 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic this one activity, this one activity is how a man basically falls in love with you or will commit to you. There's one, you know, I will call it that secret activity if you will, but it's not really that secret. It's rather obvious. Really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. I shoot about three or four videos per week. All right, what is it that's going to take for a man to commit to you? What's that one secret that you haven't really explored? And that's what I want to talk about today because I think a lot of you missed the bus on this one. You know what, you have, you are on the bus in your twenties, actually in your teens in your twenties, but I think you forgot this and I think many of you have forgotten this and we're going to talk about why it's been forgotten. So I was recently watching a show on Netflix called Love on the Spectrum. Love on the Spectrum. By the way, if you've seen the show, please post a comment below. I got to tell you, I watched the show, I was immediately crying right from the get go. This was autistic people and Asperger's such and I don't know if that's the appropriate terminology or not, who were in their twenties trying to find love in their lives and it was so adorable and so cute and the parents were so loving and supportive. It just touched my heart. It's only five episodes. They're 40 minutes each. Go do a binge on it. You know, it's interesting. If people with autism and disabilities can find love, then you can too. But what's unique about them is that they actually operate with not as much ego that most people operate and we, most people operate based on a lot of ego. Like I need all these boxes checked of status and looks and all these things. Whereas autistic people are like, I just want to connect with someone for the most part. I mean, they want to feel chemistry. But what's also interesting is they lack filters. They literally speak their mind. I mean, they're documenting these dates and at the end they're like, I don't want to see you again. Bye. No filter. It's actually kind of cute. Wouldn't it be great if we could just be honest with everyone and just say, I'm not interested after a date? But boy, we're afraid of hurting people's feelings. Gosh, we are so protective of everyone else's feelings and saying, Steph's saying, you know what, this isn't right for me and I want to wish you all the best. In fact, people do passive things, passive aggressive things like pretend that they're into you, pretend that they're going to call you and never call you. And I raise my hand. I am guilty of doing this. I am guilty of saying I would call someone I didn't do it because I'm afraid. You know, I have this fear, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and not that they were scorned, but I have a fear of it. Okay. So what did I learn in this video? Well, there was this one young man who was totally into anime, totally into anime. And then there was this other woman who was totally into video games. And she, all she talked about was video games and all he talked about was anime. And there was kind of a disconnect. And while he knew how to play video games, all, I mean, he was a, he was, he drew anime and he was into it. And she, he was into video games and they weren't really connecting. And what I realized was he really wants a woman who's into anime into it. And so I thought to myself, when you look at some of the best relationships, they share this one thing in common and that is they have a common passion, a common passion, a common activity that they share. And I've shared this story before where I met a woman years ago, about a decade ago. And on our second date, she pulled out a deck of playing cards. And, and she said, do you play gin rummy? And I said, yeah, I kind of play and we started to play. And then we ended up going out to a bar for drinks. And we sat at the bar and we played gin rummy for hours. And I got addicted to it. And every time we got together, we played cards together. And I loved it. I was looking forward to it. And even though I was kind of like not really that into her, I was so into that that it kind of kept me a little longer in the relationship. But I, and then as soon as we stopped seeing each other and we would kind of transition to friends, the next woman I met, I'm like, do you play gin rummy? I wanted to play gin rummy with someone I'm in love with kind of thing. And not that gin rummy is my game per se, but I got so into the activity that it became a fun thing to do. And what I see in a lot of relationships today, ladies, you guys are in passive relationships. You're in a relationship that you're not really doing shit together. You're not really, you don't share this common bond. It might be riding bikes at the beach. I live at the ocean. It might be hiking. You know, my best friend in his relationship, they went hiking every weekend. It was some activity they love to do. Some people, it might be going to museums. Some people, it might be shooting pool together, but it's doing something together. I think of my mom and dad. I grew up, my mom and dad, every night when my dad came home, he, you know, said hi to the kids. He took some time for himself. We all had dinner. And after dinner, the kids went off to do something and my mom and dad went in the backyard and they played backgammon. And they played backgammon every night, every night, every night. And you would think it was World War three when they played. Oh my gosh, they played a dollar a game. And it usually was a dollar back and forth, but they were so passionate about it. They did it for as long as I could remember. My mother and father played backgammon on a regular basis. They had passion for it. They shared this common activity. And I'm going to tell you that a common, not that you, there's the thing about dating. We might share things like, do you like sushi? Me too. Do you like snowboarding? My favorite thing to do. Do you like the Rolling Stones? Oh my god, I've seen them five times. But that's not the same as developing a route in that activity, developing the route in that activity. So my invitation for you is to make sure that this is in your consciousness when you're dating in the early stages. And if you're in a relationship, find that common activity. Because the deeper the route in that activity, the stronger your relationship becomes. And it's much harder to break up with someone, not that it should be about hard about breaking up. But when you, that actually creates the trust for commitment. These are one of the routes to trust for commitment. In fact, in my private coaching, I talk about the five routes of trust to commitment. So schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you. So you can learn those five routes to commitment that I talk about my private coaching. All right. Hope you found value in this video. Please post a comment below if this resonate with you. Tell me what your favorite activity is. I'd like to hear it post a comment. I'm going to do my best to read all of them and respond. All right, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch and wishing you a fabulous day. Bye-bye now.