 Have you noticed that traditional relationships seem like the thing of the past? Let's face it, the dating marketplace, and I call it a marketplace because that's literally what it's become, is a total mess. I mean, it's very challenging to connect with people unlike in the past, when we oftentimes met people in our workplace, maybe the town or village we lived in. It was much easier. Maybe it was our college, maybe our school. And now the landscape of dating has changed so much that it makes it difficult to determine if someone legitimately wants something serious or something casual. And it's rather sad to think that dating has become a shit show. I'm just gonna call it for what it is. So I think it's important to explore why is this the case? Is it the dating apps is the problem? Is it the swipe dating apps? Is it because there's this paradox of choice? Is it because people are unconscious? Is it because people can hide behind the screen? Is that part of the problem with connecting with people who are serious versus those who are casual? Is it because of the hookup culture? Is that part of the problem? Is it so easy? And I'm pleased for give this analogy whether it relates or not, can you get the milk for free instead of buying the cow? Is that it? Are these part of the problems? Or is there something deeper underneath that causes human beings to give mixed signals? And this is true. Listen, my audience is women, so I get it. You'd like to point the finger at men. But I want you to know there's always three fingers pointing back at you. Ladies, you're no picnic either. You give mixed signals all the time. It's very confusing for us men because quite frankly, it's confusing because there, I mean, there was because this overwhelm of perceived choice and dysfunctionality. So let's go under the surface. Why does this happen? Why do men give mixed signals? And or why do men and women give mixed signals? Well, I think it's really important to address that childhood wounds and traumas as well as adult traumas cause humans beings to be rather dysfunctional in their dating lives. Let me repeat that human beings are rather dysfunctional in their dating lives. And if you haven't seen my chart, now it's gonna take me a second to find it because it's buried here. There's basically emotional maturity and relationship skills for most humans is weak. And if you haven't seen my chart on emotional maturity and relationship skills, I want you to note here, it says, this is merely, this is not a fact. It's merely an opinion. I believe roughly 20% of the population has clinical issues. Orderline personality, bipolar, narcissism, these are things that are diagnosed issues. And while I say over here, 20% of the population is healthy, that's being ridiculously generous because most everybody is dysfunctional. So is there any wonder if a human being is rather dysfunctional that they might operate in characteristics that isn't consistent? You know, we all love the idea of people with character and integrity, actions matching words. Of course that sounds great. But if you've had childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas like divorce, and divorce for those of us in midlife is an unraveling of the tapestry of our old life and oftentimes it's a contentious experience. Ladies, I hear you complain all the time about your ex-husbands. Well, men complain all the time about their ex-wives. And maybe you can find the truth in the middle of that. And childhood wounds and traumas, folks. There's a picture of my mom and dad, okay? This was when they were in their 20s. My mom blessed her heart. She was a loving person. But anytime she was upset at my dad, my brother or I, she would withdraw love from us. She'd stonewall. She would literally go silent for days and I'm a little 12 year old boy going, mommy, love me, mommy, love me, mommy, love me, when she abandoned us. And imagine how this wears on a human being. And I'm just one example of that. It created an anxious attachment style with me. Within me, if you're not familiar with love attachment style, I highly recommend checking out the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller to understand the difference between anxious, avoidant and secure attachment styles. And also another dysfunctionality within humans, men and women alike, is we gravitate to partners that are unhealthy for us because we're trying to heal a childhood wound within our parents. Why do women choose bad boys? It's because their daughter, excuse me, their father was most likely dysfunctional in his life. And if you're not familiar with the book, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hutt, I highly recommend you check this out so you can learn about the Imago. The Imago means mirror imaging, it's image. We choose based on our upbringing, our imprinting. So is it any wonder when we choose the wrong partner for us, we're going to give mixed signals because one side of us wants one thing, but we're fighting against the other side that's trying to heal a wound. And yet so often, women as well as men throw the other person under the bust as lacking character, lacking integrity. When a lot of this is so ingrained in us, it's so ingrained that it's difficult unless you've done the healing work to actually improve your personality to improve your negative patterns and limiting beliefs. This is why I continually recommend the book The Hoffman Process. This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas, which actually frees you from making poor choices. And most of you are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. Ladies, I'm sorry on some level you operate from a biological instinctual perspective of dependency on men throughout caveman history up until about 50 or 60 years ago, women were predominantly dependent upon men for survival. So no wonder it's ingrained in you. And yet it makes you such beautiful human beings because your nurturers, your givers, your agreeable personalities are great. And yet it sets you up for failure because if you choose the wrong man, you might give your heart to the wrong human being, the man who's not capable of going serious. He might only be capable of casual. And if you need some help with that, check out this link, jonathanaslake.com for recall to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. I help you learn how to ask the right questions to determine based on your personality to determine if he's the right fit for you. So I wanna lean into this conversation about casual relationships in particular because I have noticed that roughly about 80% of those of us in midlife are experiencing more casual relationships than serious relationships. And there's a couple of reasons for this. It's kind of interesting. I was speaking to a guy at the jacuzzi earlier today and he was asking me for, this is a guy I know. I think he's in his mid 40s. Nice guy, school teacher, you know, really good human being. I feel he is a good human being anyway. He's divorced, a couple of kids. And he was telling me how there was a woman he really liked. And he said, basically I'm looking for something casual and nothing serious. And he thinks he might have scared the woman away based on that. I said, yeah, you probably did. But he goes, jonathan, I really liked her. Well, you led with the wrong scenario. You should say I'm genuinely looking for a fully committed relationship, something serious. But he thought, since it wasn't with her, he shouldn't say that. A lot of men state they want casual when they actually want a serious relationship because they don't maybe want a serious relationship with you. So in the beginning stages when a guy says casual, I suggest calling them out. Is that definitively casual? Or is it, you don't want to imply that you want something serious with me and take that off the table. Take that off the table, look, I get it. But let me ask you a question, dude. I want something fully committed. Do you want something fully committed? I'm not expecting you to want it with me. I just wanna know where you're at. And he actually said to me, he goes, yeah, I'm gonna start saying I want a fully committed relationship. It just didn't occur to him because he thought, because so many men are afraid of making a promise they can't keep. I'm gonna repeat that. So many men are afraid of making a promise they can't keep. So take that off the table for them, make it easy for them by stating, look, I want something serious, but I also know it takes time to get to know someone. In fact, this is why I'm such a big proponent. It's what my girlfriend and I have done is we laid our cards on the table right after we agreed we wanted to see each other. And by the way, we literally bypassed the dating process. We saw each other twice and we went immediately into exploring a relationship. We were very intentional. We were very intentional because we laid the cards on the table. We use radical honesty, which means being vulnerable, authentic and transparent without compromising your boundaries. But it's how we set the standard what is laying on the cards on the table? Look it, it requires a couple of things. You have to have a strong connection with the other person. You have to be intentional on what you want, okay? And you have to be self-aware. You have to know your own problems. Look it, I just shared about my mom. So I have a capacity to lean in really fast and get scared and then lean in really fast and get scared and lean in fast and get scared. That's my patterning. Now I'm aware enough to know that it doesn't have to be my experience. It's just my patterning, okay? So I'm aware of that. So I shared that with her. Now a lot of women would say, oh my God, this guy is needy. He's weak, he's a simp, he's a beta male. I am far from being a beta male, okay? But I don't need to sell myself on whether or not I'm an alpha or not because I've certainly accomplished more than most human beings on the light. But I'm getting into the point is I know my deficiencies. I know my red flags and I asked her to share her red flags. It takes a level of awareness. This is why when I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work. By the way, there's a link in the description below to signing up to my group, getting a copy of my book, signing up for a free discovery call. By the way, if this content is resonating with you right now, please hit that like button. Please subscribe to my channel. Please share this with friends. Why I'm saying, why I'm suggesting this is if you want to really accelerate the process of getting to know someone because here's the bottom line. These days we're meeting total strangers. I highly recommend reading the book, Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell. When you're meeting strangers, it takes more effort to build trust with another human being and it requires better communication skills. And let me tell you something ladies, you guys are just, you think you're so good at communicating, but I've got to tell you just because you can vomit your feelings doesn't mean you're good communicators. Watch the TV show Couples Therapy on Showtime, Couples Therapy. The women are just as bad as the man at communicating their feelings. This is why I highly recommend checking out the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. By the way, Jonathan, all you do is recommend books. Folks, for 15, you can spend $150 and change your life in one year. Let me repeat that. You can literally grow from the inside out so you become a better partner for a person by reading or audio version of books or watching them on YouTube. I'm sorry if this pisses off a bunch of you people, but bottom line is this, you spend more time brushing your teeth, combing your hair, putting makeup on and buying shoes than you actually spend in personal development. And no wonder we're in a such a dysfunctional society. Thank God the younger generation is adopting therapy more so than those of us that are tail end baby boomers or Gen Xers. And I yell just because I feel like your children about to touch fire. I'm trying to say, wake up. Wake up from the sleep because you're all sleeping thinking you're so good at this shit. We're all fucking dysfunctional. That's it. We're all dysfunctional for the most part. Look, I'm your big brother. If I could go on a first date with you, I'd have my shotgun out. I'd point at the guy's face and I'd say, what's your intentions with my little sister? You've got to do that for yourself. How are you going to figure out who's casual and who's serious? Because the bottom line is this, if you're in a casual relationship, then I invite you to be empowered and step back a little bit. Be empowered and step back a little bit. What stepping back is, is listen, is not giving more than them. I always say a relationship is like a two lane street. You're traveling on the street at the same speed, but let him travel a little bit more. Don't go ahead of him. Now, I'd say interrogate the motherfucker. Be radically honest right from the get go. I'm sorry. I know everybody tells you don't interrogate, don't interview someone on a date because that turns people off. But look it, if he is attracted to you and he wants to have sex with you, he'll jump through more hoops. Only, let me reframe that. A guy who's serious about a relationship will jump through more hoops. The guy who's not serious about a relationship, he won't jump through any hoops. Listen, I'm sorry to say this, you're the gatekeepers of sex and yet you will allow friends with benefits, situationships and non unlabeled relationships. How many of you are in unlabeled relationships? A lot. Why are you giving your vagina to a guy? I'm sorry, I'm saying it this way. I know you don't like this, this might seem crass, but let me tell you, if women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment, then get some level of commitment before you have sex with someone. Okay, I'm yelling. Chill out Jonathan. I'm passionate about this because I witness mistake after mistake after mistake. You give your power away to men. You are in charge of your relationship, destiny. A guy is not in charge of your destiny. You're in charge of your destiny. Is he serious or is he casual? 80% are gonna be casual. So listen, eight out of 10 guys you meet are gonna operate from casual. Now here's the deal. If he likes you a lot, then you make him jump through all kinds of hoops. You hold off on sex, you ask him radically honest questions, you get deeper than the surface. And I gotta tell you guys are terrible at doing this. I also recommend reading this book, Why Men Love Bitches. Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes, be in your empowerment. Be in your empowerment. By the way, there's another book I haven't recommended in a while. I highly recommend reading this too. Read Dale Carnegie's How to Win and Influence People. This is a great book to learn how to really connect with human beings that are strangers in your life. Because if we're meeting total strangers, we need a level of trust. And I certainly recommend, listen, you all know my rhetoric before the penis goes inside the vagina. Read the book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. At least read chapter one together, which is all about commitment. Listen, most men are good guys, but they're winging it, they're winging it. They don't know what the fuck they're doing in midlife because when we were in our 20s and 30s, we had a goal. Go to college, meet a girl, get married, wait, go to college, get a job, meet a girl, get married, buy a house for the family. It was easy when that was the blueprint. That was the traditional blueprint. For us midlife, that blueprint doesn't exist. You know what it is? It's like I got burnt in my divorce. I don't wanna pay alimony. I don't wanna pay for someone else. And you ladies, you don't wanna be a nurse or purse either, so this is why it's partially dysfunctional. The traditional expectations. So I want you to look at it from a different vantage point. Okay, you're not gonna find most men that are intentional like me. It's just not gonna happen. So understand you have to find the diamond in the rough, like the guy at the jacuzzi. The guy who genuinely wants a serious relationship. You just gotta call them out. Stop giving men a pass and start calling them out. If they like you, they'll make the investment. And if they don't, you're on to the next one. This isn't easy because dating is a shit show. Look it, online dating sites have better success than the swipe apps. The swipe apps, I mean, it is literally a lottery on the swipe apps. The dating apps. Listen, I met my girlfriend through match.com that's a plug for match.com. We met over a year ago. We met a year ago before we physically met. And I gotta tell you, she read my profile, this long essay, this long ass essay that everybody said, don't do it. She read it and said, wow, I appreciate what he wrote. She made the first move. And even then I kind of reject her because it's distance, but that's another story. Anyway, listen, I know men give mixed signals. The reason being is we're all messed up. And I got to fix my computer here for a second. And most guys are doing the best they can. Most guys are doing the best they can. Don't judge the man, judge the circumstances because most human beings have had tough childhoods and maybe are tough, tough adult lives. So why not get better at being in a position where you're empowered rather than giving your power away to a man? That's my invitation for you. All right, is this sinking in? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know. Hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Hit the bell so you can be notified of videos. We're gonna start our Q and A section in just a, or yeah, our segment in just a second. If you know my format, you simply write the word question and then post a question thereafter or purchase a super stick or super chat or a super thanks. There's a little dollar sign. All the monies from the super sticker, super thanks goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley, who passed away. That's a picture of him there. That's a picture of him there. He passed away four years ago, two days ago. I've had to make the choice to kind of, I don't wanna say let him go but to move through this in a different way. So I'm allowing myself not to, I may not talk about, I may even discontinue the scholarship fund. I don't know. But I'm here to say if it wasn't for him passing away, I don't think I would have broken open my heart to be able to write my book. And so for that, I'm grateful. And at the same time, I miss him dearly. So anyways, please purchase a super sticker, super chat. This way I can find your question much quicker and you can support the scholarship fund that goes to help pay for the charities like the Hoffman process and Insight seminars just to name a few. All right, let's see. Okay, Dale wants to know what's your testosterone results? To be honest with you, I'm gonna go see a different doctor. I didn't agree with my GP. So I don't know the answer for that. But thank you for asking. All right, let's go swim in. Here's Pamela Hyde says, I'm a physician. I've never seen anyone heal of mind, body, spirit unless they're willing to do the work on self-discovery and put into action self-responsibility, self-advocacy. Yay, that's exactly it. Thank you, Pamela. That's exactly it. All right, let's see what else we have. You have a question post the word question. So it's easier for me to find or purchase a super sticker, super chat. Okay, Anya says, question. Can you please do a live post on people in their seventies dating and being sexually active? Both divorced and both have been emotionally hurt. Thank you. You know, I want to be candid. I'm in my fifties, okay? I think when we get to our seventies, especially later seventies, the dating dynamic changes radically. And I don't know enough to speak from experience in that age demographic. I can only extrapolate from what I observe. And I will say that just like people in their forties and fifties and sixties, I'm a big proponent of individuals doing the personal development work so they can actually be empowered in the dating process. And most importantly, listen, I think I met my person. I really do believe I met my soulmate. I really do believe that. I share that because I can see even in a short period of time, we are intentional. We are radically honest. We lay the cards on the table. But I also recognize that the last five years that I've been single, I got really, I got to a point where I felt happy with my own company because the reality is, is whether I met a mate or not. At the end of the day, we all, I don't wanna say we die alone, but we only can rely on ourselves to some degree for our happiness. We cannot make our happiness dependent on being in relationship. So, but to the extent coming back to your question about 70-year-olds, let me just say this. Many people are young 70s. Many people are old 70s. Ultimately, if you can attract people to ask you out on dates, then do the work that I've been suggesting. So, you're prepared to be in a relationship with this person and vet them, just like I suggest vetting those in their 40s, 50s or 60s. So, apply the same principles at your age. And by the way, the greatest, the best place to meet these people at retirement homes, at assisted living facilities, at, you know, not retirement homes, but, you know, over 55 communities. That's the place to hang out to meet them and there's an abundance of people. There's probably gonna be more women than men. But that's my suggestion to you. Anya, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, let's go swim, man. Oh, we got another, sorry about that. All right, question, question. Here we go, let's, oh, we got Victoria writes question. I have a man in my life who I believe knows I love him and he sends me signals that he loves me. No movement. We are 25 years apart. He's older. So, what's your question? How to get him to move? How to get him to move? Just tell him, ask him out on a date. Victoria, ask him out on a date and make out with him. Then see what happens. Do take some action. My girlfriend emailed me first. Take some action. That's my suggestion for you. Ask him out on a date. All right, question. He says he doesn't even know what love is between two people anymore. So, how do I get him to see the love from me to him? How do I get him to see the love? Okay, so let's talk about what is love? Is love, I like him, I like him, I like him, or is love, I'll wipe the vomit off your face if you're going through chemotherapy? I mean, really, isn't love being there through the thick and thin? So, if you haven't built the roots to trust, how can he trust that what you're saying is sincere if he's not building the roots at the same time? So, I believe in radical honesty because I believe you're not experiencing love. You're experiencing love attachments. Attachment style. You're feeling attachment and not genuine love because it's not real love unless two people are experiencing it at the same time. In my opinion, it's not real love. It might be unrequited love, but it's most likely attachment to another human being. So, ask him out on dates. Take him out on dates. Make out with him. Have sex with him. I mean, do some action, okay? Now, you haven't given me enough information to know what you guys have been doing, but ultimately, folks, real quick, I'm a big proponent of laying your cards on the table. And if you're not on the same page, move on. You should never have to convince someone to like you. It's okay to try, but you shouldn't have to over convince someone to like you. Maybe it might be a better way of putting it. So, that's my invitation for you. Is this helping Crystal? I hope it has. Irene says, what are males point of view when dating an older woman? By the way, officially, my girlfriend is one year older than me. And I dated someone 10 years older. What's a male point of view? Every male is different. Some men want women 30 years younger, 20 years younger, 10 years younger. Some men are happy dating someone their own age or even older. You know, the bottom line is this. I'll say the bottom line in a second. Swear a little, you'll feel better. I wanna thank the YouTube follower who sent me this. My cup broke, so she sent me a new one. Thank you so much. Bottom line is this. I'm pausing for a second because I wanna describe to you what I feel in my relationship. I feel a sense of acceptance. I love that she doesn't seem to judge me when I'm in my neurosis. I feel good around this person. I mean, look, she's gorgeous and she's friendly and agreeable and compassionate and kind. All these great qualities about her. But ultimately, I just feel good being around this person. She's just being herself. She's not doing anything different than just being herself. And we just happen to click. That doesn't happen with everybody. I've gone out with, listen, in the last year, I've met some really amazing women, some very attractive women. But for whatever reason, it didn't feel like it clicked. But this one, it does. Sometimes it's just timing. Sometimes it's just an affinity towards another person. It's not something you can just look at. One size doesn't fit all. Listen, you guys know, I don't like long distance relationships. I can't stand long distance relationship. And guess what? I'm dating someone or I'm in a relationship with someone that's distance. But I will tell you, we've already had discussions. That distance is gonna be shortened in a very short period of time. Because I think if you're not, if you're gonna consider someone who lives in distance and you better have a plan to shift everything quickly because long drawn out relationships can oftentimes be, I've talked to women, oh my God, I've talked to women who said that they're in a long distance relationship for nine months and they've never met the guy or 10 months or 11, I mean, I've talked to one woman says she's been, she's been in a long distance relationship for two years and never met the guy. That's a cyber relationship. I'm talking about if you wanna build deep roots through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork building skills, both in your personal and professional life, you're gonna require seeing each other on a regular basis. And if you're like me that wants a fully committed relationship then you better take that distance and shorten it really quickly or have a plan to make that happen and that's what we've done. I went off on a tangent, but the bottom line is this, why is this woman so special to me? Because I feel good just being around her. I can't pin it down to one thing. It's the essence of who she is and not just one or two things. All right, hope that helps. Thank you so much. Cheryl says, I'm sorry for your loss. No, keep the scholarship going. My son Christopher died at age 29 years ago. The pain of the broken heart hurts all the time. Cheryl, I'm sending you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. Thank you, I will do that. Okay, let's see. Kathleen, why do men feel and think when they know they're hurting someone? What do men feel and think when they know they're hurting someone? You know, it's difficult to have mixed feelings. It's difficult. I mean, to feel divided within oneself. Most of the time mixed signals, mixed feelings is a division within oneself. And so they like you, but they're blocked in some sense and they might be hurting you because of this. I think it's hard when you like someone and you're hurting them, you're feeling this confliction inside of you. By the way, there's nothing easy about this shit. There's nothing easy about interpersonal relationships. The question becomes, why do you accept bad behavior? That would be a question to ask oneself. Why do I accept bad behavior? Why don't I stand up for myself? That's a question to ask. I recommended a lot of books to consider. So how do they feel? They feel shitty and at the same time, they don't know what to do because they don't have the tools within themselves. They don't have the resources within themselves. Oh, by the way, so I hope I answered your question, Kathleen, thank you so much. Folks, I wanna thank everybody. I got my YouTube plaque. Check it out. Passing 100,000 subscribers. I wanna thank you all for the love and support. I really appreciate your help in making this happen. Thank you so much. I was gonna hang it up here, but it's reflecting, my lighting reflects from it. So I just wanna thank everyone for helping me achieve that 100,000 mark. I'm really grateful. All right, we're gonna take one more question or two before we wrap up today. Oh, don't forget to purchase a super sticker, super chat. I'd be so grateful. All right, lock this user. All right, question, question. Paula says, age is only a number. It is the chemistry between two people. I'll help you move forward. Amen. That's how I feel. Marie says, Maria, I'm 48. I met, I met, say when, wait, I'm 48. Men, I meet, met. Say they want a relationship to lead in to doing something, but don't follow through. What's the best place to meet people? Online dating still seems to be the number one place to meet people. You can hang out in grocery stores, good luck. You can hang out at over 55 communities. That might be a place to go if you're over 55. You can do meetup groups, but online dating is still the number one place to meet people. That's how I met my gal. So that still tends to be the best place. Ask friends, get fixed up on blind dates. You might have to try 100 spokes in the wheel. Because nowadays, we no longer live in towns and villages. So it makes it much harder to really connect with someone. And by the way, online dating isn't going away. It's just more bastardized than ever before, but it's not going away. All right, we're gonna take one more question, I think. Ah, question. What, from Anya, what to do if we did not do the work before being sexually involved? Is it too late four months into it? Well, is it too late? No, have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. Find out what you, find out what you want. Find out what he wants and see if you're on the same page. By the way, schedule a call with me. That would be a great way to decide if I can help you or not in this capacity. But folks, it's time to stop being naive. You have to be more intentional right from the get-go. Is it too late? Maybe not. Does he care about you? Are you too friendly with each other? Do you do social activities, hobbies, mutual interests? Do you spend time with family and friends? Because if you're doing that, then it's not too late. But it's time to establish where you want because get busy living or get busy dying in my opinion. And you're gonna die a slow death waiting for him to make a move. You make the move. Because guys are winging it, as I said. You are the gatekeepers of sex. They're the gatekeepers of commitment. Get a commitment before they get sex. That's my invitation for you. All right. Kathleen says, nailed it. I'm learning, which is why I'm watching. Thank you always for your perspective. Folks, is this making a difference? Is this setting in? Are you learning from this content? Please let me know. Let me know this is making a difference. All right. Miss B says, I had to tone myself down, honey. L-O-L, thank you so much. All right. Listen, I think this would be a great place to wrap up. I'm feeling a little dry mouth. Folks, let me wrap up with this. I'm crazy about the person I'm with. How did this happen? I practice the principles I teach in my private coaching to attract this person in my life. I wrote an exquisite dating profile. I had quality photographs. That was number one. I spoke my truth to her on our second phone call. I said, I didn't really like our first phone call and I shared it with her. And she listened to me and accepted it. We then built a friendship along the way before we actually met. So when we met, we weren't meeting as a date, we were meeting as friends. And there was a tremendous connection between the two of us. And that connection allowed to build something. And then we practiced radical honesty, laying our cards on the table, being intentional. So we, and we spent a significant amount of time together. I'll be candid with you folks because it's long distance. We spent 17 days out of one month together, 24 seven. That accelerated the process. Yes, we had sex, but we had sex after reading my dating vows to each other or almost at that time. I'll read my dating vows to you all. Either way, there's the dating vows in the description below. Here it is. The dating vows. We each recited this to each other. I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next three to six months. I agree to be monogamous sexually while we're having regular sex together. I agree to not actively seek to meet or date others while we're in the dating process, including taking down our dating profiles. I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling back, ghosting or disappearing. I agree to invest regular time in this process to get to know you, which looks like social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling, teamwork, building skills. By the way, we're traveling for my birthday at the end of the month. We're going to Cancun. I'm excited about that. I'm celebrating a big birthday. We're doing the things to genuinely get to know each other because we laid the cards on the table right from the get-go because we had a strong bond with each other. We were intentional and we are self-reflective. We know our red flags and we spoke up about it because we don't have time to fuck around at this age. We're like, look, let's shit or get off the pot. If this isn't going to work, that's okay. It's okay if it doesn't work out. And the more we dug the roots, dug the deeper roots of trust, the more attached we are to each other. And I mean attached in a good, healthy way, in a secure attachment way. So read all the books I recommend. Check out the link to Jonathan recommend books in the description of this video. Start doing the inner work. Put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to approach men. It's called dropping the hanky and see what happens because guess what? Look, I believe we do this over and over again. So we live our lives, we die and we do this again and again. Let's try to get it right this time. That's my invitation for you all. All right, listen, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today. Hold on a second. We have a troller here. Listen, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off. Give myself a big, gigantic, Jonathan Barrack of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone. Pat, a teddy bear pillow and give inner them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Power of Chee. I wanna thank Kelly. I wanna thank Victoria. I wanna thank Raising Faith Forever, RG, Linda, Miss B, Ricardo, or Ricardo, let's see, Heather, Sarah, Cheryl, Maria, Anya, Victoria. I wanna thank you all so much. Did you find value in this? Please let me know. If this is making a difference in your life, please hit that like button. Let me know, subscribe to my channel. And I'm wishing you all the best. And I hope that you attract the love that you desire in your life. Wishing you a super-duper, wonderful, fantastic day. Bye-bye now.