 When I understand, okay, you're acting in a racist way not because you're just like some bad person or racist, but because you feel betrayed by the system and you want to blame somebody and you're being offered this person to blame or this group of people to blame. And I understand now where it's coming from. And maybe I understand the culture you grew up in and I understand what hurts you. And so maybe I can meet these conditions. In the moment, when you're really asking what is it like to be you, then you will find access to tremendous creativity. And the other person will pick up on that, will pick up on that you're not trying to just dominate and defeat them, but that you care about them, that you're asking that question and then your guard relaxes and a connection can form.