 Well, well, well, here's Mama Bloom's brood. The big picture made by Papa's Accelo Pictures Corporation is finished. Finished at the cost of $250,000. Today is the day of the sneak preview and we find Mama and Papa in their Hollywood apartments. Mama is speaking. Papa. Jake, what are you doing? Sitting here with my head in my hands. I ain't going to hide, so you're not having to hide your eyes. You gotta get dressed. Why do I have to get dressed to go to my own funeral? You ain't dead, Papa, so why should you be talking like that? I ain't dead, Mama, so that they should bury me. But inside, inside here, I'm buried that. You ate something for lunch that wasn't good for you. I didn't eat any lunch. Then that's what's wrong with you, Jake. You shouldn't try to go around with a empty stomach. Harold and Sydney have gone around for years with empty heads. So why shouldn't I try it with an empty stomach? Now I see the lightning. You're worried about the picture. Mama, the picture doesn't mean a thing. I'm worried about the... I'm worried about the... Look, Mama, I can't even say it. You are worried about the $250,000. Becky, you can say that. I can say it without batting an eyebrow. An eyelash, Mama, an eyelash. This ain't the time to scribble over retail. You should be getting dressed to go to the sneaker review. Maybe I will sneak out of town when it's over. Why should you be doing that? Why? Why? Mama, I'll tell you. I'll have to sneak out of town and hide in the hills because a lot of people back in New York who knew Jacob Bloom, that's me, Mama. A lot of people back in New York who knew me when I was in the knee pants business will be wondering if I'm a shiger. They'll hear that I have spent... They'll hear that I have spent... $250,000. Yeah, Mama, what you said. That's much money on a picture. And nobody knows if it's good or not. They'll hear about it. So what? So what, yes, like spending that much money is just like buying maybe a stick of chewing gum. Becky, do you know how much money that is? It ain't peanuts, Yasha. Mama, how could you be joking at a time like this? I'm not joking, Jake. I was never more serial in my life. I was just trying to cheer you up. Well, you can't do it by telling me that that much money ain't peanuts. So what do I do then? Crack jokes like a radio comedian? Nothing could make me laugh. Papa, Jake. Yeah, Mama? I think that you are looking at this from the wrong place. From the wrong place? Mama, there's only one way to look at that much money. Look it straight in the face. Wait a minute, Papa. I'm telling you something. There's a very old ad for it that says nothing rendered is nothing gained. So? So-so? So-so? It's like this. You think that you're going crazy for spending that much money? They'll think, huh? But maybe they will think too that Jake Bloom is willing to take a chance. They will say, look, Jake Bloom is a brave man. Who says I am? Never mind. If the picture's good, if a lot of people like it, then nobody will think you're crazy. Oh, no. They'll think you're very smart. They'll think I'm smart, huh? And if the picture ain't good, what then? Then they will say that you took a chance and it slipped. What's the difference? I ain't got time to figure that one out. Oh, and please, Mama, leave me alone. I just want to sit here and hold my head in my hand. Jake, you got to get ready to face the ban. I don't want to go. You got to go. Is there a law? There ain't a law. All right, so I'll stay home and suffer here. Yeah, it's much more comfortable. Papa, you will go along. Sarah and Sidney will be here in a few minutes and they are going fit then. Sidney. Sidney. I don't know what he means to the Nepent's business, but that was a business I could understand. But out here, out here in the movie business, I didn't know what he was going to do, so I couldn't stop him. Maybe he's right. Maybe he's right. Anybody who spends too... too... that much money can't be right. Jake, listen to me. See, the entire world is young. They've got their fingers on the poise of the people. You mean the pulse. They've got their fingers on my purse. So maybe they're right and they know what they're doing. So maybe. Well, I still should. I've got to wear the torch of myself more. So you will look nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people will walk past me and say, there is Jacob Bloom. Don't they look nice? And tomorrow they will say, didn't they look nice? Jake, you should be looking for the silver lining. I should be looking for our pawnbroker. Jake, stop talking foolish and get dressed. In just a little while, Sarah and Sidney will be here and you will be looking like a hobble. I will look like one tomorrow, so I should be getting into practice. Becky. Do you realize? Do you know that maybe all that money might be spent for nothing? Sure, sure, I know it, Jake. But you shouldn't be crying over upsetting the pushcups. I shouldn't, huh? You should say things as they're coming. It's easy to say. So that is the picture ain't no good. Would you be killed for it? But I... All right. All right. Rather than to try to figure you out, I'll even get dressed in my tuxedo. That's good, Papa. That's good. Then hurry up so you ain't like a flow pipe when the children get here. Papa, answer the door. That must be the children. I shouldn't be knowing why it must be. Telegram from Mr. Yasha Blumikoff. There ain't nobody here by that name. This is 1425 Euclid Avenue, ain't it? Maybe you got the wrong city. Did you say Yasha Blumikoff? Yeah, yeah, that's the name. Well, I will take the telegram and I will give it to him when he comes in. Why are you talking about Papa? You are your... Sign here, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, what's the matter? Yeah, it's a telegram. Oh, yeah, telegram. I'll open it. Thank you. Oh, something is the matter. Mama, don't get excited. I know it. Don't get excited, please. A telegram don't mean that something is wrong, Mama. Jake, are you going to open it? Or are you going to stand in your hand like a statuary? My hand like a what? Never mind. I'll open it back. He'll open it back. He'll open it back. You don't have a right. Well, go ahead. I'm open. Please don't rush me. Father, did you say Jake? Huh? Who's cute? I haven't even got time to open it. Give me time to read it. It's from Sidney. Sidney? He's left town. No, no, no. He hasn't left town. The telegram says, good luck to Yasha Blumakov. Oh. That's slum meal. That dope. He spends two hundred and... You can't even say it now. He spends a lot of my money and then he sends me a telegram about it. Well, Papa, that was nice to Sidney. It shows that he was thinking about you. Yeah, he was thinking about me all right. Yasha Blumakov. Oh, there he is, Papa. I will open it, Mama. Papa, be careful. Be careful, Mama. But I hope Sarah is standing well away from him. Look out, Papa. I will open the door. Oh, you. Greetings, everyone. Greetings, greetings, everyone. Look at him. Just like he ain't got a care in the world. Hello, Papa. Hi, Ma. Hello, darling. Come in. Come in and wait for Papa to get dressed. Oh, gosh, Pa. Aren't you ready yet? No, I ain't ready yet. Sidney, what's the matter? You ain't got on a tuxedo. A tuxedo? What for, Ma? Oh, no, Ma. This is just a sneak preview. Shouldn't we get dressed up to see him? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But Sidney ain't going to get dressed to go to our funeral. What are you talking about? Uh, close the door, Sarah, darling. Now, come in and sit down. Papa will be ready in a little while. I'll make it snappy. Will you, Pa? We haven't got a whole lot of time. What I'm going to see, we've got a whole year. Gosh, Pa, you don't seem excited at all. Don't you realize what this is? Don't I realize what this is? Yes. Don't I realize it? Yes. Sarah, you are asking me if I don't know what I'm going to do. Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to... to 200 and... to... to... I can't say it. I'm going to a lot of money's worth of foolishness. Oh, I wouldn't say that. Pa, you don't know yet. I don't know. I wish I was never going to know. Gosh, Ma, is he mad? Sarah, your Papa's not mad. He's worried. He doesn't want to worry me, so he acts like he's mad. But underneath, he's just as excited as you or me or Sidney. Oh, this is a big thing, Ma. No company of our size has ever made a picture like this. Yeah, that's what he's worried about. Uh, Sidney, he's worried. Better or not, it will clack. Click. Click. Clack. Your Papa's worried. Uh, Sidney. Yeah, Ma? You should have a good picture. It looked good to us. It looked good to you. Remember, Sidney, pictures is like a lot of other things. A man goes in a restaurant and he orders soup. He likes it. But another man comes in, he orders lettuce because he don't like soup. So what's looking good to you? Maybe looking like a flip-flop to the other fellow. Oh, Ma, don't you slang. Sidney knows what I mean, don't you Sidney? Oh, sure. I know, Ma. You're right, as usual. But, well, you see, Harold and I took a long chance on this picture. Yeah. If it clicks, then we've set up the Excello Pictures Corporation as a good company. Uh-huh. And if it doesn't click, well, we've set up ourselves as a couple of saps. Yeah, and Papa along with it. Oh, well, we can't blame it on Pa. You know, Harold and I'll have to take the rest. Sidney, do you think Papa would let you do that alone? He is liking to look like he's mad at you, but underneath, he thinks you're a very smart boy. Gee, Ma, does he really? Sometimes I wonder... Never mind, Sarah. I've known Papa a lot longer than you have. I know him like a magazine. Two hundred and fifty grand is a lot of dough, Ma. You're telling Papa? Well, Ma, it isn't lost. Well, if the picture's a flop, it's lost. Sidney, don't say it so loud. Papa's got to use like a hawk. Eyes like a hawk, Ma. Sarah, even Papa don't hear of it, his eyes. But I know what I'm talking about. I wish Pa would hurry. I'm a jittery as a cat. Jittery bugs I got for children. Sarah, I guess you are thinking that I am Clem, huh? Mama, Mama, there's the black tie. The black tie, Papa? Where anyone, Pa? You don't want to wear a black tie. I know what I want to wear. I want to wear a black tie. I got a good reason for doing it. Where is it, Mama? It's in the top drawer, Papa. I put it there. All right, all right. I know what I am wanting to wear a black tie. Oh, gee. Why do they have to act that way? Gosh, it's almost seven thirty. We've got to get going in a minute. Excuse me, be patient. Papa won't take long to tie his tie, because he knows that I will tie it all over again for him a little later. Hurry up, Papa. Is it taking you all night to put on your tie? I have to make the knot big, because the other part is wrinkled. Let's see. It looks very nice, Papa. Sure. You look great, Pa. Well, I guess we're all set, aren't we? Yeah. All we need now is a little very slow music. Dancing he wants to do. No, I don't feel like dancing. No, no. Are we going to go or are we going to stand here all night? Okay, let's go. Come on, Ma. Yeah, darling. Come on, Papa. Mama, you go ahead with Sarah. Sydney and I lock the doors. All right, Jack. But hurry. Come on, Sarah. Don't be standing there like I've done before. I'll turn out the lights, Pa. Yeah, yeah. Sydney. Yeah? Look, Sydney. I want you to tell me. What do you think of the picture? Oh, you know what? I think of it, Pa. Yeah. Sydney, if we lose all that money, if the picture ain't good, you know what it'll mean. Yeah, I know, Pa. Sydney, I'm going to tell you something. But if you tell anybody else that I told you, I won't break your neck. What is it, Pa? Sydney, I think that you and Harold are very smart boys. Maybe you are doing something you shouldn't have done. Oh, now, Pa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm only going to tell you that in case, that is, if the picture ain't no good, we will spend another $250,000 to make a good one.