 to detach in our mind from those false thoughts from the attack thoughts and we'll be able to see it just commonly see the false as false but that's one of the stages kind of that we go to once it starts coming up and you start working with this place it's like there's a real tendency to want to project or be the unhealed healer Jesus calls it the unhealed healer you don't want to go around and get moving without having healing ourselves and it's you know just to watch ourselves do this you know and go through it it's really something I had him as a therapist or anything else here and I wasn't there was a man here in Jackson a while back that talked about there is no compromise and that's the part that I want to do at the family level I mean how else is a 15 year old and a 12 year old going to know things if I don't tell him if I don't compromise this course and make sure I bring it out and I keep referring back to to his thing it's just plain no compromise and in the family level I have the that's the hardest part for me to work at you know with my children in my life we just when we were up at Travis City we just went through that pretty deeply because as well a lot of the issues were coming up of how as a parent you know I need to just that limits when we had actually repeated again last night where a gentleman was saying you know I have a son and he's got a duty to clean the bathroom and he doesn't I suggest I remind it's just filthy I look at the bathroom I start to get angry you know just describing this whole dynamic and what what we've kind of been going into is once again it's these self concepts that the parent is another role and there's lots of unconscious stuff down there about good mom and good dad good moms do it good dads do it this way we have these these unconscious beliefs that are down there and what happens is the basic situation is is kind of like with parents and children a lot of times there's a there can be a big control struggle not just with parents and kids it can be in relationships all kinds of relationships but but there can be a big control struggle where it seems to be a battle of egos um where the world is kind of teaching you've got to help tame and train this ego to at least adapt and become somewhat normal to function you know they have to you have to learn that there's things that you have to do in life and you can always tell when you're sliding into ego is that it's the control feeling and the tone of voice when the demanding and the commanding starts coming out you know I think of the the Course in the Holy and Jesus saying that the Holy Spirit never commands and never demands He always reminds and suggests well right away the I'm right away the students will come to right with certain situations or with certain children like wait a minute I've reminded and suggested to a certain point then I've got a really guy I've got a bear down here you know and this and that but really it's always our own lesson I mean the children are those great mirrors again you know that whenever we start feeling we're off the beacon whenever we start feeling controlling or angry it's kind of like if you can pull back to a level of spirit or a mind level it's kind of like what's the deal we're equals here you know did you forget there's just these roles now you know they're but you see how wait a minute does this is the role I am the dead you are the son or you are the daughter you know as soon as the mind clicks into I am the role you know then the control comes in because there aren't any roles in heaven it's clicking into ego because okay okay because we're so long into that whole that role that those expectations take over and we have expectations then of our brother it's kind of like I'm in this role and you're in this role and we're in this role same together that isn't I mean it's an illusion it may be an illusion but it's also a fact well of course this thing is basically it's an interpretation that the only fact is is that of that Christ or oneness but within the dream world these identities these soft concepts that we make up include a lot of roles plus also I'm sorry I don't mean to jump into the thought that came to me was that we also have perceptions about what that means as far as our roles and as a parent or sometimes that's an issue that that's hard to let go of when you're in that when you get into that role it doesn't need to do this you need to do that in the ultimate sense the course is saying that the the real authority problem it talks about like on page 43 of course the authority problem is with God coming down to can I create myself or was I created you know and what happens is is when I get into that I can create myself that's where the self-concept comes in knowing can I but I have and part of it is I chose to go into whatever to be a parent don't education take this business job this and that so you can see where all these lessons that come up really are ways to start us to loosen our identification with these roles and because all of our expectations that we place on our brothers that seem to be violated by their behaviors or really just expectations we're reading meaning on to the situation from our own role and being identified as a male being identified you know even as a course of miracles if I identify myself as a course of miracles teacher and people and I perceive somebody as trying to weaken my position then here it goes again I got another concept or construct that I have to let go of because I'm still as long as there's a defensiveness or or fear or anything that's uncomfortable within us we're still clinging to some kind of role or some kind of a concept that we leave as more valuable than the truth that's really interesting because I know time started with it but both of us has even I'm only like 40 lessons into the course but it's like you had to wear two different hats I mean you wore this the course of miracles hat and you applied it to your life but when it came to your kids you had to put on a different hat because they have certain rules and and regulations they need to follow in order to get where they need where we think they need to get to and I mean we've talked about it in our group meetings you know when do you apply the whole course to your whole life or do you apply it to you know when are you supposed to be trying to become and it was it was really difficult trying to cross over that fine line of one year it's okay to do it and when it's not so it's better just to not compromise it don't compromise it at all and work it work it you know in our whole family life just this thing about judgment that Jesus says in the course that you believe that without the ego all would be chaos but he says I assure you without the ego all would be love see when the mind had these dark beliefs in it and there was all this seeming horror and chaos when it seemed to buy into the separation that all this judgment is is a way to try to bring some control and order into the chaos and this is addressed if you want to go back to the book it's addressed at page 273 in the in the text where he's talking about ordering of thoughts where he says but you've literally limited yourself by all these judgments and orderings that it takes a lot of trust to let go of like you're talking about these ideas and beliefs about letting go of these constraints and restrictions and judgments about my children because an underlying belief is if I let go of that they're gonna be all hell's in a break list you know and they're gonna grow up and what a reflection on us to have wild children you know you see how it goes ego will just run with that and it does take a lot of trust to generalize this to your to your family situation if I'm going to insist in a classroom of you know 30 adolescents that that they have something to complete and then I expect it completed it's like watching your emotions and reactions that's how we can tell whether we're listening to the voice yeah and the thing about it is that the course isn't a path to saying yes yes yes I mean there is a part of an absence from Felicity where and it's been talked about before like let your yay be yay and let your nay be nay but but feel real clear that if that there's still ego centricity and codependency involved if we associate following the Holy Spirit with saying yes to everything and everyone I mean you can see how you can you just totally give away your sense of integrity but that the spirits in there and the spirit literally if we if we just stay with our emotions and we keep surrendering that will tell us when to to say yes when to say no when to maybe put down a guideline that could be helpful you know we can put down guidelines but but it's that insistent and demanding and commanding and getting upset when they don't seem to follow in everything that the whole lesson for us is always to be extending the life and extending the peace and it really does get at our own beliefs and expectations and roles I mean I see where that's the thing that's like always the lesson what do I value in my mind what am I holding on to it's more important than than seeing the Christ in this person or child and that's it that's the thought I just had was when you said seeing it and I can think of certain conflicts that I've had with with my children and the thought came to me was if I if it gets to a conflict then it's obviously something I'm not willing to see that's left to be seen so I haven't given it enough time for that for for what it is that I need to see in this situation so I said so I lost patience and say I'm not ready I'm not willing to go that far let's just do this let's get into the conflict of it and and it's when I find that I just if it's not there yet then I just wait and and then I can I get the answer so to speak and then you see it so it's a matter of maybe it's just like that taking that extra moment to wait for the to see it that's like that so it is so in the situation maybe where in a classroom situation it's not necessarily to let it go it's what do I need to what do I need to see in the situation what is what is it in what do I need to hear about what it is I need to do next and like you said which I thought was great but is this is something that I can say yay about or is this something I can say nay about it'd be a piece of it right either way yeah I think teachers are a really hard time because society puts some role expectations on the teacher and what they're supposed to get out of each student you know in order to go from grade to grade I mean like time going in fourth grade just can't go in and say well let's learn what we're going to learn and hope we all do well you know I mean there's certain standards that every kid has to do every year you know and he's got certain things he has to make them produce in order for them to get to the next year so you can't just have that oh free well kind of attitude that you can in other in other jobs or other situations it it still starts to be more of one of those sneaky ego ploys that that that certain situations or certain people have it more difficult or easier and really what it does is it flies in the face of the first principle of miracles which is that there's no order of difficulty miracles and that's the hardest one kind of like Jesus at some point of course said if you could get the first one you've got the whole course you don't even need the other 49 you know just this is a very basic one but but that's the basically ego strategy towards all kinds of conflicts is it basically always says if something were different in the world or if the situation was different or you know it always is trying to change something on the screen to bring about the peace and and the mind is so resistant to just saying oh it just takes a change in my perception in the moment but that's the one thing that the mind in the deceit state is so resistant to and in the end that's what the atonement is to start to see there's nothing outside of me that can give me peace or take away my peace to do that though you literally have to um I would say just transcend the roles they were asking one guy asked one of these channel entities I don't know if it was um Samuel or uh there's different ones but they kind of the question posed to the gentleman was um it was kind of like well how how can I be enlightened and still be in the corporate world you know and the answer came back you won't kind of like you know that the deeper we go and the more we we literally transcend the concepts that will be used in ways that we can't even fathom and foresee but that but what the ego does is it takes the current seeming concepts and situation and just kind of projects them out you know into the future so I see it as a path that's just being present in the moment whatever it's the situation is that you seem to be in and and using those opportunities and then not getting too concerned about about the next steps or trying to figure out how is this ever going to work am I ever going to be a teacher and be enlightened or am I going to have kids they used to ask Tars saying can you become enlightened and have children you know it keeps coming back to me back to the compromise I actually have less trouble in the classroom than I do at home because I take it back home and say you guys aren't going to be like those but Dan hit me with that compromise and then as I've been you know see I wanted I just want you know it's a another word for you hear you say justification or you know the defense or whatever um as I've kept going on here and then hearing you know like I say with these all these different ones sales put it in our group really well I've got to hear it and I got hearing in my voice or your voice before I get you know