 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with Midnight in Paris from Here's to Romance. According to the calendar, spring is practically here, but the weather doesn't always follow the Almanac so you can't count on it. You can count on Jell-O though and Jell-O's color and fragrance and freshness will bring a real touch of springtime to your main use, and the springtime it's quick and easy to get for Jell-O is quick and easy to prepare. It dissolves in a moment in hot water, it's quick setting and it's delicious. While there's extra rich fruit flavor in Jell-O, it's crammed with it. You smell that tempting fruit fragrance the minute you open the package, and your first taste tells you, here is a swell dessert. No matter how you serve Jell-O, perfectly plain or decked out with fruits and nuts, it's always a favorite with the whole family. All six flavors are fresh and bright and tempting. All six are packed with that extra rich fruit goodness. Just be sure to get genuine Jell-O and be sure to order some tomorrow. Then you can treat the whole family to a real touch of springtime. Midnight in Paris played by Phil Harris in his orchestra. Now ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow being the first day of spring, we bring you Sulfur, molasses and Jack Benny. Thank you very much. Hello again, this is Jack Benny, your little spring tonic coming to you. So open your mouth, swallow and make a face. Now that wasn't bad, was it? You know, Jack, it's nice to see spring rolling around again. Yes, it is, Don. Trees are budding, flowers are beginning to bloom, bears and good humor men are coming out of hibernation. Yes, sir, and birds are coming back from the south. Oh, flocks of them. And you know, Don, yesterday I saw a robin in our backyard who just flew in from Miami. How did you know he was from Miami? He was building a nest with tickets from Hialeah Park. You know, Don, one thing about the beginning of spring, it sure peps you up, doesn't it? Oh, I've noticed that too, Jack. It makes you feel lively and energetic. Energetic? Why, Don, when I popped out of bed this morning and started to dress, I laced my shoes and didn't miss one single hole. But honestly, Don, isn't spring the most marvelous time of the year? I mean, you walk out in the country and see babbling brooks, rabbits scampering around, snakes coming out of their holes. Did you call me, Jack? No, Phil. Oh, then I'll crawl back in again. Yeah, by all means. Hey, Phil, wait a minute, I nearly forgot. You know, I'm not going to be able to use your orchestra on next week's broadcast. You're not? Why? Well, listen, Phil, you too, Don. I've got a surprise for you. Tomorrow I'm leaving for New York. New York? Yes, I'm just going for a little pleasure trip, see a few shows, and next Sunday I'm going to broadcast from there. Well, are we going with you? No, Don, you're all going to get a week off. You, Kenny, Mary and Phil. Does that mean I'm not going to get my check next week? Well, I won't tell you, Phil, but don't be surprised if your bank book misses a beat. You'll just have to forget one week's salary. Oh, I'm supposed to forget, eh? Yes. Well, with the amount you pay me, I won't have to join the foreign legion. No, I don't know, you do all right. I'll say, Jack, who's going to be your announcer in New York next Sunday? Well, Don, Harry von Zell promised to help me out, and he's such an effervescent type. I think he'll be swell, don't you? Well, yes, if you like that sort of stuff. Now, of course, you will have to admit that he is very popular. You mean with me or with the foreign legion? I mean with me or with the public. With the public, and they ought to know. Von Zell is an extremely capable announcer. I know, Jack, but I just can't picture Harry saying Jello is America's favorite dessert. It comes in six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. It won't come from the heart. Oh, it won't, eh? Well, it better. And I'll tell you who else we... Oh, hello, Kenny. Hello, Jack. Did you have a nice time in New York? I'm not going till tomorrow, Kenny. Anyway, how did you know I was leaving for New York? You borrowed a suitcase from me. Oh, yes, I forgot all about that. And say, Kenny, that's a very unusual bag. It's the only suitcase I ever saw with legs on it. Well, it's made out of fresh alligator. Oh, that's why the handle snapped at me. And a fine thing, a live alligator suitcase. How am I going to get my clothes in? Wait, let yawn. Well, I'll manage somehow. By the way, Jack, as long as I'm not going with you, what orchestra are you going to use next Sunday? Anyone but Abe Lyman. His music is all right, but I don't want that thug hanging around me. Thug? Yes. I'm going to New York for a vacation, not a breakdown. Well, Jack, you might have had a little trouble with Lyman, but, oh, he's not so tough. He's not, eh? Last fall when he was here, he gave me a slap on the back, and my socks changed feet. I don't want any part of that guy. Well, you'll have to have music. Who are you going to get? Well, there's Whiteman and Olson, Bester. Of course, Stakowski is in Italy. I can't get him. Now let's see. Hey, Jack. What is it, Kenny? When Stakowski comes back, is Garble going to sing with his band? Yes, Kenny, if they can get high-fetched to play the bazooka. Bazooka? What's that? I don't know. Say, Phil, have you got any bazookas in your band? No, just pelukas. Oh. Well, tell them to put down that jug and get ready for Kenny's song. What's it going to be tonight, Kenny? A little number called, I See Your Face Before Me. Well, that's all right, Kenny. Give them the high-class stuff all the time. Hit it, Phil. Hold it a minute. Come in. Telegram for Jack Benny. Right here, boy. It's collecting. Am I going to have trouble? Never mind that. How much is it? $1,54. Here you are. Collect. I wonder who it's from. Hey, fellas, it's from Abe Lyman. Lyman? What does he say? He says, dear Jack, understand you are coming each next week. I suggest that you use my band if you want to see New York from both eyes. We'll meet you at the station with my car and an ambulance. Take your choice. Sincerely yours, Abe. Well, how do you like that for a threat? Who does he think he's bluffing, anyway? Or who does he... Sing, Kenny. I'll use the band I want to use. That's right. Your face before me, sung by Kenny Baker. Well, Kenny, I won't be able to hear you now until a week after next. I suppose you'll be listening in next Sunday. Yeah. But say, Jack, who's going to take my place? Well, Kenny, this is really a surprise and a thrill. You'll never guess who's promised to come and sing for you and be just as good as you are. Lawrence Tibbin? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Just as good as you are. Lawrence Tibbin? No. It's not a man. And Grace Moore? No. Jeannette McDougal? It's Jeannette McDonnell, but it's not her. We're going to have Kate Smith. Kate Smith? Yes, sir. Isn't that swell? And that's not the only surprise. You know who else is coming on the program? Al Smith. No. As a... As a special treat, we're going to have Fred Allen. Gee, it'll be good to see loveable old louse again. He's a pretty good guy at that. Well how do you know Alan will appear Jack, did you ask him? Ask Freddy while he'll be tickled to death to go on with me. I bet he can hardly wait till I get in New York. And Don, believe it or not, we're going to have Bob Ripley too. How's that? Well... Hello everybody. Hello Mary. Well Mary, I'm glad you dropped in before we went off the air. Where were you? Oh I went for long walk and just sort of lost myself. Isn't spring wonderful Jack? Yeah. Hats are budding in the windows, dresses are beginning to bloom. Yeah I know and Hattie Carnegie is coming out of hibernation. Say that's a new bonnet you've got on there now isn't Mary? Uh-huh made it myself isn't it cute? Yes but it's got a lot of stuff on it and such colors. Where'd you get the idea? From a fresh vegetable place. Oh yes I see that poached egg on top there. You know Mary, women's hats this season are certainly the limit. Most of them look like something to eat. Yeah you ought to see my new pork and beanie. Say Don, can you imagine if men wore the kind of hats that women do? Wouldn't it be awful? Yeah imagine walking into a store. How do you do sir? I'd like to see something in a bacon and tomato stetson. No mayonnaise on the crown. Please. Would you care for a pickle in the hat band? Sweet or sour? Well a dill is very popular this season. Oh I don't know what kind of get but I do want a hat that's nourishing. Why don't you get a new England Boyle fedora? Well you're not kidding Mary that's just about how silly women's hats are. Oh uh Mary did Jack tell you that he's going to New York tomorrow? Oh sure are you going to have a girl on the program Jack? Well Mary Kate Smith has promised to help me out. First she's going to read Kenny's lines then she's going to sing Kenny's song then she's going to play your part and then you know what else she's going to do? Collapse. No but she will be very busy. Is she going to take tickets at the door too? Of course not NBC has well-trained ushers for that. I hope they let me in this time. I'll bet you're all excited about going. What orchestra are you going to use? Well Mary I haven't decided yet it's between Paul Whiteman and Abe Lyman. Of course Lyman is in New York right now. Uh-oh the telegram's working. Well Lyman is in New York. So is Paul Whiteman. I know but Lyman is thinner than Whiteman and it's a small studio. Besides that Abe has a trombone in his orchestra. Well of course every orchestra has a trombone. I know but his has a derby hat. But all trombones use derby hat. Well this one fits me and let's drop it. You see Mary uh Phil thinks I'm hiring Lyman because he threatened me in a telegram. Did he scare you? Why should I be scared of him? If you want to know something Mary Abe wears a charm bracelet. Well watch out there's a blackjack on us. Just the same that wire had nothing to do with my decision. Well suppose the Whiteman threatened you. Don't worry about that Abe and I will take care of him. And by the way I better answer Lyman's telegram he was nice enough to offer his services. Take a wire Mary. Okay. Uh dear Abe. Abe uh how do you spell that? A-P-E? No A-P-E. For heaven's sake don't make that mistake. Abe that's all I need. Well you told me he looked like one. I did not I merely said that if he went to the zoo and fell in the monkey cage they'd have a little trouble sorting him out. That's all I said I've never referred to Lyman as an ape. Well you're going to pay him off in penis aren't you? Oh quiet. Write the telegram. Dear Abe regarding your offer to appear on my program next Sunday night I will consider the matter if you keep your price and temper down. Furthermore I must insist that you come to rehearsal on time if you can make it. Stop. In conclusion if these conditions are met I will give the matter further consider consideration. Have you got that Mary? Yes. Then read it back to me. Dear Abe the job is yours. It's not what I said but let it go. Oh wait put another line in there. Please see that the boys in your orchestra eat their lunch before we go on the air. Because last time I was broadcasting knee deep and herring bones. Say Jack did Lyman's boys really eat during your broadcast? Yes they did Phil. Take out your dinner pales man we're as good as they are. Hey cut that out. Now that'll be all Mary just sign my name. Shall I send the wire collect Jack? No I better pay for it he's liable to kill the messenger boy. Well I'm all set now I've got my orchestra, singer, announcer. I'll take it. Hello? Long distance? Yes I'll take it. I wonder who it can be? I hope there's no. Hello? Oh hello Fred. It's Fred Allen fellas. Well say Fred it'll be nice having you on my program next Sunday night. What? Well look Fred none of the others are asking anything. I said nobody else is getting anything for it. Well it isn't like you Fred aren't you being just a wee bit mercenary? All right I'll give it to you. Yes you can take my word for it you'll get it before the broadcast. So long. What a guy. What's the matter Jack? Oh nothing. Come on what is it? Oh Allen won't go on the program unless I give him my Boy Scout knife. I hope he cuts himself on the bottle opener. He wants your Boy Scout knife. Yeah gee I hate to give it up I've had it since I was a tenderfoot. Oh well he's not going to get the chain anyway. Say fellas I gotta run home now and get ready so carry on with the show well I haven't even started packing yet. I'll come along and help you Jack. Thanks Mary. I'll come too Jack. No Kenny you'll only be in the way. Well it's my alligator and I'm going to pack it. Oh all right come along play Phil gee I hate to give up that knife I just had it sharpened too. Install the jam played by Phil Harrison his orchestra. Now folks we switch you over to Jack's house where he is preparing for his trip to New York. Now let's see I've got my dark suit, two pair of shoes, my razor, shaving cream. Oh Mary did you pack my toothbrush? Yes it's in the box with your extra teeth. My extra teeth where? Right there. Those are my new cuff links. Extra teeth. Jack where are your neck ties and hand cheese? Mary's packing them aren't you Mary? Yes I put away your handkerchiefs, ties, socks and cigars. I don't want my cigars packed such a long grip they'll get dry. No they won't I put them in the bowl with the goldfish. Mary my pets aren't going to New York with me. They're not? No. Then I better take the canary out of the hot water bottle. What? Why can't he the bird will suffocate in that hot water bottle? He will not I punched holes in it. I knew I should have left you in the studio. Hey Rochester. Yes sir. How are you coming along with the wardrobe trunk? Okay boss I'm almost finished. You know it's liable to be pretty cold in New York this time of year. I wonder if I should buy some long underwear. Don't bother I sewed leggings on your shorts. I suppose you glued earmuffs on my derby. No I put them on your toupee. Well they'll fit snugger that way. Say Rochester you made my reservations on the train all right didn't you? Yeah I got you drawing room B and car 57. A drawing room I told you I wanted a lower berth so I could get some air. Fine thing. Take the drawing room Kenny you'll punch holes in it. I never can get what I want. What am I going to do with a big drawing room? Maybe you can sublet it. For this I'll take care of the important things myself. I wish you would I'm all in. All in I don't work you so hard Rochester. I never get any time off. You don't eh? Why the other night when I was walking in my sleep you stuck a vacuum clean in my hand. Well I figured as long as you're wearing out the rug you might as well clean us. What are you laughing at? Look what Kenny just packed in your suitcase. Kenny take that mouse trap out of my grip. The mouse too? Yes. Got everything in there but the family album. Oh say Rochester you have to drive me down to the station in the morning so you better put the luggage in the car tonight. I think you better take a cab Mr. Benny. Why what's the matter with the car? We got a flat. A flat? Well you can fix that before morning. No sir this is the whole re-end. Fine thing how did that happen? Well I was backing out of the garage this morning and you know that big concrete post that stands up in front of the driveway? Yeah. Well it's laying down now. Well see that it speaks before I get back. Answer the door. Yes sir. Well Jack the grips are all patching ready to go. You want to lock your trunk? No I got to wait till Sleperman brings my tuxedo. I had to have it cleaned and pressed. Clean and pressed? That old thing? Oh my tuxedo isn't so old. Go on there's a moth in there with rheumatism in both wings. Mary I know the moth you're referring to and he's not that old. He isn't eh? No. And why do you feed a milk toast? Leave me alone and don't drag Herman into this. Oh hello Andy. Hi you buck just thought I'd drop in to say goodbye to you. Gee I wish I was going along. So do I Andy why don't you come? Well buck we're awful busy right now on the farm. We've got a lot of plowing to do and besides that our goat just had a blessed event. She did that's funny I didn't see anything in windshield's column about it. I mean either he must be slipping. Well Andy I imagine you're pretty busy this time of year at that huh? Yes sir ma's doing her spring cleaning and when I left the house she was washing paws beard. I see. You ought to come up later there's going to be a lot of fun. There will? Yeah she's going to put it through the ringer. Say I'd like to be there at that. Well here's a ticket everybody's coming. Well buck I think I'll be running along now. I hope you have a nice trip. Thanks Andy so long. So long buck. Don't let him sell you the Brooklyn bridge. That's a hot one. Ah good old Andy nice of him to drop over huh. Oh Jack. Yeah. Where are your scissors? Here what do you want them for? I want to trim your suitcase there are a lot of neckties sticking out. Don't be so lazy open it and tuck them in. Answer the door. Now let's see what else. There's my overnight bag that's all set and oh Rochester hey what's this in my hat box? I thought you might get hungry so I made some jello in it. That's fine but you should have taken my hat out first. I was alone I'd have been through an hour ago. Hello Jackie boy. Oh hello Slap did you bring my tuxedo? Here it is a fugitive from a rummage sale. Well give it to me. Now look Slap look at that lapel. I told you that I told you to take the stains out and they're still there. Bad stains though are stains remover spots that's where they are. Well looks worse than when I gave it to you. Now let's see here's the pants the coat. Hey where's the vest? I left it in my shop. Why didn't you bring it with you? It was too weak to make the trip. Go right back and get it. Here Rochester put my tuxedo in the trunk. Yes I got it. Hey don't fold it it's brittle. All right Slap how much do I owe you? Well now let me see are you in a good mood or do you want to talk Turkey? Never mind the turkey what do I owe you? Well pressing is 50 cents for you 45. Yes. Dry cleaning is 75 cents for you 80. I'm even again. 80 and 45 is a dollar and a half. 80 and 45 is a dollar and a quarter. Well I took a chance. Now for this job all you get is a dollar here. All right I'll sue you for the rest. It's a fine mess he made out of my tuxedo. Look Jack it's on the floor. On the floor Rochester I told you to put this suit in the trunk. I did but the new one keeps throwing it out. Well don't get funny and put it I put it in the trunk and lock it up. Yes sir. Well that's a relief now I'm all set to go. Say Mary how about you and I going out and getting a bite to eat eh? Okay Jack I'm starved. Come on you too Kenny. Hey where's Kenny? Oh Kenny where are you? Here I am let me out. Good heavens Rochester locked him in the trunk Rochester open it and let Kenny out. The key's in there too. You lock the keys in the trunk that's the most stupid thing you've ever done. Where do you look for your ticket? Oh come on Mary let's go out and eat. What's the key to that trunk? Oh that's all right we'll punch holes in it come on. Do you want to try something new and very swell for dessert? Well here's a grand suggestion. It's one of the most delicious combinations you ever set on the table. Luscious fruit rich raspberry jello combined with prunes. If ever a prune was glorified this is the time and here's the way to make it. Disolve one package of raspberry jello in hot water and chill until slightly thickened. Then fold in one cup of cooked seated prunes cut in quarters. Chill until firm and serve with cream. It couldn't be much easier to make and when you've made it believe me you've got something. Shimmering red raspberry jello molded with delicious juicy prunes. It's a swell combination. It's an unusual combination and your family will want more. So try this grand and new dessert but be sure to make it with genuine jello. For only jello brings you that delicious extra rich fruit flavor. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell jello. The last number of the 25th program in the new jello series and we'll be with you again next Sunday night broadcasting from Radio City New York and I hope you'll all be listening in. Well Mary I've got to run over to Phil Baker's show and congratulate him. I heard this was his fifth anniversary. Well be sure and kick beetle farming. Yeah I will. Good night folks. This is the national broadcasting company.