 And that is your emotion because, in fact, let's do a little test. If you can, we'll take your middle finger, okay? And I want you to put it down and all the other fingers up. And really kind of, you know, lock it behind there. I'm gonna demonstrate on this book. I want you to press it down like this. Okay, we're gonna do a little test. Raise your thumb if you've found talking to more people on your quest for self-development has made you more refined as a conversationalist, maybe. It's improved your skills a little bit. Okay, cool. Next question. As you've spoken to people and you've maybe practiced, raise your little finger if you've had conversations that are fun. Definitely me. I've had a lot of fun conversations. All right, almost there. When talking to people, I want you to raise your index finger if you've ever shared a good story with a stranger. Yeah, I've done that. And lastly, if you've ever gotten over your anxiety of starting conversations up with people you've never met before, raise your ring finger. Ah, I've got a bit of a problem there. Well, I couldn't raise my ring finger, so that means I've still got it. I've still got that anxiety of talking to people. But hang on a minute, I've been doing self-improvement or I've been in this industry for years. Why have I still got it? The answer is because I'm human. You're born with a suite of emotions and they're great. Anger, happiness, embarrassment, jealousy, even the bad ones that we kind of try and hide. You're human, that's the point of being human. Rather than trying to block those emotions out, rather than trying to build the confidence to overcome them, it's not about that. It's about enjoying those emotions when you experience them. Because in eight years, I've never seen one confidence course that works. Now, maybe I haven't seen enough confidence courses, but I meet people that have been on them and they get to the end and they say, yep, that's me, I'm fixed. And about two weeks later, after they've finished feeling good, they're crap again. They're not right. Or they have a spate of feeling really confident for a while and after six months, for some reason, it just dies. Maybe they had an off day. Maybe they spoke to some people and it didn't really work out too well. And their confidence goes. That's because confidence relies on success to work. You have to have a good result, a good result, a good result. If I get a bad result enough times in a row, my confidence is going to be shot. Now, here's the problem. Do you remember what I said about the world around us and the world inside our mind? Can you think of anybody you know who doesn't have at least one little problem they're working through in their life? That their life is absolutely peachy in every way. There's just nothing wrong. I can't think of anyone. The one thing I have learned, and I wish I did know when I was 21, is all the stuff that happens to you in your life, all the bullshit just gets replaced with new bullshit. You never ever really fixed the bullshit problem. You never ever really fix the stuff that comes in. It just gets changed. It just gets replaced. And it's that kind of the bullshit when it happens. It's how you deal with it that determines who you're going to become as a person. You're always being tested like that. It's great. It probably just doesn't feel that way right now. So all those people, they've all got some sort of problem they're working on. I will never look to those people to pat my back for me. I'll never look to my audience to pat my back for me. I'll never look to anyone I meet to pat my back for me because I have no control over how they think or feel about me. I have good intentions, but I have no control. What I mean by that is a story from my father. He was a salesman back in the day and he would sell machinery and all the other salesmen got together one day and they were talking and he said, what's going on? They were talking about this one prospect who was a complete hard-ass who nobody could sell to. And he said, do you know what? I want to have a go. And they said, no, don't. They tried to warn him. They said, he will just tell you to get lost. So I'm proud to say my dad, being my dad, he gave it a shot. He turned up, knocked on the door and the guy told him to get lost straight away. He said, oh, okay. He goes, I'm just going to go. But before I do, what's the matter? He said, the matter is you're in my office. You're going to go out the window if you're not careful. My dad said, well, I'm leaving anyway. But I've really got to know what's up. Again, the guy told him to get lost. But my dad persisted and he said, look, I'm going anyway, either by the window or by the stairs. I'm going to probably end up in a sling. But what's up? And the guy told him that a relative of his was very sick in hospital and about to die any day. So no wonder this guy was angry. No wonder this guy was upset. And all the other salesmen just thought he was an asshole. Maybe he was at that moment. But there was all that other stuff going on in his life at the time. My dad had no control over that. No one does. The people you talk to, you have no control what's going on in their life. So for that reason, why base how you feel about yourself on somebody else's opinion? If I hold up my hand like this, you guys see my palm. Is that correct? I too see that as well, I guess. But you see from this angle and I see from this angle. We both see the same hand. But our perspectives are different. Our perspectives change our perception of things. Imagine you're driving along and you hear the familiar sirens of an ambulance behind you. It comes right up behind you. You think, okay, I've got to move. So you move out the way and all the other cars move out the way as well and they let the ambulance go by. And right behind that ambulance is a Ferrari. Right up the back of the ambulance. It's used that gap that you've made. What do you think about the driver? Any ideas? Arrogant, yeah. That's what I do when I first heard that. But we don't know if that driver is chasing an ambulance because his wife's dying or been involved in an accident. We don't know anything. So whatever we project onto stuff that happens in the world around us determines how we look at life. And we don't know shit. So there's two types of people in life. We're called them bananas. In fact, let me ask you, if I want to find out which banana is the biggest, what do I do? Pardon? Measure them. How would I measure them? What's a really quick way? If I held them out like that, would that work? What about if I put them close together? That would probably tell me which is the biggest. Would that be right? Okay. And it looks like this one's the biggest. Here you go. I just realized throwing a banana, it may come back to me. They're kind of boomerang shaped. There you go. People are sometimes like bananas. And I'll explain why. In life, we look for other people to see where we fit in the scheme of things. And the reason is we all have a sense of belonging. We want to know where we fit into the fabric of society. And we get that by looking at every other person and looking at how they react to us to tell us if we're cool, if we're not cool. In fact, let's replace the bananas with diamonds. Some diamonds think, hang on a minute, am I a big diamond? Am I a small diamond? Have I got a crack down me? How do I compare to all the other diamonds? And they say, ah, okay, I'm a little diamond. Right. That's one type of people. The other type, just know they're diamonds. And people go, hey, are you a big diamond or a small diamond? They just go, I'm a diamond. Yeah, but are you massive or... I'm a diamond. In other words, what I'm trying to say is they know who they are. They understand who they are. They're not looking for everyone else to react to them, to say certain things to them, to see where they fit in the scheme of things. So that's the start of sorting out what's going in there. Because when you sort out what's going on there, the emotions you project will be different. And that's what affects other people. Hitler wouldn't have been able to have risen to the level of power he had had he not been really likeable. If he was an asshole, which he's known for being, he wouldn't have had that success. It's his ability to instill that emotion in people. Now, if you imagine, if you turn up in a Ferrari and a girl sees you driving a Ferrari, that might make her fall in a motion. She might be very attracted to you. But what if it's Enzo Ferrari's great-granddaughter, who was born and raised around Ferraris? Is she going to feel the same sort of emotion?