 Hey everyone! So it's a beautiful day today and something exciting and interesting to come along with it. So I have some kind of I guess exciting news and also a I believe it's going to be a deep introspection. I look into my own life journey and psyche and also into things that matter. And what I'm specifically going to talk about is probably evident from the title. If the title is the same that I decided to keep. It's about rediscovering Aikido and it's all related to something which happened lately. So lately I was recording a video about the Aikido's philosophy and why I believe it often fails to deliver in most Aikido schools that I've witnessed or heard of. And so you can check out that video but what is important about it was that at the end of that video as I was talking about what is the Aikido philosophy or what it's supposed to be, part of me got quite inspired about it. And that was... I didn't see that coming. I didn't plan for that to happen. And it was a significant moment for me because lately especially over the last few years I very much became an enthusiast of critical thinking. Of always choosing the most effective path. And that happens kind of both on the conscious and subconscious level. In other words if I get excited about sending usually that's a sign that I see some practical value in it. And I was surprised myself. I caught myself off guard when I felt inspired about the Aikido philosophy. I was like oh that's interesting. And so for the next few weeks I started exploring that actually let me just give me a moment. I want to check that okay the microphone is on. The worst thing you can do is record a video and not record the audio. So yeah for the last for the next few weeks I was exploring that subject I was like okay I guess I'll take that I'll take a note that I got excited about and I'll see if that inspiration stays. That's actually one of the kind of tests I have or filters I have in my system because I am generally I'm a very ambitious person and in the past I used to suffer from doing too much of kind of jumping on things which I would get overloaded with. And one of the systems I kind of developed for myself was that when I get excited about something I would take out of that and I would wait at least a few days to see if that excitement stays because in the past I would get excited about something and I would jump on it and I would do something about it and later I would realize actually you know that wasn't the best idea or I shouldn't have rushed in it, isn't it? Now when you wait a few days or a few weeks and if the excitement stays usually for me that's a sign that okay there's something there my mind is attracted to probably my subconscious notices that there's something that resonates with me there. And that was the case with this subject with the Akitos philosophy. I also spent while I was exploring that subject there were also a few events that happened kind of a few things which strengthened that idea even more and that's actually another system I used to implement in my life and sometimes I still do to make sure that I wouldn't do things in a rush and that I would choose the right things. I call it the system of free pluses it's not a great name I guess but it works for me and that is when I get excited about something and I feel like a potential that I want to do something I usually wait for at least for free different events unrelated to each other that would support that decision. So for example when I was planning to go when I initially thought about doing the winter warrior if you know my journey hopefully or basically I could say travel to the states to train them in May full-time. I wrote to Matt Fortin he had coach at that place where the program in one of the places where the program was run and I asked him if that's a good idea and he said yes my partner at the time as well supported that there was just kind of a thing things were laying laying out in a way where I was like oh this is a good sign this is a good sign and I don't like the word signs I think it sounds too mystical but just kind of events which support that idea and to come back to the main story main narrative that happened with this thing so far there are a few different events where the idea of exploring the philosophy of Aikido looking deeper into it and asking myself well how could it be practical it it kind of drew me into it and also I got those events which showed me that there might be something there not only for me but also for others. So I will definitely talk to you more about that and before I get to the next step I wanted to make sure to mention that that doesn't mean I'm interested in reinventing the physical side of Aikido. At the moment to say the least I am not inspired about that I did try to make Aikido chronicle functional to make it a into your martial art which works and delivers the philosophy through physical moment you know defending yourself without hurting others. My conclusion was that it's not worth it there are other effective martial arts who are already out there know why I reinvent the bicycle and if you do try to make Aikido functional my conclusion was that it will end up looking like other martial arts which are already functional. So just to say in a short way that's not what I'm inspired about the technical side Aikido techniques I'm not that interested in hyped about it but at the same time the philosophy I see that there could be some unique value there and not only value but something that potentially I could chip into significantly. This also relates to my personal journey if you're following this channel the journey you probably know that it's so far it's a lot about documenting my own exploration of what value I could give to people and one of the discoveries that stuck with me through this exploration is the is focusing on your strengths. It's focusing on things that you uniquely could deliver and that usually will rely on your strengths and strength that that's a mix in my opinion of your own personal capacity or I guess more would be your own personal qualities. Let's say if you're a patient person or if you prefer if you prefer writing over filming videos if you prefer writing versus speaking all of that and the other part is your expertise is where you spent where you invested most of your time and receiving certain knowledge because the more time you spend digging into the same place and into the same area the more unique knowledge and experience you will find there and the more valuable it will be to others that's one of the core philosophies I have that I apply all the time in my life and without a doubt I spent most of my life training and learning and practicing Akira. There was yoga there was meditation but Akira was definitely the clearest path that I spend most time in and now not not to come to an idea that oh that's why that's the reason why I you know I should that's the sole reason why I should continue exploring the philosophy Akira just because I spent a lot of time and it's downer to let go of it of course it's kind of a downer you know it was crazy it was it's almost weird and crazy that after more than a decade of constant practice and having Akira as my main livelihood I dropped it I know that that's part of the reason why people appreciate my my journey that I did that and I would be fine in continuing doing that as long as I don't see value in it but this is this is exactly what makes this point of my life interesting it's because part of me is trying to recognize that there might be something there which first of all could be valuable in my life which I cannot stress enough how important that seems for me to be meaning that I one of the reasons why I don't like the whole self-help world culture which is intending to criticize that on my on this channel eventually is because it's usually very presumptuous self-centered it's it's a lot about taking things which sound good and sound like they work and just throwing it on others without really embodying it yourself that's the last thing I want to do and for me it's very important that it's been for years very important that whatever I teach or give to others that I make sure that it would be an integral part of my own practice in my own life and that if it if if the potentially applied practical side of the acuto philosophy if that if that will not be practical in my life that will not show significant results then there's no point in looking at it first of all it needs to be applied in my practice now that's also there's another thing that's important to stress and that's the recognition that I have some guests here that they're conditioned that if it's only working for me that's also not a way to go I mean if it's practical for me and it works for me great but if there would be a part of the journey to kind of share the wisdoms here the experience the knowledge to gather knowledge from practicing it I would want to make sure not to make the mistake of considering that oh it works for me that means it works for everyone that's not a good way to go either it has to be universally practical but the first step undoubtedly for me is check how practical it is for you how much can you apply to your life and how valuable and inseparable from your life it becomes so it wouldn't be just about going and tutoring others but instead may be potentially showing an example so one more thing I wanted to introduce to you in this video which I'm intending to make a part of the title and I always like to say that you know the initial title might change as I produce the video by the way it brings coffee so part of the video that I wanted to introduce to you is also considering the the way the IQO philosophy already impacted my life and how what kind of a rough and crazy journey it went through and I won't go on repeating the whole journey for you but I wanted to look kind of at the psychological aspect of it which I honestly don't think I spoke so much about which I want to stress it here because that is the direct leading path to the next step of this and that is the recognition that IQO was such a big part of not only my life but also of my identity I was living the IQO philosophy I used to wear my IQO clothes way more than probably technically I should have you might know that I used to walk around in the city sometimes with it not to show off just because it was it felt practical for me it was easier for me to walk with it than without it and trying to get concerned I'll burn off bad by sitting here in the sun we might move a few minutes to a different place into the shade anyway though coming back to the main point the part the IQO was such a big part of my identity I was I definitely looked like an IQO guy and if you followed my journey you know that you know I looked like a very much traditional IQO guy and then I went on to how people expressed it in the comments saying that I turned into looking like a typical MMA guy you know tattoo short hair etc but but now I just really feel comfortable this way I'm not trying to represent anything but but it shows again that how much IQO was part of my identity and when I left it when I separated especially in regards to me being part of the IQO community a lot of my friends were doing IQO my mentor back in the day was an IQO guy and the philosophy was based so much on the IQO philosophy that when I started to see the dark side of it it was really really difficult not to throw it all the way at the same time and I acknowledged even on record that I do admit that most likely I threw the baby with the bathwater you know that it was almost impossible for me not to drop away the good parts or the bad parts just to kind of rediscover myself because I think to a degree and I spoke about that in some of the videos here on this channel there was also a bit of a cult-wide vibe where I was involved in and and the identity was my identity was built around that and when I dropped it that that belief system was such a structural part of me that it was hard to see the good things in it they were so tied up for me with the bad things the negative things yeah that when I let when I abandoned IQO I took me some time took me a few months but eventually after about a half a year I started to realize the separation especially with my past mentor and the community that I was a part of which actually we pretty much didn't have any contact whatsoever anymore just crazy you know that showed me the dark side of it because pretty much nobody contacted me after I left that community but when I left it I started to realize that was actually a painful experience it was kind of like some people associated with the same as leaving a religion which I guess would be a similar experience but the troublesome part for me was beforehand I was relying a lot on the IQO philosophy in my decision-making and my value structure and suddenly I threw it all away and I kind of felt naked which in a way it was a good thing because I could rediscover myself but it took me quite some time additionally to start looking back at what I learned for those for that decade and asking myself so what's the good in it and every time I would look at it was so difficult for me to see the good in it so difficult to separate it from the bad but eventually slowly bit by bit I'm still on on that process I could say I'm starting to look at it you know you know if I separate this part from that part actually there might be something valuable there that wasn't all that bad and it's kind of a fascinating process and it's kind of the process that I'm in right now another part of that was also me these days looking back at how I was and how I became to be and I just don't know how much I spoke about this on record to be honest I might have said it but make sure it stayed here that in the past that was much more idealistic which came also with a lot of being a lot of naivety oh shade finally so yeah it came with a lot of naivety I really felt like I was you know and I I recognized that I was a naive young guy but also you know I went straight from high school into a full-on a keto community so not that you can really not that I can really blame myself for that but I lacked a lot of experience so so I was very idealistic but also not very mature in some aspects another yes in some especially the world the aspects not really always start the camera because the timer is going up with time as I became disillusioned with the a lot of promises a lot of false promises of like you know my past mentors it wasn't I'd got disillusioned not only by my last a keto instructor but also my first one I became disillusioned about the whole community that I was a part of I was like high up I saw a lot of the dark sides of it that I did not recognize before and then also I went on to this per se war with like keto online which I think was my own heroes journey if you allow me to say that where I not only did I try to make sense of what happened to me and to make sure it wouldn't happen again but also kind of including others in it making sure that others wouldn't experience the same mistakes that I did but that also came for a very negative point of you not only for myself but also there were I got a lot of crap from a bunch of keto representatives you know I was critical and they were even more critical towards me and then I would that would piss me off and I would hit them back and they would hit me back and then eventually I came up to a point where I was like holy crap this is getting out of hand but through that all experience I have to admit that not only did I become much less idealistic but also I became much more cynical I also became much more skeptical of ideologies practices of people which I think that's the one which I'm least happy about and I can understand now with a certain sense of maturity with more life experience with more critical thinking I can see you know why sometimes it's I think it's justified to not trust people too much or to be a bit skeptical about masses of people but that also took away a great power from me which I think a part of me misses that faith that hope I believe I guess you could say that people can be better that people are not hopeless that you can make a difference and the reason I'm saying this all to you because it is deeply associated with the way I perceive the like what Akito philosophy is so I spoke about the Akito philosophy in that video you know what is Akito philosophy and why it fails so you might check it out or you might you know you might have seen it already so I'll try to make sure not to repeat myself but but I'll just say a few important points and one of those points in what Akito philosophy is is the recognition that you're part of a greater whole and I don't want to sound whoo-hoo but but there's also what's interesting is if you look at it rationally to great degree it's true that's what kind of makes it fascinating I don't think if the focus is right in my camera shoot I can't see oh no I'm wasting your time I guess anyway so there is a practical sighted that even just rationing if you look at it especially these days the fact that we're all connected is more evident than ever you know if the economy is hit in one place it the economies hit in almost the whole of the rest of the world we are also much more similar than we think and I think that's actually one of the things which people need to become more conscious of something that I'm opposed to is the fact that we tend to present only the positive side of our life and that creates the illusion that everyone is doing great and I'm not and I'm the only one who's suffering which is not that like that at all but when you look back at the Akira philosophy and you consider that notion of we are all part of a greater whole that starts to make a shift in your decision-making process because if I realized that if I if I consider more because if I consider that we're all related that we're all part of the same family that makes one much more empathetic and that makes you could be next one consider much more the perspective of the other person the easy way is to disassociate yourself from everyone to say okay he's stupid and he's stupid he's in that case he's hopeless he's different and not to consider what's the point of you are a person of how did he came to that point to that conclusion to that action decision thought of line but when you consider that it starts to create a certain bridge it starts to create a bridge where you can meet because you're not separate anymore if you're opposed and I hope I'm not talking too much of a highly fashion like to do high-level advanced and you know getting ahead of myself but I hope this is understandable I'll give you examples maybe but thing is if you if you associate yourself from another person think okay he's stupid he's hopeless he will never get it there's no meeting point you cannot there's it's pretty much impossible that you will ever that you will ever be able to get something across that person meanwhile if you ask yourself okay so how did that person get there you know what if I was in his place what would I want myself to do to me if I was in his place what would be the best thing if you consider all of those points suddenly there's a meeting point where you can realize where he's coming from and maybe you can find a middle point where you're like actually you know what they're standing there and I'm talking from direct experience it's funny because despite the fact that I abandoned like you know completely at the same time some of my some of the people that follow my journey noticed and point it out in my YouTube comments that I did apply the mentality of like you know more than once and that was actually very evident in some of the videos I made but also in some of the comments and you know usually the comments is not a great place for seeking of truth we can get into endless debates where nothing good happens and I've been down that road too but there were some cases where I went in that like into that IQ no mindset and I asked myself you know where is this person coming from what would be best for him to hear his evolution and when I did that I did get across to some people I did reach a point where the person was like holy crap you know I'd actually am starting to see where you're coming from you know we wouldn't maybe come to an agreement of a 100% where we would see both I tie but we would develop a place of mutual respect where beforehand that person used to hate me and actually one of the most I've had numerous of those cases but the most significant one especially if you follow my journey you'll know and you'll be interested in this one is my relationship with Lenny Slye if you don't know who's Lenny Slye short version very intense very masculine Aikido instructor he's he has these strong opinions and then he went on record and said that he hates my guts he hated my guts like badly and one time we met in the comment session of Facebook I don't remember what it was but we started writing back and forth and I really was in that zone of Aikido mindset of not hating Lenny not being opposed to him but really seeing where he's coming from understanding him and and trying to help him see my perspective that we're actually not against each other we're on the same page we just have different approaches and it took a few hours of back and forth but eventually we clicked and then we called each other up we spoke like for three hours non-stop we called each other a few times again we made some videos together and he said numerous times you know what I consider you my friend and I'll always have your back and you know I feel very dearly about Lenny's wall I love him but it's interesting because we started off from a place where he used to hate my guts and he recognized himself that after that kind of Aikido approach he started to appreciate where I'm coming from we started to appreciate each other so that was actually a very Aikido move you know but that's only one example you know I could keep on going and obviously I don't want to make this video last forever that'll just give you a few more ideas about what that applied Aikido philosophy could be it's not only the mindset and how we relate to each other which I do want to say is would be crucial and so valuable to the current mindset of individuals I think we're getting there but you know I'm not a politician I'm not advanced in understanding the world events and I don't want to have a strong opinion about it but but you know it doesn't come far you don't need to go far to kind of perceive and see the chaos that sometimes we experience especially these days because of our sense of separation because of not relating to each other and people often choose they violent responses and personally I don't think that leads to any practical value just going and bashing out windows and creating chaos I don't think that's a solution at all again I could see where those people are coming from but it's not a mature response and in such a in such case in such environment to add that Aikido mindset Aikido philosophy it could work wonders now the one of the reasons I'm interested to revisit the subject and to explore it is because in the past I was you know all fluffy and positive and I lacked a sense of that darkness to be able to relate to it more and to recognize that the shortcomings which is crucial in any exploration and now and more in that dark mindset of being cynical and realistic some would say but what if we would find the middle there what if we would find the Union Union between these two things I as I kind of pointed towards that idea I do miss that I that idealism that I used to have that faith that belief in people and the and the nature and the positive nature of human beings in the capacity of human beings to develop evolve become better to rediscover themselves I love to be a part of that evolution of individuals not not forcefully but in a very pragmatic and practical way and so it might be a long journey it might be something which will require a lot of energy but it might it just might be worthwhile and one more part about the Aikido philosophy which attracts me it's not only that that union that kind of interrelatedness perspective but also the founder Aikido used to speak a lot about our mission that we he would one of my theory quotes used to be he would say that we all that each individual has his mission each family has his mission and each country has its mission like a collective and that is our responsibility to fulfill that mission now it is somewhat of a bit of a mystical statement and it's it's complicated to directly point out what does that mean where does this mission come from and there's so many questions that pop up but I used to really hold dearly that that idea and I used to feel like I have a mission and that used to drive me dramatically I still do you feel a sense of a mission but but also being so pragmatic being having that questioning mind that critical mind it's much more difficult to tap into that mentality because as I said all those questions come up so where is that that mission come from who gives you that mission is one person's mission more important than another it's just so many questions but the thing is I also feel and it's actually from a video that Linda Heffernan sent to me who I had a talk with about cult mentality about young Carlyon where he points out that he suspected that one of the reasons why a lot of people feel so alone and so confused and so down is because yes we did lose religion most of us did let go of religion of faith I think it's a good thing to degree you know I'm not religious either but he was pointing out that the way I proceeded the way I understand and I and I like to agree with that idea that we do need to believe in something that it's inherent in human beings to require certain belief system and I'm not necessarily saying a religion but something to believe in and when I dropped like you know I dropped away a whole belief system and thank goodness you know it helped me with discovering myself and we discovered some great answers but some a part of me also feels like I'm I miss pardon me misses something that I would strongly believe in that I would allow myself to believe in and hopefully that obviously would be a practical pragmatic effective belief but I almost feel like a part of me needs something to believe in and that notion of what the Kitos founder suggested that that mission-based belief I think it would have to be very cautious in how we would approach it to make sure it wouldn't become a belief which would make us blind or irrational but to have but to believe in something which give you a sense of a greater purpose and again it's just such it's such a fine line I so much want to make sure it doesn't become a religion or a cult or something like that but it would all best do in intention do you I feel that sense of us having a purpose would also a good purpose a constructive purpose would be very valuable to a lot of individuals a lot of people to our society tar yet are the human beings to the collective and individuals so part of me is interested to look at that aspect of the Akito philosophy as well in the best way possible and there was the very last thing on my mind that I wanted to share and slick me it put my mind usually that means I need to drink some coffee shit with something smart and important let me see I'll make a short break I'll turn off the camera because I need to restart it and I'll see if I can come back on it all right I got it I remembered I thought I almost lost it but I remember and this is a big one an important one but I'll do my best not to make it forever and then you know hopefully I will still live for a while and I'll have chances to record more videos about the subject and deepened this exploration and making more effective but the point that I wanted to come across was something that I was considering a lot about was when I dropped Akito I feel I became destructive I use destruction man I really don't want to sound boo-boo but I feel like these words help me express myself so let's see for the sake of it let's continue so so I feel like I became destructive you know I bashed Akito to pieces I destroyed it and broke it down into parts to see what works what doesn't work primarily what doesn't work and I was in that kind of negative state which is powerful and also to you know I learned MMA which is also a very destructive you know I love them they're there's so much good about it and was in Jitsa too but but there's also that destructive nature there you're punching each other you're kicking each other it's it's part of it is about destroying the other person and it gave me a lot of power but lately I've started to feel like I'm starting to miss that constructive aspect in my life now I delivered I do consider that I delivered significant value through that destructive process through breaking down disillusioning people sharing the negative sides of things but also starting to miss a sense of creating something I'm not you know inventing a new bicycle but just delivering something which would be more tangible which would be more passable more useful more usable directly I don't know maybe I'm you know still too vague and you know this is a very early stage of this and the reason I made this recording is to capture this live exploration things will become more clear but I want to make this into a historic moment into a journey and lesson of all of us together but it's yeah it's still an early stage and it will take time to define things to name them to find the pros cons and most effective ways but but yeah part of me wants to look more at something which is more directly giving more tangible and like your philosophy a lifestyle based on the cure philosophy and the best possible way in the most efficient pragmatic way might be part of that answer so we'll see so let me know in comments what you think about all of this are you getting excited is this interesting to you I do advise don't rush to judgment as I said this is very early stages you know and it's still hard to specifically you know use the right vocabulary for this I want to make sure that to bring this across that I'm not looking into the Voo stuff of it I really want to still be practical pragmatic but I do feel there's some potential and I'm eager to explore it and to look at what it could be my life and the life of others we'll see where this goes this will not be the only direction that I'm taking on this will just be one of my products projects I'm eager to explore the various other subjects to you and I will continue doing that but but this most likely turn into a one of my directions so let me know what you think about that and the very last thing probably the haters already left the haters never watched the full video and the comment early but I just want to point out for the sake of it that you know I I'm not looking forward for the people who would be like oh we knew you will come back to a kiddo oh now you understand that I kiddo was always the best no I don't think I kiddo was the best I think there's some good things to I kiddo but there's a lot of crap I'm still a post-it doesn't mean that I'm all lovey and fluffy now that doesn't mean that I don't recognize the shorts short hands of it short sights and that I'm I'm saying that I was wrong what I am saying is that there might be something there which might be worthwhile bringing up and making more practical not physically but mentally so we'll see where this goes thank you for watching as always and keep questioning