 So I thought just as a way of opening up this morning I would talk a little bit about the metaphysics and dynamics of what's going on with this unconscious darkness and it's basically that when the mind believed that it had separated from its source this was a horrific experience not in reality but to the mind that believed that it had accomplished insanity or that insanity was actually possible this involved a lot of pushing out, denying and repressing so the belief that you could separate from the source that's what we call the horrific idea in reality it's impossible but it's been called a tiny mad idea and you might put the emphasis on the mad it's mad, it's insane and because it was the emotion associated with that tiny mad idea is fear, is terror it's a horrific kind of idea it's an intense emotion that's associated with it and it's basically intolerable for a mind that's used to peace and joy and love and happiness those kind of emotions and that idea are pretty much intolerable you can't, there's no way to reconcile that intense fear with love because it's like lightness and dark don't really coexist the Bible had even said perfect love casts out fear so where there's perfect love there is no fear but with this intense emotion that seems to come from this error it's intolerable so it's completely pushed out of awareness so sometimes I talk about private thoughts or secrets that's the biggie that's the private thought or the secret that is intolerable to hold in mind that separation from source is possible and that is therefore pushed out of awareness it's really pushed way down you might say it's at the base of the unconscious that's what the unconscious is about that's why it's been pushed and then made unconscious because it's too intolerable to deal with then on top of that comes what we could call deluded private thoughts my friend Resta who joined with me and received all these songs from the angels I'm sharing with Noelle this line from Resta told me she just laughed when she heard it it was in one of her songs but the angels were singing and basically it was I take my guilt in small doses six billion bodies give a little to each this is the deflecting this is the splintering of this ontological guilt this horrific feeling of separating from God and spreading it out over time and space so it dilutes it it's little bits of pleasures and pains it's not like wow I just feel like I'm going to be crushed by guilt it's more like oh I've got a sore back or I have a toothache or I have a sore knee it's these little bits and slivers of discomfort and also little bits and slivers of pleasures that seem to be the opposite of the pain but really aren't they're all part of a distractive device to keep the mind in a state of denial to keep that original error we could call it that horrific attack thought buried in out of awareness so that the mind is playing this time-space trick which is trying to dilute the pain and throw in some pleasure and stay really distracted on the surface and stay away from getting down and healing the error and that's why when we talk about reincarnation it seems like people say many many lifetimes this isn't just a trick, diluting trick in what seems to be between birth and death this seems to be a trick that's been going on for a millennium a game of hide and seek playing hide and seek with your true identity hide in the darkness hide in the dust hide in the cosmos and be attracted to some bits of the cosmos and to try to avoid these painful ones but really when you're up on the surface you're not close to healing in fact the surface we could call it, Jesus calls it the face of innocence we could call it the top tier of this double-tier self-concept the surface was made to be tolerable even though it's got its ups and its downs and its pains and its pleasures everyone says that's the human condition so the human condition is just acceptable you've got to take the good with the bad you've got to just live with it nobody's perfect everybody makes mistakes it's almost like there's this choir of oh yeah that's normal that's just the way it is will never change but don't you believe it that's the thing, that's the surface and then that top tier of the self-concept or the mask was made to cover over this dark side the shadow that Carl Jung talked about the unconscious that's underneath and that is so dark and so black that it's basically the feeling as you couldn't stand to look upon it it's that intolerable sense of darkness and so the top tier is like the distraction the bottom tier Jesus uses a little phrase draped with sin this isn't just using the word sin he says draped with sin it's dark, dark and dark and black so when we have these expression sessions it's like an opportunity that deep darkness that's underneath it's gotta come up and it's gotta be released and it's gotta be brought to the light and really that's what relationships are about is that releasing that's the purpose of relationships is to heal this darkness by letting it come up and out that's the purpose of these expression session groups not just to sit around all this love, all this great if you're not feeling the love and the joy and the peace and the freedom then it's good to just say here's an issue that I'm dealing with that seems to be recurring in my life I'm here for healing, I'm here for insight but I want to talk about it so the ego mechanism is ego wants to perpetuate itself it wants to exist, it wants to continue on and basically it needs that denial and repression for it to continue on and so this bringing these thoughts to the surface and beginning to even bring them into conversations and to talk about them is a way of not protecting them you know, when it's like the old thing about smiling put on a happy face, be nice you know, keep the status quo don't rock the boat all those things can be used in the eyes of keeping that darkness down and keeping it repressed and pushed out of awareness and we want to go the other way with that also the spirit in you wants to express and so the ego's afraid of that so the spirit will again wants you to hold back you know, keep your love and your joy and your happiness bottled up you know, don't be expressing too much love because who knows what could happen if you keep expressing all that love you could explode something terrible could happen you know, you could pop or something would happen but we're wanting to allow ourselves to express that to just let it pour through and start to realize that we don't need to be afraid of that love that that love pouring through us and expressing through us is actually like a cleansing washing purifying experience and it's only the ego that's terrified of the love because it feels like if the love keeps pouring like that then it will not exist it will be washed away and it will you know, that's what it's afraid of because it wants to exist so the expression of the love is very important so we have the expression sessions in the morning it's kind of like to