 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and funnies. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, little Miss Honey. How are you today? I've got a riddle. Oh, jolly, jump up. Ask it to me. Ready? Ready? Ready. Add 10 to nothing. Add 10 to nothing? And what animal does it make? That's right. It has to do with numbers. Yep. Is it a zebra? No. Is it a... Oh, I give up. This is too hard. What kind of an animal can you make when you add 10 to nothing? Ox. Ox? Yes. Oh, there's nothing. Yes? Yes. And can you make... Yes. And O-X equals ox. Oh, yes. Ox. A Roman ox. Yes, very good. So, you see... I certainly do see. Now, can we please read the comic? Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well. I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, bringing up Father. Magic words for the music page. Very well, my lady. Let's have a merry Irish jig. Maggie has ordered the butler to pack some things in a barrel. And she's told him to set it in the front porch so that it can be picked up. Last picture, top row, jigs comes home. There stands the barrel waiting for the express company men to pick it up. But Maggie hasn't told this to jigs. Jigs exclaims, Well, well, look at this. Someone sent us a gift. And first picture, second row, jigs is rolling the barrel into the house again. I love surprises. I can't wait to see what's inside. A moment later, the express truck pulls up. Two men get out. Well, this is a number. All right, but where's the barrel? You know, every time you say barrel, I get thirsty. Yeah, me too. Well, if there ain't no barrel here, ain't no sense standing around in a dry porch. And inside the house, jigs is prying the barrel open. And he's having a tough time of it. Yeah, like comparison, a bank vault. It's easier to open than this barrel. And then last picture, second row. I think it's open, though. Second picture, bottom row, Maggie comes in the house. She sees jigs head just in the barrel, crossing out big bunches of hay. Here's him saved. A judging from all the hay. There must be a horse in here somewhere. I think I hear someone coming in. And then... Hey! It's the Mohammedans! Jigs is sitting in the doctor's office. His hands bandaged up, his eye black, adhesive tape all over his face and head. And he's telling the doctor. It must have been Maggie, Doc. But both she and the barrel were gone when I came to... Surprise! No, not what he expected. No, I wonder what was in that there. I do, too. Whatever it was, you can bet it was all broken to pieces by terrible tempered Maggie. Yeah, Maggie. Well, now... Oh, that's right, he is. So let's turn over the page and go past little iodine and Prince Val on page three. Turn over page three. Go past Snuffy Smith on page four. Turn over page five. Go past Buzz Sawyer on page six. And there on page seven is Roy Rogers. Remember last week, Roy came to a place where he found a mechanical man hanging from a tree. That's right. It was a mechanical cowboy. It had arms and legs and spurs on the feet. And a metal chest and a metal head. And it was busted. I wonder what this is all about. Well, let's read. Maybe we can find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Ah, yip-ay-oh. Now, here we go with Roy and Trigger. Roy is examining the mechanical man that's hanging from the tree. He hears hoofbeats. Third picture top row, an old friend gallops up. Hey, Cube Root! Well, I should have figured you and your slide rule weren't far away. Hey, is this another your inventions? Only the remains, Roy. Had an unhappy experience with Bronco Williams. Cube shakes his head sadly and he dismounts his last picture top row. That's a wonderful idea. A mechanical man for breaking wild Broncos. But alas, something went wrong. He was unseated by one of your untamed man killers. Roy laps and lifts the mechanical man in a saddle. Well, come on, let's get back to the ranch. Let's go, Cube. Second picture bottom row, Roy and Cube arrive in an old barn that Roy has rented to Cube. And which Cube has made into a complete laboratory for his experiments. Come on in, Roy. My mechanical Bronco Buster failed me, but I've just completed a new invention which will positively amaze you. Well, I try to bear up, Cube. They walk into the laboratory. In the shadow, a gunman with a handkerchief drawn over his face stands watching them. Cube leads Roy to a workbench where a kettle stands in a small stove. Cube, what in thunder are you brewing? It smells so bad. Oh, that's my newest brain, child, Roy. A noiseless explosive that works. I call it QTNT. Then suddenly, last picture, the masked man is behind them. I'll take some of that stuff right now. So do I. He could reopen the safe. Yes, well, this is an unexpected turn. Yes. Now, we'll find out more about this next week. But now look below, Roy Rogers. There's Walt Disney's Sword and the Rose. Oh, yes, because it's in the early days of England when men were knights. Yes, and one of the bravest of these knights, a man named Charles Brandon, was in love with the Princess Mary. And you remember, the Duke of Buckingham had tried to kill Charles Brandon so he could marry the princess himself. But last week, Charles Brandon appeared out of nowhere, and they entered the little church where the Duke of Buckingham had taken the princess Mary. And Charles Brandon rescued the princess and held the sword of the Duke of Buckingham's throat while Sir Edwin tried to escape and take the princess away. Yeah, you bet he did. And now, I wonder what Brandon will do to the Duke. Kill her? Well, let's read right now and find out. Here we go with the Sword and the Rose. It's Mary, Mary, England when knighthood was in flower, Sir Edwin and the rescued Mary galloped toward the harbour of Calais. We must ride fast, Milady. We have a small ship waiting to take you to England and safety. Inside the rectory of the little church, Brandon holds Buckingham at sword's point to give the princess time to gain a good head start. Then Charles backs out the door. Once I've seen Milady Mary safe, I pledge we shall settle our score, noble Duke. He locks the Duke in. He runs for his horse, leaps in the saddle, and gallops off. Short time later, second picture bottom row, Brandon has joined Casterdon and the Princess Mary at the seashore. They've left their horses above on the cliffs and are preparing to row out to the ship that's waiting to take them to England. And then, they see a horse approaching. It's booking. He's found a path down the cliff. Sir Edwin, look to Milady Mary. I'll take care of him. Charles, you must be with us. No, Milady. I gave my word. I'd meet him once you were safe. And Brandon gives the boat a push, sending it out of reach. And then Buckingham gallops up and into the water. Before Brandon can reach for his sword, the savage Duke is upon him and swings at him before he can defend himself. We're back for you, Brandon! The Duke swung at him with his sword before Brandon could turn around. Look, Charles! Well, we'll find out about that next week. But now let's turn over to the last page of the first section. And look, here's Flash Gordon. Oh, yes! And just as he landed on the planet, his mind blacked out. Yes, he became subconscious. Yes, and when he regained his consciousness, he found a kindly hermit, an old man leaning over him. And the hermit is very friendly. I wonder what Flash will learn from him about this strange planet. Well, let's read and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Rigger, rigger, doon, doon, saskimatash. Let's sub music for heroic flash. The hermit, a kindly man named Philo, has taken Flash to his own peaceful retreat, the ruins of an old castle. Flash thoughtfully says, I don't get it, Philo. There's that beautiful quartz just below you. And you live here in this hermitage. Yes, it is a quiet city and beautiful to the eye, but ashes to the touch. However, that is of no interest to you. Yes, what makes you think it isn't? Last picture, top row, Flash says. I came here to gather information for my government. There's something I ought to know about that city. I am an old man. I am content to ponder the wonders of nature. But you, your first is for adventure. First picture, bottom row. Philo looks thoughtfully at Flash. You will find much of that in that city. Then more, too. For it is a city of doomed souls. I will say no more. Okay, Philo, if I've got to find out for myself, I will. Wish me luck. And Flash walks down the incline away from the ruins. Farewell, Flash. Bye, Philo. And thanks for everything. And then, last picture, as soon as Flash disappears, the old hermit stands within a room in his retreat. He throws his head back and calls... Rosini. Rosini. It is I, Philo. Hear my thoughts. A young man approaches the city. Is that certainly surprising? Yes, because he seems so friendly to Flash. And now he's warned somebody about Flash. Well, that's something we're going to have to wait until next week to find out. But now it's time to pick up the first page of the second section. Oh, yeah. We'll find out in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwood and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Farewell, my lady. I'm a from Zim Zam Zambi. Conjume music for Dagwood and Blondie. Dagwood is chatting with Blondie. I feel sorry for Eddie. His wife arrives home today. Why, sorry. Well, his whole house is a wreck. Dirty dishes piled up to the ceiling. Well, why don't you husbands help him out? Hey, that's a good idea. I'll round up the fellas. And sure enough, last picture, top row. Dagwood, Herb Woodley, Fred Snerdly, Ed Gerbley are at Eddie's house. We came over to help you get your house cleaned up, Eddie. Oh, fine, boys. But we've just got three hours before my wife arrives. And first picture, second row. Eddie is at the broom closet, digging out mops and stuff. I'll get out the house cleaning equipment and we'll start right in. Hey, you got a deck of cards, Eddie? And five minutes later, the boys are all playing cards. The house cleaning is completely forgotten. I'm out. I'll bet two red ones. I'll raise it a blue. An hour and 40 minutes later, first picture, third row, we're still at Eddie's house. I'll bet six red ones. Dagwood happens to look at his watch. Great score, Eddie. Your wife's train is due in 20 minutes. Oh, I'll rush to the station. You fellas get busy. And Eddie dashes for the station. And the fellas stack the dishes up on the lawn. Dagwood turns the garden hose on. This is the way I wash the dishes when Blondie goes away. Herb begins to dry them. Fred leans out the kitchen window. Pass the dry ones in to me. Ten minutes later, Dagwood and Ted are in the kitchen. Dagwood is flooding the kitchen floor with the garden hose. Okay, Ted, sweep it out. Ted sweeps the water and the dirt right out the back door. This is the quick way to do it. Yeah, you're set it, Dagwood. First picture, bottom row, Dagwood whizzes around the living room with a vacuum cleaner. Ted with a dust mop. And Fred with a cleaning cloth. 20 minutes later, Eddie and his wife enter the house. Eddie's wife takes one look around. What a wonderful husband you are, Eddie. The house looks beautiful. It's glistening. And last picture, Dagwood, Herb, Fred and Ted are walking up to the Bumston house. Dagwood says cheerfully, I don't know why wives make such a fuss about keeping house. And inside the house, Blondie overhears this and goes... Now that gives me a good idea. I'm washing the kitchen floor with the garden hose. I don't think my mother would like that. Well, then I won't do it at your house. Well, now let's turn over the page and look at who's on page three of the second section. Donald Duckle. Oh, my favorite favorite. And we'll read your favorite, favorite right now. Here we go with Donald Duckle. Say the magic words with me. Squeezing, squeezing, squeezing, Let's set music to better quack, quack. Donald's nephews, Louie, Huey and Dewey are out on an adventure. They arrive at the city dump where all the trash in the city is dumped. They stare at it in amazement. Dewey exclaims, Gee, what a keen place. And a second later, the boys are going through all the junk. Louie picks up an old rusty stove pipe. He looks at it lovingly. Golly, why do people throw away such good stuff? Huey picks up an old automobile spring. He sighs ecstatically. Hey, look at this. Third picture top row, Dewey has found an interesting little contraption. It has a wooden handle stuck onto an iron bar about four inches long. And there's a little lever that you press with your thumb and a little piece of metal lifts up from the bar. Hey, guys, watch this. Hey, looks like part of a flying saucer. And then Louie exclaims, I bet you it's a pair of pliers from Mars. Last picture top row, they're at a fix-it shop talking to an old gent. Hey, Mr. Rapidly, do you know what this is? Hey, you got me, boys. I never saw anything like it. Second picture bottom row, they show it to Professor Jones, an expert on atoms who's supposed to know everything. He examines it carefully and then shakes his head. I'm sorry, boys, it's a due and not me. Third picture bottom row, they're walking down the street wondering who can tell them what the mysterious gadget is. And then they meet a little girlfriend, Susie Q. Hi, fellas. Oh, hiya, Susie. Where'd you get the curling iron? Huh? My mother used to have one of them. Curling iron? Hey, what's it for? Oh, you just get it warm. Hey, little kid, you don't say. Well, well, what do you know? Some time later, last picture, Donald comes home. He enters the living room. For Donald sees the ends of the rug all curled up. Books lying on the floor with their pages curled. The cat with her whiskers and tail curls. And the dog entirely covered with curls. And they certainly went to work with it, didn't they? Yeah. Yeah, they certainly do. And Donald looks mighty surprised. Yeah, he couldn't look more surprised if he'd gone to sleep and woke up and found himself covered with curls. Oh, that's so funny. Well, now look across the page. There's Dick's adventures. Oh, yeah, today. Maybe he is. Let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Riggity-pack-ca-zack-ca-zick. That's some music for a pinch of the stick. It's in the early days of America. The year is 1820, 150 years ago. And Dick at his art teacher, Samuel Finley B. Morse, approached the executive mansion in Washington, D.C. Workmen are still repairing the damage done by the British six years before. Last picture, top roll, Morse says happily. This is going to be the most important picture of my career, Dick. Think of it. I'm going to paint a portrait of James Monroe, the president of the United States. Morse notices that Dick's reaction is not as enthusiastic as it should be. First picture, second roll, Morse says, if it's your opinion, Dick, that I ought to devote my life to science. You don't want me as an art teacher. We better part company right now. But Dick protests he meant no slight. Oh, no, Mr. Morse, it's just that you're so sensitive. Yes, yes, I know. I have doubts about whether I'm good enough to. At the door of the White House, he stops. Last picture, second roll, he turns away. You're right, Dick, it's no use. I'm not good enough, I'm not, I'm not a good enough artist. I'm not going through with it. Now, please, please, no, no, Mr. Morse, please, stop. You are, too. They asked you to paint the president's picture, and you're going to do it. And then, first picture, bottom roll, the door swings open. Yes, sir? Oh, tell the president, please, that Samuel Morse the artist is here. Yes, sir. This way, please. If there's any question in Morse's mind of his ability as an artist, it is dramatically removed. President Monroe himself ushers him to the second floor of the White House, where a room has been especially set aside as a studio. This way, Mr. Morse, we have a studio especially set aside for you, so you may work and concentrate without being disturbed. After all, an artist's thoughts are precious, and we must do what we can to give them an opportunity to grow as best they can. So am I. Just think, being able to paint the president's picture. That's a wonderful opportunity. Oh, you bet it is. And wasn't it nice that the president was so good to him? Oh, yes. I'm anxious to see that picture when it's painted. Well, maybe we'll see it next week. But now look underneath, Fix Adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes. And you remember, there's a theater where Rusty lives. Yes, and a string of pearls were stolen by one of the actors. And a man named Shorty dressed himself up to look like Rusty, and he stole the pearls. And a detective was called in on the case, and he's gone to the Milestone Farm to ask Rusty some questions. But Rusty didn't do it because Rusty wasn't near the theater at the time. I wonder who the detective believed Rusty's story. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Mr. Miles, the detective, and Rusty are gathered around Mr. Miles' desk. After hearing the detective's story, Mr. Miles says, now look here, Detective Baker. It's utterly absurd to think that Rusty has anything to do with the theft of those pearls. Now, Mr. Miles, I'm just a policeman with a job to do. And two witnesses are the boy outside Miss Castle's dressing room. Well, I don't see how they could have, sir. Mr. Fidgely sent me home with the horses along the four o'clock. Well, um, if you came right home, naturally it puts you in the clear. If you weren't in the theater, you surely couldn't have taken the pearls. Well, of course he's in the clear, Detective Baker. Well, I guess that settles that. Last picture top row, the detective nods. Yes, yes, of course. Of course, Mr. Miles, all we need from Rusty is some evidence that he really did come right here with the horse. Well, that should be easy enough. Tell him, Rusty. Well, sir, I really didn't come right back. First picture bottom row, Rusty goes on. You see, sir, I met a man with a trailer and he was stuck in a mud hole and I rigged up a rope harness for dawn and I helped pull him out. Hmm, very interesting. And then you came back here, huh? Who was here when you got back? Well, gee whiz, Mr. Baker. It was Jimmy's day often, and Tex went to a movie with Mr. Miles and Patty. Nobody was here. Oh, I see. Well, that's all for now. You run along to your chores, but don't leave the place. For a good heavens man, certainly you don't actually suspect that boy of Jewel robbery. He's had his chance, Mr. Miles. Two men saw him at the scene and there's nobody to back up his alibi. Some time later, last picture, he was talking with Tweety Castle, the girl whose pearls were stolen, and with her mother. An electrician in the stage and say they saw the boy outside your daughter's dressing room. Now, the boy claims he was not in the theater, but he can't prove it. However, I can't believe that he did... I don't believe he's guilty either. Nonsense, Tweety. Nonsense. The boy's probably a little hoodlum. I insist that you arrest him immediately. She wants to arrest you. Arrest him. It is a shame. She's not even going to give the detective time to look further into the case and do more investigating. I wonder who arrest you find anywhere of really proving to that detective that he wasn't at the theater when the pearls were stolen. Well, let's hope we'll find out more about that next week. But now that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all you boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, Miss Tweety. Okay, that's the date. And the date with all you boys and girls. And Miss Honey, next week, when I read pot the comic weekly. Oh, I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man.