 have you ever tried to dismantle or cut away the ego? It doesn't work. And I vehemently disagree with any spiritual teacher, guru, or whomever has ever said that we must disconnect or cut off or cut out the ego. I think this is really dangerous and stupid advice, honestly. In this video, I'm going to share with you some of the watch words that I have found to be very helpful in my own life and in giving guidance to others. The watch words of the ego and also define it and the ways to bring the ego in and get it involved in our lives, to bring the ego along. My name is Tiffany Barstodi and I'm a spiritual teacher, guide on the side, and find evidence in being a clinician and researcher in subtle energy and in these realms of helping people to help themselves. So it's in that spirit that I wish to share with you some of these learnings that I have found. Perhaps you've heard of the acronym for the ego of edging God out, E-G-O edging God out. I believe there's some truth to this. However, it's dangerous territory if we try and annihilate any part of ourselves. For that matter, not just the ego, any part of ourselves. There's a difference between having the vertical relationship with our high self or guardian angel or creator or the universe or the divine, whatever you want to call it. The difference is also with having a relationship in the horizontal plane, which ultimately disconnects us from the divine. It nails us to a cross, if you will, because it's actually more attached to the fears or anxieties or things that we may be reacting to in the world. It's usually revolving around our shadow aspects, that horizontal plane. And when we're attached to the things that are in that horizontal plane, we tend to be looking in the outside world for belonging, connection, safety, identity. So let's not try and dismantle or take apart or annihilate any part of our self. In fact, it will fight back with such a vengeance, and it should. It's a primal part of our existence. If somebody tries to come after us as a living human breathing being, we're going to fight. And the ego needs to be treated essentially with that same respect, from my point of view. So in defining the ego, as well as classical definitions and my own, is the ego is our self identity. It's our personality. It's got a collection of experiences. It's collected all of our life experiences. And it's actually part of what has created the subconscious terrain, the information that is within our field. The ego has the ability to help us achieve actually the I am presence as taught by the ancients in the Vedanta and the Gnostics and all pretty much ancient wisdom in the First Nations people. The first thing is to connect with who we really are. So the ego can actually help us be able to achieve that. But in the beginning, it may fight. And the last thing we want to do is try and cut it out or cut it off. That's just dangerous territory. So there's a difference between acting egoically and acting in egotism or somebody who is egotistical. And that is a personality type that I tend to deem as sort of one that's kind of all consuming. It wants to collect everything from the outside and make it its own. It tends to not be satisfied with its own power. It wants other people's power as well. And it's essentially looking for anything in the outside for the sake of achieving an identity that it thinks that in having or amassing those types of things that are actually going to bring happiness. And I think we all know that's not in the realm of authenticity, that is more in the realm of superficiality. So to step out of egotism or egoically living is becoming more about being insourced rather than outsourced. And I'm meaning that word differently than in the business world when you tend to outsource something. Being outsourced means from an egoic standpoint that I need other things to be a certain way. And that's just not reality. So to come out of a superficial relationship with the world, ultimately, we must honor that there is a need of the ego to ultimately have and be its own identity. It's unique identity. It's a crucial part of exercising our own personal will and individuating. And this is a real gift of life. Individuation is a lifelong process as taught by Carl Jung, and it requires us to essentially make the unconscious conscious. In fact, the one of his best quotes in my view is, until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our life and we will call it fate, which is actually destiny, but that's a different topic. The point is to start to individuate means that we are coming out of those shadow aspects that might be calling to our ego. When we become inner sourced, insourced, we are being aware of, yes, what internal needs we may have, but it's not about being so much in relation to what's happening in the external. The watch words that I wish to share that I have found incredibly helpful, and they just came in one day and gosh, it was really, it was identifying. And gosh, also how much I caught myself doing this. I think it's natural, it's human development that we almost go through, but it's a bit crazy making in the midst of. So have you ever said to yourself, I need to, I have to, I should, or I ought to? Of course, you have. That's totally normal. The thing that I wish to bring to our collective awareness is these are words of the ego. So I have found these to be incredibly helpful for identifying when I'm being attached to something in the external. So these essentially are the watch words of the ego. Need to, ought to, should, have to. Of course, we have needs. We have needs to be fed. We have needs to sleep. We have needs to earn a living. We have needs to connect with others. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about being so identified with things that we may be trying to define ourselves with. We can change the internal language of the ego to help it also come along to I get to, I get to be whatever, fill in the blank. I get to do whatever you choose. I get to have whatever it is that you want to put in your reality. I get to create. I get to eat. I get to, I have the opportunity to, I choose to. Those are preferential words of helping the ego be able to come along and realize that there's choice, which is the power. Also another way of coming out of so much egotism is when somebody asks who you are, you say, my name is rather than I am. It's just a way of having more of an observer relationship and point of view with yourself. The ego will come along. There, I actually, I got a tattoo on my foot. Gosh, 20 years ago or more. And the, it was a heart in the shape. Well, it was a heart, but in, in the very crook of my little toe. And it was meant to be, be a symbolism to myself. It's the death of ego and the love of self. And I suffered through because it was also during the winter and I'm trying to wear shoes and all it was really a painful place to have a tattoo done. And then I had a realization one day, like, wait a minute, I'm not trying to kill my ego. And it is not the opposite of self love. It was a realization that we can do and both. And in fact, actually, an act of self love is helping to bring the ego along. So as a friend within our subconscious terrain, our ego seeks to be included, not to be left behind, not to be cut out or cut off. And in fact, actually, the ego will fight like hell. It will, the ego looks for consistency. And no matter how dysfunctional that consistency may be. So some of the things that go on in, in the sort of the madness of creating out of the same situation and expecting a different result. The ego will think that it's actually safe in doing that because it's predictive. There's an outcome that has sort of repeated itself. And we also have within our power to say, hmm, we're going to make a new choice this time. And because we're making a new choice, we're going to get a different outcome. So to bring the ego along, to recognize the drivers of what is motivating me in this time to say to do whatever it is, whatever's coming out of the mouth, whatever actions might be being taken at the time, look at what's motivating that action. So we want to question our motivators to see if it's coming from an external need. Or if it's really coming from an internalized place of inspiration that is more of a pure motivator that we're inspired to take action, we're inspired to do, to be, to have, to create whatever that is. When we say the words need to, have to, ought to, should, we had a great saying in graduate seminary of, thou shall not should on thyself. I still use it. So we want to just stop. As soon as we catch that need ought to, have to, should, stop, just notice it. And then ask, what's motivating? What's motivating me to say that? And get an alignment, get in a vertical alignment. What am I inspired to do right now? Of course, we all have things that we must attend to. There's all quote, a little bit of obligation in life, to some extent, but we don't want to live our life purely out of obligation. There's usually no payoff. We want to live predominantly out of our life, out of inspiration. And the bottom line is we want to align our energies before we take action. It's a really big thing to contemplate that no one else is responsible for the actions we take. For what comes out of our mouths and for what, what movements we make, however we move in the world, no one else is responsible for that. We are. So no matter what, above all, we have choice. In fact, philosophically, I believe that's really all we have. Destiny and free will play a role in our lives, which is really a topic for another time because it's a big one. So suffice it to say, it's about us choosing to choose. That's using our will, our willpower and being in relationship with our ego as well. And having appropriate boundaries with ourselves, I guess, is a good way to also look at it. What is external versus what is internal. So let's bring our egos along for the ride, please. It's so painful to do the opposite or to even think that that is a possibility. It's not. And no good will come of it. So let's bring the ego along for the ride of a lifetime. We're so lucky to be here right now, even in the mayhem and the craziness of what's going on. We're learning. We're learning things. That's the point. So let's help our ego to grow out of the shadow of past habits or behaviors that no longer serve and be able to be a part of the wholeness of life that we actually get to co-create together. To live a whole health in a lively sense, we really must be intact, healthy ego and all. So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be the observer, to be aware of the motivators, what's driving you to do XYZ, whatever is going on for you. Please do not try and eliminate any part of yourself. Let's bring it along. Every aspect of us is seeking growth. Thank you. My name is Tiffany Barsoe, a guide on the side who wishes us, who wishes to help all of us end this karmic wheel, this insane-ness of sameness to stop repeating history and doesn't serve and it causes more suffering. It's our choice. So breathe. Take in what you can. Revisit this as you need. This kind of insight took me a while to unpack. So revisit it. I'm grateful you're here and listening and taking action. Truly the world needs all conscious hands on deck. We are here to help ourselves and others and if you're called to that, you really know this. You really know this deeply. So I thank you. And if you like this content, please be a part of the Heal and Thrive website and community and the YouTube channel. There's a lot more resources on HealandThrive.com. And my husband and I, Paul Mills, we sometimes create videos together. He's a scientist. I'm a theologian with no dogma. So we've made some videos together about gratitude and this is actually, you can't really have egotism and gratitude at the same time. So find these moments where we can really appreciate ourselves. I'm super grateful you're here. Thank you for all the work you do in the world.