 I stream some people still don't know that twitch.tv slash joe cat We have cookies Oh frog nobody likes frogs anyone who says they like frogs is a liar Frogs are the worst I'm better now Hey, just remember If you ever feel unattractive just remember you are someone's favorite set of porn texts Mine's ugly bastard Something up there. Yeah. Oh, look look look chat. Look see see okay, so the left one is red and the right one is normal Oh Nobody saw that nobody saw that None of you saw that none of you so Because my theory was wrong the yellow one is yellow and the orange ones are red What? Understand the detectives off of this case Hey, kami. I want to tell you how sorry I'm there we go You okay up there. All right. Watch me be a pro at this. It was it wasn't no Oh, that actually startled me shit Thank you. Brackie. Oh When I when I see you brackie. I'm gonna kiss you on the lips Oh I'm gonna follow red red follow me good. We are pals We are pals We we chill we relaxing. Yep. We got both osp with us sweet No Vitals and davis dead breaky I went to the laboratory. Is it both of them? Okay. Why okay? Let me let me take a step back here Who's not accusing also joe cast it so see Okay, I am confusion. I'm confused It's osp and breaky we're at cams with me And I what it's both of them and the thing is breaky report is the body the loo saw me. Oh my god. It's blue and red The show that we're from the old world That is Damn that but I mean look is it just me like look at that That is a birthday cake if I've ever seen one. Look at that I told them to wait Okay, okay There we go Yes Yes Yes There we go that was weird that that the previous weight was like a cautious weight Let me give you a treat here you go pepper Yeah, good girl. Oh such a good girl. Oh, you are such a good girl Oh, you're a good and ferocious girl. Yes, you are you're gonna tear those monsters limb from limb. Yes, you are Oh, yes, you are. Oh, yes, you are Oh, yes. Oh, that was so cool Clip that please No, I'm being I'm being seduced to the dark side. I must not I must prevail Join the dudes two cats Join the dudes. I must not abandon the sword and shield But big damage numbers Big damage numbers Oh my god, what happened to those hands? Oh, there they go. There's there's the bicep. Look at that dumpy though God Scott's cake Oh my god, I never knew you could feed an entire royal family with that cake Oh my god, dude Holy shit Why is this on land? There we go and they are extinct And now we have a victory fuck Spouse if I'm covered in the bloodshed of my enemies I'm a wreck from violence This is where it gets real hot You ever want to see two m's fuck We've avenged you we've avenged you. What the hell are those things godspeed free If I had arms, I would be saluting you for this moment, but I don't yeah, of course You panned the sun was perfectly over your shoulder I'm crying a little oh free I mean we have an entire like nest back home. We can go get more. That's yeah What's really funny is some of the I got more hate comments on the girls video than any video and they don't bother me I'm over them but like obviously Pardon the homophobic language, but like people like called it gay like you know in the in the not cool way And I'm like but wait liking it's liking girls gay chat Fellas is it gay to like women? Is it like is it gay to like women chat? That's weird Normally The easiest way to go home is to use a wormhole or I guess get lucky with a wormhole or use a special thing That will teleport you home. I don't have that tool So, um I think the only fitting way is to go out the way that I treat uh planets That is to explode Yes, you are a mario, bro, but you are not the super mario, bro. What's the difference preparation? This marks the first usage of the booray on a living being this wasn't tested before I consider it's totally safe. Wait a minute. Wait a minute You may have cancer now To sleep the dream sleep and dream again Hey chippy Use it all you wish Chippy make sure I don't get cancer. What's this tumor hanging out down here? Look Oh god, I gotta tell junior I have to tell junior. I love him. I have to tell junior. I love him. Oh my god Oh No, I have to update the will Fuck you chair Wait crud. Well, what's the language? Sorry, fuck Hmm peach. Yeah, I do a combination I didn't expect it to what you want be gay do crime Write your characters well Let's get some soups soups soup soup soup soup Soup soup super mario brothers two, baby All right, now let's let's uh, okay. Well, we're just gonna kill it from a range. Oh Fucking piranha Fucking piranha plorp. Sorry not plorp I don't care what it's called nasty It's got like it's like little Vascals or like flopping around Get rid of it. Uh, uh, why does it have teeth? And it's fleshy It's uh Peach's castle Mario pounded me at peaches Hmm This part has spoilers for balcony's necro hunt, so you should probably watch that or you can skip to the next section Welcome to balcony's proper everyone Well, this looks like shit In the in the destructive sense, right? So so this uh this Just as this as you do walk off inock, uh, the human starts to Wake up as a minute has passed Julius Uh, oh, I see uh All right. Well I knew this would happen Ah, you're finally awake Don't don't say it I need to make a wisdom saving throw Oh, I'm not good at those Here we go You are fine this dragonborn is more afraid of you than you are of them and they're However, it seems someone else got a hold of this and In a different script wrote Whoa car is this like your diary or something? Not only is this a complete invasion of privacy, but it's also grammatically incorrect He rides off towards a different direction you assume the barracks And you guys finally arrive In chester city This I think is a good stopping point I gotta say it's sorry. Oh, it's it looks like shit I think this is a good stopping point, uh the art can you send me this please so I can be the background of my desktop once again And last but not least uh davi introduce who you are what you're doing who you play Oh, uh, yo, yo, yo, my name is davi chappy And I'm here to say that sex before marriage is perfectly okay You don't have to get hitched to fuck a beautiful woman or a guy. Hey, it's cool if you swing that way So the next time you feel like screwing around with a boy or a girl or a sexy clown Just remember what your pal davi chappy would say and if they offer you drugs you say, okay Wait, hold on. Wait a minute. I played it. I thought my mom was No, I mean crow mom. Do I have a raven mom? No, it's hard. It's hard to tell the the shape of it Intrigued is it faxled in That would be so sick. I don't know. I don't watch the adventure zone. So, uh Oh So next is thermelius's turn and I personally Or is it spell time he's made of metal Kimo certainly is All right, show me heat metal Through so many voices naysaying say I My heart is now found a place I can reside I hope that the future can hold something new That I can be welcomed by more than a few The embers of my Desire I wish to share it be snuffed out by the cruelty out there I will take what you gave me and make something more I will make something no one thought was done before my friends my friends I will not let this be the final and I will make a home for us I will take it in for us. I will make this a home Are in there we go. Yeah, there it is the comparison The boss when you fight them versus the boss when you have them in your party I am going to walk forward and I am going to hug my boy He has taken a back a bit You see that he drops he he had his sword kind of Hilt He drops it you can see that he is sunned and shocked for a bit. He is just looking towards the sky Take some moment And wraps his arms back around you and squeezes you tight some But yeah Anyway, uh, if you are wondering uh where I'm oh my god, it's feet merchant. Okay Hey, we won and then the big sword Yeah Whoa, it keeps going. Oh my god. There's so many swords Did you see how many swords that was? That was like 20 swords Holy shit Oh, I'm I'm happy. I'm so happy Uh, let's see this one. This one's all right. Yeah This is about the layout that I would have. Uh, you've got the fun things on the side here. That's pretty nice It's actually really clean. I like this one. It's like basic and very similar to like the starter ui But it's like refined, you know Like you've got this This extra bar down here. This is like the extra menu bar You've got your hunting marks down here at the at the bottom so you don't have to keep opening your inventory I should really like this ui This is nice. This is just a nice basic starter ui Yeah Well done druid. I like this. I like this a lot I'm not male or female. I am a six-headed wolf with titties male I can't believe it. They're so pretty actually can't believe it I actually can't believe I don't believe my eyes I don't actually believe this is real We know what's coming Yeah, there we go gold smith's attire. Oh god. I didn't read right this instant lb4 Oh god, oh god kiki I'm so proud of his son. He knows the man derp be careful careful everybody It's a dangerous dangerous gazebo over here. Oh that lalafel has no idea. What's what's gonna happen Oh, just you wait my pretty you and I are going to have so much fun Oh, I remember the funny joke Oh, I should tell sid next time I see him See what happens when you don't just speak your mind lalafel Shoot your shot everybody if you if you don't shoot not just for talking to your crush But taking jobs It never hurts to shoot your shot because if you don't you miss out And a handsome anime boy is going to take it instead. It's all right. He's not naked. We're fine As long as he's not naked. He's not in full power Oh god. No, he shades. Oh, no Oh, no, we're fucked Oh, we're so screwed Victor quibbles You remember when you went to baomung? And somebody gave Gave you a bunch of gill thinking that you were a dancer at the quicksand It was me victor. I dressed up like you. I possessed your body I possessed your body and make you made you dance at the quicksand And that's why you have the random tattoo on your ass. It was me victor. It was me all along Hock you spicy fucks. Welcome to the titties of the dry land Talk to the lift's tendon Oh This part contains spoilers for the critically acclaimed mmo So spoilers for heavens ward storm blood shadow bringers and even end walker Here's here's what happens. Here's how they bang, right? They you just you just like here From the other room like and then you just hear what's it good for you? And then and then the girl's like you that was really fast and he's like such devastation This was not my intention He did it. He said the line Confounded without them. There's no way to master the darkness That power is mine. Yeah, he ain't having anybody's shit. He's like out of the way I must have the darkness. Oh, no the darkness. What is it speak? Hey, forgive the intrusion my lord, but I I bring grave tidings The greater Beesons, okay. I'll keep that in mind the greater of obisons obisance obisons Much appreciated master alphano and mistress to tarot have been detained on suspicion of fermenting heresy Explain exactly It's not about the booba. It's not always about the booba spider-man It's about who the booba is attached to that is also true Very very true booba can only go so far if the person they're Attached to is not as soft as the booba is And do you believe in glamour plates? glamour plates bling is forged on falsehoods Its maximum slots are built on deceit and its cap of 400 is an instrument of deception It is not but a cobweb of its insufficiency To believe in glamour is to believe in nothing For glamour the warrior of light often battle gods to earn their sweet bling I think Oh my gosh, they're two each solace here What the heck which one which one do I shoot? Which one do I kiss What in the hell's are you doing here? A pleasure to see you too garland Now if you'd be so kind as to explain to these good people why you should be begging me for my assistance That would be most appreciated Oh my god, a snowman in alamigo Shouldn't you be a puddle right now? It's like Gotta be like 30 degrees Celsius How are you still here? Oh, that boy's sleeping on the lap everyone I'm not yet. Oh, I guess So we so I think for the easter egg we need one makote player and we need to Uh yak milk, right There we go. Let's see if we get it Pay attention to the head To the head of the old one Right here. It's either this one. Oh, there it is fat cat. Hey You got to look at the front There it is I This goes out to all of you guys like every single one of you is I Appreciate even if you're not able to give financial just being here and watch even if you're not in the streams Just watching my content is all the support I could ever ask for It's okay to say on stream. I'm out. Okay. Well purple estus said that um they recently came out as trans and that that my channel has Kind of been a friendly place and I I am welcome to all You know LGBT and you guys are welcome here and I'm glad to be a safe space for anyone who Just wants a place to just relax, you know and just be yourself So I'm glad to be that place for any of you I'll pay for it Hey, my friend Grateful though. I am for the offer. I cannot ask you for this of you It is enough to know that gossetsu is alive and well, uh, please. I could make it up with just a few dance I mean hard work at the mine mining mining mining Come and show their witness to our dance It has been a while my friends. Yes. Yes a long while indeed Oh, never mind. I thought it was gossetsu You know garland that You know your second boyfriend after me when he touched your leg and you nutted immediately That was me sid I used a magitek device to cause you to jizz in your own pants So that you thought that you came at the touch of another man. It was me sid Much as it grieves me They are stranded here unable to return If I had a nickel for every time thankwood was teleported somewhere and ended up naked I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's still weird that it happened twice Excuse me graha. Oh, yeah, I have a I have a graha. That's been following me named graha toa ever since I did the crystal tower Oh, hi graha toa Oh my gosh, you're actually to taru. Wait a minute. I'm here. Oh, fuck. It's the most powerful scion To taru with a big big ass sword Jesus Oh god Well, don't tell you don't tell her about your financial troubles I have a million gill i'm rich. Oh my god My thanks While you are all out in the field. I shall be here attending to business I had somewhat fancifully contemplated joining the search myself But other matters demand my attention Oh, he's just got invited to smash bros stairs All right, I my sword arm is strong But my legs Have yet practice to do I want to jog up these stairs Do I have to There's another oh, there's another flight. I have a sword arm not a kicking leg Oh, yeah, the artist bit By all means keep your counsel You will all have ample time to confess your crimes back in yule more Now I have this nft to sell Damn it. No, that will destroy the environment and you'll get scammed I'm I now imagining guys doing the I've come to make an announcement The warrior of light is a bitch ass motherfucker who pissed on my magitek arm Ward of light and said it was this big and I said that was disgusting I'm choking. So I'm making an announcement on my link pearl that all Everyone who knows the warrior of light is a bitch We have satisfied thy demands will thou now satisfy ours Of course Though these woods may be they are by and large uninhabitable Not so the swamps of sitia. However, who's sparse foliage permitted man of foothold Hey, if you have melissophobia or the fear of bees or if you just don't like buzzing sounds in your ear Uh, you can skip to the next clip which is at this time stamp All right, here we go A noble sacrifice shall you find everlasting glory shut up pussy Soon you shall know no more. I need to call into work. Let them know I'm gonna be late All right, hold on All right, all right, I think she got the message. Okay this one Screen effect no There we go saturated line work Oh, I need to there we go All right, that's enough of that Something I need rain to see Vothery failed no not november a fractured souls can only feel 1 14th of the love then can somebody explain duly a chai Yeah, she's duly a chai is the exception She took all of the love with her and there are uh 13 other reflections of her that are just had just do not understand love Duly a chai is a reflection of xenos I can see straight through me. Right on taken we go. I am a dwarf and a dig in the hole This is what happens when you beat no not november Be wary of attacks from enemies which will sap your strength. All right, I have been trained for this Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Uh, fucking, uh, fuck water. Uh, fuck Fucking fucking. I need to get the uh, fuck. Uh, fuck. Uh, fucking ass. Uh, shit. Uh, fuck fucking Shit, water water. And water water water and water and water and water and water and water, water water Shit, it's water. I'm not surprised. All right, no water today an impressive-she'll strength mature o nel more than a fourth taste of which emits Apple's conquer Is capable Such might requires a fairer measure to compare like was like Yes, I shall just have to test you myself. Ah, Thou art returned. Tell me, how did Seto receive thine offering? Remarkable. It was fated that Thou shouldst be the one to undertake this task, I think. We'll bring Gabu back. You see if we don't. It would seem our part is played. Let us find a place to recuperate while we wait for news. Maydress? I don't know. This might be a serious cutscene. Fuck it, Maydress. My apologies for calling you away from the charlie and at such short notice. On the contrary, we are honoured and grateful and pleasantly surprised to be joined by such a steam company. Friend could be dying right now. Then I expect you've heard of me. The old. Hmm. What the fuck? What? It was the crystal tower! We have to save wife! Ah, you are returned. But where is Mistress Nidana? We have to save wife! Their efforts to gain Graha Tia's attention go unnoticed. He appears to be lost in her readings. I know what I'll do. Hey, Graha. Hold on. Can I, like, class sit, ground sit? Graha, my back hurts. My neck really hurts from all this reading. I think I could really use a massage. Possibly. I wasn't afforded an explanation. Judging by the requisition list given to me and my colleagues, I doubt it's for any kind of advanced research. You hear that? That's not the sound of rushing water you hear. That's several people's pants gushing of wetness. I'm Joe Kat. I'm best well known for the Crap Guide series. Crap Guide to Monsonner, Crap Guide to D&D, and now more recently Crap Guide to Final Fantasy XIV. I'm also the inventor of the Estinian button. And other such buttons and overlays like Dad Crid. Dad Crid! Galvus. Some people have all the luck. Yeah. Yeah, here it is. Hold on. Uh, look at this short king. Fuck it. Look at him. Look at this guy. Look at this dude. Ooh, fly me to the moon and let me kick its fucking ass. Let me show it what I learned in my moon jiu-jitsu class. In other words, catch these hands. In other words, coward fight me. Long, long before Dalamund was f- Follow the lustrous dog and try not to fall behind. Moon dog, moon dog, moon dog, moon dog. Dog woof woof woof. Dog dog dog. Bark bark bark bark woof. I'm a dog. Of course, it needn't be any trouble, so share. Moments of joy may seem futile. You can share a bed. I mean- But there will come a time- Promise me you will be careful. That you will seek my counsel if you feel unwell. Yes. That puts my heart at ease. You sure I feel unwell? I suspect it will grow colder as the night wears on. So do be sure to stay warm. Sleep well, and may the shadows keep you. Vis picked him first and am horny. Alright, cool. Estinian, get your butt in here. Get that dump truck ass in here. Throw it back for us, Estinian. The twins thought now would be a wonderful time to pay a visit to my chambers. Rather than listen to them bicker over tonight's snacks and tomorrow's plans, I seized the first opportunity to make my escape. He is the only one who dressed up for us. Damn, Estinian. We have to become rich, so our little girl doesn't grow up to be a Twitch streamer. No. Big bro, I think you're really pogchamp. Where the fuck did you hear that? Where did you learn that word? Oh, Monka S. Do they have a tactic? What? A what? Attack these nuts! Yo, he actually got me. Yeah, he got you. He fucking got you. I didn't expect it. Well, I didn't ask directly. Hold on, come here. That's it. He goes back to hell. Who's coming down the grab lift? I'm gonna try and snipe him. Oh, no, this is the flag. Who for you, Spartans? And I am its shadow. It comes in the form of your doom. Anyway, Mario Rabbids. Mario Rabbids was good. I hope this one's good too. Good on the team for getting the opportunity to do more Mario Rabbids. Oh my god, Mario Rabbids Galaxy? Oh god, Luma. Oh god, it's so cursed. I hate it. Oh no. It's going to destroy us all. I mean, that's kind of the point of the Rabbids. Oh god, you know what this means, right? Memes. Well, memes, of course, but Rosalina Rabbid. I think I'm going to fucking calm, dude. I don't know. I'm really in the mood. And Flegma Balls. I can't believe that Hortjaffon died of Flegma. Who's Hortjaffon? Flegma Balls. Now the furries will lude me. Well, then I reap what I sow. Anyway, gender was invented in 1990 to sell premade builds, but you can actually have control over every skill and they don't want you to know that. Yeah, dude. They want to be able to... They're afraid of having to rebalance with all these new gender builds, you know. But you got to shake up the meta or else it's going to get stale. I'm done being sappy. Just think about something else. Think about swords. Swords are cool. Just think about boobs. Boobs don't make me cry. Yeah, I'm going to make... Yeah, think about boobs. There you go. Swords and boobs. Oh, man. Is that goblin, the same goblin that became the artificer? Because he's riding a tank. And I said yes. You know, like a liar. I didn't plan for this goblin to be the artificer, but now I'm retroactively saying that it is because I think that's cooler. I know that's pulling a JK Rowling, which by the way, fuck terfs, fuck JK Rowling. All my homies hate JK Rowling. Fucking... Trans rights, by the way. And I know that's pulling a JK Rowling, but I think it's a cool thing. And I'm going to retroactively say that it's... Yeah, this is the artificer goblin making friends with a tank. So, yeah, chat. If you misbehave, then you get the balls. Oh, yeah. Come, Skeletor! Yes! Oh, we did it! Oh, my gosh! Woo! Oh, thank you, guys. Oh, that was all you. That was all you. I did a little bit. I did healing. I did a little bit of slashing, but it was all you. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Phew. Thank you, Skeletor! You have great assistance! Oh, I could hug all of you right now. Mmm. Elatrion tail. Oh, thanks. I appreciate it, chat. Ooh! You're not a demon. What the... Welcome to the slime pit. How can we help you? His brother, I, the man who just said I'm talking about Peach. Yeah. Yeah, but I doesn't mean I can gaze on her. Of course you can. Mario's got other gals and guys. No, well, I guess Pauline. Yeah, he's got Pauline and every companion from the Paper Mario series. Are you telling me that Mario and Goombella regularly hit it? Yeah. Yeah. You're telling me that Mario and have you... Have you... Oh, my God. You're telling me. Well, I wasn't going to say it like that, but... Well, why not? That was funny as hell. Well, because that's gross. That's their privacy. That's their private time. Thank God. I hate... What? I lived, bitch. Uh-oh. No one asked you to. Sorry about that. Wow. No, I threw him off. No one asked you to. Holy shit. Oh, let's hear it. Oh, my God. That sounded awesome in Italian. Hold on. Holy shit. Oh, let's hear it. Oh, my God. That sounded awesome in Italian. Hold on. I have no idea what he's saying, but that sounded awesome.