my spirit was convicted because we were just doing a call a month that would be like two hours And we had we have a group chat on slack Slack simile chat We have a group chat on slack and and I didn't feel like I would provide enough value Not a single member complained They felt like this monthly They was not a member complained. I don't know how they were starting to feel but nobody complained But before anybody complained I closed the mastermind group And I say I will give up that five thousand dollars plus a month For my integrity Because I don't feel like I'm giving enough value And these is kind of lesson that I want people to get On lemur say we loved it. See see what lemur said but see I didn't feel that I Was deserving of the money that was being paid to me So I closed it But I see people charging $300 a month $100 a month $20,000 a year 30,000 a year And And it ain't no way in the world you could give somebody that much value Because everything free on youtube Everything free on google So how in the world you gonna give somebody that much value when everything could be google So It really was kind of like my personal time But I just didn't feel that special And so I say that to say as men we got to become more integral And we got to operate in integrity and and understand that the money gonna come because For for so long I was working on character and I was working on purpose And money was so tight money was tight even at six figures my money was tight And but eventually Eventually I hit Eventually I got a breakthrough And the character That was developed in the dark And that's why I say grow in the dark And the stuff I say now it start going viral and people start using stuff as book titles and stuff And that could be demoralizing but everything go back to god always come from god And that's another thing is as men we can't be so egotistical that we let our ego get in the way of our purpose So the lord had to deal with me and to say tonus Don't worry about people using your quotes and your teachings without crediting you because it ain't come from you It came from me because you can't even get that in the 38 years you them been living So why are you trying to take credit for it? Where's them come from god? And so I had to get over myself And That's why I need men to understand is when you pursue your purpose and your purpose It's like this right here a guy could be working For the city Doing backbreaking work in the hot sun And then after that work he go home and he played basketball with his son And then he become the coach of his son team And he coaching his son team And then his son get on the travel team and he coach his son travel team And so here this man is making 30 000 a year And he's making nothing to coach this travel team But then one of his players Is kevin durant And then kevin durant become an nba player And turn around and by this man a 250 thousand dollar house And put this man on salary at ten thousand dollars a month to be an advisor Or put him on the board of a company And he get a check from that investment group the company that they started to invest in products and projects You see how this man serving his purpose Whole life was changed because he was focused on the work and not focused on the money And so that's what I got to a place to where the money started chasing me To where I started earning without trying to earn Without forcing to earn And that's what we got to have a shift in in manhood Is we got to have character you got to have integrity. So every day I get these emails and I could I would show y'all one on if I was logged into that email so you could see a line I'm gonna see if I could log in every day. I get the emails And it's like hey We are a marketing company And we post ads on verified facebook pages And we want to know If you'll let us post On your facebook And we'll pay You know, uh We'll pay X amount of dollars Here go one right here This guy wrote me from one One oak media Shafak Here from one of a kind media Our company partners with bigger in terms of likes and followers verify facebook pages And monetizes those pages for a shared revenue deal We do this by posting license videos on your facebook page and these videos generate revenue through ads in the middle of the video Our team of content creators will be posting a certain number of videos on your facebook page per day In order to give you an incentive and build trust for our agreement We will pay you an initial amount a monthly payment can be discussed later once we talk about it Now these I get these right here by 10 times a day from different companies And they're offering me about Anywhere from $3,500 a day Uh Yeah, $3,500 a day It's about the highest out of scene And then some of them will say, you know, $7,500 a week For the facebook page that I have built by posting Purpose-based quotes So I got last I checked 1.8 million facebook people. Do you know I have not accepted one of these deals? That I've been getting Because of integrity Now I now who don't want $3,500 a day now I want the money But not at the expense Of my brand that I have worked and built because you know what they're gonna do They're gonna be posting them viral videos And it might be a video of a cat Throwing up from the dog fart And it's a funny video. It might be a video of A little boy helping an elderly lady across the street But it's just the viral videos And then the the page my facebook is monetized So that the videos facebook are put ads on it So they take the videos posted facebook put the ads They'll have my money go to them and then they say they'll pay me And so $3,500 and they want to post four videos a day $3,500 a day times seven that's $24,500 a week nine Times four that's $98,000 a month That's $100,000 a month that I can make from my facebook page And let me tell you why I don't won't do it because I don't post meaningless posts I don't post a post that doesn't have a meaning Every post I post I wanted to move somebody life forward Every post I post I wanted to serve a purpose in somebody life I also don't post four times a day because I don't want to flood people timeline I don't want to be too much in people face So those two things that they do are against my standards So because I have standards I'm missing $100,000 a month $1.2 million a year that I'm walking away from You see what I'm saying and this is what I want men to understand Now God still send me that money in another way God still send me that money in another way But that's still more money I could have And this is what I mean and you know what these companies These companies run the pages of a lot of celebrities So when they some of the celebrities I've seen on there is like Mike Tyson I see his name in a lot of them. I'm like, nah, all y'all can't be running Mike Tyson page Mike Tyson, Megan Good Kevin Hart These some of the celebrities who are tiger soldier boy That if you have a Facebook page that's like a business page and you got Over a million people and you verify a lot of money could be made And in the height of this thing I did a deal a long time ago with a company Because they was doing an upfront payment They sent me $10,000 And they went out of business Before they made one post they the owner had to shut down I had a free $10,000 But the deal with them was going to be different They had to build my own blog site And it would be me writing the blogs and they would just put the ads on the blogs Around the blogs, but it would be still my purpose for content And I did that deal with a company before that It was a lot of work on my end and my first check was like $2,500 I'm now Y'all make too much money off of me And I really didn't know what money they made They just paid me that And the guy seemed kind of shiesty But see this my point is is as men We got to get beyond just being money hungry We got to go beyond being money hungry And we got to be purpose hungry And I'ma tell you And this last lesson on here before I get ready to go I got to get ready to go here in a little bit Is how we leave it in an hour Is We have to get to this place to where With the morals and the values and the integrity The most powerful thing That a man could do is be a one woman man And this is something that a lot of men don't understand Because I see this movement of Ain't even gonna talk on that right now Is there's this movement to where men are despising marriage Men want to be in a relationship But not married Men want to have some S.O.D But not be married That's down for that on demand They want to have some S.O.D But not be married And that right there Is breaking down society Is breaking down society And I seen this last night Me and my wife was watching ESPN They was doing the contest with the college The three-point And the dunk contest And they showed the white boy They showed the white boy Who was about to do something One of the contests And they showed They say this They say this young man is about to be married In about 10 days They show his fiance sitting right there courtside And she got her engagement rang on And I said to my wife Missed me being transparent now Not to be racial or anything like that But well I'm being racial I say you see how they raise They raise to get married And to start a family And that's what and we know better Even though we minorities Even though we come from slavery Even though in America Even though we know now We done been out of slavery long enough Now to know The know better This white boy in college And finna get married And just like the boy who uh Trevor Lawrence Who played quarter bite Let me google Who played quarter bite He own Trevor Lawrence's wife Two days ago now These boys be so serious about family That they they wife Get media posts It say Trevor Lawrence's wife Marissa Revealed new puppy on Instagram The New York Post writing about this man Doll A family unit So before this man went to the NFL He got married But when we look at our young black men They still ain't married Kevin Durant still ain't married James Harden still ain't married All these superstars Still ain't married Trevor Lawrence probably was the number one drive pig I can't remember When you look at our now Anthony David just got married Damon Lilip just got married And I know these guys personally With some of these names I'm saying I don't talk to these guys personally I know them personally I got their phone number Because I worked with the NBA So they got married And for them it took me too long It took me too long But I can't you know I can't tell another man what to do with his life I'm glad better late than never Better late than never But this need to become a thing And so here's the thing We haven't we we we got this movement of You know Oh marriage ain't important Oh marriage oh don't rush marriage It's like that ain't rushing marriage That ain't rushing marriage is when you meet somebody And you marry them within three months You marry them within six months That's rushing marriage Getting married at 18 ain't rushing marriage If you mature and you know this person And you know this person got the qualities that you want 20 years old 25 years old Because self-discipline is a choice Is nobody unzipping our pants And grabbing our thing and sticking it in nothing That is a choice It's nothing in us that's forcing us to go sleep around That is a choice So when people say oh you too young you too young no It ain't about age It's about choices It's about choices And so this is the thing where men especially black men I just look at mostly I see black and white I don't see I don't get the too much examples of Asian and Hispanic Because I was just not around those demographics a lot Now typically when I meet Hispanic men they married You know but I don't know about the young Hispanic men And the young Asian men how they see this stuff But I look at black and white because that's typically what America Always talking about black and white And I noticed the young white boys be married Most white boys gonna be married before 25 If a white boy get 30 and ain't married he old He is old And but this is the thing because of that and a white man said that to me Not long ago just us having a transparent conversation He was like you know I feel like it's more normal and like more customary Of like a family unit in the white race and rightfully so Yeah, it's a bunch of history and all of that but there has to come a day That when you know better you do better I heard Al Sharpton of all people say if you knock me down If you knock me down this Wednesday Shame on you But if you come back next Wednesday and I'm still laying down Shame on me and I never forgot that So yeah, you they knock down your ancestors with slavery And with whatever else and all the other stuff and red lining and all of this here and Gentrification and all of this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you'd have been knocked down But at what point do you say I got to get up? At what point do you say I got to get up? And and people will look at my son my 14 year old got invited to go play in Georgia this weekend for the Olympic development program And they this program is to get soccer players a pool of soccer players that they could pick Team USA from to get in the FIFA And so my son will be 15 and so he trying out for the for the ODP And one he got invited to go play in Georgia. So we leave in tomorrow The drive of Georgia he gonna play Saturday and Sunday But my son also got straight A's And he goes to a school that the work he's doing in ninth grade Is the work that other people doing in 12th grade His school is advanced And my son also is in a technology club And he wrote a proposal to MIT google MIT. If you don't know by MIT MIT Is the number three University in our country stanford is number one Well, this ain't this ain't a this ain't official list right here harvard massachusetts institute of technology My son helped write the proposal for his groups Invention And MIT a top five university in the country number one in technology Gave a grant to eight schools Throughout the country. I think it was eight schools And They won this $10,000 grant So now here you have a young boy of color Who is in AP classes Not all of us know what an AP class is that stand for advanced placement I ain't how now I ain't taking now y'all hear how I talk I ain't taking now now i'm smart now But not i ain't school. I wasn't in the school. I had a's and b's now But I ain't go to school like my sons go to My son got an AP class because you only allowed to take one next year I think he's taken two or three and then all the rest of his classes honors classes A lot of his teammates got no honors classes or they got a couple honors classes and no AP classes My son got straight a's And he got about nine classes. So he got straight a He on a travel soccer team Got invited to play in another state on the Olympic development program And he in the technology club and helped write the grant to win The grant the technology now it sounds like i'm bragging to you, but i'm making a point to you Do you know how my son able to do that? Because of stability in the household Because a mother and a father In the household And he gets to see strength He gets to see integrity He gets to see self-respect. He gets to see self-love. He gets to see hard work He gets to see dedication And he gets held accountable He gets his mama accountability and he gets his daddy accountability and he gets it on a daily basis So guess what? At my son's school and on his team There is no other minority with his makeup Meaning tech club straight a's And high-performing athlete Now I see it in different I see one of the guys on the team that I work with one of the sports teams I work with college teams I work with got a guy Who was a black male And He is he well spoken But he wants to be A pediatrician So he's in that major I just text him he probably text me back but my phone don't do nothing third He in that major so he's doing clinicals While playing Division one basketball Anybody who plays sports in college, even if you were d3 or nai or junior college It is a big commitment This young man is in whatever it might be pre-med or whatever it's called This young man doing clinicals And winning championships on the division one level I told him the other day. I said man, you remind me of my son But guess what this young man got A mother and a father now there are single parent households that do this But those that single parent will tell you That he or she when they look around that single parent will tell you We are an exception to the rule that this is not that this ain't normal This ain't everybody doing a single parent will tell you not they can make it happen But they also going to tell you how hard it is To do it alone They're going to tell you how hard it is if your child want to have straight A's In school and your child want to have extra curricular activities They a single parent going to tell you how hard it is and how much easier it would be If they had Somebody by their side who was willing to love and have integrity And operate integrity and to serve and to be there with them that they could split some of this work up Split some of this responsibility up and this was breaking down our household is we got all the rappers And majority of the rappers majority of the athletes majority of the black male millionaires So many of them do not praise marriage They praise womanized many of them Praise this here stuff I need to turn my I message on Hey, y'all forgive me. Sorry about that They praise this other they praise single hood. They praise womanizing They praise this other stuff Hey, y'all forgive me now. Y'all forgive me real quick. Y'all forgive me. My wife had called. I'm trying to reach on this And so now listen to me They praise and all this extra curricula. And so guess what the young men y'all forgive me now My phone hopefully my phone ain't cut out. Can y'all still hear me? Because my wife had called me and sometimes it's still my sound. Can you hear me? Okay, I got to get ready to go. We leave in 45 minutes. Ain't no telling what she was calling me about See sometimes I see sometimes I have to I went on working. I got to let my wife not be able to reach me She gets so comfortable of being able to reach me because I work from home But sometimes I got to let her know like a like a regular man who might be out in the sun Working just because I'm home now. I'm still doing I'm still working now Sometimes she'll take that for granted and think what I do ain't really work Yeah, yeah, this work now and so uh This what I'm seeing happening It's so much and then I'm I'm seeing Voices and then when you look around You will see people men who are supposed to be enlightened Men who who get on the podcast get on these the videos these interviews And drop all these gems But we'll leave out the one gem We'll drop every gem, but the gem of being married and being in the home with your wife and your children with your wife Even if you failed as a man in your last relationship Even if you didn't get to raise all your kids If you sleeping with a woman As a man you need to marry that woman And if that woman is not because we want to talk about protecting black women or protecting women to protect somebody Is to really cherish them and value them as a child of god It ain't fight. It ain't just fighting for somebody physically To protect somebody you need to marry that person Give them a lifetime commitment And if you're going to have kids with them or blend your kids, then you need to be in the household with them And that's protection That's what you need to do And so we got to get to that place But we have men and I see these men of all different walks From rappers comedians thought leaders You know, muslim christian Pan-african Give them a phone trying to die All different type of men And it's always men with a platform and with a voice That go to holland bot this tomfoolery That go to talking bot You know Old marriage ain't necessary marriage is a trick of the government Married is uh Married marriage is control That's the same people who gave you marriage is the people who gave you Who gave you a religion? The same people who gave you the n word gave you religion and they gave you marriage And we're not addressing how it's breaking down the household We're not addressing how people are being How these children being raised confused and lost Because men Don't want to marry And you got women who want to be married and you got women who want to marry But we don't got enough men who want to marry and not just marry but be faithful To Crucify your flesh and your youth youthful lust And to be married and to be faithful And that's the one thing right there that that we don't want to talk about and that don't nobody want to heal But that right there is what's going to set us free And that's what i'm noticing with my kids By me being in the home with a mama And me loving on her and me being a real man a role model and an example for them Me owning up. It's a many days. I want to leave So many days. I want to give up. It's a many days. I want to cheat Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, women don't like to hear that now. We don't like to hear that. No, this is a sacrifice To be married and faithful That ain't it ain't it ain't easy It ain't fun A lot of women want me to tell them That a man of god does not have lust Or struggle with lust or struggle with the attacks and attempts of the adversary a lot of married Women won't a lot of women want to hear That a man Will reach a point in his life that he is no longer tempted and that is not true And that will never be true Because as long as a human is breathing a human will be tempted with something With something it might be to lie. It might not be to sleep with somebody. It might be to lie But you have to pray for the strength Then you have to accept the strength and then you got to walk in that strength I could be tempted. I could see somebody a beautiful woman on instagram And I want to deal and strike up a conversation Hey, uh, I was wondering about this hill service. Do you provide this particular service? And don't bit more want the service than the man on the moon But just an open door for some conversation And I got a uh I got to check myself I got to consecrate my spirit I got to renew my mind I got to pray for strength and then I got to operate in that strength that I've been granted And it don't get it. I call it easy But that's because I'm manipulating the power of words Meaning I'm manipulating my brain I'm tricking my brain into seeing faithfulness as easy Because if I just see it as hard Then it's going to get harder and harder. But if I call it easy, it's going to feel easier and easier even though it's hard It's just like when you working out, you don't just if you tell yourself. Oh, this is so hard. Oh, this is so hard You're going to quit But if you say I got this I got this I can get through it. I can get I got more in but I could go I could go come on I could go so if I want to do 50 push-ups I set in my mind the number 100 If I'm going for 100 I'm gonna get 50 If I said 50 I'm gonna start to break down round 30 So I got to say 75 if I want to get to 50 And this is what I tell my athletes I say if you go and get 100 if you shoot to give 150 you're gonna land at about 120 100 But if you say you just gonna give 100 you're gonna land about 70 or 80 You got to go above and beyond You got to go above and beyond And so this what we have to get as men we got to get to the place to where we appreciate and we respect marriage And we we relish in that we cherish that and we got to get to the place to where We're not fussing and fighting and arguing with our woman And we're allowing her to be a woman to be who she is And that we taking and we picking up the slack and that we said a I got this And we call the necessary shots that need to be called But we don't let the love every quirk of her personality Throw us out of shape throw us out of Our element and get us to where we down tried and we fuss and fight we argue and we want to cheat And so I say you know what my wife is a woman and a woman is different than me A woman don't think like me a woman don't act like me a woman don't move like me a woman don't uh Speak like me don't spin like me don't save like me a woman is going to be different than me