 So, today we're gonna talk about red flag phrases, emotionally unavailable men tell women. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my channel, if this content resonates with you, do me a favor, hit that like button. And I just want you to know my coaching is what I call heart-centered radical honesty. It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart and occasionally use expletives to enhance the sentence. Also, there's the occasional F-bomb that comes out. So, if that isn't your cup of tea, log off right now. Lastly, these are my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions, by no means do I suggest this is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. I'm a bit of a contrarian. So, my advice goes contrary to public opinion and traditional expectations. All right, so we're gonna talk about some red flag phrases that emotionally unavailable men might say. You know, it's interesting to me. If you're a woman who's single and looking for love and you truly want a fully committed relationship, the most common red flag phrase you might hear from a man is I'm not looking for anything serious. And I love that one because it begs the question, what are you looking for? You know, well, I just want a relationship. Well, wait a minute. You said you didn't want something serious, but you want a relationship. What does a relationship mean to you? What does serious mean to you? You know, start, let's poke around and let's start getting deeper into when people say things. Why don't we call them out on this shit, okay? So, I think it's important though when we talk about red flags, and by the way, a red flag is different than a deal breaker. I'm gonna repeat that. A red flag is different than a deal breaker. A deal breaker is your no, it's to say no. Like for some people, their deal breaker are people who are smokers. For some people, their deal breaker is they don't wanna have children and the other person does wanna have children. That might be a deal breaker. For some people, it might be, I said smoking. There's a variety of different things. Deal breakers aren't always about honesty, integrity and trust because to me, those are givens. If your relationship doesn't have it, that's just an obvious reason to end a relationship. But what other deal breakers are more, you might not want someone who's in debt, for example. You might want someone who's not currently in a relationship with someone else. You might want someone whose marriage didn't just end 35 seconds ago. So whatever those are for you, you have to establish your deal breakers. Red flags are interesting. I might wanna ask a question. I might wanna go deeper than that. And today we're gonna share some not so common red flag phrases men say. They're not that common and yet they are said and it begs the question when you hear this, is this a sign that he's emotionally unavailable? Is this a sign he's not seeking a fully committed relationship? And I'm assuming you're on this channel because you're one of those women who's seeking a fully committed relationship. So let's jump into some of these red flags. My copy mug says just keep swimming. So I've got my trusty notes here. Let's pull it up and let's jump into them. Many of you complain that I take way too long to get into the content. So we're gonna do it much quicker this time. So here are some red flag phrases that might make your radar go up. It might make your spider senses go up. And if you have any, as soon as I get through this, if you have any of your own, please post it in the chat box because I wanna add to this equation. Okay, so number one, have any of you heard the phrase all the women I've ever dated are crazy? All the women I've ever dated crazy. To me, that's a red flag because when someone says that, they're basically complaining about their past relationships. And in addition, they're not taking any ownership on why they might have made these women crazy because I can guarantee you while there are certainly crazy women out there. Now, I don't mean to disparage those with mental health issues but certainly borderline personality disorder can come across as very, very, what's the word I'm thinking of? Not just dysfunctional, but come out of the blue where a person's nice one minute and totally, it's the Jekyll and Hyde type of personality are the borderline personalities and bipolar are people that have huge mood swings. So that could feel a certain level of I don't like the word crazy, but that's how someone might perceive it. So when someone has said that, they have to look at if everybody they've dated that way is that way, you have to ask yourself, well, what is it about you that either makes them that way? What is it about you that chooses those types of women? Now I will say this, we oftentimes choose partners very similar to one or both of our parents. And if you're not familiar with the book Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt, I highly recommend checking this out. Let me read the back to you. Discover why you choose your mate. Resolve the power struggle that prevents greater intimacy. Learn to listen and really listen to your partner. Increase laughter. This really helps you understand that the Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt, their work talks about the Amago and why we choose partners a certain way. So there's a link below to get all the books I recommend and Jonathan recommend books. So when someone says all the women I've ever dated are crazy, probably a red flag. Number two, I'm not the boyfriend type. I don't like labels. I'm not the boyfriend type. I don't like labels. You know, I'm sorry, there's a label for everything. My book has a label. It's called a book, okay? My coffee mug has a label. It's called a coffee mug. My pen has a label. It's called a pen. You know, we identify with things including relationships by the labels we give it. So when someone says I don't want to have a label or I'm not boyfriend material, that's probably a huge red flag that this person probably isn't serious about wanting to be in a relationship. They are most likely, as I said earlier, a bit emotionally unavailable type of men when they lead with that kind of stuff because I have definitely talked about the men who are in, by the way, if you're not familiar with my three types of men who are actively dating, there's the users, there's the growers and the builders, and then there's the spenders. And let me explain this. Users are the people that love bomb, come on strong. Oh, by the way, this is not a fact. This is an opinion. The players, the love bombers, they're the ones who come on strong. They're in it for the short run. And the growers are the people that genuinely want a fully committed relationship. I call them growers or builders because they want to build something with something that they don't want to do. They want to build something with somebody. They want to take care of somebody. They want a fully committed relationship. And the reason why I call these men spenders, and that's 60%, these are men that seek connection, companionship and coupling, but with no real direction in the relationship. These are just men who want to spend time with you. They don't want to grow with you. They just want your time. They're actually bordering on energy vampires because they don't often, they give so little in the relationship, in relationship to how much they take from you in relationship. These are the men who seek companionship, connection and coupling or sex, but they don't really have the capacity for commitment. You hear this all the time. You start dating someone and after a while they go, I'm just not ready for a relationship. I find it fascinating how many men aren't ready for a relationship, but three days later, they're on the dating apps seeking a relationship with someone. So just remember, those are what I call spenders. And one of the things I do in my private coaching is help you decipher who are the users, the spenders and growers. So check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. That's my area of expertise is to teach you that. Number three, he says, I'm a spontaneous type of guy. I hate making plans. I'm a spontaneous guy. I hate making plans. I don't like making plans. Now I can relate to that folks because I'm a bit, I'm a terrible planner. Now that's a limiting belief on my part. I just tend to be better at some things in my life. I'm not a great planner. I can plan. Some people are just better at it, but I certainly have the capacity to make plans. When someone says, I'm a spontaneous person, I don't make plans. Probably a good sign that they're not capable. And you might wanna ask deeper questions. So what is it about making plans that's challenging for you? Are you just seeking a relationship at your beck and collar? Are you looking for a two lane street type of relationship? Ask better questions is my invitation for all of you. Number four, I have lots of female friends. I have lots of female friends. Anyone who has lots of female friends, that begs a question because look it, I'm in a business where I talk to women all day long. And still I probably have an equal ratio of men friends and probably, let me not an equal ratio. I still probably have more male friends than I do female friends. By the way, if a guy doesn't have male friends, that's a red flag too. When someone says, I don't have too many male friends, that's probably a warning sign. Something is wrong. Because if you don't have, if you don't have friends in your life, God, what do you fucking do during your day? I mean, one of the things I look forward to is either talking to my friends or getting together with them. So anyone who says I have way too many female friends, I don't have any male friends, probably a red flag. Okay, this is a sexually oriented one. But if you start talking to a guy early on and he says, how do you feel about dressing up like a school girl? Or anything related to that, dominatrix, that sort of thing. If he leads with sex, anyone who leads with sex in the early stage of dating, probably a red flag unless some rapport has been built between the two of you and you've actually talked a little bit about sex, that's a little bit different than those that just lead with sex, okay? Probably a red flag. All those guys, God, I can't believe how many guys, I have a doc, I had a client recently tell me a doctor she was communicating with, sent a dick pic on their second communication. I'm like, what is it with these guys? They actually think this works? I'm sorry, I'm just flabbergasted sometimes. I'm saddened for you and I'm flabbergasted for you. So again, if he leads with sex and I wrote the one, how do you feel about dressing up in a school girl or dominatrix outfit? Here's a huge red flag for those of you that wanna fully commit a relationship. Says, I don't wanna get married. I don't wanna get married, I don't wanna get remarried. That begs a question. Red flags again means ask better questions. And I would probably do a little bit of digging to find out why is the, what's the case behind that? Why would someone not wanna get married or remarried? At least find out their why before you cut that person completely off. So because I know after my divorce, I didn't wanna get married. It took me a while to really come back to some level of center to actually want to consider getting remarried. So certainly a good question to ask. It's not a total deal breaker, but I'd want to know why that is. Now, here's a bonus one that I didn't add. And he says, this is for guys that put you in the friend zone. These are men that say, I'm not dating anyone else, but I'd like to be friends with you. Usually the red flag there is the guy is using you as his therapist. And what I mean by his therapist, he's using you for feminine energy, for feminine company. So he says something like, I'm not dating anyone else and I'd really like to be friends. Now, I'm not, it's just be mindful of the men that put you in the friend zone because oftentimes it's to fill the void in their life when a man puts you, by the way, being put in the friend zone in general is because someone doesn't wanna pursue a relationship with you and at the same time, they wanna void filled for themselves. And the last one that I'm sharing today really quickly, before I share this one, I just wanna give props to Elizabeth for the $1.99 super sticker. I really appreciate that for the Conor Asley Fund. And for number seven, I just ended a relationship like literally last week. Someone who has literally just ended a relationship, it's probably a huge red flag because it takes time to unravel the tapestry of an old life and then be able to reintegrate yourself into some assemblance of creating a foundation creating a foundation for you to actually consider exploring a deeper relationship with someone else. Otherwise, they're just seeking, they're the spenders. You know, most of those guys that just ended a relationship, they're simply the spenders. Sometimes they're users, sometimes they're spenders, but rarely are they the growers and the builders. All right, so here are just some seven or eight red flag phrases, emotionally unavailable men tell women. Have you experienced any of these? Please post a comment below. I'd, yes, I've heard one of those. And feel free to post one of your own right now before we take the actual live Q&A post. Here's just write the word red flag and then post it thereafter and then I'll put it up on the screen. Red flag phrase you've heard from a guy and I'd like to unpack that for you. Really quickly, if you're again, brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit that like button, hit the subscribe button if this content resonates with you, subscribe and hit the bell as well. I'd be truly grateful. Let's see what we have here today. Are there any red flag phrases you've heard that we can talk about before we actually jump into the Q&A? Really quickly, I wanna share something. Oh, by the way, Gray says, yes, I've heard these red flag phrases. So there we go, a few of those. So see, it's not uncommon. I wanna address something. Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he kind of implied, it was my, well, he didn't imply this. This was just my perception of what he might've been thinking I should say. And that is that I might be a little bit of a pessimist because he believes there are a lot more good men out there that women don't give a chance to. Now, repeat that there's a lot of good men out there, women don't give a chance to. And I can agree with him that I do observe a lot of women who don't give men a chance. I do observe that. I also know there's a lot of fucking jackass men out there that are using women. So, you know, because folks, you know how I feel about emotional maturity and relationship skills. You're not familiar with my chart, emotional maturity relationship skills. I believe roughly 20%, by the way, this is not in fact merely an opinion. I believe 20% of the population has clinical issues. And while I state 20% of the population has healthy relationship skills, I believe most everybody is dysfunctional. So while there are good guys, oops, there's good guys out there, there's a lot of dysfunctional people out there, men and women alike. And so I'm an equal opportunity judge of both genders. And I'm here to say, as much as I think there are, you know, jackass men out there, as much as I think there are good men out there, there's a lot of dysfunctional men, just like there's a lot of dysfunctional women as well. All right, let's get into the red flag phrases before we change into our standard Q&A. So I see a few have popped up. Let's see what we got here. Red flag phrase, how many men have you slept with? I don't know if that's a red flag phrase as much as I could be, you know, we men definitely are territorial. And asking that question is because we certainly don't want to find ourselves in relationship with someone who we believe is a bit promiscuous. So I would say that's a yellow flag versus a red flag on their emotional availability and ability to commit. I think it might be a fair question, people ask each other. Certainly how many relationships you've had might indicate how many people you slept with. So I don't know if I see that as a red flag, Jade, but I really do appreciate the question. Jennifer says, red flag phrase from a man my way or the highway. Well, we certainly, that's probably a guy that's a control freak, so I get that one. Janet says, hello, Coach Jonathan, I'm so grateful for all your teachings, your videos, your coaching, thank you, thank you, thank you. I adore you, Janet, big hugs to you for that. Thanks so much. All right, red flag, I just want to see what's out there. See in a profile on a dating app. I just want to see what's out there. Yeah, that doesn't imply real directionality. I also think that's kind of an unconscious phrase because on some level, isn't that what we're all doing? When we're swiping, we're just seeing what's out there. You know, there's a bumble profile. There's my bumble profile, just seeing what's out there. So I think to some degree, that's probably the case. I don't know if that's a red flag, but it would probably be a yellow flag for sure. Okay, Jade says, red flag seems he was dating others also not exclusives, want to keep both of you separate. Well, certainly, well, that's not a red flag phrase, but certainly anybody's dating two people at a time that might be a red flag for a person. All right, Teresa says, red flag, call you honey, say hi honey before the first date, pet names need more. I'm gonna be guilty of that, folks. I have a habitual habit of saying sweetheart or something like that. So is that a red flag? Might be a yellow flag, might be a term of endearment. I don't think that's a red flag necessarily and I can only say that because I say it myself. When I like someone, it's kind of sweetheart, it's just something, I'm a boomer, I grew up with that. It's kind of part of my lexicon. I don't think it means anything negative. So that's just my opinion on that, Teresa. All right, Osha says, red flag, I want you to be my whore. Someone really said this and I thought he could convince me on just being not authentic. I don't think that's a red flag. That's a downright deal breaker in my mind. Linda says, I love you but I'm not in love with you. Oh my God, I've been there. Yeah, that's basically is the buzzkill to any relationship when you say I love you but I'm not in love with you because it basically says I'm not feeling. You know, here's the problem. The problem is this. We take time to invest to get to know someone and the more we uncover them, the more we realize we might be misaligned or less attracted to them. But the problem is you've invested, invested, invested and it's hard to unravel that tapestry once you have invested in it. But ultimately and feelings are very confusing. Feelings are very confusing. So it's not uncommon to be uncertain about how you feel someone in the beginning and you can feel uncertain about how you feel someone a little bit down the road because you might like some parts of a person and not all parts of a person and then you're wrestling within yourself. So whether it's a red flag or not, certainly it is a buzzkill when we hear that, especially if you've been intimate with each other regularly and you've talked about a future together. So I could see how that could be very disconcerting to experience that and hear that. So yeah, it's probably not a red flag. It's gonna be, it's on the way out is what's happening. All right. Lisbeth says, sweetie, before first date is Ugg. I guess I'm an Ugg. I've done it. Heather wrote this. The first guy dated years after my separation bragged about his criminal record as if it was a term. Well, there's a lot of women that go after men in prison probably cause they know they can't go anywhere. You know what that's gonna be for the red flag phrases. I'm gonna leave it at that for now. We've got a ton here. I really wanna thank you. I wanna leave space now for our live stream Q&A that is about any topic you want. So if you have a question, post the word question then write the question there after or simply purchase a super sticker super chat. There's a little dollar sign there in the chat box. All the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Aslay. That's my son right there. He's my son who passed away almost four years ago now. It'll be his birthday in about a month. And in his name, I donate to causes like the Hoffman process and insight seminars as well as helping those defray the cost of some of those organizations as well. So again, purchase a little super sticker super chat. And if you're listening to the audio portion of this, you won't be able to see any of this, but I will do my best to read them all. All right, so write the word question then post the question there after and it's time for the Jonathan Aslay Q&A. By the way, I hope I don't seem like a pessimist folks. Oh, by the way, write the word question then post the question you have thereafter for those that don't get it. Post the question thereafter. Kit Kat has a question. Did you have a nice Easter, Jonathan? Much love Kit Kat hugs to you. Oh, thank you. Kit Kat, thank you so much. I had a wonderful Easter. I did get to connect with my son for a little bit. And I did get to, I went out to brunch, not brunch. I went out to breakfast at this great place at the village where I live in, which is right by the ocean. And I had a wonderful time. So thank you so much. By the way, Princess A, I read what you shared. I don't want to share that publicly. Please contact a health professional. Please contact a health professional. And right at this moment, please get on the phone, contact a hotline because that is out of my area of expertise. So thank you so much. All right, FL says personal question. What's your favorite dessert? My favorite dessert is bread pudding. Is my all time favorite dessert? Cheesecake is up there. And I love French vanilla ice cream. So that's my favorite. Thank you so much. Nicole writes, my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for seven months. I'm ready to make the move. I got kids. What if he doesn't want to move? What if he doesn't want to move? Is it too soon to ask? Well, I'm not a big fan of long distance relationships if you don't begin having a plan right in the early stages of dating of how we're going to take this distance into. So by the time you become exclusive with one another, by the time the penis goes inside the vagina, my hope is you purchase two copies of the book, eight dates by doctors, John and Julie Gottman, and start reading this book together to determine if you're really a long-term fit with one another. Folks, stop being so naive at this. This is what you should be doing. And to follow up book on this, it's not about marriage, but it's the book is called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. This helps gives you a foundation to determine if you're actually right for each other. So my invitation is you have these conversations right now as soon as possible. Don't move until you really have a solid plan. Listen, I once worked with a client. She was three years in a long distance relationship. I wasn't in favor of it. She decided, she uprooted her children, got in the custody battle with her ex-husband, moved 300 miles, and within six months that fantastic relationship she had imploded, she had spent a year in court just to be able to move there to battle her ex-husband, only to have the whole thing implode within six months. And I don't know if they got married, but they got engaged and they were broken up within eight, nine months. If you don't have a plan, if you're not, listen, stop being so naive to think men know this shit. Men are fucking clueless. Most men are clueless. They're winging it. They're winging it. They're winging it. It's because the vast majority of humans have terrible relationship skills and you're self included. And I'm yelling only like Cher in the movie, Moonstruck, snap out of it. Start reading these books together before you even remotely move to determine if you're on the same page. Nicole, good luck with that one. Thank you. Danielle says, question, do you think it's all right for a woman to ask a man's phone number and social media when they first meet in a bar or restaurant? Fuck yeah. Who cares who does the first move? If he likes you enough, like you can even take him out on a date. If he likes you, then he's gonna wanna spend time with you. By the way, the older demographic is a lot different than the 20 and 30 year old demographic. The 40, 50 and 60 year olds, we're all just fucking grateful to get a date these days because it's a cluster fuck out there. Swipe dating is ruined, bastardize the dating process. So go for it. What do you have to lose? Same thing, men. We might get rejected. By the way, check out the book if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated. This is a deep dive into dating without the gender rhetoric and the gender bullshit. So Danielle, check out this book. You'll go, thank you, Jonathan, later. And if you get a great date, let us know in the chat box on another live stream. All right, FL says, I love those too. I think you're talking about bread pudding. Thank you so much. Question, what do you say to a man when you tell him you have two jobs and it's hard for you to be spontaneous with the next meeting when you told him your schedule? What do you say to a man? Well, you've already said it. I guess your question, what? Because you've already said it. If he likes you, he's gonna work around your schedule. If he doesn't like you, he's gonna move on. That's just as simple as that. All right, thank you. Elizabeth writes, how long do you tell a guy that you do not want sexual relationship until after we date a bit longer? Well, first off, I believe that, I matter of fact, my video coming out on Sunday, when is the right time to sleep together is going to go into this in a little bit detail. That's my Sunday video. So how do you tell a guy? I would simply say, I don't engage in intimate relationships, physical intimacy until I feel a level of safety and trust. I don't know how long that takes. It's certainly not gonna take a year or six months. But I would certainly say that when we both feel like it's the right time, or you could say if you really wanna genuinely get to know me, let's purchase the book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman before your penis ever gets to go inside my vagina. That's my rough thoughts on that and watch the video that's coming out on Sunday. All right, thank you so much for that when I appreciate it. Ooh, Jade says, ugly question. Related to number six, how do we look upon men who go to strip clubs prostitutes? Lied and hit it. Sorry, curious as a female. Is it normal or something all men normally do? Does it change? Well, I've been to strip clubs, so I have been to strip clubs. I'm trying to think, when was the last time I was at a strip club? Had it's probably been a decade, I'm guessing. No prostitutes in my life. If somebody, and by the way, the reason why someone might go to a prostitute is because it might be hard to find sexual relationships with someone. By the way, there's a significant percentage of the male population these days that are involuntarily or involuntarily celibate. So there is a lot of frustration with a lot of men out there, and I can understand why they might because they want to have physical contact and physical pleasure, but they might want to go to a prostitute. I'm not advocating for it. I just understand it. But is that a red flag? Certainly if someone's in their 40s, 50s, or 60s, it's probably not the strip club, but definitely probably the prostitutes. That's just my rough guess anyway. Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it, Jade. It wasn't ugly. I want to thank Jody P for the $20 super sticker. Thank you so much. All right. Princess writes, been going through it. I've been getting help. It hasn't helped. It's verbally abusive in front of my son. Do you think running away is the safest option? Again, this is out of my area of expertise. I would prefer that you seek real professional help. I'm a big proponent though. Remove yourself from an environment that's unhealthy. I'm in agreement with that. But after that, I would recommend definite mental health as well as social health for what you shared earlier. Thank you so much, Princess. I can't even pronounce what your name is. Question, what should I make of a man who says, this is me opening up to you on a couple of days, but then pulls back shortly after. We've been on about eight dates. You know, emotional intimacy is scary. It's scary. I would highly recommend checking out the book. I hear you, the surprising skill behind extraordinary relationships, as well as I would check out the book, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters, because opening up and being vulnerable with a person is a very scary thing. So I'm not surprised that as we get closer to someone, we actually might pull away because it feels scary to open ourselves up to someone. So I would read these books. I would read them together if you're having regular sex together to actually start building a stronger bond with one another. That would be my recommendation anyway. All right, thank you for that question. Robin says, Jen, are you currently single, big, big hugs? I am currently not in a relationship with a romantic relationship with anyone. I am in an amazing relationship with myself right now. And what I mean to say is I'm becoming more aware of how I've been sabotaging my own love life for the last four years. And but this doesn't count, but shortly after my significant relationship ended, I did do a deep dive in the Hoffman process. I did a deep dive in insight seminars. I lost my mother. There's a picture of my mom and dad there. I lost my mother about four years ago and then I lost my 19 year old son about three and a half years ago. And then my father moved away. So I went through a lot of emotional pain and distress and I'm finally coming out of this tunnel, if you will. I share this with you all because I noticed that my biggest block is I was addicted to the online dating process. Yeah, it became a world that's really in the last 30 to 60 days where I've been addicted to the swipe and I believe the universe just keeps sending me the wrong person, the wrong person, the wrong person because I've been so addicted to the swipe. So I made a conscious choice to myself to let go of the dating apps. And by the way, I did a single, not a singles event, amazing strangers event last weekend or the weekend before that. I'm going to a retreat center. Oh my God, I'm so jazzed. I'm gonna be doing a psilocybin retreat in the next two weeks. I'm so jazzed about that with about 40 people. I'm hoping mostly women. I'm hoping not from a sexual perspective but who knows who I might meet. I'm going to Chicago next month to a wedding. So I'm putting myself out there instead of I'm letting go of the online addiction because swipe dating has bastardized the dating process and I'm just fed up with it. Although 50% of all new relationships are happening with an online connection, I've decided to go back to basics and allow the universe to attract someone in for me. So God, universe spirit. I hold space now that I open my heart to receive love in a romantic sense because I have the capacity now to give love. And I'd like to invite in that juicy, delicious relationship where we experienced chemistry together. I'd like to invite in that relationship that where we can communicate together and our banter can go on for hours and hours at a time and our sense of humor clicks in ways where our little kids get to play together. I invite in a relationship where we're compatible with one another and we can blend lives together and I invite a relationship where we share the same values and we are aligned for the most part in the areas that hold dear to us, those areas of personal development, self-help and spiritual work and our ideologies are one where we can grow together. And lastly, we can build the deep roots of trust that can sustain a long-term loving relationship where we speak each other's love language, where we're in agreement when it comes to all the different economics of a relationship where we enjoy social activities, hobbies, mutual interests and we can spend time with family and friends and lastly, we fuck each other's brains out on a regular basis. Dear God, universe and spirit, I invite that into my life and that is my prayer for me and that is my prayer for you as well. All right. That's what love would do and that's how love would respond. All right, let's see what else we got lots of questions. This is a lot to cover. I wanna thank Jody for that $20 Super Sticker again. I saw another one. Grace, thank you for that $5 Super Sticker. Thank you so much. The Connor Fund appreciates you. I saw another one here. Where was that? Ah, my gosh. FL, thank you so much. I appreciate the $9.99 Super Sticker. Oh my God. Colleen says, wow. Felicia says, you got this. You're gonna meet your person. Holly says, amen. Ava says, yay, Jonathan. Marianne says, double amen. Yeah, fuck each other's brains out. Yeah. I got a load up on Viagra. Leaf says, good for you, Jonathan. Oh, I don't know what that is. You'll self, the old fashioned way. Happy self love and barrier removals. Yes, reminder of my book. What the heck is self love anyway? A journey of personal development, self open spiritual work. Ah, let's see what else we have here. Melissa says, I love your energy. Ava says, you're a great guy. All right, let's see what we have here. Debbie says, God heard your prayer, amen. Grace says, thank you, Jonathan. I had a question. Can you possibly give me your opinion? Grace, write it really quickly right now. Go cut and paste it so I can see it because I didn't see it earlier. All right, let's see. Let's go swim in. Kimberly says, I am, amen. I am in agreement with you about giving up on dating apps and relying on God more. Now you are moving forward, amen. Thank you so much, I agree. Not, I'm not giving up on dating apps. I'm just cut back on it like 99%. So, Grace, post your question really quickly before I lose my space here. Dale says, I call you a realist. Thank you so much. My guy doesn't like labels, has been hurt before. I get it, we've all been hurt. It sucks, sucks getting hurt. All right, Grace says, seeing a guy and he told me he likes me and talking to someone else. These days, you know what? Men and women alike want to keep their options open because it takes time to get to know someone. I'm a proponent of two people like each other. They invest in one another to get to know one another at one time. That's just how I operate. I'm not, but that doesn't mean everybody operates this way. A lot of the younger generation date multiple people at the same time. That's just not how I operate. So, you have to decide what works best for you because saying you like someone, what does that mean? I like people, doesn't mean I want to date them. So, are you actually exploring a relationship together? That's the real deeper question I invite you to look at. All right, thank you so much for that question, Grace. Leif says, Melissa, please put a question in front so I can see it. Folks, it is coming in so fast and furious. I can't see this. Oh, Melissa said, why do guys texting when they did so much and why do guys stop texting? Because they don't have to. Once we got you, we don't have to make in the effort. And by the way, texting is fucking draining. It's draining. God, I know some people that expect four or five text messages a day, it's draining. Listen, texting is simply, hey, do you want to get together? What time? That's what texting is. If you're having testing communication, it's an unhealthy form of communication. I invite you to spend more face to face time together. Folks, it's gonna be difficult to build the roots of trust until you spend face to face time together on a regular basis, doing social activities, hobbies, mutual interest in spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in your personal and professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional, intimacy that leads to something. Texting is not going to lead to a serious relationship. Stephanie says I'm stealing your prayer. I hope you do, go back and listen to it. Write it out for us. All right, what else do we have here? Susan says, question, if someone needs their privacy, do I stop contacting them? To me, that's an excuse for I'm not into you. So, have you been in a fully committed relationship with them? Were you monogamous and exclusive together? Were you seeing each other for six months or did you see each other twice over a two week period? Someone who says they need their privacy might mean that there's something going on where they need privacy. It might mean that they don't want you to dig deeper into their life. But again, folks, if you're exploring a relationship, listen, ladies, here's the thing. You've been so indoctrinated that men are the leaders of the relationship and I'm here to say you're giving the job to the wrong person. You were in charge of your relationship, Destiny. How do you do that? Is you express your needs, wants and desires and you find out if you're on the same page. Start speaking up in my book. Chapter one, Speak Your Truth, Do It With Kindness. By the way, link below, Jonathan recommends books. Chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So, start speaking your truth and find out what kind of relationship you're in. I read some of these comments, I'm like, what kind of relationship are you guys in? All right, Mary says, I dislike texting unless it's something like I'm almost there. I'm the same with you. I don't like long texting conversations. I can't think with my thumbs. Be Cat says, if a man acts really interested in me but talks a lot about a former relationship in his exes, I'm just wasting my time on an emotionally unavailable man. Probably, it's probably a red flag. As I said in this broadcast, it's probably when someone, well, I didn't say it on this one, but when they're talking about a past relationship, there's a good chance that that's a red flag that they haven't healed from their past relationship. So, Be Cat, I invite you to ask this question of him. What did you learn from your past relationship? What positive things did you learn about yourself? Someone write this in the comment. What positive things did you learn about yourself in that last relationship and listen to his answer? That would be my recommendation. All right, thank you for that one. I appreciate it. Candice writes, my boyfriend has a lot of bad things going on in his life right now and our sex life has slowed down. Should I be concerned? For better, for worse, through thicker, through thin, since sickness and health till death do us part. You know, relationships are like a roller coaster. They're gonna be ups and downs. There's always important to have concern about someone who's going through challenges in their life. Here's, listen, I all want you to learn the C word, the C word, that is communication. You ladies act like you're so good at communicating and yet many of you are so effing clueless. I highly recommend purchasing two books. One is called Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg and the second book is called I Hear You. The surprisingly simple skills behind an extraordinary relationship. Start learning better communication skills by asking better questions of your partner. Folks, my channel is all designed to encourage you. Oh, and by the way, you may wanna check these two books out. How to build trust in a relationship and couples communication guide. Folks, stop being so naive to how relationships work. Figure out how they work and then choose people who wanna work on them with you. It's not rocket scientists. Rocket scientists, it's not rocket science. When I mean by it's not rocket science, if you've been listening to my channel, if you binge my videos over and over again, why do I repeat myself over and over and over and over and over again? It's to get this shit to stick in your head. You're going to have to learn how to be in a relationship. You're gonna have to learn how to be a grown up in a relationship because many of you are acting like children and what I mean to say is you're acting naive. Learn the principles to a successful relationship and you're gonna have greater success. All of the women who write me these days are telling me Jonathan, these books are changing my life and it's really helping in our relationship. So get busy living or get busy dying is my favorite phrase. Tell me what movie that's from. Get busy living or get busy dying. Thank you, Candice, for that question. Should you be concerned? I'm more concerned about you not learning to speak up. And by the way, if that felt like any judgment, I apologize, I just kind of go off the cuff of what I think is happening here. So thank you. Holly says, I love that you are in charge of your relationship. Amen. F.L. says, B, ask him if he's over his ex. Ask questions. Jody says, ever hear of anyone throughout your spiritual groups mentioned that they felt as if they were tempted for a higher love in their lifetime, one that they'll meet, grow and build with help the people in planet? Oh, gotcha. You should check out the book. You should definitely check out the book. I'm standing up here right now. Check out the book by Gary Zukoff. It's called Spiritual Partnership. Spiritual Partnership. Check, by the way, he wrote a great book called The Seat of the Soul. I mean, these are fantastic books, but I highly, this is if you really wanna go to ninja level, spiritual level of relationships, along with, I talk about, this book is to me, the divine book for connecting on a spiritual level with your partner if the Buddha dated. By the way, there's a link below to all the books I recommend. So yes, I totally agree. Folks, we're gonna wrap up soon. Please purchase a super sticker, super chat so I can give to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. There's another picture of my son. There's Colin, by the way, he came to visit me today. I'm so blessed. He came by and we hung out for a few minutes before he went to work. So I'm very blessed to be able to have my son who's with me here. Oh yes, everybody, that's right. Shawshank Redemption. Shawshank Redemption, Shawshank Redemption. And Shawshank Redemption. All right. You know what, folks? Listen, it's not easy out there. I get it. There are a lot of good men out there. They're just bad daters. There's a lot of dysfunctional human beings out there. Very few people actually do the personal development, self-help, and spiritual work that puts them in a space to actually be able to experience a juicy, delicious relationship that I frequently talk about. It doesn't matter whether or not you have a romantic relationship in your life. What matters most is the relationship you have with yourself because that's what love would do and that's how love would respond. So I invite you all to put your hand on your heart right now and simply say, it's raining good matches in my life and I'm loving myself and everyone else. It's raining good women in my life and I'm loving myself and everyone else. It's raining good men in my life and I'm loving myself and everyone else. You say men, I say women. It's raining good women matches in my life. I'm loving myself and everyone else. Invite love into your life. Open your heart chakra to allow it in and let the universe do the balance of the work because whenever we try to force it, it's much harder. And when we let God, universe, faith, God, universe, spirit guide us, I believe we attract in what we want. All right, I think this will be a good place to wrap up today. If you found value, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. As always, if you're new to my channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell. If you like this video, please share it with friends. Please like this video if you'd like to connect with me. Check out the link to a free discovery call. Also check out all the books I recommend. Check out my podcast, you can find me on Instagram. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic John of America self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow. Give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use love, more love in our lives. I wanna thank Sherry and Colleen and Jade and Amy and Janet and Gina, Mary Ann, J.W.F.L. Butterfl- Butfell Fluttery by Mu-Mac, Renee, Jade, Late Leaf, Melissa, Justin, there's our guy. Hey, Justin, everyone, Barbara, Tammy, Lorraine. Anyone, Kit Kat. And if Heather, if you're still here, thank you all so much, wishing you a fabulous evening, bye now.