 Whenever you come across those points, there's always one that's more difficult. There's always one that's more uncomfortable When oh should I do this or should I do that? There's one that's easier and there's one that's more uncomfortable and most of us just by human nature choose the path of least resistance We choose the easiest one. Sometimes it makes sense sometimes it doesn't but most of us choose that one The weird thing is that 99% of the times the right decision is the uncomfortable one. I'll give you guys some live examples Should I? Go to a third world country Spanish-speaking country in South America without speaking Spanish without knowing anybody by myself Without any contacts without knowing where I'm going to stay or should I stay at home? Now most people would say that's suicide now this country happens to be Colombia, right? Most people would say that's not that's not a very good idea. I was thinking like TJ No Columbia, right? Most people would say hell no and I know that because I invited all my friends and guess who went zero nobody Because everyone said you're out of your goddamn mind Much less going by yourself. I'm not gonna go with you much less going by yourself Nobody went because it was a little bit uncomfortable or in that case. It was a lot of it uncomfortable But whatever the case is when you get through onto those split decisions under those way points Where it could go both ways those forks in the road There's always an easy one and there's always an uncomfortable one Should you go in that bar and approach that girl that since that she looks like your dream girl But she's talking to a guy. He's about twice as big as you Should you go talk to her should you go approach her? That's a very very easy thing logically and it's a very easy thing emotionally because just about everyone's gonna say Absolutely not that is way too uncomfortable. He might beat me up. He might swing at me He might be someone important. Whatever. We're gonna make a million different reasons why we shouldn't do that But again, it comes down to that same principle. You've got to do what's uncomfortable You have to do what you're not comfortable with you have to be okay with that because if you don't you never make the tough decisions And when you don't make the tough decisions you start to train yourself That whenever fear is there whenever discomfort was there whenever anxiety is there and make no mistake about it Those are all the same emotion when that's there instead of facing it head-on. I'll walk away. I will run away I will run away from that uncomfortable or that discomfort. I will run away from that fear or run away from that anxiety Most people have trained themselves their entire life to do that because that's human nature Well, guess what when you do that you can't achieve success You can't be in that top bracket. You can't be at the top at the apex of that pyramid You can't be in the five percent. You know why because that five percent is comprised of all people who made the other decision Who made the decision to go against comfort? You must be comfortable with discomfort There's a really really great saying there's no comfort in the growth zone and there's no growth in the comfort zone and One of the things Specifically in dating is that everybody wants to be confident in fact everything that we teach really comes down to confidence If you think about it think about every tactic we teach every tool every mindset everything about about Actually dating and getting better. It all comes down to one thing. It all comes down to being confidence But at the end of the day confidence is extremely hard to acquire because you have to do exactly this Because the secret gentlemen to acquiring confidence is doing things that scare the holy hell out of you That's why my boot camps when guys are afraid of heights. Guess what we do We jump out of a plane Dead serious Dead serious we jump out of a plane and sometimes my coaches are terrified. So we get a we get a double whammy there That's the first thing we do we challenge ourselves and we go and we figure out what is going to scare us the most What are we most? Uncomfortable to do and we go and do that in a dating context This is how you know what your sticking points are go into a group or go into a nightclub Go into an area where people are socializing and think of what is the scariest thing? I could do that doesn't put people's in harm's way or Doesn't isn't illegal. What is the scariest thing I could do and realistically not oh well This guy might punch me because he won't trust me What's the scariest thing I could do in this environment and you think about maybe make a mental list top three scariest things Guess what that's your sticking point That's exactly what you need to do to get better because those are the things you're not doing the things that are easy They're not a sticking point. You know why because you're already doing them You're already doing them fine because they're easy or because they're comfortable with them So you've got to figure out what's most uncomfortable and then you've got to go out and do that Core confidence the ability to know that I can do this that I can achieve a goal and that even if I fail In that goal that my self-esteem will not plummet because my self-esteem isn't attached to that girl to that approach To that transaction to that business meeting. My self-esteem is here. It's not external Doing that and building that kind of self-confidence Primarily comes from facing your fears That's why when they did a study of what are the characteristics that navy seals and that's what teams tend to have what did they find? They tend to be extremely self-confident much more than the average person out there Why do you think that is? Because these men are facing fear on an everyday basis when you face fear over and over and over again It gives you an incredible amount of confidence. Confidence is one thing that transcends everything It makes every aspect of your life better Confidence is what gets you the job When they did a study and they showed whether people when they did an interview Whether people hired people who are confident or people who were better skilled They showed that more often than not They hire people who are more confident relative to better skill Confidence means that you're going to get that raise confidence means that when you're in a dating situation That more women are going to be attracted to you. The weird thing is that in friendship scenarios Men are universally turned off by other men who are not confident in a friendship scenario Men actually dislike not confident people We thought it was just women. They thought oh, maybe women don't like me because I'm not confident But I have my guy friends secretly not realizing your guy friends don't like you either When you lack confidence, it's across the board. I don't mean it's universal That's why you have to do things that scare you. That's why you have to do things that you're uncomfortable with That's the shortcut to that confidence doing the thing that scares you the most Now what I want you guys to do as soon as it's over and those of you guys at home Is I want you to make a list of all the things that you're most scared of and I want you to take out everything that say is a Danger to life and limb. So if you're most scared of jumping off a cliff without a parachute take that one off And what you're gonna find are all of the things remaining on that list are things that you're not scared of because it's a Risk of life and limb you're scared of because you're uncomfortable with it because it causes anxiety and that thing that may be spiders That may be heights that may be any number of things but those things right there Especially the social ones those are the things that you need to do because those are the things they're going to get you the best results all right, so those of you guys paying attention the secret code is T 21c 2012 That's the code for when you download the notes and there's going to be a special bonus for you guys as well Enter that code and you'll be able to download that everyone got it T 21c 2012 all right our next thing Number six you must have guidance