"Hi, my name is Michelle and I'm an Ex Mormon."





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Published on Nov 19, 2010




Having grown up in the Caribbean I remember hearing the wonderful stories about the temple. I was excited when I went to the temple for the first time to "take out my endowments." This is where it all started.

As I attended the temple over the following years, more things began to stand out for me.

Over the years I developed a coping mechanism for dealing with the questions I had about the temple. One lingering question I had, begged to know where the ceremony originated. I also felt that no one had prepared me for the experience and wondered why. So I came out of the temple that first day with a million questions swirling around in my head. Like a good Mormon should, I smiled, and said 'yes it was a wonderful experience" to anyone who asked, but on the ride home I was pretty quiet.

I did everything I was supposed to do as a faithful member of the church. Living the Mormon gospel was quite easy for me. The adjustment to married life was an easy transition. We were married in the Cardston, AB temple in 1994 and by the time I graduated from Ricks college I was several months pregnant.

On October 13 2006 I boarded a plane headed to Salt Lake City for my Sister in Laws' wedding to be held in the Salt Lake temple later that day. On that trip to Utah we visited with family and friends, toured the beehive house and saw the recent Joseph Smith movie produced by the Church. That movie marked the beginning of a journey that led me to some very important discoveries.

We were all very excited to see the recently produced Joseph Smith movie. I sat in that movie theatre and watched this very glorified depiction of Joseph Smiths' life while family and other viewers sniffled at the tear jerking scenes. I watched Joseph Smith being depicted as a model citizen teaching a young man how to treat his wife. It was all so perfect, too perfect. White washed propaganda is what came to mind as I sat there wanting, waiting, wondering if they would show the other wives that I was aware he had. I realized right then and there that if I were one of these visitors to Salt Lake City and this is the version of the Joseph Smith story I was given, it would be missing a whole lot. And then the thought came to mind, what else have they to hide? What else do I not know? What else are they not telling me? When the movie was finished I did not join in on any of the conversations about how great and touching the movie was. Under my breath I said to my husband, 'what about the other wives?' to which he quickly shushed me. Right then I knew there was probably more to the story and had to ask myself, "If polygamy was an eternal principle why are we ashamed of it?" I couldn't help but feel like the message of the restoration was first presented to my family in a similar fashion as this movies depiction of Joseph Smith.

Disingenuous, dishonest, crafty were all adjectives I could think of to express my opinion of the movie. The honest part of me would not allow loyalty to override my circuits. I had to find answers. I flew home to Canada and immediately started researching the one thing that bothered me the most about Mormonism. The temple. What I was finding out bothered me immensely but I didn't feel like I could talk to my husband about it. Boy was my husband scared when he checked the history on the computer. It was as if he'd seen a ghost when he came to our room that evening when we finally talked about it. By this time I knew about the blood oaths and other things that had been changed from the original ceremony. I knew quite a bit about Joseph's involvement in masonry and polygamy and along with being almost physically sick about the whole thing I was angry. A bull in a shop filled with red china wouldn't be an understatement as I confronted my husband with what I knew. His first response was to call it all lies being spouted by 'anti-Mormons'. He wanted me to promise not to read any more. To this request I took exception as I do not believe in censorship and I let him know how wrong it was for him to even suggest it. I wanted for us to determine what were lies and what was not. I pointed out all the disturbing facts without any opinions attached and let him know that I wasn't interested in an interpretation of the facts. The facts stood for themselves and the facts were disturbing according to my own frame of reference.


To read Michelle's full story, please visit Michelle's post here:

Comments • 4,701

David Suggitt
One  thing I notice about these ex mormon videos is how genuinely happy these people look. I was involved in opression myslef for many years and I know how great it is to have the weight lifted off your shoulders. I sincerely pray that more and more mormons would free themselves of the chains that bind them.
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This is Michelle, i'm posting this for the third time in response to a comment below.  My comments have been removed/spammed twice and I happen to know that the site admin did not remove it.  so lets try again: Dear Glen, this is the "self-deluded lady" you referred to above.  I own some very sexy underwear from Victoria Secret and I can wear then how, when and where I want, or not at all.  If you are half the mormon that I was, you must wear the mormon underwear day and night as explained to you in the mormon temple.  You are also required to answer "yes" truthfully, when they check up on you once a year to see if you're wearing the underwear they prescribed for you  just before they gave you a new name, and made you swear to give everything you have and will have, including your very life, to defending the Kingdom of God upon the earth, namely the church of jesus christ of latter day saints (lower caps for added punch).  If as a grown man or woman you can allow an institution to get so deep into your head, that they tell you what underwear to wear and sell it to you,call you in once a year to do inventory on whether or not you're wearing it, asking you whether or not you're paying them 10% of your income, and the list goes on and on, then if that is not handing over your will, I don't know what is.  Deluded much?
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Rush Ron
Thank God you came to your senses. Black folks are the last people that should be mormons.
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how could you be a mormon ?  they are racist towards black people !! actually in their book saids something that black-skined people are sort of second rate people and evil ! - quote : those who chose to remain neutral betwin the batle of angels and demons were curserd to remain with black skin,and those who fought valiantly were white and happy  , wtf ... )))))  i;m white btw and dont buy this crap for a sec ! 
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Darren Rollins
So Michelle - you don't tell us why you left.  You just say that you were judgemental and then you stopped being judgemental.  I don't think you can blame the church for being judgemental.  That's on you.  So who is sponsoring these posts?  Anyone want to be honest on where these come from? 
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Humberto Tlaxcala
I am glad you left that church, I wish that all mormon open their eyes n do the right thing. I hv studied that religion n I fount out many lies the member hv being told. Cover ups, joseph smith had 34 wives, 2 teenagers n 11 of them were already married to another man. He was highly involved in freemason n the ocult. He lied lied lied. I feel sorry for all the mormons that are in a church that its founded on a sinkhole. I somehow help those who are still in that church. Im trying to help them even its not easy because they were told to not associate with anybody who not agree with their belifs. But ill keep on trying. 
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Kevin Carter
Joe peaceman you should re - name yourself Joe Goofball, And Justin, buddy I'm sorry but you're just too far gone. You'll never escape the Moronic Matrix. C'mon Joe! You seem like a reasonably intelligent guy! How is it that you can't see through this sham? GOD doesn't make mistakes! He doesn't have to keep amending himself and his commands. People do that. Fallible people who are making up the rules as they go along. It's obvious that this cult was poorly put together at a time when the Nation had a very different social climate; and as things in our Nation changed, your cult grudgingly changed as well. The truth doesn't change guys. Otherwise, it wouldn't be the Truth. Maybe you guys were born into the church, and just don't know anything else? Just open your eyes, use reason; put away your bias and really think about this critically. Hopefully one day you'll see the light. 
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Mister Anthropy
Thank God there is no God.
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Daisy Fields
oh wow i just watched a documentary on this religion and my god its awful all it teaches them is to trust no one and annoy everyone i watched as they brain washed these kids in to running after people and tormenting them into believing what they believe feeding them only enough to keep them alive which i might add is number one method of brain washing for any cult practically holding them prisoner for 2 years so they can brain wash them further they have so called partners aka prison wardens that they are practically shackled to for the 2 years that have to literally shadow them 24 hours a day the only time there aloud to be apart is when they need the toilet they even say its so they can keep an eye on them at all times hell they cant even hug people each to there own and all that but really this is sick
Payne dv
Mormonism is not true
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