 Okay, welcome everyone. Welcome. And let us know that you can hear, can you hear us all real good? No, that's good. It's pretty good acoustics here. I think we'll take a break. Tony, do we have an idea when we want to break during this time? Ah, what? 315? 315, I think. Yeah, that feels pretty good. 3 or 315. Just let us know if we get to that point and you need to use a restroom or something. Yeah, I'm going to keep coffee coming here for those of you who might want to cup a coffee. I always need a circle of milk. It's nap time for me. Yeah. Well, this afternoon I think is going to be very practical because the sermon that they opened up with this idea of undoing the self-concept. And that's a pretty advanced aspect of A Course in Miracles. That's why it doesn't really come out so clearly until chapter 31 out of 31. So you know that it takes a lot of preparation. And there's actually parts of A Course in Miracles where Jesus said that you need careful preparation because parts of the workbook will make a direct approach to God. And if you're not prepared for those direct approaches to God, then he says they will appear more traumatic than beatific. So that's the difference between preparing, studying the Course, practicing the Course, transferring the training so that when you get to the workbook and you get into those later parts of the workbook where there's a direct approach to God that you are ready for the beatific experience of yielding into that experience instead of the terror of, oh my God, my whole world's going to be wiped away. You can see that's the difference between the trauma of the ego and its reaction to the direct approach to God and the beatific glory of, oh, my mind is ready to wake up and I'm ready to yield into that light. And I'm not afraid of the light anymore. I'm going to welcome the light. So that's, I would say, the best impetus, the best sense of urgency of actually practicing the Course and actually transferring the training to prepare your mind for a direct approach, which is what the experience is about. Jesus tells us a universal theology is impossible, but a universal experience is really inevitable. That's where this is all heading. So some of you know from my life that for me early on it wasn't enough just to study the Course. I had to bring it in. I had to reach into an experience of deep prayer because I think even though I was raised as a Christian, I still didn't know what prayer was. I think a lot of times for many Christians prayer is just more asking, it's more supplication. God will you do this for me? God will you do this for me? And it's very common in Western prayer, but some of you who have done Eastern meditation and opened the Eastern ways, it's more of a receptivity and stillness of opening to listen, to hear, to be informed, to be inspired, to be taken deeper. And it's not to say that there's anything wrong with the supplication in the sense that in the song of prayer Jesus says you can't pray beyond your own level of awareness. So if you are praying as a person in need, you can't help but ask for help with certain things because that's how you perceive yourself. So there's nothing wrong with any way of praying. It's just that as you go deeper up the ladder, higher the ladder, then the more you start to approach more of receptivity of just asking to be shown or asking for experiences, even things like asking for patience or asking for tolerance is a step above the supplication of can you pay my bills for me? Can you, you know, the supplication that most of us are used to of asking God for? Can you give me favor? I'm dating this person. Can you give me a little favor, God? Those are the typical supplication prayers. So Lisa has joined me today. She's come all the way from Utah. And Lisa coming along also brings a lot of experiences in this dismantling that I mentioned earlier in the sermon about like the I Heart Huckabees, dismantling of everything that you believe you are. And Lisa has gone through a lot of dismantling experiences, gone through a lot of darkness arising, fear and doubt and therefore is capable of witnessing and using a lot of the experiences that she went through as a way of witnessing and sharing with all of you that it may help you all the more because as we're undoing the ego it helps to have examples, it helps to have actual demonstrations. Even in 12-step programs that's why people go for support. They want to hear how it was, what happened and how it is now. They need to hear those witnesses. People are much more linked in to just listening to somebody directly expressing from their experience, not a bunch of theories, not a bunch of formulas, not a bunch of hypotheticals, but actually what is it about your experience that has changed and how can it benefit me? That's what people want to know. So there's lots of parallels. And in one sense that's the way that Lisa and I have been used a number of times on our travels is we may talk about what the Course is asking of us but then we also will talk about what our actual experiences were in stepping through it because of the value of that. Maybe you want to just share and introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Lisa and I feel really grateful to be here and just to be able to talk about just my journey and my relationship with the Course and Miracles, my relationship with the Holy Spirit and also my relationship with David in that, how he kind of showed up on my journey. But yeah, when I got the Course in Miracles it was about 20 years ago and it was part of, yeah, I was in a real, real dark place. I was very depressed for most of my life. 35 years I would say chronically depressed. Just was trying to go to therapist and psychologist. I was trying everything in the world, money, success, relationships, drugs, alcohol, anything that I could do to get happy. And yeah, the Course in Miracles came to me, actually the first time I heard the Course in Miracles was through Mary Ann Williamson on Oprah back in like 1996. And yeah, it was the first time I actually heard anyone talk about God in a way that was loving and non-judgmental and it was like some kind of spark that I started to listen to see God in a whole new way. Totally different than I had perceived him before because I was actually raised like in Lancaster County where the Amish are and Mennonites and very conservative Christians. So my path was really, yeah, I was pretty wild and so I was considered like one of those worthless sinners that was going to hell for sure. And so God was never an option for me. So when the Course came along, it was a whole new way for me to really experience God or experience that I could have a relationship with. So actually the Course didn't actually take hold until I had this experience where I was very suicidal and I had a light experience at that time and during this light experience, I actually went into some kind of, yeah, these words started coming out of this light and they said, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, you must truly believe, you must truly believe. And at that time, of course, Miracles was in my house but I couldn't read it. But this experience for me when I had this light experience was so profound because I knew at that moment I was so desperate to get out of this hell because I had a lot of traumatic experiences up until that time. But I knew for a fact at that point that I did, there was the only thing that was left for me to believe in was God. There was nothing actually left for me to believe in in this world. And so I, yeah, I actually picked up the Course Miracles and it was like I opened it up and it was like birds just started tweeting. Like it was like, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. Truly, it was like, after this mystical experience it was like I just started reading it and I actually shut out my whole world that I had been living before that time. You were talking about when it was like I died to myself. I actually did die that night I felt. I totally died and I realized that I needed to do something completely different in my life. And so it seemed traumatic actually at that point. And so I actually opened up the Course in Miracles and I completely devoted my life at that time to that. And actually it's really humbling because now I can simply tell you I didn't realize how much that, how far Jesus was calling me to be devoted. Truly. You know. So Course in Miracles became like my life. It was like Jesus just started talking to me through Course in Miracles every single day telling me what to do. And really developing, for me it was more about the joy. I wanted joy and I wanted to be happy. And also laughter. That Jesus said that heaven is remembered by happy laughter and he kind of sold me at that. I don't know. So it's been quite a journey. That was like 20 years ago. And yeah, just, I don't know where I want to go with that. But yeah, just a very, very deep, deep journey developing this relationship with the Holy Spirit. Because what I actually saw was my mind when I got the Course no one ever told me to look at my thoughts. No one ever said pay attention to what you're thinking. When I really, really started to look at my mind at that time I saw that my mind was possessed with guilt and shame and unworthiness and I was in prison. Actually I was so depressed at that time I couldn't even go outside with my house. I was one of those people that you see when you drive by their house where the yard is all grown up and the trash is all outside. That was who I was. I couldn't get out of my house. I had so much shame and so much guilt. And I was in a prison. And so when I started studying the Course he said that it was my thoughts alone that were causing me this pain. And that, you know, that Jesus started working with me with developing this relationship with the Holy Spirit. And so, you know, and paying attention to the way that I felt became like a way that I started letting go of logic and started really, really nurturing that intuitive feeling of paying attention to how I felt. And so it was this developing really the relationship with the Holy Spirit. It started out just, you know, very, very pure. I mean, I actually, I didn't even know anything about mind training and that's one of the things that I have to say. Just the unbelievable power of mind training is this, our mind is very, very, very, very powerful and that, you know, an untrained mind can accomplish nothing. And so part of this journey was really, really starting to pay attention. You know, it's beyond even mindfulness. It's about, you know, the Holy Spirit. And for me, you know, I knew that whatever I was reading in this course of miracles was the most important thing that I had ever read in my whole life. I just felt like this I needed to really pay attention to. And yeah, and so I needed to really, really focus. And so what I started doing in my journey, and I share this a lot with people, but I started, well, and I didn't know anything about the Bible. I didn't know anything about Jesus or anything, but a friend of mine started showing up at that time and she was a Christian and I was telling her some of the things I was reading in the course and she would say, oh my, this is exactly what Jesus is saying in the Bible. This is the deepest teachings of what Jesus was saying. And so being her kind of, she was kind of reflecting to me that whatever I was reading was coming from Jesus. So one of the things that I started to do in the very, very beginning was I actually started using a mustard seed. I would have, you know, the faith of a mustard seed. So I actually used to put this mustard seed on my tongue. So this mustard seed became my relationship with the Holy Spirit. I used to have this mustard seed because it was, if I had the faith of a mustard seed, you know, and that I could remember, I needed to remember and to pay attention to what I was thinking and what I was doing because my mind was so entrained and so I would say possessed, you know, by the ego at that time. And so it was this development of really, really getting focused. And I love what Jesus said because he said that the Holy Spirit is always present. It's always here, present right now. He's never not with us. He's always here. And that I needed to remember. All I needed to do was remember that I had help and support. And so this mustard seed became my lifeline, you know, with the Holy Spirit to ask and to start, you know, unwinding my mind back to God, actually, removing the blocks, the awareness of love's presence in my own mind. And so it was, yeah, it seems like it's, I'm right here right now, but it's the most amazing journey and at that very beginning time, you know, Jesus was having me go through all kinds of undoing, really, really looking at my attack thoughts and seeing how I was living in a dream. I couldn't believe that I was living in a dream and actually it was a nightmare. Because up until that point there were a lot of things that seemed to have happened in my journey. And yeah, one of them was a lot of traumatic stuff. I had a sister who had been murdered and raped and she had been missing for eight years. And it kind of broke up. My whole family completely destroyed everyone. The whole family unit was kind of destroyed the time. And I felt very, very alone and very, very, you know, I was a victim of the world, for sure. And I was having victim experiences over and over again and feeling very separate and alone. And I couldn't believe that there was a possibility, actually, that I had been dreaming. Really, like that there was a possibility that this really didn't actually occur. Like, you know, it was actually a profound, something very profound to me that I was just, you know, reclaim memories. These were just memories in my mind. And one thing was for sure, and I could see it in the presence, it wasn't happening anymore. It was not here. It was in the past. And that I had the power to forgive it. And that I had the power to see that I could undo and let go of my addiction. And that's what I saw. I had an addiction to a concept of being a victim. I was a victim. And I was having victim experiences after victim experiences after victim experiences. And all I did was talk about my victim experiences. You know, that's all I did. And so I solidified it all the time. I was a victim. But then I had the power. I couldn't believe it. It was a miracle. I thought, oh my God, that I had the power to, and Jesus was saying, you are the Holy Son of God. And I am well pleased. And that you are addicted to this experience, actually of weakness and littleness. And, you know, you're addicted to that. To being separate. And then he said, I'm going to open your mind, basically, if you would give me your mind. But I'm going to open your mind to another experience. Another experience that's of innocence. And of perfection. And holiness. If I could just pay attention and listen. And open my mind to something completely different. To another experience. To see that there was something more valuable. That, you know, I was seeing what was valueless and valuable. Actually. And seeing how I was attracted to that. I was attracted to being that. And how really that's how humbling this journey is. We're addicted to that. Playing weak and frail. And small. And separate. And so, I saw that I had some work to do. I had a lot of work to do. I had to really, really start paying attention to see how I was doing this to myself. And then that was powerful. I couldn't believe that. That I was responsible for my happiness. And when I found that I was responsible. And I was not a victim of the world. That was really empowering for me. I thought, I'm going to make this decision. I'm going to really pay attention. That it's possible that I could be happy all the time. And that I could have no worries. And that it was possible that I could develop this relationship with God, which was really developing my relationship with my innocence at that time. Is really what it was all about. To really open up. To really not just talk about that. Words are good. Like Jesus even says in the Course, these are really good ideas. Unless you accept them. They're just fantasies. They're just fantasies. You just talk about them. But this is really about opening our mind up. In the mind training to see how we're constantly denying that. Constantly denying that. So anyhow, it started out this process of me just developing this relationship with God and the Holy Spirit. And one of the things that Jesus was calling me to do was because I was a nurse at the time. And I actually was working as a nurse. And when Jesus said that I was a healer, when I read that in the Course that I was a healer, I thought, I am a healer, but I'm not a healer of the body. I never really thought that I actually was accomplishing any healing. But he was going to take me on another journey. I was not healing myself. You know, a physician healed myself. And so through the course of this journey, I ended up starting my own company. It was called Abundant Nursing. And when I met David, I was living in Mount Choi, the company was in Mount Choi. And so he was like, the Spirit was sending me all these symbols. Just developing this relationship with the Holy Spirit. Yeah, and so I ended up owning a company and it became very, very successful. And I was like the president of that company. And yeah, and the whole part of that whole business was about me developing this relationship with the Holy Spirit. It wasn't about the business. I always said it was like a fake business. And it was my temple. Where I was really, really, really using it as this opportunity to look at all of my own judgments in my own mind. To really, really see how much judgment I had in my own mind. And there were tons of it. So part of this company was a staffing company. And I had the joy of interviewing like 10 nurses a day. Hiring nurses was part of the whole thing. And so each one of them became my savior. My brother became my savior as this business was all happening. Like I was really, I had my mustard seed on my tongue. And I was bringing them in and just using it all as this backdrop just to heal my mind. And yeah, and actually what ended up happening was the business became very successful. And I ended up actually, I didn't have to work anymore. Actually, which was amazing to me. Because I was a single mom for that. And I've been struggling for years. But I ended up I didn't have to work. But that just actually gave me more time to study. I was in love with the study and the practice. And to see the power of my mind and seeing that I was starting to heal. You know, heal. Like truly, truly heal. But yeah, until I met David. Then the healing really started is what I feel. I think it's part of what Helen first heard from Jesus was it was called a celestial speedup. People were being called from all over to take their part in a celestial speedup. So I think what we'll be talking about this afternoon and using parables from Lisa's life from the parable of David, parable of Lisa is we're going to present a picture and a witness of really the full extent of where this course is leading. Because it's tempting to start reading this book and feel your heart opening up to feel uplifted and everything. But the temptation of this world is to try to bring the light into the darkness. To try to have a better life. To use the course to have a better life. And what I mean by a better life is a better linear life. I mean, denying that life is heaven. Life is eternal. Life is being with God. That's what life is. In fact, I read that passage that Lisa read this morning during the sermon and this passage that I gave that where everyone who comes is trying to solve the riddle of their life. And we think of the world as being born and living and dying and Jesus calls that a riddle. Everything we consider so important in this world that's part of the life of the body. Jesus says, no, the body is the hero of the dream. You know, every dream has its central figure as the hero and the hero seems to be born and struggle and strive and die. And actually that's the riddle. So the mind, when it falls asleep and forgets heaven, when it forgets nirvana, it's caught up in a riddle of a world. It's a hypothetical world, actually, as if the separation had occurred. So this is an entire hypothetical as if construct. And it's a dream, but it's been forgotten that it's a dream. In fact, there's even one point of the course where pretty late in the text where Jesus says, awareness of dreaming is the function of God's teachers. You've heard of lucid dreaming. You're asked not to occasionally have maybe a lucid dream at night but actually to come to a conscious state of like, this is a dream. You could laugh at dragons and you could laugh at being fired from jobs and you could laugh even at sickness and death if you were aware that you were dreaming. But when you're not aware that you're dreaming, these projections become quite serious because to a mind that's asleep, these seem to be very extremely serious things. You know, going unconscious. Steve was telling me some of his story today after the service. You know, that seems to be a big deal going unconscious. So that's like a major deal when somebody goes unconscious, but it was very much a part of the parable of Steve and the healing. So what we're going to present is a context for me of having gone like maybe between three to five years of deep immersion in the course and going into, oh my God, I can see what this is really calling me to. This is calling me to laying aside all concepts, all self-concepts. And that part that I mentioned that I felt was so important, you will make many concepts of the self as learning goes along. That's just that the Holy Spirit is, you know, the mind couldn't handle just going into abstraction and going directly into light. It would be too terrifying. It would seem like the ultimate loss. And Jesus says, don't be afraid. You won't be hurled into reality. He says, we are going to get a series of concepts that will seem like each one, there's a bit of loosening in the mind. There's a bit more lightness. There's a bit more not taking things so seriously. There's still concepts. You still will be using terms of time and space. You still will have things that you seem to still be going through as a person. There's still personal concepts, but they're also very helpful. Each one is going to be a little bit lighter and a little looser. And they're all taking you up towards the atonement, towards that place of forgiveness, which is a very high, high, high state of mind. It's the highest goal that we can go for in this awakening that has anything to do with perception, accepting the atonement, the happy dream, the healed world, the forgiven world, true perception. Those are all different synonyms for where this is going. So, the main principle that's underneath what we're going to talk about today is what Jesus repeats over and over and over and over and across the miracles that you cannot bring the truth into the illusion. To heal, you must bring the illusion to the truth. And what does that mean? You must bring the illusions in your mind, like Roxy talked about the beliefs. You have to bring the beliefs, every single belief that you hold to learn this course requires willingness to question everything that you believe. Not one can be hidden or it will obscure your learning. The main thing to always remember is I will only wake up to heaven, to nirvana, to oneness through bringing illusions to the truth. And the temptation is to spiritualize matter. The temptation is to even bring high-sounding lofty words and think that you're going to convince your neighbor, convince your mother or father, your children, people around you about these lofty words. This is not about trying to convince anyone. In fact, if you notice yourself feeling like an insistence to convince somebody, the question would be, who are you convincing? Who are you trying to convince? That would be just another example of trying to bring the truth into the illusion. So, our parables are going to be used by the Holy Spirit as a way of showing the direction of when you keep bringing the illusion to the truth, when you keep offering these beliefs up, you will start to experience lots of miracles, not just a miracle here or there, but as you continue to bring the illusions to truth, you will be flooded, your mind, your consciousness will be flooded with miracles. You will become habitually miracle-minded. And then, you will have lots of, we'll say, synchronicities, lots of, wow, that's amazing, like answers to your prayers, but just appear instantly and you have such a sense of humbleness and a sense of respect because they're so convincing when they just start showing up. Now, just to start it off too, I can give some examples. I'm going to use a couple, we're here in San Francisco and we go back into American history. Let's use some presidents, for example. Abraham Lincoln is a very interesting example as a president. Abraham Lincoln said, a mind changed against its will is of the same opinion still. A mind changed against its will. Jesus is asking us to change our mind and here's the president that was responsible for freeing the slaves. We were talking about it's Harvey Milk's birthday today and the things in San Francisco history, but let's just look at Abraham Lincoln for a minute. A very sincere, tall man wore our top hats with a big beard but he was from Illinois and here's an example of someone who over the course of his presidency was faced with civil war, was faced with slavery, was faced with a lot of huge, huge issues of the time and yet the Holy Spirit was just in the mind saying, hang with me here, Abraham. Interesting name, Abraham. Hang with me, Abraham, because we're going to go through a transformation and I think of all the presidents I think of, when I think of prayer, Abraham Lincoln did a lot of praying. Imagine having a self-concept as a president of the United States and resorting to prayer. You don't find that. If you go back through the decades, you won't find that very often. A president talking about all the prayer, all the prayer and time. I'm going to throw another president out the country of mind, FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Imagine your self-concept as the president of the United States. You can't walk. You can't even walk in human form. And an event occurs called Pearl Harbor where suddenly you're playing with your stamp collection and you're doing what you like to do as a president. You make these heavy decisions, but he's doing his stamp meditation one day and it's like, Mr. President, Pearl Harbor, our Pacific fleet has been hit. What do you mean hit? Well, it's basically all been sunk. Basically, we've got sailors trapped in capsized ships and suffocating to death and, you know, that puts a pause in your stamp collecting meditation when you're there and this was just an event. Again, an event in time and space, but as far as history goes, there's some forgiveness opportunities because Eleanor Roosevelt was a very wonderful wife. She was very deep, very spiritual, very supportive in everything. Really, I think that time it took her being there with him to help him loosen that self-concept because he ended up, as the United States went into World War II, and he ended up having to have braces built and learn to be able just to stand and walk with great struggle just to represent a symbol of strength. He went through an enormous thing. Now, this is a course in mind training and so we are asked, as Lisa was saying, that we can only be hurt by our thoughts but we have to think with a new thought system to be free. We have to so thoroughly release and escape this old thought system of victimization, of attack, of suffering, of betrayal, of abandonment. We have to so thoroughly be purified, be free of this in order to come to the Atonement or the real world. In the parable of David, it seemed to be a very slowly evolving curriculum that started to get activated like in around 1985 and there was a lot of time alone, a lot of prayer, meditations, and then eventually studying the course and going on to extreme, you might say, radical, guidance from Jesus in order to loosen my mind from the self-concept of being shy, of being just another person in the world trying to pay off debts, you know, to pay through life, dealing with the relationship issues, dealing with health issues, dealing with maybe not clinical depression but a sense of like low-grade depression of just the depression of the existential depression of the human race, of being a human being trying to make it through. You know, that was true. But with my slow progression, it was more a slow incremental study over many, many years and even began before 1985 and with Lisa's examples which are going to kind of be more rock your world examples. It would be more like with a lot of Lisa's examples, it's as if she decided to have like seven lifetimes played out in one. And the only reason I mention that is for all of us is that this will be extreme teaching examples. There have been times as I was going very slowly, steadily like the turtle in the hair, I was going through my slow, steady incremental miracles. Help. What? Okay. I was going through step by step. What happened by the time I met Lisa was that I had gone through such a transformation of consciousness of releasing beliefs and self-concepts. I had transcended the idea of working for a living, of having a career, of all kinds of things that seem to be very basic kind of things that human beings believe in to survive. I had transcended all of that by the time I met Lisa to the point where I was like Johnny Appleseed, I'm out on the road, I'm traveling, I'm speaking, I'm living in divine providence, I'm living on donations, very, very simple, very spontaneous and then I did, I was very transparent, I love how Tony's so transparent with everything with the church, put it all out. I put my cell phone on the internet and Lisa called it. And so I'm out traveling, I think between some of my gatherings somewhere and the phone rings and I answer the phone, I say hello. It wasn't, hi, how are you? It didn't announce a name, it didn't have any kind of greeting or whatever. All it had was, I said hello, and I heard I want joy. That's all it said at the other end. See how direct that is? That's why she compressed seven lifetimes into one because two of them are messing around. I want joy, she says, I said good, I can join you completely in that. And then of course the Holy Spirit initiates for me. I said oh, I'm actually coming up to where you live and near Earthburg. But very next week. And she's like oh, I want joy. And then I said actually if you want we could have dinner before the gathering. No, no, no. I want joy but it's not going to be a treat. You know I never did anything like this for really. I was studying the course by myself. I went to conference and I actually traveled a little bit with Mary Anne before him but I was very, I was closed off in my own little world. And so when I, it was a miracle that I found him but it was funny, I couldn't believe he says call me any time, here's my number. Put yourself a number on the internet. This was the early days of the internet. And then when I said, you know, and then he said how about we have dinner before the gathering. And I said who do you think did it? You know, everyone's this guy. She calls without announcing her name and then I say let's have dinner. I said I don't think so. I don't think so. I'll see you at the gatherings. Okay, so thus began, so thus began a very open connection but see I had already transcended, you might say I had learning of the self-concept had shifted so much for me that I was more kind of a mix between like Peace Pilgrim and St. Francis. That was kind of my blend of self-concept at the time. And she was the CEO of a nursing staffing company. And so, you know, the CEO self-concept, you think you got some control, you know, people work for you and you pay the bills and you leave when you want to leave and do what you want to do with the CEO of the company. But it was worse than that. She actually was, she was a CEO who had so many manifesting, you know, talk about the secret and you can manifest use the power of your mind. Before the secret, actually. Before the secret, she was not only a CEO, she not only manifested going from pregnant and barefoot and being a waitress and a diner to manifesting being the CEO of a very large staffing company that had written God into the bylaws and it was exploding so fast that it grew with an enormous rate. So she had manifested from being pregnant and barefoot and on food stamps, she had manifested with the power of her mind CEO of a very successful company. And then, but she had also a girlfriend who was working with her and the girlfriend watched her as she got more into the course of her thing and the manifesting manifests things left and right. Her house went from a dump with like grass that was two feet high and it was falling, gutters falling, you know, just a terrible state too. It was all remodeled and it looked like a really nice house now and then she had a God room, a whole room dedicated when I went in there eventually all these objects that were just symbols of God loves you. So she had manifested that, she had manifested but she had actually gone a little bit over to the point that her and her friend actually believed they were specially chosen with a special gift from God to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. It had gone beyond just being a successful CEO and company but actually when I met her she believed that her and her girlfriend believed she had a special power and those two would bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. Now I use that as an example because what does the Course teach? You can't bring the truth into the illusion. Even when we use that kingdom of heaven on earth thing we gotta really see that it's a change in perception where heaven and earth are not existing as separate states is what the Course says but see how careful, how tricky that is. So when I came in it kind of like took the wind out of all that the balloon was just puffing bigger and bigger and bigger and then suddenly I come and meet her and she says I really think we're going to bring the kingdom of heaven and earth. I said no, it's not going to happen. And at that point and he actually told me the word I never actually heard it before because the secret wasn't out or anything and he said oh this is manifesting or someone would have manifested I never even heard of that. She was manifesting without knowing what a word was. I didn't even know that I was doing that. Well whatever was happening was just happening but it was like yeah I would just pray and act like I received kind of thing. Yeah, so I did I actually, people were like coming around me because they saw this big transformation and it was, I'd say it's called this course of miracle book that I'm reading. They're like, and so people are grabbing the course of miracles all around me. Oh yay. Yeah, well. And again, we tell these parables because in this world I mean you look how Tony's church has grown over the decades since what we said 85, 87, it's been a beautiful story of how it's grown, it's continued the conferences and so on and so forth. What Lisa was doing is she wrote God into the bylaws and the more that her business grew and grew and grew and grew with God in the bylaws and so on and so forth that she actually had nurses that were coming there and when they would have downtime she would actually have them reading the course in a business during downtime and watching videos, course of miracles videos so there was a lot the spirit was using in a very, very helpful way but what I'm saying is it wasn't anything special that her business was growing because remember it's a dream and there's nothing valuable in this dream at all in the Alderman sense only symbols that help strengthen your awareness of the presence of God's love and we know that's what happens in our life with relationships, with jobs and everything they can come and then they can go and they're gone so she actually had that point where she was the Holy Spirit was using it in such a devoted way and it seemed like a special gift and yet at that point she couldn't really see a lot of things there was like these huge pockets of darkness and guilt and shame that were still out of awareness because things were going pretty good and these were like real dark pockets of shame and they involved your children and they involved that belief that you could actually make something happen and make a difference in the world and make the world a better place like Michael Jackson's song Healed the World make it a better place all that was covering up a lot of darkness and so I think that the more that we came together and we started relating and the more we would go on travel together and the more we had that close intimate time to talk everything through in a very careful way I know Tony you guys like the Socratic method like let's let's let everybody we want to hear from everybody let's really have input well we had plenty of time to let all the things come up and yet as great as all that seemed to be I would say to her at times I said you know there's going to come a time when you're going to sell this and you're going to just let it all go and you I think at the time what was your words are you crazy all she could see was how great everything was going are you kidding the best thing that ever happened I didn't have to work and this money was coming in and she said you're going to sell this thing this is all going to disappear and I'm like that's impossible there was so much to come that she could see just imagine yourself for example we're talking about exchanging self-concepts imagine that Lisa had gone through prostitution being a prostitute she'd gone through being a mother who abandoned her children she'd gone through obesity she'd gone through being on drugs she'd gone through clinical depression oh you better believe it's an improvement of the self-concept to be the CEO of a company with God she was cruising along and it seemed like a 360 turnaround from barefoot and pregnant and food stamps and living in a hotel room I had to be in a hotel room walk six miles to the bar to work while I was pregnant and yeah it was like this intent all alone just like living in this hotel room not even knowing where even where I was going to have a place for the baby and you some of you remember the Richard Gere movie Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts this guy walks into her diner she works at a diner and he's a millionaire and he marries her she's you talk about Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts she's like pregnant she's a waitress at a restaurant living in some kind of dive well right when I was pregnant with my daughter I lived in a hotel but once I had my daughter I lived in this rat hole somewhere but this guy showed up so marries the millionaire and some of you have heard like when people who win the lottery their form changes when they win the lottery but the same old patterns are there marries the millionaire and then still the addictions continue the struggles around obesity around depression you know a lot of that marrying a millionaire people would go well hit the jackpot big time marrying a millionaire in that condition that's a major self-concept leap and yet those underlying things addictions were still there and that's where it got more extreme because when I met her she was telling me that story where she would like her husband would buy her a diamond ring and would slip the diamond ring onto her finger and she was in such a state that she would just keep holding it out there he would have to buy two diamond rings and slip a double on there to get a rise out of her one wasn't enough you see there was some things going on under the surface there going from poverty into great wealth that didn't change the underlying content there was still a lot there it became more and more as we kept going deeper and deeper and deeper in this that I was more like not only peace pilgrim and St. Francis wound together but I started I was channeling Jesus leave all behind leave your children behind sell all that you have and give to the poor join with me and come into the kingdom of heaven so it was really more Jesus as well coming in as well as the traveling peace pilgrim and St. Francis it was coming in and for Lisa who had had all these experiences rolled into one she was just willing to say I'm not going to hang and go with this but there were many many difficult challenges even though she was the CEO of a company she still had deep unworthiness that was underneath even though she was the CEO that one of the people that worked for her actually was a dev who came a dev bought you was it a a bed she went into Lisa's house said we're going to get you into a decent bed she could hardly even accept raises there's still an unworthiness even though every little step was happening with the company she still was feeling unworthy wasn't a dev that watched your funny her friend Bonnie watched your feet like watching the feet there was all this deep unworthiness just because the form had changed dramatically I'm very very unworthy I feel like that's what Jesus really was doing with that business for me it wasn't about the money it was just healing a lot of deep stuff for me I was actually afraid of money when I first got the company so I kind of blocked it out and I gave the responsibility to watching the money to someone else because I had such a bad history with money so I said I'm not even going to look at the money at all like I blocked it out I thought I'm not supposed to go there because of my past with money and at one point Deb came to me and she said listen we're making a lot of money here and then the account called and said we're going to have to raise your pay we're going to actually have to raise it really really high because it's not looking good on the books and yeah and so I didn't want to go for me actually because I wasn't doing anything I didn't feel like I was doing anything I was the less I ever worked in my life and all of a sudden I was making all this money and the account said we're going to have to do this legally and I just really had a huge breakdown just really deep breakdown because of why is this happening why is this happening to me and at the time when I was having this big breakdown she actually said I have to do something right now and she actually got a bucket and she said I want to wash your feet so I want to just wash your feet and like wash this whatever was going on for me because I just really was having a hard time accepting this because I was actually giving my money away then at one point you remember that the thing was a lot of times when you don't have money and then you come into money money in this world we call it philanthropy philanthropy has a real good image in this world even though if you go to the characteristics of the teacher of God Jesus will say the true giving and giving as the world knows giving are not the same thing that he goes into when you divide its ownership and you give the miracle away it's a blessing for the giver and the receiver so we think of Carnegie's and Bill Gates and these different philanthropists as givers Jesus Christ would say those are not examples of giving because true giving is the direct opposite actually the direct opposite of what giving is in the world so what she was doing when I first met her was she would she would give wads of money people say why didn't I know you Lisa at these days why wasn't I a part of your dream that day she would give wads of money away particularly at holidays like Christmas you'd get a wad children would get wads friends would get wads friends of children wads of money except this went on year after year after year and when she would not give the wads they would go where's my money they'd become addicted to receiving money the best place to go is be around Lisa at Christmas because these wads would come out so when she started talking with me and I would hear what she was doing I was saying wow you're really giving out of guilt you've got a lot of guilt and unworthiness and before you didn't have the money but now with all this extra money out of guilt and it's the motive by which you give this the most important thing because that's where your heart is and if you can't tell the difference if you think people around you are going you are such a generous person and you feel terrible you feel you're trying to give it away to break out of this sense of unworthiness and it's not working so basically what we had was a situation where she was giving money out of guilt and also we were mentioning at the dinner we had last night with Kelly and Tony she was in this position where the children the teenagers were in charge of the house they were the ones that had all the power when I first met her the teenagers ran the house Lisa went to work and she earned the money and she came home she picked up all the clothes she cooked all the meals she did all the cleaning it was the super mom syndrome and what was under super mom guilt more guilt she was giving money away out of guilt she was picking up teenagers clothes cooking all the meals and this and this and I said well this is where we need a mind overhaul this is where we have to get in there and we have to turn everything around like Byron Katie says it was a mess but it had improved so greatly remember all these lifetimes it improved so greatly from what it was but it still had all this darkness that was underneath it that was driving it and that was good these are great extreme teaching examples just like the crucifixion was an extreme teaching example these are extreme examples about how you have to do the purification from the inside the money the better appearances all this stuff there must be a gloss over a mind that is still hurting and still guilty but to me this is why we're sharing these examples is because a lot of times it's very easy to get lured by the symbols of this world and the passage that was in the sermon and the reading this morning was seek not yourself in symbols no matter how the symbols go even if there's witnesses around you that are going you're doing very good you're growing you're expanding very good you've done very well you can't really put your faith and trust even in those symbols there was a point too with Lisa as she would go on travels with me and we would go deeper and deeper that I said you know you will let all of this go and imagine how important in her life that was just almost like a shock that this too will pass and it actually came to the point where this man came into Lisa's life and he was his specialty was selling companies and didn't your company go on the nasdaq her company grew so big that was on the nasdaq stock exchange and then this man this angel appeared and he said I can sell that company for you and that was another trip of us going together to meet with him because he was really good at what he does and basically how long did it take to sell your company two days is that the Holy Spirit or what two days to sell a company that's on nasdaq in fact again that was just another little incremental step along the journey two days selling that company but she was also in denial because her employees read about the sale, guess where in the newspaper Business Monday Business Monday newspaper when we say if you give your life over to the Holy Spirit the Holy Spirit will work quickly quickly means quickly if you are willing to learn this course you might remember there's a part in the Course in Miracle that says this course will be believed entirely or not at all the Holy Spirit moves swiftly so in two days basically her employees were coming up to her and the thing was I was just kind of saying I was actually traveling with David at the time and I was just loving this depth and this experience of this really being able to communicate at this level and one of the gifts being around him it's like no private thoughts really being transparent I could just feel my mind expanding just really feeling like Jesus was calling me to be a miracle worker that I just love talking about well I couldn't stop talking about God I was doing that in my company all the time they were actually saying you need to go do this somewhere else so I became an interference in the company they're like listen we got work to do man and I was like and that's actually how I did meet David was because I went home and I was kind of like is this all there is you know like I become successful and then I was like God is this the plan for my life that I would just like I had it all again like informed but you know I could feel that Jesus was calling me out of the world but it was like I was scared too I was terrified and then once I started when I did meet with David then I could feel this new experience that it wasn't about him it was about this type of communication it was tight you know we were sharing miracles and going out and I thought this is actually what I'm supposed to be doing you know and even though I was so terrified of it so I thought okay so I joined David and then he said you know you're gonna let go of this business and so I thought you know then this guy shows up and so I just thought I was just kind of teasing like not really serious oh we'll see if this business will sell like I didn't really think that it would you know because I was kind of very comfortable in my life you know I seem to have it all informed and so when I put the business up for sale and then it sold in two days I was like you are kidding me there's no way I'm gonna do this or I thought it wasn't gonna actually happen and that's why he's saying like cause I just didn't tell anybody David was the only one that knew and so I didn't tell anybody and I had and so I was like this isn't gonna fly actually I just kept thinking I was in denial I was in total denial and then they as a NASDAQ company they have to post it to their stockholders you know in the paper that they purchased this company and so there was Monday morning I didn't know that they were gonna do that you know marathon health care purchased abundant nursing and like there's this merger and so the phone just went nuts and everybody's calling and so I said oh listen I was just trying something out and I said I was not expecting that I said listen I don't know why I didn't have nothing signed so I was just facing it and I just ignored that and they said it's in the paper he sold the country the company right out from under us and it's in the paper but the thing about it is we're not even gonna dwell on this one because the thing about it is there was 1.2 in her journey where she had gone to I think got a reading where she was told in this lifetime you will be a healer a healer you see how different that is from that's another self-concept still but that's a very surrendered self-concept anybody who heals you know Jesus in the his first 50 miracle principles I think it's miracle principle number 23 you can heal the sick and raise the dead because you made sickness and death and can abolish them both Tony was sharing with us he read that 24 he was saying that's pretty good that's a pretty good direction to go in I don't know where this is going but that sounds pretty good so basically she did get a reading that she would be a healer but we're not talking about a healer as a nurse of attending to the body and all the vital signs and all the things that nurses do a lot of accountability and record keeping and documentation and drugs and so forth we're talking healer in the mind that was like almost a premonition of where her life was heading but even when you got the reading you were thinking that was still pretty far fetched Lisa was saying whoa I don't know about that that's like a healer you know that's pretty much but the thing is when Lisa sold her company all it was was just another step to move in the direction of the atonement because anybody here who's known if you start to have money and possessions what can that turn into a temptation a huge temptation if you end up having money money is very liquid you know how it is when it's sunk into businesses and houses and everything it's one thing but when it's cold cash you have again temptations because the ego is still in your mind going oh now you can try out all kinds of things you can buy things you can do things you never could before it's in the pamphlet psychotherapy pamphlet where Jesus comes out and actually says money is nothing it's not the money that's the temptation but as long as the ego is in your mind and Jesus says do not breathe life into your your fading ego don't breathe life into it that's where I think a whole other set of temptations arose to after the sale of the business it was like that was just another step a pretty radical but again it was like a whole other wave of things there was a lot more fear and darkness that came up even then so that's why I'm saying we're packing all these lifetimes into one because we're just getting going here there's a lot more that has come after this but these are like extreme examples that it's going against like the old ratio Alger stories like you know become your own boss go from poverty into abundance achieve control of your life and everything that's a pretty good story that's like the American dream story and that's not even the beginning because a lot of us have gone through those kind of scenarios and it's almost like pipe dreams it's like empty ghost of things where you go and you attain them and Jesus says there's one thing you will experience when you have achieved the ego's goals they have not satisfied you and the ego will shift its goals into something more okay you did that now try this oh good you did that now try this see it's very ingenious it's clever at keep shifting the goal bigger better more faster you know it's a very clever illusion that's trying to keep you from knowing who you are and it keeps shifting the goal even when you become dissatisfied it shifts the goal again and I think that was there was a lot of times in your life where the goal just shifted like now what but those became there was like even just more darkness that had to come up in really extreme ways going off to that island where you thought you were going to be killed there were like fantasies there were hidden fantasies that had yet to be played out and it turned into some really dark times because after the business sold because it sold in 30 days it was all over and it happened really really swift yeah it was just kind of tripping me out I was like just totally like what's going on and I remember going to the conference room where the attorneys were there and I'd go there and everything was signed and I wanted to leave and the attorney for the marathon healthcare says keys please keys to the office and I was like oh my god like it just like hit me like oh my word and then I had my staff back there because there was five people that worked in the office they were like you gotta come back here and tell us what's going on man because they were like all freaking out totally freaking out and I said well I want to go back to the office they said no you're finished there now you can't go back they said that's over now it's our company and you cannot go back what just happened here so I actually after that actually went into this massive fear terror you know and went into this total darkness and really just panicked because I really felt like God was calling me out of the world and I got like frozen in it you know just really kind of like I isolated I went back into darkness again and just like hit and yeah and I was trying to recreate maybe another business okay well maybe I'll start another business and every single thing I was taking the money then and trying to invest it because I was still afraid I was terrified almost like a prophecy the Course says as you move toward the light you will rush to darkness Jesus says the terror of the light is so strong the terror of purpose the terror of function rush uses the word rush to darkness and he says things like doubt will come and go and go to come again yet is the ending certain here came the point and I had gone through this myself over and over and over and over but had come through it over and over and over and over but still you know it's like Abraham Lincoln mind changed against his will is of the same opinion still the forms may shift in our life doesn't mean we're experiencing the healing that's underneath it means we're just keeping open to moving towards that so I think that was another time where there's been times where Lisa and I we would so join so deeply in mind and then there were times when she wouldn't want to see me I think he was a devil I did he's destroying my life and he needs to stay away from me and he would call me and say Lisa I love you where are you at I thought he could have just leave me alone thinking he was after my money you know why me I was from little Amish town, Pennsylvania why was I being chosen and just this horror that I was actually hugely projecting on to him you know where I was like it was just very like stay away from me you've ruined me the Lisa he was running we were almost like playing out a psychic version of Star Wars remember with Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader and everything like this we would join together we would have these deep joinings so much she would think I was Darth Vader and so it would arise and the thing what happened was there were times where I think she was very very concerned for her money I never really did ever see the money myself because the Holy Spirit would help her to loosen from her attachment to the money and the possessions and control and everything and I would be like wow this is amazing the Holy Spirit she could end up being like I call it a steward where you steward your money there's all kinds of examples of stewarding in the Bible where somebody lets their property their money whatever be used for the purposes of awakening I was thinking Lisa was going maybe she's going to turn out to be like a steward as part of the plan of awakening maybe some of her money now the ego was so determined to sabotage absolutely everything that she ended up blowing it all blowing it all she just blew it she just blew it I never really saw it she just blew it so afraid of me even coming close to it for God's plan that she just blew it she would end up didn't you buy property property by the ocean lost everything that I put it into I'd lose it double hundreds of thousands of dollars she just screwed it all she messed it up I was like wow this could be used for the plan of awakening for everybody and Tony and I know how those donations come in sometimes they trickle in sometimes they do hundreds of thousands of dollars just blow it all throw it away gambling throw it away throw it away this and this now we tell you this because it's just another chapter of the whole thing because then she would come through that she would come even through that and still like hey Lisa where are you I'm doing a gathering why don't you come and join me and when she would come and join me she would get back she would feel the joy of the miracle again we would be right in it like it had never gone but it would be like a push pull you will go to darkness you will go to light you will rush back to darkness so that's the way the relationship was but there was always these great joining and Hawaii came that came much later where I think Lisa was planning to what was it you were going to go off and she had a boyfriend and I said this doesn't sound good to me and she's thinking who is he to tell me who I'm just like with Helen Shocking I would just kind of let it come who is he to tell me who I'm going to be in relationship with and again there's nothing special there's nothing this and this but it just kind of turned in to a nightmare there was one time when you went to that island and you thought you were being chased and it was going to be murdered and killed through one of those fantasies this one went into an absolute nightmare paranoia fear desperation this was after quite a few years this was after years of our relationship she went spiraling down into that where instead of having all this company and all this money and everything remember she went from pregnant and bear fort to married a millionaire then that whole thing then the big company and then that whole thing was gone and then you spiraled down into fear and debt then she started spiraling and did that you see how the patterns are there you have to go off the surface of things you have to get down to the root of the fear and the desperation after all of that it was just that and yet the Holy Spirit was there all through that I remember one point we met at a restaurant or whatever and then there was again joining forget the desperation, forget this forget how dark it had got or whatever but there was something inside that was crying out and saying I want to heal that was a really deep call I really want to heal and so again the Holy Spirit again comes swooping in there Christ comes in there and the joining of that you went to the peace house for a while and this was like deep healing very deep it's so humbling in this journey it's very humbling because just the layers and layers and it is really like an onion it's not just like you're gonna some people have that experience but for me it was layer after layer of shame and guilt and unworthiness and hate self-hatred self-hatred that was so deep that was down underneath all of that and it was like I felt like the journey was just taking me seeing like you know in the money and into the darkness or whatever it was really just showing me what was really going on in my mind and it was that was when I was in Hawaii I feel like it was funny because I was in Hawaii and we lived right down the street from a volcano a live volcano a live volcano that was gushing lava and it was funny because all this all this deep dark stuff that was coming that you know like almost like these layers preparing me for the next step you know it's like nothing's gonna be thrust on you so I felt like I was just being you know I was ready to go to that you know actually the fear of God was what I felt that I was facing at that point like really honestly facing the fear of God you know where you just feel like you're completely completely helpless or something like yeah and I was very angry at God at that time that actually was a real crucial point for me because at that time I actually questioned and I didn't until that time that I actually after all the years of studying the course you know because I became so went through this major massive darkness after devoting like I devoted my life I devoted everything that I actually started not to believe in God anymore and I started not to even trust the course, not to trust you like very deeply actually and that was when reallessness came in you know because God was like okay now what do I do here in this situation really alone there's not even God which was really beautiful too actually and then after this dive again spinning $10,000, $20,000, $30,000, $40,000 in debt and going again into one of those dark spirals you know like Snoopy and the Red Baron where the plane goes into the death spiral and just starts spiraling and smoking and heading for the ground we've seen this many other times and there she goes again just going down after all of that down towards the crash it was like what happens was through the power of our joining the power of God and the power of our joining she she pulled out of the tailspin before the plane crashed and then we joined and joined and joined and joined on purpose and function like you need to come back to your function you have a very very important function that that's why you are here for that's what it's all for we joined it yet again on that and we joined in that function and then you went up she comes she comes spinning out out of the that and she goes to Mexico and she's working with all of these people, beloveds and she's building she's got my companion Jake P around her and she just starts to get more into function more into function deeper into function deeper so much so that there was a woman whose husband down in Mexico had thrown himself of course in miracles her husband had thrown himself off a building and committed suicide and I was out that they happened to be in Mexico but I was out and they come to the gate of the door it was on Easter and they come in and it's this one's for Lisa part of her Jesus is helping her soaring again in her healing function which is her whole point for coming here and basically the children two daughters and three daughters the mother and then a group of people that were with her and they come and the mother and the daughters come to Lisa and then all this healing pours through her with this man whose husband had just committed suicide in fact so much so that the mother immediately felt lifted up just being in the presence of Lisa I wasn't even there I was guided and I came back and it was so healing to hear the story about how they actually the spirits the state of mind was completely lifted up because the woman had been there to our center before and she knew the power and the love that was there but that was like an example so again here she goes again lifting herself up towards her calling towards the atonement towards her true purpose in life and so that continued and continued on to the point where it's like she'd been you've been in Mexico for so long at that point over a year a year that it was like it's time to go back to the United States and even though she came with her plane she was up and soaring and she was going up again she still had like was about forty thousand dollars debt it was like a cloud over the plane like they go going don't think you're out of my grasp yet I've got forty thousand dollars of debt hanging over you you know you're not out yet so again when you meet and join and everything and I said no you're supposed to go to the United States and at least it's like but what about that's where the cloud was still there what about the debt and everything I said Jesus will handle that debt you just give that debt to Jesus after all that she's been through you've just pulled out of it now back to Jesus again this love affair with Jesus Jesus will handle that forty thousand debt did she come back to the United States and work to pay off the debt no did she find a tree with forty thousand dollars growing on the tree no was it diamond rings coming back no basically I just said Jesus will handle the debt how long from the time that you've got landed back in the United States did it take Jesus without working without receiving any gifts without receiving any support in any way how long did it take Jesus to handle a forty thousand dollar debt when you're on purpose one week Jesus is like boom the cloud the ego boom boom boom boom he takes it away that's the power of Christ if you give your life over to Christ do Christ work anything can be the Holy Spirit moves swiftly just as we've heard in the story swiftly swiftly swiftly and it was again just miraculous Lisa would tell me I found look at this she would like report to me how it was happening but I wasn't surprised by any of that because I really felt I really felt that Jesus would take that away and so how did it happen I found bankruptcy she filed bankruptcy and then everything that she needed for that just drop drop drop drop Jesus can use anything there was no diamond rings involved there was no parachutes and but it was quite amazing and all the way down to the point where the lawyer said you can't have money in your account and so in the end she had to try to find ways that she had a little bit of money left in her account actually I was living on GoFundMe for a while I was putting out a GoFundMe thing and so people were giving me money and so I had like well I didn't have enough to pay off the debt I only got so much so I could make the payments on the debt but I couldn't pay it off because I had tried to get a couple jobs and yeah my skills were gone you know I tried to go back to the old ways I couldn't do anything couldn't do anything anymore it was like I got fired twice you know in the last job I ended up quitting because I actually couldn't do anymore but it was just like I had no power anymore like my arms and my I couldn't work, I couldn't do things that weren't in function actually that weren't part of doing what God's will was for my life and I was fighting that trying to use my it was like I couldn't do it it was the weirdest thing one job she was surrounded by a psychologist you know the model, the psychological model and she'd come so far with the course through all that and then almost trying to go back and fit herself into you know you can't put new wine into old wine skins she was trying to do that so that was another great lesson that you can't put new wine into old wine skins that some of those old mechanisms that used to work so well weren't working at all and we've all had those experiences where we, hey it worked before it's just what's going on this is crazy the ego will tell you you're doing something wrong but actually you can't put your energy and your devotion where it's not supposed to be so needless to say we shared just some of those examples to say that you know what Lisa's been working on for the last how many weeks with the mystery school probably like 8 weeks about 8 weeks the last 8 weeks this whole idea of mystery schools has come and schools and it's just again the spirit is swirling as soon as not only does the Holy Spirit handle everything in your perception but it's also it's got a very deep plan for the whole awakening for everything and everyone and that's been amazing too because you've found your glee again you hit your glee mark again I really love it actually because I feel like truly you know just over these years for me I just feel like my life has been a mystery I've been living in the unknown and really in this total exploration of my own mind that's what it feels like and just you know the beginning phase as I must say I was very scared but then there came a point where I just really let go you know and I said okay God I don't know but I'm just going to keep going and you know I got nothing left to lose actually when you got nothing left to lose you just say I'm just going to keep going and I'm going to see where God would have me go but and so I just actually and just being David whenever seemingly this is this is my assignment has been with David and the community and working with others I love it I'm in love with it and there's just been a lot of healing and now this last time this joining has been so deep because you know I've kind of like the last two years just really just like each day okay what am I doing today God what's going to look like today and within the community it's been really beautiful because that's how we're doing our daily life like okay let's start again today like not to create any rituals not to create anything and really go into prayer and say how are we going to do this okay and so just this whole idea of a mystery school came in well the people that were there said this is really like a mystery school you know we're just really really opening up to see what the Holy Spirit you know will give for us this day and I just share it with you because just this idea and then David when he just joined it felt just really explosive and it felt alive and we're like oh my God this is this is an unbelievable, it's a God idea you can feel it, there's energy and he's like oh my God and then it was really beautiful because everybody had left and went up to the monastery and I was in we have a metaphysical center there and I was sitting there and I was just like totally not knowing how to do this or what to do and just really empty and saying God you show me the way and I'm sitting there in such deep prayer and there's these books up there and all of a sudden I looked up and I just love this because it's so precious to me that there is this book of there called the Tabularasa, it's just a little it's in this folder, it's called the Tabularasa and there's a pristine mind on it and the beautiful thing was this was the very first thing that David gave to me like 15 years ago when I first met him when I first met him he didn't have there was only two videos you know and he actually only had this one writing I mean he had others but it was the only thing that he could hand out at the gathering and he gave it to me at the very first gathering and I remember in the very beginning my child like Lee and you know just like it was like really this mystical mind this mysticism and this love affair with God that it was possible to not take any thought for tomorrow and that this happiness and this Lee was the natural state of the mystic and I I couldn't believe it I pulled it off the shelf and I started reading it and yeah I just feel very grateful, yeah that's what my joining with David and all these undoings was to really not just to talk about that but to come into a living experience of that that was my hope that I ended up trusting the Holy Spirit and while I was sitting there that day I could truly say that that was what my experience is my experience is this into this vast pure child like you know, unknownness but these blocks really do go away and that I was there and so actually we named the school Tabla Ross in Mystery School and so it's she's the director she's come through all that she's the director of the Tabla Ross at Mystery School these are symbols remember as learning goes along we will make many self concepts all this is is the spirit coming up with concepts but they get more lighter more expansive more into the oneness into that experience of it but the best part of it all is not the title it's not the school but to see her happy gleeful like a little kid and joyful racing out of her room David, oh my god you see this thing I saw on the internet discovering videos images you know what I love this most beautiful thing I love the experience of the Holy Spirit doing everything through me step back and let him lead the way there's an experience in that and I'm not the doer it's where my thoughts have been removed that the obstacles for the spirit driven thing like and to watch you know what the Lord will do you know that's not me that's doing these things from my father in heaven those are that's an experience that's a direct experience and I find it utterly fascinating because I feel like that's really what the mystery school is about even the whole idea came in just in an instant and then it kind of got bigger feeling like it's an idea from God it's not my idea it's an idea that keeps growing it's expanding and it is a mystery it's like I feel like it's all about a self discovery I feel like I'm discovering who I am it's such a beautiful discovering falling in love with myself you know and really extending that love to everyone that that isn't just some fantasy but that is who I am and that that's who we all are and like that mystery of that I feel like that love just keeps expanding I might own awareness of that who I am is just expanding like vastly actually but it's not about Lisa it's not about any of this it's about this affair with God or whatever you know who I am and then watching in prayer and say show me and tell me and really knowing that I do not need to know that's not just actually I can't know anything that's what I really if I know anything is I do not know you know that's true that I do not know where I'm going I don't know who I am and that God is going to continually open up these new horizons of yeah of newness and freshness and aliveness you know to truly come to the place of awareness that I am beginning again really every day as a child to come into this defenselessness and an experience where the spirit truly truly do with this and so then I watch it and it's funny with this so it's just we have this new like beautiful backdrop as the mystery school and it's been so fun actually to watch it unfold and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and because it is just blooming and one of the things that's been beautiful about it it has enlivened our whole community around the world everybody's saying they want a lot of people are participating oh everybody's participating I want to be part of it it's not even about some school in the future the first class is going to be in May 2017 but it's not about that it's about this present moment that we get to you know I am the mystery school you know that to live in this unknownness and to be carried like a child and then us coming together in collaboration one of the things that I have been given the gift of is to be with David on this journey and one of the greatest gifts has been collaboration that we work on projects and we really come together like it's just a backdrop really just for us to be together and have the spirit join together you know to work through us to extend this love and to extend this gift of forgiveness and extend just extending extending expanding I mean the mind of God expands forever and we're part of that experience I mean that's a living experience you know when we're caught up and contracted in this fear and you're bound up it's not natural our natural state is to be opening like truly truly opening and expanding and that's not just one time it's an eternal experience that's what I see is like we're removing these thoughts so the mind can continue just to open up open-mindedness is the last characteristic of a teacher of God and my experience for my own self is now that seemingly and I'm right here my mind is open to hear you know the open-mindedness and hearing this whatever the spirit is wanting to do through me, for me just to be in this you know extension and that's for all of us you know it's like it's all of our births rate it's all of our natural state so I think we're getting close to our break time but the key from everything that we've talked about the key lesson from all of this is just to see from all that we've shared all you need is the willingness to let the Holy Spirit do this, handle this exchange the self-concepts you will go through many different self-concepts as learning goes along you know for example if you're identified as being a mother there's ways in which that concept can be expanded I would say you would go from mother to feeling more and more like divine mother you've seen those throughout history the divine mother the divine feminine you move in that direction if you're a minister like Tony that self-concept let that minister concept to keep expanding and that's what Tony is a good example of that there's always the new there's something else coming in there's collaborations there's more joinings and even there are people that have been CEOs like Lisa and they start opening more to being the dreamer of the dream to go from CEO to go from a very open hearted loving politician to keep opening and expanding towards the dreamer of the dream the only way Jesus tells us that we can reach the happy dream is from the experience of being the dreamer he says then you can let a new purpose be given to the dream but as long as you keep being identified with the human being the person as long as you're a figure in somebody else's dream you still are going to play the victim you're still going to be at the mercy of the dream or at the mercy of other dream figures as long as you cling to being a dream figure you will still have these very difficult lessons because you aren't you can't be a dream figure and the dreamer it's one or the other you can't be a body and a mind you are a mind he says holy mind purely mind so the value of what we've been sharing hopefully in a very practical way with these kind of very extreme examples empowering it is to stay open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit because the guidance of the Holy Spirit was there through all of these parables it was there keep coming to me keep opening keep trusting don't get so caught up in the outcomes because if you heard these parables you would say oh that's really good oh that's terrible well that's wonderful you know it's almost like those Easter stories where you know so and so he works in the farm and then he gets drafted into the war and then you know this happens and the wise one just says we shall see like we shall see we shall come to a higher vision through all of these seeming ups and downs we don't even have to be to follow all the ups and downs we can have that faith and trust that no matter what is occurring it's occurring for our good in fact there's a workbook lesson one of the things that I like about the workbook there's in the course there's actually a line that says what happens is what I desire and what does not occur is what I do not want to happen wow that's you know that's like even in this world it is I the rule of my destiny and myself is ruler of the universe that's the lesson what happens is what I desire what does not occur is what I do not want to happen you feel how powerful that is it reminds me of lesson 152 you know it's bringing the power of decision is my own he's saying everything that seems to occur is the result of your decision Jesus comes in right away and says you may believe this is too all-encompassing to be the truth but truth has no exceptions what do you think our theme is for the next conference coming up in 2018 right behind David's head there love makes no exceptions that's where the power is that's what ignites our mind that's what takes us flying soaring up into heights of happiness when we don't make exceptions when we don't try to compromise with the Holy Spirit and say well I don't know my past learning you know is still that's where we try to compromise when we give over our past learning and we say I do not know my own best interest but you do and you show me then that ignites the awakening so I think we've reached the break and then what we'll do after the break there's coffee and I don't know if there's a little cake left and if there's no cake left cake's gone but we'll come back maybe 15-20 minutes something like that we'll come back and then we'll open it up this will be our laboratory then as we come back that second half just a couple of dots for those of you who weren't here for the Sunday service we have all of David's books here and we would be happy to sell them to you and they're all discounted over their regular price and we have his brand new one which is a compilation of sayings of Jesus from the Bible and sayings of Jesus of course from the courts of miracles and showing how similar they are and this is just a great inspirational book and it's also as I said it's Sunday this is a great one to give people who don't know a lot about the courts of miracles to introduce them and to show them just the high spiritual thoughts that are contained in it and how alike they are to some of the high spiritual thoughts in the Bible so this normally sells for about 20 but we're selling it here today for 14 would you just read a few questions out of the front the table of contents at the very very beginning that's what Jesus did he said I'll give you the questions then I'll give you the answers from the Bible and from the course which if you get to know them all this is the Judeo-Christian culture you can go around it helps you speak to whoever you meet in the language of people can understand here are some of these chapters I guess you would call them what is temptation speak on perfect equality what does it mean to be still speak on the resurrection how will the world end speak on prayer how would you like me to look upon the body anyway things of that nature that nature yeah I think there might be a couple of you who didn't get a chance because it was busy to talk to Reverend Kelly about making a contribution for this workshop she is there so go and talk to her now and buy some books and have a coffee maybe about 20 minutes we'll reconvene