 This is Think Tech Hawai'i. Community Matters here. And welcome to Shrink Rap Hawai'i. My name is Steven Philip Katz. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in Hawai'i. And I am so happy because today I have a great friend with me and a fascinating guest. And her name is Jules Constance Williams. Welcome. Hi there, Steve. So, we know each other a bit, but I'm going to pretend that I don't so the audience can find out about you. And one of the things that you do in life is you're a nurse, yes? Yes, I've been a nurse for 20 years. How did that happen? By accident, quite honestly. Really? And really against everything I had planned. I went to school for fashion merchandising, French and business. And even though I wanted to help people, I didn't want to follow my mother's path. I really wanted to say, no, I'm not going to be like my mother. She's a nurse. She's a nurse. And although she was really happy being a nurse and enjoying her work, it was very fulfilling. I didn't want, at an 18, 20-year-old, I did not want to follow my mother's footsteps. So I went on for what I thought I would be my dream of making everybody happy by wearing hookah-ture or really nice clothes. So what happened? I fell in love. I did. I fell in love with a man who was not interested in leaving America, living in America, and really wanted to stay in a real small rural area where I went to school for my first degree. And I gave up my dreams quite honestly. I gave up my dreams for love because I thought that's what you do. So how did you end up being a nurse? So, good question, good question. I realized that I took jobs where I needed to to support myself, but I wasn't happy. And then I'm like, okay, my goal was to help people feel happy, be happy. And maybe I should look at this nursing thing after all. So I went to nursing school and I got out of it and I loved it. I absolutely loved it. Hard work. But the golden nuggets of meeting people, caring for them, knowing their most intimate details, thinking them at the worst and at their best, that made me feel alive. That really felt good. And so I started my journey and so my nursing career lasted, but my marriage did not. And what brought you to Hawaii? So I was a travel nurse and I wanted to check out Hawaii. It had been on my radar since I was a 10-year-old. From movies? My grandparents took a trip to Hawaii and they brought me back this cute little plastic purse that was the hula girl and everything. I didn't know where this exotic place was, but it just felt like a place I should go to. So as a travel nurse, you can go anywhere pretty much in the U.S. that they have a need. And so with my skills, they created, I ended up, Maui had the position that I wanted in ICU. So oh, ICU, that's intense. Yes. Very sick people who really need guidance and kindness and also the science, the life-daving aspects of time. It also isn't that incredibly stressful being a nurse in an ICU where people are sometimes on the brink of being alive and not being alive. Yes, definitely. There's a lot of adrenaline that can happen and a lot of stress, a lot of reflection can also happen. You can take a toll and quite honestly people can burn out pretty fast with that kind of stress, whether it's an ER in ICU. But again, seeing the difference that we can make in helping the people is a great honor, a great honor. So talking about stress, a lot of the people I see are dealing with stress. And I'm always curious about what's successful, how people who manage their stress successfully to some extent at least some of the time. What do you do? How do you manage that? Well, sometimes I did really, really well. And other times I'd go home crying or in the middle of a shift, I would excuse myself when it was safe to go to the bathroom and just kind of cry because of the emotions that would come out, whether someone was actively dying or just having their own struggles being ill. Maybe it was a loved one, a spouse, a child, a parent who was struggling with maybe some of the choices that they had, of things that they had said or done to the person who was ill or maybe it was the person who was ill who was regretting something. And it could be really, really hard. So what I kept on hearing was people would have a little conversations here and there about the importance of their meditation practice. And when I looked at the people, I'm like, oh, they look pretty happy. They don't really look that stressed. I wonder what it's like to feel that way under stressful situations. And I wonder how I can bring more of me to my patients so I can be more present, more conscious and more helpful. And that pretty much, just noticing the conversations that were happening around me, I found out that a lot of people were meditating, but I did not know how to do that. And so you do what everybody does. Well, we didn't have Google back then, but looked up, asked questions, find out what, you know, asked, what are you doing? Do you meditate? How do you do that? What are the challenges? And so I did not know when I first decided I was going to meditate to see if it would help. I did not know that it would be stressful. I found it stressful because I could not meditate for more than 30 seconds when I first began. And so I tried the breathing techniques, the candle, looking at the flame technique, the upright mantras. I've tried everything and I was really kind of stumbling. And everybody I spoke to said, oh, you should do meditation this way. This is the right way of doing meditation. And then I would do meditation and I would judge myself, oh, I'm not doing it the right way. This is what Bob says. This is what Janie says. And I didn't know how to get to this peaceful serenity to help decrease the stress in my life. I didn't know how to do it. And so it took several years of practicing to get me to where I am right now with my meditation. Was it very gradual or was there a sudden change? Like, oh, this is the meditation that works for me. This is the technique that works for me? I would say looking back that I don't have a definite one or two time a-ha moment. I guess I do remember thinking, oh, that was just five minutes, five minutes of meditation, of not thinking of anything. Wow, I think I might be able to do this. I remember that. But it was really about practicing and just saying, what feels right inside of me? What do I need? Maybe I need to oom out loud. Maybe I need to listen to music. And just trusting that inner voice that is within all of us that's going to give me and lead me to the right direction. So now do you have a set way that you do it? I still listen. I still tune in. Listen to what? Oh, good question. What are you listening to? It's the same voice. It's like a liking. It's the same voice that says what if you're going to have ice cream. And you like both chocolate and vanilla. And maybe you like pistachio also. But some days you're in the chocolate mood. Some days you're in a pistachio mood. So it's kind of like listening, checking in. With yourself? With yourself. Like, huh, what feels right? And when you practice listening, it gets easier. Listening to yourself? Listening to yourself. Wow. Yeah. It's kind of like when you have a pain in your arm. Intrinsically, we just put our hand over the pain. And we might massage it. And we just kind of listen to our body or just like, well, this has worked before. So, you know, I'll just hold it for a while. And so you kind of practice and then you explore and you try different things. Uh-huh. I like that metaphor. Yeah. So when you say, listen, you don't just mean here. You mean pay attention to how you feel? Thank you. Yes. So people can know things. They can know it just like, it just drops in the idea. The thought just drops in and you just, you know something. You know whether you're supposed to take the job or not take the job. You know if you can trust someone or not trust someone. So there's knowing, there's hearing. Some people actually hear, hear messages of yes through that or go there. Some people feel, I'm a huge feeler. I can really feel something's right. I trust that. Like trusting your gut. Right. And then so there's, some people see things. Uh-huh. Something you said earlier before you started talking about the meditation got me. When you were talking about working in the ICU and how sometimes it got to be so overwhelming you would go to the bathroom and cry. And I thought that that actually is very healthy because, no really. Because you allowed yourself to feel your feelings and express your feelings. And I think a lot of people create a lot of trouble for themselves when they deny their feelings. Like, oh I can't cry now because I'm a professional nurse and I'm not allowed to cry. Or I'm the doctor and I have to look very professional and unmoved by all of this. Sure if you're in the middle of surgery you don't want to be heaving. But you need to take time to let yourself feel your feelings. Exactly. And like you said, there is an appropriate time. If someone is in need and I'm working it does me no good, it does them no good. It can impede their healing or what has to happen between family members if I'm crying too much. Right? Because I'm also taking care of you. Exactly. And you know, we are human and we need to give ourselves room to be human. But you're right, you have to be aware. Like is this a safe time to leave my patient and their families and have another nurse watch over them while I excuse myself for a couple of minutes and like feel this. Otherwise I think that's why a lot of people burn out or they shut down and they're not consciously caring for Hawaii's patients or the patients around them. Because they're not taking care of themselves. Exactly. Exactly. So then bringing it around to the meditation again, sometimes during your meditation practice do feelings come up? Definitely. Definitely. And in the beginning it scared me. It scared me because during some meditations I would feel like sensations. A warm, a warm warmth or a cool breeze would come through my body or I would feel it around my body. There's no wind out here. Why am I suddenly feeling a breeze? And so some of that was scary. Yeah. And sometimes emotions. I got angry sometimes in my meditation and I'm like, this isn't supposed to happen. Where's the happiness? Where's the bliss? But those were things that I had somehow kept inside me and that needed to be released. And so you have to allow. Bliss. We're going to allow them to do a little insert here while we take a break and we'll be back with more bliss in one minute. Don't go away. Don't touch your mouse. This is Shrink Rap Hawaii. Welcome to Sister Power. I'm your host Sharon Thomas Yarbrough where we motivate, educate, empower and inspire all women. We are live here every other Thursday at 4 p.m. and we welcome you to join us here at Sister Power. Aloha and thank you. Welcome back to Shrink Rap Hawaii. I am still with my guest, Jules Constance Williams. We were talking about bliss and speaking more about bliss. I don't know if that's what your website's about but you do have a website, right? What would we find if we went there? If you went to ancientHawaiianHealings.com you would find a bunch of fantastic people who help others heal through different modalities. Modalities meaning meditation, healing practices such as hands-on, balancing chakras. We also have been trained in Ho'oponopono, ancient lives, life-reading, and it's a blending of whatever the client needs. So let's say you're in need of help of maybe letting go of something in your life. How did you know? No. And you're like, huh, I would like someone to assist me and I'm willing enough to be vulnerable or I'm ready to take the next step on my healing path for this area of your life. You could go to ancientHawaiianHealings.com and you can look at there are three or four of us that are healers that are trained with the same teacher. And we offered various different healing methods. Each one of you does different stuff? Slightly different. So what do you do? I do. Well, I mentioned earlier that I'm a feeler. So I'm a bit of an empath, they would say. And so I would lay my hands with your permission, lay my hands over your chakras. And so there are seven main chakras of the system. I don't touch the sixth or seventh chakra. Sorry, the second or first chakra, which are the lower chakras. And then there are secondary chakras in the joints of the limbs. And I just kind of feel to see what energy might the body be holding. And then I allow that, I listen with my hands and I feel with my body. And I ask, what do you want to tell me? What do you want to release? What do you want to allow to be spoken, to given up? Or given up a story that maybe the patient, the person has been holding onto. That's no longer serving their life. And so I then give it voice, whatever it says. I give it voice and I allow the person, the patient, to hear what maybe the forearm is holding onto. Or maybe what the rest of the body is holding onto. And what they need to hear. And oftentimes the body is incredibly supportive to the person. But the person isn't necessarily listening to what the body is trying to say to them. So let's just say, just hold your hand here. And I'm just going to have you deep breathe and relax. And we're just going to see if anything comes right now. So what I feel, I hear whatever is a needing and wanting to trust, to trust. And so I would just say, wow, you know, this part of your body wants to know that you can trust. That there's something in your life that you're not trusting. And usually the person, if they are quiet and still enough, will be able to hear what, or they'll know what they're not trusting or what they're a little hesitant about. Can you allow, can you allow the knowledge of yourself to help you trust in this situation? Did you say the knowledge of myself? Yeah. So that goes into another area. So we're all made of energy. And the energy gets affected by our environment, our thoughts, our words, our actions. And our cells, there's the biology of belief by, I believe it, is Bruce Lipton. He talks about how cells are actually able to hold onto energies. And that is sometimes a creation of disease. And they're proving that the science is actually catching up with what people might say the woo-woo world. Right. Science is catching up and finding out, wow, you know what? The cells do have, there's memory cells going on. The cells hold onto energies if it is serving for the person, like anger or mistrust or whatever it is. Just put out a paper about how a lot of back pain comes from unexpressed rage. Unexpressed rage and also it can be financial concerns. Uh-huh. Worried about, oh yeah, I've been having a little back pain. Okay. Okay. Okay. So we tailor, I tailor, we tailor what the client needs. There's usually a talk story element to it. What's your concern? What's been going on with your life? What are you ready to heal? So like when you were holding my hand and saying, it feels like I'm having trouble with trust. Uh-huh. So if I could say, yeah, I'm really worried if I could continue to be able to pay my rent. And somehow I could express that and learn to trust that, yeah, I'm going to be all right with that. Yes. And that you actually, there's a part of you here. There's a part of you that, the saying's not really good, but that has your back. That if you would listen, just trust that there's a part of you that is transmitted maybe through your hand at this moment. That knows that everything will be okay. So instead of spinning your wheels and your worry about mistrust and inability to generate funds or whatever it is, and just say, you know what, there is a part of me that knows that this is going to play out. There's a part of me that knows that I am going to be taken care of, that I am 29 years old, or however you old, that has been guided and has made really good choices, knowing that, that, that life force is going to help carry. Yeah, that's a big deal in my practice because people come needing to make big decisions. Like in their marriage, should I stay or should I go? Or should I stay or should I go to Hawaii or, you know, leave Hawaii or come back? Or should I take this job or what should I do with my kids? Yeah. And so you're saying if there is a place where you know. There is a definite knowing. There is, I believe it is the life force in all of us that generates the life that helps us through decision making. And one of the things I love about psychologists and marriage therapists and therapists is that you actually help the patients, the people speak their fears, speak their concerns in a safe spot. Right. And so it is similar in some ways. Yeah. You know, I'm creating in the healing session a place where the patient can or the person can do their processing. And through certain healing techniques, I help them let go and then create something different. So it's very similar. Because sometimes it's really hard for people to verbalize it because they don't have the words of how they're feeling. And so when you hold my hand or another chakra and you say, I'm feeling this, it gives them an avenue and opening to say, oh, yeah. Oh, that is there. Yeah. You know, and sometimes there's crying, sometimes there's anger. And it's all okay. It truly is all okay. So the blending of what I'm trying to do in my own personal life is take the science and the caring that I am as a nurse and bring my spiritual life and meld them together. And how I do that consciously is that I look at the science. I look at the evidence based information. And I bring what I am empathic. And I try to help people express things that are on their mind that they have never said that might actually relax their body and their mind and their spirits enough to create an opening for healing. And it doesn't mean that you don't do the antibiotics if it's necessary, that you don't do the breathing machine if it's, you know, if it's necessary. You do them, but you blend them together. Right. And that's what I'm trying to do in my conscious caring for my patient. So blending together the science with the woo woo stuff. Yeah. I don't like the woo woo word. Okay. With the energy. With the creative energy that is in every one of us. So, you know, you've heard that words are powerful. Right. Right. Words are powerful. Thoughts are powerful. And our cells are listening. And there's science that is now showing that, you know what? Our cells are listening. So let's be conscious. Let's practice through meditation, through breathing or whatever it is. Let's practice that so that we let go of the words, the actions, the thoughts that are no longer serving us. You may have served us at one time, but they're no longer serving us. So let's consciously create the health and the joy and the love and the bliss that we are, we really are deserving to have. And with that, it's always good to end with bliss. I want to thank all of you out there for joining us again with Shrinkwrap Hawaii and my fabulous guest, Jules Constance Williams. Thank you so much, Jules, for coming on the show and sharing your bliss. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Aloha.